What’s The Matter With St. Louis?

jim_hoft_portrait
ABOVE: James Percival Hoft, Fourth Earl of
Grosconnard and First Pundit of Gateway


I think one of the reasons that conservatives thought that Terry Schiavo was still sentient was that they were reading Jim Hoft, the “Gateway Pundit,” and thought that if this guy, who clearly is missing most of his brain, can write a blog, well, then, it must be completely possible that Terry Schiavo might jump up from her bed and announce that she had just discovered a five-line proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem.

You may think I exaggerate about Hoft’s severely diminished mental capacity, but consider this:

Now that the whole world knows that Fort Hood killer Nidal Hasan is an Islamist terrorist and nobody’s buying that he’s a victim, the state-run media’s moved on to a new tactic and are calling this Islamic radical a “conservative.”

In case you’re wondering, the “state-run media” is CNN and the statement in question is this:

DREW GRIFFIN: Hasan made no attempt to hide his religion or his conservative Muslim ideology.

No, really. That’s what has Hoft in a spittle-flecked seizure of stuttering outrage.

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Words. Fail.

 

Comments: 137

 
 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Yeah, they didn’t like the Soviets who resisted glasnost and perestroika to be called “conservative,” either. Oh well, “It’ll take less to do ’em” as my Mom used to say.

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Er, no. No, it doesn’t.

 
 

pretty fucking stupid

 
 

I’ve noticed he consistently has the most stupid (in the sense of trying to be offensive & making an ass of himself) headlines, unless he really believes some of that crap.

To make this worth while, a photo of the Earl, two other luminaries of the cretin-o-sphere, & a GOP Congresscritter (the little person w/ the Napoleonic deal going on behind those beady little eyes) whose name I forget. Jim easily has the stupidest expression (the others exhibiting at least an animal cunning).

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Strip clubs with, like, women? No, that doesn’t sound at all like an American conservative.

 
 

I saw a comment online at a MSM site the day after the shooting that said “This is why liberals shouldn’t be allowed to carry guns. ”

A. I don’t like Liberals
B. I don’t like that guy
Therefore:
C. That guy is a Liberal

 
Chicago City Comptroller
 

Yeah Hoft, there’s nothing the least bit conservative about extremist Muslims. Saudi Arabia is just a giant gay Wiccan Hippy Commune.

 
 

Or,

A. I am conservative.
B. I am good.
C. He is a bad Muslim.
D. He can’t be conservative.
E. Hulk mad!

 
 

All the feminist men like to hang out at stripclubs, because we have lots of illegal welfare checks that we put in the g-strings of the young MILFs. Then we impregnate them just so they can taunt us with their abortion rights.

But when we get our lapdances, we best keep our hands to ourselves because the bouncers work for ACORN. And those guys will even attack the people the SEIU goons pity. Actually, we all pity that guy, but not for the reason he thinks.

Plus: Honky Tonk Badonkadonk is a well-known liberal anthem, traditionally played after La Marseillaise but before the pledge where we grab our crotches*. Motley Crue, Aerosmith, AC/DC, and Guns and Roses are also known for their feminist views and are widely-regarded restrained, sober, and masculine role models fit for the emasculated men of tomorrow.

*http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2009/11/who-is-this-guy.html

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

True, but what we don’t know is if he was to frequent airport mens rooms or not. So we can’t tell if he was like typical American conservative in that sense.

 
 

And, from the article:

These people in the media continue to refer to anything they think is evil as “conservative.”

Unlike the right, who never call things “liberal” because they think it is evil

 
 

There are some highly advanced thinkers hanging out in Gateway Pundit’s comments sections.

From a post about Putin appearing at an awards show where crazy jungle music was being played:
At least the russians have a real “he-man” for president. No one doubts his toughness… He lets his fist do all the talking for him.

If you want to be respected by other nations you need to be feared. (Commenter then describes how Hitler’s foreign policy won respect in East Asia while FDR’s did not.)

From a post about how Obama is plotting to give citizenship to millions of swarthy illegal immigrants:
With 20-30 million new, beholden citizens to vote for them, they (the Democrats) can stay in power forever. And they don’t even have to rely on Acorn.

I’m glad I don’t have an all-powerful magical Moonbat-Eraser button on my desk. One that would cause every single moonbat to just up and keel over. Because some days? I don’t think I would hesitate to jump up and down on that button, press it a few extra times just to be sure. Fighting the 8th-century barbarians would be a cakewalk with no moonbats in the frikkin way.

