Even The Confused Tom Friedman, Etc.
Thomas L. Friedman, Teh New York Times
The Peace (Keepers) Prize
- If the off-ramp of prosperity were to lead me to the industrial park of speechwriting, I would tell Obama to reject the Nobel Peace Prize by accepting it for the US military and Old Testament prophets, because sometimes when you spill the milk of peace you have to invade another country and kill a bunch of people or you’ll wind up getting thrown out at second trying to stretch a slam dunk on the expressway to bad intentions, as a Gujarati barber implied with his excellent mustache trimming technique just the other day.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
UPDATE: In which we assist the Mustache in refining his message …
All that said, I hope Mr. Obama will take this instinct a step further when he travels to Oslo on Dec. 10 for the peace prize ceremony. Here is the speech I hope he will give:
‘Let me begin by thanking the Nobel committee for awarding me this prize, the highest award to which any statesman can aspire. As I said on the day it was announced, “I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who’ve been honored by this prize.” Therefore, upon reflection, I cannot accept this award on my behalf at all.
‘But I will accept it on behalf of the most important peacekeepers in the world for the last century — the munitions, vehicles and nuclear stockpile of the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps.
‘I will accept this award on behalf of our clusterbombs and drone planes, and for the intercontinental ballistic missiles that will rain down on your countries if you fuck with us.
‘I accept this award on behalf of severed limbs and splattered guts and also on behalf of human torsos ripped in half by heavy caliber artillery.
‘I accept it for stinking corpses piled up on the desert sands but also for necklaces made out of human ears in the thickest jungle. I accept it for the screams of the tortured in secret prisons and for naked human pyramids and poisoned water supplies and butchered livestock.
‘I accept this award not just for the arms and legs blown off by landmines to date, but for future human misery that will some day be caused by the unexploded ordnance still laying in wait in agricultural land throughout the world.
‘I accept it not just for the atomic devastation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but also for the looming threat of truly planetary annihilation posed by a global thermonuclear exchange.
‘I accept this award for mustard gas and white phosphorus and napalm, and for the simple but effective act of clubbing people to death with rifle butts.
‘So, in conclusion, will there be sammiches?’
I’m a thinkin’ to Trust The Shorter on this one. And, frist?
Friedman’s recommended close for Obama’s non-acceptance acceptance speech for the Nobel:
‘So for all these reasons — and so you understand that I will never hesitate to call on American soldiers where necessary to take the field against the enemies of peace, tolerance and liberty — I accept this peace prize on behalf of the men and women of the U.S. military: the world’s most important peacekeepers.’
Alternatively:
‘Hey, Euroweenies — we’re bombing you next! Thanks for the stupid trophy, suckers!’
Ah, feck it. I couldn’t resist. L’il Tommy wrote hisself a speech that he wants The President to give when he accepts the NPP.
“So for all these reasons — and so you understand that I will never hesitate to call on American soldiers where necessary to take the field against the enemies of peace, tolerance and liberty…”
Shorter Mustache of Understanding wet dream speech:
“I will use war to enforce peace.”
Ha! There’s vegetables on that sandwich!
Doesn’t the phrase “Confused Tom Friedman” need to be routed to The Department of Redundancy Department?
I thought it was agreed to always refer to him as “The Mustache of Wrongness.”
This was curious:
“I will accept this award on behalf of the American soldiers who stand guard today at outposts in the mountains and deserts of Afghanistan to give that country, and particularly its women and girls, a chance to live a decent life free from the Taliban’s religious totalitarianism.
Can he also accept it on behalf of the CIA officers who bravely armed the mujaheddin? Or the Soviet soldiers who were the original enemehs of jihad? Except they were also the enemehs of teh Yurp… This could get quite confusing.
will never hesitate to call on American soldiers where necessary to take the field against the enemies of peace, tolerance and liberty
So Friedman wants Obama to invade Alabama?
‘And in conclusion, it has become necessary to destroy the Nobel Peace Prize in order to save it.’
‘Also, in recognition of this award, we will be manufacturing cluster bomblets in the shape of little Nobel Peace Prizes, to be dropped by remote-control aircraft on villages in Afghanistan.’
‘Also, in recognition of this award, we will be manufacturing cluster bomblets in the shape of little Nobel Peace Prizes, to be dropped by remote-control aircraft on villages in Afghanistan.’
And from this time forward, “Napalm” will be known as “Peacebalm.”
Is “peacekeepers” the new code for heteros?
The occasion of Obama winning the NPP is the opportunity for wanna-bes everywhere to write their own acceptance speeches.
Ladies and gentleman of the Nobel committee, I accept this award for ‘Fuck you.’ I am humbled by ‘fuck you, you fucking socialist appeasers.’ It is not often that ‘fuck you in the fuckhole with fuckity-fuck-fuck fucking.’ And in conclusion, will there be sammiches?
Even shorter:
*Wraps himself in a amaerican flag* WAR GIVES ME A HUGE GODDAMNED CHUBBY *sniff* Therefore, Obama shouldn’t accept the prize.
Better shorter? Probably more accurate.
“I will accept this award on behalf of all op-ed writers who resort to cheap gimmicks to fill column space”
Actually, why not cut to the chase and have Obama accept the Nobel Peace Prize on behalf of daisy-cutters, fissile material, unexploded ordnance and waterboarding?
Also for Blackwater contractors and naked human pyramids. And phosphorus.
Making fun of Friedman is like shooting fish in a bush – it leads you down the path of good intentional walks.
“I accept this award on behalf of Neoconservative war-fetishists, without whose craven embrace of a semi-functional drydrunk and then cack-handed attempt to co-opt a Snowbilly princess to further their agenda, I would almost certainly not be here.”
“I will accept this award on behalf of all the American airmen and sailors today who keep the sea lanes open and free in the Pacific and Atlantic so world trade can flow unhindered between nations.
Yes, without the US Navy, those damn Somali pirates would be interrupting our Xbox shipments from China.
Why is The Mustache of Wrongness so afraid to type the words “George W. Bush?” Has the dry-drunk become “President Predecessor?”
Sweet Jesus, the only thing missing from his article was a Lee Greenwood midi and a thousand eye-watering bald eagle GIFs rotating in the background. Can you be any more patronizing to the soccer-mom email forwarding set?
This…this is pretty OOT.
“In conclusion, I hereby announce my resignation. My final act as President will be to appoint a select committee of opinion writers from the New York Times and Washington Post to choose my replacement.”
will never hesitate to call on American soldiers where necessary to take the field against the enemies of peace
“Warring for peace, my God it’s GENIUS!” He got that from the same taxi driver who advised him how to eat himself* thin.
*NOT A VEILED REFERENCE. That is
fellatfallacious thinking.Did the MoU come up with this before or after eating one of the delectable delights from Cinnabon?
*NOT A VEILED REFERENCE.
It was only a matter of time.
Friedman forgot to accept the Nobel, I mean, Friedman forgot to make Obama accept the Nobel on behalf of apple pie, Mom, Jesus, the treehouse in the backyard, baseball, white pickett fences, the old fishing hole, Jim Crow and lynching.
Respect for tradition above all.
Best. Photoshop portrait. Ever.
And what’s that paper say? “Suck. On. This.”?
Man, I just can’t stand that guy. What a horse’s ass.
‘So for all these reasons — and so you understand that I will never hesitate to call on American soldiers where necessary to take the field against the enemies of peace, tolerance and liberty — I am reinstating the draft. MPs will call on those who have done so much to keep the voice of freedom ringing across this country, starting with Tomustache Friedman.’
I will never hesitate to call on American soldiers where necessary to take the field against the enemies of peace
Ya know, Tommy, I’m actually all in favor of that. However, the law says you can’t send the Seals or the 82nd Airborne into Dubya’s compound in Dallas and Fourthbranch’s undisclosed location in, um, wherever. You gotta use law enforcement.
We only had your best interests at heart when we told you to suck. on. this. okay. Peace, man!
Oslo. And, also.
Okay, so the Peace Prize should go to America’s troops because they are history’s most important peacekeepers. I suppose I could go with that, if we cherry-picked the right examples.
But his first example is Omaha Beach! Look, the Nazis deserved for a whole lot of horrible things to happen to them, but “peacekeeping” was not one of them. And of course World War II needed to be fought, but that doesn’t mean anybody deserved a Peace Prize as a result.
