Firstest!

Intellectual hypocrisy: it’s what’s for breakfast.

OMG, how I love your artwork. If David Brooks did art, it wouldn’t be even remotely as smart as what I’ve been seeing here in recent weeks. Mr. Brooks couldn’t make a smart chart, or haul a smart cart, or even offload a smart fart, bless his wee little not-so-smart heart.

Over the past year, the bonfire of overconfidence has shifted to Washington…

Ah-yup. Over-confidence and arrogant self-assurance and blatantly ignoring mistakes, all started on Jan 21. Before that, Washington was a hotbed of humility.

Hey, Tintin. I know what you ate for breakfast and what is in your Netflix queue and am going to post them real soon. How does that make you feel?

Every time I see Bobo’s face I think he’d look better with a little fez, a tiny tassled veour vest, and a tin cup. I swear there’s a very sad organ grinder whose monkey ran off to write for the NYTimes.

Bobo is the embodiment of Dunning-Kruger.

I dropped an ‘l’, put it anywhere you see fit.

Oh, lordy am I stupider for attempting to read that shite.

I am, however, the exception to that rule.

The salad bar at Applebee’s serves up only brain food.

ALWAYS. Trust. The. Shorter. And you must most particularly stay in the boat if it’s Bobo…

Blessedly, the signup page for The New York Times forced me to trust the shorter.

I usually do. But I thought he must have a justification for not mentioning the complete hubris of the Bush years…

I dropped an ‘l’, put it anywhere you see fit.

OK. I put it over there————————> I

Any chance of getting a Big-Eyed Indian-Child parody in time for the holidays?

http://degrazia.org/Shop.aspx?page=Prints

Mr. Brooks has embiggened us with his cromulent argument.

Always projection with these life-long hacks. Bobo, who’s paid bajillions to scribble or spout these complete banalities with absolutely no backing research, who drops little error nuggets all over the place in his easy generalizations (Applebee’s salad bar, anyone?), and who’s told endlessly by his peers that he’s such a smartypants intellectual d00d, would like the Obama administration to know that it’s not as smart as it thinks it is. Right.

It’s not just projection, either…it’s Lego-like interchangeability. Bloody Bill Kristol could have written this. Chuckles Kraphammer could have written this. Mark Halperin could have written this.

BREAKING PENIS NEWS”

http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheat-sheet/item/levi-johnstons-hiding-palin-secrets/private-parts/?cid=cs:headline5

Levi Johnston says “There are some things that I have that are huge”

Developing…..

Sometimes we seem to have a government with no sense of those limits, no sense that perhaps government officials don’t know how to restructure General Motors, pick the most promising battery technology, re-engineer the health care system from the top, or fine-tune the complex system of executive pay.

But they do know how to make countries halfway around the world fit their mold, run the sex lives of women and gays, and tell doctors what kinds of medicines to prescribe and what kinds of research to do, right?

Fucking idiot.

I could only get to the “Poor handful of billionaire executives who had their salaries questioned = affront to humanity” before I gave up.

FFS! Trust the Shorter. DO NOT CLICK THROUGH. OMFG!

David Brooks actually closes out his piece – a column that tut-tuts about Obama’s mad powergrabs – with Cheney.

And you must most particularly stay in the boat if it’s Bobo…

QFT. I am sad and sorry I did not follow this advice.

Over the past year, the bonfire of overconfidence has shifted to Washington…

Last year, having no moral fiber to sustain them, financiers threw their portraits of Dorian Gray on the bonfires of vain conceit. Mysteriously, the rich did not burn, though their portraits did – but the east wind plagued them, spreading the fire to Washington where the Bolshevik grasshoppers feasted like the ants at Waterloo.

BREAKING PENIS NEWS

do not want

Bonfires “shift”?
Do tidal waves “lap”?
Do earthquakes “creep”
Do mice “lumber”?

closes out his piece…with Cheney

Best Cheney bit ever was Will Ferrel’s description of him in his Broadway show:

In the show, the former president … reveals that he did walk in on Cheney once in the basement of the White House locked in the amorous arms of a giant goat devil in a room full of pentagrams.

“He looked at me with solid silver glowing orb-like eyes, and his breath had a strong ammonia scent to it,” Ferrell’s W. said. “And he told me in a language that I knew in my heart hadn’t been spoken in a thousand years ‘Pariff Go Lanerff!’ And I just ran.”

Now the above link is to MoDo’s review of the show, but in my defense she does admit to being wrong about something, so I thought the novelty was worth noting–possible sign of the apocalypse?

David Brooks actually closes out his piece – a column that tut-tuts about Obama’s mad powergrabs – with Cheney.

EEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Benny Summerfield said,

Professor Summerfield? Does the S. really stand for Surprise?

Over the past year, the bonfire of overconfidence has shifted to Washington…

Last year, having no moral fiber to sustain them, financiers threw their portraits of Dorian Gray on the bonfires of vain conceit. Mysteriously, the rich did not burn, though their portraits did – but the east wind plagued them, spreading the fire to Washington where the Bolshevik grasshoppers feasted like the ants at Waterloo.

