And who could forget the comedic stylings of Amos and Andy? They just don’t make comedy gold like that anymore.

Hey, is that a tofu corndog?

I would like to point out that Jack Benny was funny and that Hindrocket does not speak for the majority of non-crazy Jack Benny fans.

Actually, since Jack Benny played a parody of the rich, miserly fat cat, I’m amazed that Hindrocket doesn’t condemn Comrade Benny for inciting class warfare.

Ironically, you can bet good money Colbert and the Colbert Report team are familiar with Power Line.

I’m probaby stating the obvious, but I’m pretty sure assrocket knows who colbert is. He’s been waiting to use that zinger on someone since Durbin thought it was PajamaLine.

Comedians, in general, don’t seem very funny to me nowadays. For that matter, neither does politics.

Yeah, but impeaching Bill Clinton for lying about a blow job: now there was pure comedy gold!

BillyD – I think you may be right. Does that mean he called him ‘Steve Colbert’ on purpose, rather than ‘Stephen’?

But assrocket is older, so maybe he really hasn’t heard of him.

Comedy Central is definitely a youth-oriented network. And, since he’s a conservative, he most likely hasn’t been ‘with it’ since sometime in the 70s, if ever.

Christ on a crutch! I nearly herniated myself going to Metamucil site to make an on-line purchase of the above mentioned mint flavored powder only to find out that this screed serves as a universal abstraction of liberal lies, receipts and deceptions.

There is only the plain and the shudder inducing , space age Tang tasting, orange flavored variety. Metamucil does not now have, nor have they ever had a mint flavor.

You can imagine all the effort AssRocket put into that short comment to get the exact degree of spite, dismissiveness, hauteur and expertise (he managed to mention a comedian who was in fact funny to people who appreciate humour).

Which only goes to show that AssRocket is fundamentatlly, profoundly humourless and will expend a great deal of energy to prove it.

He also lied by stating opinion as fact and by exaggeration…Colbert wasn’t virulently anti-Bush…that would have had to involve something along the lines of Chimpy McHilterhurton.

I read this somewhere else, butI agree with whoever wrote it that Colbert’s comedic style sometimes depends more on making people uncomfortable than it does on going for easy laughs.

And for people who have spent the last 5 years living in their bubbles, it must have made them mighty uncomfortable to be called out on their bullshit.

No wonder Assburner didn’t think it was funny. He’s exactly the sort of pundit Colbert was parodying.

What. A. Fucking. Tosspot.

(Why bother trying to say something witty where Assrocket is concerned? Oh, and watch the two videos he links to … there’s no question which one is funnier. Colbert.)

If you want to take a break from current events and remind yourself what it was like when comedians had no agenda other than being funny,

IT WAS A ROAST, YOU DUMBSHIT.

God, what a tedious cunt that guy is.

Comedians, in general, don’t seem very funny to me nowadays. For that matter, neither does politics.

No wonder I keep getting C-SPAN and Comedy Central all mixed up.

Colbert’s comedic style sometimes depends more on making people uncomfortable than it does on going for easy laughs.

Sometimes it relies on cheap laughs based on making people uncomfortable. For example, his bit on the Dukes of Hazzard where he asked the guy from the NAACP if he wanted to be the General Lee while Jessica Simpson was washing it.

But assrocket is older, so maybe he really hasn’t heard of him.

Ahem. Let’s just go ahead and call that a “youthful indescretion”. I’d like to point out that in spite of my advanced years, Colbert was my least favorite correspondent on the Daily Show, what, four years ago?

And while we’re on the subject, I’d like to point out that Metamucil is one of the two or three great discoveries of the second half-century of my life. As I explain to all my younger friends, it is “The Shit”…

mikey

Is it just me, or does that corndog prove intelligent design?

Atrios has bits of the transcript. I love this bit: Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I would like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., The chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It’s a Mallomar is what I’m describing, a seasonal cookie.

The object of satire doesn’t get the joke. Film at eleven.

