Stay. In. The. Boat.

I’ll read it tomorrow. I think the taste of vomit would keep me from sleeping well.

We’re going to need a bigger boat. To not get out of, I mean.

Maybe two boats. I’m staying on the ocean, where there are only sharks & krakens.

And Welcome Back, Gavin.

Only a few weeks ago, McCain was proclaiming to anyone that would listen that if he were in charge of the Afghanistan Campaign and had all the troops he wanted, it would all be over in 12 months flat. Now he’s proclaiming to anyone who will listen that it’s a mistake to promise an end to Afghanistan Campaign in 18 months’ time. It’s almost enough to make one question his integrity.*

* For values of “one” that do not include “US journalists or TV interviewers.

I like her new hat…

Karl Rove isn’t anti-American, he’s just on the other side.

Call me a rebel, but I’m gonna trust the shorter here.

Karl Rove isn’t anti-American, he’s just on the other side anti-human.

If the President Keeps His Nerve, He’ll Get the Country’s Support.

So sez the main advisor to Mr 20-percent.

Well, I’ll be going over there to fight for our freedom soon, so shut up.

A fine addition to the lexicon. They have been so highly subvorsive of Obama’s escaltion decision.

So them rethugs want the White House social secretary to testify about party crashers, but still give Karl a free pass for subverting justice via the U.S. Attorney firings?
~

In other news, Wanchor Baby is poutraged over a Congressional Black Caucus story, in a post tastefully adorned with an old picture of Malcom X. Includes bonus link to a post by Victor Dickus Superbus Handjobbus.

The subvort justice too, ifthethunder…

Damn, Ted.

In the meeting, Ms. Waters berated the administration for not doing enough to help minority-owned businesses, mentioning specifically a New York broadcaster that couldn’t get a loan reworked.

Less than two weeks after the meeting, the company, Inner City Broadcasting Corp., said Goldman Sachs Group Inc. agreed to restructure the loan.

Poor widdle Goldman Sachs!!one1!

It’s NO FAIR
~

Or Obama could just don a cute little flight suit with XtraBulgee(R) jock.

Or Obama could just don a cute little flight suit with XtraBulgee(R) jock.

With “Fear of a Black PENIS” as the soundtrack.

Only a few weeks ago, McCain was proclaiming to anyone that would listen that if he were in charge of the Afghanistan Campaign and had all the troops he wanted, it would all be over in 12 months flat.

When he said “it”, he meant the world. Because of the nuclear holocaust. He’s a man who knows how to get things done. Things like Armageddon.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

Karl Rove isn’t anti-American, he’s just on the other side anti-human inhuman.

Fixed!

Earth to Republicans: when it comes to Afghanistan, nobody in America gives a flying fuck about “winning.” “Getting the fuck out of,” on the other hand, has been polling pretty high for a while now.

Hey folks! OT but there’s an interesting story here, about how a mean lesbian private school teacher made an investment banker’s son cry.

I especially love the headline.

C_X,

The best, most reasonable solution I’ve heard this past week is to gather all the troops in the south of Afghanistan, spend the winter kicking the absolute crap out of anyone crossing the border with Pakistan, while negotiating a treaty with the Taliban that keeps them out of power and out of our hair.

Then bring the troops home in June.

Well, I’ll be going over there to fight for our freedom soon, so shut up.

1. If this is true, thank you for your service. Straight up, no snark, please come home in one piece.

2. Sorry to disillusion you, but you won’t be fighting for my “freedom”. No one in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Panama, Serbia, Grenada, Viet Nam, or Korea ever threatened my freedom. Terrorists may threaten my life, but that’s a whole different thing (although, statistically, I am 8 times more likely to be killed by an American police officer than by a foreign terrorist. )
3. We will most certainly not “shut up”. It is ironic that you would even consider making this demand. If you really have convinced yourself that you are on some noble quest to defend “Freedom, Justice and the American Way of Life”, you must first and foremost be concerned with freedom of speech. Websites like this one are the absolute epitome of that freedom. We are gloriously, blessedly free to rant and snark here, and you are equally free to disagree with absolutely every word. You are even free to troll here, but the mods are equally free to ban your ass when you get out of line. Freedom is messy like that.

Jen, thanks for that link. From the article:

Last year, Ms. Lovett suggested that Homecoming should be at a girls’ field hockey game rather than at a football game. She also complained that there were no women on the football team and poked her nose into the yearbook with nonsense issues that she has no business raising. So it should be no surprise that Ms. Lovett (Head of our Diversity Committee) is the aggrieved party who complained about the issue of “negative gender stereotyping.”

[…]Last year, she commented to an 11th grade history class including my son that somehow both Lehman and Barclays made a bunch of money on the Lehman bankruptcy, and that all investment bankers were “sleazeballs” and dishonest. With tears in his eyes, John Ed called her out in front of the class and said his dad worked for Lehman Brothers and had been working around the clock trying to save 11,000 jobs and that she had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

So a teacher who makes what sound like some innovative suggestions about school spirit and who holds an opinion reflected by much of the country outside of this elitist little bullpen of the genetically-damaged scions of society’s “best” should have her job jeopardized by fucking New York Magazine????