Anticipating the wingnut response to that last paragraph, I’d point out that Teddy Roosevelt was a sitting President who won the prize, not FDR.
I can’t believe the Mustache of Understanding didn’t end up with something praising the seamen and how with seamen we can tell crappy little countries to Suck. On. This. Again. but strangely, when we say that, we lose our seamen and this is why the Nobel prize should go to Zombie Ronald Reagan.
I wouldn’t even call that ‘lip service’, Tommy.
This freakin’ guy. Another privileged wingnut chicken hawk.
Anyone know if either of his daughters is serving in the military? I would be willing to bet “no”.
I live in an area with a large number of military personnel, and I see a lot of “If you love your freedom, thank a soldier” bumperstickers. I always want to go up to those drivers and say, “Thanks for, y’know, being prepared to defend my Freedom ‘n stuff, but honestly, no American has ever fought, let alone died, actually doing so. We’ve fought a butt-load of wars in our history, but I don’t remember a single one where anyone was even remotely threatening to invade the United States and take away our Freedom–“Red Dawn” notwithstanding.
No, I would say, if you love freedom, thank a Liberal. We’re the ones who fought–and yes, died–for everything from the end of slavery to the Voting Rights Act.
Also, if you love equality, thank a union member. Unions are the ones who fought (and died) for things like the forty-hour work-week, workplace safety, child-labor laws and minimum wages.
And finally, if you love justice, thank a lawyer–yes, a lawyer. Those nasty ol’ trial lawyers are the ones who fight every day to hold corporations accountable for the crimes their wealth would otherwise allow them to commit with impunity. No big company ever made a product less toxic, no mine owner ever provided respirators for its employees, no food producer ever made what we eat healthier, no toy manufacturer ever made a pacifier safer, without the threat of a lawsuit to scare them into virtue.
So sorry, but no soldier ever did me a favor by dying, and by killing others, has instead made me much less safe in a world that is sick of our “brave men and women in uniform.”
“On behalf of the United States, I would just like to say ‘suck on this’.”
*Beats presenter to death with award a la irreversible fire extinguisher scene.
What I’m saying is clearly the most dignified time to be self-aggrandizing is when someone else wins the Nobel Peace Prize.
So… is this better or worse than Von Drehle’s “Give the Peace Prize to the nukes” thesis? At least the nukes make a certain twisted sort of sense. They’re weapons that are too powerful to be used (except that one time (and that other one time)). But this… our military is very much being used to kill people and break things. Kinda the polar opposite of peace, last time I checked the dictionary.
There needs to be a better word for “irony.”
I remember reading From Beirut To Jerusalem way back in the early 90s and thinking, “Hmmm, this Friedman guy seems to know what he’s talking about.” Was I hopelessly naive then or did he used to be less of a hack than he is now?
What Steerpike said. Thank you.
I read Beirut To Jerusalem a while back and it was less warmonger-y, but goddamn were those metaphors still awful
Plus, “take the field”? Soldiers don’t take the field. Football players take the field. This is Mustachio’d Tom’s effort at Obama-like eloquence.
Take the FAIL.
I have a feeling if I went back and read it again, knowing what I now now about the man, I’d be cringing at the metaphors.
The problem with those Worth 1000™-style P-shops that you’ve been favoring us with lately is that they sometimes make the subject look more dignified than they actually are; Friedman, for example, really deserves his NYT headshot–it’s the look of a high school guidance counselor who, without saying a word, compels his counselees to insist on an open office door.
I’m amused that he reached back all the way to the Berlin Airlift. What, no Dresden?
Teabaggers are telling me that my democratically elected government trying to give everyone the freedom to go to the doctor when they need to is slavery.
Bush, Palin, and the Fundies have been telling me for years that intentional ignorance about the complexity of a the modern world is moral strength.
Now along comes Little Tommy Douchebag to tell me that war is the source of peace.
It all seems so familiar, somehow.
How in hell does he get paid for writing and thinking this badly?
Do the people who pay Friedman think it’s genius, because it’s the way they think too?
I swear to God, he is the most mediocre frickin’ hack I can think of. Yet even BIll Maher will have him on his show and not laugh in his face.
David Brooks is a smarmy propagandouchebagt, but at least his prose is smooth. For fuck’s sake.
It’s not the ‘Nobel Devastated-into-submission-except-for-those-pesky-insurgents Prize’, Tommy.
Oooops, I was still all vealy from Friday’s snarking…
veally is very rich in irony.
Shorter shorter Freidman:
Peace is War.
Ever original.
This guy fills me with a terrible, terrible RAGE.
The wingnut chicken-hawk types think waving our military presence around the faces of the world like a giant rubber PENIS is the best policy, and hope that everybody around the world is scared of our giant metaphor to the point of not wanting to fight anymore.
It comes down to this almost gleeful willingness to chuck young men and women at the world’s problems with carless abandon, dumping children and siblings and parents into foreign countries to kill and mutilate and torture foreign children and siblings and parents, and think that flags-pins and bumper-stickers and “FREEDOM!” are going to make everything justified and okay when those relatives come back missing pieces or in boxes. The foreign countries in question are less likely to be left in “shock and awe” to the point of peace, and are very likely nursing some fresh animosities where none were before.
The tally of these chest thumping, flag sucking macho types who actually serve or have children in the service are really damned low. That is for someone else to sacrifice, and they will just be really, really grateful for their patriotic and noble (heh) sacrifice. We took your loved one from you forever for
some damned oil,no bid contracts,FREEDOM!!!! Here is a nicely folded flag.Back in the day, he was a bit more intelligent in his writing. Back then, he was actually in Beirut and Jerusalem. The danger was real, and he was less likely to bellow about “taking the field” for peace. Now, he’s a talking head for the Dick/Bush crowd. Now he’s all BOMBZ AND GUNZ 4EVAH! Asshole.
I…feel better now. Sorry…[/rant]
Hey guys. Going on an Applebee’s salad bar run. Anyone want anything?
Milton; Thomas. Both Freidmans, both wrong, yet both have acquired many undeserved accolades.
It’s gotta be the name.
Obama should turn down his Nobel right after Friedman gives back his Pulitzer.
but what about Kinky Friedman?
To continue the Orwellian theme, I would like to award the Freedom prize to the slave owners of America’s pre-bellum South, and the Strength prize to Tom Friedman.
Friedman also hopes that Obama says “in the interest of world peace, I am giving General Growth Properties five billion dollars and declaring them solvent.”
What part of “kept man” don’t you understand?
DragosaniBOB said,
Friedman is a charlatan. He just uses mutilated metaphors to baffle the audience. It might fool you once, but on second look, the whole content is childish and the presentation is pathetic.
I don’t think Friedman is even smart enough to be a sophist. He doesn’t have a second hidden agenda. I don’t think he even know what it is he does.
He has his equal in all of those proud defenders of the British empire circa 1900. It’s the same BS, with “honor” used as a veneer over policies that were about the profits of a few.
The exception that proves the rule, he’s central to someone’s something.
Oh crap, I forgot to paste in the but what about Kinky Friedman? bit. Distracted by thoughts of kept men, obviously.
DragosaniBOB said,
October 12, 2009 at 18:17
It’s gotta be the name.
but what about Kinky Friedman?
He”s gotta be the exception that proves the rule.
Damn! Tigrismus beat me to it.
Why is The Mustache of Wrongness so afraid to type the words “George W. Bush?”
‘Cause he gets drool in his moustache when thinking of the GWBush CodPiece Prize.
I accept this award for mustard gas
Dijon mustard gas?
…but I don’t remember a single one where anyone was even remotely threatening to invade the United States…
(well, there was that little episode in 1812..)
waving our military presence around the faces of the world like a giant rubber PENIS
Also known as the Godlstein Doctrine.
funny, two weeks ago capitalism and imperialism were GOOD things.
Teh Veal said,
October 12, 2009 at 17:43 (kill)
Teabaggers are telling me that my democratically elected government trying to give everyone the freedom to go to the doctor when they need to is slavery.
Bush, Palin, and the Fundies have been telling me for years that intentional ignorance about the complexity of a the modern world is moral strength.