I’m sure the second quote is satire. I trust the shorter and am not bothering to follow the link. I’ve read Brooks before. His writing is craptastic! Bonfires shift, salad bars appear at Appleby’s, and Brooks believes that he understands what ordinary Americans experience and/or want.

I’m struggling with why this deluded moron has a job doing anything. Let alone writing Very Serious Columns for a Very Serious Paper.

Maybe in the course of Obama’s Great Leap Forward, we can re-assign Bobo to the task of sponging out used douches so they can be recycled. At least, then, his douchebaggery would be of some use to society.

Levi Johnston says “There are some things that I have that are huge”

Developing…..

Burgeoning tumescently. Swelling. Rearing its head.

I usually do. But I thought he must have a justification for not mentioning the complete hubris of the Bush years…

IOKIYAAR

Sometimes we seem to have a government with no sense of those limits, no sense that perhaps government officials don’t know how to restructure General Motors, pick the most promising battery technology, re-engineer the health care system from the top, or fine-tune the complex system of executive pay.

I am just waiting for him to write “keep government hands off the internet”.

I should trust the shorter…

Yet, quoth Bobo: “The Democrats trust themselves to set private-sector salaries”

Really? Which private-sector salaries are being set?

I understand that people can make careless errors and stuff when writing articles, but when the entire premise of your argument is thusly fucked… it’s rather embarrassing.

OT, but…

Fuck Joe Lieberman with a hot waffle iron.

Well, since I’ve already clicked through – I might as well share.

The column is about how BIG a mistake it is to put caps on executive pay (for companies reaping massive amounts of bailout dollars – but Bobo doesn’t mention that). Got that? Bobo thinks the Obama Administration is being arrogant when it wants to limit executive compensation for comanies that SUCKED SO HARD THEY ARE ONLY AFLOAT ON GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS. That it’s the absolute height of egomania to decide that EXECUTIVES SHOULDN’T BE CARTING GIANT TARP NOVELTY CHECKS FOR NINE FIGURES TO DEPOSIT INTO PERSONAL OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS.

It is fucking dizzifyingly stoopid. It makes Irky’s column (torn to shreds in troll-a-thread downstairs) seem like genius.

Burgeoning tumescently. Swelling. Rearing its head.

Insinuating itself, nay thrusting into the conversation.

So, he’s bitching about Obama capping the salaries of guys who should be on soup lines?

Bobo probably thinks the soup kitchens in lower Manhattan have salad bars.

So apparently, the GOP, flush with the success of going after ACORN, has now targeted AARP

Good luck with that one, guys.

Bobo thinks the Obama Administration is being arrogant when it wants to limit executive compensation for comanies that SUCKED SO HARD THEY ARE ONLY AFLOAT ON GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS.

Oh noez! The salaries of a hundred (or so) individuals are being trimmed, but thankfully the free hand of the market will be able to dispinse its beneficient justice through the holy writ of bonuses. Amen.

I love the line about how hard it must be to carry all that information about different executives situations in one head. Like, I’m pretty sure that’s all delegated.

Pretty hat and sensible shoes, please

the GOP, flush with the success of going after ACORN, has now targeted AARP

Hoo boy. Aren’t the over-65s the only demographic the Redoublechins have consistent success with now?

Bright side to having clicked through is the comments.
In response to this bit of Bobo concern trollery:

In advance of the current new pay restrictions, 12 out of the 25 highest-paid executives have already left A.I.G., and 11 out of 25 have left Bank of America. We’ll never know how much future talent was dissuaded from working at these ailing firms.

Someone said feature, not a bug.

As a rule, people think that they are much smarter than they really are.

Oh shit, and here I was so sure I was smarter than Brooks. DAMMIT.

Do mice “lumber”?

Yes, but they have a hard time finding flannel shirts that are small enough.

Bobo thinks the Obama Administration is being arrogant when it wants to limit executive compensation for comanies that SUCKED SO HARD THEY ARE ONLY AFLOAT ON GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS.

And not the salaries, if I’ve understood correctly (can’t assume this is true, see 1st part of comment) but the PERFORMANCE-BASED bonuses of those at the helm of those recently foundering companies.

David Brooks has left me hanging: I need to know if Hitler was smart too.

the bonfire of overconfidence
The fuck? What?

The salad bar at Applebee’s serves up only brain food.
Paging ZRM!

Kudos on the photoshop. I’m stealin’ that one.

Brooks’ role is special among right wing hacks. He doesn’t preach to the choir like Kristol, Krauthammer, et al. He is the right’s ambassador to the left’s intellectual elite. Hence, he is stationed in enemy territory: the NYT and the NewsHour.

