Analyze Ann Althouse’s Body Language
Ann Althouse has requested ‘an Althouse-focused equivalent of Analyze Glenn Reynolds’ Body Language.’ We live to serve, thus a rather provocative photo of Prof. Althouse with analysis of her posture below (we encourage commenters to add their own interpretations as well):
Photo credit: Ann Althouse
A casual observer of the above photo will immediately note the way that Althouse’s naked body contrasts with the snow drift immediately behind her to effect a heightened, if somewhat disarming kind of visual tension, such that we are forcibly confronted with the raw animal power of non-partisan sexuality emerging like a bolt of pure energy from the wasteland of wintry desolation.
But the photo’s composition is not our main concern — rather, as the title of this post suggests, it is Althouse’s body language. Here, her puckish facial expression suggests a secret kept close but available for the right (implicitly non-monetary) price, while the professor’s taut, coiled physicality is that of a stalking lioness or perhaps of a person pretending to do Daniel-san’s crane kick from ‘The Karate Kid’ to add a little humor to yet another roadside sobriety test in the greater Madison area.
Now look at her left hand. Unremarkable, you say? Look at it again. Now do you see it? Hard to believe that on first glance you missed such an obvious and practiced gesture, isn’t it? Prediction (longshot): This will have lasting implications for our understanding of Plessy v. Ferguson.
There is of course much more to glean from this singularly evocative photograph. But we will now stand aside and let readers have their say.
…I’ve got nothing. I think the picture speaks for itself, really. One does not analyze Althouse, Althouse shows you what’s up.
let readers have their say
i’ve got my say already and i’m not letting anybody look at it. get your own say.
Too subtle for me. I don’t get it.
Ann Althouse, an empty box, and nothing else but raging psychosis; that’s an ordinary night of blogging for AA.
The woman needs to try the unfermented juice boxes for once.
That’s not a crane kick. She’s obviously evoking the Dancing Shiva of Hindu mythology, symbolizing the eternal destroyer of all creation.
Either that or it’s a cramp.
Bigods you’re right! She’s making the secret symbol of the vagonion ring!
the formal integrity and impassive surface of the composition compel the viewer to deconstruct his or her own approach with a rusty pocket knife
When you stare into Ann Althouse, Ann Althouse stares back at you.
Could use some color, a little blush perhaps, or maybe some rosé.
the secret symbol of the vagonion ring!
SNERK!
I can’t concentrate on the composition what with her boobs all up in my face.
For whatever reason, despite several reloads, I can’t see the picture, dammit.
Nevertheless, it is clear that she is hot for me.
Which is frankly gross.
Look, I stopped and scrolled down as soon as I saw the word “naked”. Come on, even I have my limits.
Lookist!
Ann Althouse, an empty wine box, and nothing else but raging psychosis
Fixed fer ya.
I ALWAYS get the picture. Can someone please link another version for me?
I need a reason to live.
The way he’s holding her, it’s almost filthy.
Wow cool — I ask for brain bleach and here we go.
OT: Erk is going to be on Colbert tonight. http://instaputz.blogspot.com/2010/01/this-is-why-erick-ericksons-god.html
I think we’re talking Must See TV.
My analysis? This blogger is depraved on accounta she ain’t had a normal home.
Worst “Got milk?” advert ever!
I can see Glenn’s abnormally protruding unit coming from his mutated inner-thigh, I can see every picture S,N! ever posted, but I can’t see this one. It’s killing me, because I want to “read” it.
Obviously, the penis reference.
Although you don’t often see them wearing that kind of veil.
Annal T House needs no picturatin’ to get her message threw.
~
I should always read the article first, at first glance I assumed it was her EEG.
Ann Althouse is white and is a square. That’s all I got.
Holy crap she’s pale. Jesus, lady, go out into the sunlight every once in a while.
Actually, I take that back. While this stark image is an accurate representation of the Althouse thought process, it’s lacking something. It needs to be multimedia. Layer a track of voices screaming about assorted topics at varying frequencies, and you’ve got a perfect reflection.