Um . . . yes . . . well . . . .

Uh, thank you for sharing, Mikey. We’re all so happy for you.

The fact is that Colbert’s anti-Bush routine bombed so badly that even the liberal media didn’t want to touch it, because they knew how unfunny it was.

And this is a media which hypes albums by washed up druggy rockers like Pink and Neil Young.

This is a media that has put multiple songs bashing Bush into heavy circulation, including one about the war from a socialistic millionaire singer, one accusing Bush of lying to get us into war, and one telling people to sing for the terrorists.

The fact that Colbert bombed so horribly really detered the liberal media from over hyping him.

I know. Where does that bitch Christiane Amanpour get off playing her Ipod on CNN like it was her personal videoblog or something?

And I was down with the Pink and the Neil Young, but…Michael Bublé?? Comeon…..that’s just tacky.

[a song]accusing Bush of lying to get us into war

At long last, Mr. Young, have you no decency?

I think this week will be pretty good for Bush.

The media frothing tomorrow is going to be over two things, Iraq and immigration.

The media wants to overhype the so-called Mission Accomplished anniversary, but the fact is that Americans recognize the reason why we are still in Iraq. Because the media has emboldened the terrorists to keep fighting on.

As well, the illegal immigration rallies will be overhyped, and a lot of people won’t show up, because they have jobs. Only the people who had their jobs take the day off and unemployed bums will match for illegal immigrants tomorrow.

The police should do a raid on illegal immigrants on those rallies.

But the two issues that will come up are winners for Bush.

Most people recognize that the media’s vandetta against Bush is the reason for problems in Iraq.

Most people favor building a security barrier on the US/Mexican border. Most people favor enforcing laws to keep illegal immigrants out of America. Most people oppose blanket amnesty.

This week should be pretty good for Bush

Washed up druggy rockers like Pink and Neil Young? Um, these two have exactly WHAT in common? Gary, you buy your shit from them? Druggy? Dood, yer gonna have to try a little harder than that. Sheesh. Yer really crackin me up now.

And I’m a little slow, but help me out here. If a singer is “socialistic” (man, talk about tortured syntax!) why would that singer be a millionaire? Wouldn’t a socialistic singer redistribute the wealth? Gary, sorry, and I know I said I was gonna boycott you, but this is so freakin hilarious I had to bite. I just can’t quit you, man!!

Y’know, that’s the problem with the world today. Those damn socialistic millionaires. See, they’re socialistic ’cause they want to redistribute the wealth to the proletariat, but they just, er, haven’t gotten around to it yet.

I occasionally go to a wine tasting or two up in Napa valley, and on the name tag they make you wear I always put “International Art Thief”. But Gary’s done gone and hooked me up for all time. From now on I’m gonna put “Socialistic Millionaire”.

mikey

the socialist singer is a guy by the name of Eddie Vedder. He’s mad about the rich getting richer, yet he doesn’t appear to be doing much to stop that so-called problem.

The hits just keep on coming:

Most people recognize that the media’s vandetta against Bush is the reason for problems in Iraq. Emphasis Mine.

What’s a Vandetta, Gary? Is that the new hybrid Toyota MiniVan?

Most people favor building a security barrier on the US/Mexican border.

Actually, most people recognized, oh, about a thousand years ago, that barriers don’t really work in controlling human movement. But I’m sure you might have an enlightening conversation with Qin Shi Huangdi and the Ming Dynasty. But hey, we really don’t expect much in the way of intellectual discipline from you, Gary.

mikey

Actually, I’ve met Eddie. I had a (VERY small) role in developing the infrastructure by which Pearl Jam did real time concert CDs, and made them available the day after (or sometimes even the day of) the concert. Eddie is a genuine, caring person who would like to see the people get a fair shake. Check out the things that band has done to make sure that tickets for their shows are available to everyone, and at a fair price, to the extent they had control over that part. Once again, Gary, you know just enough to be, well, an idiot…

mikey

Gary, if everyone in the US of A is wise to the MSM tricks, why are Bush’s numbers so low?

