Hindrocket: Still the King
While the other goobers at Powerline have had their moments of greatness, John Hinderaker today demonstrates again why he is still the final authority on all things wingnutty:
Here is why I think so many liberals are anxious for President Bush to replace Rumsfeld: they have staked a great deal on the proposition that the Iraq war has not gone well, and, in fact, has been a disaster. But they are troubled because they are not at all sure that is true.
Please. We are 100% sure that the Iraq war has been an enormous waste of resources and has produced a theocratic Shiite government that is waging a war against its minority Sunni Arab population.
By any reasonable standard, casualties have been low and Iraq’s progress toward democracy has been impressive.
If you think electing the Supreme Council for Islamic Revolution in Iraq is a step toward genuine democracy, hey, more power to ya.
[Gavin adds: Hey, which should be the new Hinderaker crazy-spiral? I like the one on the left because it’s low-budget, but the one on the right has a Dr. Who time-tunnel thing going on…]
[Gavin adds Dr. Who theme: Dun-da duddada, dun-da duddada, dun-da duddada, dun-dun-dada…]
This doesn’t mean the project couldn’t still go off the rails; it clearly could. But it is also possible–likely, I think–that the Iraqis will succeed in forming a government, violence will continue to decline, our troops levels will be substantially reduced, and, in a year or two, the consensus will be that the war was pretty successful after all.
Violence will continue to decline? When the hell did violence start declining in the first place? Let’s look at some data: in February of this year, 524 civilians died from violence in Iraq. In March, 608 Iraqi civilians died from violence (note: these numbers don’t include data from the Baghdad morgue, which inevitably add another 400-500 deaths per month). That doesn’t seem to indicate “declining violence” to me. More importantly, look at the broader trends in the war- in the first year of the occupation, roughly 20 civilians died per day. In the third year of the occupation, an average of 36 civilians died per day.
This, I think, is what liberals fear most. They want President Bush to stipulate, in effect, that the war has been poorly conducted and has been a failure. That’s the way in which firing Rumsfeld would rightly be interpreted. This would largely insulate liberals against the consequences if the war does, in fact, turn out to be successful. The same logic, I think, explains why liberals are always hectoring President Bush to “admit his mistakes.” What they fear, deep down, is that the President’s policies haven’t been mistakes at all.
So the only reason liberals say Bush’s policies are bad is because they’re actually afraid that his policies are good? Is that seriously what he’s arguing? Wowsers. Thank you, John Hinderaker, for proving once why you’re the Ultimate Wingnut. And here’s a message for all the wannabe Assrockets out there who think they can challenge John for the crown:
Please leave it alone – don’t throw rocks at the throne
Do not bark up that tree, that tree will fall on you
I don’t know why your advisors ain’t forewarn you
Fo’ shizzay.
Certainly violence is decreasing in Iraq.
If you make a timeline that starts with the Assyrian invasion of Babylon, to be followed by the Hittite invasion of Babylon, to be followed immediately by Faisl and T.E. Lawrence’s campaign against Turkey, followed immediately by a week ago last Tuesday, you see a definite downward progression in the amount of violence.
Donald Rumsfeld has nothing on Tiglath-Pilesar or Ashurnasirpal, baby!
Where is Gilgamesh when you need him?
This doesn’t mean the project couldn’t still go off the rails; it clearly could.
Ho-LEE SHEEIT!
ASSMISSILE IS HEDGING HIS BETS?
This war is more doomed than we could ever expect.
Wouldn’t it be fun to imagine what the PowerTools’ last propaganda piece will be before the ineluctible reality can no longer be ignored or lied about? I imagine it will be so shrill and hysterical that windows all around Apple Valley will shatter.
He forgot to mention that if- IF! – the war might happen to go, let’s say, wrong (not that that will happen, of course), then it’s all our fault for not clapping hard enough.
“This doesn’t mean the project couldn’t still go off the rails; it clearly could.”
Jeebus, the Little Engine that Could is chugging along on time and to proper destination now?
no, no; if he believes that, then less power to him.
Judging by Gary’s stupid post a thread or two up, they’ve already adopted this entirely predictable tactic. “Wah! Everything would be Fresca and Take 5 bars in Iraq if it wasn’t for you left-wing meanies! Waaaaaahhh!!1!” It’s pathetic, really.
I can hardly wait for the “the Iranians will welcome us with rose petals and novelty strip-tease pens, once we nuke them! It’s a plan so cunning, you can embalm Soviet leaders with it!”-argument. Sadly, the American public just might fall for it again.
