Twitter Down The Ages

So it turns out we had some readers who thought it was uncool to criticize Tila Tequila for tweeting her grief at the loss of her partner. Anyway, it got me thinking what other famous people might have tweeted in similar circumstances, if Twitter, like the poor, had always been with us.

First up, a slain civil rights hero:

Next, the Passion of the Tweet:

Finally, the obligatory Godwinning of the entire discussion:

Too soon? In the Twitter Era it is probably already too late.

 

Comments: 173

 
 
 

somebody remind me again why terrorists think that somebody from outside this country would be needed to destroy it?

 
 

Is that “Deutscheland forever”, or “Deutscheland for Eva”?

 
 

Is that “Deutscheland forever”, or “Deutscheland for Eva”?

The great writers cannot help but write great. Er, 4 GREAT JUSTICE.

 
 

This is just sick. Kudos!

 
 

Needs more Mary Todd and Jackie Bouvier to make it complete.

 
 

way 2 deminize the Other mr 2 foriners and mrs king

 
 

@Caesar OMFG et2 Bts?

 
 

@Anastasia Betr ded then red. Nicky & Sunny rulz!!!

 
 

Next you’re going to tell us that Paul McCartney thought that John Lennon’s murder was a drag.

 
 

It’s the anime avatar that really sells the last one.

 
 

Y’know, potential old person fail on my part, but isn’t the formatting above an old person fail on DA’s part?

What are @Replies?

An @reply is a public message sent from one person to another, distinguished from normal updates by the @username prefix. If a message begins with @username, we collect it as a reply. Reply publicly to any update on Twitter by using the @username format. Following is not necessary to reply to someone, and all of your replies are visible in the @username tab in your home page sidebar. (Tweets with @username elsewhere in the tweet are also collected in your sidebar tab; tweets starting with @username are replies, and tweets with @username elsewhere are considered mentions.) Please note that if your account is private, users who are not following you will not see your @replies or mentions.

 
 

OK, that’s hilarious!

 
 

By the way, this week’s Lester & Charlie poll is still open:

What did YOU learn from the last miserable ten years that we call a decade?

http://bit.ly/llPZg

 
 

Lester & Charlie poll

@tacvolt how cn U xpekt me to chooz btw Pres & Bird??!11??

 
 

Someday, I’ll be witty enough to hang with you guys. You’re on a level so high most people can’t even see it.

Since I’m here, Isaac Newton tweets:

OMG! An apple fell on my head! It hurt.

Mass times velocity… OMG!

I’ll have to finish this later, “Jersey Shore” is on.

 
 

This is even better than Dentistry Is Theft.

DAYUM.

 
 

This is even better than Dentistry Is Theft.

@orlyttz tooth certificate?

 
 

You know who was Hitler? Hitler!

 
 

I would like to see Twitter Down the Ages as a regular feature mocking attention whoring.

Tequila whatsername is a douchebag, grieving or not.

 
 

@AlexanderHamilton

Lol @ Burr, wut a fukken pussy. Im gng 2 chalng him 2 a d00l! well c whos futur of Fed Party now, fgt! LOL

 
 

Shut the fuck up. Brilliant. I guess the only option when you’re called out for being tacky is to slog on through until you KNOW you’re being tacky.
That’s called funny.

 
Northern Observer
 

And loo a new comedic form is birthed, The Twitonette.

Is this not the best address on the whole inter tubes or what.

 
 

And loo a new comedic form is birthed, The Twitonette.

Those have been around for years, but most people get the strings all tangled.

 
 

The following shit made my life:

STFU with the weeping and the whaling WE r ALL SAD 2 BITCH

 
 

STFU with the weeping and the whaling WE r ALL SAD 2 BITCH

Well it does seem inappropriate to break out the harpoons.

 
 

My god, D, the stark contrast you draw between Tila Tequila and Coretta Scott King show that you weren’t really being an ass by telling someone else how to react when a love one dies.

And here I thought it’d be a silly place to put your foot down. I had not realize that TT wasn’t a civil rights leader.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

I *still* don’t know who Tila Tequila is. But the Passion of the Tweet is the funniest fucking twit ever twatted.