The demeanor in his columns and especially on the NewsHour is that of a weary, reluctant apologist for the excesses of his side. Conservatism with a human face. “Sure we have a few nutjobs that get all the attention but underneath it all conservatism is a venerable, sound political philosophy. You and I, we are both above all this partisan nonsense. Let’s look at this as grown ups. etc.” He always implies that the latest example of right wing ridiculousness is an exception to rule. There is some invisible majority of sensible, decent conservatives.

The fact is when you weed out the nuts, crooks and idiots from the American right, nothing remains but a rancid Cheeto stain.

We’ll never know how much future talent was dissuaded from working at these ailing firms.

Deep thought – Would “talented” people choose to work at an ailing firm?

Best facebook avatar ever.

Bobo thinks the Obama Administration is being arrogant when it wants to limit executive compensation for comanies that SUCKED SO HARD THEY ARE ONLY AFLOAT ON GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS.

Thanks for posting this. Reading the article, I thought something had happened that I’d missed. The butthurt experienced by these soi-disant free-marketeers when their taxpayer money–which in other circumstances they would no doubt describe as filthy lucre stolen at gunpoint from the productive classes–comes with strings attached never ceases to amaze me.

We’ll never know how much future talent was dissuaded from working at these ailing firms.

Just one more stupid statement in an article full of them. Dissuading “talent” from working at these places: also a FEATURE, not a bug. These places don’t DO anything. They just make money by moving money from one column to the other. They are so far divorced from actual economic activity (people and businesses designing, making, buying and selling stuff or people and businesses performing useful services) that every brilliant PhD they absorb might as well have been strangled in his crib for all the advancement society gets out of him. It is GOOD if such people do not waste their lives dreaming of new ways to leverage bond issues.

Deep thought – Would “talented” people choose to work at an ailing firm?

If your talent is for swindling, which among these types seems to be a particularly common skill, yes.

The argument that execs from firms that were bailed out (and thus may have their compensation downwardly adjusted) will be sopped up by non-bailout firms is specious. Except for sports teams, who would hire folks who managed to fly their business at full speed into the ground?

“I used to manage AIG’s CDO/CDS division” is translated by future employers as “I need another ship to sink.”

I tried to read that post but fell asleep.

Except for sports teams, who would hire folks who managed to fly their business at full speed into the ground?

Their colleagues. It’s a club.

Except for sports teams, who would hire folks who managed to fly their business at full speed into the ground?

Newspaper Op-Ed page editors.

Thanks for posting this…

Thanks for quoting it, again. And not fixing the typo, again. Danged comanies gettin’ all up in mah grill.

@ ZRM

I see how you are working these days! Get a young zombie stripper to lure a republican into a cemetary. And then. Lunchtime!!
*golf clap*

Deep thought – Would “talented” people choose to work at an ailing firm?

Talented people write symphonies, invent cures for cancer, and the theory of Relativity.

Fucking thieves steal money and call themselves successful. These executives are in the latter category. I doubt a single one of them has the intelligence to function outside of their rareified bubble of existence.

also,

Bobo is really an odd bird. Many times, he makes some sense and I think, “yeah, that’s not half bad.” I was stuck in Texas on election night, and the hotel didn’t have MSNBC. I was NOT going to watch Wolf Blitzer play with his gadget all night, so I watched PBS with Bobo as an analyst on the other side of Mark Shields. He was pretty much on the mark all night, I thought.

Then he goes and does the complete “I am an insane Jack Russell Terrier” thing in his columns, and I wonder if it could possibly have been written by the same person.

Truthfully, he does have a difficult job, trying to play defense for the indefensible.

Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be conservative pundits. The money’s good, but your brain cells end up dying of shame.

Joke while you can, libruls, but soon the bonfires will shift faster than you can follow them, and you’ll arrive with your beer and marshmallows and the bonfire will have left minutes ago for the next city, and it will not be on your GPS and you will feel rejected and you will have to go look for the secret Applebees which has the salad bar.

Beer and marshmallows… Ick.

Everyone knows that the only thing to have with marshmallows is a fine claret.

Or, have you ever tried this? You put the little miniature marshmallows in a small glass of champagne. They start bobbing up and down, sort of like a small lava lamp. And then you can drink it and swallow all the little marshmallows, except make sure they don’t go up your nose instead. Those things are really tough to get out, once they get all soft and soggy, and they start to expand a little.

This is off-topic, isn’t it?

This is off-topic, isn’t it?

Yeah, but it was worth it.

I was NOT going to watch Wolf Blitzer play with his gadget all night

Veiled penis reference.

I was NOT going to watch Wolf Blitzer play with his gadget all night

Veiled penis reference.

Veiled?

Veined.

Just call it a lyrical allusion.

And Penis.

Truthfully, he does have a difficult job, trying to play defense for the indefensible.

This reminds me of a Bob Newhart gag, where he tells a patient who always gets a pain when he thinks about a particular thing:

“Stop it!”

burgeoning.

You know when people talk about the politics of self-hatred in relation to politics, it’s unfortunate we only do so in terms of identity politics because if you think about it, it can also apply to David Brooks. He’s a sensitive upper-middle class white person who hates sensitive upper-middle class white people.

