Towards An American Khmer Rouge

Shorter Michael Barone, Townhall.com
Voters Spurn the ‘Boob Bait’ of the Educated Class

  • How dare Barack and Bobo insult conservatives by assuming they’re smart enough to give a crap about the intellectual father of conservatism? Let’s smash all the nerds wearing glasses … who’s with me?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


More: Best graf in the Barone column:

Members of “the educated class” may trust government bureaucrats to allocate health care resources — that’s the way they talk — and to utilize comparative effectiveness research to control physicians’ decisions. Many of them are employed by governments or nonprofits and are used to navigating bureaucratic waters. After all, their prime asset in life is their ability to manipulate words.

As opposed to the grunts and shrieks employed by the ‘bubbas’ to communicate, in Barone’s estimation. Use your words, Southies!

 

Comments: 96

 
 
 

again, i left the boat, what a dickhead, but can our north American viewers fill me in, what is a; “kicky restaurant”… one where you get your head kicked in if you ask where the salad bar is?

 
 

BTW, all Massholes hate ‘comparative effectiveness research’ with a passion. This is why they are constantly demanding that Theo Epstein be fired as GM of the Red Sox.

 
Michael "Moran" Barone
 

Stoopid is good.

 
 

We in the health care trades are largely illiterate and speak in monosyllables. That’s how Mr. Barone likes it, and we aim to please.

 
 

ha! i’m a nerd wearing contact lens! they’ll never find me.

 
 

Jesus. I’m back in the boat and wish I’d never left.

 
 

I’ve said it before, and I say it again. Problem with democracy is that stupid people are a majority.

Actually, I think lazy people are a bigger majority.

 
 

So how does Mr. Barone suggest “resources be allocated”? What’s his preferred methodology?

Snatching and grabbing? “Looting?”

 
 

also, what the fuck do these people think insurance companies do? insurance is gambling and the insurance company is the house. i work in life insurance, so a bit different in execution, but the concept is the same: how much money can we make off you before you die and we have to give some back (unless you bought term insurance, in which case you just give us money and we expect you not to die in that 10 or 20 period). do they not understand things like teams of actuaries being paid gobs of money to mathematically figure out when you are likely to die, and to charge accordingly? do they not understand simple concepts, like if you deign to make a claim on something like auto insurance, your rates go up? cause, you know, you actually used the policy you were paying for. fer fuck’s sake, car insurance companies will charge you more if you don’t have continous coverage.

and still, none of that crap is as bad as refusing (or charging obscene amounts) coverage for pre-existing conditions…you know, actually being sick and needing to go to the doctor often. the business model of the entire insurance industry boils down to “you pay us, we invest it and try as hard as we can not to give you any money back”.

 
 

So how does Mr. Barone suggest “resources be allocated”? What’s his preferred methodology?

Snatching and grabbing? “Looting?”

Flexing. Picture the skinny-dude-getting-sand-kicked-in-his-eyes ad for Charles Atlas.

Also, don’t picture the skinny-dude-getting-breasts-in-his-eyes ad for Pam Atlas. Also.

 
 

Got off the boat; need a shower. Trust teh Shorter, sadlies!

 
 

The beginning of Barone’s column:

When the New York Times columnist David Brooks first sat down with Barack Obama, they talked a lot about Burke. That’s Edmund Burke, the 18th century conservative British politician and philosopher. Not Jimmy Burke, the 20th century Massachusetts pol, who said that all you had to know to serve in Congress was “Social Security and shoes.”

Nor did they speak of Delta Burke, who played “Suzanne Sugarbaker” on TV’s Designing Women.

 
 

You also need to practice repeating the phrase “Social Security and Shoes”, because cops use this one at DUI checkpoints a lot.

 
 

Nor did they speak of Delta Burke, who played “Suzanne Sugarbaker” on TV’s Designing Women.

Nor William Burke, one of the Edinburgh resurrection men.

