Testing out improved humor capabilities…
The right-wingers have us outgunned in the humor department, sure enough, but I know we can master the ‘snappy comeback’ thing at least. It can’t be so hard. See, when moonbat trolls get fancy with even Debbie Schlussel, her slapdowns seem effortless — and it might be a matter of craft and long practice even in Debbie’s case, but I think there’s actually just a secret method to them.
Debbie likes those textured tops, and so do we.
God how do you fucking small-minded, whining & scared silly rubes manage to get yourselves out of bed in the morning?
Mommy I’m scared, there’s an illegal alien hiding in my wardrobe.
Oh daddy, help me, Islamo-fascists are oppressing my freedom, I can’t manage to eat my huge fat-as-fuck American breakfast.
I’m surprised you panic merchants ever leave the house, let alone cross the road.
GREAT, SO YOU KNOW ALL THE ENGLISH FOUR-LETTER WORDS THAT EVEN ILLEGAL ALIENS WHO DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH KNOW. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE ON THIS SITE OR YOU’LL BE BANNED. OH, AND AS FAR AS BREAKFASTS GO, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. YEAH, THAT 9/11 WAS JUST A FANTASY. NEVER HAPPENED OR IT WAS DONE BY CHRISTIAN FIJIANS IF IT DID. RI-I-I-I-IGHT. “NORTCLIFF”? MORE LIKE, “JUSTJUMPEDOFFACLIFF”.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSELPosted by: Nortcliff at April 30, 2006 07:09 AM
Debbie Schlussel? More like Debbie Imabigdumdum. Grow a brain cell.
Oh wait. Dammit, that doesn’t have the right gravitas. How do you…? Oh! Oh! Here’s the secret. This is it. Wait. No, here:
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL? MORE LIKE DEBBIE IMABIGDUMDUM. GROW A BRAIN CELL LOSER AND SPEAK FOR YOURSELF OR YOU’LL BE “BANNED ON THE RUN” LIKE A PAUL MCCARTNEY AND WINGS SONG…….RI-I-I-I-IGHT DOY-OY-OY!!!!!! A-DER!!! HEY LOOK I’M YOU: “DY-EEE! DIME DOOPID.” YOU DON’T EVEN GET THAT LOSER BECAUSE YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A BRAIN CELL…….
Heh heh. Well, that’ll show her. It’s this key right over here, right next to the ‘a.’
Next we have to work on this sort of thing:
Schlussel, who speaks Hebrew, Arabic, French, and Russian, works closely with several Federal law enforcement agencies, consulting on fighting the domestic War on Terrorism, and has provided them with much useful information.
We can definitely handle French, but does Arabic even have capital letters? (So much to learn.)
If I say fuck will you ban me?
No one has ever said ‘fuck’ here before, so I really couldn’t say.
Well, I’m not gonna push my luck by saying fuck. I’m on thin ice as it is.
That’s good. And you definitely wouldn’t want to push your luck by saying ‘cum-gargling ass-twat monster fuck,’ because that has the word ‘fuck’ in it.
Ann Bartow alert.
I am pretty sure that “push your luck” is sexist.
(and it’s spelled “LOOSER.”)
Push your…?
You know, you’re right. I never thought of the implications like that before.
Hey, don’t talk about my luck as if it’s an object to be pushed! The only one pushing my luck will be me! And possibly Brad!
Is it alright if I say “Wankel rotary engine?”
Ha ha, that’s so mean, someone Katherine Harrised a photo of her. … Oh no, wait. God, is that nikko around her lips?
Gavin, I think this calls for unleashing the Saami. I can think of some choice things involving Schussel and a reindeer…
YEAH, THAT 9/11 WAS JUST A FANTASY. NEVER HAPPENED OR IT WAS DONE BY CHRISTIAN FIJIANS IF IT DID. RI-I-I-I-IGHT.
That’s my favorite part. A perfectly constructed non-sequitir strawman.