Wouldn’t it be fun to imagine what the PowerTools’ last propaganda piece will be before the ineluctible reality can no longer be ignored or lied about?
Off the rails? Off the rails, did you say?
Shopkeeper: So it is. ‘Ere’s your money back and a couple of holiday vouchers.
Mr Praline: (spends a few seconds acting and looking flabbergasted) Well, you can’t say Thatcher hasn’t changed some things.
Criminey, Gavin!
I think that doubled-up graphic is specifically precluded by the Geneva conventions.
I could actually feel the intelligence draining out of my brain the longer I looked at it…I’m scared now.
What they fear, deep down, is that the President’s policies haven’t been mistakes at all.
Yeah, he fucking read my mind.
What the hell is that white stuff coming out of the bottom of the left swirly pic every few seconds?
Actually I probably only see that because I\’m using custom colours, anyway why not just use both, one for each eye.
This shit just isn\’t gonna sink in unless we attack both hemispheres of the brain at once.
“Wouldn’t it be fun to imagine what the PowerTools’ last propaganda piece will be before the ineluctible reality can no longer be ignored or lied about?”
You know that day will never come. Lying about and ignoring reality is an ongoing process that never ends, like erosion.
My wife keeps walking in the room while I’ve got this post or the one below on the screen, and she sort of wonders if I’m addicted to these images. (Which I am, actually.)
I like the one on the right best for Hindquarters, but I wonder if maybe it should be upside-down or something? Or maybe somehow incorporate this image?
Oh no. I can’t think of a single thing to Photoshop into his hand.
[thinking thinking thinking]
What object might a man grab and move lusciously toward his eager mouth?
[thinking thinking thinking]
Timmah, it looks clean over here, but it’s a hacked-together .gif with a lot of pixel-level correction on the lower edge.
Another tragedy is that the center of the spiral doesn’t quite match up with the eye….
[!!]
Gotta go with the Dr. Who version.
Only way to make it better is to somehow add a sound element of him saying:
“Hi Guys! My name’s Little Cletus and I’m here to tell you a few things about the due process and habeas corpus laws, ok? They’re silly and outdated! Why, back in the 18th Century, governments could imprison whomever they wanted for as long as they wanted. Yippee! Hurray!”
That’s cool, I just steal images from google, so you’re light years ahead of me anyway.
Ever seen one of those huge pinwheels in real life, then use it to screw up your vision? That’s probably the most awesome use of the wheel.
the last post before reality’s ineclutibility intercedes from mr. rearmissile will start thusly:
“well, this whole iraq thing really screwed the pooch. i have to admit, the bush administration blew it through a combination of incompe
and then the singularity will occur/have occured/always be occuring, and there will be a silence so vasty across the universe that no one will be able to witness it, and behindromancandle will join the rest of us in the eternal void. where he will still be wrong about everything, even in the absence of anything.
I like the one on the left. But it would be better if you could make his eyes bulge in and out like that graphic of Ann Coulter from Bartcop a couple of years ago.
The low-budget crazy-spiral is centered on Hinderaker’s right eye, an important detail I think.
Heh, ind00dy, Gavin. Centering the blue swirly on Hindquarters’ left eye is wrong in oh-so-many ways.
No, it works: people who are caught in his mindtrap will be staring into it with their right eye- thus boring into the wingnut cortex.
Will someone get this asshole the hell out of otherwise reasonable Minnesota (take Special Ed and Lileks, too).
Wouldn’t it be fun to imagine what the PowerTools’ last propaganda piece will be before the ineluctible reality can no longer be ignored or lied about?
“Clinton’s Penis Implicated In Sept 11 Bombings According To New Documents Found In Iraq.”
BTW, has anyone seen any of Dr. BLT’s new Buck Owens tributes posted at Power Line? I heard that they stopped posting his stuff after they heard about the sandwich doc’s anti-war recordings. Any truth to that rumor? Just curious. Haven’t heard anything from that right-wing nut lately. I never thought I’d live to say this, but I almost miss the sandwich flavor around here.
Well, he’s definitely more fun to have around that Gary “Impervious to Facts” Ruppert and little miss freshly-squeezed.
You’ve got that right, Marq. Actually, I did check out Dr. BLT’s music and I have to say, though he’s lacking in polish, and certain songs are kind of lame, in a strange way, Dr. BLT is kind of a musical genius. But his politics? Now that’s another story. How someone that seems so intelligent can adhere to such political nonsense is beyond me. Maybe we should stop talking about him. It may encourage him to come back. You know what they say: “Be careful what you wish for.”