“Central To My Point . . . It Was A Joke . . . Shutup, Okay??”
Jonassandro del Oroburro (17th cent.)
A post in which Jonah the Whale, of all people, repeats an “Algore is fat” joke would be, if only for that, an appropriate target for scorn and ridicule, but, as with most things Jonah, there is always more.
Before Your Very Eyes! [Jonah Goldberg]
From a reader:
From CNN.com this morning. “Gore: Climate changing before our eyes”
Wow! Such profound wisdom from the Man-Bear-Pig. Doesnt the weather literally “change before our eyes” every single day? It was 24 degrees this morning here in Dallas, and, if the weatherman can be trusted, it will hit 44 by midday. Maybe Gore is on to something here? LOL
You know what they say about earth? If you don’t like the climate, wait five minutes and it will change.
If “life imitates art,” well, Jonah imitates jokes. The joke, of course, is that right-wing dimwits, who see every flake of snow that falls anywhere in the world as a personal rebuke to Al Gore, don’t know the difference between climate and weather. Of course, no one actually believed that even the slowest of riders in the denialist trike rally would actually bring that joke to life by explicitly saying that climate and weather are in fact the same thing. But it’s always a mistake to misundestimate Jonah when setting the low bar.
Several hours later, and after an apparent barrage of taunting emails, Jonah apologizes recants clarifies denies lies about the whole thing with a “har, har, of course I know the difference, I was justa joshin’ ya, ya know”
Update: Sigh. Lots of readers complain that either I don’t know, or I am not informing readers that, climate and weather aren’t the same thing. I do know that (though whenever there’s weather that is conducive to the global warming thesis this distinction is lost on much of the mainstream media).
All I can say is, lighten up. I was joshing around.
For any of you who actually believed the claim that taking personal responsibility for one’s actions was a core tenet of conservatism, you probably weren’t told about the unless-I-was-just-joking-around exception.
Al Gore is still fat.
the claim that taking personal responsibility for one’s actions was a core tenet of conservatism
Now THERE was a joke that made me laugh, I tell ya.
DAMN! ALMOST first! Curse my slowness re: uptakes 🙁
Jonah Goldberg has his job because his mother was a secondhand pimp.
Oh, lighten up. I was joshing around.
If only he had said that about Liberal Fascism.
Where did I leave that tray of fried chicken?
Jonah loves unnecessary commas almost as much as he loves pork chops.
If global warming is so true, then how come the Sun is hot? Huh?
I just got back from the grocery store, and their frozen food aisle is — guess what? — still frozen. So much for your loony glow-ball warming.
If global warming is so true, then how come the Sun is hot? Huh?
I don’t know, but Al Gore sure is fat!
Ha! And Sarah Palin knows what to do with fat bears! And fat wolves too!
Those weapons of mass destruction gotta be around here somewhere! Heheheheheh.
All I can say is, lighten up. I was joshing around.
im a fat wolf bwoof bwoof
We begin bombing in five minutes!
All I can say is, lighten up. I was joshing around.
Heh, yup. Climate = weather is actually a pretty highbrow misconception compared to socialism = fascism.
I wish people would stop using me.
Who is Josh and why is he in such bad company?
Whoops. Should have refreshed before posting.
You know who else couldn’t take a joke?
Yo momma is SO FAT, that anthropogenic climate change is a lie!
Ha! And Sarah Palin knows what to do with fat bears! And fat wolves too!
You know who else was a fat bearwolf, right?
All I can say is Johan LoadedHosen doesn’t know the difference between joshing and wanking.
Jonah’s just mad because I’m the only one who he’s ever fucked in the ass.
Oh, lighten up. I was joshing around.
Seriously, though, I fuck him in the ass.
(Damn. Don’t you have a sense of humor?)
You know how Jonah’s wicked into sci-fi? Maybe “Man-Bear-Pig” is a Twilight reference or something. He did seem confused when actor212 emailed him to ask what Al Gore’s weight had to do with anything.
@mark f: Nah, it’s a South Park thing.
“Man-Bear-Pig” is a South Park reference from an episode with Al Gore. Can’t remember all the details though.
Missed it by that much…(“Get Smart” reference, obviously).
Oh. LOL, then?
You libruls just don’t want to admit that YOU LOST THE DEBATE since the e-mails proved that the weirdo “relativity” and “quantum mechanics” stuff is all bullshit made up by the Berkeley faggot latte sippin’ liberal scientist elite manipulators.