Paul Mantarakis said,
December 4, 2009 at 14:38

Well, I’ll be going over there to fight for our freedom soon, so shut up.

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

I am 8 times more likely to be killed by an American police officer than by a foreign terrorist.
I’m just curious if this number reflects only innocent bystanders killed by police or all people killed by police.

When a small group can force their agenda on the whole school, we have lost control of our school.

I’m guessing that homecoming was not held at a girls’ feild hockey game and that there are still no girls on the football team. Someone needs to learn the difference between someone voicing their opinion and someone actually forcing their agenda.

Sirius,

I found the underlying data. I’m not sure where they get their figures from.

If I’m reading that chart correctly, you are INFINITELY more likely to die from a policeman’s weapon (434, 1 in 8,848) than from a terror attack (0, odds 1 in 0).

By the way, you are twice as likely to die in a pool of your own vomit (872, 1 in 4,404) than by police action.

Well, I’ll be going over there to fight for our freedom soon, so shut up.

So you passed the test? What was your score?

By the way, you are twice as likely to die in a pool of your own vomit than by police action.

What are the stats on wingnuts drowning in their own bile? Or suffocating from having PENII shoved down their throats entirely against their will?

It’s sad enough that Obama and Rove are essentially on the same page. Now Rove can watch Obama fail and make it an issue for Republicans. They’ll go with the John Kerry “We’re going to fight a smarter war” campaign.

That apparently counts all people killed by police. So as someone who does not habitually commit armed robberies I’m guessing my odds of being shot by the police are somewhat less. Also, as someone who works at an airport my odds of being killed by a terrorist are probably a bit higher. Still, it’s not something that worr… OMG!!! Bring Back Cheney! Nuke ’em all! I’m ASCEERD!!11!!1 Help me Obi Rove you are my only hope!

Steerpike said, re Paul MantaRay and his wee pretendy am-too-a-soljah fantasy, “If this is true…”

Stop right there. Thank you and please-come-home-in-one-piece to everybody who’s actually serving, sure. But Paul is a big fat lying liar who lies, as has been demonstrated over and over again.

What I can’t quite tell is what he’s up to. Is it a) that he thinks we all hate the troops, and he wants to goad us into showing it; b) that he thinks he’ll gain enough respect not to get called on his racism, homophobia, and utter mindboggling stupidity; or c) that he’s so delusional he’s actually convinced himself that he IS in the Army?

Whatever it is, don’t anyone be fooled into thanking Paul for anything, offering him the slightest smidgeon of respect, or mistaking him for someone who isn’t a lying fucking chickenhawk.

Or suffocating from having PENII shoved down their throats entirely against their will?

N__B

Inhalation and ingestion of other objects causing obstruction of respiratory tract, (3,109, 1 in 1,235)

Whoa! They may have a point!

Altho it should be noted that includes wearing the ball gag while in the gimp costume. That migth not be entirely against their will.

My comment got lost somewhere. But thanking Paul for his service is like thanking him for sending good weather. He’s not a soldier, he’s a lying fucking chickenhawk, as has been demonstrated over and over again.

Actor –

“Costume”? I don’t think you’re getting into the spirit of the thing.

I’ll read Aikon, I’ll read Schlussel, and god help me I’ll read Malkin, but I will not read Rove.

Karl Rove isn’t anti-American, he’s just on the other side anti-human.

An analysis was done of Mr. Rove at a high-qualtiy medical facility. They found that unlike almost every other human being in the world, Mr. Rove’s outer skin is not composed of normal exterior skin cells, but is instead apparently in a freakish metastasis accident entirely made up of the kind of cells that line the interior of a human rectum. A rancid, disgusting, fecal spattered rectum. In addition, Mr. Rove’s brain could not be found, and his penis was discovered to be one of the smallest organs of his body, being so shriveled and pathetic as to be almost nonexistent. Also Mr. Rove’s mom needs to get her shit out of my apartment or I’m going to chuck it down the disposal chute.

Of course, all the talk about “end dates” or “withdrawal” from Afghanistan is absolutely meaningless. As Bill Maher has pointed out, the US military is like herpes, or Irish relatives: Once we move in and establish ourselves somewhere, we NEVER leave. Every country we have ever been at war with, or conducted military operations in, we still garrsion. You name it: the the Pacific, Asia, Europe, Central and South America–if we ever built a base there, we still have a base there today.

With the one, glaring exception, of course: Saudi Arabia.

hmmm

“What happened to our ability to laugh at ourselves and have fun?”

Actual quote from investment banker demanding the firing of a teacher who called investment bankers “sleazeballs.” (From Jennifer’s link above.)

But thanking Paul for his service is like thanking him for sending good weather.

I don’t know if your comment was in response to mine but rest assured, I was not thanking Mr. 10th Mountain Division of the Screen Beret Action Figure League and Special Armored Short Bus Squadron.

Really.

“What happened to our ability to laugh at ourselves and have fun?”