 
 

Well it does seem inappropriate to break out the harpoons.

I don’t know. Did you get a look at MM? Nuke it from orbit 111!!!

 
 

Also, Apr 3, 33 makes me giggle.

 
 

NplnBnprt: off 2 wtrloo 2. 7th coalishun aint shit.

NplnBnprt: @DukeWellington haha more like dookie wellington, stupid fgt. Go hump earl fuxbridge.

NplnBnprt: Anyone know good plc 2 eat in Brusselz? Yelp is useless.

NplnBnprt: Damn this ground is wet. Gonna wait few days to fight. PS fuck prussia

NplnBnprt: @DukeWellington is that all you brought, loser? doesn’t look like you have anyone behind that hill. LOL

NplnBnprt: lol Ney sez @DukeWellington center is retreating. French Empire in da hizza!

NplnBnprt: Squares? WTF. Brits are buncha homos.

NplnBnprt: OMFG FLANK!11!

NplnBnprt: Imperial Guard whatwhat un-da-fffeeeted

NplnBnprt: yeah, so, um …

NplnBnprt: @DukeWellington Sorry I said that about your moms, old chap

NplnBnprt: Treaty of Paris anyone?

 
The Goddamn Batman Is Positive That Alfred Tweets About Him Constantly When He's Out Fighting The Crime
 

Nice parodies, but you missed an opportunity to have Mary M. comforted by Peter. Because, you know. Peter. Get it? Tee hee?

yep, I’ma going ta hell on a donkey cart, or should I say on my ass?

 
 

Awesome bad taste, DA. I am not worthy!

 
 

Wow. Impossible to top. “I swear i thought this was performance art!” – O-M-G.

 
 

Man, D, you are such an old.

 
 

@Genghis
Plan 4 2nite: F#%* sum bitchzz, overrun West Asia, F(@# moar bitchzz. Holy Shit I luv my life.

 
 

S0kr8s on triL, kruptin uth? na u krupt. Ath3nz aint shit
S0kr8s triL sux, gettin drinx wit Ath3nz boyz
S0kr8s so buzzd bros
S0kr8s OMZ, h3mlx? xP

 
 

I’m just a wind sculpted pattern only visible if the photo is fuzzy.

But I have feelings !!!

LOL.

 
 

“I usta be disgusted, now I’m just amused, now that angels wanna wear my red shoes!” At first, I thought the use of twitter for self-agrandizement was sick. My fascination with weirdness overwhelmed the revulsion, though. I am definitely down with the sickness, from here on out!

 
 

Looks like Pulitzer material to me.

 
 

LOL injuns. brb.

 
 

Yelp is useless.

win

 
 

@ElvisTupelo:

Corn?

 
 

@GeorgeSanders:

I’m way bored 🙁 Outta here now heh

 
hells littlest angel
 

Thank you. I will laugh for the rest of the day over this.

 
 

Zelloid: @ChrisMatthews… i wish we livd in dayz u cud chalnj man 2 dual

 
 

@DBroder Clintonz wreckup hometown w/2xD traler trsh wtf I sad ;-(

 
 

neener neener u nevar gon find me

 
 

I haz sadz. MaB I build her a house ne way

 
 

Twit Ter SPARTA!!!!!!

 
 

Godwin manga tweets needz tentacle-sex avatart.

 
 

guess whos my l8est new follower its @yourmom

@yourmom i surprised u started twiting. can’t imagine u keeping under 140 charcters

holymoly @yourmom u gots moar followers than aplusk

 
 

**Golf Clap**

Nice work, DA. That’s the Sadly, No mojo.

Also imagined, a happy story…

@PresKennedy: WTF? Fdl has nukes? @NikitaK/ waht up, asshole?

@PresKennedy: @LeMay/ Drct order, ok, lose the stffy.

@PresKennedy: @Adlai/ Pls dnt forget teh pics. on flickr a/c, tagged w/ pwned_bicthez.

