Fuck Ann Coulter. You think she’d give two shits about God if she couldn’t use it as a club to bash liberals?

Homo nups are required in schools?

Damn, I hafta get me a gay wife now.

Does anybody know anybody I could get gay married to real fast? The school year starts in August.

I’m waiting for PZ to get word of this… 😉

She exposes the essential truth about Darwinian evolution that liberals refuse to confront: It is bogus science.

Wow. I never knew the Pope was a liberal.

Wait! I thought Darwinism was the religion that led to atheism (another religion) that led to liberalism? And now I find liberalism is the core religion? Shit, I’m going to have to diagram this to get it right.

Oh, and a big thankyou to mAnn for straightening out science and exposing that fraudulent Theory of Evolution. You know, the one that hundreds of thousands of scientist around the globe support. Maybe you could go on a speaking tour with “Dr.” Kent Hovind. I’m sure that will get the Nobel committee’s attention toot sweet.

its doctrine of infallibility (as manifest in the “absolute moral authority” of spokesmen from Cindy Sheehan to Max Cleland)

Projection, thy name is conservatism.

Wouldn’t Coulter like burst into flames or something if she went into a church?

…liberalism is now the established religion in America.

If that’s true, then judging by the past few elections, there will be a lot of people going to hell.

available now through the WND Book Service at a discount of 32 percent

Is that discount pegged to the preznit’s approval rating? Is this evidence supporting Assparrot’s suspicion that wingnuts are really all parody?

Ann Coulter: Theologian extraordinaire.

fish, the church would collapse and free fall into a sink-hole if Ann set one foot into the structure.

Here in Massachusetts, we’re still reeling from the Mandatory Gay Marriage Act of ’05. The gift registry at FREE MUMIA.com was a life-saver.

So Ann Coulter is a pious, bible-believing Christian woman who doesn’t believe in evolution?

Sadly, she is going to make a mint selling this hateful garbage.

Man, liberalism sucks as a religion. No holidays, no presents, no turkey dinners, no weird mythical figures made of plastic…

I would this was self-parody, but how do you self-parody a self-parody? My head is going to explode.

Next, she’ll reveal the hoax of the pudendum.

No, the female orgasm- that’s the myth.

I’d pay to see the interview where she’s asked to explain antibiotic-resistant bacteria.

Coulter will make money off the book, although the book won’t make money.

All of these right wing books are sold at discounts through conservative book clubs and bought with foundation money.

My girlfriend is a Republican, and she met Coulter a few times, and she says that it’s all an act.

We’ve only talked about politics once, and I was already pissed at her because she said she thought Bush was a great president (in 2006!, and then when I heard that I got even more upset. Coulter might fancy herself a right-wing Andy Kaufman, but there are a lot of people who take her seriously.

My girlfriend and the guy who is the treasurer for our school’s chapter of the Hitler Youth both told me that they liked Coulter because she made liberals so mad. (these are members of the party who refers to its members as the adults.)

So since then, I’ve refused to get mad at her, and instead laugh at the rubes who buy into her shtick.

She’s still a reprehensible, reptilian skank, though.

False Prophet,
The Good Professor has already addressed that shrieking dingbat’s nonsense. It’s on his site – Pharyngula – but I’m too lazy to look it up and post a link. With regards to the evolution hoo-hah, apparently Coulter’s prime source for the “facts” on evolution is one of the leading flat-out liars of the whole Intelligent Design movement. I wanna say it’s the Debemski cat, but look up Prof. Myers’ site. Love that guy.

Funniest part, if memory serves, is one of the regular fundie trolls – who are always shocked when Myers says something rude about religion, like hound dogs being surprised by trees – getting all pissy because we mean ol’ librual Darwino-facists condemn Coulter’s book without reading it. Seriously. I guess he thought maybe Ann was gonna shock everyone and not write the regular lie-filled, hate-dripping screed.

Liberals also told poor Ms. Cleo to take a hike when she wanted to mandate teaching high school kids about astrology and tarot. Ever graceful in defeat, Cleo said “If ya eva change ya mind, chile, den CALL ME NOW!”

Damn, dude. Water out the nose. Have mercy!!

The next time someone gets to go to one of mAnn’s speeches, he/she should say the following:

Questioner: “Ann, why do you think liberalism is a religion?”

Ann: “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh feminists R’lyeh wgah’nagl…”

Questioner (interrupting): “It doesn’t MATTER what you think!”

Smackdown, Rocky-style. Hopefully, entrance music will then play.

So Coulter’s going to bring down Eeeeeevil Librulism by redefining “religion” (and all those words that go along with it, like “sacrament,” “scripture,” etc.) so broadly they lose any meaning?