 
 

So how does Mr. Barone suggest “resources be allocated”? What’s his preferred methodology?

Easy – Not rich enough? **shrug**.

 
 

Oh, FYWP. What kind of idiot commenting software doesn’t allow standard HTML linking?

Michael Barone: Totally not a nerd: http://www.usnews.com/dbimages/master/6320/FE_PR_080814barone.jpg

 
 

If conservatives want to be ideologically coherent they must pay attention to the rock-solid drumming of Clem Burke.

 
 

Nor William Burke, one of the Edinburgh resurrection men.

Perhaps most egregiously, they said nary a word about singer Alexandra Burke, seen here performing the song Bad Boys with rapper Flo Rida.

 
 

I have a co-worker who is a borderline Liberterian and global warming denier; his pet peeve is that all the educated talk to his ilk and the teabaggers like they’re stupid.

I tell him to stop saying stupid stuff and that will end. He apparently doesn’t believe me.

Stupid fucker.

 
The Goddamn Batman Wonders If They Spoke Of Berke Breathed, Or Merely Alluded To Him With A "Ack! Thpphpt!"
 

Barone’s so funny when he tries to pretend that the GOP is once again down with the proletariat because Captain Treasure Trail beat the worst Senate candidate of recent memory by a whopping six points. How he got through the column without mentioning arugula once, I’ll never know; certainly any sense of restraint or writing skill didn’t enter into it.

 
 

what is a; “kicky restaurant”

How he got through the column without mentioning arugula once, I’ll never know; certainly any sense of restraint or writing skill didn’t enter into it.

Clearly “kicky restaurant” is dog-whistle for “arugula”.

 
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape
 

Pol Pot is known for executing anybody wearing glasses — a sure sign they’re intellectuals. He was a strict Constitutionalist, right?

 
 

Or Patty Burke, my friend in the sixth grade, who was smarter than Barone even back then.

 
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape
 

BTW, “kicky restaurant” = arugula, but furthermore, suggests homosexuals, young integrated urban professionals, and people with discretionary income for meals and entertainment. In other words, you’re not a real American if you eat anything but TV dinners and the occasional splurge at Cracker Barrel.

And “splurge” is all they serve at Cracker Barrel, I assure you.

 
 

“you’re not a real American if you eat anything but TV dinners and the occasional splurge at Cracker Barrel”

You are forgetting the swell swill served at McDonalds and the not-arugula at the Appleby’s salad bar.

 
 

nor did they speak of Juliet Burke, M.D., island dweller and part-time Other

 
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape
 

Appleby’s is for FAGGOTS. McDonalds is okay except it’s popular with ni[ding].

 
 

Also no mention of Brook Burke who was known to be “wild on” social secruty and shoes.

 
 

Secruty??? I typed it and I still have no idea what it is.

 
 

I’d have voted this sentence from the last graf of the first page as the best:

…Brown only narrowly lost blue-collar Worcester and Brockton, Jimmy Burke’s old shoe town…

You see, the “the children and grandchildren of the people Jimmy Burke represented 40 or 50 years ago” gave Scott Brown the “thumbs-up” by voting for Coakley. Brilliant.

 
 

My favorite part of the column is definitely his invocation of “boot bait for the bubbas.” Apparently he hasn’t actually know anything about Daniel Patrick Moynihan or the context of that comment. Yes sir, trying to pass a huge, progressive bill for comprehensive health care reform sure is just nothing but good ol’ speachifyin!

 
 

Secruty??? I typed it and I still have no idea what it is.

Heh, the Great Gazoogle can find it for me though.

 
 

For anyone with too much time on his hands, satire opportunity.

And a shot at a 2k prize.

 
 

Also Solomon Burke, whose hit (insert title I can’t remember) was unforgettable.

 
 

“I have a co-worker who is a borderline Liberterian and global warming denier; his pet peeve is that all the educated talk to his ilk and the teabaggers like they’re stupid.”