@PresKennedy: @NikitaK/ Ha ha, yr boats got no sack1!! LOL

@PresKennedy: @NikitaK/ HA EPIC FAIL. @Zorin got pnchd by a hippie. Bwahaha. On teevee. ROTWHFLMAO

@PresKennedy: @RFK_indahouse/ Fdl still got nukes, @LeMay still crazy, pls go to Plan B.

@PresKennedy: Ps @RFK_indahouse/ need moar skirt. Thx. Peace bro.

 
 

A new Internet Tradition is borned?

GACuster FTW. Cracked me up, it did.

 
 

This is comedic gold. No shark jumping here.

 
Pastor Niemoller
 

O crap now there comin for twitter.

 
 

Sadly, you are all low information voters who nominated and voted for Obama believing he would change the world. If you were highly informed like I am, you would have supported Hillary and we would not be in the horrible mess we are in. Sometimes I beleive the low information voters should not be allowed to vote, there should be a test.

 
 

Who would have guessed that the Fuhrer was a fan of Fruits Basket.

 
 

Totally without taste and supremely hilarious.

Our view of historical figures so often makes them look noble, or inspired that we forget that there were as human and shallow as anyone else.

Even the Pope has to go to the crapper once a day.

 
 

Hi ppl sry for the bleg / RT @thealamo we in deep shit. send $ call yr cgrsmn. Thx #shamnesty

 
 

mimi

You’re a few notes off key, dodo.

 
 

Someone’s not in the twitmas spirit.

 
 

Even the Pope has to go to the crapper once a day.

BenedictRatzo: Today’s consultation with #porcelaingod posted on http://www.papalbullshit.org

 
 

@s/n **golf clap** inna h0le!!!1!!

 
 

Sometimes I beleive the low information voters should not be allowed to vote, there should be a test.

For you, dearie, a reading comprehension section might be a bit difficult, no?

 
 

Hey, I might soften my stance on Twitter if someone develops multiplayer #OregonTrail

OregonTrail: @LauraIngallsWilder has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
OregonTrail: @dkwangchuck has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
OregonTrail: @uberPWNage337 has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
OregonTrail: @yourmom has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY @uberPWNage337 trades for 8957 bullets.
OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY @LauraIngallsWilder trades for 3 bottles of wine.
OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY @yourmom is pregnant.
dkwangchuck: Whut??!!? I thought @yourmom was on the pill
OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY You cross the Missippi. @LauraIngallsWilder has malaria.
OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY You discover a friendly tribe. @yourmom has syphilis
OregonTrail: @LauraIngallsWilder has left #OregonTrailA32YY
dkwangchuck: @LauraIngallsWilder Fuck you Melissa Ellen Gilbert. We’ll finish #OregonTrailA32YY without your malaria stricken ass.

 
 

@MaryMagadalene U no who else got naled? Ur mom LOL!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

@MaryToodLincoln Othr thn tht, how wuz plai?

 
 

@TimmehRussert WTF? @DGregory make u luke like tuff quesshunner LOL!

 
 

The phrase “Tweeting grief” should not exist in this or any other language. Not even as a band name.

 
 

@OurPop Who art n heven. Hollo be ur name.

 
 

Holy fucking shit … I’m hemorrhaging from laughing so damn hard. Just what I needed before the next blizzard hits town.

This has so much goddamn potential it should be illegal. Wish I didn’t have so much work to do today — but can’t wait to read all the fauxtweets later.

::much applause::

 
 

@Steerpike Thas jus rong.

 
 

Day 1: Lighting system installed. BRB.
Days 2-6: Some assembly required: sky, plants, cows, people. Left humans in charge, LOL. Day 7: Siesta

 
 

Now I really won’t get any dissertation work done today because I’ll be trying to think of how the folks I’m writing about would use Twitter….

 
 

@Pontiuspilate. u thnk it wld be better to save barrabas can i ask u to consdr alterntv. Thx

 
 

@Linnaeus U wan call it what? 2 long! Call it ‘rose’ #names

 
 

@Ceasar mt with that tosser Brutus tdy, hope hes in a decent mood, surly fucker
@Ceasar fuck me, he s got a knife, WTF………………
@Ceasar u bastard

 
 

RT @pontiuspilate @Herod Hey, he’s ur prob, not mine!