Pretty much like every word she writes or says.

Well, Matt T., it probably is unfair for us to judge Ms. Coulter’s book before any of us reads it.
Of course, that doesn’t preclude us from predicting the quality of the book, based upon her previous track record.
Therefore, rather than trash her book outright, I will merely say, “It is my considered opinion that the latest book by Ann Coulter will, more likely than not, totally suck sweaty, grimy gopher balls.”

Public school teachers? Pshaw, many of them are Christian and most are not even gay! She didn’t even do the basic research for this book, or has she not heard of Horowitz’s important book on the dangerous liberal clergy known as “college professors?”

Wait a minute here. I’m a card-carrying member of the Church of Liberalism and I’m not getting any anal sex! Geez, what other benefits could I be missing? Did you guys have a puppy cook-off and not invite me? And what happened to the homo nups I ordered?

You guys didn’t excommunicate me for hexing Pinko, did you?!?

I look forward to this book, as it will expose the depravity of the left and the fact that the left wishes to destroy Christianity, returning to the days of paganism.

I can’t wait to get home from work so I can feed some more Christians to my lions in my backyard coliseum.

It is so soothing. Saturnalia, anyone?

These mandatory homo nups, are they just for teachers or do staff have to do it too? How about students? Is there some kind of homo nup initiation ceremony, one of our rites, that we ought to be putting them through?

Liberalism was so much more fun before it became a religion. Now there’s just so much to do.

Paganism is NOT believing in Darwins theory per: the Pope. Believing God has a hand in Nature is the definition of Paganism, Gary. You dumb fuck!

Re: “Coulters schtick is just an act.” I say bullshit. Her schtick is being a fascist. It should always be Ann Fascist Coulter. Call a spade a spade if we’re ever going to beat these pricks.

So I’m still holding out for the revelation that Ann Coulter is the political Andy Kaufman… except, that revelation would be helpful soon, since she’s made some major gains in ruining what’s considered “valid” discourse in society (Liberals are crazyyyyyy blaaawhaaaaaa whizzzzzzzz adfgkuhaeor…)

Nice rant, Brad, & I don’t want to interrupt but…

Does Coulter, herself, use the terms Darwinism and evolution interchangeably?

Now [full disclosure] I was an English major; but other courses were required. And I seem to remember something about Darwinism & the theory of evolution (as it stands today) were two separate things.

If she’s using the terms wrong, and *IF* I’m even remembering this right…That’s still something we can beat her over the head with. Although it’s just a strawman then, and she’s really shameless about that sort of thing.

Anyway, that’s too many ifs for my comfort. So I’m off to PZ’s place to see if he’s addressed this usage.

What’s really going to be interesting is which TV programs (outside of Fox Noos) will let her on to pimp this piece of shit.

In her new book…at a discount of 32 percent…

*12 months pass*…

“At a discount of…247 percent…!!!…Ann Coulter not only gives you 20 dollars right out of her purse, but comes to your house, vaccum-cleans the living room and empties out the cat box! When you think of all the taxes you’ll be saving keeping Ann Coulter gainfully employed and off welfare or in government-financed re-hab, it’s a steal at any price!
…!!!

I’ve been trying for at least two years to get the nickname “Fascist Barbie” to stick to this lunatic. This is a perfect opportunity, folks, so please, help me with this.

nobody:

Five bucks says Maher plugs her.

Did you have to post the book cover? I’m going to have to wash my eyes out with soap.

Speaking of which, it seems obvious that Coulter views herself, on a sex symbol scale of one to ten, as an eleven. When are some fundy parents going to complain that their teenaged sons are likely to go blind or get hairy palms with such bookcovers in the house?

It’s beyond me why she wants to show off her creepy, powdery white arms in every photo. Man, she is a walking gag-fest.

I guess she’s supposed to be the epitome of godliness with her tits resting on the title. Makes sense to me.

Five bucks says Maher plugs her.

I guarantee you that particular plugging already happened, and it cost way less than five bucks.

Anne Fascist Coulter is a Social Darwinist who doesn’t believe in Darwinism? ok.

How blind can these wingnuts be?

If you look closely she’s wearing a tiny gold cross on a chain around her neck. HOW IS THAT NOT LEAVING A MARK?!111!!

I have never received the Holy Sacrament of Abortion. Does that mean I’m not a liberal? Does this mean no man can be a liberal, or does paying for an abortion count (I’m looking at you, Dubya)?

Matt T. et al.: Links to the PZ Myers items: Summer reading, Are you ready for Coulter? (in which Dmbski is indeed quoted thusly: “I’m happy to report that I was in constant correspondence with Ann regarding her chapters on Darwinism.”).