He’d perform ritual human sacrifice in the WH if it meant people would be outraged over that instead of Deathcare

I mean, what’s next? Dismantling the military? Outlawing religion? Mandatory abortions? Putting the elderly to sleep because they’re no longer productive? What other evil plans can they have?

 
 

I can only imagine how he would complain about conservative playcalling by a football coach. He’d probably like it better than that socialist spread the offense around strategy…

 
 

This is the the result of paying the Pantload to write a book. Doubleplus ungood, Jonah. You caused poor Hoft to hurt himself. His brain won’t even fart correctly now

 
 

Constant whining self-victimization about how Hollywood movies, video games, and pop culture are corrupting the young and threatening their way of life? Check.

Rabid insistence that their god is the only god (even if the other guys’ god is just a different name for the same god) and the denigration of anyone who isn’t on their god-team? Check.

Ultra-orthodox, often violent, punishment of any deviation from traditional social and gender roles? Check.

Baseline belief that secular education is inherently morally corrosive? Check.

A quick resort to violence, or the threat of violence, when things don’t go your way politically? Checkity-check-check.

Schnoper, no similarities between the Fundies and the Taliban at all.

 
 

“”His brain won’t even fart correctly now””

YOU HAVE DESTROYED HIS DREAMS.

 
 

Damn. LD stole my line and posted it several hours ago!

 
 

Words. Fail.

No, Hoft brain fail.

EPIC FAIL

 
 

“By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.”

Really? Sounds exactly like one to me.

 
 

Chicago city c’yroller,

You forgot the gay abortions

 
 

“By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative”.

Are you kidding? In about six months, Carrie Prejean will be picking dollars up off a strip club stage – no hands.

 
 

“”What other evil plans can they have?””

What, indeed?

 
 

OT, but in the south, in the heartland, there is still hope for our future. You gotta love this kid. I also love the way his mom handled things…

Eventually, Phillips said, the principal told her that the altercation was over Will’s refusal to stand for the pledge of allegiance, and admitted that it was Will’s right not to stand. Given that, Laura Phillips asked the principal when they could expect an apology from the teacher. “She said, ‘Well I don’t think that’s necessary at this point,’ ” Phillips said.

 
 

Wow. All of a sudden I’m proud to be an Arkansan.

 
 

Yay, kid!

 
 

Strip Clubs? Hah! There’s gotta be wetsuits, dildoes, diapers, and a wide stance before we can even talk about him as a conservative.

 
 

And, yay, parents. They are doing something quite wonderful. As a parental unit, I always wonder if I am doing enough to make sure my son is aware of such things and his responsibilities. Sometimes I think I am doing a good job, sometimes not so much. These parents clearly are. Good on them.

 
 

If you want to be respected by other nations you need to be feared. (Commenter then describes how Hitler’s foreign policy won respect in East Asia while FDR’s did not.)

Criminy. ‘Cuz FDR then got his ass kicked so thoroughly by Hitler and Japan, y’know.

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Naw, your typical American conservative just tries to drag his wife to them and gets all gob-smack surprised when she decides to divorce him over it.

Eric’s whining reminds me so much of Limbaugh during the First Gulf War. He was SO incensed that the elite Iraqi forces were called the “Republican Guard”. He decided that was some kind of liberal smear and insisted they be called the “LiberalDemocrat Guard”.

Really.

 
 

This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Well, in fairness to Hoft, it did not say gay strip club.

 
 

If you want to be respected by other nations you need to be feared. (Commenter then describes how Hitler’s foreign policy won respect in East Asia while FDR’s did not.)

Goddamnit, why can’t these fuckwits just come out of the closet and admit that they admire Hitler’s manly governance and shiny jackboots and why can’t we have a leader like THAT instead?

For all the pictures of Obama with a toothbrush moustache, they certainly seem to have a deep love of der Fuerer and pre-war Germany.

 
 

Wasn’t it documented that attendance levels at all the New York strip clubs, massage parlors, etc. went through the roof when the GOP had their convention there a few years back?

 
 

Geez, Hoft is like my friend who refused to go to a liberal arts school because it was called a liberal arts school.

 
 

pere,

Seriously, they got pissed over that…

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative

And it sure as hell doesn’t sound like your typical radical, Muslim, extremist bent on committing terrorist acts in his own country.

 
Lady Doctor Missus Mommy Marita
 

The Dash Board: Dash seems to be suffering only from the sleeps today (and not a tummyache) and demonstrates the level of cute required to make mommy willing to sacrifice the eating of cheese and butter (among other things), possibly for an entire year.

