Glen[n] thinks we should only get 3/5ths of a box.

PAT: I don’t know.

GLENN: For I mean, I don’t know, either.

PAT: I don’t know.

GLENN: I don’t know, either.

Then maybe you should just STFU

Give the man a Buffoon box and be done with it.

Must trust the Shorter… must trust the Shorter… must trust the Shorter…

Brilliant Photoshop, btw.

Ha, Botero! Now there’s a real trove for wingnut p-shops. Nice one.

BECK: …you lose the game when you decide that the best thing you can do is play the game with them. [i.e., by filling out the census] No. I’m going to stick to the Constitution.

mmm…

Constitution of the United States, Article 1, Section 2:
“The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.”

Black! Even Wesley Snipes is only coffee bean colored. What kind of racist organization is this. Damn PC leftists are trying to boil everyone down to their color.

Dear Glenn Beck viewers: Feel free not to fill out your census forms. Or your voter registration cards. Feel free not to file tax returns — chances are, the IRS will never even bother you, especially not if you are owed a refund.

Think of it as going Galt without the scurvy.

GLENN: I do not want them gathering information about people. The best way to gather information, if somebody wants to build a road, if somebody needs a new building, you have the town, you have the state collect that information if need. The best way to do it is let the private individuals do it. I do not want a giant depository of information that will be used by Washington politics to direct their special interest money. No. No.

Yes, every 10 years let the market decide! Also, bring back tax farming, also and.

Wingnut can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed. At room temperature, Wingnut is in the form of a gas.

Staying in the boat. Dipshit’s not worth the click.

You know, even if the government actually has the fabled massive database of everything I’ve said and done in the last ten years, I figure they still have less information on me than do assorted private industries with which I have to deal. For God’s sake, Safeway alone undoubtedly has more information on the fake name I used to get my frequent shopper card than the government will ever acquire through a census form.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Glenn Beck isn’t paranoid, he’s just pretending. You shut up about the census and stop beaming your image around the globe if you’re actually paranoid.

Black! Even Wesley Snipes is only coffee bean colored.

Italian roast or Freedom roast?

An African American is a bogus PC made up

goddamn those evil liberals and their infuriating plot to make me polite and think about other people’s feelings! god damn them!

this is almost as bad as when mommie made me put the panties back!

I hear that if they put your head in a cage with hungry rats in it, you’ll be able to see 4 or 5 boxes.

Glenn Beck isn’t paranoid, he’s just pretending. You shut up about the census and stop beaming your image around the globe if you’re actually paranoid.

But he’s selling it, so he’ll keep talking and beaming so long as there’s a market for his junk.

I didn’t trust the shorter, and if I had I would have missed Glenn’s totally not made up and really scary encounter with a mysterious man who told him to FILL OUT HIS CENSUS.

And Congress attacks people who don’t use the right term for brown people*. Also.

*Which we change every few years on purpose just so Congress will attack unsuspecting Caucasians. Bwahaha.

Is Charlize Theron an African-American?

That sounds like a question that can only be answered after a very thorough investigation. I’ll volunteer for this task, it’s a dirty job (hopefully) and I’m the right Dragon-King to do her it.

caucasians back to caucasia!

The fact that some Jamaican immigrants don’t consider themselves to be African-American proves that African-Americans don’t exist.

OK so I’m part Italian, guess that’s White–wait isn’t that PC for EuroCaucasian Cracker MF??–and part Puerto Rican–what box do I check for that, “some other race’??, where the heck is the Hispanic box???–and part “Negro” (whoa how did that get on there? so much for PC!!!) Damn, it would sure save time if they just had a “Colored” box for mutts like me, don’t you think?

Dipshit’s not worth the click.

Man, that applies to whole range of life situations!

The fact is, shut up. The Census is nowhere in the constitution, the founders would never have sold out our freedoms like that. Blacks are lazy and poor so I am all for them getting less representation than real Americans.

chimpevil, latinos are in question 8. I don’t know how you do it if you’re mixed though. As a fellow mutt, I swear to God if it weren’t for that National Geographic ancestry thing I’d have no fucking clue how to fill all this out.

Brilliant p-shop, Tinitin. A lesser snarkist would’ve done the obvious thing by putting Limbaugh’s fat mug in a Botero, instead of Beck’s smirk. Kudos.

