Another Killer Scoop from WorldNetDaily
Once again, WorldNetDaily tackles the news that liberal reporters are too intelligent to cover:
Is coming national ID ‘mark of the beast’?
Opposition grows to federal law requiring data-filled card in 2008Is the national ID card the next step toward the imposition of the biblical “mark of the beast” Christians believe will be required to buy and sell during the Last Days? […]
“There is a prophecy in the Bible that foretells a time when every person will be required to have a mark or a number, without which he or she will not be able to participate in the economy,” states the Christian website NoNationalID.com. “The prophecy is 2,000 years old, but it has been impossible for it to come to pass until now. With the invention of the computer and the Internet, this prophecy of buying and selling, using a number, can now be implemented at any time. Has the time for the fulfillment of this prophecy arrived?”
The site asks visitors to sign an online petition vowing not to vote for any candidate who does not commit to repealing the Real ID Act.
Hey, guys? I have a question.
Since prophecies inevitably come true no matter what, is there really any point to opposing the National ID Act? I mean, aren’t you just pissing God off by interfering with His Divine Plan? Let’s see if their website’s FAQ section provides some answers:
Will this ID be the “mark” or is it just another step towards the mark? Should I really be concerned?
Answer: Even though this is not the mark itself yet, it definitely is a major step towards the Mark. Furthermore, this is probably our last chance to head off the mechanism before it is actually implemented as the mark. It truly may be now or never.
But, but, but… the whole point of prophecies is that you can’t stop them! You guys are just pissing in the wind! Game over, dudes- Satan wins!
How did they sneak the REAL ID ACT by us?
Answer: They attached it to a must-pass spending bill (H.R. 1268) for our troops in Iraq. Therefore, no one dared oppose it.
See, liberal traitors? Even Satan supports the troops.
[Gavin adds: Okay, what agent of Satan tried to sneak the Real ID Act into… Gasp! It is Sen-sen-brenner… WorldNetDaily: “James Sensenbrenner Working for Satan,” no backs, infinity.]
Why should we fight against the Mark of the Beast if it is going to come to pass anyway?
Answer: Yes, the prophecies are going to come to pass, no matter what. However, we know that there will be nations who oppose the Antichrist during the great tribulation because the scripture tells us that he will fight wars, (see Daniel 11:40-45). We hope the United States is among the nations that oppose him. Furthermore, it is not God’s will that any should perish.
Uhm, then He shouldn’t have smoted all those people in the Old Testament. That kinda undercut His “I don’t want thee to perish” message.
Even if we don’t stop the National ID in the United States, we can inform and warn people in the process, and a great Christian revival can be the result. We also know there will be people who will not receive the mark, and on this basis, we have a solid Biblical reason to fight(see Revelation 20:4).
Ah, that answers my question, sorta.
As for me, I can’t wait to receive the Mark. I hear Satan will give you $666 in free money just for signing up, and Bradrocket needs a new Playstation, baby!
[Gavin adds: Brad, does it ever seem to you as though fundamentalist Christians are sometimes manipulated into supporting political causes through cynical quasi-Biblical arguments that are in fact used to conceal a hidden agenda wholly unrelated to matters of faith? Because if so, do you think we’re not gonna get the free money?]
There’s nothing like a big dose of Revelations to bring about a “great Christian revival.”
I’m worried about those strange runic symbols that many young ladies seem to have tattoed on their lower back extending down to some mysterious nether-region within their shorts. If that’s not the Mark of the Beast, I don’t know what is; just looking at one makes me feel positively devilish! Grr-rowl!
Wait – I thought the bar-coding placed on merchandise was the Mark. Or maybe it was our social security numbers.
For these people the real mark is the one on their foreheads that says “Sucker.”
The whole point of the mark, and why it’s forbidden for Christians to get one, is that the mark itself offends God: to receive the mark is to commit blasphemy as it is a physical sign that one denies the God of Abraham et al. and worships another. It’s not some arbitrary decree, and social security numbers, UPC codes, RFID chips in livestock, ID cards, all the things nutbar literalist fundies fret over, none of these offend God like the mark is supposed to do based on their own freaking text.