 
 

Now Gateway Pundit (driver of the short bus) is having a fit that the President bowed to the Japanese emperor.

 
 

I saw a comment online at a MSM site the day after the shooting that said “This is why liberals shouldn’t be allowed to carry guns. ”

I like it! A bold new step. Let’s not work with half-measures, after all. Let’s go beyond the wimpy idea of making laws that only apply to people of a certain color or a certain ethnicity – let’s go all the way and make laws that only apply to people with certain political ideology. Do it for freedom! Wolverines!

 
Boneless Meatloaf
 

It really must have bent Rush’s crank that they were almost always referred to as the “Elite” Republican Guard too.

The only explanation for this incredible imbecility is authoritarian personality disorder. Words can only mean _one thing_ to them, and _one thing only_. They really seem to be incapable of generalization, and are rigidly literal to beyond the point of absurdity.

 
 

Now Gateway Pundit (driver of the short bus) is having a fit that the President bowed to the Japanese emperor.

What a pussy. Obama needs to assert America’s dominance and superiority; if he shows weakness like this in an attempt to appease the Japanese, we’re going to find ourselves under attack by the Japan Self-Defense Force any day now.

He should have walked up to the emperor, slapped him across the face, said, “That’s what the world’s number one polluter thinks of your Kyoto Accords,” made two peace signs with his hands, and left.

 
 

Pity me. I am going back to my hometown the Lou for Thanksgiving to be reminded of why I left and what the great city was when I was born there — not that I remember distinctly, but legend tells.

Also, I am to see my cousins who harken from the same town of Limbaugh’s origins and happen to be great admirers of his.

I will witness German catholics with lawns peppered with save the babeez signs, the old Catholic school where all good, concerned white folks sent their children.

Oh lord. Why?

 
Carrie Prejean's Webcam Schlick Flicks
 

And yet, the acephalism displayed by Hoft is still not blatant enough for the masses (and the villagers) to recognize.

That’s because it’s contagious.

 
 

The only explanation for this incredible imbecility is authoritarian personality disorder. Words can only mean _one thing_ to them, and _one thing only_. They really seem to be incapable of generalization, and are rigidly literal to beyond the point of absurdity.

That’s why Nazis=National Socialists=Socialists=Communists=Liberals=Democrats=Obama=Hitler!

 
 

Words can only mean _one thing_ to them, and _one thing only_.

They were really upset about the whole Republican Guard thing? For realz? I completely missed that. I guess it makes sense, what with the Nazis were too socialist because it said so in their name! thing.

I’m going to make a point of referring to “Saddam’s Republican Guard” as much as possible from now on. Oh, and telling repubs I have special Terrorist Repelling Rocks for sale, too. How can you go wrong with that?

 
Boneless Meatloaf
 

Joe Bob: “It’s the DEMOCRATIC People’s Republic of North Korea, right? Damn Commies.”

Billy Bob: “Buh–but how can it be Democratic AND Republican??”

Joe Bob: “No WONDER those guys are so f’d up, right?”

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative

Conservative like Illinois Congressman Jack Ryan [R], IMNSHO.

 
 

Hoft got this from Limbaugh. Following the link to the Limbaugh transcript, one finds further outrage.

RUSH: Yeah, but it… See, we are the “extremists.” Obama is calling us the extremists. This guy [Hasan] is a mainstream Islamofascist. But, no, your point is well taken. Look, the media calls Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the mullahs “the conservative leadership in Iran.”

Imagine that.

 
 

The state-run CNN also attempts to insult all Christians as murdering terrorists because they used the word “religion”.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

Dash seems to be suffering only from the sleeps today (and not a tummyache) and demonstrates the level of cute required to make mommy willing to sacrifice the eating of cheese and butter (among other things), possibly for an entire year.

That’s very good news, though I have trouble believing that there’s actually a level of cuteness that would get me to sacrifice cheese and butter…

*click*

…but that comes pretty damn close. Aww. 🙂 And when you compare that to the cuteness of vile green baby poop, it just might do it.

 
The Goddamn Batman Will Occasionally Visit A Strip Club When Looking For The Catwoman, And Besides, The Pretty Ladies Will Sit On His Lap And Play With The Ears On His Cowl, So, You Know, What The Hell, Man
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Right. When I lived in Memphis in the nineties, despite it being a fairly conservative town (one of many that claimed to be the buckle of the Bible Belt), it had some of the skankiest, anything-goes strip clubs that I’ve ever seen; there was one, about a block from the main FedEx facility, where it was rumored the girls would do you in one of the booths in the back for an extra tip. They did finally shut down the “massage parlors” in the mid-nineties, I’ll give them that much.

