Alas, freedom of the press belongs to those who own presses. And once it became possible to become insanely wealthy by selling stupid, sensationalistic crap to credulous cretins…that was the death knell of the free press.

wouldn’t it be sweet if one day none of the reporters showed up for the briefing?

I bet Scottie wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with the words “Go ahead, Jeff” ringing in his ears.

makes me wonder why any news organizations would spend precious resources covering the daily White House press gaggleI used to wonder about that, then I forgot to wonder anymore when the daily deconstructions and commentaries of the press briefings started getting so funny. Back about 5-8 (it wasn’t a Clinton/Bush difference) years ago was when I first heard people talking about how the White House press corps was nothing but a bunch of stenographers and how journalists had to play nice and not ruffle feathers in order to have continued access. I wondered why anyone wanted access to a meaningless exercise, but that’s the way the game is played. Now the parsing of the nothingness that occurs daily in the press room has developed into an art form and a whole lot of fun. DKos, for example, had a funny diary up yesterday that translated Scottie’s BS answers over the years.What would happen if they had a press secretary who actually discussed facts and informed the press of things deeper than the daily talking points, veiled hints, and happy talk about that day’s state visits? It won’t happen with this administration, certainly, but maybe someday. I’ll bet you President Feingold will have a straight-talking press secretary.

I’ll take that bet.

The structural weaknesses that have crept into American governance will not be overcome in one election, unless you can somehow manage to get Jesus H. Christ elected.

I don’t think a commitment to obfuscation is something that will be hard to discard if the right person is leading the government. I’m not saying everything will be better, but this one is easier to fix than, say, changing the way legislation gets through Congress or something.

I hope someone’s keeping a list of the structural weaknesses that need to be corrected.

Canada’s own Bushlet Stephen Harper has been playing a little game with the Parliamentary Press Gallery in the last few weeks. He’s unilaterally decreed that he will call on specific reporters, ending the tradition of the Gallery itself deciding which questions will be asked (which it has maintained precisely to prevent the PM from refusing to call on reporters who’ve given him bad press). The Gallery is having none of it, and has been in open rebellion, lining up for questions and demanding the PM answer them on a first-come, first-served basis. Harpie had a hissy fit the other day and stalked off after giving in, but then only answering two questions.

Well, y’know, Jesus was doing pretty strong in the straw polls for ’08. He was polling well on domestic issues and name recognition, and did quite well in the focus groups. A lot of his handlers and flacks were saying there was plenty of time for him to overcome his weaknesses in Defense, Security and Foreign Policy.

But then the RNC launched a mail campaign saying he has blood on his hands. And the photographic evidence was pretty strong. Shortly thereafter, some previously unknown 527 called Roman Navy Veterans for the Truth produced some contraversial evidence that this entire “resurection” thing was faked to increase his fame. They even named names.

In the meantime, bloggers discovered documents that seemed to indicate that in spite of Jesus’ repeated claims to being a carpenter, he had never hammered a single nail in his entire career. Some other bloggers immediately discovered that the documents were actually produced on a type of Papyrus that was not in general use until 430AD, discrediting not only the first bloggers but a major news organization.

So where is the Jesus camapaign today? Oh, he’s still in the public eye, traveling and making speeches about “Peace” and “Love thy Neighbor” and, well, pre 9/11 crap like that. He claims he’ll still seek the nomination, but frankly people, isn’t ELECTABILITY important in this election?

mikey

See, but that’s the difference between Canada and America, Mal de mer.

The Canadian reporters have informed the Prime Cobagger that he can eat it. The American reporters ever so politely inform the White House that lubricant is optional – they’ll bend over and take it either way.

I hope you’re right, Lucy. I just don’t think it’s going to be so easy to fix. It’s been so long since Americans have heard “news” or “reporting” done by “reporters” that I fear they’re going to find the product too unpalatable to their alternately-acclimated tastes.

I suppose we’ll see soon enough.

The Canadian reporters have informed the Prime Cobagger that he can eat it.

Well, we’re just lucky we’ve got an inferior form of government, where the head of the executive and the cabinet are elected representatives, and where the opposition can turf a minority government if it forgets its place.

God Save the effin’ Queen!

Oh, I see your point, all right Jillian; but I’m just talking about the White House Press Secretary/press corps dynamic. Taking care of the way news in general gets reported … you’re right, no way that gets fixed anytime soon. The damage is too deep and the habits are too ingrained. Reporters would have no idea what to do with themselves if their papers and networks suddenly wanted to report what was going on in the world. What will we do for news if celebrity births and “One Tree Hill” cast-member engagement scoops stop being reported? It’s not like we the people are going to wake up and start clamoring for facts’n’sh-t.

p.s.–let alone stories about policy.