 
 

This form has actually been mined for comedy (including anime avatars) since long before Twitter. Do read this version of Akira – you owe it to your mother.

 
 

Hamlet: 2BRNOT2B?

 
 

@DKW Dont harsh my melo, kthxbai!

 
Lurking Canadian
 

I can’t decide if I prefer “don’t burn shit down @stokelycarmichael” or “WE r ALL SAD 2 BITCH”, but that was awesome. I agree, this should be a regular feature.

 
 

RT @pontiuspilate. dnt blame me. god fckd a virgn how cld i stop that?

 
 

@Linnaeus U wan call it what? 2 long! Call it ‘rose’ #names

Okay, that’s funny. If it weren’t still too early in the morning, I’d have a snappy reply.

 
 

RT @Herod U no who else wuz a virgn? LOL!

 
 

RT @pontiuspilate. hitler?

 
 

RT @FrankSinatra @NancyReagan Old bastrd shot. Cum. Quik!

 
 

RT @Herod LOL!!!11!!! Gud wun!

 
 

@Newton Fuck @Leibniz I invntd calcls 1st

 
 

RT @Newton @JohnWallis LIAR! LOL!

 
 

@rosemry: eraz tayp 18 mins cud incrimin8!

 
 

Dont harsh my melo, kthxbai!

@actor212 chillpill jus ponting out that is a classics.

 
 

@gnrl staff:hld tnks. Pa d calay r33l invashun. Nrmndy LOL

 
 

Altho, Twitterese Thumbnail Akira would be pretty awesome.

Tetsuo: @Kaneda KANEDA!
Kaneda: @ Tetsuo TETSUOOOOO!!!
Tetsuo: @Kaneda KANEEEEEDAAAA!!!! #Kaneda

 
 

@John John!

@Mary Mary!

@John @Mary Wud u 2 get a fking ROOM, areddy!

 
 

Sociealism in marx Muslim style will leed 2 murders global of womb babees n homo nups 4 all.

 
 

@MarkDavidChapman U luk nothin like me, boy-o

 
 

@ChasDarwin: Finchs in #galapagos rly spclizd need 2 rd @Lyell agin

 
 

@MarkDavidChapman @JodieFoster called. She wants her panties back. LOL!

 
 

Thing about Twitter is that it’s not preventing anyone from writing well. The perceived drop in literacy from the popularity of text messages, chat rooms, blogs, and social networking sites is an illusion. The end result of all of these telecommunication advances has been and is going to be improved overall literacy. The development of shorthand is a sign of increased literacy, not degeneration!

Loud, public displays of bereavement are an American tradition. The British have always thought us to be kind of undignified about death, and that was part of the controversy after Diana died. I don’t find it particularly surprising that (a) an American (b) who is famous (c) who has no other real purpose in life than to be famous would tweet about that. It’s certainly not evidence of some kind of cultural dissolution, as the olds would have it.

After all, even you can sext, D.

 
 

@honestabe @usgrant this play is a real knee slapper

@honestabe @usgrant laurakeene fap fap fap

@honestabe @usgrant why here is that @sicsempertyrannus fellow JW Boothe probably to pay his resp

 
 

@Itasca We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.

 
 

WTF Hal? Open the pod bay doors mofo

Hal9000 @Dave — Srry, can’t do that Dave, kthxbye.

 
 

@MarieA canhaz cake? kthxb…………….

 
CTaylorAstronaut
 

@CornyChimp U maniax! U blue up Stat of Lib! Dam u al 2 Hell!

 
 

@jjmiller @jwhale syn 4 trane? need 4 buk
@jwhale @jjmiller y not mech cyclopz?
@jjmiller @jwhale u roXx0r! kthxbai

 
 

@RbtELee: Union keeps chngng gnrls @Meade won’t do shit lol #gettysburg #armyofnNthnVa

 
 

Wtsn cme hre I wnt 2CU

 
 

Snd moar chuk bery

 
 

@TsarNick #Rasputin stabbed. Ded. LOL!