 
 

“It’s right up their with their conservative teabagger jokes.”

Supply the missing word(s).

 
 

They were really upset about the whole Republican Guard thing? For realz?

I don’t know about the wingnut horde as a whole (there were no Intratubes thingz then) but I do know Rush was upset, poor baby.

Of course, he also failed to know the fact that “SCUD” was a NATO designation for the missiles, and not an Iraqi name. He was upset about that, too, for a while, until someone pointed it out to him. It took a while for that to happen, even with ’91’s equivalent of the 101st Keyboarders listening to his every word.

 
 

Well, Rush isn’t the keenest intellect – he claimed Sarah Palin’s new book is the most substantial book on policy he’s ever read. Seriously.

 
 

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

Heh.

I’m glad I don’t have an all-powerful magical Moonbat-Eraser button on my desk. One that would cause every single moonbat to just up and keel over. Because some days? I don’t think I would hesitate to jump up and down on that button, press it a few extra times just to be sure. Fighting the 8th-century barbarians would be a cakewalk with no moonbats in the frikkin way.

Ignoring just how fucking cowardly this is, he’d “erase” fellow Americans so he could fight barbarians? Why not cut to the chase and wish for a barbarian eraser button? Or is he afraid it wouldn’t be discriminating enough to leave him and his cohort unkeeled?

 
 

Why not cut to the chase and wish for a barbarian eraser button?

It’s not just that conservatives want their enemies gone. They want to go through the whole process of killing them.

Conservatives are like Klingons. Without enemies, their lives are empty.

 
 

They want to go through the whole process of killing them.

I think for the most part they’re too cowardly for that, but barbaric enough to wish they weren’t.

 
 

This reminds me of my wingnut brother insisting that Louis Farrakhan is a liberal.

They just won’t own the fact that Islamic fundamentalism is a right-wing ideology, just like their own. “But we’re GOOD people and they’re BAD people! They must be liberals!”

 
 

Well, Rush isn’t the keenest intellect – he claimed Sarah Palin’s new book is the most substantial book on policy he’s ever read looked at the pictures in. Seriously.

I mean really, like Rush would actually read any policy book.

 
Season Two of Carrie Prejean's Webcam Schlick Flick is Coming!
 

a barbarian eraser button

A beautiful shiny button. A jolly candy-like button!

Can we withstand the temptation to push the button, that beckons us ever closer?

Can we hold out??

 
 

Maybe I’m remembering wrong here, but wasn’t there a time, like 5-10 years ago, when conservatives had balls? And a sense of humor? And they wouldn’t break down into a quivering lump of “HE CALLED ME A BAD NAME, A BLOO BLOO BLOO” at every (perceived) offense? I’d prefer that model to current crop of emoriffic fucktards who can’t take a joke about Republicanism without bawling about how the LIBRUL MEEJA just HAE8s conservatives so much, even if I am remembering wrong.

 
 

I’ll see your “words fail” and raise you. From the comments:

“How can you call him a “conservative” Muslim, when he wore the clothing, talked the talk, gave speeches about beheading infadels, had prayer rugs in his home, attended Muslim mosques, and yelled “Allah Akbar” when he started shooting….. conservative? If he’s a conservative Muslim, I’d had to see what their definition of a radical Muslim is…….”

Top that.

 
teh Universal Schlong
 

Keep doing that thing with your tongue, Jimmy!

 
Boneless Meatloaf
 

“Fighting the 8th-century barbarians would be a cakewalk with no moonbats in the frikkin way.”

Says the 9th-century barbarian.

Is that the concept? That our troops haven’t defeated the 8th-century barbarians ten times over already because the moonbats are in the way? I guess that has to be the only explanation. If only we could just nuke everything over there, that would solve the problem in a matter of hours. Just push the magic eraser button.

Psychotic fantasy world.

 
 

The Hordes Of Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy Writers said,

November 14, 2009 at 19:13

Hum.

Maybe if I am going to comment from two different computers I should pick up on the fact that I changed my ‘nym last night for a cheap joke and change it back, to avoid looking like a total clodhopper.

 
 

Maybe I’m remembering wrong here, but wasn’t there a time, like 5-10 years ago, when conservatives had balls?

Yes, you are remembering wrong.

Conservatives are by definition, sniveling whiners.

Some even go on to be Professional Victims.

 
a concerned citizen
 

Some logic exercises.

