Pastor Pussycat, Kill Kill
Swank (c.1700)(mezzotint)
Pastor Swank nails it:
MUSLIM OBAMA VS. MUSLIM AFGHANS VS. MUSLIM PAKISTANIS, ETC. = SPLIT PERSONALITIES
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
Marxist Muslim Barack Hussein Obama’s personalities are being split more and more with every passing presidential day.
The reason is obvious: He is fighting his own—Muslims. He is vowing in presidential speeches to defend America against his Islamic ‘family.’
And here we thought Victor Tiberius Cuchullain Somsak Magneto Palpatine Hanson was nuts to say stuff like this about Obama’s Afghanistan speech:
Concluding the war seems to be the theme, as opposed to winning the war. ‘Breaking the momentum’ of the Taliban, unfortunately, is not the same as crushing and humiliating the enemy.
And hearing the lamentations of the women, but we digress. Hanson at his craziest is the picture of sanity when compared to Swank. We know this, yet we can’t look away … back to the good Pastor:
As time moves along, his personalities’ split is going to spread and spread some more until he’s going to be stretched maximum apart, that is, till it hurts on every level.
How far can the personalities stretch-plus-stretch until he’s nothing but fine-gauze tissue?
Not far at all, which is handy, seeing as how Pastor Swank could use some tissue to clean up the mess after contemplating Obama being ‘stretched maximum apart … till it hurts on every level.’ Soap droppers global, be warned.
Islamic Obama thought when presidential running, spurred on by mob hysteriacs, that he as messiah acclaimed could solve any problem—absolutely any problem.
Well, at least Swank isn’t jumping on that whole Obama-as-Spock bandwagon.
Obama lies. That is an Islamic virtue.
In that lying network, one then lies to himself. Obama, with wifey Michelle whispering accolades into his ears, kept trusting his egocentricity to be normal. His egocentricity was anything but.
Much is the mess to be untangled here. But Swank’s basic point seems to be that Obama is lying about escalating a war in a Muslim country despite, you know, demonstrably escalating a war in a Muslim country. It just has to be a trick. Perhaps he plans to stitch together all the limbs blown off by his Predator drones into an army of Frankenmuslims … to take over the world!
Obama is one of the most unhealthy persons on the planet—mentally so.
The above is like rain on your wedding day, if you happen to be an almanac writer.
Of course, his Marxist Muslim mentors, headed by ‘foster father’ Jeremiah Wright and coached by Nation of Islam founder Louis Farrakhan, stroked The Boy silly.
Deep are the daddy issues with the Swankster. And all the spreading apart and the stroking … yeesh.
He was a marvel, they logged. He could never fail. He was invincible.
‘He was a marvel, they logged.’ Now we’re picturing Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan dressed as lumberjacks, which is some high-octane crazy.
Now crass reality is pressing in upon all that crazy compilation. Reality has pushed him to make his public statement concerning Afghanistan, for instance. Hinging on that is the extreme, threatening topsy-turvy in Pakistan. Hinging on that is the power-hungry Muslim world analyzing Obama 24/7, their spy in the Oval Office.
Imams watch. Sleeper cells become more and more curious. Suicide bomber slugs hype bloodthirsty urges. Muslim despots attempt to figure out Obama’s designs for Islam World Rule.
Step 1: Raise troop levels in Afghanistan. Wait, that can’t be right …
All the while, Obama has to satisfy left-of-left Dems in Congress and those flung about the Republic’s state offices. Liberals prize his win but are now nervous about cementing the power.
With all that, Muslim Obama knows that the most dangerous position he has put himself in—and it is his fault that he is right there near hell’s edge—is what to do to satisfy his chief comrades. Those are Allah-cultists circling the planet.
Allah-cultists — they’re like enormous space vultures waiting for entire continents to die of thirst so they can swoop in from the Van Allen Belt and feast.
How long can he hide from non-Muslims his ultimate allegiance to Muslims?
Probably for as long as he keeps sending increasing numbers of non-Muslim troops into Muslim countries to fight Muslims. Just saying.
How long can he play the democracy-friend while actually serving Allah?
Six years? Five days? Thirteen parsecs? Forty-seven cubits? Is this a rhetorical question?
How long can he play Protestant while in truth surrendered as a Koran disciple?
The Afghanistan debacle brings this all into increased bold relief.
Doesn’t it just. You have to be really, really sane to look at the troop surge in Afghanistan and get MORE confident that Obama is plotting to conquer the world for Islam. Really sane.
The Nostradamic Period of the Swankgali.
OK, that’s it: this Swank dude can’t possibly be for real. I was willing to suspend disbelief for a long time, but overkrill is overkrill.
Apparently Swank is an expert on (1) poorly-integrated personalities under great stress; and (2) weird belief systems that masquerade as legitimate variants of christianity.
Good GOD. Even ignoring the content of what he’s saying, the writing here is just horrendous.
“When presidential running?” “Mob hysteriacs”? “As messiah acclaimed”? In the same overloaded sentence? It’s like I’m taking crazy pills.
Overkrill pills, dude. Eight-year-olds do better in the sane world.
Since the swanky pastor knows President Obama so well, why doesn’t he just specifically predict what the President will do in the coming months and years?
I would like to ask Pastor Swank one simple question: “English, motherfucker — do you speak it!”
Profligate prophets profit prodigiously, and Swank swims smugly in that lucrative lane.
Funny how it’s Swank—not Obama— that reminds me of my schizophrenic uncle with multiple personalities, when he was on acid.
Maybe he’s just smoking a shitload lot of meth. and crack. and robotripping.
How fucked up do you have to be to give this guy your rapt attention and send him money? They don’t let people watch this stuff in the puzzle factory, do they?
Abed I am heading now, but vigilant I am sure our Right-Thinking compatriots will be in my absence temporary. Sleep is a pause necessary in our struggle for justice eternal, so adieu I bid my fellow Soldiers until the cleansing dawn.
Thing about Swank is that, despite his horrible writing, there are occasional moments where the shredded syntax and mangled metaphors turn out a sort of poetry.
Of course, I watch mid-century PSAs for fun, so what do I know.
Shameless shilling time:
Actually, Swank’s poetry kind of reminds me of the Alfred Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry Contest.
And by “Swank’s poetry,” I mean “Swank’s writing, when it’s so absurd as to almost be poetic in a weird way.” Maybe I should go to sleep.
“Suicide bomber slugs“!?!?!
“I, uh, we resent the implication that we explode. At all”
That’s some hardcore crazy, there… Is it possible for Swankenstein to actually be off meds???
at least Swank isn’t jumping on that whole Obama-as-Spock bandwagon
From the quotes provided, I think he’s angling more for Obama-as-Plasticman.
Maybe. Hard to tell anything from that collection of randomly-generated words, really. Also.
So we could get rid of suicide bombers by throwing salt at them, or by leaving out a saucer of beer? Think of the savings!
It only takes him two words to enter the realm of the absurd, cognitive dissonance, inpossible.
And yes, it usually does require a minimum of two words, unless the first word is something like ugga-woo-nah-zzrtre.
Someone should tell him that Obama is a lizard person. Just to see what would happen.