Those things are really tough to get out, once they get all soft and soggy, and they start to expand a little.
What were we talking about?

You know when people talk about the politics of self-hatred in relation to politics…

…you are almost required by law to mention Michelle Malkin.

Joke while you can, libruls, but soon the bonfires will shift faster than you can follow them, and you’ll arrive with your beer and marshmallows and the bonfire will have left minutes ago for the next city, and it will not be on your GPS and you will feel rejected and you will have to go look for the secret Applebees which has the salad bar.

Is there a marshmallow alternative for the vegetarian libruls? Also: non-GPS-trackable bonfire shifting is theft.

Oh, maybe the alternative for us is “extra beer”. Carry on.

He’s a sensitive upper-middle class white person who hates sensitive upper-middle class white people.

If he weren’t a tool of the righties, he’d be writing for a small, local lifestyle rag (something with a title like Ann Arundel Advocate) and need a second job to make his Volvo payments. I imagine he is susceptible to chronic indigestion and occasional migraines because of all the cognitive dissonance, but the money’s too good for him to quit.

Is there a marshmallow alternative for the vegetarian libruls?

Marshmallows made with marsh mallows?

Oh, maybe the alternative for us is “extra beer”. Carry on.

A much better alternative!

Turnips?

What’s really sad is that Brooks really thinks himself as carrying on de Toqueville’s legacy. What’s really sadder is that he really would prefer we imagine him like this.

What’s really sad is that Brooks really thinks himself as carrying on de Toqueville’s legacy.

Well, then, maybe he should leave his goddamn house, and actually research the things he writes about.

“Mr. Brooks has embiggened us with his cromulent argument.”

EnWiggumed us with his somnolent argument?

Marshmallows made with marsh mallows?

Haven’t seen them at the Stop and Shop.

Turnips?

Run away, little bonfire!

Wait, marshmallows are meat?

Yeah, what’s non-veg about ‘mallows?

Marshmallows are murder!

Well, then, maybe he should leave his goddamn house, and actually research the things he writes about.

What an accusation! Of course he leaves his house. Why, he even had a story for David Gregory on MTP the other day. It began, “So I was at the salad bar at Applebee’s…”

Is there a marshmallow alternative for the vegetarian libruls?

Kosher marshmallows might be okay, if the gelatin is described as seaweed-derived (if it’s from fish or kosher animals, though…).

Does anyone make marshmallows from actual mallow root, I wonder?

Yeah, what’s non-veg about ‘mallows?

The gelatin– the commonest way to make gelatin is to boil down animal hooves.

Made with gelatin. I think you can buy veggie ones made with guar gum and suchlike, but they’re hard to find.

All the kosher ones I’ve seen locally have been fish.

I could really go for some smores right now

God. Brooks’ sheer craptastic douchebaggery never ceases to amaze me. How well he avoids arguments that destroy his entire premise by softly just not mentioning entire areas of subject matters.

The fact that this is a cap specifically and ONLY aimed at companies which failed, and needed to be bailed to save the entire world’s economy? Not mentioned.

The fact that this is overwhelmingly supported by the public? Not mentioned – thus implied that this is solely an Obama administration hubristic abberation.

The fact that this is intended to keep stupidity from being rewarded at taxpayer expense? You better believe it’s not mentioned.

Oh, and the Bush administration did not exist, except at the end, and only as a future threat to a Big Brother takeover that could occur from the Obama administration’s attempt.

Woo.

@ another jim

Great points, all.
Shorter Brooks: “If uppity voters think that they can limit how many tax dollars are spent on executive bonuses, the oligarchy has other options ifyouknowhatimeanandithinkyoudo.”

Vegetarian who was involved in making marshmallows very recently here.

OK, so gelatin is never veggie. It’s an animal protein. Kosher gelatin is usually fish-derived. There was a huge scandal a few years back over a ‘vegetarian’ kosher gelatin substitute which turned out to be, uh, mostly gelatin. And thus not vegetarian, and thus fraudulent. There’s no existing vegetarian or vegan protein which matches the unique qualities of gelatin.

However, veggie marshmallows do exist. There’s a very small commercial market for them with just a couple of vendors. The product is quite expensive but tastes, feels, and roasts pretty much like any gourmet marshmallow. (The gourmet aspect is important to remember, though. They’re usually bigger, chewier, and covered in more powder than your grocery store mallows.)

The commercial vegan mallows are formulated pretty similarly to the most complex and effective homemade recipe, which has weird shit like locust bean gum, guar gum, soy protein isolate, and agar in it. On the other hand, we were able to make acceptable roasting mallows with just agar — the important element is whipping the holy living crap out of it with a mixer. (The entire marshmallow thang is basically like meringue — a froth which solidifies before it flattens. Meringue by the hardening sugar, and marshmallows by the stiffening gel protein.)

The agar mallows did tend to deform and squash together easily in a bag, and it’s a huge mess to make them. But they’re pretty much as easy (that is, a pain in the ass) and good as gelatin mallows.

