On the Dangers of Courting Lunatics
First Kaye Grogan, now Pastor Swank:
Now that the Spanish have decided to take over our national anthem, watch out, America. This is just the start. And the downright sad factor in all this is that the US government, in its laxity re immigration, has brought all this upon us.
We have a totally weak Congress. We have a Congress that has let down the Red States.
We have a Congress that waddles on illegal immigration, has yet to put a fence between Mexico and the US, permits Muslims to flow through our borders like water rushing through a sieve. […]
Halt this ethnic takeover of America. Stop it and with force, Congress. Stop it, President Bush. Stop it to start reclaiming America.
This passage brilliantly demonstrates the dangers of openly courting lunatics as the base of your political party. Because although you can win elections by promising to deport 11 million illegal immigrants, ban gay marriage, or use the federal government to save a near-brain dead woman in Florida, such a strategy comes with a heavy price. Sooner or later, the crazies who voted for you will want to cash in their chips, and they’re going to be very angry when they find out you can’t deliver.
At its heart, the modern Republican election machine is nothing more than a scam to put money in the pockets of right-wing billionaires. It works like this: the rich conservatives don’t want their taxes raised [Gavin adds: and don’t want government regulation of business], so they want to keep Democrats out of office at all costs. That means they have to elect Republicans. But the problem is, the demographic for people who want to cut rich peoples’ taxes just ain’t very big. This is where the conservative “values voters” come in. The rich Republican elite promise to end abortion, ban gay marriage and seal off the U.S-Mexico border, even though they have zero intention of following through on any such promises. Once elected, they swiftly cut taxes [Gavin adds: and sabotage social and regulatory programs] and then do their best to ignore the concerns of the Christian right. In the past, they’ve blamed their inactions on obstructionist Democrats, activist judges or Bill Clinton’s penis. But now that they’ve controlled all three branches of the federal government for the past four years, they’re running out of excuses.
The best illustration of how this relationship works can be found in a memo written by former Tom DeLay aide Michael Scanlon. Basically, Scanlon and Jack Abramoff needed people to vote against a planned Louisiana casino that was going to provide competition to one of their clients. Their solution? Use the Evengelicals by playing off their dislike for gambling:
“The wackos get their information through the Christian right, Christian radio, mail, the internet and telephone trees,” Scanlon wrote in the memo, which was read into the public record at a hearing of the Senate Indian Affairs Committee. “Simply put, we want to bring out the wackos to vote something and make sure the rest of the public lets the whole thing slip past them.”
Alan Keyes, who is unquestionably one of the wingnuttiest people on the planet, understands this dynamic well:
You’re wondering: Why would anyone in the White House care enough to implement a strategy that protects these left-leaning Republicans? I think the answer lies in the well-known but little discussed fact that the issue of truly conservative judicial nominees stands athwart the fault line dividing the money powers of the Republican Party from the grass-roots providing most of its voting power at election time.
It’s not just the Democrats who froth at the prospect of a nominee who will overturn Roe v. Wade or vote against the wishes of the homosexual lobby. Many big contributors to the Republican Party also look sour at such a prospect. While the preponderance of Republican grass-roots voters are undoubtedly pro-life moral conservatives, the preponderance of Republican money movers – the people who can mobilize the networks of donations from the corporate world – are indifferent or hostile to the moral agenda. I call these folks the “money-is-god” Republicans, MIGs for short. This is appropriate, since money is the key to media access in our politics today, i.e., to the crucial and generally determinative air power in the political wars.
Keyes knows that he and his pals are being played. He knows that the rich guys who call the shots hold values voters in very low esteem. But he also thinks that by applying enough grassroots pressure, the party will eventually cave and enact the Christian Right’s crackpot agenda. More power to him. Everyone needs to have a dream.
I don’t think there’s anything unreasonable about wanting to have the laws enforced.
The fact is that the left wants blanket amnesty for all illegals.
My 4 point plan for this issue.
1. Round up all illegals.
2. Deport them if they can’t pay a fine to make up for their illegal residence here.
3. Build a wall from the Pacific to the Gulf of Mexico.
4. Repeal the federal minimum wage in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
Is it just me, or is Pastor Swank writing in much the same style as Jackie Harvey from The Onion?