Now I’m going to rack my brains to come up with a joke featuring Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walking into a bar…
Surely you jest. Marxists and Muslims, along with Catholics, Democrats, non-movementarian Republicans and evangelicals, the Astor family and everyone associated with anything named after it, the Jews, and a vague but not quite comprehensive list of swarthies, are all members of the global conspiracy among people who deliberately disbelieve in Swank’s obvious, perfectly logical and denominationally precise credo.
Your problem is that you think they specifically believe in something incompatible with Bircher Jesus, but that’s not true of anyone: everyone knows Bircher Jesus is real and right, but those of us in the global conspiracy are engaged in a deliberate campaign of falsehood against it, I guess because we hate God or something, I’ve never been wholly clear.
Also the Gays.
Also, the belief that Islam is basically all about teh liezors reminds me of a pet subject of Slacktivist (Fred Clark) – Corrie ten Boom’s The Hiding Place. As he says here, there was no ethical dilemma whatsoever in lying to Nazis in order to satisfy their conscience and keep Jews safe; ranting and raving about “situational ethics” ignores what has always been the fundamental Abrahamic position, which is that man is a sinful creature inhabiting a sinful world and moral perfection is absurdly vain — and moral perfection as an inevitable product of not violating trivial rules is particularly moronic and ignorant, the sort of thing Celtic cavemen had figured out, let alone the earliest Hebrew scholars.
The best thing, to my mind, is that Swank and co. will bloviate about both situational ethics and the inevitability of the Gay Gestapo beating down his door for preaching from the pulpit, even though they haven’t done shit to, say, the Westboro Baptists. How an obscenely casual liar can get that worked up over even a whiff of innocent falsehood is beyond me; it takes more self-delusion than usual, I guess.
I chuckle with glee and the consternation you liberal leftists feel as your Boy King God implodes and is exposed as the traiter he is.
These legions of Obama split-aparts remind me of the endlessly multiplying buckets and brooms in the Socerer’s Apprentince sequence in Fantasia. Maybe the good pastor got into the bad acid before popping in the DVD.
While reading the Swankster one can almost see the synapses failing and dropping from his ears onto the rug where the cats bat them around until there’s no life left in them at all.
How far can the personalities stretch-plus-stretch until he’s nothing but fine-gauze tissue?
That will make him a Muslin extremist, for sure.
This is like analyzing the subway guy’s ranting.
Blind we are, if creation of this
cloneMarxifascisthomobortionjihadterorrboogboogantichristsithnazicommiepinkofaggityfagfagnigger army we could not see.his personalities’ split is going to spread and spread some more until he’s going to be stretched maximum apart, that is, till it hurts on every level
Hmm. The fake link to hello.jpg with “Pastor Swank” as the ALT tag worked in preview…
I chuckle with glee and the consternation you liberal leftists feel as your Boy King God implodes and is exposed as the traiter he is.
Shouldn’t you be studying math for that oh-so-difficult entry exam to the National Guard?
The fact is, I chuckle with glee and consternation at you libs. I mean, you are the ones who are consternated as your God-Emperor is cast down from the office he was “elected” to so that Sarah Palin can take her place as the annoited ruler of America, also. Bookmark it, libs!
Marxist Muslim Barack Hussein Obama’s personalities are being split more and more with every passing presidential day.
Needs additional alliterations.
Also.
This is like analyzing the subway guy’s ranting
That’s an insult to crazy people everywhere! Take that back!
I chuckle with glee and consternation
A high fibre diet will help with that, Paul.
Pastor Swank writes like he’s a Marvel comics villain from the 60s or 70s.
But is he a Fantastic Four villain:
Or an X-Men villain?
“Islamic Obama thought when presidential running, spurred on by mob hysteriacs, that he as messiah acclaimed could solve any problem—absolutely any problem.”
As translated from the Welsh? WTF uses this kind of syntax in English?
Now I’m going to rack my brains to come up with a joke featuring Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walking into a bar…
OK, so….Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walking into a bar…bartender says “Get the FUCK out of here!”
Pastor sWank only has one personality & it is 100% Certified Loony.
You know what would be funny? sWank on one of those conservo-cruises. There’d be no escaping him and people would eventually start leaping overboard to get away.
WTF uses this kind of syntax in English?
In fairness to Swank…hey, I really AM a liberal!…In fairness to Swank, I suspect he’s had more than one transient ischemic attack, if not a full-blown stroke or two.
There’d be no escaping him and people would eventually start leaping overboard to get away.
K-Lo standing on the railing to her stateroom: “Swank…Sharks…Swank…Sharks….GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Does anyone read this ignant fucker? I mean, against what little good judgment I have left I actually clicked on the liink. Then I checked out some of the swanksters other links. The ones that weren’t “This domain may be for sale” link famrs look suspiciously like swanks own site, half baked web 1.0 crap. Makes nineties era geocities sites look pretty smooth.
Does anyone read swanks shit? Aside from us? And does this guy actually have a church and a congregation or is “pastor” via some internet divinity course.
I’ve always imagined swank as some drunk in a stained wife-beater banging away on a keyboard in his garage.
Now we’re picturing Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan dressed as lumberjacks
Swinging from limb to limb…the oak, the mighty spruce, the larch…and they’d sing, sing, sing….o/~ He’s the president and he’s OK, he sleeps all night and he betrays his country all dayyyyyyyyyyyy o/~
I’ve always imagined swank as some drunk in a stained wife-beater banging away on a keyboard in his garage.
He puts on women’s clothing and hangs around in bars.
Is the lying network Verizon or ATT?
~
As the Roy Zimmerman song has it, “Don’t make fun of the crippled boy.”
Is the lying network Verizon or ATT?
FOX News.
Sad: Swank is clearly mentally ill
Sader: A RW website thinks he’s worth reading, not for entertainment value, but because they think he makes sense.
Sadest: Apparently some of said RW site’s readers DO think he makes sense!
nevermind. I forgot he has his own site. (I was thinking he was on clownhall or renewamerica).
Swank apparently thinks this was an actual photograph.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/13/yikes-controversial-emnew_n_112429.html
Nobody likes to salt the slug, Charlie.
Just saw McArglgarglgargl on the Dylan Ratigan show.
She’s clearly taking fashion tips from Alkon.
Shouldn’t you be studying math for that oh-so-difficult entry exam to the National Guard?
Come on, he’s in the 10th Mountain Division of the Coast Guard. Get it straight!
There once was a pastor named Swank
Who blathered on hopped up on crank
English syntax he slew
Logic and reason, also, too
Were fodder for his ongoing wank,
*advancing, giant hairy belly in both hands*
C’MERE!
Sarah Palin can take her place as the annoited ruler of America
So Mantarakis is a monarchist?
From the Swankstah’s previous column linked in the last thread:
America is now faced with the choice of Palin or Obama. Of course, in weeks and months to come, someone else may log in to sideline Palin. But at the moment, it is Palin versus Obama.
To say that America is at a crucial fork in the road is to speak in understatement.
Palin vs. Obama?
One’s in the Oval Office, Commander in Chief and Executive of the United States.
The other’s selling a discounted book and posting on her Facebook page, and aspiring to speak to the national Bowling convention.
How does one ‘choose’ ?
How does one ‘choose’ ?
To quote the Grail Knight in “The Last Crusade”
“He chose…poorly.”
I never, ever, ever speak in understatement.
