Serbian Night Fever; Villagers in Finland

Against an enemy so malignant, so depraved, and so immoral, the principles of just war permit a massive counter-attack even on Christmas Eve.


Comments: 90


I’m so immobile within the boat that I’m not even clicking on those little gray “play” arrows.


sir, this is madness i tell you! madness!!! oh, the humanities…


Gregorius looks a lot like Vivian Stanshall. I expected him to start bellowing, “I’m gonna get you in my tent, tent, tent, tent, tent….”


Oh mighty IPU, wot have I done to be stricken so harshly?

Tintin, you must be some sort of fag or possibly French because this as a response to Vanilla Ice is just ludicrous. I’ve only managed the first of those “videos” and my will to live is gone. The only thing that kept me from dissolving into a puddle of broken weeping is the fact that Serbia hasn’t yet acquired tight leather pant technology.


you are sick, sick men


Prima facie case for why “Social Media Ruined the Internet.”

Good god, man, have you no thought for the children?


the guy on the piano (syth?) in the 2nd video kind of looks like what I expected Gateway Patriot what-ever-the-fuck he calls himself these days looks like.kind of nerd crossed with a dodgy uncle..


The horrors of war. The Vanilla Ice / Ninja Turtles on Eschaton shocked the conscience of even the most callous and hardened web-surfers. But the Gregorius counterstrike was Shock and Awe carnage worthy of an international trial in Brussels.

Is there no end to this madness? Have you two no concern whatsoever for all the innocent passers-by slain with laughter?


My new favorite Christmas Story: At the encouragement of his father, Assrocket Jr. has enlisted in the military to fight the terrorists over there so we don’t have to fight them here got his first apartment. Unfortunately his building is teeming with the Islamofascist Somalians that are so pervasive in Power Line’s fever dreams Minnesota.

It seems that Hindy Jr. felt a little dribble of pee on his thigh when he noticed a few Islamofascists sitting in a car one cold morning, doing something terroristy like waiting for a member of their carpool or warming up their vehicle. When two of the terrorists approached, he began to plot out his defenses, undoubtedly using the terror-fighting techniques his father taught him.

Turns out the guys just wanted to help clean the snow off his car and Hindy Jr. told the senior Assrocket that he learned The Most Important Christmas Lesson of All Time: Only most, but not all, Somali immigrants are fifth-column terrorists.

a second non-lester the giant ape

I can’t decide which of these videos to kill myself for. But this has to be the end. I can’t go on. Is this the species that conquered the world?


Speaking of war…

…If the global powers-that-be understood how many Americans are saying quiet goodbyes to loved ones this holiday, they would be perplexed.

If those elitists knew how many Americans were using their remaining vacation time in 2009 to clean weapons and pre-position various items needed for the struggle ahead, they would ask, “Why?”

But we know why…


What this thread needs is some CHRISTMAS PENIS!


Obama campaigned on removing those videos!!


dear martha –

this is your loving and faithful husband writing to wish you and the children a merry christmas. i realize this letter will not reach you until after the new year, but i wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and the family, and that they give me respite from the bloody business we soldiers carry out on what is supposed to be among the most cherished times of the year. early this morning, we mustered our forces for a surprise attack in response to french vanilla ice with serbian john travolta and a cover of ‘ymca’ from gregarious. colonel tintin says the enemy we face is a hardy and truly terrible foe, and that a siege like ours, however grisly, however horrible, is justified by the laws of man and war. i hope the lord in his heaven will see fit to forgive us, but most of all, i dearly hope you can forgive me, martha, particularly for all those blonde guys two-steppin’ with each other.

all my love to you and the children, martha.


1st Video: Low-budget, man! If you wanna gross us out with your full-body jazz hands, you’re gonna have to spend some bucks!

2nd Video: Makes those Finns in “Wanna Love You Tender” look like the cast of “Rent”.

Is that the praise band of St. John of Chrysostom Orthodox Church in Moscow in the background?


Two things: were the Finns of the late 70s/early 80s just completely oblivious to gheyitude? Because the lead and the dancers both were either completely clueless or trying very hard in an over-the-top way to portray teh ghey. (Which would not at all surprise me, given that in the backwater Arkansas town where I attended high school, a lot of kids who were homophobic to the bone enthusiastically embraced the Village People, being completely clueless that they were all gay, gay, GAY!!! True story – you can ask LittlePig – he went to the same high school.) Second, has anyone ever seen a more joyless, workmanlike backup band?


Oh, and that keyboardist? Piffle!

These are keyboardists!


Did you know that even with a hot blonde skanking around in a short red back-less dress, you can still get Nul points in Eurovision?


“We must make video! I have camera! I have lake canoe!”

“But do you have the treehouse people? Are they onboard?”

“Yes! They are on board! They will wave big floppy umbrella! They are in!”

“And can I enter out of the lake, like a snake? And do my signature lightning bolt and fireball moves?”

“Yes, and you can even go back in the water like a snake! Now hurry! We are losing the light!”