Gary,

Build a wall?? You still harping on that? Maybe you should pass the hat around to Malkin, Hindrocket, LGF, Reynolds, Drudge, and see if you can gather up enough loose change from under the cushion’s of Mom’s couch to build it.

P.S. Does Maginot Line ring any bells? Do you even have bells to ring??

including one about the war from a socialistic millionaire singer, one accusing Bush of lying to get us into war, and one telling people to sing for the terrorists.

I’m always looking to pad out my CD collection. Anyone know which songs Ruppert the Bear is referring to?

Oh, Gary..

If you decide you want to build a wall seperating Alabama from the rest of the country, I’d be willing to go for that.

As Gary Ruppert’s Liege Lord, I feel that he’s getting an unfair shake here.

Most people (30%) Think that Bush is the right man to lead us In Iraq. I didn’t really like Stephen Colbert because Powerline told me he was bad, but that line he said about Reality having a liberal bias I think was a moment of truth. He must have slipped up in his liberalism there.

Also the people at Immigration rallies are all illegal jobless people using the first ammendment as a means to intimidate hard working Real Americans. I mean, if we go down there to bust their heads, they’ll just melt away and take our jobs.

Also it’s a well known fact that socialist millionaires were behind the new deal which was designed solely as a means to keep the poor poor and the socialist millionaires rich. Thank goodness Bush cut their taxes.

The fact is that Colbert’s anti-Bush routine bombed so badly that even the liberal media didn’t want to touch it, because they knew how unfunny it was.

Did you even watch the video, Gary? Scalia, of all people, was laughing his ass off at Colbert.

Everyone I know who watched it thought Colbert was hilarious, though the “audition tape” went on a bit too long. He “bombed” because he didn’t stick to making fun of Bush’s malapropisms and other safe targets.

Anyway, Gary, why we are supposed to be listening to people like you and “Captain” Ed and AssRocket about what’s funny? Have you ever said anything remotely funny on S,N! … a blog that is actually about humor? (I mean intentionally funny and not the macro-comedy of your very existence, BTW.)

Oh, here’s my take on this nonsense.

/cobag

Also it’s a well known fact that socialist millionaires were behind the new deal which was designed solely as a means to keep the poor poor and the socialist millionaires rich. Thank goodness Bush cut their taxes.

I heard George Soros has spent a trillion dollars to comedy researchers trying to develop the ultimate joke that will make Americans laugh at Bush. Luckily, they have failed so far.

Am I the only one who found the picture of assrocket cramming that wiener in his mouth to be simultaneously disgusting and arousing?

Probably.

HEY!! That’s a GREAT point!! Thanks, DA!! Gary, you are to funny what Nipples are to Banannas. So put a little effort into it, fer cryin out loud, or find some other bog to polute…

mikey

OK, I bow down before Gavin. I make a (blog) career of finding humiliating pictures of wingnuts and this is better than anything I’ve ever found or dreamed of finding. I am awestruck.

I heard George Soros has spent a trillion dollars to comedy researchers trying to develop the ultimate joke that will make Americans laugh at Bush. Luckily, they have failed so far.

It’s a well known fact that commedians go to school at left leaning universities, become jobless because of the liberal education, blame Bush for going to a liberal college and then make fun of him because of their hatred for America/him. George Soros pays their rent because he and the rest of those socialist millionaires hate America.

That is indeed a wonderful picture. Photoshopping out Gannon could not have been easy. Well done.

Ranking the funniest wingnut picture discoveries (before this Hinderaker discover of Gavin’s):

1. Bugeyes Malkin
2. Nekkid Gannon
3. Any picture of Ben Shapiro
4. “Iron Fist” in LGF biker club vest
5. Coulter prominent ‘man hands’ shots

Anyone else care to alter or update the heirarchy, given the Assrocket shot?