Debbie is yet another wingnut who makes tragic fashion choices. That picture with Hannity– yikes!
Debbie is yet another wingnut who makes tragic fashion choices. That picture with Hannity– yikes!
It’s often said that money can’t buy you style. I guess having a Mensa-level IQ doesn’t help either.
A perfectly constructed non-sequitir strawman.
Hrm. Maybe she should check the expiry date on her membership card.
She is claiming to believe that you if you aren’t wetting your pants like Debbie is you must either think 911 is a fantasy and never happened, or are confused about exactly which flavor of Kooky Religious Nutjob did 911.
That’s mental, not Mensa. I think it’s time for Debbie to get a dosage adjustment.
“NORTCLIFF”? MORE LIKE, “JUSTJUMPEDOFFACLIFF”
I reckon “snortclit” would have been funnier. I’m sure she thought of it (high IQ and all), but she just didn’t want to be vulgur. That’s admirable restraint. She’s certainly a better woman than I.
SURE, DEBBIE, AND I SUPPOSE THE NORMAN CONQUEST OF ENGLAND NEVER HAPPENED, OR WAS CARRIED OUT BY UPS GUYS. RII-III-IGHTY-OHHHHH. SO THERE.
Ow. Now I have a headache.
The threat (I am the power here, peon): WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE ON THIS SITE OR YOU’LL BE BANNED.
But we have a reason to be whiny (The “If you aren’t whiny, it’s denial” department.): THAT 9/11 WAS JUST A FANTASY. NEVER HAPPENED OR IT WAS DONE BY CHRISTIAN FIJIANS IF IT DID. RI-I-I-I-IGHT.
Culinary smack down: AS FAR AS BREAKFASTS GO, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF
Name play and death wish:”NORTCLIFF”? MORE LIKE, “JUSTJUMPEDOFFACLIFF”
It was deja vu…I had a discussion just like that in 4th grade..except I was called 4-eyes.
IS DEBBIE SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THEM HOTTIE GOPTRESSES? LOOKS TO ME THEY PUT TOO MUCH BUTTFAT IN HER LIPS AND STRETCHED HER EYES OUT TO LOOK CHINESEISH. THOUGHT I WAS READING MAOIST COMMUFACISM FOR A SECOND, UNTIL I REALISED SHE WAS A REAL BLONDE. BY THAT I MEAN STUPID. EVER HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE 8 BLONDES IN THE BAR SHOUTING, “57?” YEAH, THAT’S DEBBIE ALRIGHT.
Black Hole Debbie
Sadly, No has an enjoyable post revealing the art of wingnut comment humor on Debbie Schlussel’s hatepage. I enjoyed Debbie’s concise 1,725 word bio even more than her commenters’ wit, though, I must admit.
In case that tome wasn&#…
I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on until I realized that Debbie was inserting her own thoughts into the comments.
AND I CAN DO IT ANWHERE SO YOU’D BETTER WATCH OUT MOONBATS! BITCH I’M FLOWIN’ STRAIGHT FROM THE SURVIVAL SCROLL!
DEBBIE SCHUSSEL
She speaks Arabic? That’s so rare a skill in the West that she should be dusting up on her abilities and working with the government to carry out translation projects. Instead, she’s wasting time trying to spin nonsensical comebacks. Why does she hate America?
Why does she hate America?Because America is prettier than her and it used to tease her in Junior High School.
Did Berlusconi finally give it up and go home? He’s such a pee-pee head (as the news guys say). Where’s Gary?
When Gary’s not on the board, all of the other characters should be looking around, asking, “Where’s Gary?”
“AS FAR AS BREAKFASTS GO, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF”
That’s my favorite part. Note how she holds the high moral ground on Grape Nuts.
What’s the old joke? Her face is pulled so right that when she crosses her legs, her mouth snaps open.
TIGHT – face pulled so TIGHT. Of course, it was an understandable typo …
Schlussel, who speaks Hebrew, Arabic, French, and Russian, works closely with several Federal law enforcement agencies, consulting on fighting the domestic War on Terrorism, and has provided them with much useful information.