I think I’ve come across Swank before:
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/9279/1237933078055.jpg
Maybe 4chan drove him insane?
Bugrit, millennium hand an’ shrimp…
Young black Christian vocalists – the real racists
So, did the English language murder Swank’s brother or something? ‘Cause I’m wondering what it did to deserve this abuse.
Some key phrases translated in babelfish to Chinese, then back to English, then to French, then back to English:
Marxism Islam Barack Hussein Obama individuality splits more and more with president who master keys every time the day…
When the time migration, He is Split the individuality dissemination and disseminates nap, namely, until maximum He separates is the been worth which stretches, it insults in each level. Far edge the individuality stretch adds one stretches, until him is the happy gauze organization?…
Certainly, his Marxism’ S Islam mentor, Ye Limi White leads by “the Foster father” with the training by Islam founder Louise Farrakhan Nation, has stroked the silly servant boy.
He is the miracle, they cut. Impossible He is to crash landing. Invincible He is.
Now the uncouthly reality presses in crazy edition possessing. For example the reality pushes him to publish him Afghanistan’ butt; S public statement.
Quite an improvement, I think.
Quite an improvement, I think.
Can’t tell which is which.
When the time migration, He is Split the individuality dissemination and disseminates nap, namely, until maximum
My thoughts exactly.
Crying “Oh noes!” when I read the man’s prose,
When he brings it with language all broken.
Again off he goes, but nobody knows,
If he’s all there or if he has stroke’n.
For example the reality pushes him to publish him Afghanistan’ butt
Buttsecks??!!!
Do. Not. Want!
Now now, perhaps we should allow Swank the poetic license we allowed Lewis Carroll in writing Jabberwocky…
lolGhanistan said
Sounds like you’re the one who is going to “stretch adds one stretches, until him is the happy gauze organization,” if you know what I mean. And I’m sure you do.
if you know what I mean. And I’m sure you do.
Not GOATSE!!!!!!
Woodrowfan said,
nevermind. I forgot he has his own site. (I was thinking he was on clownhall or renewamerica).
He did have a column with (IIRC) RenewAmerica, until they dumped him for being too crazy.
Let THAT thought sink in for a minute
Now I’m going to rack my brains to come up with a joke featuring Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walking into a bar…
Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walking into a bar. The bartender says, “Say, we don’t get many right-wing lunatics in here.”
Pastor Swank says, “With these personalities’ split spreading and spreading some more until they’re going to be stretched maximum apart, that is, till it hurts on every level, I’m not surprised.”
I mean, “walk.”
Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walk into a gay bar. Bartender says “If you guys are gonna come in here every night, you could at least buy a fuckin’ drink.”
Wait, no, that’s not a joke, it’s a news story.
“Stroked the silly servant boy”, in particular, reminds me of Latin translations in my long-gone schooldays.
Goddammit, just as my new band, Happy Gauze Organization, was about to release its first recordings, our name gets stolen. DAMN YOU PASTOR SWANK!
Sadly, No! He’s still posting at Keyes’ Korner.
@Makhno: That’s exactly what I was thinking. I had one of those wonderful teachers who gave you full points if you had anything at all written down, so half the time I was lucky if my translation made as much sense as Swank.
Ugh, going from Swank to Latin just made me imagine a torrid affair between him and Victor Davis Tiberius Africanus Taylor Swift Hanson. Enjoy that.
That’s some hardcore crazy, there… Is it possible for Swankenstein to actually be off meds???
Some forms of crazy are refractory to meds. On/off, it doesn’t matter to Tha Swankstah…crazy 24/7, double coupons on Sunday.
Ohgoodgrief…I made the mistake of checking out ReSnooze America, and found Marie Jon (no ‘) had posted a column.
It was actually a fairly benign column about the holiday season and the birth of Christ and how we should look to His example, until I got to this bit:
Ad infintum, ad nauseum
Because God watches FOX News and knows you’ve been slacking…
Oh, and we really pissed Dan Popp off the last time we took him apart. He’s followed up that foolishness by digging his hole deeper.
*sigh* FYWP. Now you’ll have to wait for the post about Popp’s new column…
good god. i get better written emails from the offshore teams i work with. it’s like an illiterate fan of bulwer-lytton with a weird religious and political agenda.
“it’s like an illiterate fan of bulwer-lytton with a weird religious and political agenda.”
No. No, it’s not like that at all. That about sums up Swanky perfectly. Perhaps I’d insert “inadvertent” between “illiterate” and “fan”.
LOLfactory also works.
I wonder if, somewhere in Iran, Swank’s mirror-universe twin is writing similar rants against Ahmadinejad in malfunctioning Farsi.
Because God watches FOX News and knows you’ve been slacking…
And Santa’s been watching it to know who’s been naughty or nice.
It’s gonna be a lean Christmas for us, friends.
He did have a column with (IIRC) RenewAmerica, until they dumped him for being too crazy.
Sadly, No! He’s still posting at Keyes’ Korner.
Oh crap. My meds must need adjusting again.
Garçon!
wiley said,
They don’t let people watch this stuff in the puzzle factory, do they?
Actually, when I was in the psych ward they let me keep my laptop, so I had Internet access.
Which was much better than watching the ward TV, believe me.
Y’know, Pastor’s Wank is kind of low hanging fruit* in the crayzee orchard, doncha think? I mean, critiquing his output here is like sandblasting a soupcracker, or bringing Simon Cowell to a 3rd grade choir concert. The high-caliber guns here at S,N! are above this, aren’t they?
*Veiled pendulous testicle reference
I think he’s actually in the 10th Mountain Armored Airborne Cavalry Division of the US Fightin’ Forces Brigade Platoon Brigadeer Tarquin Fin-tim-lim-bim-lim-bin- bim-bin-bim bus stop F’tang F’tang Olé Biscuitbarrel.
Also
Averaging 58% approval ratings is not imploding, fucktard.
The high-caliber guns here at S,N! are above this, aren’t they?
Consider it batting practice.
The irony in all of this is that Bush practically satisfied all of Osama bin Laden’s grievances with us. Because of the Iraq War, we pulled our troops out of Saudi Arabia and ended the embargo against Iraq.
The high-caliber guns here at S,N! are above this, aren’t they?
back in the day I used to love playing Microleague baseball. It came with a bunch of historic teams and my lovely wife gave me the Cincinnati Reds teams disc. I could replay the 1919, 1961 and 1975 World Series, or I could play my beloved 1975 Reds vs the best of the best (FYI, beating the 27 yanks was child’s play, beating the 1961 Yankees though, whew, THAT was hard to do!)
If I was feeling mean though, I could take on one of the 1950s Washington Senator’s. Pick their worst pitcher, start their bench instead of their starters and let’r rip. Ripping on Swank is like that. He’s the RW columnist version of the 1954 Senators…
The irony in all of this is that Bush practically satisfied all of Osama bin Laden’s grievances with us. Because of the Iraq War, we pulled our troops out of Saudi Arabia and ended the embargo against Iraq.
You had me until “embargo.” The war solved that problem in the sense that decapitation solves acne.
As easy as it is to make fun of the Swankster, what could really keep you up at night is that this guy actually has an audience.
Who listens to him.
Who listens to him.