All that said, my understanding is that actual marsh mallow isn’t an effective enough thickener to make what we’d recognize as a marshmallow. I suppose the original marshmallow was some sort of chewy, taffy-like confection.

Sadly, No has ruined my Thanksgiving by revealing the meaty background of the Marshmallow. Now my favorite sweet potatoes cannot be consumed, and I am forced to survive the holiday on green beans and crescent rolls.

Thanks guys.

I am forced to survive the holiday on green beans and crescent rolls.

As long as the green beans are baked in a nice cream soup casserole and topped with fried onions, the Thanksgiving gods will be appeased.

Marshmallows in sweet potatoes are an affront to the laws of nature anyway, so really you should be happy, Tommmcatt.

What an accusation! Of course he leaves his house. Why, he even had a story for David Gregory on MTP the other day. It began, “So I was at the salad bar at Applebee’s…”

But… but… David Brooks said he had eaten at Red Lobster too!!!

As I made my journey, it became increasingly hard to believe that Brooks ever left his home.

“On my journeys to Franklin County, I set a goal: I was going to spend $20 on a restaurant meal. But although I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu — steak au jus, ‘slippery beef pot pie,’ or whatever — I always failed. I began asking people to direct me to the most-expensive places in town. They would send me to Red Lobster or Applebee’s,” he wrote. “I’d scan the menu and realize that I’d been beaten once again. I went through great vats of chipped beef and ‘seafood delight’ trying to drop $20. I waded through enough surf-and-turfs and enough creamed corn to last a lifetime. I could not do it.”

Taking Brooks’s cue, I lunched at the Chambersburg Red Lobster and quickly realized that he could not have waded through much surf-and-turf at all. The “Steak and Lobster” combination with grilled center-cut New York strip is the most expensive thing on the menu. It costs $28.75. “Most of our checks are over $20,” said Becka, my waitress. “There are a lot of ways to spend over $20.”

but… but…

Brooks, however, does more than popularize inaccessible academic work; he distorts it. Barone relies on election returns and public-opinion data as the basis for his research; Frey looks to the census. But Brooks takes their findings and, regardless of origin, applies to them what one might call the Brooks Consumer Taste Fallacy, which suggests that people are best understood by where they shop and what they buy. So Brooks takes Barone’s vote-counting in a two-sided election and says the country is split between Anthropologie and Dollar General. Then he takes Frey’s demographic studies and says Sprinkler Cities are marked by their Home Depots.

Brooks pretends to be some deToquevillian observer and analyst, and in reality is just a conservative Establishment worshiping asshole.

Oh, and don’t forget that some canned cream soups (cream of mushroom, etc.) have either gelatin or various kinds of meat extracts or broth in them. *twists mustache and cackles*

One of the basic rules of capitalism is that if you pay the piper, you call the tune. Obama bought those companies, so he can make those fucking CEOs dress up like organ grinders monkeys, and make them dance a little jig if he wants to.

Marshmallow, it’s the other Red Meat.

OH NO NOT CRESCENT ROLLS!!! Seriously, though, maybe Djur would share his recipe? Or use a streusel topping?

On the other hand, we were able to make acceptable roasting mallows with just agar —

Maybe pectin would be an acceptible substitute.

Now my favorite sweet potatoes cannot be consumed

Just roast them and mash them up, butter is optional.

slippery beef pot pie

So that’s what the kids are calling it these days!

OH NO NOT CRESCENT ROLLS!!!

Crescent rolls are the Parker House rolls of Islamofascism.

Now, to the important part- mass marketing meatless marshmallows means mucho moolah. Time to get the eggheads in R&D on it.

Does it really matter whether or not the gelatin is made from animals. It appears it’s primarily made from what would otherwise be thrown away,so it’s not like it’s really increasing demand for any animal.

Marshmallows in sweet potatoes are an affront to the laws of nature anyway, so really you should be happy, Tommmcatt.

I totally agree.

What you need are some roasted brussels sprouts.

What you need are some roasted brussels sprouts.

wrapped in vegan bacon

Roasted Brussels sprouts with marshmallows.

*ducks thrown shoe*

Well, this is unusual. I tuned into the online stream for the Voice of America’s NewsNow, and it was Eminem’s “I’m sorry Mama” with all the curse words bleeped out.

David Brooks needs to write about how this represents a grand theme of American decline and the loss of focus that our new liberal regime has inspired.

Clearly, there are Thanksgiving heretics on this site. All Thanksgiving sweet potatoes are to actually be mashed yams, mixed with butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar, then topped with browned marshmallows. Any deviation from this recipe (I’m looking at you, Djur), and you will be burned as a witch. Forewarned is forearmed.

That is all.

Cheese mallows, for the mucilaginous marshmallow effect:
http://www.wildflowers-and-weeds.com/Plant_Families/Malvaceae.htm
thick enough?