Now along comes Little Tommy Douchebag to tell me that war is the source of peace.
It all seems so familiar, somehow.
Some Presidents are more equal than others.
They’re weapons that are too powerful to be used (except that one time (and that other one time)).
But American nukes are Nukes of Love, with Gamma Ray Hugs!!
Obviously fake purity troll is obvious and fake.
The international bourgeoisie has officially thrown in their lot with Obama now, this prize makes it official. They want him to be the savior of world capitalism and the American-European imperialist bloc.
We totally need a vanguard to upset that particular dialectical apple cart. You should sign up … I hear there are special perks.
Alt. Shorter:
Obama is taking W’s peace prize.
Remember when some guy came up to Jesus and said (paraphrasing)” good master, how can I be assured a place in heaven” . Then Jesus said “don’t call me good. Only God is good”. Then he said ” to make it into heaven, you must gather up some little shit hole country in the Mid East throw it against the wall. Then you must stomp on the little shit hole country. Then tell them suck on this”
Progressive Concern Troll Voice will be happy as soon as Obama declares unilateral US disarmament, orders the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq to unconditionally surrender to the nearest Mullah, dissolves all branches of the American military, liquidates all US publicly- and privately-held assets and distributes the proceeds directly to third-world peasants who have been victimized by a century of American imperialism. Anything less, and Obama is a “lying war criminal” who is no better than Henry Kissinger, Pol Pot, Robert Mugabe, Idi Amin, Roseanne Barr, Benito Mussolini and yes, HITLER, all rolled into one.
Please stop by the desk on your way out to collect your purity prize.
Progressive Voice is so obviously Troofy that it makes my teeth hurt.
Shut up, Troofus. You’re not fooling anyone.
Steerpike, nobody said purity was purty.
Did I mention that Progressive Voice is obviously Troofus, and that he should shut up, mostly because nobody cares what he thinks no matter what nym he uses?
I thought I did, but it seems wordpress ate my comment.
FYWP.
I’m still waiting for those awesum gems like “always pull up on the backstroke while invading a middle-eastern country” and “my hot latina ex-stripper wife hates punk bitches”
I mean, “pandering to Zionists ” and “international bourgoise”? Seriously?
Obama’s Nobel Prize is proof of an evil capitalist conspiracy. Bookmark this, libs. You will wonder how the hell I was able to call this.
PV! Our favorite progressive troll! Keeping the Sadlynaught’s rants honest and interesting, as usual.
Facist, not socialist. There is a bit of a crowbar separation.
Well, the I and the E are reversed, so there is that.
Which is exactly why he a reallygood fit for Texas. They elected GWB, for christsakes, and he lost to Rick “Secede” Perry. Complexity and depth are completely lost out here.
Most of the progressives I know always say Zionists.
..“pandering to Zionists ” and “international bourgoise”? Seriously?
Yeah, he does read like some sort of activist stereotype, huh?
“bruning” straw? Hey, I’m not the one who called the president a war criminal.
I’m going to go out on a limb here, and assume you voted for Ralph Nader in all three of the past elections. He’s your ideal, isn’t he? Like the mythical “Lady” in metaphysical poetry, or a Socratic ideal of the perfect prince, the Aristotelian philosopher-king, or the asexual characters in the “Mystery Date” game. You can fantasize how your perfect knight would make everything all better with a wave of his magical penis, and you never have to worry about him becoming tainted with the grubby reality of legislative compromises, lobbying, fund-raising, or keeping a diverse party from fracturing. None of these things will ever intrude on your dream of The One True Political Savior, because he will never, ever, ever, ever have the merest wisp of a chance to actually BE the president.
I remember the choice we had last year: It wasn’t between Obama and Perfect; it was between Obama an McCain. I have not yet had any reason to regret the choice I made.
*Dismantle all political prisons and free the political prisoners (not just Guantanamo, but Baghram and the secret eastern European political prisons)
*Withdraw from Afghanistan
*Withdraw from Iraq (supposedly we voted for this in 2006, but we’re still there, and will be for three more years! CHANGE!
*Establish single payer health care
Sounds fairly simple to me. Why is it nobody will take this gentleman seriously?
Little Tommy hit the Save button on his computer when he finished his latest pocket masterpiece, sat back and indulged in a bit of mitty-esque fantasy about his opus – him reading it aloud to the swelling strains of ‘America the Beautiful’ in the background, wheeling eagles, and tiny wide-eyed blond tots with hands on their hearts. It reaches millions and millions of page views in you tube, and garners nothing but awed, literate comments.
Well Obama can now join Kissinger as a fellow lying war criminal who won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Well I guess that makes me a lying war criminal too by Troofie’s definition. Who knew?
And you just joined Rush Limbaugh as a gaping asshole. Welcome to the club! There are no rules except one rule, and that’s that there are no rules.
There’s also no civility or credibility where you’re doing, and you may discover yourself to be such a social pariah that even with billions of Wingnut Welfare Bucks in your pocket you can’t buy a football team because the rest of the world thinks you . . . are an asshole.
Friedman telling Obama how to make a speech.
Maybe this arrogant, clueless asshole can lecture Albert Puhols on how to hit a baseball next.
Why is it nobody will take this gentleman seriously?
Probably because he is sowing dissent for a ‘Mr Perfect’ who get more than a fair share of GOP love.
When you are looking for someone to blame for 8 years of Dick/Bush, you know where to look.
Rush Limbaugh as a gaping asshole
proximity alarm!!
Go up against them, and you get labeled as insane
That’s called a tell.
Would one of you Canuckistanis verify for me whether this really does have that flavor? Is it available for export to the US?
Fight the power mustache!
I’ve always heard that they have excellent taste, just look at QEFTSG.
Heh heh. “Pujols.”
POO HOLES
Tom Tommorow has always had it right on Friedman.
C’mon, PV – we all knew it was going to an incremental, baby-steps shift towards more progressive policy when we elected Obama. This lumping him in with Kissinger just isn’t very helpful in understanding what he’s about or what could be done to push him towards more progressive actions, in my opinion. Then there’s the outdated, late-night-dorm-room flavor to your description of the ‘international bourgeoisie’ and the ‘American-European imperialist bloc’.
Fight the power by heightening the contradictions! Palin 2012!
Then there’s the outdated, late-night-dorm-room flavor to your description of the ‘international bourgeoisie’ and the ‘American-European imperialist bloc’.
All we’re missing is a ‘capitalist dogs’.
… some of whom just happen to be torturers, rapists & serial-killers (& a lot prouder of it than anyone in the CIA, to judge by their own statements) … & quite a few of whom have openly vowed (with perfectly good reasons in the form of dead relatives & comrades) to Kill Up Some Yankees Real Good the moment they’re free to do so – yeah, great plan you’ve got there. What could possibly go wrnog?
I imagine that brilliant idea of yours is up to at least #3 on the GOP’s Super-Duper-Secret Wish-List between now & 2012 … you’d have no problem getting either Michael Steele or Karl Rove to agree with it whatsoever (off-the-record, of course).
Getting them on the road back to negotiating with Israel after having Israel render Gaza severely bootfucked, within a year of said bootfucking, isn’t exactly inhumane, sport – not when you contemplate the likely alternative.
Once again, proof that overdosing on dogma causes brain-damage. In case you didn’t notice, those particular sabers were a fuck of a lot more rattle-prone about two years ago, back when Teh Mighty Speedboats O’ Doom were menacing the oh-so-fragile US Navy … & the Nobel committee has openly stated that the prize was given to Obama in part to encourage him to continue & expand his (by now) wildly radical policy of replacing “Diplomacy-By-Helicopter-Gunship” with “Diplomacy-By-Diplomats” – & given Obama’s obvious interest in maintaining a positive public image, that’s neither naive nor unwise of them.
I’ll see your stawmen & raise you two selective-memory-chips, honeybuns.
Call.
Have you ever really looked at your fingernails, man? I mean really looked at them? It’s like whole little world under there.
Almost everybody knew that, but there’s still the handful of people who think electing the Most Perfect Leftist Ever as President would magically bring the Purity Pony’s blessing to the US and fix everything bad by day 2, leaving the remaining 8 years for hummus appreciation and the Fourth Internationale.