I have never received the Holy Sacrament of Abortion. Does that mean I’m not a liberal?

I think it’s like the Sacrament of Holy Orders; you don’t have to become a priest to be a Catholic.

If liberalism is a religion now, doesn’t that mean Ann’s eliminationist laugh lines are hate crimes?

Please recall, dear readers, that the important thing to remember about Ann Coulter is that she really, really, likes to get fucked up the ass.

Sorry, ass-fucking link here:

http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com/

Anne Fascist Coulter is a Social Darwinist who doesn’t believe in Darwinism? ok.

How blind can these wingnuts be?

I just heard bush on NPR speaking about the letter he got from Amahdinijad. I swear to you he said: “The world will not allow dangerous nations to have nucular weapons. Especially when their president goes around threatning people”.

Irony is not only dead, it’s corpse has been launched into outer space.

As far as Ann Coulter having the intellectual or educational standing to pass judgement on sound scientific theory, that’s simply absurd. If the people reading her book can’t figure out that she has no standing to declare an entire branch of science to be invalid, they deserve to be ignorant, and their children deserve to work the night shift at seven eleven.

I promise you every single argument she advances in contradiction of “Darwinism” (umm, there are exactly NO “darwinists) will have already been thoroughly debunked at the panda’s thumb and talk origins, but without even opening the book I could tell you what they’ll be!!

mikey

So Ann Coulter is a pious, bible-believing Christian woman who doesn’t believe in evolution?

Coulter may prove that there may be no such thing as evolution.

I would’nt fuck her with a stolen dick. Not even Jeff Goldstein’s.

If you look closely she’s wearing a tiny gold cross on a chain around her neck. HOW IS THAT NOT LEAVING A MARK?!111!!

Trade secret: Whenever Ann has to wear a cross or other holy icon, they first desecrate it by submerging it in a mixture of pig’s blood and urine. I understand that she likes to mix it into her cocktails and chase it with the forsaken soul of a misbegotten conservative.

I’m not GODLESS!!! That stupid bitch. I worship Poseidon, who blesses me every night at Red Lobster.

I don’t attend a government school either. I’m a pretty lousy liberal, aren’t I?

omg ann coulter slash fiction?

That’s funny. My copy had a different cover.

returning to the days of paganism

Is this supposed to seem like a bad thing, Gary? I mean, it totally depends on the sort of paganism one is actually discussing, but I do like the fact that you realize that most of the Christian symbolism and holidays were originally pagan and that to return them to their roots might entice some folks back towards religion. The whole cult of the dead thing has gotten way out of hand. Even the dead guy is a little bit pissed about the ways folks are using his name.

I’m thinking that a return to respecting the environment, parenthood, independence AND interdependence, deepening ties to the community by making everyone feel that they have something to offer, taking care of the poor, elderly and infirm, celebrating epic poetry, making good music and the legitimization of extra-relationship sex once each year sounds like a damned fine idea.

Of course, one could choose a less female-friendly, more sex-averse paganism, in which case I don’t wanna play cuz last time I checked we call that Christianity.

Shit. That last one was me.

Hmm, interesting. I missed the part where notable liberals like (Rev.) Martin Luther King Jr., (Rev.) Jesse Jackson, (Rev.) Al Sharpton, Jimmy Carter, Bono, and numerous others were atheists.

Even Charles Darwin never became an atheist.

There is a religious left in this country, but sadly it’s marginalized by both the religious right and the non-religious left.

I’m sure my devout Christian friend who follows the research in the field of paleontology, particularly with the Mesozoic era, as a hobby would be interested in learning more about Anne’s thesis. He’s been in the wrong religion the entire time!

I’ve been trying for at least two years to get the nickname “Fascist Barbie” to stick to this lunatic. This is a perfect opportunity, folks, so please, help me with this.

I used to call her “Klaus Barbiedoll” but it didn’t catch on.

All atheists eat unborn babies? Well I’ve got news for you, sweet cheeks, this atheist is anti-abortion. But then again, I also support voluntary euthanasia, and believe that, one day, people who buy non-fair trade coffee will be shouted at and spit upon in the streets. So I guess in that dichotomous world you live in, that still makes me a liberal atheist scumbag.

All this hate is getting me down. Time for some love: a love letter to Ann Coulter. Now that’s nuance!

spokesmen from Cindy Sheehan

It’s a man, baby, yeah!

…uh…her arm looks about 8 feet long. That’s creepy.

Personally, I attend “FREE MUMIA” rallies all the time, although only for the free fetus barbecue. Tell them Charles Darwin sent you, they’ll totally hook you up.