Don’t mean to be a buzz kill on a humor blog but have you seen the latest news about Rod Jetton. Looks like it was rape and not rough consensual sex gone bad.
“In a major turn of events, a newly released police report states that the woman was not only allegedly beaten by Republican Speaker turned powerful consultant Rod Jetton, but was allegedly forced against her will, drugged, tied with a belt and raped.”
http://kcblueblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/breaking-police-report-alleges-jetton.html
link includes police report
Man-bear-pig is the horrible but logical conclusion to liberal scientists tampering with the reproductive cycle. Similar to the fiction of Rosemary’s Baby, in which Mia-bear-demon, and Demon Seed, in which Julie-bear-computer, the end result is both disgusting and a let-down due to poor special effects.
I would respond to these critiques of my intellect, but I’m sick I’m tired have to walk the dog I was just kidding who cares anyway central to my point whatever my butt hurts gotta go take a dump.
Al Gore is the brainy kid in the class that the dumb kids can’t argue with.
Now Al Gore is not the brainiest kid in the class by a long shot but this is in comparison to “socialism ooga-booga” Joberg
Looks like it was rape and not rough consensual sex gone bad.
Well, if he had drugged her as the initial reports said, it was rape anyway.
What a sick fucking fuck.
Mind you, Jonah was merely posting an algore-is-fat joke, not making one himself. So clearly he’s not the hypocrite you suggest, rotund though he may be, you haughty libs.
I’d piss on Jonah’s grave when he dies, but I’d have nothing left from laughing so hard at the news of his demise.
Oh, I’m just … well, you know.
Okay, I think you are finding a fault that does not exist (many other faults, to be sure, not just =this=one).
The phrase “If you don’t like the weather in ____, wait a minute”, and variations thereof, is so popular that Jonah’s variation is clearly meant to be derogatory of the original comment.
Are you claiming that it was an unintentional misquote, such as “make like a tree, and get out of here”?
What this whole thing finally proves is that just like we said back then, when you was in school just ’cause somebody did better on the tests or got the ‘right’ answers to the problems or whose experiments came out correctly didn’t mean they knew any more than the people who weren’t good at any of that.
Science isn’t based on how much you know, or what sort of questions you ask, or how you get results, or getting other people to look at your work; it’s based on what you know inside.
Okay, but…
In the spirit of fairness: Jonah cited “earth,” not some specific place, as the set-up for “climate.” Each (earth, climate) is an inflated or more general version of whatever the original cliche is (that place + weather). So it’s possible he really was joking.
I wonder if his lawyer will let him try to mount a “wicked women” defense?
You’re like Jesus or something.
Since he didn’t capitalize “earth”, maybe he meant dirt, because, you know how dirt is always changing.
“Climate” is just a social construct
So it’s possible he really was joking.
That’s giving the dumb sonofabitch too much benefit of doubt. I doubt he knew until someone pointed it out to him. Otherwise, he would’ve been, you know, actually funny the first time around. If you have to explain the joke, then at the very least sharpen up your material, Momma’s Boy.
I would advise his lawyer to discourage the client from mounting anything in a trial.
I think this is a very promising start for the humor chapter of Goldberg’s new book. Or the weather chapter. Or the body image chapter.
It’s a question of choice. God doesn’t condemn the climate, just its behavior. It can choose not to give into temptations of immoral change.
mounting anything in a trial
Veiled beta-test reference.
*sigh*
He posted that email from another wingtard that conflated climate and weather, and said wingtard obviously didn’t know the difference. If he really did know the difference, why would he post such a dumbshit email in the first place?
T&U – Never underestimate the power of douchebagginess.
It’s Jonah. So yes.
I love the “sigh” Jonah extrudes in his update. He is so worn out by the pesky people who actually believe words have meaning.
And, he needs a sammich or a deep fried turkey leg in his left hand.
Extruded sighs are the deep fried turkey legs of climate change fascism.
Being called out on your BS is hard work.
T&U – Never underestimate the power of douchebagginess.
I really should just get that tattooed on one of my hands.
I really should just get that tattooed on one of my hands.
I think tradition requires that you get “hate” – or “h?t” if you’re a four-fingered Simpsons character – tattooed on the other.
FYWP. That was an “a” with a horizontal bar over it.
I think tradition requires that you get “hate” – or “h?t” if you’re a four-fingered Simpsons character – tattooed on the other.