Also, how about wishlists for embarrassing pics of wingnuts? Mine:

Misha, Jeff Goldstein, Pamela puking or showing a nip

Jack Benny? I don’t care for his talking moving-pictures escapades myself. Comedy has gone straight into the chamber pot since that loveable scamp Charlie Chaplin pretended to be a member of the laboring underclass forced to consume his own footwear. I chortle at the very thought of it!

Excelsior, Major Woody, excelsior. Many chaps favor these modern-day picture-palaces that now line the avenues, but their tawdriness frankly gives me the ague!

Call me an old fusterpockets, but show me a Kinescope of a lady twirling an umbrella, and I’m the happiest man in spats.

It all went downhill with the decline of minstrelsy, if you ask me.

Pfaugh, you blokes and your dalliance with these machines.
There is nothing to compare with an absinthe and a comely vaudevillist with a bawdy song and a flash of the lower limbs.

Viva la Moulin Rouge!

Old Fusterpockets!!

mikey

I 100% love the “some person or persons unknown to me up til now, and clearly impossible for me to familiarize myself with, but certainly it is more important for me to bring you this punditry where I offer a comment on something I didn’t watch with someone I don’t know. I still lay claim to being an expert.” Plus, if I am not mistaken Mr. Hinderaker has won his 6 team fantasy league at some point. DA, how could you miss that? I surmise that he had some nephew purloin him champion’s Tee shirt from something called “the eBay”.

Additionally, when your version of cutting edge media (something known as the web) is behind the older version of media, known as cable, you kind of don’t deserve that delicious looking corn dog. Not that John H. knows what that is. He probably calls it a pronto-pup and he got it at the 4H tent at the County Fair. “I just loves me some of those piggies!”

George W. Bush is the greatest president this country has ever known. It’s as if Jesus himself became president, but with way more killing.

Bush’s cock is twelve inches long too. I just know it. I’ve been checking out the bulge in his pants.

Ah, yes, the REAL Gar-Bear finally comes out! I knew you had it in you! [insert joke here]

OK, now, I’m pretty sure that last one was a Gary spoof.

Not 100%, though.

To see the entire Colbert video (3 parts, 25 minutes) in youtube version, click on my name/website.

Pfaugh, you blokes and your dalliance with these machines.
There is nothing to compare with an absinthe and a comely vaudevillist with a bawdy song and a flash of the lower limbs.

Sir, I take issue. As a modern man, I am a decisive booster of the marriage of Muse and machine, and predict that the Zoetrope will one day be nearly as esteemed among the popular arts as the tableau vivant or the Toastmasters’ Club.

Perhaps you find such a prediction daring, but in these days of motor-cars and Edison Talking Cylinders, it is any man’s guess what the wizards may think up next!

I don’t know, Dan; if it was an imposter, wouldn’t the real Gar-Bear be stamping his little footsies all over the place by now? Nobody can throw a tantrum like a right-wing wanker. Waaaaahhhh!

GWB is indeed the greatest President this country (or any country for that matter) has seen or will ever see.

This fact is obvious and apparent to everyone with a brain and requires no further explanation or examination.

I have never seen Mr. Bush’s penis nor would I be so bold as to actually look if the opportunity presented itself.

I can say however that it must be (again by definition) simply magnificent.

You know, the spoof doesn’t work as well when you misspell his NAME! Geez, do I have to tell you people everything?!?

Nice job, though, with capturing the condescending yet slavish tone.

The second Gary parody was a little better than the first, despite the misspelling of the name. The real Gary is way too prudish to use the word “cock” and would certainly use the more clinical “penis.”

Hmmm… I must say I find the second faux-Gary more convincing (misspelling notwithstanding), though there is a somewhat glaring lack of reference to “liberals”, “the media” (or some combination thereof) or the use of a non-sequiter issue statement with no discernable segue.
Get that down, and by golly, you’ll have something!

Yeah, that second one is a little light on the RNC talking points. You need something like, “The fact is, you liberals (“the liberal media” would also be acceptable) wouldn’t know the penis of a great man if it slapped you in the face.”