This wasn’t an issue for 5 years with the Christo-fascists until Rove made it one. Wonder who gives them their orders on which topic to blather about?
Hopefully this will all go over about as well as Terry Schiavo.
I imagine casino owners also wouldn’t like widespread gambling. By making gambling limited to small areas, they get a wider range of people. Afterall, if the corner drugstore had a slot machine, nobody would sit on a bus for five hours just to use one at a fancier place.
Does Mexico know that illegal Spanish immigrants are entering their country for the sole purpose of infiltrating the US?
The Good Pastor says, “We have a Congress that waddles on illegal immigration,” and I’m not sure what that means. Does it mean the Congress walks like a duck on them? How does that work exactly?
Mark, I know. They’re like little monkeys jumping up to dance whenever they hear the tune. It’s so frickin’ predictable. They just keep embarrassing themselves.
5. Repeal the federal child labor laws in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
6. Outlaw unions in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
7. Raise the retirement age in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
8. Abolish Social Security in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
9. Abolish the federal anti-trust laws in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
10. Abolish tax on corporate profits in order to ensure that America remains competitive on the global market.
11. The happy days are back again!
(In all fairness, I think only points 5 and 8 (and maybe 6) necessarily follow directly from points 1-4. The rest have an intermediate step or two…)
No, Gary wouldn’t want any intermediate steps. He wants his stupidity undiluted.
“Now that the Spanish have decided to take over our national anthem, watch out, America. This is just the start.”
Somebody should contact President Rodriguez Zapatero of Spain. I don’t think he’s aware his country has colonized the United States national anthem.
It may well be that the christian-right voters sit out this election. They’re getting mighty suspicious of the Republican party’s shell game with its decades of promises and basically zero delivery.
Indeed, even the most wild-eyed fundamentalists are beginning to wonder what the hell is going on. Many danced with joy when Bush announced his office of faith-based initiatives, but now see that it was a complete sham.
They know that the Republicans have played them for chumps since 1980. But they will never, ever, under any circumstances, vote for a Democrat. So I think many or even most will spend election day watching TV and eating Velveeta.
The Good Pastor says, “We have a Congress that waddles on illegal immigration,” and I’m not sure what that means. Does it mean the Congress walks like a duck on them?
That’s probably why we call them “the downtrodden”.
That’s probably why we call them “the downtrodden”.
That old canard?
At its heart, the modern Republican election machine is nothing more than a scam to put money in the pockets of right-wing billionaires. It works like this: the rich conservatives don’t want their taxes raised, so they want to keep Democrats out of office at all costs. That means they have to elect Republicans. But the problem is, the demographic for people who want to cut rich peoples’ taxes just ain’t very big. This is where the conservative “values voters” come in. The rich Republican elite promise to end abortion, ban gay marriage and seal off the U.S-Mexico border, even though they have zero intention of following through on any such promises.
My God, that’s a brilliant strategy! I wonder why I didn’t think of it sooner? I’ll have to try it – after all, what could possibly go wrong?
are you absolutely sure that keyes thinks that by adding more pressure he will eventually enact the christian right agenda?
he’s made himself awfully wealthy by losing.
Seriously, that Gary guy has to be made up. Nobody’s that crazy, right?
And by the way, can we all agree to stop calling these wingnut loons the “Christian right”? They are neither. They give all believers a bad name!
Like it or not, they are Christians. There’s no good to be gotten from the game of “Christian Decider”. It’s far too close to the game of “No True Scotsman”.
There are other groups with more objectively measurable standards that they may not belong to, like “Republican”. But there are no such objective standards for determining who is a member of the group “Christian”, because the only standard for belonging to that group has to do with what you believe, and no one can really say what another person does or does not believe.
Regarding point #6 above, illegal aliens have been used for decades to break unions. And, “liberals” indirectly support such union busting by supporting illegal immigration.
It may well be that the christian-right voters sit out this election. They’re getting mighty suspicious of the Republican party’s shell game with its decades of promises and basically zero delivery.
stop dreaming. It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. ive seen nothing that suggests that people who believe that science is anti-god make rational decisions.
I find it simplistic and a bit insulting how some people refer to all Spanish-speaking peoples as “The Spanish.” never mind if you are Cuban, Colombian, Mexican, Peruvian, Argentinian, Chilean, Spaniard, or even Filipino.