Really? Damn. I was going to get “Al Gore is Fat” tattooed on the other hand. Guess that’ll be my tramp stamp instead.
I was only Jonahing.
Per St. George of the Frisbeetarians, my tramp stamp says “this end up.”
I think tradition requires that you get “hate”
I went for “Left” and “Right”. This was far more helpful.
Well, if he had drugged her as the initial reports said, it was rape anyway.
What a Republican.
See what I did there?
And this:
“The Emm-Ess-Emm makes the same mistake. Why are you holding me to
a higherany standard at all?”Wait…….. Jonah responds to Sadly, No! commentors? Are we the only readers he has left?
(and can I get a ruling on “commentors”? Spell-check doesn’t like it and suggests com mentors, com-mentors, comment ors and commentators.)
“The Emm-Ess-Emm makes the same mistake. Why are you holding me to a higher any standard at all?”
Not that he could be bothered to support his claim with a link. Columns regurgitating talking points with a sprinkling of pop-culture nonjokes don’t come without deadlines, you know.
common taters
I went for “Left” and “Right”.
Every time i look at the London Underground map, I want to know why the area located between “East Ham” and “West Ham” is not called “Anus.” I thought the Brits were logical types.
Look at the east end of the Hammersmith and City line: http://www.tourstolondon.co.uk/london-underground-map.gif
cum ‘n’ titters
The weather forecast for Jonah Goldberg today calls for clouds of Cheeto dust followed by low expectations and random gusts of hot air both ahead of and behind the slow-moving system. 90% chance of perspiration.
Nope.
“Science isn’t based on how much you know, . . .it’s based on what you know inside.”
Classic conservative “gut” thinking vs. “brains”
In his heart, Jonah knows he is funny.
In his heart, Jonah knows he is funny.
I think that’s just gas.
Global warming is just a liberal fascist plot like the theory of gravity which was only fabricated to keep real murkins down.
“I think that’s just gas.”
Fair point.
I wish people would stop using me.
Oh, okay. *puts spurs away*
You libruls just don’t want to admit that YOU LOST THE DEBATE since the e-mails proved that the weirdo “relativity” and “quantum mechanics” stuff is all bullshit made up by the Berkeley faggot latte sippin’ liberal scientist elite manipulators.
HELLO, you forgot COSMIC RAYS.
I have exposed myself to many but have gained no super-powers yet outside the ability to quickly become amused at various ironic elements of our modern political system, things which properly should horrify us all.
You’re like Jesus or something.
WORSE.
Ahh, again with the giggily misogyny and fat-shame from the Sadly, O! crowd, ignoring obviously the fact that Jonah Goldberg is indeed handsome, and his work tearing apart the Chosen One’s ridiculous obsessions- whether they be faulty climate research or blatant woman-hating- is only a good thing for that true blue heart of Appalachia, those Reagan Democrats that will eventually take control over this Corrupt Party and lead it marching in the right direction, the direction Hillary truly had us going in before your beloved Messiah’s math took control and the media and special interests sank Hillary’s chances. I hate to break it to the yuk-yuk crowd, but fat people are real people, whether you like it or not. Then again, this world is just meant to be sliced and diced by people like you, separating us into groups to duke it out in your misogynist rat race gladiator matches. Well I will have none of it, Obots. None at all.
El Cid, you should set about disproving the Theory of Gravity and then you’ll be able to fly. That is how Superman did it I think. No link but I read it on the internet somewhere.
And, he needs a sammich or a deep fried turkey leg in his left hand.
Turkeys eat too many vegetables.
I have exposed myself to many but have gained no super-powers yet outside the ability to quickly become amused at various ironic elements of our modern political system, things which properly should horrify us all.
Oooh, gimme some of those. I still have the capacity to feel crushing despair and I’d rather not.
“Science isn’t based on how much you know, . . .it’s based on what you know inside.”
Classic conservative “gut” thinking vs. “brains”
This is zombie talk. However, McDonnell’s experiments have been discredited and no-one these days believes that memories and knowledge can be absorbed through the gut.
Also, the rumours of cannibalism in the physics faculty are wildly exaggerated.
Thank you, Jonah, for pointing to the fact that other people noticing your mistake makes them the person at fault. I would have assumed otherwise had you not.
Oh, and you’re a dickhead with a remarkably horrible grasp on grammar, especially for someone who writes as a profession.
Iris has a fat fetish.