The way one listens to a slowly failing transmission on an uphill climb.
The war solved that problem in the sense that decapitation solves acne.
From any sane person’s point of view, yes. But from Bin Laden’s, maybe not so bad.
Plus Bush happily obliged ol’ Osama by torpedoing the U.S.’ wealth, power, and international reputation.
The high-caliber guns here at S,N! are above this, aren’t they?
Spitballs are “high-caliber?”
Always fun to see someone who’s certifiably crazy call someone else nuts. I mean, “Sleeper cells become more and more curious”–what the fuck does he even mean by that? Curious as in I Am Curious (Yellow)? Do they want to know what goes on Behind the Green Door? Are they waiting for some secret sexy signal from The Black Dick Who’s A Sex Machine With All The Chicks to, you know, lift the burqa and get down? Bit of the old bow-chicka-bow-bow with a Sufi twist?
Plus Bush happily obliged ol’ Osama by torpedoing the U.S.’ wealth, power, and international reputation.
It does make you wonder, if we hadn’t spent hundreds of billions, if not trillions, on Iraq, how much softer the crash would have been? We’d have paid down the deficit a little, despite Bush’s tax cuts, and probably have some cushion going into the housing bubble.
Yup. Bin Laden accomplished what he set out to do, if inadvertently.
OT, sorry, but this is just so outrageously disgusting, I had to share:
http://www.citizen.on.ca/news/2009/1202/columns/028.html
Nigel Brennan is a friend of a friend, and I’ve been anxiously following the case since he and Lindhout were kidnapped last summer. They were recently released after the families involved reportedly paid the ransom. The Aussie and Canadian governments apparently did fuck-all for over a year. Which doesn’t stop this Canadian right-winger from raging against the government doing something it actually didn’t do.
I can’t help but contrast this with Bill Clinton visiting North Korea to recover two American journalists, or the recovery of a freighter from Somali pirates by US forces. If one thing could make me patriotic, it’s that the US government actually does something when our citizens are in dire circumstances.
Except that Clinton isn’t even in the Government.
But it is funny because how many Republicans would have flown to NK to negotiate anything more complicated than a sheet of radioactive glass from border to border?
The high-caliber guns here
V. to tha P. to tha muthafuckin’ R.
Spitballs are “high-caliber?”
The new daisy-cutter spitball is still in development.
Lindhout is just the latest example of a widespread – and unwholesome – sense of “entitlement” – the thing that brought the federal Liberals down in recent elections – a belief that whatever one decides to do with their own free will and whatever the consequences they are absolutely “entitled” to be rescued by the state.
Uh, did Lindhout *personally* say anything about how she was “entitled” to government rescue? ‘Cause I don’t see anything that indicates that in her hateful screed. What an asshole.
“Who listens to him.”
Sure, his audience listens to him. But they don’t have more an idea of what the fuck he’s talking about than we do. That’s the good news.
Wow. THAT is some Weapons Grade Crazy. And grammar bad. Also.
I think the Swankester has truly melted down and is one belltower away from a killing spree.
Sure, his audience listens to him. But they don’t have more an idea of what the fuck he’s talking about than we do.
Well, it’s a sure sign to up the lithium dosage if that Lovecraftian version of Fundamentalism ever starts sounding coherent…
But they don’t have more an idea of what the fuck he’s talking about than we do.
Swank is PoMo!
The Goddamn Batman makes me glad he’s fighting on our side.
THE MORE I SAY “MUSLIM” OR “ISLAM” THE SCARIER MY WRITING IS. EVEN IF I ONLY SCARE MYSELF.
MUSLIMISLAMMUSLIMISLAMMUSLIMISLAMMUSLIMISLAMAAAAAHIGOEJPIAEOPAFJOA
YOU WILL ALL BE JUDGED BY REPUBLICAN JESUS REPENT. OR ISALLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMASMDASMDAS
post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger
Till:
I found this paragraph particularly striking given the numerous typos and grammatical errors in the article. Perhaps that’s why this asshat is writing for a “community newspaper.”
As time moves along, his personalities’ split is going to spread and spread some more until he’s going to be stretched maximum apart, that is, till it hurts on every level.
OMG!!!! Pastor Swank is the Cool Coach!
The “Badoodly Oodly” schtick makes sense now!
fywp
“Stroked the silly servant boy”, in particular, reminds me of Latin translations in my long-gone schooldays.
A lot of schools shy away from translating Catullus, but evidently not yours.
Marie Jon?
“How long can he play the democracy-friend while actually serving Allah?”
Till someone wins by two points, I figure.
Teh Swankstah has been watching too many Star Trek reruns.
“How long can he play the democracy-friend while actually serving Allah?”
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
I have to cringe when I see “Marxist Muslim” used so regularly in conversation by the birther/teabagger/death panelist community.
“Religion is the opium of the masses” versus “There is no God but God and Mohammed is the messenger of God.” Jesus tap-dancing Christ on a cracker, too subtle for you? “Marxist Muslim”? What’s next, “Catholic Protestant?” “Carnivorous vegan?” “Seminole Gator?”
The plot thickens considerably when they throw in the fact that he does, in fact, go to church, which should theoretically make accusations that he’s a Muslim OR a Marxist impossible, but nothing’s impossible for the American right-wing. (At the time, I actually wondered if the Jeremiah Wright controversies were deliberately coined by the Obama campaign to lie to rest the accusation that he was a Muslim. If so, it was bravely tried, but wishful thinking).
How long can he play the democracy-friend while actually serving Allah?
Allah, LOOK OUT! It’s a cookbook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My patriotic heart swells with … trapped gas.
Uh, yeah, & if you want to talk sense of entitlement, how does shutting down the entire fucking national government so you can keep your free luxury housing & platinum-plated pension (& avoid facing the music) sound? Must’ve sounded sweet to Harper when he did just that, eh?
Dipshits: the most abundant element in the known universe.
Gladly, no!
Though the sagacious Swank has seen through our plot, it is ALREADY TOO LATE TO STOP US. The initiation of “Operation Obama Maxi-Stretch” was only the beginning! Our suicide-bomber slugs are on target & slithering toward their hapless victims as fast as their wayward tongues will carry them … the Real Americans will never know what hit them – our diabolical mission will be completed, say, oh, circa 2300 AD or so.
Nyah hah hah HAAAAH.
http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/
Strangely, dialectizing his post to Redneck makes it more readable.
Allah, LOOK OUT! It’s a cookbook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh.
*Warm golf clap*
victims as fast as their wayward tongues will carry them
Carry on, you wayward tongues….
Carry on, you wayward tongues….
Now I’ve got that damn song echoing in my head. Thanks for nothing.
“How long can he play the democracy-friend while actually serving Allah?”
The time in hours is roughly same as the amount of angels that can dance on the head of a pin?
Depending on dance of course.
Carry on, you wayward tongues….
There’ll be peas when you are done.
Awwwww. Somebody opened his thesaurus. Unfortunately he didn’t bother to check the definitions of all the words he so hastily invited to his drug-addled literary orgy. I’ve seen such a befuddling awkward group of smooshed together words in all my life. I hope somebody’s peeking a head into his mother’s basement to check on this sick dude.
With a shotgun, apparently.
Carry on, you wayward tongues….
There’ll be peas when you are done.