For a movement that whines about class warfare all the time, they seem to do a pretty big amount of it themselves. How many conservative voters have we seen since Nixon who can be led around by the nose to support anything and anyone as long as they’re told that the intellectuals don’t want them to do it?

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Do You Have a Brilliant, Right Policy Idea?

This question feels like it is looking for the square root of -1 or trying to find a point north of the north pole.

The winner will involve vouchers. Vouchers are the solution for everything, as I understand the matter in right wing parlance.

 
 

The only ‘words’ we need to know you librul faggit ay-leet types is I DRIVE A TRUCK!!!

 
 

El Cid you ol’ mother trucker you.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Going further into the rabbit hole, it turns out this has nothing to do with “policy” per se:

Competitors should submit a brief description (800 words maximum) of a practical step to promote the restoration of the federal government to its constitutional dimensions.

The winning entry might be a policy change (past examples include supply-side tax cuts), a structural change (past examples include term limits), or a new way of arguing that will help shape public opinion and create the conditions for reform.

The “problem” they are trying to solve is not poverty, or disease, or climate change, or crime, they are trying to solve the problem of government trying to solve any of these problems.

I still say vouchers will be involved somehow. It’s their turn.

 
 

I think it’s about time that the 5 conservative Supes just decide, WTF, why not roll back pretty much the entire modern federal government and radically re-interpret the Commerce Clause. After all, the only government we need in this country are Chuck Norris’ fists.

 
 

I drive a truck full, I MEAN FULL, of wine boxes!

 
 

Members of “the educated class” are pleased by Obama’s decision to close Guantanamo and congressional Democrats’ bills addressing supposed global warming. They are puzzled by his reticence to advance gay rights but assume that in his heart he is on their side.

They support more tepidly the Democrats’ big government spending, higher taxes and health care bills as necessary to attract the votes of the less enlightened and well-off. For “the educated class,” such programs are, in the words of the late Sen. Pat Moynihan, “boob bait for the bubbas.”

Wrong on every single point except the first. But then, Barone’s assumption that liberals aren’t really sincere in their arguments, goals, or methods, but are simply using them as manipulation tactics, is understandable – after all, that’s the conservative modus operandi. The idea that liberals might actually mean it when they say they’re okay with paying taxes for constructive (ie, non-bloated-military) purposes probably doesn’t even occur to him.

 
Progressive Center Left Grrl Voice of Truth
 

The “problem” they are trying to solve is not poverty, or disease, or climate change, or crime, they are trying to solve the problem of government trying to solve any of these problems.

Yeah, I was just about to point this out. It’s breathtakingly revealing about the ideological bankruptcy of the right. “We’re not really sure what we’re about, so write in your suggestions!”

 
 

I like this cute little cottage industry sprouting in wingnut think tank land where idle nutter intellectuals sit on their asses and pen columns decrying Democrats/Obama/etc. for their smartness. See also: Sowell, Tom.

 
 

And yeah, it goes without saying that Baroney may be the most habitual of all wingnut history-abusers, even including VDH.

 
 

Totally OT, but I need emotional support.

I accidentally set my alarm clock radio to Michael Savage. I woke up to insinuations that Obama is cowardly and duplicitous because the New York Times use the construction “The White House” instead of saying “the president” or naming him by name, if that is his real name.

Before i could scramble over my sleeping partner to beat the evil machine into silence, he had gone on to accuse CARE of racism for questioning Senator Inhofe’s support of racial profiling at airports, because, after all, the good man flies home every weekend.

 
 

The world haggis hurling record is 180 feet, 10 inches. (1.5lb haggis)

 
 

I accidentally set my alarm clock radio to Michael Savage. I woke up to insinuations that Obama is cowardly and duplicitous because the New York Times use the construction “The White House” instead of saying “the president” or naming him by name, if that is his real name.

Before i could scramble over my sleeping partner to beat the evil machine into silence, he had gone on to accuse CARE of racism for questioning Senator Inhofe’s support of racial profiling at airports, because, after all, the good man flies home every weekend.