Okay, dude has a point. In the interest of lightening up, I’m willing to chuckle knowingly at my sense of humanity while he dies in a fire.

I believe the “thanking” comment was in response to my post, and I stand by what I wrote. I did preface it with the qualifier “If this is true”, because I do have my doubts.

If it is true that trollpants is actually fixing to be deployed, he deserves to be respected for his commitment, even if his motivations are misguided. That doesn’t mean we have to respect his intelligence, or his ugly troll-posting.

Screen Beret Action Figure League

OK, that’s a keeper.

I’m willing to chuckle knowingly at my sense of humanity while he dies in a fire.

I’ll even go so far as to state for the record that I will guffaw if he’s ever tossed into a coffin full of black mamba snakes.

“What happened to our ability to laugh at ourselves and have fun?”

I dunno, Wall Street blowing up the fucking planet might have had something to do with.

I believe the “thanking” comment was in response to my post, and I stand by what I wrote. I did preface it with the qualifier “If this is true”, because I do have my doubts.

Ah. Reading posts often helps clarify these things. Often.

And, if in fact such service is truly being rendered, I join you in offering heartfelt and sincere thanks and the wishes to come home whole and sane, metric ton of salt applied on a contingency basis, etc.

PRESIDENT Bush

MR. Obama.

St. Karl, Patron Saint of Tortured Logic and Tortured People.

Karl Rove. Fucking traitor.

It’s probably best that I will in all likelihood never meet Karl Rove, because, honestly, that’s a face that you just couldn’t stop slapping.

Also, Paul: hate to tell you this, buddy, but you wouldn’t be fighting for my freedom. Sorry.

“I’ll even go so far as to state for the record that I will guffaw if he’s ever tossed into a coffin full of black mamba snakes.”

Or we could all titter behind our hands if he’s buried alive in a coffin filled with maggots.

Karl “My Necrophilia Is Just An Alternative-Lifestyle-Choice, So Get Over It, America” Rove proclaimed that he would “applaud” Obama if he announced a troop increase in the 20-35,000 range.

Is there perchance an obscure Zen Koan that relates to the sound of no hands clapping?

gather all the troops in the south of Afghanistan, spend the winter kicking the absolute crap out of anyone crossing the border with Pakistan, while negotiating a treaty with the Taliban that keeps them out of power and out of our hair

That might work, but I still like my “Hardcore Rootin’ Tootin’ Poppy-Farmer Payola” scheme better – it’s way the hell cheaper, a lot fewer people (including innocent bystanders) have to get smoked, & it takes away the Taliban’s potential ability to renege – or to covertly finance a Stateside attack on the side. It’s not as if the Taliban has an awesome sideline in crocheted seat-covers or black-velvet Elvis portraits to fall back on at this point.

No Opium For Terrorism = no funds = one tits-up Taliban = no war.

Oh, & if you play it right, Afghanistan gets something it hasn’t had in more than 30 years (& has NEVER had for any signifigant length of time): a real middle-class … & whether you love ’em or hate ’em, you have to admit that nothing quietens down a society quite like a big fresh juicy bourgeoisie.

Plus my unique, sassy & incredibly whoop-ass scheme has already been field-tested with generally good to excellent results about, oh, ten thousand or so times throughout recorded history.

Did I mention that there also just happens to be a global shortage of legal opiates right now? An aging & increasingly-ailing humanity could really use some relief in the hard years to come.

St. Karl, Patron Saint of Tortured Logic and Tortured People who torture.

Ack you race eee police

I’ve noticed that whenever someone makes a big noise about how the’ve fought for/are fighting for my freedom, it is because they are unhappy about me excersising that freedom. Go figure.

But, jim, your plan might result in people using drugs!!

When a small group can force their agenda on the whole school economy, we have lost control of our school economy.

Fixxed for great justice.

I’m just curious if this number reflects only innocent bystanders killed by police or all people killed by police.
By definition, bystanders killed by police must have been guilty.

Or we could all titter behind our hands if he’s buried alive in a coffin filled with maggots.

But it would be hard not to rofl if he got hit by a toilet seat falling from the space shuttle.

When a small group can force their agenda on the whole school, we have lost control of our school.

Unless those people are Republican bankers(the ‘b’ is also correctly pronounced ‘w’), then it’s all good.

Does anyone else remember one of the Pres. debates last year (it might have been the 2d one) where McCain stated clearly several times that IF he won, he (McCain) would “know how to get bin Laden”? Too lazy to research it, but I know for a fact that he said that.

So…. what’s up with that?

Because John-boy lost, now he’s not gonna share with the new CiC exactly HOW to go grab ObL?? I believe McCain also farted out how he knew how to decisively end the conflict in Afghanistan, too.

Don’t know why this photo reminded me of that. Perhaps it’s the giant sucking sound of the NeoCons in general. Pathetic assholes, one and all.

But yeah: love Condi’s hairpiece.

That photo’s just calling for some ‘shopping, with Turdblossom’s right arm repositioned to 7-o’clock and a penis popping out of the zipper.

Maybe with a little jiz dropping from Condo’s coif…