NO NO NO- they’ve got it ALL wrong. See, I’ve been reading the “Left Behind” Series, a series of books by Evangelicals about the Last Days. Without a doubt, it’s the most horribly written set of novels I’ve read, but I’m so very, very curious to know what the so-called “scholars” have gleaned from the Scripture.
In any case, this whole Mark of the Beast comes way, WAY after many other prophecies occur that most certainly haven’t occurred. FIRST comes the Rapture, where all kids and Good Christians (not all Christians, even, are good enough for this Rapture, by the way) are zapped into Heaven. SECOND comes the rise of a demagogue, who charms the world and causes a one-world faith, a one-world currency, a one-world government, etc. THIRD comes a whole slew of judgements, which are things like plagues, famines, wars, etc. FOURTH comes the Anti-Christ, who rises from the death of the demagogue. It is the Anti-Christ who puts the Mark of the Beast on his followers. Therefore, there’s no way that the Real ID act is suggestive of a Mark of the Beast.
DISCLAIMER: I do not advocate any thinking person or lover of literature to engage in the reading of this series of books. The reading of these books have been known to cause severe rolling of the eyes, sore throats from yelling, “My God, that was a useless chapter! PLEASE, give me an interesting plot device!”, nausea from the horribly forced character development, and headaches from being hit over the head with every stinking little plot point. I read these books so you won’t have to.
Don’t most folks have a driver’s license?
Brad, I second you on the “you can’t oppose prophesy” thing. I wonder why Cristians hated on the Jews for crucifying Jesus. I mean, it was supposed to happen. If they didn’t, Jesus would have lived to a ripe old age and become a productive and meek member of Roman society. Thank the Jews, don’t hate them!
Since prophecies inevitably come true no matter what, is there really any point to opposing the National ID Act?
I believe that Mira Furlan’s character in Babylon 5 put it best when she said:
Prophecy is a poor guide to the future. You only understand it when the events are already upon you.
Did you guys see where WorldNutDaily broke the huuuuge story the other day that al Qaeda is testing nukes in a province of Pakistan that doesn’t exist?
Bubba, do the books say anything about the AC looking like Sam Neill? It could be important!
(And, please, be careful reading those things. I suggest lots of alcohol. But then I always do.)
this may be somewhat OT but this question has been nagging me for sometime:
whose genitals are bigger, god’s or satan’s?
i tend to say satan because it would be easier to pick up girls (and guys) in bars and satan, being the scoundrel he is, probably engages in that kind of deviant behavior.
on the other hand you got mother fucking god, who created himself and probably endowed himself with a real pistol of a dick.
either way i bet the issue has alot to do with their rivalry.
Yeah, like we’re not all numbers already. Puh-leeze.
I am not a number, I am a free man!
Speaking of the Left Behind books, a couple of weeks ago I went to my public library branch (always a depressing and disappointing excursion) and began perusing the K-L fiction area, looking for “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” (Kundera). I had never read it and thought it was about time. Usually on my library list is at least one such missed classic. Well, no such luck. There were 2 other books by Kundera, and most of the rest of the shelf was taken up by the Tim LaHaye oeuvre. What the Jesus Q. Public?? It makes me absolutely sick. As does, incidentally, the fact that most people buy books rather than using the library, which I see as one big reason why (1) Americans have negative savings and (2) public libraries are seriously languishing for lack of public support. Not to mention the fact that it’s further evidence that people just luv to shop and own. Pew.
Sorry, that was off the topic, but still vaguely related, I think.
that is, “luv to shop and own” individually rather than participate in any collective community pooling of resources and sharing-type venture.
Wait, I thought we were supposed to destroy the environment and start wars in the middle east so that the rapture would happen?
And yes, I agree with Bubba, the Rapture happens waaaaay before the Mark of the Beast. I haven’t bothered to read the left behind novels, but I have seen all three of the Kirk Cameron Movies: Gold, I tell you, pure wingnutt gold.