1a. Feminazis are liberals.
1b. Feminazis hate strip clubs because they hate women who are sexually attractive.
1c. Therefore, liberals hate reason and facts and logic.

2a. CNN is the state-run media.
2b. Conservatives ran the government from 2001-2006.
2c. Therefore, conservatives ran CNN from 2001-2006.

 
 

And when you compare that to the cuteness of vile green baby poop, it just might do it.

Back in the old days (1930 or so) there were a lot of programs to get people off of morphine & opium, mostly involving OTHER fun psychoactives such as atropine and hyoscyamine (and in some unfortunate cases, heroin). Anyway, one of the things they’d look for to signify that someone was finally clean was a “bilious green stool”.

Not suggesting that Dash had a monkey on his lil’ back, but just thought I’d mention it as a Fun Fact you can share at fancy parties and such.

 
 

Speaking of the Moon…

Ya-the motherfucking-Hoo!

 
 

Tintin, I must thank you for the 18th century renditions of conservatards like Hoft. They are hilarious.

The smile, oh my God, is it REAL? Blisteringly funny.

This photo would look smashing in a pile of hair too.

 
 

Yes, Leslie, that is a real smile from a real photo of the Hoftard. And your photo of him is terrific. I feel another portrait of Hoft coming on.

 
 

Now that the whole world knows that Fort Hood killer Nidal Hasan is an Islamist terrorist and nobody’s buying that he’s a victim …

Sure, nobody but a few terrorist-lover whackos who`d believe that a Muslim could ever be a VICTIM of abuse, especially in such a progressive & oh-so-huggable cultural milieu as the US Army. You know, like his Staff Counselor & his CO most likely did – unless they`d already seen it happen themselves, which would promptly eliminate their need to believe anything that craaaaaaaaazy.

U R AL HOFTS BITCHIZ NAU LIBZ

RUSH: Yeah, but it… See, we are the “extremists.” Obama is calling us the extremists.

Tru dat.

Not having to be as civil in deportment as your POTUS is, I can use the proper title: dipshit-supremacists.

The GOP today may actually be an even lulzier case of the morbidity-hangover that follows in the wake of extreme over-reach than the late Roman Empire!

If they don`t get some ice on that thing soon it`s going to just straight-up turn black & shiny & drop right off. The novelty Whig Party I`ve seen on these here very same Intertrons looks to me like it would fry the Goopers` arses raw in an actual policy debate (aka a platform versus platform cage-match) without even getting their hair messy, let alone breaking a sweat – & they seem a far more likely opposition to effectively keep the Dems honest(er) to boot.

Hot diggity fucko, I daresay not even Pee-Wee Herman on PCP could make this shit up.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

So Rush Limproids was incensed about the Republican Guard, was he? Did anybody object to Vladimir Zhirinovski calling his neo-Fascist party the “Liberal Democratic Party?” Refresh my memory.

 
Speaking as a stripper....
 

I’m concerned when I see guys in full Muslim costume come in and start asking for a lap dance. You never know if they’re there to blow the place up or what.

[Tintin adds: Judging from the IP address, this bullshit comes from “Center Left Grrrrrrrrrrrrl”]

 
 

nobody’s buying that he’s a victim, the state-run media’s moved on to a new tactic and are calling this Islamic radical a “conservative”

RUSH: Yeah, but it… See, we are the “extremists.” Obama is calling us the extremists.

Nobody plays the victim card while sneering about victimization better than these guys. It really is a Gift.

 
 

I can only assume he’s arguing that a ‘typical American conservative’ wouldn’t let people know about his strip club visits.

 
 

2a. CNN is the state-run media.
2b. Conservatives ran the government from 2001-2006.
2c. Therefore, conservatives ran CNN from 2001-2006.

All too plausible, actually.

 
 

1. Socialism!
2. Shut up! That’s Why!

 
 

The fact is, what Obama is doing is just like Hitler but the liberals will never admit it.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

2b. Conservatives ran the government from 2001-2006.

CNN clearly falls under the purview of the executive branch, which means it would have been run by conservatives until Jan 20, 2009.

Who was Bush’s Secretary of Conservative Delusions anyway?

 
 

Oh Gary, the fact is none of those words mean what you think they mean, including “the,” “but,” and “it.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, I am to see my cousins who harken from the same town of Limbaugh’s origins and happen to be great admirers of his.