Gaaaahhh! Ear wig! EAR WIG!
Getitoutgetitoutgetitout!
How long can he hide… from non-Muslims… his ultimate allegiance to Muslims?
How long can he play… the democracy-friend… while actually serving Allah?
To amplify an earlier comment, I now have these lines stuck in my head, repeating in a whiny Dylan voice.
Please stop giving head and rest…
Don’t you lie no more.
The high-caliber guns here at S,N!
High caliber = big bore, y’know.
Carry on, you wayward tongues….
There’ll be peas when you are done.
Please stop giving head and rest…
Don’t you lie no more.
D’oh!
The irony in all of this is that Bush practically satisfied all of Osama bin Laden’s grievances with us. Because of the Iraq War, we pulled our troops out of Saudi Arabia and ended the embargo against Iraq.
There was a theory going around in mid/late 2004 that the reason “Bush kept us safe” was that, following 9/11 Bush essentially capitulated to OBL. The theory was that if we elected Kerry, Al Qaeda would attack, simply because they would want to see what Kerry would do — but there was no need to attack us post-9/11 because Al Qaeda had Bush doing their bidding.
I dunno whether Bush’s de facto capitulation to Al Qaeda (e.g. before we invaded Iraq, there was no Al Qaeda in Iraq … after the invasion? …) was intentional or not, but as Bush’s favorite philosopher would say “you shall know them by their fruits”.
Carry on, you wayward tongues….
There’ll be peas when you are done.
Please stop giving head and rest…
Don’t you lie no more.
Kool!
Now let’s do Def Leppard’s “Photograph”!
you shall know them by their fruits
That one’s hanging too low for an earthworm.
A lot of schools shy away from translating Catullus, but evidently not yours.
Suetonius’ Twelve Caesars, baby!! Tiberius’ “minnows” are central to my point.
Gaaaahhh! Ear wig! EAR WIG!
Getitoutgetitoutgetitout!
Now, wouldn’t it be a terrible, terrible thing to write, regarding Pastor Swank’s literary style,
Word salad, yummy yummy
Now let’s do Def Leppard’s “Photograph”!
Too easy!
Allah-cultists – I don’t want your
Allah-cultists – I don’t need your
Allah-cultists – All I’ve got is Allah-cultists
But it’s not enough
I eat my peas with honey,
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But keeps them on my knife.
I would love nothing more than if on January 19, 2017, Obama held a press conference in which all he said was, “I was an atheist the whole time, bitches! Smell ya later!”
Oh my god I could die happy.
And as we wind on down the net
Our nym-steals taller than our trolls’
There walks a pastor we all know
Who spews word stew and tends to show
How everything still turns to shit
And if you listen very hard
The truth will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a nut and not rick-roll
And he’s buying a stairway
To swanksville…
Ah, well, nothing that a little Thorazine can’t fix.
When I get to the bottom
I go back to the top of the page
Where I stop and turn
and my eyes go elide
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Do you don’t you want me to read you
I’m throwing up fast and I’m crying above you
Tell me tell me come on tell me the answer
and you may be a pastor but you ain’t no writer
Go Pastor Swank-er
Pastors Wanker
Pastors Wanker
Actually, it’s “earworm”:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earworm
Ear wig! EAR WIG!
My ears are hairy enough without augmentation, thanks.
Top Ten Earworms List [via “”The Playlist From Hell” (from Kellaris 2003 survey)] :
1. “Other” [it’s idiosyncratic]
2. Chili’s (Baby Back Ribs)
3. Who Let the Dogs Out?
4. We Will Rock You
5. Kit-Kat bar jingle
6. Mission Impossible Theme
7. YMCA
8. Whomp, There It Is
9. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
10. It’s a Small World After All
There, that ought to curse a few of you folks with worms for the day.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahah *snort*!
ee cummings had a redneck brother who did a lot of bad trucker acid back in the day before finding Jesus.
My ears are hairy enough without augmentation, thanks.
That’s my excuse for baldness: my hair is afraid of heights.
Top Ten Earworms List
Joe!
No “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”????
(gotcha back! hehehehehehehehe)
Actually, it’s “earworm”:
As seen in Wrath of Khan…
Top Ten Earworms List [via “”The Playlist From Hell” (from Kellaris 2003 survey)] :
HATE. HAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAATE!
Here’s a little blog I wrote
You might want to read it note for note
Don’t worry, read Sadly (No!)
In politics we have some trouble
If you don’t laugh you make it double
Don’t worry, be Sadly (No!)……
If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to
Why don’t you just go draw a blank,
Puttin’ on the Swank.
‘Tis the season, earworm dorks.
Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Have a happy holiday!
If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to
Why don’t you just go draw a blank,
Puttin’ on the Swank.
FTW. Particularly since I hear the last line sung in Peter Boyle’s falsetto.
Have yourself a Merry Little Swankmas
Make the Yule Log gay
Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Until recently, I had always assumed that this song was sung by a young Wayne Newton.
Don’t hate me because I’m
beautifulbald, hate me because I link to Wayne Newton.That’s actually a pretty good call.
If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to
Why don’t you just go draw a blank,
Puttin’ on the Swank.
Dressed up like you’re goin’ for a floggin’
Tryin’ hard to look like Father Coughlin (snog, snog, snoggin’!)
Come let’s mix where Krauthammers
write big words of villager wisdom
where they wank
Puttin’ on the Swank
“Knowing the full truth that unites the human race & not teaching all is deathly guilt!”, learned carpenter Jesus from Mason Rabbi Hillel! As Mao wrote in Redbook 51: “Marxist-Communism, once in power, is utterly unworkable, has less value than cowdung. Its power is the gun!” … As teaches African-sheperd Astronomer Israel for 6000 years, “LISTEN CHILDREN! ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” For on God’s Spaceship Earth, with Bomb & Gun, we’re All-One or none! All-One! All-One! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!
Dilute! Dilute! OK!!!
*best Lionel Ritchie voice*
Islamic Obama thought when presidential running,
spurred on by mob hysteriacs,
that he as messiah acclaimed could solve
any problem—absolutely any problem.
We were running, running with the Swank.
Sweet Blood of Jesus, I am reduced to posting snausage links, such is the awful mundanity of holiday existence. Still, it’s amusing & caused a Kraut uproar.
I am reduced to posting snausage links,
Herr Deekman, Mein preshume?
Now I’m going to rack my brains to come up with a joke featuring Pastor Swank, David Icke, and Fred Phelps walking into a bar…
That’s what you told the nice policeman, but in truth the bar was swung with great force.
“Knowing the full truth that unites the human race & not teaching all is deathly guilt!”, learned carpenter Jesus from Mason Rabbi Hillel! As Mao wrote in Redbook 51: “Marxist-Communism, once in power, is utterly unworkable, has less value than cowdung. Its power is the gun!” … As teaches African-sheperd Astronomer Israel for 6000 years, “LISTEN CHILDREN! ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” For on God’s Spaceship Earth, with Bomb & Gun, we’re All-One or none! All-One! All-One! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!
Wow, I just read that in the voice of William…Shat-ner AND. It. All. MADESENSE!
In my experience, the Sanford and Son theme kills the most tenacious earworms instantly.
Journalist’ should just be thankful she’s alive
Marie Jon?