Also, there are the people who pretend to be those people to try to piss off other people on the internet.
“Sounds fairly simple to me. Why is it nobody will take this gentleman seriously?”
For the same reason we won’t a job applicant seriously unless we can see things he’s already accomplished.
Nader did great things for auto safety, saved a lot of people’s lives. For that he has my admiration – that was something that was actually accomplished.
I’ve got two huge problems with Nader.
1. For all the great things he’s said while running for office, what has he actually done? For any change to happen, you can’t just change the President. He needs party backing or he’s done. Why isn’t Nader stumping for other independent Senators, Congressmen, Governors? Hell, Mayors and State legislators. There he could do some good, building something from the ground up.
From what I can see, for all the great things he says he’s only really promoted himself.
2. Running an entire frickin’ country from the top doesn’t only require brains, knowledge and a plan. It takes serious management skills or it will epic fail. See George Bush. It’s hard to sort out which was worse – his agenda or his mismanagement.
I’d feel a lot better about Nader if he actually ran a city. With his star power he could elected easily *somewhere* in the US. Let’s see how he actually gets things done.
It’d be even better to see him as a Senator or Congressperson. Something else that’s easily within his power. The excuse I hear for Nader not doing this is cringe-inducing – “When you join the Congress you have to sell out to the System, man!” Bullshit. You do have to get things done.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d LOVE to see Nader at all the debates. I think the things he says should be heard, and would completely elevate the debates. Just like Perot elevated the debates between Clinton and Dole, which otherwise would never have even mentioned NAFTA.
But someone who would actually be a good President? Not Nader.
The idiot Friedman called Tom
Thinks that peace can come from a bomb
His books sell by the truckload
While his mind has a fuckload
Of theories he found in his pants.
I mean, “pandering to Zionists ” and “international bourgoise”? Seriously?
I totally went to college with that guy.
I totally went to college with that guy.
The one with the Che Guevara shirt and the jaunty berret? Dude!
All we’re missing is a ‘capitalist dogs’.
When did they stop running?
All we’re missing is a ‘capitalist dogs’.
We’re lacking lackeys as well, no?
Would Nader make a good president? Who knows? We certainly never will, but that’s the point: In the minds of the Nadermites, he will always have been the perfect standard of the ideal Liberal, because he will never have had to get his hands dirty with the down-in-the-dirt reality of actually governing.
To all of you die-hard Nader backers: Why aren’t you spending all of your time and resources right now to eliminate the Electoral College, or at least amend the constitution so that a majority of electoral votes would not be required to win the presidency? I will answer my own question: Because you only want him to run as a gadfly, and a sop to your oh-so-pure conscience—you would be scared shitless if there were ever the slightest chance he might actually win!
I totally went to college with that guy.
I went to college with a few dozen of them. They were annoying, but on the whole I miss that place. At least until some doofwad like PV shows up and shits all over my nostalgia trip.
Haha. McKinney? Seriously?
She’s not too “left”, she’s too “crazy”.
…guess what happened to McKinney? The DNC threw her out of the party because she was too “left”…
That’s not how we remember it.
You were brainwashed by a corporate media and AIPAC smear campaign.
Yes, the problem with living in a democracy is being forced to tolerate a stupid electorate.
I’m not calling her “uppity”, I’m calling her crazy. Any party that would run a truther for President deserves to live in Gary’s historical dustbin.
With regards to the Palestinian situation, why isn’t Obama threatening to cut off aid if the Zionists don’t stop building the illegal settlements and withdraw from the Occupied Territories? That would be real “change”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: One of the biggest tragedies of the Bush years is that st00pid fucking idjits like troofie have come to expect the president to be a blundering dolt who perfectly exemplifies Dunning Krueger and wave his dick around making tactical errors one after another. Which action, unfortunately, results in the US getting our metaphoric nuts cut off.
Sure, ignore the (crazy) elephant in the room.
What am I, chopped liver?
The troll is kinda funny. He really thinks he’s fooling us, doesn’t he?
Remind us again, PV, what you’ve done to aid the struggle?
The troll is funny. He really thinks he’s fooling everyone, doesn’t he?
Remind us again, PV, what you’ve done to aid The Struggle?
What the hell, WordPress?
Unless “pants” has a wildly different pronunciation in NZ, you’ve committed a tiny little rhyme fail there. May I be so presumptuous as to make a suggestion?
The idiot Friedman called Tom
Thinks that peace can come from a bomb
His books sell by the truckload
While he pockets a fuckload
Of cash from his wife’s dad and mom.
I think it’s kind of pretty, don’t you?
It strikes me that twoofus exhibits precisely the same shit for brains syndrome we see on the right.
I’ve had fun in the past by responding to, for example, “He’s going to take our guns away!” with “How?” Really, just how is he going to do that? Well, they respond, he’ll outlaw guns! And how will he do that? He can’t enact legislation, that’s up to Congref. And so on. If you can actually keep them engaged, you make them understand that the Preznit simply doesn’t have the power, the ability to do such a thing. Oh, I see, the one way he actually _could_ is to declare martial law. Do you REALLY think that’s going to fly? The entire congress, military and populace is just going to say “I told you so” and do nothing else, then. Is that right?
They’re scared shitless of of the bogeyman. Twoofie’s instantiation of the syndrome is that he thinks the Preznit can just do any fucking thing he wants. Without consequence. Without (probably) legal authority.
Shit. For. Brains.
PV reminds me of the guy in a old National Lampoon cartoon, listening to Bob Dylan and thinking, “Stalin wasn’t a real Communist. I was a real Communist!”
I suppose I need to add, for those with feces cranii, the information that th President doesn’t directly control aid to Israel. Congref does. AIPAC owns half the Senate, at least. The complications have complications.
See, here’s the thing. When I look in my voter’s pamphlet at the different third-party candidates for different offices, the thing that always jumps out at me is that when I want to get a little dose of the crayzeeee, I just need to find a LIbertarian or a Green.
I don’t need to brainwashed by the MSM, I just need to read their own words.
Fine, so I’ll ask again: How goes your project to amend the US Constitution?
Return with me to an alternate universe in the year 2000, where we discover that Ralph, “Ralph” Nader’s immense charisma and his legions of electrified supporters have made him the most competitive 3rd-party candidate in history. Heck, let’s go full-metal fantasyland and say that Ralph managed to win more electoral votes than either Al Gore or George Bush–why not? Let’s say in a close 3-way split, Ralph gets 45% of the electoral vote, Gore gets 30%, and Bush gets a mere 25%. Does this mean Ralph Nader gets to be inaugurated in January as president? Not so fast.
According to the Constitution, if no candidate receives a majority (>50%) of the Electoral Vote, the election is thrown to Congress. In a competitive 3-or-more-way race, this outcome would be almost guaranteed. How many Democrats or Republicans do you think would bow to the will of their states’ voters and vote to confirm the clear winner?
Actually it’s even more complicated than that. The president would be chosen by the House of Representatives; the vice president would be chosen by the Senate. Maybe we would end up with a Nader-Cheney administration, or Bush-Lieberman.
In fact, it gets even wackier. In the House, in the event of an electoral college stalemate, each individual Representative does not get to vote; each state gets one vote. If a state’s delegation can’t agree on how to vote, the state can abstain. But if too many states abstain, the vote can lack a quorum, in which case, the VP selected by the Senate could become the President by fiat. (There is some dispute about what would actually happen in this case).
So, you must be working very, very hard, I would guess, to overhaul this anachronism. If (when) we reach this point, with a historically close 3-way electoral split, There will be a constitutional crisis that will make November 2000 look like a minor dispute over a parking ticket.
You’re also undoubtedly working to get third party candidates all over the country organized and elected, starting with city councils, county commissions, state legislatures, governors. Eventually you will want to shift to the national scene, to elect Greens, Socialists, and other 3rd party candidates into the House and Senate. That way, not only will your ambitious Constitutional Amendment project have more legislative support, you will also have a fighting chance at getting Nader elected in the House of Representative, just in case the Amendment fails.
Or maybe you are just proudly throwing your vote away on Nader, McKinney, Pat Paulson–whoever–so that you can drift serenely above the fray, saying “Don’t blame me; I voted for the Purity ticket!”
OFFS. Ewick is at it again:
Also, WP is the Goebbels of the intertronz.