Ha, I am going to be in Limbaugh’s birthplace for Thanksgiving (why this *just now* occurred to me, I do not know). Most of my family is very cool, though, except my uncle and my Paultard cousin and his wife. I’m convinced that he’s a closet liberal, though, and doesn’t even realize it.

St. Louis isn’t *that* bad. Then again, I’d take Kansas City over St. Louis any day.

 
Boneless Meatloaf
 

I’ll never forget that time Hitler spoke to the League of Nations and suggested that Germany needed to kind of tone it down a little. Yeah.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ll never forget that time Hitler spoke to the League of Nations and suggested that Germany needed to kind of tone it down a little. Yeah.

Or when he totally bowed to the Saudi King AND the Japanese Emperor. And gave the Queen an iPod.

 
 

You know how Blacktorian Obama became President?

7 of 9 thought having sex in public was a bad idea.

Conservative Republicans? Well, they looked at it differently:

A spokeswoman for Mr. Ryan’s campaign, Kelli Phiel, said Mr. Ryan ”has spent some time calling Republican leaders nationally and locally, and is receiving great support from leaders within the party and also from rank-and-file members.”

 
 

Did anybody object to Vladimir Zhirinovski calling his neo-Fascist party the “Liberal Democratic Party?”

Why would anyone have a problem with that?

 
 

Oh wait, I see- they left out the word socialist.

Normally that would be a problem. But the fact is, we all know they are socialists because of the words fascist, liberal and democratic.

Indeed, that they could go ahead and leave the ‘socialist’ out, but any astute observer would know by intuition that they were socialists is somewhat central to my point….

 
 

Oh wait, I see- they left out the word socialist.

Tee hee! Though I think to be pitch perfect it would have to have been brought to your attention by a reader.

 
 

Sheesh, what a complainer I sound like. The rest was laugh-out-loud perfect.

 
 

w007!

Center Left Gerbil is back!

Recovered from that whippits bender with Lou Reed in the back of the hollowed out location property that was CBGBs, I see.

 
 

This great conservative loves strippers.

However, he does not believe women should get maternity leave and being female is a pre-existing condition.

 
 

Sheesh, what a complainer I sound like.

No, you’re right, that would have been better. 😉

Unfortunately, I’m not quite able attain the true heights of the Goldbergian mind-set as completely as I’d really like to. I should probably go over to the corner and really study up on his oeuvre, paying special attention to the subtle nuances and –

Gah! I can feel brain cells dying just joking about it…..

 
 

The fact is, what Obama is doing is just like Hitler…

As Obama masses troops near the frontier, agents of ACORN are launching small-scale raids against Czechoslavakian police and border forces within the Sudetenland.

 
 

This great conservative loves strippers.

However, he does not believe women should get maternity leave

Do they even make nursing pasties?

Unfortunately, I’m not quite able attain the true heights of the Goldbergian mind-set

Apparently the word “heights” has shades of meaning of which I was previously unaware. I used to work in the heights of a sub-basement at university.

 
 

Hot damn, we’ve got another bowing controversy.

I have to say, I admire Obama’s ability to abase himself before the heads-of-state of American allies, AT THE SAME TIME as insulting them with inadequate gifts.
It’s a quantum-mechanics thing. The wave function does not have to collapse to one or other of the two superposed states if, instead of observing the situation, you simply say whatever you were going to say all along.

 
 

Apparently the word “heights” has shades of meaning of which I was previously unaware.

HTH.

 
 

Oops! It’s not ‘Czechoslavakian’. The correct spelling is ‘Czechoalabaman’.

 
 

Well, one thing’s for sure — Bush sure couldn’t make the trains run on time.

http://www.bts.gov/publications/transportation_statistics_annual_report/2007/html/chapter_02/table_c_04.html

We’re sure to see a dramatic jump in these statistics under Obamitler.

 
 

I admire Obama’s ability to abase himself before the heads-of-state of American allies, AT THE SAME TIME as insulting them with inadequate gifts.

OMG JUST LIKE HITLER!

 
 

…oh, I thought you meant bowing

 
 

Well, one thing’s for sure — Bush sure couldn’t make the trains run on time. [Proof that conservatives hate fascism this is]

We’re sure to see a dramatic jump in these statistics under Obamitler.
[Proof of his Islamohitlerism this will be]

 
 

Apparently the word “heights” has shades of meaning of which I was previously unaware. I used to work in the heights of a sub-basement at university.

Heh. Sad thing is, I originally meant that ironically. Then I read some of the comments at the links J left and, well… Lets just say that even the shores of Dead Sea looks like a lofty perch when most of your fellow travelers are scuttling around in the Marianas trench. Dear lord.