Wait, she’s got a tattoo on her arm. Looks like a word. N-I-G-
[Le GASP! Could it be …?]
Oh … Night of the Living Dead.
Never mind.
Paint it black.
Ann Althouse is so hot. I don’t mean attractive. I just mean she thinks it’s stuffy in here.
There’s a lot of sound and fury in that photo.
Alternate “What It Sounds Like In Anne Alk’s Head” soundtrack
Once upon a time I worked in a little independent bookstore, and the buyer ordered several copies of a book entitled something like “What To Do In Case Of Nuclear War”. And the book contained entirely blank pages. It made sense to me. That’s what I’d do. But I read, I think in Publisher’s Weekly, that a lot of bookstores returned the books as “defective”. So I have to wonder: is this photo of Ann Althouse in the grand tradition of “What To Do In Case Of Nuclear War”? If so, my response would be similar: it would make sense, and I would do nothing.
It’s rather uncharacteristic of Althouse to be drinking white wine.
This blogger is depraved on accounta she ain’t had a normal home.
So take her to a social workeh.
Obviously an abstact depiction of La Althouse. By depicting the nothingness and blankness of the interior of an empty wine box, the artist is clearly making a layered and evocative metaphorical statement about the subject the work. Namely, that she drinks wine from a box, the box is now empty demonstrating that she already drank all of it, and the void that remains evokes the subject’s state of mind after drinking all of it.
“Ann Althouse is so hot”
Well, when you’re soaked with as much alcohol as she is, spontaneous human combustion is no longer just a fantasy.
An analysis worthy of Rabo Karabekian, Jennifer.
Jennifer, you rock. You are possibly en fuego. At the very least, white hot.
When I look at it I think of the White Album–which would make the soundtrack in her head “Helter Skelter”. Not good.
I’m surprised the glass of wine superglued to her hand is completely hidden. Are you sure this wasn’t photoshopped by Ann Althouse?
OMG! Its like an entire biography of the wingnut mind! The vast spaces of open blank, like the blank slate of teabagger’s mind, open and ready for corporate fillers.
Like looking into a glass of rotten milk stuck to the bottom of it like glue, that milk that you left when you quenched your thirst last night and left it on the counter and there it is, the remnants of your former want, satisfied to the point where placing it on the counter to deal with in the morning was just fine, even if there was a little bit left at the bottom of the glass.
That is stuck like glue the next morning and has developed an entire colony of bacteria.
That, is the wingnut mind, the wignut world. What the corporatocracy left behind after sucking out everything they could get.
Ann Althouse’s photography shows her understanding of the subject matter.
pic don’t load
No, this isn’t some abstract piece, it’s performance art. We’re all out here, reloading the page, feeling frustrated for a picture that won’t ever load, trying to get a joke that isn’t there. I don’t read Althouse, but I expect that’s a good metaphor for her.
To wit, perusing now:
People read her blog why?
Do not want to even imagine Althouse naked. That is enough to turn me to teh gay, after I finish regurgitating everything I ate forr the last month.
The pic loads. But, you can make your own pic with MS Word, if you want to.
I can’t make it out quite from the pic… is that a dog or a horse underneath her?
I think if you do a Fourier Transformation of the spectral values you can then very simply do a reverse incursion on the image to clearly read the message she has tattooed across her chest:
The working class and the employing class have nothing in common. There can be no peace so long as hunger and want are found among millions of the working people and the few, who make up the employing class, have all the good things of life.
Boxed white wine at that.
I’m gonna marry all her vacant pixels.
Well, I think it’s very brave of Ann to put such a… vulnerable photo up on the interwebs. I mean, take the snow leopard skin she’s draped around her shoulders – she’s trying to say that her weakness gives her strength. On the other hand, the albino boa she has wrapped around her legs gives her an almost pleading look – reminiscent of Little Orphan Annie, being told she’s being sent to be a test-subject for medical experiments.