What I need to know and will probably never know, is why does the New York Times feel compelled to run his garbage?

But then I think, is there any writer on the right side worth reading, that makes any bit of sense?

Can anyone make any sense defending the elite’s robbery of the common people? Can anyone make sense defending the concept that corporate interests trump humanity?

But then I think, why doesn’t Bobo just fall into the giant hole of Fox News and be done with it?

Why did NPR feel compelled today, again for the umpteenth time, to give hour after hour of free massages, manicures and adoration for right wing “thinkers” pontifications while completing ignoring anything on the left?

Why?

Why does the NewsHour continue to torture poor old Mark Sheilds by trotting him out to have listen to Brooks go on and on and only get a chance to correct the most ridiculous assertions he makes whilst Jimmie looks on with apparent amusement?

Why?

Let’s Super Derailment Action!!

maybe Djur would share his recipe

BBBB gave my recipe already. If you must sugar up god’s most delicious tuber, maybe doing something with marshmallow creme (which is vegetarian) would work. Or a meringue.

Maybe pectin would be an acceptible substitute

Pectin doesn’t gel up as much as agar, and I think agar is a bare minimum. It’s not particularly hard to find agar, anyway, if you have an Asian market or supermarket with an acceptable Asian food section around. Often sold as ‘sea vegetable’ or something similarly vague.

Does it really matter whether or not the gelatin is made from animals

If you intend to avoid ingesting animal products, yes. I agree that gelatin is an obvious gray area for many forms of semivegetarianism, but as it’s defined, vegetarianism involves not eating any product derived from a killed animal. (My favorite grey area: caviar or roe. It’s eggs, but the fish is killed.)

As a theoretical semivegetarian myself (don’t get me started) I could probably argue myself into eating gelatin. And I don’t really worry about whether it’s hiding in the ingredients list of seemingly innocuous food. But I wouldn’t eat it intentionally. (I don’t even like marshmallows very much, nor gelatin dessert, so it’s not really a big deal.)

What you need are some roasted brussels sprouts.

Noooooooooooooooooo

(roast that shit up with a bit of soy sauce and some almonds, I’m telling you)

I tuned into the online stream for the Voice of America’s NewsNow, and it was Eminem’s “I’m sorry Mama” with all the curse words bleeped out.

Actually, that was Michelle Bachmann speaking in tongues.

yams… butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar

Four of the finest food type products that man has ever ingested. I’m with you.

topped with browned marshmallows

Then this shit. Next you’ll be putting mayonnaise in your fruit salad.

BBBB gave my recipe already.

I meant the marshmallow one. I’ve seen the open source recipe that requires genutine but don’t want to special order if I don’t have to.

Let’s Super Derailment Action!!

Hey, all I’m saying is the Sadly pilots have flown this post WAY past Minneapolis.

Hang on! Did someone say “turnip?”

Vegetarian who was involved in making marshmallows very recently here.

Very impressive! Thanks for that.

This kind of thing, though, is part of why I’ve never made a serious effort to be really really vegan – it’s just too damn hard to avoid 100% of animal products; although in the marshmallows’ case I’ll handle it by just avoiding marshmallows. I don’t like them enough to eat hooves, fer chrissake.

The other part of veganism that is offputting is the obligatory self-righteousness. I’d rather call myself “strict vegetarian” and sidestep all that.

Mince pie. The worst Thanksgiving food ever. Take the driest substance known to mankind but yet still somewhat edible, and wrap a crust around it.

That’s a great idea….

Then this shit. Next you’ll be putting mayonnaise in your fruit salad.

This is a discussion you need to have with my 88-year-old Grandmother, who has been making this delicious confection every year for 68 years or so.

Well, her and the inquisition.

And I don’t really worry about whether it’s hiding in the ingredients list of seemingly innocuous food. But I wouldn’t eat it intentionally.

This. I should have read a bit further.

Mincemeat dry? the hell? It has a lot of sugary gooey stuff in it, and you can always slop some more brandy in it if you want.

By which I mean, of course, that you’ll need to discuss it with the inquisition as well as my grandmother, not that my grandmother makes sweet potatoes with ….
**SIGH** Never mind.

O/T

But I’m damn proud of my president today. This is a good fucking day for the good guys!

not that my grandmother makes sweet potatoes with ….

…a fanatical devotion to the Pope?

And a comfy chair?

Time to get the eggheads in R&D on it.
I am not enthusiastic about the use of egghead brains as a thickener either.

yams… butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar
Needs more chilli.

Oh, the marshmallows. I was distracted by the reference to streusel.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/veganfeast/3075622179/

This is the recipe. I suspect that if you don’t care about the vegan aspect, some experimentation with adding beaten egg whites would result in fluffier mallows.

Beating the fuck out of it in a mixer is KEY. Also key is the pan size — trying to make it thinner will result in sticky glop. These are thick fuckers. You can cube them up smaller after they’re good and set.