Also, Gary usually has a couple of typos/spelling errors in his rants. He would use “penis” but he’d probably spell it “pennis.” However, after the whole “God will make more oil” rant, I wouldn’t put it past him to use something like “Sword of Jesus.”

after the whole “God will make more oil” rant

Wait, I thought that was a pretend Gary? Oh, I’m so confused…

The essential elements of a Gary parody, or “Garody”:

1. It should start with “The fact is…”
2. No actual fact should follow “The fact is…”
3. At least one reference to the “liberal media”
4. Some prediction of the future that is favorable to Greater Wingnuttia
5. Name-dropping of God and/or Jeebus

The problem is, most Garodies are funny, whereas the real Gary’s posts are totally witless. Demogenes had it right: Gary’s mere existence is kind of funny, but not his actual posts.

“The fact is, Iraq will become a stable democracy no thanks to the liberal media.”

Damn, no room for a gratuitous reference to God or Jesus. This is harder than it seems.

The fact is that the liberal media’s strategy of bashing Bush will backfire when Jesus returns to judge the world and send all the terrorists and socialistic Democrats to hell.

I like how Hidenburg is so proud of not knowing who Stephen Colbert is. I feel like giving him a cookie – he’s just so happy to be so out of touch!

There is nothing to compare with an absinthe and a comely vaudevillist with a bawdy song and a flash of the lower limbs.

That was a lot of fun – and so was Jack Benny’s radio show! Sometimes I miss that era, but then I think about how much fun this era is and I feel better.

I haven’t owned a television since 1989, and even I know who Stephen Colbert is.

I presume that since Gary referred to Neil Young as a “druggie”, he’s seen the unedited footage of “The Last Waltz” complete with the infamous “Neil nostril cam”.

“Neil Nostrilcam” would make a great pseudonym.

I\’ve only seen a few minutes of the Colbert bit on headline news, but the parts I saw were hilarious. \”To say that the shake up in the white house is nothing more than rearranging deck chairs on the titanic is a lie. This administration is soaring, if anything they\’re rearranging deck chairs on the hindenburg.\”

btw, Gary, weren\’t you the one who predicted a win for Burlesconi? How\’s he doing right now? I\’m sure we can expect the same results on your \”good week for bush\” and \”Protests will fizzle\” predictions.

Zounds, ye Comedie afterr ye Fashon of ye Day must needs be most unlike ye dulcet Words of Yore, when Menn were Menn, and ye Comedies were not inspired by ye blasted Curse of ye Day, ye modern Brimstone, ye olde Cracke Rocke! (or divers Plagues, viz. Cranke, and Corne-Doggues, and Malkins, &c.).

I need to add another point about the t-shirt that is revealing of chumpwaddery. It appears as if it has never been washed. Those shirts are cheapies and that one is bright red. It was either chosen especially for this occasion or Hindy doesn’t wash it. I bet he calls it his precious.

The question is, what is the sound of one weiner eating another?

Does anyone know who was responsible for Colbert’s being hired in the first place? Someone at the WH? The Press Corps? I’m just curious as to whether or not they still had a job today… I’m thinking “not.”

The fact is, Stephen Colbert is the bravest (and one of the funniest) men in America today.

Is it just me, or is any “serious” picture of Hinderaker always kind of creepy? It’s like looking at Dennis Leary if he was a neocon, had forgotten his cigarettes that day, and taken a few hits of LSD.

I, for one, laughed the entire time at Colbert. It makes sense–my father is a neocon and says I have no sense of humor.

“and one telling people to sing for the terrorists.”

If you are referring to the dresden dolls.. the line is “sing for the president, sing for the terrorsits, sing”, and the song generally about hope and re-establishing communication with the people around you. It is not political. Either you completely ignored everything except for 4 words of the song, or you are deliberately twisting it for rhetorical purposes. Either way, listen again.

Hey good for him you know.

Go Colbert! As wacky and wierd as he is, I’d vote for him.