The best part is when they are explaining the whole prophecy thing and rational arguments against it and they are like “see, here it is in the bible, and here it is happening… to heck with your logical arguments.”
Did you guys see where WorldNutDaily broke the huuuuge story the other day that al Qaeda is testing nukes in a province of Pakistan that doesn’t exist?
Yes, sneaky indeed. How are we going to send troops there unless…we send nonexistent troops.
Muahaha! Oh, America outsmarts Hadji again!
I did a rather extensive post on RFID paranoia for the Skeptics’ Circle that you might find informative.
Speaking of the Left Behind books, a couple of weeks ago I went to my public library branch (always a depressing and disappointing excursion) and began perusing the K-L fiction area, looking for “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” (Kundera).
Why read the book and imagine a nekkid Juliette Binoche when you can just rent the movie and actually SEE a nekkid Juliette Binoche?
I did see the movie, and the nekkid Binoche. I would much rather see the nekkid Daniel Day-Lewis. BTW, the book was much better. All I really remembered about the movie was when they had to euthanize their dog, and Lena Olin with that hat. The movie, in retrospect and now that I’ve read the book, was essentially meaningless.
Bubba: The reading of these books have been known to cause severe rolling of the eyes, sore throats from yelling, “My God, that was a useless chapter! PLEASE, give me an interesting plot device!”, nausea from the horribly forced character development, and headaches from being hit over the head with every stinking little plot point. I read these books so you won’t have to.
Bubba, I’m gonna fuck it up for you — I’m gonna give you the little plot points so you won’t have to read Volumes N to Infinity+7 of the Left Behind series: Whenever it looks like curtains for our heroes, a miracle saves them. No shit; God comes down with the Hyperspace button and plucks them out of danger. Easy peasy Japanesy. You like an all-powerful God? This is for you. You like good plots? Umm, not so much.
Slacktivist writes a usually-weekly column deconstructing the Left Behind series, “so you don’t have to.”
I also have enjoyed Apocamon’s visually stunning rendition of the Book of Revelation. You’ll never think of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse the same way…
You know, I don’t believe in this mark-of-the-beast shit, but hell, if the fundies want to get all up in arms opposing Real ID or any other ID program, I say let ’em at it.
Personally, I’d rather have less paperwork in my life than more, but more to the point, it takes up time they’d otherwise spend harrassing gays, women, and Hispanics.
…a province of Pakistan that doesn’t exist?
well sure, it doesn’t exist any more! That must mean that the test was a success!
Waitaminnute! I thought they wanted the rapture to happen… I\’m confused, but then again if I didn\’t enjoy hearing my brain scream for mercy, I wouldn\’t subscribe to WND\’s email list. Is that how you got ahold of this one too Bradrocket?
sorta OT: As the resident game freak, I\’ve decided to play and review the left behind video game soon because I\’m sure I remember someone requesting it.
“In any case, this whole Mark of the Beast comes way, WAY after many other prophecies occur that most certainly haven’t occurred.”
Fundies try to make it SEEM like they’ve ocurred by attempting to draw parallels between the prophecies and modern events, but try as they may, there hasn’t yet been an incident of hailstones bigger than full-grown men, an entire ocean turning into blood, etc. Also, in Revelation 12:4, the dragon’s tail smacks down to earth one third of the stars. Er, isn’t there some kind of scale issue there?
Former Black Flag frontman and notorious liberal traitor Henry Rollins has a bar code tattooed on the back of his neck. Is he the Anti-Christ?
I’m sure Greg Ginn would say he is, but that’s another story…
However, the bit in Revelation about the star named Wormwood that sickens everything it touches did pan out. In Ukrainian, the name of the wormwood plant is “Chornobyl”.
If the Mark of the Beast happens after The Rapture, and the fundies honestly think this ID card thing is The Mark itself, that means the Rapture already occured. They all got left behind.
Chris Moorehead:
Bzzzzzt.
No shame, though. My dad, who holds a masters in linguistics, was also taken in.