The recipe is irritatingly vague about the candy step, saying ‘strand or ball’. That range is excessive. Ball stage is key. Firm candy = firmer mallow = fluffier mallow.

And the agar-agar can be flakes. That’s likely to be how you’ll find it.

They’re delicious to eat plain, and they toasted well for me. I imagine they’d, sigh, work well on top of candied yams.

Mince pie. The worst Thanksgiving food ever. I’m the only one in my family that likes it.

Add a chopped apple, and you’re good to go.

Sweet potatoes cut up in chunks, dusted with a little chile and lime juice and butter, roasted in a hot oven. To hell with marshmallows.

Does it really matter whether or not the gelatin is made from animals. It appears it’s primarily made from what would otherwise be thrown away,so it’s not like it’s really increasing demand for any animal.

True, and vegetarians can also eat chitlins and gizzards without guilt (would make a nice dressing for the tofurkey, what do ya think?)

This is a discussion you need to have with my 88-year-old Grandmother

And my own, mind you. Firmly Casserole Belt stock here. Candied yams with marshmallows. Jello (but not as much as in Utah). Green bean casserole with french fried onions and lots of gloppy cream of mushroom soup. ‘Oriental salad’ with ramen noodle bits and cabbage. THIS IS WHAT REAL AMERICANS EAT.

I’ve been thinking about making snooty green bean casserole with wild mushrooms, fried shallots, bechamel sauce, and haricots vert. And I’m sure it’d be pretty damn delicious. But I’ll admit that I’d probably also make a batch with Campbell’s condensed soup and fried onions out of a can. And frozen green beans, natch.

THIS IS WHAT REAL AMERICANS EAT…..

I’ve got four words for you:

Nilla Wafer Banana Pudding

No REAL AMERICAN home is without one for the holidays. Though I have to admit that the Sweet Potatoes with lime and chili sounded pretty good.

Djur, thanks for the link, that recipe looks well worth playing with.

for some reason, our family would put out these nasty pitted black olives every xmas (in a fancy tray!)and we would affix one to each finger and subsequently eat them off. mind you, we all hated olives but this was still a required activity.

it took me 20 years to come around to the idea that there might actually be *good* olives out there. i’m better now.

My desperation-fueled hobby of cooking wheat-free, soy-free, and sugar-free has resulted in my knowing not only how to spell “xanthan gum”, but also what it does. (Don’t like guar gum so much–it’s… um… digested up a bit farther, where it can do some mischief, if you get what I’m saying.) I make wheat-free yeast-risen bread with gelatin when I’m feeling cheap and vegetable glycerine when I have a couple extra pennies in the savings account. Glycerine might be an acceptable alternative for the marshing of mallows.

I know we made a set of sugar-free marshmallows once, but we both decided that our lives were not so marked by culinary deprivation that we had to do so again.

[Reflectively.] The sugar-free sour gummy worms were fun, though.

kg, eating can-flavored black olives off your fingers is part of the vital tradition that makes this country great. And I recognize the fancy tray. Luckily, said tray also inevitably featured pickled beets and pickled asparagus, which made up for the black balls of tinny mush.

and who can forget the bowls of mixed (unshelled) nuts! when else do you get a chance to eat a freaking brazil nut? also, filberts!

I admit a predilection for canned, pitted black olives. I just loves ’em. Yes, I know there are olives that are supposedly much better. But I love the cheapo ones.

See, we never had mixed nuts, only pistacios. Luckily, not the red kind. But then, we are Methodists and suspicious of anything too colorful or pleasurable. Explains why we drink alcohol out of coffee cups, I guess.

Is there any real point to the red dye, besides giving everyone a chance to point at you and laugh?

we would affix one to each finger and subsequently eat them off.

We did this too. Sounds like it is a pretty solid American cultural mainstay.

There’s a very, very slight difference between the best pumpkin pie I’ve ever had and the worst pumpkin pie I’ve ever had.

Hey libs, I once ran into Gibby Haynes in a Lamaze class, so SUCK IT!@

You sucked Gibby Haynes?

The difference between a good pumpkin pie and a bad one is a tablespoon of sorghum syrup.

after, yes.

who can forget the bowls of mixed (unshelled) nuts!

That was a paternal tradition that started about the beginning of November and ran through to January 1. My Dad would get bags of nuts and shell them, and then work up combinations of butter and spices and toast pans of nuts in the oven.

My Dad would get bags of nuts and shell them, and then work up combinations of butter and spices and toast pans of nuts in the oven.

Yum! We got the unshelled kind and had to work the nutcracker, and that got tiresome. I looooove Brazil nuts, but they’re a lot of work (for a kid, anyway) to crack and for some reason about one out of every dozen tastes like kerosene.

g, that sounds delish.

we were more in XG’s territory, laboriously cracking various types of nuts, inevitably pinching fingers and (in the end) rummaging through the failures with the poky thing in order to extract the trapped little remnants.
wtf is so great about the holidays anyhow?

oh yeah, sweet potatoes with marshmallows!