HEBREW, ARABIC, FRENCH AND RUSSIAN? WELL, WITH A TONGUE LIKE THAT, WE CAN ALL FIGURE OUT HOW DEBBIE GOT INTO MENSA…HA HA…SLUT!1!.
you think she sits next to Sharon Stone at the Mensa meetings?
Only insecure idiots tout their Mensa membership.
HEY, DEBBIE, YOU’RE IN MENSA? SO WHAT’S THE NEXT ELEMENT IN THIS SEQUENCE? “GO – FUCK – YOUR – ____”
Rude Capitals. Mmm-mmm good.
Gavin, are you practicing for the world o’ crap mug?
Schlussel, who speaks Hebrew, Arabic, French, and Russian, works closely with several Federal law enforcement agencies, consulting on fighting the domestic War on Terrorism, and has provided them with much useful information.Does anyone else get the impression that what this actually refers to is Debbie’s habit of constantly bothering federal (excuse me, Federal) law-enforcement agencies with paranoid reports on dark-skinned people in her neighborhood and crazy letters demonstrating a detailed organizational chart of the aliens who have infiltrated her local school board?
КÐ?КÐ?Я СУКÐ?!!1!!один!1!!
Lucy, that’s exactly what it is. And Debbie, God love’er, will admit, one day, that the entertainment she has provided us was her intent all along.
Or maybe not, and she’s just bull-goose loony. I’ve never seen her appearances on Howard Stern, so I was never able to judge for myself.
Деби: До Ñ?виданÑ?, кобаг!
!!1!!один!1!!
THAT was precious, Vaara.
�사합니다.
Hey, I thought of a funny name for Miss Schlussel:
Дебби Шлюха!
Ha ha ha! “Шлюха!” *snicker* *chortle*
“AS FAR AS BREAKFASTS GO, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF”
I’m still trying to parse this sentence. I can speak for myself as far as breakfasts go? How far do they go? Mine usually goes until lunch (OK sometimes I have a granola bar at 10 or so) so I can speak for myself only until lunch? Who speaks for me after lunch? What if I get hungry before lunch? Can I speak for myself after my granola bar?
And it isn’t just my breakfast that goes, it is breakfastS. So everybody’s breakfast goes and I can speak for myself as far as they go, but no further?
And where do the breakfasts go? And who speaks for them? If the person speaking for breakfasts says “fuck” do they get banned?
Gosh, I wish I were in Mensa so I could understand her.
So, has Debbie threatened to sue yet? I post her picture, and I get all kinds of lawsuit threats from her – and I’m a conservative – I just think she is out of her fricking mind!
See, conservatives and liberals can come to agreement on some things!
Here may be why Debbie and her rubes are so prone to peeing their PJs over the Brown Menace at their fat-as-fuck breakfast (probably not a church breakfast, with that moniker).
They can say what they will about poor Mexican folks who cross the Rio, but at least they can find Texas …
GREAT, SO YOU KNOW ALL THE ENGLISH FOUR-LETTER WORDS THAT EVEN ILLEGAL ALIENS WHO DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH KNOW.
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT DEBBIE? DO YOU HANG OUT WITH ALIENS AND SIT AROUND AND USE SWEAR WORDS? I’M SURE YOU DO. TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
Gavin: I never thought of the implications like that before.
that is what Ann is here for – to raise out consciousnesses.
that last anonymous was me. damn internets.
“Schlussel, who speaks Hebrew, Arabic, French, and Russian, but can’t say anything intelligent (let alone witty) in any of the” (hat tip to Dorothy Parker- now there was the master, ah mistress- of snappy come backs!)
Kathy
That woman is pure evil. She’s just trying to be the next Ann Coulter by being as idiotic as possible.
Stfu you fuck russians are cool they killed hitler and napolien so you can fuck off asswipe