Well you should, uh… hmm…

Sorry, all I got from that was “eh heh heh, you get laid.” I’m pretty childish that way.

 
 

Yes sir, trying to pass a huge, progressive bill for comprehensive health care reform sure is just nothing but good ol’ speachifyin!

It doesn’t mean anything. It’s like ramalamadingdong or give peace a chance.

 
 

Oblio’s Cap said,

January 25, 2010 at 17:42

I have a co-worker who is a borderline Liberterian and global warming denier; his pet peeve is that all the educated talk to his ilk and the teabaggers like they’re stupid.

I tell him to stop saying stupid stuff and that will end. He apparently doesn’t believe me.

Marry me.

Anyone who can snark like that AND make a “The Point” reference in the same post… *eeeeeeee*!

 
 

Sorry, all I got from that was “eh heh heh, you get laid.” I’m pretty childish that way.

Yeah, that’s all I was trying to say.

 
 

I like this cute little cottage industry sprouting in wingnut think tank land where idle nutter intellectuals sit on their asses and pen columns decrying Democrats/Obama/etc. for their smartness.

Um, hold it a minnit!

Aren’t these the very same people who not so long ago were criticizing Obama as a big dumb dummy who couldn’t talk without a teleprompter?

 
 

“I accidentally set my alarm clock radio to Michael Savage”

Ah, so waking up to a little comedy, then. That’s a great idea!

 
 

“I accidentally set my alarm clock radio to Michael Savage”

Try switching to Dan Savage.

 
 

a new way of arguing that will help shape public opinion and create the conditions for reform.

I assume this new way will not rely on the

ability to manipulate words

because that’s the weapon of choice of the edjumacated ee-leets. So it’s chest-beating and poo-flinging, I take it?

 
 

Totally OT, but I need emotional support.

Anyone else reminded of Groundhog Day? I’ll do emotional support in a sec, I need to get random movie associations out the way first.

 
 

Approaching deadline for a Federal grant program means I’ve seen a bunch of applications at work. All of the applications have to include the following statement:

“ACORN Statement: [‘the applicant’], nor any of the partner institutions named or potentially involved in this proposed project are in any way affiliated with ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now).”

The Republicans must feel so proud. Osama bin Laden is still at large, and his bag-man AQ Kahn can travel freely, but ACORN ain’t gettin’ no kinda stimulus money.

 
 

Do You Have a Brilliant, Right Policy Idea?

This question feels like it is looking for the square root of -1

In other words, an imaginary idea.

 
 

Also, they might look up this religious conservative I’ve heard of who’s been developing non-verbal ways of shaping public opinion. His name is Bin Laden.

 
 

The world haggis hurling record is 180 feet, 10 inches. (1.5lb haggis)

I don’t think I could eat a pound and a half of haggis, but if I ever did I’m pretty sure I could then hurl it well over 200 feet.

 
 

their prime asset in life is their ability to manipulate words.

so, a guy who’s job is um words wrote this?

 
 

@ Stephen:

But then, Barone’s assumption that liberals aren’t really sincere in their arguments, goals, or methods, but are simply using them as manipulation tactics, is understandable – after all, that’s the conservative modus operandi. The idea that liberals might actually mean it when they say they’re okay with paying taxes for constructive (ie, non-bloated-military) purposes probably doesn’t even occur to him.

There was a pretty good discussion of this over at Balloon Juice yesterday regarding neoconservative attitudes about evolution and creationism.

 
 

If conservatives stop being stupid, I’ll stop calling them stupid. It’s really that simple.

To go on what Chris said about conservatives whining about class wars, they also seem to suffer from the self-esteem issues that they accuse liberals of. I’d say a third of conservative writings can be boiled down to “BAWWWWW Why won’t you respect and legitimize my stupid, ill-informed opinions? Yer BIIIIIIIASED!” And people believe them. Has any movement in history ever gotten more intellectual mulligans than modern American conservatism?