This is all of course belied by the animalistic HUNGER in her eyes, feral, yet vacant at the same time.
It’s truly HAUNTING
People read her blog why?
She looked at a single picture of the President and instantly predicted his future three years hence – a prediction no other political commenter could make without lots of fancy-schmancy graphs and charts and facts. The questions is: Why don’t people read her blog?
is that a dog or a horse underneath on top of her?
Psychofixulated.
Damnit damnit damnit!
??????????????????
drat
Zoom in and enhance!
In Russia body language analyzes Ann Althouse. You know who else analysed Ann Althouse’s body language? That’s right. Dick Cheney.
In Russia boxes of wine drunk blog on Ann Althouse.
In Vietnam drafts get five deferments to avoid Dick Cheney.
I got more. I’ll be here all night. Try the shrimp.
Can I have your attention please? Whoever owns a gold colored Ford Taurus, liscense plate # PNS1, your lights are on.
Just to keep you company, IGM, I’ve got a little story.
My mother, who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s, has suddenly got this bee in her bonnet about getting rid of some of the crap that’s been stashed about their house for ever. So I’ve been going over there and carting away boxes of god-knows-what.
Amongst these treasures were two pink glass vases that she particularly wanted me to have: family legend has it that Hitler had a pair exactly the same (veiled testicle reference, although Hitler’s testicles probably didn’t have flowers painted on them).
So now I’m just waiting for someone to see these treasures sitting above my fireplace and comment, so that I can say “You know who else had vases like that?”
Ahhh, the small pleasures of a mundane life.
,,,although Hitler’s testicles probably didn’t have flowers painted on them).
Now who’s being naive?
“You know who else had vases like that?”
If/when you do get round to say this, just remember that’s why god created youtube.
Using the latest in backscatter technology, Ann’s countenance becomes visible for closer analysis
http://i954.photobucket.com/albums/ae30/rte148/v38n3a11f1.jpg
“You know who else had vases like that?”
That’s beautiful.
OHGODI’MBLIND!
Oh. wait.
So this is what a white cow eating white grass in the snow looks like?
…And is that Johnny on the right one?
Anyways, about that picture…
All I see is BOOBIES.
why’d you post a picture of Dragon-King’s mom?
Naturally, she wears a tight knit top that draws attention to her breasts and stands right in front and positions herself to make her breasts as obvious as possible?
It’s obvious that she’s bending over backwards — figuratively and literally — to keep the attention on her breasts.
Sooooo… apparently, Ann writes one of those blogs that are all about using breasts for extra attention.
Wow, that pic really gave the ol’ Batcomputer a workout! I haven’t had this much fun since the Joker left a “Turn over to see how to keep the world’s greatest moron busy for days!” card at a crime scene as a clue. Still trying to figure out what that tattoo of Ann’s that depicts the Bumble mounting Hedwig is supposed to signify. I’ll keep you posted, junior crimefighters.
family legend has it that Hitler had a pair exactly the same (veiled testicle reference, although Hitler’s testicles probably didn’t have flowers painted on them).
I’ve heard Hitler only had one pink flower-painted vase…
Is that a still from One Althouse, Two Cups?
Not that I’ve seen it.
I liked the white whale. And the white elephant. And the white lye.
[From much earlier: Jennifer, that was excellent!]
Wow, if you squint your eyes just so and stare past the surface, there is a spaceship!
If you can’t see anything, it just means your web browser isn’t refined enough.
Just for the record, I am some kind of a moron for not getting the joke sooner. Super-moron, perhaps.
*skulking embarrassingly away*
Jesus- this is all I ever get with Althouse, and it seems maybe kind of a similar vibe as this photo here.
Your photograph clearly shows an obsession with Clinton’s penis.
Hey another sighting from Boing-Boing.nexxid
http://www.boingboing.net/2010/01/06/ningen-humanoid-sea.html