Analyze The Upside Down Penis Growing Out Of Glenn Reynolds’ Upper Thigh
Courtesy of DougJ at Balloon Juice, we learn of important new research into Glenn Reynolds’ body language as displayed in publicly available photos on the Internet. Analyze Glenn Reynolds’ Body Language presents us with the below photo of a curiously diagonal Ol’ Perfesser, which it describes as ‘A damning visual metaphor for wingnut welfare.’
Point well taken, but we couldn’t help but notice something else about this picture of Reynolds, whom you will note is rarely photographed from the waist down — apparently there is a good reason for this, as our blow-up of the relevant section of the image shows:
Commenters at Analyze Glenn Reynolds’ Body Language wonder why he’s leaning to the right in this photo … the obvious explanation being a subtle expression of Reynolds’ political sympathies. But we think this new revelation that Glenn Reynolds has a permanently erect, massive, cockeyed schlong rooted in the inner portion of his upper left thigh offers a simpler explanation — that in order to perform the simple act of pissing straight, the Ol’ Perfesser must tilt his body at a generous angle to compensate for the skewed outgrowth of his monstrous mutant genitalia.
And we ask — is this really the sort of person America wants educating her next generation of lawyers and judges?
is this really the sort of person America wants educating her
yes I said yes I will Yes
Is he in a high wind?
I’m glad The Daily Show and Colbert are back from vacation tonight, and I hope they bring up this ridiculous photo brouhaha.
“educating her next generation of lawyers and judges” ?
Much less being in the general vicinity of children. Aren’t there zoning laws that cover this sort of thing? If not, there should be.
Pfft – he looks like the second runner up in a Bill Gates lookalike contest, minus the money and charm.
As for that “penis” – it’s actually a roll of pennies.
Maybe there really is something to the old saying “Is that a gun in your pocket….”
I think it’s a corndog.
Actually, I think Ann Coulter is standing sideways, fishing in his pocket for a tip.
Wait…is he really trying to pass off a three button suit jacket as some kind of casual wear?
“…fishing in his pocket for a tip.”
Obvious lie. No wingnut welfare recipient would ever offer a tip.
Well, see, that’s my point, Chowder. She had to go find it.
“….fishing in his pocket for a tip.fishing in his pocket for a tip.”
Which he then promptly pretends to give to the beggar outside, so he can leave a smug letter to the waitress about Obama or something, right?
It’s leftovers from his lunch; A big ol’ bag of dicks.
A cucumber wrapped in tin foil.
I GOT IT!
Dr Mrs Perfessor Instaputz made him carry her toys as punishment.
Suit jacket, polo shirt, jeans, probably some Nikes… Business casual for the tragically self-unaware.
Penis? Sadly, no. Actor’s on the right track: we’re dealing with a Republican, and therefore, it’s a dildo.
Must I point out the obvious?
Apparantly one of our trolls decided to take on the WaPo and got a bag of dicks for his troubles.
I think it’s a corndog.
Hinderaker was wondering where that went.
ot, hows yer shit moat…:
http://christopherhitchenswatch.blogspot.com/2010/01/calling-out-dogs.html
That site is such a brilliant way to start the year.
I remember the good old days, back in late ’08, when people actually discussed the possiblity that we could just ignore the crazies, and some even speculated that we had seen “peak wingnut”, such optimistic times.
Also, this looks like the cover to the worst-selling album of the 70’s.
That’s known as the “gangsta lean.”
(adding, I know Cole retracted the peak wingnut thing immediately, and I’m not picking on him, but it is amusing that it was even plausible to speculate on some pinnacle of right wing crazy, as if it was not a renewable resource).
Are those jeans *gulp* ACID WASHED?
Wingnut is the Cold Fusion of the Internets.
I’m pretty sure that’s a dildo there.
The wetsuits are out in the car.
Also, this looks like the cover to the worst-selling album of the 70’s.
Right. Now we have to come up with an artist of such resounding treacly inaninity and fulsome self-indulgence that this would fit.
We may have to make up a name.
I vote for Kenny G. Fogelgates
JEEZUS! Carrot Top looks even worse in pink.
Trust me on this one. That is a kickstand.
http://christopherhitchenswatch.blogspot.com/2010/01/calling-out-dogs.html
Gahh! My eyes!