The Spanish are from Spain. Spain is in Europe, you know, big country near France and Italy. And as of today, there are very very few “Spanish” (or Spaniards) in the USA. Nevertheless, I’ve seen many idiots call “Spanish” to anyone that speaks Spanish. It’s wrong.
By the same rule of thumb, we should call Haitians “The French,” and Jamaicans “The British.”
It’s even worst when they use “The Spanish” when trying to refer to a racial type. There are 400 million Spanish-speaking people, located in various continents all over the world. There are different races and ethnicities that speak Spanish (caucasian, black, native american and its multiple variations, and even asian) . Unfortunately, it’s very easy for the small-minded simpleton to put an entire chunk of the human race into one box. Typical, nonetheless.
vote against the wishes of the homosexual lobby
What’s wrong with the homosexual lobby? The chairs are all from Ikea, and they’ve got lots of spare copies of The Advocate on the coffee tables.
That’s probably why we call them “the downtrodden”.
That old canard?
Now that’s a Fowl thing to say!! What are you, some kinda Quack? Or are you just Featherbedding, Fusterpockets?
mikey
Gary,
First of all …
Never mind. You suck. You are the stupidest piece of shit that has ever walked.
…”liberals” indirectly support such union busting by supporting illegal immigration.
and where, exactly, do people get the impression that liberals are “in favor” of illegal imigration? More bile from the Republican noise machine – as it is business owners (generally wealthy Republicans) who benefit most from and actually engage in the use of cheap, illegal labor.
The point of the article is on target – Republicans have utterly failed to deliver on their promises because they are a) dishonest about it an/or b) incompetent. Probably a little of both. When your sole objective is to hold power by exploiting people’s beliefs so you can exploit said people for proffit, said Ponzi scheme eventually collapses.
In the face of this Spanish aggression, right-thinking Americans have changed the name to “Freedom Fly.”
3. Build a wall from the Pacific to the Gulf of Mexico.
Not good enough — many of the Spanish can swim. That wall’s gonna have to extend into the Caribbean at least to the continental shelf.
teh spanish!!1!!!!11 re-conquista!!!!! WAKE UP AMERIKAQ!!!1!
Not good enough — many of the Spanish can swim. That wall’s gonna have to extend into the Caribbean at least to the continental shelf.
That’s still not good enough. What if some Mexican can afford a plane ticket? Or maybe they could tie some helium balloons to a lawn chair and float over our wall.
I think we need to refocus the super-accurate, space-age lasers in our SDI program and train their sights on shooting down the illegal Mexican balloon horde.
Think of the children! Won’t someone please think of the children?!?
Hindenburg, that was a genius comment.
To Intercourse the Penguin (one of my favorite sketches of all time):
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
That’s still not good enough. What if some Mexican can afford a plane ticket? Or maybe they could tie some helium balloons to a lawn chair and float over our wall.
So, that’s what Larry Walters has been up to…
A friend of mine from south of the border saw a bunch of college kids get on a plane at the end of their vacation. So he got a Harvard T-shirt, put some books under his arm, flew up to NYC and made a life for himself. Been here almost 40 years. Anyone who thinks a wall is going to have any impact has never dreamed of a better life.
http://www.homelanddecency.com – “marching proudly backwards to our future”
Don’t you get it? All these immigrants from Mexico are helping Islamic fanatofasciterrorists into this country through a sieve! We have to stop the Mexislamist agenda, and only the Star Wars plan – Reagan’s brainchild – can do the trick.
Gary Ruppert is evidently a True Believer in red-line capitalism (wherein we posit that if a moderate degree of capitalism is good as a basis for an economy, then extending its pricipals to their extremes must engender a totally rockin’ economy). He rightly supposes that if we make working and living conditions for American workers suck as hard as those for Mexican workers, they will stop emmigrating (legally or otherwise). That is really the only way to stop the influx, because Nature abhors a gradient, and you can’t fight Nature for long. So if we completely trash America, no one will want to come here. Problem solved.
Unfortunately, the real reason they don’t want Mexicans (or ‘The Spanish’) here is not economics, legal propriety or even simple selfishness; it’s racism. That’s why arguments along economic or legal lines are always so lame; their hearts aren’t in it.
