The Poor Man’s Most Humiliating Moments


The Editors has posted his Ten Most Humiliatin’ Blog Posts EVA. I’d like to add this one to the mix. The piece itself is actually pretty damn funny, as it imagines several right-wing pundits as Gollum (“It must have been … libruhlss!! Yes, libruhs, all conspirings and scheme-ings! Tricksy, sneaksy, and false! Libruhls have always hated the precious!”). But at the end, The Editors adds this serious note about the Valerie Plame affair:

My own personal take on this is that I haven’t a clue who’s responsible, but someone, somewhere, has fucked up royally, and the Bush folks need to get on top of this pronto, like a month ago.

The Editors assumed that “the Bush folks” actually gave enough of a shit about people working in the CIA to hold someone accountable for the Plame outing. This isn’t a particularly shameful thought, because under a normal administration, holding people accountable for gross malfeasance is standard. But given everything we now know about how the Bushies operate, shrugging off the burning of an undercover CIA operative seems like a drop in a large and ever-expanding bucket. Back in Aught-Three, many of us still thought the administration had enough integrity to take these things seriously. We were so innocent back then. So, so innocent.

Gavin adds: Hey, T-shirt idea: “Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.”

No, on second thought that’s disgusting. Never mind.


Comments: 24


Every time you kill a kitten, Rove–nope, not goin do it. Wouldn’t be prudent.


Every time you masturbate, Karl Rove kills a kitten. Oh hell, who are we kidding? He’d kill one anyway. That’s just the kind of guy he is. So, wank away!


Rovey is the type that doesn’t respect himself afterwards, so looks like kittens basically get it every which way with these guys.


So what happens to God when kittens masturbate?


So what happens to God when kittens masturbate?

Good Friday?


Good Friday?

I think the religious observance in honor of masturbation is Palm Sunday.


Palm Sunday.

That’s also when they read the Passion, now with extra God-killing goodness.


How about, “Everytime you kill a kitten, Bill Frist masterbates.”

That sounds just about right.


Dang it…u not e.

I think I’m going blind.


“I think I’m going blind.”

Have you checked your palms? Seems you have a lot of kittens to answer for!


What does God do when I kill a masturbator?

And I kinda need an answer quick.


What does God do when I kill a masturbator?

Depend–are you a kitten?


Hey, T-shirt idea: “Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.”

The glory of the coming of the Lord?


You mean these aren’t gloves?


You know, I can usually be counted on to post something really crass to a thread like this one–you know, about the Poorman, not about masturbation–but I think I’ll wait ’till it scrolls off the front page. Then, I’ll post something so obscene, it’ll make your hair fall out!


Too late!

anthony v. cuccia

I like the picture of the
growling monsters, but
wouldn’t it be nicer if
you had Michelle Malkin
escaping them rather than
the kitten? I am partial
to kittens. Michelle Malkin, however, is another

ghosts of infamous sadly No trolls of yore

The picture of the kitten reminds me of one of our infamous trolls of yore trying to get away from some of the more vicious visitors who inhabit these regions of the blogosphere.


the kitten reminds me of one of our infamous trolls of yore trying to get away from some of the more vicious visitors

Yeah, right, Dr. BLT. You run about as hard as I ran in Grade 2 when it was boys versus girls “Catch’n’Kiss” and Daniel Freeman was “It”.

“Whoops, I seem to have tripped over this clump of grass and am having difficulty getti– Ew, gross!! Boy germs!”

ghosts of infamous Sadly No Trolls of yore

We’ll be sure to pass those comments on to the venerable doctor, elendil, if we can get ahold of him that is. Since he’s become THE BIG BLOG STAR, he’s been acting like he’s too good for us. Quite frankly, we’re getting a little pissed off about it. Nevertheless, we must remain loyal to one of the best trolls this site ever had to offer. Of course, with his vast fan base, I’m sure Dr. BLT is still playing plenty of Catch and Kiss, getting plenty of girl’s germs. And frankly, we’re sick of kissing up to him, so, if you’re somewhere out there doc, YOU’RE IT!


Geeze, Bruce, your “Oh, no, I’m not Dr. BLT, but I’m superdalfragileisticexpealadocious honored that anyone would mistake me for such an erudite, wonderful, saintly, piece of shit” is really getting tired and annoying. Why do you deludedly need to promote the utterly unreal premise that most lefties just lurve Doc Sammich? It makes you look even more detached from reality that Pretzelnit Bush, and that’s pretty darned detached. Just stop.

ghosts of infamous sadly No trolls of yore

I’m sorry, Marq, but you were the last one we expected to join in this nascent Sadly No McCarthy-styled ‘wich hunt in ‘wich all newcomers and anonymous contributers are automatically held suspect as sandwich docs.

Believe us when we say: if Dr. BLT wanted to disguise himself, he would do it in a much more clever, sophistocated manner than this—in a manner in which only the top 1% (in terms of IQ) would be able to detect him. Sadly, that includes only Gary Ruppert. Though I’ve never officially tested either of you, I believe you would miss that upper 1% by just a fraction of a percentile point. Unless, of course I’ve seriously underestimated you, which is not beyond the realm of possibilities I suppose.

ghosts of infamous sadly No trolls of yore

“Unless, of course I’ve seriously underestimated you…” should read “Unless, of course “we’ve” seriously underestimated you,…”

Sorry, Freudian slip.


Well, honestly, if you’re considering Gary smart, then I’m a Soopah Genius!!!1! And, in fact, the last I.Q. test I took had results that were… how shall I put this? Most favorable… most favorable, indeed. That’s not to say that I’m necessarily smarter than everyone here–I’m not. And, many of those who come here are very knowledgeable about a wide variety of subject matters of which I know next -to-nothing, but I’m pretty up on a bunch of topics that most of them aren’t (and no, I’m not talking about teh sex)[/bragging]. But, Gary? Oh. Come. On.
If Gary’s intellectual capacity were a roll of toilet paper, it would consist of a single, square sheet of the stuff, and single-ply at that. In other words, not even worth wiping my ass with. Feh!


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