 
 

Vacuumslayer said,

November 14, 2009 at 16:53

Wow. All of a sudden I’m proud to be an Arkansan.

What? There’s three of us here? (Jen being the third)

What are the odds of all Arkansas liberals being on one board at the same time…

 
 

If and when Obama starts rounding up these yea-hoos and putting them in the re-education camps, then I will admit he’s a bit like Hitler.

In amongst the cheering and high-fiving, of course.

 
 

Czechoslavakian police and border forces within the Sudetenland.
Don’t be mixing up Slovaks with Slavs. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of people who have a partially-fricative raised alveolar non-sonorant trill in their language.

 
 

Now that the whole world knows that Fort Hood killer Nidal Hasan is an Islamist terrorist and nobody’s buying that he’s a victim …

Either/or. It is absolutely impossible that he was both. According to Hoft, you can only be one thing, and “terrorist” and “victim” are two things. So HA!

By the way Hasan was known to frequent strip clubs. … This hardly sounds like your typical American conservative.

LD stole my remark, but I honestly wonder: why is it that, the more conservative the man (and it’s always a man), the weirder the sex scandal?
I mean, it’s never anything boring like, I don’t know, getting a blow job from an adult intern whose gender matches your professed sexual orientation. It always involves meth, or underage Congressional pages, or airport restrooms, or multiple wetsuits. Why?

 
 

Don’t be mixing up Slovaks with Slavs. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of people who have a partially-fricative raised alveolar non-sonorant trill in their language.

Well, yeah… but see 23:24. I also don’t want to get on the wrong side of them Central European possum eaters.

 
 

It’s obviously impossible to “stutter” in writing; therefore you must believe “stuttering” is a universally-understood term of derogation.

You’re no better than Don Imus.

And, what does it say that out of over 100 comments, no one else found this gratutiously offensive?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

#

Smut Clyde said,

November 15, 2009 at 0:00

Czechoslavakian police and border forces within the Sudetenland.
Don’t be mixing up Slovaks with Slavs. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of people who have a partially-fricative raised alveolar non-sonorant trill in their language.

I know better than to try to get it through WordPress, but is that the “r” with the upside-down carat over it? The Chinese “r” is very similar. Better not fool with them, either.

(Or the Poles—they spell it “rz”.)

 
 

And, what does it say that out of over 100 comments, no one else found this gratutiously offensive?

As someone who stutters, I have to say not much.

The phrase was “stuttering outrage.” It’s a swipe at his level of agitation, not an attack on people with speech impediments.

 
 

Or do you think “impotent outrage” is a blatant attack on the users of viagra?

 
 

“How can you call him a “conservative” Muslim, when he wore the clothing, talked the talk, gave speeches about beheading infadels, had prayer rugs in his home, attended Muslim mosques, and yelled “Allah Akbar” when he started shooting….. conservative?

Ever been to Indonesia? I have. Biggest Muslim country on earth. I was there for a pop music festival, and the kids looked pretty much like “westernized” kids anywhere in the world. Here’s an example of “liberal” Muslims:

http://tinyurl.com/yehpv8c

Here’s another:

http://tinyurl.com/yc5acme

And another:

http://tinyurl.com/yapep9o

Now, here are examples of “conservative” Muslims:

http://tinyurl.com/yjwz7o7

http://tinyurl.com/ygzygyn

http://tinyurl.com/yfu47ul

Looks like Hasan was pretty “conservative” to me.

 
 

You’re no better than Don Imus.

Maybe not, but at least my name isn’t an anagram for ‘dim onus’ and ‘mud ions’.

 
 

is that the “r” with the upside-down carat over it?
Man walks down the street making sounds like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything.

 
 

Where can I find mud ions on the Periodic Table? Or rather, which element is mud an ion of?

 
 

Or do you think “impotent outrage” is a blatant attack on the users of viagra?

Trust me – I think sometimes the world could use blatant attacks on Viagra users.

Some of them are truly creepy, surpassing even the Lortab/ Percocet crowd, and the whole thing of paying $17 a pop (to coin a phrase) for an erection… well, JEEZ LOUISE!

 
 

which element is mud an ion of?

Earth, of course.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I don’t know, Smut. Let-it-all-hang-out phonology doesn’t seem to have done them any good.

 
 

Some of them are truly creepy, surpassing even the Lortab/ Percocet crowd, and the whole thing of paying $17 a pop (to coin a phrase) for an erection… well, JEEZ LOUISE!