Walter Ego.
Seales and Crayolas.
God, you guys are juvenile, immature and offensive. Keep up the great work.
Hall and Flock of Sea-Oates
Some material.
A friend of mine had him as a professor pre-Instapundit days and said he was actually a very good teacher. He was also very understanding of her situation as the mother of newborn twins. This actually disappointed me, because it’s much easier to mock him while thinking that he’s an irredeemable asshole.
Then again, I’m sure Hitler was nice to the mother of newborn twins from time to time.
Glenn Reynolds working on sound
….by putting a CD in the optical drive…*snark*
Superchump
Cheap Dick
Remember when.
ZZ Schlock
Apparantly one of our trolls decided to take on the WaPo and got a bag of dicks for his troubles.
Wow! That there is some class troll-busting.
Sessions presents:
Glenn Reynolds sings 16 mellow hits including:
“Steal Away”
“Ride Like the Wind”
“Baby Come Back”
“This is It”
“I Keep Forgetting”
“Africa”
“Kiss On My List”
“Hey Nineteen”
“I’m Not In Love”
“Summer Breeze”
his original “Heh, Indeed, Baby”
And many many more
Steely Duh
ZZ Schlock
*GASP*
This is…is…so full of win!
For the love of dog, do not scroll down to the last picture on that blog.
There’s a huge dick attached to that mediocre penis…
Christopher Crass
Frankie Goes To Dollywood (OK, it’s the 80s, but still…)
Bay City Trollers
Starlite Vocal Bland
Could it be a roll of onion rings in his pocket?
REO Hayseedwagon
Richard Hugger pants are so 5 minutes ago.
Also, Glenn’s prog-rock band would be ‘No’
Hot Air Supply
Little Fibber Band
Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you? Heh. Indeed. More than a feeling! Listen to the whole thing. I’m all out of love! What am I without you?
Pryx or possibly Stynx
Glenn Reynolds would probably be the first and only act ever to release their albums straight to K-Tel Records.
Iggy Poop.
Earth, Wind and Cheetos.
Bob Saget and the Silver Bullshit Band
PENIS?
Fleetwood Suc
The Indeedie Brothers
Jethro Dull
Poor Glenn. Can’t even don a buttplug harness without fucking it up.
He’s pitchin’ a wang-dang-doodle!
The Doodie Brother
Art Blartfunkle
Give me a second…
Ummm….
The Marshall Sucker Band?
That’s kind of lame, actually…
Ted Nugent. No revisions necessary.
Captain and U*Tenn*ile (Captain not pictured)
Blue Oyster Cu–
No, that would insult our vaginally-enhanced sisteren…
England Pram and John Ford Colic
Ted Nugent. No revisions necessary.”
FTW
Ted Nougat
The Grateful Dud
that would insult our vaginally-enhanced sisteren…
Not if you say it with an accent.
The Go Go Galts
The Drive-By Suckers
Glenny G.
Dead Glennedys
Tool and the Gang
I like this better than yarn/knitting puns, I must say
KC and the moonshine band
“Tool and the Gang”… That one was pretty good!
Electric Fright Orchestra
The Reach Boys
Lionel Bitchie
good list of 70s bands, so others more clever than I can play along
Average Redneck Band
Blue Prairie Oyster Cult
Little Drivel Band
Petty Tom and the Mirrorbreakers
Dopie Gray
KansASS
Dr Kook and the Medicine Band
Moxy Music
Bozo Scaggs
Pant Loaf
Jefferson Starshit
ZZ Fop
Asshat
LOL, actor! That’s looking like a possible winner.
Generation Blecch.
Sophist glibertarian randroid and the IGMFYJ smug fucking assholes
FAIL Collins.
Furry Part Convention
King Crumb’s Son
Two Dong Night
The Brothers Glib
Ooh, that one took a bit of thought, PeeJ. (I’m out of original ideas, so I have devolved into pithy commentary.)
Dodo
You’re A Heap of Shit.
The New York Dulls
The Ides Of Muck
Pryx
Brewer and Shitley
Norman Fell and the Randroids
Velveeta Underground
Soggy Balldust and the Spiders from Knoxville
Emerson, Lake and Hairy Palmer
Girth, Wind and Fire
Naughty Company
Lynyrd Retard
Mott the Stupulle
Nah. It’s because he was born with his scrotum on the bottom of his left foot.