Also P.S. Well done, Mikey!

I think this situation has a lot to do with reporters angling to become overpaid, overhyped celebrity journalists. The revocation of White House access would cast a pall over their individual desires to co-host 60 Minutes someday.

Canadian reporters have no such illusions; even the highest paid news hounds in Canada make but a fraction of what their US counterparts pull in. I could call Ann Madina at home right now – and in fact I’ve done it before – to ask her for a sound-byte. Her number is in the phone book. I could call up, and speak with, the highest paid morning show radio guys in Canada today. They’re accessible. I don’t need to go through six degrees of bullshit to schedule a meeting with one of them.

Could I do that with any celebrity journalist in the US? It would take me six months to get past Barnara Walters’ assistant’s assistant. I doubt I’d make it through a pat-down by Hannity’s goon squad.

The point: The rarified world of celebrity appeals to some of these people far more than reporting the news. That means you’re not likely to get the truth from any of them.

Speaking of Jeff Gannon…..

Since when is he out?

I’m confused. I’m so very, very confused. I’m going to go lie down now, and I don’t know when I might be getting up again.

Speaking of Jeff Gannon….since when is he out?

If the White House Press Corps was so cowed…

how come the White House hasn’t pulled the press pass of Helen Thomas (who isn’t a journalist anymore) or David Gregory?

The left has no problem with partisan hacks like Helen Thomas, but they don’t want a single conservative to get a press pass (remember what happened to Jeff Gannon)

We know what happened to Jeff Gannon….he finally came out.

err, that should be

“he finally came out.

Yeah, it’s a shame that Jeff Gannon isn’t working to turn from his homosexual tendancies.

But, the only reason why he was targetted was for asking a question which didn’t bash Bush enough.

Oh, Gary…even the exceptional powers you have to invert reality and deflect every objective fact can’t do anything with Jeff Gannon.

Rrrrriiiight, Gary, the Jeff Gannon story was all about his being a “conservative.” Nothing to do with the fact that he got his press pass under suspicious circumstances, representing a basically fictitious in-name-only news organization, and drew attention to himself by posing obvious softball, propaganda-type questions to divert the line of questioning into something more friendly to the president. It was only after he turned out to be a male prostitute that the general public started paying attention; the real story was, “What is this obvious nonjournalist doing in the White House press corps, using the press gaggle to make the administration look good? And why is this unqualified person being called on so frequently when Scottie gets hot under the collar?” Asking tough questions as Helen Thomas does (and I’ll grant you that she’s partisan) is what makes a journalist. Existing for the sole purpose of kissing the butt of the president and his press secretary, not so much.

..although 1200.00$ and a free weekend will let you do anything with Jeff Gannon.

Come on everyone, pony up…we’ll get Gary shagged and throw some Christian charity Jeffy’s way.

No, I mean Jeff Gannon is seriously out now. He’s got a column over at the Washington Blade now.

http://washblade.com/2006/4-12/view/columns/gannon.cfm

This thing’s been eating my html all afternoon, so you’ll just have to c/p it.

His writing sucks as badly as it ever did….but when did this happen? Seriously – after all the hateful, homophobic things he used to write back in his days with the uber-prestigious Talon News*, why would the Blade take him on?

*really just a hacktackular website operated out of some guy’s basement.

Let me go back for a second: What I meant by “Helen Thomas is partisan” is that she has a point of view, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s to be admired in any journalist, as long as that journalist is honest. How could you not have a point of view if you’re using your brain? I do not think that she misuses her role in any way. Just to be clear.

Look. It’s important that you know this:

The Fact Is, Gary is not a real person. He’s a piece of software the techies like to call a ‘bot. It used to be hard to code a bot, so they were kind of rare. You had to use a real language like C or C++. Now, first with Java, and later to Python and PHP, just about anybody can download a bot template and modify it to their spec.

The way it works is every day the GaryBot gets his talking points entered into the MySQl back end (sorry, that was NOT actually a reference to Jeff Gannon) and the GaryBot is released to troll the Interwebs automatically, looking for lefty blogs that have current posts containing specific keywords. When the GaryBot finds these posts, it creates a comment post with the Official Administration Positions (TM). It then monitors that thread in order to respond to the responses.