Are we still pretending Troofie is a “Progressive Voice”?
I’m not into personality cults, unlike some of the supposed leftists in the Democratic Party.
Naderites sure looked like a personality cult to me.
Good. The voters would have massive protests until the person who won the popular vote would be inaugurated as President. They would either do that, or face revolution. That’s what the Democrats SHOULD have done in 2000 instead of rolling over.
Let me get this straight. You say that people would riot in the streets and even start a revolution if a questionable point of procedure got an undeserving candidate inaugurated as President.
And your evidence for this is that in 2000, when a questionable point of procedure got an undeserving candidate inaugurated as President … the above DIDN’T happen.
Weird how that works.
The voters would have massive protests until the person who won the popular vote would be inaugurated as President. They would either do that, or face revolution.
What? Is this a discussion of an old version of Sim City?
Ok, then: don’t ask don’t tell. He can end that any time he wants by executive order, but he hasn’t. Don’t give me any bullshit about Congress–he can do that RIGHT NOW.‘
Sadly, maybe. Obama’s current position is that Congress has exclusive authority to lift the ban.[citation needed] However, in May 2009, a committee of military law experts at the University of California at Santa Barbara[30] concluded that it is within the authority of the executive branch to discontinue the policy.[31]
Regardless of what he technically can do, it would be politically disastrous to do it by executive order. As in, it would be the right thing to do and phenomenally stupid to actually do it.
Shit. For. Brains.
Nader, McKinney, Pat Paulson
That’s teh funnay!
POO HOLES
If they see massive protests and riots they will throw overboard any “constitutional” concerns and either agree to the demands of the masses or be overthrown.
Why do you hate the Constitution? Why do you hate America?
I wish an enlightened, privileged white college student would tell us for whom to vote.
POO HOLES
Not as effective as a shit moat.
McKinney in 2008. I’m not into personality cults
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA etc.
Naderites sure looked like a personality cult to me.
You don’t understand. He’s not into “personality cults”; only “cults of personality”. Hasn’t the birther movement taught us anything, people?
Guy Fieri is the Goebbels of TGI Fridays. I wonder if he likes being the Goebbels of TGI Fridays.
Guy Fieri is the Goebbels of TGI Fridays.
So, is the Jack Daniels Grill the Jew of TGI Fascism? Were it so, this would be central to my point.
If they see massive protests and riots they will throw overboard any “constitutional” concerns and either agree to the demands of the masses or be overthrown.
And here we have it. Why live quietly for a cause when you (or, most likely, other poor saps) can die loudly for it.
Listen, Sparky, what you just posted is not fun or romantic or even guaranteed to work.
The Jack Daniels Grill is the Panzer of TGI fascism. The Jew of TGI fascism is Bennigan’s.
I honestly don’t think Progressive Voice is Troofus. He’s emitted a typo here and there, but in general, he exhibits a command of the English language that Troofus wouldn’t be capable of even dreaming about if he washed down turkey and red wine with Welsh rarebit and slept under a pyramid.
Perhaps I’m more tolerant of extreme left-wing trolls than I am of the extreme right variety because fundamentally, they are right about almost everything in principle. The annoying lack of connection with reality unfortunately renders them useless in actually affecting the world for the better.
OK, I agree strongly with a lot of his positions: Our support for and bankrolling of the Zionist occupation of Palestine is at the root of most of our foreign policy problems and must be ended. And we should have risen up in rebellion when the election of 2000 was stolen.
On the other hand, Ralph Nader is an idiot. On any subject that I know anything about, he breaks new ground in the field of ignorance every time he opens his mouth, so I can only assume the rest of his theories are the same.
Obama’s peace prize puts him in the same category as Henry Kissinger? Please! Obama has done more for peace than anyone in recent memory. He got Iran to agree to third-party reprocessing of most of their fissionable material. Did years of hearing “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” from the right wing accomplish that? He got an agreement with the Russians that will reduce the world’s nuclear arsenal by a third—something that didn’t even make the news in this fucked-up country. If Ronnie Ray-gun had come back from Reykjavík with anything resembling that, he would have won the NPP, and deservedly so.
Calling Obama a war criminal because he inherited two wars and can’t just cut and run doesn’t really advance the discussion either. Fucking Nixon came into office promising unilateral withdrawal from Viet Nam only to discover that the North Vietnamese wouldn’t let him, even though that’s what they’d been demanding all along. I’m confident that if Obama finds out it’s not as easy to pull out as he thought, that he won’t be inspired to the blind acts of rage that Nixon was. You know what? I’m confident that he won’t be.
You won’t find anybody more fundamentally left-wing than I am, but I knew going in that Obama would fit comfortably in any Conservative Party in the world—and I’m Ok with that. Baby steps, baby steps. Especially considering the alternative. Progressive Voice needs to get out a little more and consider possibilities. if he did, he’d see that we’re on the right track, just not moving down it fast enough.
I suppose we will find out which Sooner than later
Reverend, well spoken.
Bookmark this, libs: Obama is a fashist. Noted progressive Jonah Goldberg says so.
Nader, McKinney, Pat Paulson
Heh. That’s still got me chuckling.
I’m confused… why did PV vote for one of the guys who killed Matthew Shephard? That doesn’t sound very progressive.
Fuck Nader. Instead of building up a viable third party that might capture a lot of state level positions, and maybe a couple of house seats, all he ever wanted to do was tilt at windmills with his attempts to neutralise the DFH vote in every single fucking election.
Yeah yeah, both parties are the exact same thing, blah blah. The common cold and ebola are both viruses, but I know which id rather have.
So long Ralphie, and thanks for all the seatbelts.
IZ IN YR ELEKSHUN
SIPHONIN YR MARJIN OF VIKTREE
I still haven’t heard what PV is doing to further his causes.
I work at a newspaper that loves them some Coulter, O’Reilly, Sowell and Elder. We also use Thomas Friedman, who frequently appears as the voice of reason in comparison.
Last night, I was busy with other things and was deprived the joys of copy editing the mine field that is the Tuesday editorial page, but one of my co-workers singled out Friedman to comment: That was lame.
I’ll assume she was talking about this particular column.
Or maybe you are just proudly throwing your vote away on Nader, McKinney, Pat Paulson
No love for Harold Stassen?
it’s the look of a high school guidance counselor who, without saying a word, compels his counselees to insist on an open office door.
**Golf Clap**
Lookit this. Questionnaires sent to GOP county chairmen. And their answers.
For example:
…but I don’t remember a single one where anyone was even remotely threatening to invade the United States…
(well, there was that little episode in 1812..)
To say nothing of those three days in July 1863…
Einstein? The guy who worked as a government bureaucrat in the Swiss patent office? That Einstein?
Einstein? The guy who worked as a government bureaucrat in the Swiss patent office?
Where, according to my second-favorite movie, he did his best work.
No, not uppity. Just crazy.
“U.S. Capitol Police are seeking charges of simple assault against Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) after an incident last week between McKinney and an officer at a security checkpoint. Police say the officer, not recognizing McKinney, asked her to stop and then touched her; they scuffled and she struck him in the chest with a cell phone. McKinney says she is a victim of inappropriate touching and racism.”
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5323602
“Frustrated, McKinney stood up and apparently forgot she was still wearing the microphone. Her offscreen comments were captured on tape. She was heard saying, “Oh, crap, now you know what … they lied to [aide Coz Carson], and Coz is a fool.” McKinney returned on screen with the microphone, this time with instructions on what parts of the interview CBS 46 was allowed to use, “anything that is captured by your audio… that is captured while I’m not seated in this chair is off the record and is not permissible to be used… is that understood?”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12464118/from/RSS/
AND…
“McKinney’s Bodyguard Shoves Channel 2 Reporter”
http://www.wsbtv.com/video/8514591/detail.html
Oh, and wasn’t there something about her accusing the National Guard of slaughtering prisoners in New Orleans and dumping their bodies after Katrina?
For comparison purposes, Barbara Lee is a black woman, a US Representative, and supports just about everything that McKinney supported. She’s the chairperson of the Congressional Black Caucus. The difference is that Lee isn’t crazy. Instead, she wins re-election with massive majorities every two years, including the majority of the white voters.
(And she’s my representative.)