Ahh, again with the giggily misogyny
Holy crap, Jonah is a Lady-parted American?!! Noooooo!
HELLO, you forgot COSMIC RAYS.
Do you mean “Cosmic” Ray, that hippie burn-out guy who hangs out at the coffee bar and talks a lot about karma and subatomic physics?
I think you’re talking about Original Cosmic Ray, who started a chain of outer space-themed pizza parlors.
For a more detailed discussion of flaws in gravitational theory as they relate to Kryptonic flight ability see: http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=80671
You know who else was a fat bearwolf, right?
Ooh! Ooh! Amphicyon!
WOLVERINES!!!!BEARWOLVES!!!!“separating us into groups to duke it out in your misogynist rat race gladiator matches. Well I will have none of it, Obots. None at all. ”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
Yes, and well done, too. But we just wanted a simple block of flats.
I know a Miss Ogyny and she is often quite giggly. I wonder if Iris knows her too.
“Little Miss Ogyny was often quite giggly” is a line from a famous childrens poem. Does anyone know the rest?
Do you mean “Cosmic” Ray, that hippie burn-out guy who hangs out at the coffee bar and talks a lot about karma and subatomic physics?
He and Dr. Van Allen’s belts disprove anthropogenic global warming totally.
However, McDonnell’s experiments have been discredited and no-one these days believes that memories and knowledge can be absorbed through the gut.
We’re working on synthesizing alzabo, just give us a chiliad or two.
In the portrait, is that done with oil on Whopper paper or water colors on honey baked ham? And are there any leftovers, which is central to my point.
Ooh! Ooh! Amphicyon!
I dunno, that guy looks kinda skinny…..
There are people buried over the bar the Doughy Pantload has set for himself.
RE: Fat. Al Gore may be a bit beefy, but has Jonah waddled into a shopping mall in the last ten years?? Most everyone there makes Al look like an Advocate Men photo model.
“Al Gore is Fat” will be central to his point in his next book about cliches.
“Al Gore is Fat” will be central to his point in his next book about cliches.
That and “if you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes” too also.
I dunno, that guy looks kinda skinny…..
He went on a crash diet before a photo shoot for The Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology.
The “waif look” trend has infiltrated even the most recondite of publications.
I hate to break it to the yuk-yuk crowd, but fat people are real people
Heck, each one of them should count for three or four real people!
The “waif look” trend has infiltrated even the most recondite of publications.
Coke is a hell of a drug.
I went for “Left” and “Right”. This was far more helpful.
So, if you see a guy with six fingers on one hand, that’s Sumt Clyde.
You spell “Right” with 6 letters?
RIIGHT.
Four knuckles on a standard Breather hand, jokesters.
A zombie knows these things. Although admittedly, the pedants here will probably ding me for counting the thumb as a finger. Crunches the same when you bite it off though.
Also, good misspelling of Smut, ain’a?
Smut’s Aussie: “Righto”
Wasn’t he more likely SLOSHing around?
R|ght.
Hey lighten up you guys. I didn’t really want to be on the City Council. I was just jonahing around.
Doughy, I think, is a prime candidate for human spontaneous combustion….
He’s already a flamin’ asshole.
As we all know, Jonah’s mother didn’t give birth to him so much as she just shat him out of her asshole one day.
Oh, lighten up. I was just joshing.
Also, good misspelling of Smut, ain’a?
I assumed that you were referring to Sump Clyde, my elder sister.
Did that guy whom Jonah dittoed ever comment back after making his hero look like an idiot?
Is this the one?
Little Miss Ogyny was often quite giggly,
but her complaints were terribly niggly.
Once while pretending for Hillary,
she o’er-dosed on a bottle of shillery,
and ended up being quite the annoying wench.
Your Sister has extra fingers?
I demand to see a woodcut.
That was easy.
I hz posted woudkut but FUWP.
Earlier extra-finger link is still in WP purgatory, so I’ll try again:
http://mehallo.com/B/MPython_Durer.jpg
SC: that is awesome.
I think what Tintin, the artist, is trying to say is Jonah is America’s Biggest Loser.
Actually, Gore has lost a lot of weight. He looks almost back to his old self.
Jonah, not so much…
“.. you probably weren’t told about the unless-I-was-just-joking-around exception.”
Well, damn.
If that defense had only been tried during the Nuremberg war-crimes trials, there’s probably be a bunch of Nazis around working at the National Review.
Oh, wait…