If this is true, then most of the Ukrainian-speaking world has been taken in, because everyone fluent in Ukrainian that I know (including my father-in-law, who has a PhD in chemistry and has written a book on Ukrainian/English transliteration) claims that “chornobyl” is the name for wormwood.
Stranger mass delusions have happened, though — Saddam Hussein being behind 9/11, for instance. And I look upon anyone who celebrates Christmas on January 7 with suspicion.
Okay, all y’all non-believers:
Satan is a fallen angel so he has no genitals therefore no reason for comparative penile quantification. (And since someone asked, Man was made in God’s image — though slightly edited to fit your screen — and you can bet that His are the Godliest ‘nads in all creation.) The real reason for the rivalry is that Christ/God is Windows & Satan is Mac and the biblical prophesies explain it if you’ll only see:
MS = Magnificent Savior, (coincidence? not likely!); Eden went to Hell with Adam & Eve’s exposure to the Apple; this Mark of the Beast thing — the bar-code, RFID chip & National ID number (think “key code”) are just attempts to provide hindrances to Windows (God’s Plan); Linux is either another Satanic venture or the Anitchrist itself, or maybe Linux is the FSM, I’m not sure yet…
Anyway, now that you are aware of the True Word I’m sure you can find a lot more sense in the Bible stories and the fantasies of those non-Good Christians who missed the Rapture Express and have been Left Behind.
I find your God=Windoze equation to be extremely heretical. I am contacting the FLPs.
Oh, and the New York Law Firm as well!
ALL BELIEVERS NEED TO UNITE IN ORDER TO FIGHT WHAT IS COMING, THE RAPTURE HAS NO DATE NORE HOUR. THUS WE SHOULD PREPARE OURSELVES TO BE ABLE TO STAND UP FOR GOD UNTIL WE ARE TAKEN.
AS FOR THE GUY UP THERE BASHING GOD’S PRIVATE PARTS, HE OUGHT TO REPENT AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE. BESIDES HE’S PROBABLY A LITTLE INSECURE ABOUT HIS OWN. (NOT TO BASH, WE ALL ARE IMPERFECT)
I DON’T KNOW WHEN ALL THIS WILL TAKE PLACE, BUT I 100% BELIEVE THAT IT WILL ALL TAKE PLACE BUT IN GOD’S PERFECT TIME. THIS LIFE IS A TEST, BUT IT ONLY HAS ONE QUESTION THAT WE EACH WILL HAVE TO ANSWER WHILE LIVING. IS JESUS YOUR PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOR? DO YOU BELIEVE HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS? WHETHER YOU DO OR DON’T, I’M TELLING YOU HE DID. AND ONE DAY EVERY MOUTH WILL SAY THAT JESUS IS LORD OR LORDS AND KING OF KINGS.
LETS ALL FIND COMMON GROUND TO RALLY TOGETHER INSTEAD OF LETTING OUR DENOMINATION OF CHURCH CHOOSE WHAT SIDE WE ARE ON. WE CAN COME TOGETHER TO REVIVE THE FAITH OF THE WORLD. THE SIGNS ARE GETTING CLEARER AND CLEARER.(NATIONAL ID CARD, JAVIER SOLANA AND THE EU, THESE WARS AND RUMORS OF WARS, RADICAL ISLAM.) THIS COUNTRY HAS DONE A COMPLETE 180 ON WHERE IT STOOD WHEN IT WAS FOUNDED AND DO NOT THINK THAT GOD WILL SPARE THIS COUNTRY FROM PUNISHMENT.
I PRAY FOR EVERYONE WHO TAKES TIME TO READ THIS THROUGH, REMEMBER JESUS SAID, “LOVE EVERYONE, JUST AS I HAVED LOVED YOU.” TO ANYONE WHO HASN’T HEARD A CHRISTIAN SO MUCH AS SAY GOD BLESS YOU, HERE’S ONE FROM ME.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND MY PRAYERS ARE WITH ALL WHO BELIEVE AND ALSO TO WHO DO NOT.