There’s something Henry Ford just doesn’t like about that Einstein fella, if he can only put his finger on it…
2) What is the most worrisome part of Barack Obama’s presidency?
“The unbridled horse race to Fabian socialism on the one hand, ”
At least its not bridled, two-handed Frankie Avalon socialism because that’s were I draw the line. Also known as Funicelloism.
Einstein? The guy who worked as a government bureaucrat in the Swiss patent office? That Einstein?
…or, contrariwise, I was not toilet-trained (to the best of my recollection) on the mandate of a government bureaucrat. ipso facto…QED
#14:
What’s to be done about the soft &spoiled?
I do not mean to imply the the government required that I not be toilet-trained. Carry on.
I can’t never get no respect!
What’s to be done about the soft &spoiled?
From M. Bouffant’s link:
… the fact that there are avowed and unapologetic Cummunists in the White House…
The less said about that, the better.
What’s to be done about the soft &spoiled?
If we are talking about tomatoes, and I think we are, I find it best to throw them at Fox viewers and Rush listeners. Then the circle will become complete.
That’s what I’m saying ckc.
I couldn’t agree more…the Republicans should just give up on the hispanic vote and clamor for taller walls and automated machine-gun nests on the southern border.
Whazzat? Canada? What about it?
This is Rush at his most soft and spoiled.
http://alllayedout.com/Images/Funny_Pics/graphics/why_fat_people_should_not_bungee_jump.jpg
“Whazzat? Canada? What about it?”
How can terrorists come over the Canadian border. Everyone knows the mooslems are allergic to hockey and Canadian bacon. Moran.
.. automated machine-gun nests …
I love to go out into the woods in the breeding season … the sound of the little volleys from the nestlings … music to my ears
I believe that the wreckless spending in Washington is part of a plan to wreck our economy and facilitate a socialist takeover of the basic industries as the Fabian socialists did in Great Britain following World War One.
Personally speaking, I favor spending that doesn’t cause wrecks.
Question: How can “wreckless” spending wreck the economy?
From M. Bouffant’s link:
… the fact that there are avowed and unapologetic Cummunists in the White House…
The less said about that, the better.
They firmly believe it will take more stimulus, probably in the form of a direct money shot, to bring the hard times to a satisfactory conclusion.
At least its not bridled, two-handed Frankie Avalon socialism because that’s were I draw the line. Also known as Funicelloism.
I like that. It’s got a nice beat and you can dance to it.
“If you want to see the true essence of America, visit any U.S. military outpost in Iraq or Afghanistan.”
I’m sure many Afghans and Iraqis agree with this sentiment.
Isn’t Funicelloism the philosophy that if the market starts to fall, you try and catch it with Annette?
Team Palin:
Oh Goody! When should I call my Senator on Columbus day Team Sarah?
HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Team Sarah Health Care Bill Review Board
IT”S A DEATH PANEL!!!
Isn’t Funicelloism the philosophy that if the market starts to fall, you try and catch it with Annette?
Go to your room, Wyatt Watts the Third.
You all new this was coming but I expected that it would take at least a few more weeks.
http://www.impeachobamacampaign.com/
“Enough is enough. We’re calling for the Impeachment of Barack Hussein Obama. And if you agree, you can join us right now.
Right here and right now, you can add your voice to ours… and add your name to the Articles of Impeachment against Barack Hussein Obama.
Why are we calling for the Impeachment of Barack Hussein Obama?
Radio-personality Tammy Bruce may have said it best:
“… ultimately, it comes down to… the fact that he seems to have, it seems to me, some malevolence toward this country, which is unabated.”
Oh… there are many reasons to call for the impeachment of Barack Hussein Obama and there is more than just cause to call for his impeachment.
But as Bruce said, Obama’s “unabated malevolence toward this country, which is unabated” makes it all the more imperative that we take action now… without delay.
How long must we wait… how long should we sit back and permit Barack Hussein Obama to rip apart the fabric of this country before we take action?
Red Star Are you terrified at Barack Obama’s campaign to change our country into a third-world nation?
Red Star Are you willing to sit back and watch Obama bulldoze our great nation? Red Star Are you willing to let him construct a totalitarian regime… fascism, socialism, Obamaism… take your pick?”
Can I pick Cummunism?
Is bated malevolence a better class of malevolence than the unabated kind? I want only the good stuff.
…We will not willingly fall into the hands of tyrants.
He forgot to add, “WOLVERINES!!!11!one!”
Elitist.
You can pick through the cummun but don’t over use it. It tends to overwhelm the dish. Try a adding a little fennel too.
(snark off)
Floyd Abrams is a seriously maladjusted imbecile with the emotional maturity of a spoiled 6-year old boy who throws a temper tantrum in the Toys R Us if mom won’t buy him another talking Shrek doll because he “accidently” lodged the last one up his ass trying to gross out his sister. The guy hates America, hates democracy and hates the truth. He is a festering slug of a sorry excuse for a human being who should crawl back under that dung-heap from whence he came. Fuck him. Fuck him twice with a hard bound edition of Glenn Beck’s Magum Opus “How to Sell Books to Idiots” or whatever the hell its called.
Also known as Funicelloism.
Adherents are known as Funicellists.
“Adherents are known as Funicellists.”
And they ride around in Funiculars.
I think Obamaism is like Nazism except all blackity, black, black, black.
All kidding aside, anyone who writes this sentence, “unabated malevolence toward this country, which is unabated” deserves to die in a FEMA death camp.
Fuck him twice with a hard bound edition of Glenn Beck’s Magum Opus “How to Sell Books to Idiots” or whatever the hell its called.
This reminds me of the polite email I got from Amazon.com informing me that they had disallowed my proposed tag for Joe (not Joe) the Plumber (not a plumber)’s Fighting for the American Dream: “Books for Illiterates.”
ImpeachObamaCampaign.com is a project of the Policy Issues Institute.
Contributions are not deductible for tax purposes.
30011 Ivy Glenn Dr., Suite 223
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
Do not click the button. This is a false front. If you give them your name & email you go to the top of the list for the FEMA camps!!
Ooo, camping!!!
How long must we wait… how long should we sit back and permit Barack Hussein Obama to rip apart the fabric of this country before we take action?
I think at least until he commits some sort of high crime and/or misdemeanor. PRO TIP: Presidentin’ While Black isn’t really illegal, nor is Unabated Malevolent Unabateding.
Will there be singing? I do so love The Internationale.
… the fact that there are avowed and unapologetic Cummunists in the White House…
I don’t think that Jim Guckert is visiting now that W is gone.
Here’s what they say he’s done:
“Books for Illiterates.”
…maybe you should try “Buks for
Ilitterutsnot reedrs”All kidding aside, anyone who writes this sentence, “unabated malevolence toward this country, which is unabated” deserves to die in a FEMA death camp.
That’s not the only reason Tammy Bruce
deserves to die in a FEMA death campshould be re-educated, if you know what i mean.This one’s visual. Very subtle.
Can I pick Cummunism?
Sure. They say it tastes like homo.
[I just had to do that again.]
“How long must we wait… how long should we sit back and permit Barack Hussein Obama to rip apart the fabric of this country before we take action? “
That’s hawt. We can only hope that Obama will be forcing something down our throats too.
Because Obama is such a wimpy peacenick type of genocidal tyrant, he’ll probably make you sing “kumbaya” by the campfire and force you to make friendship bracelets before he sends you off for extermination. I hate that song. Fucking hippies!
Here’s what they say he’s done:
…maybe in future they should just combine the inauguration with an impeachment ceremony (long-form birth certificate gets you off).
tigrismus:
PRO TIP: Presidentin’ While Black isn’t really illegal, nor is Unabated Malevolent Unabateding.
is being picky. The bar has been considerably lowered.
I’m of the opinion that if we give these yahoos enough time, they might (by a commodious vicus of recirculation back) accidentally write Finnegans Wake.
How can they get him if he takes the Fifth???
A “high crime” does not require criminal behavior! NEAT!
Ooh, I know, it’s actually a typo for “nigh crime.” Or, more likely, “nig crime,” which is doubly good because 3/5 is really pretty high.