ED is not a laughing matter!!!

[snicker]

 
 

Someone once mixed mud ions and cat ions, and from the explosion sprang HELLO KITTY.

 
 

Valkyr, I think you’re overgeneralizing. Jack Ryan’s pretty conservative, and his scandal just involved wanting everyone to see his wife “performing sex acts” (which I assume means blowing some guy or whatever, and from the way it was phrased I am not sure “some guy” meant “Jack Ryan”). Now, looked at one way, it’s “weird” to want your wife to blow some other guy, particularly in public (and of course the main point is that she clearly didn’t want to do it and he kept trying and trying and trying to get her to do it, which is extremely douchey and legitimate grounds for divorce).

But, looked at another way, every heterosexual man (and a not-inconsiderable number of homosexual men) *also* wanted to see Jeri Ryan doing that. It’s like how the first thing on the internet that was really popular was the supposed “N00D JIFZ 0F MAR1NA S1RTIS” that always turned out to be crudely photoshopped.

 
 

Joemax, in addition to the first liberal Muslim pic being NSFW [1], it’s very poorly composed. The sushi is on a plate next to the naked woman. Why?

[1] Since my job actually involves vaginas, it’s probably okay for me.

 
 

On that bowing thingie, I can remember when Robert Kennedy went to India and did the hands-together bowing thing. He raised his hands too high in acknowledging the crowd, indicating his lower status than the crowd. It was pure ignorance, but actually the Indians loved him for it.

 
 

JFK never regained the international credibility he lost after that ‘jam doughnut’ gaffe.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

You don’t want to get on the wrong side of people who have a partially-fricative raised alveolar non-sonorant trill in their language.

I know a Slovak woman at work. She has the hawtest accent I’ve ever heard, somewhere between Russian and French. Is that what the partially-fricative raised alveolar non-sonorant trill does for people?

 
 

OTHER fun psychoactives such as atropine and hyoscyamine

oh how I wish hyoscyamine was a fun psychoactive

although then I’d have to find some other anti-spasmodic

 
 

Atropine = very very not fun.
Datura was a treatment for opium addiction? Weird.

 
Seconding the Goddamn Batman's Notion
 

I have many fond memories of those Memphis strip clubs in the 90’s.
They were, indeed, the skeeziest I ever encountered.
And I say that like the good thing that it is.

 
 

“Sarah Palin’s new book is the most substantial book on policy he’s ever read”

is maybe literally true?

 
 

Very strange and odd all these Islamic terrorists who are supposed to be ultra religious seemingly visit strip clubs. These are the places they despise with fervor. It was proven the reports on the 9/11 hijackers doing so was completely unsubstantiated and this report on this killer is also false.

 
 

I’ve asked Hoft to change the name of his blog so as not to besmirch my fair city, but to no avail. Jim Hoft lies or misleads in nearly every post, and is illiterate to boot. In St. Louis he’s known as The Cowardly Lyin’.

 
Illumninati Repton
 

Wow, the Goddamn Batman lived in here Memphis. Small world.

Strip clubs and pot seem to be the main attractions to this city. I wish I could leave. Are there many reptoids in Gotham City?

 
 

I actually heard on The McLaughlin Group this weekend four of the five panelists call this “the First Terror Attack On American Soil Since 9/11”

Oh good lord, this just days after the Virginia Sniper, John Allen Muhammed was executed, nevermind the anthrax attacks, the abortion clinics being bombed and doctors killed, or even the LAX shooting in 2002.

Actually, the McLaughlin Group is taped, so it was probably on the DAY of the execution…

 
 

Check. The typical American conservative has whore dress him in diapers and spank him.

 
 

I think it’s important the media call a spade a spade and don’t dance around the fact Maj. Hasan perpetrated this act in the name of his religion. Of course, he was wrong but media that feign ignorance or even hint at post combat stress (he’s never deployed) are kidding themselves.

 
Carrie Prejean's Much Anticipated Schlick Flick Premiere
 

And anti-choice thugs perpetrate murder in the name of their religion, but we’re not allowed to bring that up because somehow that’s different.

The facts are, this crime has far more similarity to the Columbine shooting than it does to any event commonly labeled terrorism: you know – hijackings, bombings, hijacking with the intent to use the vehicle as a bomb. Shit like that.

But no. Despite him being deployed in the heart of one of the most bigoted states in the country, there’s no possibility that Hasan acted in response to being bullied by people with no tolerance for his religion. None.

You know, because he’s a Muslim and we have no tolerance for them.

 
 

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