“One last thing. And this is deal-breaker.”

“What, Crazy Legs? Tell me.”

“I must have my headphones.”

“Why?!? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“I must. Do not argue.”

“Okay. Fine. Wear the headphones. Now, let’s go make magic.”


Ain’t nobody ever got the go code yet. And old Ripper wouldn’t be giving us plan R unless them Russkies had already clobbered Washington and alot of other towns with a sneak attack.

Wing Attack Plan R


Does Tintin have a problem with his CRM-114 discriminator or something? I ask because the second video above, while awful, was also very funny. For some reason. I didn’t shudder, I laughed. A lot.

The first one, yeah that was just awful; an effective weapon.


Sweet, sweet victory.

Whew! Thank goodness that disaster was averted. They saved the children.


I know these battles usually have a retro feel, but the collaborations between Eric Wareheim and Major Lazer have provided modern daisy-cutter style ammunition.

Srsly, Tintin, bust out some big guns:
Pon De Floor


Two things: were the Finns of the late 70s/early 80s just completely oblivious to gheyitude? Because the lead and the dancers both were either completely clueless or trying very hard in an over-the-top way to portray teh ghey.

Jennifer has obviously never tried her hand at gay or Eurotrash?.


Pon De Floor

Now THAT is scary.


PeeJ – oh, that was great! And I actually got 8 out of 9 correct.

So I’m going with b) “trying very hard in an over-the-top way to portray teh ghey” (albeit unintentionally).


Build-A-Bear Workshop stumbles, but the US Senate steps up! Come on, people, it’s not too late to get your War on Christmas on.


The keyboardist’s expression lets you know you’re in for a treat.


Pon De Floor

Now THAT is scary.

You might also try Keep it Goin’ Louder.


I was going to laugh at the Euro-phaggortzing, but then I realized what kind of Canuck that would make me.

Enraged Bull Limpet

Mebbe I’ll head over to the Liberal Gun Club and empty a few clips. The signs point to some serious fan-spatter soon, so it’s time to brush up on technique.

Either that, or I could finally figure out how to work the iMovie thingamajig that’s been sitting down there untouched on the toolbar for the past five years.


what kind of Canuck that would make me.



Nowhere near enough spiked eggnog in the world to make me click those things. Clicking “Pon De Floor” was a bad enough mistake as it is.

From Nixon bombing Hanoi on Xmas … to this.

Anyway … Happy Holidays, Joyeux Noël, Jolly Yule & all that cal.

☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮


Well, if he’s dancing alone on the edge of a puddle, he’s not out weekend warrioring against the local muslims, so it’s kind of comforting, I guess.


my therapist tells me i haven’t recovered sufficiently from kenny g to risk further damage, so i won’t click kthx


@ Jennifer:

were the Finns of the late 70s/early 80s just completely oblivious to gheyitude?

The ’70s and early ’80s just seem flamboyantly gay in retrospect. I think they’re dressed like contemporary _jocks_, not Teh Ghey. It’s like the Steve Prefontaine Experience.


he ’70s and early ’80s just seem flamboyantly gay in retrospect.

We have PROOF!


@ Steerpike: Oh my God, it’s full of stars. And lightning bolts.


The Most Over Confident Men in the World These two delights look like they’re standing on the corner of “Drunk girl” and “need a ride home”. Their faces are the adult version of a child at Christmas, without all that innocence and a whole bunch of cocaine.

Dammit Steerpike, I got shit to do and places to go. NO MORE DISTRACTAMINTIZING!


I liked the subdued, understated use of special effects in the first video. James Cameron could learn a thing or two from this guy.


You may have won, but what’s left?


the torn hopes of future generations….


Happy Halloween!


That’s my Xmas present to the math/computer geeks out there.


To my fellow SadlyNosians, known and unknown:

As Fightin’ Digby said, “Happy Hollandaise.”

As I said, “And a very bernaise New Year.”

And as Andrew Dice Clay said, “Mary of Nazareth? I’d fuck her.”

Now to roast some chestnuts…


xmas installment of

Lost Hexagrams of the I Ching

hexagram number irrational – Monstrosities

hamsters get married to rats. a law is published declaring food to be shit. armies follow the battle plan of their opponents and attack themselves, and orphans are trampled heedlessly in the confusion. headless chickens lead parades

the superior man keeps his friends and his goals the same, and contemplates large pictures

good fortune



J Neo – I had to go look at this again and yes you hit it right on the head.
dear dear dear dear dear, no I did find Tent on youtube but this is a more interesting.


You wanted a War on Christmas? You got it m*th*rf#ckers!

You want a piece of me? You want a piece? Well, Santa’s got a big old bag… a big bag of whup-ass. You just picked the wrong fat man to f*ck with. I’ve loaded up my sled with vengeance and I’m comin’ straight to your crib!

Cry Havoc and let slip the reindeer of war!

2nd Lt. Yuel Sapper Johnson

Roll in a little


That’s my Xmas present to the math/computer geeks out there.