“how long should we sit back and permit Barack Hussein Obama to rip apart the fabric of this country before we take action?” “We must rally the seem-stresses of freedom in order to mend the cotton fiber that made this country great for Obamaism has torn the knees on the sweatpants of America and we cannot let this stand, or kneel comfortably for that matter.”
“if we give these yahoos enough time, they might (by a commodious vicus of recirculation back) accidentally write Finnegans Wake.”
We already wrote that. All the scholarly critiques too.
“POOP”
And that, we wrote that.
Anyhoo, impeach away, motherfucker, if you can get congress to do it. Even if you could get it to a vote, which I doubt, you don’t have the numbers to win. Pretty hilarious you think Obama deserves it while Bush, whose administration violated the first, fourth, and fifth at least, didn’t. Asshole.
From the Impeach Obama website:
And the time will be right when, say, the RNC or Regnery Publishing looks to pad its mailing list and comes around with a big fat check.
I’m honestly surprised that this domain wasn’t registered the second Obama won the primaries.
Ha ha, because it’s a rac… oh wow, that’s awful.
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/price/091012
October 12, 2009
Is the GOP hungry for discipline?
By Kevin Price
I always suspected, but now the truth can be told.
…all you have to do to join our growing network of patriotic Americans is add your name (which will remain on our secure form and be kept in the strictest confidence until the time is right)
…well, I added a name (sort of – not, I admit, a nice one)
Is the GOP hungry for discipline?
Just let me put the spurs on my thigh high boots and get the cat o’ nine tails because the GOP has been very, very naughty.
Shalom, gentlemen.
So, your comrade in chief B. Hussien Obama won the nobel peace prize by accomplishing what exactly? By pandering to the mullahs in Iran and the terrorists in the PLA, and stabbing our Israeli allies in the back.
Thanks to comrade Obama the world is a much more dangerous place. Iran has not stopped their development of nuclear weapons and no harshly worded letter from the UN Security Council is going to stop them.
As I’ve mentioned here before, training and arming pro-democracy guerrillas by the CIA and the Mossad would have been the most effective course of action for the West to take to topple the Iranian regime. But now thanks to our comrade in chief that is probably no longer an option. Let’s face it, Obama is not going to do anything. Based upon last month’s speech at the UN General Assembly it appears that the British and French have the testicular fortitude to military action against the mullahs.
A combined British/French/Israeli invasion should be enough to topple the Iranian regime and disarm their nuclear weapons program.
I know I haven’t been here for a while, and I appreciate the work of my many impersonaters and admirers who whether sincerely or out of strife have helped spread my conservative message here at SN.
…testicular fortitude
…most easily assessed by a good swift kick
Izzat some kinda crazy monkey-talk for “USA KICKS ASS” or what?
Keep fucking that chicken, Saul!
https://fs7.formsite.com/C4Strategies/form196521176/secure_index.html
[In case you were wondering]
ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT
Article I
unlawfully exercised the authority of his office to take private property for public use in violation of the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution, which guarantees to the People that “private property shall not be taken for public use without just compensation,” and without “due process of law”;
unlawfully interfered with the management of private companies for the purpose of achieving government control of them, in violation of the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution.
unlawfully interfered with the economic rights of the People by imposing unreasonable impairments in the fulfillment of their intended contractual obligations, and their ability to enter into such contracts, and attempting to change our fundamental economic system, where there is no significant or legitimate public purpose to do so.
Article II
unlawfully engaged in a conspiracy to suppress evidence of the true place of his birth. This obstruction of justice has resulted in a violation of the Constitutional provision that a President of the United States must be a natural born citizen.
unlawfully refused his assent to the Laws of the United States, and exercised false powers of veto that are contrary to Constitution.
Christ on a pogo stick! “Israeli allies?!” Are you talking about the Zionist army that invaded and occupied Palestine 60 years ago and has been poisoning the well of our foreign policy ever since, while we pour untold billions into maintaining their occupation? Those “allies?” With allies like that, who fucking needs enemies?
And I guess you missed the agreement Obama secured from the Iranians to have most of their spent fuel reprocessed by a third party? Something no amount of belligerent threats from you idiots has ever accomplished—as if trying to keep anyone from acquiring 65-year-old technology wasn’t a fool’s errand to begin with. If anybody wants nuclear weapons, they can have them. Stop threatening to attack them all the time and maybe they won’t feel like they need them.
He didn’t kick you in the nuts Saul which is more restraint than I would have had.
Have you bought Glenn Beck’s book yet, “How to Make Money By Selling Crap to Idiots!” I think its right down your alley.
A combined British/French/Israeli invasion should be enough to topple the Iranian regime and disarm their nuclear weapons program.
Yeah! Remember how great that worked at the Suez Canal?
I call False Saul.
Are all the people involved in this impeachment crusade impeared?
Obama should get his knob sucked by a chubby white intern, and then cheerfully confess to it under oath. It would be worth it just to watch the wingnuts explode.
“Article II
unlawfully engaged in a conspiracy to suppress evidence of the true place of his birth. This obstruction of justice has resulted in a violation of the Constitutional provision that a President of the United States must be a natural born citizen.
unlawfully refused his assent to the Laws of the United States, and exercised false powers of veto that are contrary to Constitution.”
The primary, but certainly not the only reason why your comrade in chief should be impeached. I seem to remember widespread public outrage from the left in 2000 when the liberal media acting as the DNC’s mouthpiece accused Bush of stealing the election. Why not the same outrage when Obama circumvents the constitution about by lying and indeed surppressing evidence of his birth place?
Apparently discarding the Constitution is ok when it helps further the far left agenda.
Geez, Saul.
Is a rehash of this week’s Mallard Fillmore the best you can do?
You should, at least, aspire to the level of wit of, say, Prickly City.
(all that other stuff is just filler)
Real Saul would always wait for the Sadly, No! congregants to respond to his “shalom” before letting loose.
impeachobamacampaign.com, exposeobama.com. Both are run by Floyd Brown and James Lacy. I imagine they have some other sites out there as well.
Seriously, anybody who thinks Obama represents any kind of “left” agenda, never mind “FAR left” is too brain-damaged to bother addressing. I’m glad my first comment got eaten now.
What kind of a moron thinks a speech at the UN has anything to do whether a country is willing to go to war or not? It is never more than posturing and empty words, which voters never listen to anyway.
Neither Britain nor France are going to invade Iran. Israel might, because they are crazy motherfuckers at the best of times, but they probably know better than to shit on their own doorstep.
Hey, it’s that rabbi who thinks the sabbath ends at midnight!
How the fuck are ya, Saul?
I call False Saul.
As in, “False-Saul-la-ti-do.”
Is that the real Saul? Sounds like it!
Anyway, having the CIA topple an Iranian regime worked out really well last time we did it, didn’t it? I know, we’ll bring in some wingnut neo-con Iranian ex-pat and make him the leader. All we need is a snappy title…. hmmm, how about “Shah”? Sure, that’s it!
I’m sure the 66 million citizens will love it, and throw chocolates and kisses to our victorious hordes of Christian soldiers.
Here’s another one by the same gang: thewhitehousewatch.com.
I’m very excited to see exposeobama.com is sponsoring a Caribbean cruise in January. You can meet Alan Keyes and none other than Gary Kreep!
One word: Ossirak. Any government capable of a lunatic action like that is capable of anything.
AND any other country who committed such an act would have been wiped off the face of the earth immediately, probably by us.
The Zionist occupation of Palestine has been poisoning the well of international relations for 61 years now; it’s time to put an end to it. Give the Palestinians 3/4 of their country back, and if they’re still murdering women and children, supposedly fighting a war they won 80 years ago like the IRA was until recently, then will be plenty of time to call them unreasonable.
Of course, the Angevins have been gone from Sicily for 700 years and the Mafia is still going strong, so it might not work, but it’s worth a try.
Adherents are known as Funicellists.
Cellos are no fun.
Rev: Zionism is such a crock of shit. I mean, what is the point? to cram as many jews into a tiny area as possible? Like, concentrate them into one spot? Didn’t somebody already try that?
It should have been pretty obvious from the start that Israel wasn’t going to be content with the borders drawn up in the 40s. And really, that is all they really have any legitimate claim to.
However insane their leadership may be, I think on some level, they are well aware that having the Americans on their side doesn’t mean what it used to.