 
 

Do You Have a Brilliant, Right Policy Idea?

Well, yeah, but it’s kind of a Final Solution…

 
 

“Boob Bait of the educated classes” – we talking Janeane Garofalo here?

 
 

To Felonious Monk, I found this on another SadlyNo thread from a few years back;

“I love how these people seem to cringe in fear of nothing so much as being laughed at by smarter folks. It’s a vast insecurity/inferiority thing; an analog of the doughy, middle-aged, small-dicked, divorced, middle management man who buys a sports car. It’s the frustration of Cartman when his “authoritah” goes unrespected. They are power-fellating dog-kickers, so delusional that they’re not even wrong. They divide by zero and get an answer.”

Based on the conservatives I’ve met in real life as well as those I see on television trying to represent the “grassroots” (Sarah Palin), you and this guy were both onto something.

 
 

this explains all the edmund burke based ad campaigns for bud light and hummer h3!

 
 

So let me get this straight.

American leaders are supposed to be dumbasses, like the Heartland, except when they’re not (q.v. assertions of Dubya’s “brilliance” and “genius”). Also Democrats are ivory-tower intellectual eggheads unlike Republicans, which explains the total lack of right-wing think-tanks and their subsequent lack of influence over American politics.

And too also this is SO NOT about weasling around and trying to find a way to call the President an “uppity you-know-what” without actually coming out and doing so, which presumably is being saved for along about July 2012 or so.

 
 

Diana Moon Glampers 2012!

 
 

Sigh…as ashamed as I am to admit it, I can see where Kristol is coming from. Lots of people out there are just stupid, and letting them run the show will lead to lots of stupid decisions. I’d like this not to be true, but it is.

Thankfully, Kristol and I diverge fairly quickly. I think that such ignorance should be alleviated, or at least attempt to be alleviated, while Kristol gets his dick hard by thinking about keeping people stupid and using them like old dishrags. What a douche.

 
 

edmund burke based ad campaigns for bud light

All that is required for Miller to triumph…

 
 

Lemme see, who ran on a platform of “There ain’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties,” while complaining about “pointy-headed intellectuals w/o a lick of sense?”

George C. Wallace, that’s who!

 
 

Boy, you go to lunch for a few measly minutes, and somebody swipes Solomon Burke from ya.

 
 

“American leaders are supposed to be dumbasses, like the Heartland, except when they’re not (q.v. assertions of Dubya’s “brilliance” and “genius”). Also Democrats are ivory-tower intellectual eggheads unlike Republicans…”

Well see, there’s book-learnin’ and then there’s street smarts. But not “Urban” street smarts (*winkwink*) but good old fashioned “common sense.” This gives us the following excellent guidance:

o Global Warming is fake because it’s cold in the winter.
o Lowering taxes raises tax income because then more businesses start up so they can pay taxes.
o Allowing the fabulously rich to become ungodly rich will cause money to trickle down to the middle class.
o Allowing businesses to send their operations offshore makes cheap products available, which strengthens the middle class.
o America has the best healthcare system in the world because shut up, that’s why!

All that “data” and “evidence” is just ivory-tower liberals trying to confuse us.

 
 

All that “data” and “evidence” is just ivory-tower liberals trying to confuse us.

As a wise man once said, “Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat”.

 
 

the Earth is flat

just because you can’t see the angels moving the planets around that’s no reason to say mean things about ronald reagan

 
 

the Earth is flat

…and it’s turtles all the way down.

 
 

I just keep telling the teabaggers I’m not responsible for debating the voices in their heads. That usually gives me a good five seconds to escape.

 
 

snarkenfreude alert:

At the same time, Politico adds that some tea party activists are considering staging protests outside the National Tea Party Convention. “It would really look bad for tea parties to be out there protesting the tea party,” said former Tea Party Nation member Anthony Shreeve.

 
 

Holy crap, SMG!