Christmas and Halloween – precisely equal!




I have new found respect for Tintin in his request for music suckitude. I have been randomly searching Youtube for shitty videos and I found this which doesn’t suck and is actually kinda cool in a weird way. I give you . . .
Les Doux Cactus – Japanese Country


quest not request

Marion in Savannah

Oh, the humanity… Have you no mercy? On the Eve of the Birth of Our Lord Jesus? Cripes… Now I’m going to have to go off and SERIOUSLY overindulge in the eggnog made with the good bourbon to get that scrubbed off my brain, which means I’ll show up for choir for Midnight Mass damn near knee-walking barfing-in-the-garden drunk. I hope you’re all proud of yourselves…

[huffs off towards the straight bourbon — screw the eggnog…]


Watch Bruce Lee kick chuck Norris’ wingnut ass. Merry Festivus everyone.


I’ll show up for choir for Midnight Mass damn near knee-walking barfing-in-the-garden drunk.

You make that sound like a bad thing.

As Cousin Shane would put it:

Do you remember that foul evening when you heard the banshees howl?
There were lazy drunken bastards singing billy in the bowl
They took you off to midnight mass and left you in the lurch
So you dropped a button in the pledge and spewed up in the church.


(???? . . . ????)




Couldn’t we have a new thread for Christmas, or the War on Christmas, or Festivus, or something?


Marry X-mass fellow islamofascists. When do we get our present and start rounding up teabaggers into the camps?


Marry X-mass fellow islamofascists. When do we get our present and start rounding up teabaggers into the camps?

That’s tomorrow, after the witch-magic cast on all the ribbons does its evil work and makes them easy prey.

And no, you can’t stay up all night and wait. You’ll be too tired to use the cattle prod, and we don’t want any laggards.

Physical Educator NIck Saban

Build-A-Bear Workshop stumbles, but the US Senate steps up!

Wait, someone from Kansas named “Bunny” did something poorly-considered? Hold the fucking presses!


Hey, BBBB, wanna come deck some fuckin’ blackshirt who’s cursing all the yids? This shitbird’s been asking for it.


You’re on, Rahm, we’ll kick his ass Chicago style!



Ya know, Ted Nugent had pretty long hair for the bulk of his career. I’m assuming he still does, though he might’ve lost it by now.

Hey, in other news, can anyone recommend a good ringtone creator program?


Hah! There’s just something about that YMCA song. It seems to be totally unpossible to perform it without exuding raging homoeroticism.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Enraged Bull Limpet

Watch Bruce Lee kick chuck Norris’ wingnut ass

Oh, that was indeed jolly viewing on a chill yuletide evening! (Yuletide, get it?) Haven’t seen that whupass sequence since my larval days.

In fact, t’was so jolly, I’m feeling like a jollyfiƒh!

Not drinking what a fiƒh drinks, tho…


Joyous two-five, libs.

Half of a fifth of what a fish won’t drink.

And then some.


Happy Holiday of your choice

God bless Stan Ridgway, and Tiny Tim and… aw fuck it…

Saturnalia begins!!!! 1 also

Enraged Bull Limpet

PeeJ, have an ecstatic Saturnalia, homegeez. One of my resolutions is that that last comment will be the last in which thiƒ annoying glyph is employed, except for that last one.


You tube war?

Take that, motherfuckers!!!!

And it’s holiday topical, too!!!


Which annoying gliƒ?

Enraged Bull Limpet

Which annoying gliƒ?



A most resonant Saturnalia to one and all!



I’m going to send you the doctor bills after that.


Let us all enjoy the Solstice to the fullest. Given the brutality of this YouTube war, it may be our last.


And as long as we’re gonna go all MIRVy about it…


Matt T. said,
December 25, 2009 at 5:52

Hey, in other news, can anyone recommend a good ringtone creator program?
Alls I know is SUPER(c) converts any media file to anything else.

NAYYY (it’s free), I just use it and it’s the shit.


A very merry War On Christmas to all!


knee-walking barfing-in-the-garden drunk

I believe I have found a new Zombie Holiday Tradition.


Oh noes! I scoffed at the idea that a Vanilla Ice video could even be in the same league as the pathetic Serbian “dancing” man. How very, very wrong I was! *cannot unsee*

What was worse? Vanilla Ice embarrassing himself (Vanilla Ice, man, he’s already pretty low), the synchronized crotch thrusts after subliminal shots of slimey rubber turtle suits, or the complete lack of musicality or originality? Also, was it just me, or did Vanilla Ice rap “this ninja’s a green machine, gonna f*ck this town without being seen?”


Man, teh Euro ghey is like dropping the neutron bomb. Thers willl need balls of steel even to go there let alone respond.


What. Do. You. Have. Against. Finns. You. French. Faggot. Frog?


Wait !

There are others in the Travolta-wannabe contest: like

Byronius, mormon disco star, from Sacramento CA

coming to a Mitt Romney Log cabin GOP rally near you


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