You found her missing ‘!!
fywp.
Not even looking for these things (Have one of my own I can look at if I need to see one.) the damn robots keep presenting them to me.
Besides, the web is obviously filled w/ dicks, it’s inevitable you’d see one sooner or later.
Actually, it’s “earworm”:
Thwwtt!
**Fires spitball**
Heh, it IS reminiscent of Tiberius’ minnows, now you come to mention it. But it was Catullus I was thinking of.
I love the S,N commenters….
Man, Swank makes me long for the elegant prose of Erickson or Goldberg. That’s the most painful syntax I’ve ever seen — and I’ve known a lot of hysteriacs.
Thank you, Swankster, for another piece of logic krummholz.
Good lord, what if Palin hired Swank as her speechwriter?!
Good lord, what if Palin hired Swank as her speechwriter?!
It would come out as the Gettysburg Address.
(Do the math)
Here’s a wee conundrum – is this an earworm, or an antidote?
(Warning: contains Sammy Davis Jr.)
So after dithering about what to do with the Global War on Terror for months on end, Hopey McChange finally gives the generals on the ground thew troops they need. Yet he undercuts these much-needed reinforcements for the War on Terror by setting a date certain for withdraw.
What do you think the Taliban and Al Qaeda will do? Yes, that’s right: lay low in the bushes until July, 2011, then come out right after we withdraw and begin plotting 9/11 2.0, that’s what.
Do try to respond to this post in a mature, adult manner. Perhaps if you have no arguments to refute basic military strategy, you can do something more childish like spam the review section of a book you don’t like on Amazon.com. Or go play video games in your mom’s basement where you still live.
Yes, yes, I made a typo in my original screen name here. I bet you children will discuss that rather than the Global War on Terror.
Do try to respond to this post in a mature, adult manner.
Do try to proofread before you post anything here, Mr. Consequnces, this website isn’t Free Republic or whatever fetid swamp you crawled out of.
Here’s how it was with our last black President:
Link
I bow to your superior knowledge of military matters. Presumably gained from reading Tom Clancy novels and playing Call of Duty 4.
Do try to respond to this post in a mature, adult manner.
Your screen name has a typo.
Science has identified a solution to your problem.
~
Or go play video games in your mom’s basement where you still live.
I am so going to steal that.
I see certain childish, immature liberals would rather discuss sex organs than serious, adult public policy and the Global War on Terror.
I bet you children will discuss that rather than the Global War on Terror.
**Starts chewing notebook paper**
I see certain childish, immature liberals would rather discuss sex organs than serious, adult public policy and the Global War on Terror.
**Pulls innards out of Bic Pen**
But what makes me really happy is talking about the GWOT AND sex organs.
You gotta love that expensive, White House bash the other night. What obstacle is record high unemployment and two wars? The liberal and Hollywood elites can celebrate in style with the proles eat cake.
How does that relate to the GWOT? Why aren’t you talking about the GWOT? Nothing matters but the GWOT!
Nothing matters but the GWOT!
And flagpole wedgies. Those matter. A lot.
Benjamin Franklin’s Approximation of Dark Water Abomination Macaroni
All you do is get dark water abomination and put salt and fat on top of it before macaroniing it. That – putting those seasonings on top – is the secret. Toast the meat, then put it on top of some vampire aristocrat colon. Put stiff coconut juice (at all grocery stores, make sure to get this stiff coconut juice too) over top of it. Put it in the microwave for 180 seconds. You can add to it whatever you want. Some people put a layer of peachy fresh Mexican cheese on it and just eat it like that. I chop up light whipping cream, nose of Turk and ricotta cheese and put them on top, as well as clown triggerfish heart. WARNING: You will never be able to order dark water abomination at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won’t measure up to the ones you can make at home.
The only thing worth talking about is serious, adult public policy: how Hopey and his cult followers are ruining this nation.
Here’s a dirty little secret the MSM won’t report: many of the people you see at T.E.A. Parties are registered Democrats.
There is a massive, intense eruption of anti-government sentiment the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the 19th Century.
O.K. and flagpole wedgies. Nothing but the GWOT and flagpole wedgies.
Call it doody for?
Troll does not inspire the energy needed to pick up a stick to poke it with.
*sigh*
O.K. and flagpole wedgies. Nothing but the GWOT and flagpole wedgies.
And Funyuns. Those matter, too. Big bags of them.
Terrorism is a tactic. You might as well declare a global war on flanking maneuvers.
There is a massive, intense eruption of anti-government sentiment the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the 19th Century.
1861 to 1865, to be precise.
Truthor Consequinces? Aren’t they one of those heritage fruit things?
Hmmmm. Let me guess. The tea party people are “mad at both parties”.
Except they always always always happen to vote Republican.
“There is a massive, intense eruption of anti-government sentiment the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the 19th Century”.
…but it’s so subtle that most people haven’t noticed it. So they make glorious film to celebrate their glorious revolution.
Jeez. Our troolz are just Funyan™ it in.
*sniffles*
~
Troll needs to walk into a bar.
…but it’s so subtle that most people haven’t noticed it
Silent Majority? I should be so lucky if the teabaggers became silent.
BTW, Troof and Inconsequential, name 5 prominent Democrats who are teabaggers
Tea comes from China. Why do you hate America and the Troops?
Troll needs to walk into a bar.
Repeatedly.
I will not settle for a mere approximation of an Abomination!
Silent Majority? I should be so lucky if the teabaggers became silent.
Yeah, no doubt. But they see themselves as clench-jawed, manly, strong and silent John Wayne types, coiled like a spring and ready to kill at any moment.
Any day now they’ll be calling themselves the Silent But Deadly Majority.
Next for the Obama Admin.:
Global War On Trolls & their Weenies of Minuscule Development.
T. or C. is teh suxxor
Troll does not inspire the energy needed to pick up a stick to poke it with.
You should pull apart the paper and eat the pen innards. More stored energy available for use.
And the blue teeth will make you attractive to wingnut chicks. Also.
teh suxxor
That’s the place in Eqypt with the giant foot statues, yes?
…coiled like a spring and ready to kill at any moment.
Actually, I believe that part about the teabaggers
Especially if they happen to be near federal buildings, school yards, etc…
And the blue teeth will make you attractive to wingnut chicks. Also.
Plus you can sync your iPhone with your head.
Teh Luxor. Where they used to make soap.
Address my fruit-based point, libs!
Or Loxor.
Actually, I believe that part about the teabaggers
Sadly, yes. But they imagine the act as some graceful, heroic thing, not as an overgrown infant screaming and beef-jerky-farting bystanders to death.
Plus you can sync your iPhone with your head.
I’m sure this will spawn a Verizon commercial about how Droid will sync with your PENIS.
WinMob, of course, syncs with your POOP.
Bad Luxor – a German spa town with bubbly springs.
Wuzza-wuzzup, looney libs!! The Cool Coach is here to declare that Truth and Consequences has served up a … uh … something …
Never mind. Badoodle.
Oklahoma City is the Dresden of liberal fascism.
The troll comes to a comedy blog to have a [*da-da-da-DUH*] serious discussion.
What’s wrong with this picture?
And “expensive White House bash”? Surely, St. Ronnie Reagan never was so pretentious as to have fancy state dinners during the worst recession in the US until… well, until NOW.