Don’t get ahead of yourselves: What about Hallowe’en, & Candy Corn?

What about Hallowe’en, & Candy Corn?

Both childhood favorites of mine. I’d get gobs of candy corn from various sources and end up dropping bits of it all over the place so that I’d be finding old dry ones all through the winter. Yummy!

Candy corn, oh man. Somehow waxy and grainy, nasty and wonderful all at the same time.

Avoid the poisoned ones, if you can.

Speaking of nuts…Sunnyland Farms. I can vouch for both their Shley pecans and their pistachios. Next up, I’m going to order some pecan meal…bet it would be good on oven-fried chicken and in brown rice.

Actually, why don’t we all talk about the nastiest food we like to eat? Everyone has a nasty food favorite – for some folks it’s corndogs, for others it’s chic-o-stix. My personal favorite nasty food is chocolate cake Duncan Donuts. I’ll cop to eating them, but only once per year.

My naughty food is Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls.

I have a completely demented (but wildly popular with my family) Asian fusion Thanksgiving (though given the stress of house-hunting this year I might not cook it):

Kung pao turkey with pumpkin seeds
Stir-fried green beans with bell pepper
Mashed sweet potatoes with honey, ginger and cardamom
Black “forbidden” rice
Sesame steamed carrots

It’s really good.

Can’t think of the nastiest food I like to eat offhand– I probably eat many that you would consider awful.

Mince pie. The worst Thanksgiving food ever. I’m the only one in my family that likes it.

I liked mince pie! But my mom passed away a few years ago, so it is no longer a feature at family dinners.

(And yes she made it just for me *sniff*.)
~

Nasty food: those orange “circus” peanuts. I won’t eat one, but I know people who do.

I really really like red licorice. it’s really nasty, but I love it.

Anything sweet, sugary, processed & manufactured by a major corporate entity. Yum.

Those Swiss Cake Rolls are good. Little Debbie pretty much roolz!!

You know those puffy pink round candies called “wintergreen lozenges”? About the size of a nickel, only 1/3 inch thick? As a kid I used to secretly buy a whole package of them – they were made by Brachs – and hide them in my underwear drawer, and eat them in my room with the door closed. They’d dissolve in my mouth, and the mintiness in them would finally make my tongue sore.

Can’t stand wintergreen today.

Black “forbidden” rice

Is that related to the black ‘sticky rice’ that in its uncooked form repels hopping vampires?

‘S a bloody good deal, when you think about it: a yummy dessert that defends against the undead. Cheap at twice the price!

I will admit to still (on occassion) enjoying Banquet Chicken Pot Pies, quite possibly the funkiest frozen food you can burn your tounge on.

I’m also an excellent speller.

Obama bought those companies, so he can make those fucking CEOs dress up like organ grinders monkeys, and make them dance a little jig if he wants to.

See, THIS is what Obama was elected to do.

I hope the delay is just waiting for all the uniforms.

Is [forbidden rice] related to the black ’sticky rice’ that in its uncooked form repels hopping vampires?

I have no idea– supposedly it got its name from being rice that only the Emperor of China had the privilege to eat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_rice

It’s short-grain, fairly sticky, high in iron, and rather nutty-tasting. Delicious! But also pretty darn expensive compared to regular brown or white rice.

Kung pao turkey? Interesting.

Kung pao turkey? Interesting.

Yeah, it’s a hot and spicy (well, relatively spicy– I tone it down a bit for family members who can’t take lots of heat) stir-fry. I found the recipe in a fusion cookbook I’d bought some years back for its excellent hot-and-sour chicken noodle soup, and it turns out to make an excellent Thanksgiving dish because it’s very satisfying yet does not make eaters lapse into a post-dinner coma (important when you have relatives who drove four or five hundred miles on Thanksgiving Day to see you– and not enough room in an apartment for everyone to take comfy naps).

Every single one of these idiots should be required to have captions like “Married to an heiress, so he’s got a vested interest in spouting this nonsense” or “On wingnut welfare and has never earned an honest dollar in her life” under their pictures so all will know to shun them like the scumbag plague they are.

Could someone please tell me what’s with Brooks and the “salad bar at Applebee’s” thing? I’ve only been snickering at his columns for a few years now and I guess I missed this. Thanks!

deering: Brooks questioned Obama’s down-home Heartland style by saying that he’d look out of place at the Applebee’s salad bar. Applebee’s does not have salad bars.

Everyone has a nasty food favorite

Quarter Pounders. I eat about two a year, now.

They’re not as much fun now as when they were served in a styrofoam clamshell, though. That was As God Intended.

Well, then, maybe he should leave his goddamn house, and actually research the things he writes about.

What’s that got to do with anything? DeTocquevillle had to leave the house because he was in France and had to go to America.

Brooks is already IN America.

Duh!

What was John Wayne’s sidekick doing in a lamaze class?

The art-work is all very well, but it is now incumbent upon Tintin to animate it, with mouthparts opening & closing.

*snort* Thanks, Djur!