Shoot, I knew I forgot to get my abortion done this week.

tigrismus: “She didn’t even do the basic research for this book . . . .”

Hahahahaha. Research means reading a few wingnut websites, right? I bet she did that.

Personally I’ll be devastated if Piltdown Man turns out to be a fraud. The last fifty years of biological research depends entirely on the validity of Piltdown Man!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piltdown_man

I think I just figured out what always creeps me out about Coulter’s photos.

They always look like bad Photoshop fakes. The head’s too big for the body, and just out of alignment with the spine, the ever-present Ann’s Apple, the arms are out of scale, the legs are distorted…

Ann Coulter is being forged by bad porn artists!

>>Five bucks says Maher plugs
>>her.
>
>I guarantee you that particular
>plugging already happened, and
>it cost way less than five
>bucks.

You forgot to correct the OP’s grammatical error of switching the subject with the object.

Reba: Hey, that’s my (pagan) religion you’re talking about! I gotta tell ya, our number one holiday – Beltane – is all about sex in the woods.

Paganism rocks!

Wait a minute …

Writing with a keen appreciation for genuine science fiction, Coulter …

There, fixed it.

So if liberalism is a religion, does that mean we’re eligible for tax-exempt status? Because my taxes this year, you know, really blow.

This atheist is anti-abortion. But then again, I also support voluntary euthanasia, and believe that, one day, people who buy non-fair trade coffee will be shouted at and spit upon in the streets.
Posted by: elendil | May 10, 2006 04:47 AM

That’s what happens when you miss the Atheist Cabal meetings, elendil. Remember, we’re supposed to be pro-abortion, anti-family, and in favor of the involuntary euthanasia of all deluded religionists. Get with the program, pal, or you’ll have to return your christian-baby-skin-bound copy of “The Origin of the Species”.

Liberals’ absolute devotion to Darwinism, Coulter shows, has nothing to do with evolution’s scientific validity and everything to do with its refusal to admit the possibility of God as a guiding force.

But the Catholic Church has said that creationism is a pagan myth that undermines the notion of God as a supernatural being.

And the Archbishop of Canterbury, the head of the CofE, agrees, and says that evolution *is* God’s work.

So the Vatican and the Church of England are dedicated to disproving the existence of God?

I’m so confused…

we’re supposed to be … in favor of the involuntary euthanasia

If it was for Ann Coulter… Hrm. I can see both sides of the argument. Let me think about it and get back to you.

But the Catholic Church has said that creationism is a pagan myth..?

Yeah, but they’re just Mary-worshipping idolators, not like real, born-again Christians, who only occasionally bow before Mammon.

christian-baby-skin-bound copy of “The Origin of the Species”.

Gold.

I gotta tell ya, our number one holiday – Beltane – is all about sex in the woods. Paganism rocks!

Can’t argue with ya there. If I was to follow an actual religion, that one has the most appeal. I just find it easier to have a direct relationship with the divine and skip the ritual parts. I am happy to join others in their rituals, though. If folks don’t believe high mass is high magic they’re, well, high. Pagan rituals are by far the coolest, though no one is getting me skyclad without a hell of a lot of scotch first, and that sort of robs the purity of purpose thing, no? Isn’t it interesting that all religions use chanting as a way to focus the spiritual energy? There’s a dissertation in there somewhere, and I’m sure someone has written it. 🙂

I’d pay to see the interview where she’s asked to explain antibiotic-resistant bacteria.
________________________
Ann doesn’t like to talk about antibiotic-resistant bacteria.

Hits too close to home.

Didn’t I read somewhere that the minister of the church she says she attends in New York has no idea who she is and has never once seen her there? I guess you can put that up on the big board next to voter fraud in Florida. Sigh… and people continue to pay attention to this giant skankily-dressed overgrown two-year-old.

I’ve been trying for at least two years to get the nickname “Fascist Barbie” to stick to this lunatic. This is a perfect opportunity, folks, so please, help me with this.

Posted by: Karen

Karen: her boobs are not big enough to make her Barbie, at the best, she could be Skipper.

I’ve been trying for at least two years to get the nickname “Fascist Barbie” to stick to this lunatic. This is a perfect opportunity, folks, so please, help me with this.

Posted by: Karen

Karen: her boobs are not big enough to make her Barbie, at the best, she could be Skipper.

“its sacraments (abortion)

Hell yes! I dunno about y’all, but eating a dead fetus every Sunday is the highlight of my week.”