War ’nuff said.
Wrong Chung
The Commode-doors
Bland Junk Railroad
Love and Assrockets
Bland Junk Railroad
Rand Junk Railroad
Rare Girth
TF – way better
Bachmann Kerner Overdrive
Mott the Shitpile
Paul McBlartny and Wingnuts
Three Dog Whistle Night
Christopher Dross
The Teh
Writers Of The Purple Prose
The Jammed
Burning Sensations
Electric Right Orchestra
Tool and the Wang
Rush
The Puleeze
9/11 Inch Nails
Cubic zirconia in the back. Moon roof top. Heh-indeedin’ the scene with the wanksta lean.
Foreigner ’nuff said.
REO Crapwagon
Bigot Star
REO Crapwagon
That should have been the actual name of that particular band, for the truthfullness.
Really, though, you gotta celebrate Glenn Reynolds’ whole catalog. From his start as a member of Tower of Powerline, to the glam rock of his remarkable debut Out With R.E.N.E.W., In With Reynolds (a concept album about a battle between an intergalactic ACORN-like organization and Reynolds’ alter-ego “Guitarzilla”), to his recent forays into clubland, such as his single Stock Blockin’ Beats (NYSE 2B Naughty Barackolypse Remix) off of This is Heh-core vol 6, it’s all good.
Below Average White Band
I think the word bromance is so passe. We are two men who happen to be roommates who wrestle a lot and share a bed.
Pretty much this entire thread is NSFW.
Superchump
Shallow Purple
Lynard Retard FTW.
were you alluding to the Caustic albums ‘cock blockin beats’ and ‘this is jizzcore’?
“A friend of mine had him as a professor pre-Instapundit days and said he was actually a very good teacher. He was also very understanding of her situation as the mother of newborn twins. This actually disappointed me, because it’s much easier to mock him while thinking that he’s an irredeemable asshole.”
Plenty of publically horrible people are nice when the cameras are off and when they aren’t exercising their power. Doesn’t make them not douches on the whole.
Hehwind
Right. Now we have to come up with an artist of such resounding treacly inaninity and fulsome self-indulgence that this would fit.
Doctor BLT.
Headbig and the Angry Inch
You know who else was quite charming when the cameras were off?
The Dopey Brothers
You know who else was quite charming when the cameras were off?
Wangchuck’s mom?
“I’m Not In Love”
Hey, 10CC were a very subversive set of talented alt-pop meisters. After all they took their name from the average amount of male ejaculate….
Heh.
Duh-Oh
The Sex with Robots Pistols
REO Hehindeedwagon
The Armchair Femmes
Bruce Yellowsteen and The Penis Street Band
Oh crap, that should have been Bruce YellowSTAIN…
Obviously.
Shouldn’t that be “Bruce Yellowstain…”?
Damn. It’s as if you ate my BRANE…
Revolting Cock
Which leads me to…
…Bad Brain
Just drop the final “s” and no further changes needed.
And leads me further to:
Living Choler
Architect Zombies are the fastest, Jennifer…
Or so Mrs. Zombee says.
I’m an architect too, yannow…
Geneshit.
That’s just a cigar in his pocket.
See, many of these bands that you are all riffing on are not, technically speaking, of the 70’s genre. All of you have gone and made a MOCKERY of this entire thread! Ruined it for everyone….
The J. Piles Band.
Motordickhead
Skink Floyd
Libertarian Creed.
As an uninteresting aside, I’m trying to comment from a Wii.
Commander Codpiece and his Lost Planet Airheads.
Teh Notorious B.I.G.O.T.
not, technically speaking, of the 70’s
steppondick?
Cheap Dick
The Boors
A Taste of Money
The Bee Jays
I’d make a comment about Jennifer and/or her mother, but it took me 5 minutes to get something into the url thingy – it’s gonna take hours to figure out talics
Dr. Helen and teh ME-dicking Show
Hey, you know who ELSE commented from a Wii?
YOUR MOTHER.