Incidentally, I eagerly await the Sadly Proprietors kneecapping of Doughpants latest, wherein he suggests that the Republicans emulate Domino’s.

I confess I had to get out of the boat on that one, but he does indeed go on at length about the lessons to be learned from the crappiest delivery pizza in the country.

That sounds like a question that can only be answered after a very thorough investigation. I’ll volunteer for this task, it’s a dirty job (hopefully) and I’m the right Dragon-King to do her it.

How can you conduct a proper investigation without a control group for comparison? No, I think I had better take over this investigation. I’ll need Scarlett Johansen and Halle Berry too.

I don’t see a box for “moldy greenish-hued”

after a very thorough investigation

A long, repeated investigation. Over and over and over….

Constitution of the United States, Article 1, Section 2:
“…

in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.”

I saw what you did there with your Constitutionalizin’ self, Peds.

How many boxes does it take to count Mississippi-Americans? Them’s a lotta letters right thar.

Saudis fire 1400 rockets into Yemen

http://joshfulton.blogspot.com/2010/01/saudis-fire-1400-rockets-into-yemen.html

Since the census is used to apportion seats in the House, I am all for as many conservatives as possible opting out of being counted. If Texas and Utah, etc. end up losing seats to California and New York, I will be very pleased, indeed.

I may actually end up doing census taking work here in Western MA. I just took the test (and was the only person that showed up for it in the small town next door). The guy who administered the test told me that some people refuse to answer even if they know that federal and state money for roads, water projects, schools, etc (not to mention representation) are calculated via census data.

The census screens applicants to some degree, I think felons are pretty much out but law enforcement types are completely out (I’m neither).

But yeah, I hope in some of these redder areas there are losses of congressional seats (note how Michelle Bachman is not so anti-census now that she realizes that the district most likely to be lost in Minnesota is her own).

Oh, and I was informed that Zombie-Americans are to be counted with both respect and a clear path of retreat. So there’s that.

A considerate and well-reasoned strategy, Looch. Admittedly, some of my fellow Resurrecto-Americans tend to bite first, ask questions later. Although some of us are of the opinion that these tend to be from Red States.

Admittedly, some of my fellow Resurrecto-Americans tend to bite first, ask questions later.

The Census Bureau asks that they “answer questions first” actually. I was told in the Red States census workers will be carrying cauliflower as a diversion. Not effective in all parts of the country, of course.

The fact that 10 out of 28 questions correct on the test constitutes a “passing” grade may also means that a number of census-takers will in fact be physiologically immune from any brane NOM NOM NOM. Or so I am told by experienced Census officials.

Incidentally, I eagerly await the Sadly Proprietors kneecapping of Doughpants latest, wherein he suggests that the Republicans emulate Domino’s.

Let’s see. An organization that turns out large quantities of a shitty product and is run by a far-right religious extremist demagogue?

I’d say that the GOP is already emulating Domino’s.

“mean”
or not “may”

Pick ’em.

The GØP would have to admit that they were selling crap, were they to emulate Domino’s. Ain’t gonna happen.

Jesus Christ, I thought the bigot who snarls “Afro-Americans or whatever they call themselves…” was some over-the-top caricature. You just can’t keep up with reality.

Maybe the form only has one box instead of three boxes, but there are three terms next to the box, or rather three words and an abbreviation, or actually an abbreviation and four complete words if you include ‘or’, which means that Negroes have been given more words than anybody else on the form except redskins and Asiaticians, all of which proves that Obama is stealing words from white people.

And what if you’re an African-American Albino, THEN what box do you check?

Is Charlize Theron an African-American?

I think she’s a British MRF.

I love it when right wingers say something they don’t like is a “made up term” (see also Ms. Carrie Prejean regarding ‘homophobia’). Where do they think words come from?

I’m miffed there aren’t more descriptors for White. I think of myself as speckled Celtic, Sean Hannity as hypertensive flushy, and Beck as aryan-albino.

But really now, he _has_learned. He’s learned that stoopid fucks lap this shit up. And they pay.

Actually that form seems to be indicating that you can check as many boxes as apply. So, you know, all us blends can be as persnickety as we have time for.

Thanks gee to beezus it doesn’t ask us to *quantify*…

At the top of the form. The instructions clearly state:

Mark one or more boxes.