Oh, wait…
http://www.life.com/image/50313978
“US Pres. Ronald W. Reagan (2L) and his wife Nancy (2R) hosting a state dinner at the White House for Japan’s Prime Minister Yasuhiro Nakasone (L) and his wife. ” (4/1/81)
Sadly, no…
Or go play video games in your mom’s basement where you still live.
Whilst not I’m entirely happy to take maturity lessons from someone who uses the phrase “Hopey” obsessively, and who has spent the better part of nearly a decade trolling liberal blogs, being racist, misogynistic and just outright serious-mental-disorderly…. I am going to respond to him just ONCE in the serious way he’s asking for.
Ok Truth. Let’s take the above comment shall we? You claim liberals here are just sitting in their mother’s basement playing computer games. Ok, let’s say that this is true. So what have you done to make the world a better place?. And anyone can just say they’ve done blah blah… where’s the proof? Let’s see a photograph of you at teabagging event, shall we? Got any copies of personal letters you’ve sent to your Senator? Volunteered at a soup kitchen maybe? Talk is cheap, as any adult knows… so what adult steps have you taken to actually back up your claims?
Now here’s the first part of the trap you’ve caught yourself in for most of your cognitive life; You’ve done nothing. Indeed, you daren’t even prove what you have actually done, because it’s mostly illegal (phone stalking, hate crimes etc) or just insane; and the few things you’ve possibly thought about, which might at least be vaguely constructive, but probably not actually done (like go teabagging), you dare never show that you’d done it, because you’ve spent so long trying to hurt and hate other people, you’re terrified that anyone might return the favour and track you down through any information you put out there. You are, through your own actions, completely unable to get constructively involved in politics.
Let’s just repeat that shall we; You, “The Truth”, will never ever hold any office or position because your insane behaviour would ruin you in the eyes of anyone who ever knew the slightest thing about you. And it absolutely, certainly would come out what you’d done if you tried… All you are, all you’ll ever be, is a completely irrelevant foul mouth online. You are a non-entity. A nothing.
Now then, let’s move onto the next point, which is addressing directly your claim above; Liberals are just in the basement, playing computer games. Well, the first part is you as well isn’t it? You daren’t come out of your own shell, dare you. But… the thing about computer games is… they are fun. So if Liberals are in the basement, they’re having fun are they? But what are you doing? Well, you are spending year after year, insulting people who will now never believe you even if you had the tea-balls to stand up and be counted. You troll liberal sites, where no one wants to hear you even if they thought you had something to say. Your inability to be taken seriously, or convert anyone, leads you to incoherent rage; wasted hours trying to get around bans and being identified, because you simply don’t have the personal strength to walk away; you become obsessed with individual posters, or repeating the same comment day after day, instead of improving yourself…
Do I have to go on? As I said, let’s take your comment seriously shall we; Liberals are in the basement, playing computer games.
But even if that is true, that still puts them 2 steps ahead of you in the game of life, because at least they’re getting some pleasure out of life
Oh, I know what you’ll say next; “I get pleasure out of hating liberals…” But the answer to that is already soaring into the audiences throat as you say that; “No one wants to play with you in that game, do they though?” You see, at least those liberals might be getting cyber-sex in one of the taverns of World of Warcraft, which is still closer than you’ll ever get to a genuine relationship with anyone at all. If they are sad, how much sadder are you?
And that’s the genuine adult Truth for you. The fact that you can’t see it is because you’ve never grown out of the almost autistic inability to understand abstract reality which exemplifies childhood.
Lex Luthor- the law of the Norse toilet
Do try to respond to this post in a mature, adult manner.
As “mature” as referring to President Barack Obama as “Hopey McChange”?
Your main premise is a load of shite. If the Taliban lays low for a year & a half, they’re toast: they need both demonstrable local power & ongoing combat victories to gain new recruits (attrition is a bitch). Nobody likes a loser, & that’s a loser move. If they’d taken that approach against the Red Army, they’d’ve been ground into hamburger in well under a year. The idea that the US Army is going to be playing World Of Warcraft in the PX for a year & a half straight instead of smoking some fundamentalist ass is low comedy.
If they don’t go into hiding when all those fresh troops arrive, they likely get handed their own nutsacks on a platter. Everyone’s so busy raging over how poorly the US is doing over there that they’re tending to miss a little detail: the other side is slowly but surely getting crushed to death between Yanks on one side & Pakistanis on the other – & the other adjacent ‘Stans aren’t exactly warmly inviting them onto their turf. I’d guess a lot of Taliban were desperately hoping that Obama was going to announce an immediate withdrawal, not a major escalation.
Basic military strategy? Try basic psychology: a specific timeline gives US troops a very timely morale-boost, along with an incentive to go out & kick Taliban ass like never before. Those men & women are NOT inclined to leave before the job is done – & they just got a serious power-up from their C-in-C. What the hell can the other side do now – scream “Allah Akhbar” even louder? THEIR morale just got a roundhouse kick in the nards.
Unless they can produce some sort of major victory – & fast – the Taliban’s pooch is looking increasingly screwed. They’re not fighting a bunch of alcoholic Russians this time – & there’s no Santa Reagan giving them free assault-rifles & SAMs either. In my not at all humble opinion, Americans should be pressuring Obama to buy off the poppy farmers the same way Bush paid off the Iraqi militias – do that, & this clusterfuck is in the books for good.
Plotting 9/11 2.0? Yeah, no doubt they have regular fantasies of doing just that – & I’m sure they’ll have no problem recreating the element of surprise – not to mention lucking into another catastrophically corrupt & lax Administration – in the wake of such a trivial event as 9/11.
Lame troll is lame.
I now declare war on the left oblique, march! maneuver.
Lex Luthor- the law of the Norse toilet
Or a law for lispers who do not win.
I tried googling “Truth or Consequences’, and mostly got a bunch links about some fucked up desert burg that named itself after some fucked up gameshow–no blog by that name, though. Tell us, O wise & serious one, what is the name of YOUR blog?
Or do you just pogo-stick into random comedy/snark/PENIS blogs and demand that everyone there DANCE! boy, didn’t I just say DANCE! Dammit!
some fucked up desert burg that named itself after some fucked up gameshow
My father went there on business in the 70s. I asked him what it was like. His response was that the town had trouble living up to the exciting premise of being named after a game show.
N__B
FTW.
PENIS. Also.
“terrorism is a tactic”
Says the people who declared a “War on Poverty”.
There is a massive, intense eruption of anti-government sentiment the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the
19th CenturyNixon Administration.One group of angry citizens saw a criminal POTUS walk away scott-free … whereas the ones today want theirs impeached for everything from eating Dijon mustard to keeping his campaign promises.
A few decades of dumbing-down sure does work wonders, eh?
Yeah, but you should see T or C NOW!!
Yeah, but you should see T or C NOW!!
You mean, like, on Nick at Night?
or Drugs
Plus you can sync your iPhone with your head.
iBrane
The lib Woodrow Wilson was the grandaddy of the War on Drugs.