Regarding point #6 above, illegal aliens have been used for decades to break unions. And, “liberals” indirectly support such union busting by supporting illegal immigration.
César Chávez–“liberal” union buster! I like it! We need to design a T-shirt for it…
Really, though, the disconnect from reality never ceases to be breathtaking: on the one-hand, preponderantly Republican businesses import /hire illegal immigrants in an attempt to circumvent wage and worker safety regulations; on the other hand, many “liberals” (make sure you sneer when you say the word) believe that such regulations should apply to whomever is hired in this country, and many “liberals” (sneer) also believe that employers should be held accountable for breaking immigration laws. Yet, somehow, the former is known as “Securing America’s Borders,” while the latter is “Union Busting.” QED.
Muslems! Pourin’ acrost th’ damn border! I seen ’em!
Oh well, I guess to a wingnut, brown is just brown. But I do know this means we can’t afford to build a mesh border fence. Verily, it is easier for an Islamofascist to pass through the holes in a sieve, from Mexico, then for Dear Leader to find Osama.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
I believe this must now be changed to “No one expects the Freedom Inquisition!”
Great post.
Regarding point #6 above, illegal aliens have been used for decades to break unions.
Well, duh. That’s exactly why we need step 6 after having enacted steps 1 – 3. Otherwise getting rid of all illegals would be endangering America’s ability to remain competitive on the global market.
“waddles on illegal immigration”
I also have no idea what this means. It sounds kinda penguinish or illegal in a assault sorta way.
“the Spanish have decided to take over our national anthem”
Those bastards! First they pull out of Iraq on us and now this! What next? Running of the Bulls in Chicago?
Excellent analysis of the Gee Oh Pee. I have argued these exact points with conservacretins and their moral values shtick. The “moral majority” crowd went into a moral circle jerk when Reagan got elected, thinking Roe v. Wade was doomed and he just made a lame attempt at a constitutional ammendment and then dropped it, focusing instead on rewarding the rich. Stupid fuckers!
Nombrilisme Vide, you forgot “abolish contraception” so that people will have no choice but to have more children than they can take care of easily, obliging both them and their children to work work nor dare to shirk, with no time or energy for protesting. (this will also have the happy effect of providing more child laborers to fill up the gap.)
the demographic for people who want to cut rich peoples’ taxes just ain’t very big. This is where the conservative “values voters” come in
There’s a perverse pleasure in watching this take place. Sure, we’re all getting screwed by this unholy alliance, but they’re screwing each other as well. Sooner or later the Christians will realise that you can’t serve both God and Mammon at the same time. But by then, it will be too late. Evangelical Pentacostalism will forever be remembered as the religion that excused a war based on lies, and brought a nation to the brink of destruction. With a bit of luck, they will be the final nail in “Christianity’s” coffin, and we’ll never hear from that ignorant, hateful religion again.
Not good enough — many of the Spanish can swim. That wall’s gonna have to extend into the Caribbean at least to the continental shelf.
Packs of heavily armed attack squid. Let’s get on it, people!
And, you know, every time I read or hear Alan Keyes, the They Might Be Giants song “Kiss Me, Son Of God” goes through my head.
I also have to say, I’ve always considered it amusing that the GOP’s target groups are social conservatives, Johnny Rebs, libertarians, and plutocrats.
It’s a good thing only the social conservatives can be bothered to turn up for rallies, because if they all ran into each other, they’d fight like six cats in a small bag.
No good policy idea has ever started with the words “Round up…”
Wait, except the idea to eliminate the penny.
The Gulf of California is already lousy with swarms of Humblodt squid (some pics here). We just need to stock the Gulf of Mexico with ’em. ; )
Um, that was supposed to be “Humboldt squid.”
Squid?!? Quick, somebody get PZ Myers on the phone!
Not good enough — many of the Spanish can swim. That wall’s gonna have to extend into the Caribbean at least to the continental shelf.
Packs of heavily armed attack squid. Let’s get on it, people!
Or fricking sharks with laser beams on their heads.
And who’s going to build that wall, Gary? I don’t see a lot of white keyboard-chained pasty-faced Cheeto-sucking mama’s boys working in construction here in California. Or Texas. Or — oh, the hell with it; smitty at 7:28 p.m. said it!
Shorter Gary:
1. Round up all illegals.
2.
3. Profit!