The fact is, if some freedom-hating Mormon wasn’t shacked up outside Salt Lake City with 13 ungodly wives I might be getting some. Assuming they weren’t all fatsos or other liberal man-hating types.

The fact is that this is just another biased hit piece on religious people by John Gibson and the liberal press.

The fact is that the liberal media doesn’t know what we have in our fusterpocketses, my Precious.

The fact is the media hates polygymy because they’re jealous that they only get to have sex with Helen Thomas.

Gibson’s next groundbreaking report: The Grisly Side of Suicide.

The fact is…? that the dark side of poliygamy must, be exposed only because it’s time never for poly nups global. Then next it homos.

I agree, with Gary. “Liberals” have always wanted to polygamize our borders, for free!

I’ll wait for next week’s The Lighter Side of Serial Killers.

I for one am thankful for the Fox News Report. I had somehow gotten the notion that, in plural marriages, it was typical for the third-hottest wife to look like Chloe Sevigny.

For that misapprehension, I totally blame the MSM, not my own credulity. Kudos to Fox for opening my eyes.

Wait, I thought those crazy feminazi libruls wanted to destroy marriage altogether?

The fact is liberals want to legalize marriage between two consenting same-sex adults, but not when a sixty-five year old man wants to marry eight teenage girls. You can’t have it both ways!

The fact is that I like jumping on the bandwagon, even when it’s filled with band geeks.

The fact is that John Gibson’s teeth are like giant ivory doors, each one leading to a new chaste virgin (in a BYU cheerleader costume, no less).

Hey, hold on a second. There’s a dark side to polygamy? Well, kiss my grits.

The fact is, polygamy totally opens the door to man-on-dead-gay-box turtle sex. And liberals know this!

Since Fox News is fair and balanced ™, does this mean Bill O’Reilly will be doing a piece on the light side of polygamy?