@Guseva Idiot! Takes man to do man’s werk!

@Yusupov #Rasputin Let him eat cakes

@TsarNick #Rasputin ate five. Shud be nuff

@Yusupov Shoot #Rasputin jst 2 b shur

@TsarNick K, done.

@TsarNick 4got coat #Rasputin choked me. Shot 3 moar times. LOL!

@TsarNick #Rasputin fukhed wont die! Gone clubbin

@TsarNick cut #Rasputin penis off. Make nice present for Mrs. In carpet. In river Neva

@Yusupov Sure?

@TsarNick OMFG! #Rasputin lived! But thn he dyd unner ice

 
 

@CornyChimp U maniax! U blue up Stat of Lib! Dam u al 2 Hell!

FTW!

 
 

who pt ornge juz n my ornge juz? SuX!11!!!

 
 

@AlexGBell: lol I invented phone @TAEdison Wtsn cme hre I wnt 2CU

 
 

@judgecrater brb

 
 

@Bambi Mom ded. Ur on ur own, kid. Sux 2 b u! LOL!

 
 

@Republicans Wetsuit. Do! Not! Want!

 
 

@JoeWillie SB3 iz gona b mine! u herd it here 1st!

 
 

If WW 2 had been an MMORTS – yeah, it’s old’n stuff but still 🙂 :

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

 
 

@JimmyMads It’s about militias! Whut moran would b cnfused by #2nd Am?

 
 

@CmdrGuy

Ha! Stpd Libs sd invdd rng cntry!

 
 

@Libs Bookmark it!

 
 

Ole said,

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

 
 

@Libs The fact is

 
 

@Libs Republican supermajority 2010 #bookmark it

 
 

In the same vein: WW2 as RTS

 
 

Dammit, scooped!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

@tailgunner hv u no sns dcency @ lng last lol

 
 

you owe me a new keyboard as I just blorged coffee all over reading this. U win +100 internetz points.

 
 

@mooseburger nxt bksyng soon!
@fanboi @mooseburger wher?
@mooseburger @fanboi Trnton Lndfil Cntry Celeb n Swp mt!!!!11! c u ther!!! kthxbai

 
 

@ahab give it up stumpy that wale 2 big 4 u LOL

 
 

@GACuster LOL injuns. brb.

There’s a lot of great shit in this thread but this one made me bark like a startled Beagle.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Shit, oldster fail

 
 

Um, it’s funny, but http://historicaltweets.com/ is pretty decent, too.

 
 

@Galilei u so rong dude skyman put sun rnd urf
@Inqy eppur si muove btchz

 
 

BWayne Prnts ded. Tried to fite crym, got azz kikd. FAIL
BWayne Mabbe i shud just die
BWayne HOLY SHT
BWayne BIGGEST FKN BAT EVAR

 
 

Um, it’s funny, but http://historicaltweets.com/ is pretty decent, too.

@gob Taht’s so gai! LOL!!!1 We funnayr

 
 

@Protestants NOBODY SPECTS THE SPANISH INQZSHUN!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Navajo wind talking is killing prose

 
 

OMG i lafd so hard m buttplug popped out

 
 

@andrewsullivan d00d!1!! TMI nd i bl33ch

 
 

Not funny.

 
 

@Richard(Shecky)Cohen

Tht Colbert iz nt fny. I stl fnyst.

 
 

yung fizzix guy says:
chk ot new theeree at link:

wolfman pauli says:
ha not evn rong

 
 

@ollie @ronnie have prfct setup: sell g2a m1ssles 2 #iran then send $$ to c0n7r4s. wat cud go rong?

 
 

@CIA hey we thru out ugglee monkey boy Hugo Chavez LOL!!11!!!
@CarmonaBoyz no stil here dkhead came bak
@CarmonaBoyz hey mah troops 1 floor b-lo u w/gunz
@CIA gotta go need pass to Peru thxpls

 
 

Holy shit, D. You just won 2010 and it’s only a few days old!