I see this as wonderful chance to protest the continued ignorant use of the word ‘race’ in regard to someone’s skin color or cultural background.

I’m fucking marking them all.

heh

Here is a person of some interest to me, expressing his thoughts on census-taking.
http://www.counterpunch.org/tripp0910.html
I mention it in the interest of full disclosure. And diapers, also. Too.

The census part is a footnote, really. It’s just that these winter nights are so lonely. Has anybody made a joke about checking Glenn Beck’s box yet?

Has anybody made a joke about checking Glenn Beck’s box yet?

Eew.

EEW.

EEWEEWEEW.

Has anybody made a joke about checking Glenn Beck’s box yet?

No. But J- seems to think that people are interested in his junk.

But he’s selling it, so he’ll keep talking and beaming so long as there’s a market for his junk.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Admittedly, some of my fellow Resurrecto-Americans tend to bite first, ask questions later.

oh, fer gawdsake, I just got used to saying ‘necros’!

When the census went from a head of family name and household head count to listing names, ages, relationships, occupations, etc, it got a LOT more useful for genealogical research. I doubt the government really gives half a crap about this personal info, but your great grandkids might.

I love it when right wingers say something they don’t like is a “made up term” (see also Ms. Carrie Prejean regarding ‘homophobia’). Where do they think words come from?

Paula: Words come from the left, the party that reads. We make them up on long nights in smoky bar-rooms, planning the gay/black/femi-nazi revolution.

Inventing words is phase one.

And, I could only make it half way through the Beck/Pat dialogue. How many times did they actually say ‘I don’t know’? Because more than likely this is a wingnut record.

Most often they just make up shit when they don’t know.

We make the words, they make the shit.

Wait a minute … I don’t see a box for me on the form. Where is the “pink-skinned Jew-boy with lots of freckles and red colored fur all over his body” box? I know some people with white skin … my skin is hardly white, it’s more of a carnation color.

I guess my daughter can just check off all the boxes though and not even look: she is the biological child of a German/Italian ancestered mother and an Afro-Hispanic father adopted by an African-American (with some Native American ancestry as well) Jewish mother and a European-American Jewish father (who might have some gypsy ancestry).

Yep, I read the first few moments worth of incomprehensible gibberish and professed ignorance and decided life’s too short, y’know?

How in the world Benn Gleck has any job at all, much less the audience he has, is beyond me.

Scott Brown is ahead in Massachusetts. If Brown can overcome the Democrat fraud that allowed Obama to steal the Presidency, he will destroy Obamacare forever.

The fact is that Dems are losing both chambers in 2010. No doubt about it.

Obama’s goons are too busy skiing to stop terrorists. In fact it can be said that the Obama administration has helped terrorists. We’ve had more domestic terrorist attacks in a year of Obama than in 8 years of Bush.

If things go as I predict, Dems will probably get Obama out of their way in 2012, because Obama will fail when Republicans take over Congress and Obama will lose in 2012.

We’ve had more domestic terrorist attacks in a year of Obama than in 8 years of Bush.

Considering the definition of “domestic terrorist,” I would agree wholeheartedly with this statement, and add that it says volumes about your side.

I mean, more attacks in America.

We’ve had Obama’s fellow muslim attacking recruiters in AR and the Fort Hood attack. We had Obama’s fellow Muslim trying to murder thousands on Christmas day.

When it comes down to it, people were angered by Dems and by Bush’s liberal drift. And they’re still angry because they want a government that symbolizes American values.

As for Massachusetts, Scott Brown = vote 41 = the end of Obamacare.

And when it comes down to it, Obama has accumulated trillions of dollars in debt, and it’s time to hit the breaks before America’s first foreign-born president destroys this nation and empowers our enemies.

Obama has done more to destroy America in 1 year than Osama has done in 20 years.

The fact is that Dems are losing both chambers in 2010. No doubt about it

Bookmarked..

We’ve had more domestic terrorist attacks in a year of Obama than in 8 years of Bush.

I call fake Gary!

here’s a new Dash Board, for those of you who care.

What a fine-looking young fellow!

Nah, the House could just pass the exact bill the Senate just passed and Obama could sign the damn thing. Be better if the thing can still go through reconciliation, but it isn’t required.