It is time that you both, plus everyone else involved with the shafting of Americans via the Currency Coloring Game, openly admit that the underlying agenda(s) — is/are treasonous. Directly behind the dishonest manipulation of our currency is… Pastel Gradualism. Gradually people are eased in accepting colored currency like the rest of the world uses.

The insidious Pastel Gradualism!
I fully expect this to make it into theGOP platform, and for Joe Wilson to use it as a major issue in his next campaign.

 
 

Fabian Socialism. Creeping Progressivism. Now Pastel Gradualism.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Did somebody say boob bait?

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I am a pastel gradualist.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

The great thing about tea partiers is the instant its members form an actual Tea Party, they scatter like cockroaches, because they’re all compulsive paranoiacs that think any organization of any kind is inherently trying to screw them, even if it’s themselves running it.

Which is made even richer by the fact that they’re right — the organizers are trying to hijack the movement.

Hijack the movement — sounds like a scat video.

 
 

Aren’t these the very same people who not so long ago were criticizing Obama as a big dumb dummy who couldn’t talk without a teleprompter?

actually, they are still doing it. Clownhall was banging on about telepromtergate earlier (trust me, don’t go there..)

 
 

AND CHANGE THE MONEY BACK!!!

I bet this woman’s clit looks like someone jammed a Vienna sausage against a belt sander for a few minutes.

 
Consumer Unit 5012
 

“I have a co-worker who is a borderline Liberterian and global warming denier; his pet peeve is that all the educated talk to his ilk and the teabaggers like they’re stupid.”

I’ll freely admit that nobody likes being condescended to, but….

http://slacktivist.typepad.com/slacktivist/2010/01/stop-demanding-that-you-get-screwed.html

 
 

“The great thing about tea partiers is the instant its members form an actual Tea Party, they scatter like cockroaches, because they’re all compulsive paranoiacs that think any organization of any kind is inherently trying to screw them, even if it’s themselves running it.”

It comforts me that the teabaggers don’t have the capacity to form even a Ross Perot or George Wallace type of third party – but then, that was never their purpose. The purpose of the Tea Party movement was simply to manufacture a voice on the far, far right in order to scare the Republican Party into remaining true to its racist, xenophobic, free-market fundie principles.

We had Bush pass a stimulus package that quite a few Republicans voted for, and we were looking at a temporary shift of public confidence towards the left. The big money behind the GOP had to act quickly to preempt any possible shift towards the left, however slight, by the party. Now that the spectre of Republican moderation has been pretty well exorcised, the Tea Party has served its purpose; from here on in it’s nothing but infighting, chaos, and eventually a quiet return to the ranks of the GOP.

 
 

The truly insane part is that the average TownHall reader laps up (300+ comments) the Joe Average speech from the guy listed as
SCHOLARS & FELLOWS
Michael Barone
Resident Fellow

Who was educated at:

LL.B., Yale Law School
B.A., Harvard University

He shirley noes wheresome he speeches. Just arugula guy. With a hardscrabble life producing for his daily bread.

 
 

After all, their prime asset in life is their ability to manipulate words.

Yep. That’s me. My prime asset in life is my ability to manipulate words. Words on a computer screen that come together to form computer programs (“why are so many words misspelled? and what’s with all those semi-colons?”) that do things that scientists can use to, e.g., develop new drugs to make people feel better. Words that I teach to students to help them learn chemistry so they can become doctors, nurses, science teachers, engineers that build things, etc.

At least, even if I build it by manipulating words, I am doing something with my life that eventually might benefit some people, if only by teaching future engineers and lab techs that might actually produce useful technological and pharmaceutical products. What does the over-privileged over-class that the GOP roots for actually do?

After all, who builds the buildings? Galt? or even Roark (who manipulates words, in a manner of speaking)?

 
 

So they want interpretative dance? Animal noises?

 
Consumer Unit 5012
 

Poo-flinging.

 
 

So they want interpretative dance?

I think this is a family show.

 
 

(comments are closed)