I’m an architect too, yannow…
But not a Zombee, unless you’re all incognito and shit…
Nanobot Simone
I never thought fiddlin’ on teh tubes “one-handed” would be so hard but the pure awesome of typing PENIS on a Wii is redundantly awesomely pure. Also.
PENIS.
Hamilton, Joe Frank and
Uriney.
(What’s the matter with) Kansas.
Anthrax Supply.
Also of note, every time teh pointer moves over a link or a key on teh screen, the Wiimote’s rumble gives you a little zzzzzz.
It’s Wii-tastically zzzzzz’ing.
Also, am going to have to spell it “the” now.us No, I did not mean tehran.
Emerson, Lake and Rosy Palmer
The Shames Gang
The Brothers Glenn (Bee Gees)
The Pointless Sisters
There’s really nothing part of Reynolds’ persona that can’t be explained by the fact that he obviously got his ass beat frequently in high school and never got laid. Think about it:
– Stalking female UT students with his camera
– Obsessing over sex with female robots
– The relentless need to bomb scary brown people into oblivion
– The idea that he can trash the planet and everyone on it as long as he can download his brain into a supercomputer
– Sniveling bitterness over Obama’s popularity
– Hanging out with Don Surber, Bob Owents, Jim Hoft, and other pasty-white shitstains
– Constantly linking to no-talent idiots like Althouse and McMegan with the longing that maybe they’ll fuck him
– Fuck, just look at the way the man dresses
And on and on and on.
Terrah Level Strawberry Alarm Cock.
Also, Preview h8s N10do
DEVO
…dammit, wait.
No.
…dammit, wait.
Are we not Glenn?
While I agree with most of what Dr. H’s Dr has to say, I just have this nitpick: Whut’s wrnog with obsessing over sex with robots? Asks the guy with a vibrating Wiimote in his lap. Also, please imagine that “sex with robots” was all hyperlinky with images of Tricia Helfer, Summer Glau and Teddy Ruxpin.
I WILL NOT BE CONTAINED BY GLENN’S LEE DUNGAREES BLUB BLUB BLUB
The fact is, why are liberals homosexuals obsessed with penis on men?
Yknow, just saying that all these attacks on good people will reflect badly on Obama and all the liberal change brigade, nobody wants to be part of a movement that denigrates good men like Instapundit. Realize that your emotional arguements will loose every time, use fact and logic lol!
Gary, does this imply that Real Heartlands are obsessed with penis on woman?
That may be the stupidest question ever.
In a couple of ways.
Gotta go, some kinda gay sport is on.
– The idea that he can trash the planet and everyone on it as long as he can download his brain into a supercomputer
Do supercomputers have floppy drives?
Blue Oyster Dolt
Josie and the Pussy.
Shat Stevens.
Immodest Mouseturd.
Electric Light Dorkestra.
He’d better not show up at the airport with that thing, whatever it is.
good men like Instapundit.
hah. prove THAT.
He’s playing pocketball on camera.
Instahack self-pleasuring is NOT news…
Molly Ratshit
Monstrose
It’s out of era but “The Teh” made me laugh and laugh and laugh
oh dear, there is something wrong with me, I think
Besides the whole “day late and dollar short” issue, I mean…
Right. Now we have to come up with an artist of such resounding treacly inaninity and fulsome self-indulgence that this would fit.
Doctor BLT.
And the Oscar for Best Riff On An In-Thread Diversion goes to….Zombie Ronald McDonald!
ZRM couldn’t be here tonight to accept the award, so it will be flown to his asylum in absentia.
I have to admit that I’m impressed this entire thread went this long, and no one tried to work ABBA into it.
Millions of points off, Gryffyndor.
There are TWO of ’em, though the right-sided one seems hypoplastic relative to the left–talk aboutcher body language!
I can’t believe you all missed it, Reynolds is dead ringer for Dewey Bunnell of the band Amerikkka.
Um, lemme see:
Boner M
Gary Fuckit and the Non-Union Gap
Pink Fraud (or Pink Freud, if you want to be really creepy…)
The You Don’t Have To Guess Who (They also toured as The Usual Gang of Idiots)
Paul McBlartney and Wingnuts
I have to admit that I’m impressed this entire thread went this long, and no one tried to work ABBA into it.
Bjorg Again.