The fact is, attacks on evil gay homosexual Joo York do not count as attacks on Amurika, but they also Changed Everything also.

I know it’s been a few weeks, but here’s a new Dash Board, for those of you who care.
“You will obey Hypno-Boy.”

mighty all-american boy hero Dash Board to the rescue, accompanied by
his faithful dog Browser

GLENN: Where was Kofi Annan from? He’s black, right, Kofi Annan?

GLENN: He is not an African American.

Uh…. yeah. Kofi Annan is black and he’s from Africa but he is not AMERICAN. At all. He is, was and probably always shall be a citizen of an African nation (Ghana I believe, without googling it). Jesus the stupid burns.

Only to wingnuts retards would the equation “working for United Nations” equal “is an American citizen”.

There be a BOOBIE reference in that there P-shop. At first I wasn’t sure I was seeing it right cos, you know, they come in pairs. Of course then I realized there is a pair there–the other boob is holding the spoon.

I am going to draw a new box on the census form and write in “Glabrous American”.

Also, the fact is, Tr00fie really shouldn’t nymjack Gary Ruppert. Tr00fie’s not fit to wipe Gary’s ass- bookmark it!

I am going to draw a new box on the census form and write in “Glabrous American”.

Happily, there’s already a write-in box for people who wish to screw with the Census Bureau — and, I guess, for Antarctican Americans.

“Dash Board”

Looks like he just had his first wet willie.

Glenn Beck: “But what I’m asking is what are the clinical categories.”

You know, I seem to recall another person who was really concerned with clinical categories…

Perhaps all ya’ll had this discussion before, but I do have to raise a complaint.

I am sorry, there are some words that, even when used carefully…uh shouldn’t be used. You debase yourself, I believe, by using that word so casually.

Further, its an over-simplification anyway. For Beck (and especially for that loser in France counting locals, where you used the same word) it is not even purely about race now that the whole Muslim terrorist fear has hit the incumbent mistrust and fear of blacks. Dark skin is good enough, and neither of those stooges will be interested in any more detailed information anyway.

You make your weblog a little less attractive and inviting by doing that. I know your point, and generally agree. But there has to be another way. If Beck won’t use the word openly, you will for him? Why would you do that?

Anyone have any idea why no one ever complains when I use the word “fag”?

@Rhodo Zeb:At times Beck speaks in code. Here at Sadly, No! we translate codewords into plain Fnglish.

Beck’s (sneering and winking) attempts to cover his racism are infinitely more offensive than S,N! calling him out on it. White people can say “n-word” to each other all day without anyone getting uncomfortable, and if everyone is comfortable when race is being talked about, it’s not really being talked about.

why doesnt he just come out and say “I hate niggers”and be done with it. Its this pussyfooting around the issue from Beck and his buddiesthat is so irksome…

Must agree with Pauly. The point of Freedom of Speech is to make people uncomfortable, because uncomfortable people might actually get off their duffs and do something.

Regardless of your color, If the n-word doesn’t make you uncomfortable, you are doing it wrong.

tigrismus: “…I doubt the government really gives half a crap about this personal info, but your great grandkids might.”

Truly. Because of the U.S. Government’s suspicious and no doubt nefarious information gathering and scanning of thousands of immigration documents, providing a searchable database via the Ellis Island Foundation, I was able to see pix of the actual pen-and-ink documents showing that my grandpa, his mom, and his siblings arrived on June 30, 1909. He was a nice man. He’s long gone, but it was cool to know that last year was the 100th anniversary of his setting foot in the New World.

Dr. Psycho, re census non-compliance: “…Think of it as going Galt without the scurvy.” Hah.

Lastly, I am a pinkish-oatmeal colored American.

here’s a new Dash Board, for those of you who care.

I care enough to suggest these. They’re even on sale!

Obviously words come from the King James Bible.

This is why the right-wing is always so upset with immigrants, because they’re just *making up words* all over the place that don’t make any sense. I mean, “habla espanol”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean!

Where’s the box for “pale blue Scotsman”?

Anyone have any idea why no one ever complains when I use the word “fag”?