-Yes because I can see how liberal intellectualism would convey the sacrament of abortion to imply cannibalism. Actually, I don’t know why you would admit to something like that anyway. Aren’t liberals creature-loving vegetarians? “we won’t stomach the feast of a cow, but full-term unborn babies – bring ’em on”. Sadly given the history of liberal arguments, that idea would not be so far- fetched. Liberals literally give people like Coulter the fire and power to make fun of them because it’s SO easy to do.

“-its doctrine of infallibility (as manifest in the “absolute moral authority” of spokesmen from Cindy Sheehan to Max Cleland)
Because clearly, people who have sacrificed loved ones or limbs for their country have no moral authority.”

-Cindy Sheehan had the sympathy and respect of every citizen of this country. She was the one who politicized it by carrying out some laim agenda – driven by liberals who needed to selfishly allow this woman to writhe in her own pain and restrict her from beginning to move on. As a result, she turned out crazy (a perfect representation of the Democratic party). Max Cleland did not lose his limbs in combat. HE DID NOT win a purple heart. Again, liberals lied about this to run a phony war hero as a scam to argue for surrender. I know this might be a little too much for a liberal to understand, but it’s a little something we like to call the truth.

“Also, “science” is a liberal plot to convince white people that the Earth is round and that black people aren’t inferior. You heard it here first.”

Apparently you missed the part where the “science” was labeled “bogus”. But again, I can see how a liberal’s intellect would lead him to interpret such a thought as “all science is bogus and means nothing”.

“I can’t wait to see how Ann Coulter, a nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize in Wingnutology, debunks the cornerstone theory of biology. Really, this should be a blast.”

Biology is a clinical science with theories and documentation that actual scientists support. I’m assuming that you will be the first one in line to buy the book since you “can’t wait to see”.

“Because evolution totally claims to disprove the existence of God, Ann. Geez, I’m glad you spent so much time reading about evolutionary theory before you wrote a whole book debunking it. ”

There are other scientists and philosophers used in the book that have written dozens upon dozens of their own books to denounce the “bogus” theory of evolution. They never get much coverage. The great thing now, is that with a huge megastar like Coulter bringing them in, the process of debunking this crap will finally become normalized. It’s just like when Madonna brings in some crazed musical composer from Africa that nobody’s heard of, or when she introduced “voguing” to the dance floor. These people – through Ann Coulter – will finally have a voice, and the so-called science is actually going to have to be debated openly and honestly.

They can run – but they can’t hide.

Finally, I’m glad Ann Coulter has the power to make you cry like a girl. Should we document Ann Coulter’s effect on whining liberals as “science”?

LOL.

Anybody who ever gets a chance to ask a question to Ann at an event should ask her to describe the time when she asked Jesus into her heart to become her personal savior. Then ask which of the spiritual gifts Paul described in Romans she has. And how she displays the fruit of the spirit or the ideals in the Sermon on the Mount. I’d bet the Christian warrior Ann would have absolutely no idea what you were talking about. It would be one thing for Jerry Falwell or D. James Kennedy to write such a book, but when a completely secular person writes a book about how irrelgious others are, you have to be amazed at the gall of these people.

her boobs are not big enough to make her Barbie, at the best, she could be Skipper.

Uh yeah – Skipper from HELL!

Might I suggest an alternate cover?

That would be http://home.comcast.net/~thedarkbackward/godless.jpg were I know unwise is such webbish ways.

Ummm… I think there is a very religious former president that might disagree with the harpy. Does the name Jimmy Carter ring a bell?
http://www.cartercenter.org/doc914.htm

ps: His book about religious values came out first.

Posted by: LoveToWatchLiberalsCry | May 10, 2006 08:16 PM

I finally figured out who “mAnn hAnnds” reminds me of in that real cover pic.

She looks like an anorexic Fabio.

Re: the new troll: Perhaps it’s more like “LoveToWatchLiberalsCryCuzThey’reLaughingSoHardAt,NotWith,Me”. S,N! eats trolls for breakfast, provided there’s any room left over after the fetus fritatta.

LOL.

LOL*!!!

* literally true

“LoveToWatchLiberalsCry”

Oh, dear dear dear dear. Someone just takes this all a little too seriously.

Major Woody–you forgot “the complete homosexual agenda,” tsk! Don’t make me sic my minion, Aravosis on you.
Oops…

Heh. Just accidently outed myself as the Godfather of teh Ghey. Pay no attention to the above.

Ann Coulter = Jenius.

mAnn Coulter = Felon?

Via Alternet: http://www.bradblog.com/archives/00002807.htm

Disturbing if true. Heh, indeed.

I’m in favor of “Darth Barbie,” myself.

Irene

The tag-line for the remake of the Omen, which comes out the same day as this dreck, is “His day will come.” Coincidence? I think not!