Wait, wait, I remember now. The Truthor Consequince featured in a Heavy Metal strip back in the days, some time back in the late 1980s. IIRC, it grew on a planet called Kryem. The plot revolved around a gang of heavily-armed bandits who steal one of these shrubs (for reasons into which I shall not enter here, since they are not relevant to my interests), losing various of their number in the course of shoot-outs with their pursuers, only to taste a consequince at at the end and discover that “The tree of Kryem bears bitter fruit.”
Someone please reassure me that I am not making this up.
Did Wilson call it a War on Drugs?
Consequince is what they grow there.
Lex Luthor- the law of the Norse toilet
Norse toilets basically consisted of the nearest valley or ravine, with a stout pole hammered into the ground overhanging the precipice, onto which one could hold for support while squatting backwards over the sheer drop and straining.
Occasionally some jolly japester would saw partway through a post, and hilarity would ensue. I can’t recall off-hand which Saga uses this as a plot element… go ask BBBB.
Through a natural convergence of technologies, the pre-European Maori had similar arrangements. Among other things, this provided them with a convenient way of offending one another… you could carve the head of another tribe’s chief, as a decoration on your latrine post.
Would I lie to you?
OT: the GOP’s slate for 2012 just got yet another edit.
Beer on monitor, oh Smutty One.
University of Georgia political science professor Charles Bullock said, ”PENIS!!!!”
Woodrow Wilson passed a law that made cocaine and heroin illegal, and morphine prescription-only. Before him, all of those drugs could be bought over the counter for pennies. Blame your “progressives” for that, libs.
I forgot that ‘Progressive’ in 1918 means the same as in 2009.
Sorry for engaging T or C, gang. I’ll go do a pile of coke with tequila shooters as punishment.
After my actual argument was completely demolished, I became terrified, peed my pants, and then pretended I had never said anything and started talking about Woodrow Wilson for no reason at all. I am a miserable little chickenshit.
P.S. I want all of you to be mature like me, who, if you remember, spent the last thread I befouled using variations on the phrase “retard ass-pie”.
“Woodrow Wilson passed a law that made cocaine…. illegal.”
No wonder I hate him.
I remember that story. I don’t know if that’s reassuring or not.
Truth or Consequences said,
December 4, 2009 at 4:06
“I see certain childish, immature liberals would rather discuss sex organs than serious, adult public policy and the Global War on Terror.”
You know who else liked to discuss global war?
Woodrew Wilson that’s who.
I’m gonna have go ahead and agree with T or C here. Obama…man, I’ve seen him up in the sky, man. With the aliens! They’re using their alien powers to hack into our brain and…make us…stuff. They want our brains, man, they want our brains!
Late to this Swanky Partay. I haven’t read all of Pastrami’s illogical and grammatically-challenged columns but this one has to be at the top of his crazy pile, no?
“At the top of Swank’s crazy pile” is a distinction akin to “sweatiest child molester of them all.”
I have to object. Marxists have often been critical of organized religion, but that doesn’t translate to mandatory atheism. There are left-wing organizations in the opposition across the Islamic world which would identify as both Muslim and Marxist.
Let’s have the full quote:
That’s Marx in 1844, writing at the peak of his association with positivist strains in Western thought. There’s certainly no question that Marx was critical of religion, but he saw political freedom and freedom from superstition as two parallel currents which encouraged and strengthened the other.
Anyway, “opium of the people” was Marx speaking as a metaphysical philosopher. Whether you can reject Marx’s metaphysics while largely accepting his sociology and political science is controversial. I say that many scientists today who would claim the mantle of Darwin would reject his metaphysics, so it’s not all that strange.
Sorry for the diversion. This is just a hobby horse of mine. I don’t think Marx would have supported the pogroms of Stalin or Mao or recognized them as a valid outcome of his philosophy. I say this as an atheist and as a mostly non-Marxist leftist. (Nor do I think Obama is anywhere near either Marxist or Muslim.)
Ol’ Hopey McChangealot fiddle-de-dithered on the Afghanistan troop surge an’ now we’re well into the new TeeVee season. Teh troops won’t even be over there before reruns start. And then they’re going to start pulling them back out by Football season of 2011 and you know what that means.
Address my very serious post, libs!
PENIS.
Also.
Address my envelopes at home for up to $75.00/wk., libz!
Al Franken, Kissinger and the Greatful Dead. circa 1980
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alO2cUYs-6g&NR=1
Al Franken, Kissinger and the Greatful Dead. circa 1980
Lemme guess – they walk into a bar?
Franken v. Coulter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=susZ2ceEHwk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYV4D_jKepc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHx0oLrGjKY
This is Al as Mick singing “Under My Thumb” on Solid Gold in the late ‘70’s early ’80’s.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist, Franken does his Henry Kissinger impersonation. Henry is illegally bootlegging the concert.
If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed…
I would love to see reruns of the old Truth or Consequences. That was Bob Barker’s first game show, I believe.
Soap droppers global
One group Palin won’t be addressing, even for double her usual fee.
I see certain childish, immature liberals would rather discuss sex organs than serious, adult public policy and the Global War on Terror.
Obviously, Troofie, you were never given backstage access. We’re really a front for the Council on Foreign Relations, and Angelina Jolie popped out of my birthday cake at last night’s meeting, which is why we couldn’t be bothered.
Now, grow a set or shut the fuck up.
Know what?
Just shut the fuck up.
Woodrow Wilson passed a law that made cocaine and heroin illegal, and morphine prescription-only. Before him, all of those drugs could be bought over the counter for pennies.
Without him, conservacraps wouldn’t have a law-and-order platform to run on. Libs would win every election.
No wonder we hate him.
Self-address my stamping feet, libs!
Hey TROOOOOOOOOOOOFEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
How about that unemployment rate tumbling? Not such a big fucking deal to you, I noticed. Just like when the Dow skyrocketed, suddenly you shut the fuck up about it.
So why not save yourself a lot of effort…we all know how you Cheeto-eaters hate effort…and sew your mouth shut now, beat the rush!
Hey, folks, just a heads-up: “9/11 2.0” may not actually occur on the eleventh of September.
No, stupid. We’d rather discuss serious adult topics with serious adults. It is you whom we do not take seriously. Why anyone would want to have a serious discussion with someone who acts like a petulant child, is wrong about everything, and insultingly condescending is beyond my comprehension, which is why no one here is doing anything but mocking you for being an assjack of the first water.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: this reads like he has a brain tumor, and that’s no joke. On the other hand, since I have no proof that he does have one, bwah hah hah hah. That whole thing reads like it was translated from English to wingnut, printed out, fed to a monkey, and then reassembled as the monkey threw its feces against a wall. Then and only then was it uploaded to the web.
True story: My father-in-law had brain tumors (spread from lung cancer) in the speech centers of his brain. Toward the end of his life he had trouble speaking and would use made-up words and mix stuff up a ton. Quite frustrating for him (he didn’t know he was doing it), and no fun for the family.
He still made more sense than Pastors Wank…
My stepfather had them as well, which is why I know exactly what it sounds like in excruciating detail, hence my comment. My stepfather eventually couldn’t think of the word milk, and instead called it “white juice”. It’s really a terrible thing to watch happen. I just don’t think Swank used to be this disjointed. It reminds me of those clips of Bush debating while running for governor of Texas for the first time juxtaposed with his Kerry debates. The fall off in mental acuity and verbal ability was astounding.