Being both an “f” and and an “n”, as well as a “pr” and a “d”–as in that lovely word for I-talian– (wait how many strikes do I get I forget?) I would say the hate words are cool when we sling ’em at each other, like in mock defiance and such (though I would say “queer” is the more acceptable co-opted term for us gaybos.) Oh but also too what about the “b” word? I mean I would call you that, Tintin, (maybe cause you are and don’t deny it baby, your p-shops alone are evidence enough) but I would never think of saying it in reference to a (biological) woman. Now the “c” word, well that’s a whole nother ballgame.

Outside of an albino, I have never met a white person. Inside of an albino, it is to dark to see.

”
Admittedly, some of my fellow Resurrecto-Americans tend to bite first, ask questions later.

oh, fer gawdsake, I just got used to saying ‘necros’!

Oh man, I’ve been calling them “the metaphysically challenged”. I hope I haven’t been offending…

I believe the correct term is “mortality deficient Americans”

There was some discussion a bit back in time that seemed to center on the phrase “non pulmonary” or some such.

“Inareobic?”

Or is that a trigger?

I’m utterly and completely Whitey McWhiteboy, except for a great-great-great grandmother from Brazil. But she was also a Jew. So I consider myself one-quarter Cherokee.

wow i’d be embarassed to be a patriots fan right now

Being a stillers fan I despise the ravens evermore so than the pats (tho not by a lot.) That being said don’t count out the pats, ever. . .

Obviously words come from the King James Bible.

The expression, “the King’s English” actually refers to the language of Christ, not that of the monarch of England. These day’s you will also sometimes hear “the Queen’s English,” which is a sly reference to our Lord’s affection for St. John.

True fact.

You guys are lucky. The shadow government’s census form has so many check boxes.

And they still only have two types of reptons represented, which isn’t fair to the blues.

“The fact that 10 out of 28 questions correct on the test constitutes a “passing” grade may also means that a number of census-takers will in fact be physiologically immune from any brane NOM NOM NOM. Or so I am told by experienced Census officials.”

Maybe in times past, but not these days, at least here in ye olde Bay Area. I did two Census jobs last year and I’m gearing up for the next phase in three weeks. I’ve worked alongside attorneys, doctors, teachers, and other assorted professionals, all out of work and all happy to be doing the Census for twenty bucks an hour plus mileage.

I think the problem is in the comprehension side of the equation, here. Beck cannot actually understand what the census is or how to fill it in.
IT”S A CRY FOR HELP, PEOPLE!!!

Ok, thanks all for not beating up on me.

Maybe I can fall back on the argument that it doesn’t need to be quite there in one’s face.

So, I could make the same point in different ways, utilizing very different language, and still make my point well-understood. But that argument makes me look like an uptight, old prude.

As for me, how come its not mixed-race if you can count Ireland, Scot, French, Wales and a couple more ‘races’ in you? Plus, millions (?) of light skinned slaves ‘passed’ back in the day, and no one is ever supposed to talk about that…

Looch:

Being not only a Negro but also Transylvanian I strongly object to your use of the
word “trigger”.

Words can hurt, people.

Maybe in times past, but not these days, at least here in ye olde Bay Area.

Fair enough. I suspect a lot of folks (like, *cough* me) are jumping at Census work because there are very few other options out there. It is quite common that local jobs are getting more than 100 applicants out here in Western MA. I applied for one that had 400 (from across the country). At this point, I would be very happy with Census work.

Rhodo Zeb, I am an uptight old prude myself, but not so much when I visit here. It’s kind of like how you can dress differently for every party, without necessarily selling your soul. (You could compromise yourself, if you dressed up in a Playboy Bunny suit and worked a Playboy party, for any other reason that to beat up a Playboy, or kidnap one and hold him for ransom. In my opinion.)

As for the racial self-identity thing, I think we have to remember that it’s the census. They have to establish categories, and however they adjust the language, it’s inevitably arbitrary. It provides a rough idea of who lives where, for some very specific administrative purposes. I can check a box on the census form while knowing that it doesn’t really describe me.

But everybody gets to complain about it, because (a) we just do and (b) that’s how we evolve. And it’s fun, also.

Trigger. Hee. Don’t blame words. Words don’t hurt people; people hurt people.

I’m totally putting myself down as a Chiropteran-American this time around.

THERE. ARE. FOUR. LIGHTS!!!

Glenn’s just upset that there’s not a checkbox for “Adipose Recto-American”. He’s sick of America ignoring the contributions he and his fellow Fat Assholes have brought to our fine nation.