The goal here is not to convince you and I to suddenly accept this insane, twisted version of reality, the goal is to continue the “echo chamber” effect that starts in Right Blogistan and contiues thru the radio and then on to Faux News.

It’s simple, cheap and effective. But please, do remember that when taking issue with the GaryBot’s insanity, there really is no one on the other end listening…

mikey

What I meant by “Helen Thomas is partisan” is that she has a point of view, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s to be admired in any journalist, as long as that journalist is honest. How could you not have a point of view if you’re using your brain?

Darn tootin’, Lucy, and it’s always nice to see people say it.

The sooner we get journalists to move away from this “A Round Earth? Sources Differ” pseudo-school of journalism, the better off we’ll all be.

“A Round Earth? Sources Differ” pseudo-school of journalism

That’s totally tubular!

As Rip Taylor used to sing, “You win the crooooown”…

mikey, how do you feel about Gary is not a real person?

Existing for the sole purpose of kissing the butt of the president and his press secretary, not so much.

One wonders if that was ALL Gannon was kissing over at the White House…

It was only after he turned out to be a male prostitute that the general public started paying attention; the real story was, “What is this obvious nonjournalist doing in the White House press corps, using the press gaggle to make the administration look good? And why is this unqualified person being called on so frequently when Scottie gets hot under the collar?”

Not to mention the fact that despite Gannon’s failure to be cleared by the Secret Service, somebody in the White House kept circumventing security rules and giving him day passes. And he received a number of such passes on days when there was no gaggle, for example, when the Shrub was out of town. What was Gannon doing on those days?

Or should the question be who?

Where’d Gary go?

Oooh, whoever that was, nice Eliza riff. Very subtle.

Ha! I fed Gary’s last statement into Eliza:

Gary: The left has no problem with partisan hacks like Helen Thomas, but they don’t want a single conservative to get a press pass (remember what happened to Jeff Gannon)

Eliza: You are being a bit negative.

…Amen, Eliza..amen.

Jeff Gannon is like felafel and ducks’ webbed feet: intrinsically funny. One need only mention Jeff Gannon’s name and people smile. He’s brought a lot of laughter into this world, and that’s a beautiful thing.

he brought eight uncut inches of laughter into the world, and THAT is a beautiful thing.

he brought eight uncut inches of laughter into the world, and THAT is a beautiful thing

Tutt-tutt Jillian, you went and looked at the uncensored versions, didn’t you?

I see it as proof that the universe gives everyone and everything at least one redeeming feature. Storm clouds have silver linings, cockroaches can survive nuclear fallout, annieangel has nice legs, and Gannon’s got a big willy. QED.

Where’d Gary go?

He’s finishing up his column for The Blade.

Gary? Gannon? He’s not even trying with the fake names anymore…

Tutt-tutt Jillian, you went and looked at the uncensored versions, didn’t you?

Hey, I’m as human as the next person…as long as the next person isn’t Donald Luskin.

I don’t get it…people PAID to have sex with Jeff Gannon? Paid MONEY?

This shatters the stereotype of gay men having discerning taste forever.

It’s worse than that, Jillian. I’m Pissed!! I’m almost as old as dirt and no one, not a soul, not a household pet or barnyard animal, not an insect or virus or vegetable or mineral, has ever PAID to have sex with me. One way or another, either through direct subsidy, alimony, dinner date or a couple of lines, one way or another it is I who actully paid.

And I look at Gannon and I’m thinking, this cat is seven miles of bad road with good billboards. I mean come on, if he can get laid AND make a few bucks I’m clearly doing something wrong. Dammit.

mikey

This shatters the stereotype of gay men having discerning taste forever.

But you forget, Jillian; these were self-loathing Rethuglican closet-cases. They primarily wanted someone who would treat ’em rough and verbally abuse them. Done, and done!

Oh, and r/e JeffyLube, as I recall, that sure looked like an “AOL eight inches,” as they say in certain unsavory corners of the interwebs.

I was thinking much the same thing about the eight inches, Marq, but being the delicate little flower I am, I just didn’t think it would be right to actually *say* it.

I’m just puzzled beccause I know there are prettier boys out there who would top someone six ways from Sunday, if that’s your thing.

I just sort of figured that his customers must’ve been into that whole “forced to have sex with the nastiest guy in the room” top/bottom scene.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

As long as it’s voluntary, and there’s a “safe” word/signal.

mikey, don’t be jealous of JeffyLube. Sure, he got paid for sex. But don’t forget–he had to get it up… and keep it up, when most of his clients looked like FreedomPundit! So, ew.