 
 

@AndyJackson D00d I ttly pwnzor’d teh 2nd nat bank 2day. Now tiem to get rid of sum fukken injuns.Trail of Tears, amirite? Tears of JOY!!1!!

 
 

@CaptEdwardSmith oh okay u wanted to make bst meta4 evah and j cameron scrnplai 🙂

 
 

@ congrgation – brb, wetsuits & a dildo

 
 

@ Yoko: onoz!!

 
 

@CColombo

I cn c India frm my crws nst!!!!

 
 

@ america – LOL PARDONED ROFL

 
 

@CColombo god yr such fag sail 1 dam trip to ilandz u thnk yr hot sht
@CColombo eat my wake bitch I opnd up half urf u posr

 
 

@USpeeps – word! yo peeps, wutup?
@USpeeps – hey guize, potato salad & chikkenz @ my place tonite!
@USpeeps – why arent u here yet?
@USpeeps – guize?
@USpeeps – ZOMG nobodys coming ZOMG
@USpeeps – WFT do i do w/ all this food?!?!
@USpeeps – 8′(

 
 

sorry libz, cant talk now – busy selling soul 2 satan. kthxbai

 
 

@voxpopuli – free concert & weenieroast tonite downtown

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

Brilliant. I can’t do that well, but . . . (and hoping this formats)

AbrahamThaMan: o sh!t!! gawd sez i got 2 kill mai son
about 5000 years ago from web

ItsIssac: @AbrahamThaMan wut?!
about 5000 years ago from Echofon in reply to AbrahamThaMan

AbrahamThaMan: @Issac lol nm, just ur peen
about 5000 years ago from web

ItsIssac: @AbrahamThaMan WUT?!?!?!
about 5000 years ago from Echofon in reply to AbrahamThaMan

 
 

Greeks @Troy – this siege is teh suxx0rz
Troy @Greeks – LOL PWNT
Greeks @Troy – OK u win
Greeks @Troy – no hard feelingz d00d
Greeks @Troy – here, u can even have a big wooden horsey
Greeks @Troy – we give up – c u later, guyz
Greeks @Troy – brb, sailing home
Troy @Greeks – wow thats sure one honkin big horsey
Troy @Greeks – zzz zzz zzz zzz …
Troy @Greeks – OMGWTFBBQ
Greeks @Troy – ROFL
Greeks @Troy – im in yr base, burnin down yr buildingz

 
 

Let’s hear it for the Romans, folks:

@Nero Like, OMG, the city’s totally on fieurr! LOL! Guess I’ll just play this fiddle for a while.

@Caligula I’m gonna marry this horse, and you cn’t stop mee!!! Horses rule! Everybdy else sucks!!!

@Ceasar Brutus, whut’chu gonna do wiff thet kniffe? Don’t choo stab at mee wiff that! LOL, you suck…

 
 

@ImmanuelKant Ur a rill pissant

 
 

@Claudius W-w-what do u mean, Mperor? LOL!!!!!!!!

 
 

@Magellan’sCrew

WTF u mean “no 1 wil remember us?”

 
 

nietzsche @socrates: u r such a bore
socrates @nietzsche: NO U!

 
 

plato: @socrates DON’T DRINK TH…2 L8!

 
Lurking Canadian
 

@Romeo: OMFG. Rosaline is totes HAWT. She is teh ONE!
Posted during Act I.

@Romeo: OMFG. Juliet is totes HAWT. She is teh ONE!
Posted during Act III.

@Montague: Holy shit, my son was an emo jackass.
Posted after Act V.

@Rosaline: Heard Rom dead. Capulet slut too. Dodged bullet there.
Posted after Act V.

 
 

nietzsche @God U ded
God @nietzsche U ded
nietzsche @God got u first

 
 

IsaDuncan @Desti The scarf. It shud be longer.

 
 

This was so good I showed it to my teenage son, while admonishing him not to share it with anyone.

In retrospect, that last part might turn out counterproductive.

 
 

Who would have guessed that the Fuhrer was a fan of Fruits Basket.

Kyou is the Jew of Fruits Basket fascism.

 
 

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