A theocracy by any other name, still stinks just as bad.
Real Saul would always wait for the Sadly, No! congregants to respond to his “shalom” before letting loose.
I, for one, am distressed by the low quality of the Saul faux troll product.
~
Cellos are no fun.
You wrap your legs and arms around it and stroke it into moans. If that’s not your idea of fun, well sir there is no hope for you.
Cellos are no fun.
You wrap your legs and arms around it and stroke it into moans. If that’s not your idea of fun, well sir there is no hope for you.
You’ve identified the problem. When I stroke one it screams off-key. If I wanted that result, I’d simply use my small-talk on women.
I, for one, am distressed by the low quality of the Saul faux troll product.
(Faux?) Distressed Troll is distressing.
Never mind the silly troll, whether it’s real Saul, faux-Saul or Pine-Sol. I know this has been awhile, but earlier this afternoon there was a concern troll going on about Ralph Nader, which I thought was awfully quaint. Then, I’m on my way home, and NPR comes on with a story about Ralphies new book!
Yes, everybody’s favorite loveable-loser/crazy uncle/deranged professor in now novelist!
(Faux?) Distressed Troll
A faux troll is one painted with to resemble the texture of a real troll. A distressed troll is one hit lightly with chains to increase its apparent age. A faux distressed troll is beaten after painting.
Every time I see that Mustache, I want to have Matt Taibbi’s babies.
a work of fiction called “A Practical Utopia: Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us”
Didn’t Ayn Rand write this some time ago?
“A Practical Utopia: Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us,” in which some of the country’s richest people, including Warren Buffett, George Soros, Ted Turner, Ross Perot, Barry Diller, Bill Cosby, Paul Newman, Warren Beatty and Yoko Ono, hold secret meetings in Maui and plot the wholesale reform of American society, from the air we breathe to the national anthem we sing, which they would like to be “America the Beautiful.”
Lemme guess. And the richy-rich folks need a nerdy, rumpled former consumer advocate to lead this new society, right?
Didn’t Ayn Rand write this some time ago?
Rand was writing nonfiction. Her keen grasp of how the real world actually works, how real people relate to one another on both a personal and collective level, proved too great of a hurdle for her.
Heh.
Heh.
Also.
Row Row Fight The Powah
I think it’s supposed to be some kind of literary opposite of Atlas Shrugged. Like, the business tycoons join forces to save society, as opposed to abandoning it, “going Galt”. Maybe he should have made this clearer, by calling it Atlas Hugged or something.
Also, he could write under the name “Ain’t Rand”, also.
A faux troll is one painted with to resemble the texture of a real troll.
Also known as trollpe l’oeil.
Well, I wanted to jot down the new lyric for “Mean Mr. Moustache” but I don’t feel up to the task right now.
Wow, though. The Moustache of Underwhelming has really taken one more giant step across the border into crazytown, hasn’t he?
Also known as trollpe l’oeil.
That don’t sound ‘merican.
Unless it’s pronounced “troll-pee-louie” in which case it’s hee-larious.
NPR’s review is pretty scathing–and funny!
Row Row Fight The Powah
Damn, that’s some messed up video. Kind of cute for the first 5 seconds or so, but infortunately, it went on for 3 whole minutes.
It’s like something the Teletubbies might produce as fucked-up teenagers.
The Teletubbies are so 20th Century. The Inter-tubies is what the cool kids are into today.
Cellos are no fun.
Ah, come on. There’s always room for cello.
The Moustache of Underwhelming has really taken one more giant step across the border into crazytown, hasn’t he?
Really? All that peacekeeping blather & “Our boys (oh, & girls) have the purest of motives” crap is the accepted, default position for the entire Media Village, & any suggestions otherwise are tantamount to treason, if not an indication that you may be crazy.
If you think it’s crazy to be protecting a gov’t. that needs a foreign occupying force to protect it from its own people & their disinterest in democracy, well, you’re crazy, not Mustache Man.
N_B sez:
A faux troll is one painted to resemble the texture of a real troll. A distressed troll is one hit lightly with chains to increase its apparent age. A faux distressed troll is beaten after painting.
N_B knows a lot about interior design for an “engineer.”
I think Saul is a deep cover Al Qiada agent. What better cover than to use a Jewish name. Why has he never shown anyone his long form birth certificate? You can clear this up very simply Saul by hand delivering it to Sadly No! headquarters ASAP. Your failure to do so speaks volumes.
No salted earth? How will the progeny of an vanquished starve a slow horrible death, and weep for the end of their people? These liberals are so soft.
I don’t see how you can give a Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech the respects American Dominence wtihout promising to salt the earth of your enemies.
Oops, I don’t want to be an illiterate barbarian, I typed it too quick:
No salted earth? How will the progeny of the vanquished starve a slow horrible death, and weep for the end of their people? These liberals are so soft.
I don’t see how you can give a Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech that respects American Dominance without promising to salt the earth of your enemies.
PS: Also, what about blotting out the sun? And how about scorching the earth (ha! that will get them shaking in their boots, since they believe that global warming nonsense).
Anyway, good try Sadlyno, but I don’t think you have a good neocon Peace Prize acceptance speech in you.
N_B knows a lot about interior design for an “engineer.”
It’s for chatting up the chelli.
“I seem to remember widespread public outrage from the left in 2000 when the liberal media acting as the DNC’s mouthpiece accused Bush of stealing the election.”
I see what Saul’s problem is, he lives in an alternate universe, or perhaps the cultural summaries that were included with his forged passport and other documents were faulty.
Sadlynaut SomeNYGuy
fixed ma poem really good.
He made it sound like it should.
I shall send him chocolate pie.
I shall send him chocolate pie.
Oh baby, you knooooooooooooooooooooooow what I like! [/Big Bopper]
You know, I was once invited to a Cummunist party.
They talked a lot about a Buk-cake but I didn’t think it tasted very good.
Industrial parks? I thought Tommy’s wife owned shopping malls.
Is that bruning straw I smell
The Origin of the Straw Brunists. Also.
You know, the first time I saw that word I assumed it was Norwegian, on the model of julekake or krumkake. True story.
So as it turns out, Obama has declared that Bush’s 1,200 signing statements could be ignored, and his own signing statements are generally based on sound interpretations of constitutional law, rather than that “Unitary Executive” garbage. And he’s signed executive orders requiring Guantanamo to be closed by January, for detainees to have trials/tribunals, and to ban the use of torture. Now, of course I would like him to order investigations and prosecutions and all that stuff, and I am disappointed he hasn’t, and that Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld et al will probably never have to stand trial in The Hague, but as Steerpike said, it wasn’t an election between Obama and Perfect; it was an election between Obama and McCain.
This is Rush at his most soft and spoiled.
http://alllayedout.com/Images/Funny_Pics/graphics/why_fat_people_should_not_bungee_jump.jpg
I saw an exhibition of that photographer’s work once but to my shame, I cannot remember his name.
Is that bruning straw I smell
Straws! Is there nothing they can’t do?
Not only can you (1) cling to them; (2) break camels’ backs with them; (3) hide needles amongst them; and (4) knock down a straw man, but
(4) you can brun them in a MANGLED CLICHE FAIL, as an act of hommage to Friedman.
I love the smell of brunning straw in the morning.
gocart — you do need to distinguish Floyd Brown from Floyd Abrams. Abrams is a venerable first-amendment lawyer, one of the good guys.
Shit you’re right SqueakyRat. The web site said Floyd Brown but I had a brain fart when I wrote my insane rant. My sincerest apologies to the renowned 1st Am attorney Floyd Abrams of the ACLU.
[corrected rant]
Floyd BROWN [absolutely not Floyd Abrams who is a good guy, very sorry] is a seriously maladjusted imbecile with the emotional maturity of a spoiled 6-year old boy who throws a temper tantrum in the Toys R Us if mom won’t buy him another talking Shrek doll because he “accidently” lodged the last one up his ass trying to gross out his sister. The guy hates America, hates democracy and hates the truth. He is a festering slug of a sorry excuse for a human being who should crawl back under that dung-heap from whence he came. Fuck him. Fuck him twice with a hard bound edition of Glenn Beck’s Magum Opus “How to Sell Books to Idiots” or whatever the hell its called.
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™