Shorter Michael Gerson

Losing the Latino Vote

  • Latinos are becoming such a large bloc of voters that we can’t routinely insult them like we do to blacks, gays, Muslims and other undesirables. We have to pretend we (gulp) actually like them.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 296

 
 
 

FIRST!

Will someone PLEASE enlighten me: what is with this D-Bag’s HAIR?

 
 

The horror…the horror.

 
 

Michael Gerson and Bill Kristol.

Way to freshen up your frothy mix of Krauthammer and G. Eff Will, WaPoo!
~

 
 

It’s so unfair that conservative voices don’t get their fair share of newspaper space. Clearly, the media has a liberal bias.

 
 

Sob! Why don’t the dirty messicans like us when we’re racist, bigoted and nasty? Not fair!

 
 

The fact is, Latinos are stupid to vote for Democraps. They are, like all Americans, better served by limited government, free-market based solutions that include God.

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

 
 

The fact is, I wish all the liberals in the USA would die. Then we could have freedom and their property would be forfiet and used for good causes.

 
 

Actually, Brad, a better shorter might have been “If we’d only stop calling them spics, they might learn to like us.”

 
 

The fact is, I wish all the liberals in the USA would die.

Then you’d have the Nazi Germany you’ve dreamed of!

Beeg SHMILE! Beeg SHMILE! Beeg SHMILE!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

their property would be forfiet and used for good causes.

Nationalizing property? With an attitude like that, you’ll be killed too.

 
 

Also. Shorter. People, please remember the Southern Strategy is not all purpose.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

According to Gerson, some conservatives consider it cynical not to demonize Hispanics.

 
 

Gerson:

In fact, it is a moral achievement of democracy that it eventually forces political parties to appeal to minorities and outsiders instead of demonizing them. The scramble for votes, in the long run, requires inclusion.

So the point of democracy is to get people to vote for you, holding your nose if they happen to be brown or stinky.

Nothing in there about the point of democracy is for those people to be able to elect people to represent them, and therefore shape their nation’s policies.

 
 

g,

I think he’s taking the realpolitick perspective, which is that a party has to adapt or die, but your note about how reluctant he seems to be to accept that within our lifetimes, white people will be a minority in this nation, and not even the plurality of the then-existing minorities, is accurate.

 
 

Yeah. Good luck with this line of argument with the base. See how well it worked out for you with Sonia Sotomayor and Mel Martinez. You can’t so easily cram the brown-hating GOP base back into the turd bottle.

 
 

With that haircut, Gerson just needs the ‘stache to look Hitler-rific.

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

October 7, 2009 at 15:51 (kill)

The fact is, I wish all the liberals in the USA would die.

We will, Gary. So will you.

Everything dies, Gary.

Wishing for it marks you as a colossal asshole though. Dr. Zaius wished humans would die, too.

 
 

Hey, anybody wanna critique my Rush-buys-the-Rams scenario? Came up with it in reply to some winguts on another site.

Rush buys Rams

Rush warned that first opponent intends to attack heavily from the air. He disregards the warning, and the Rams get hit hard.

Facing the same opponent, they’re about to get a crucial sack when they inexplicably let the qb escape.

Instead of preparing for their most dangerous opponent, Rush insists they focus instead on a team that poses no threat. He insists they have a deadly running game that must be stopped (when it turns out not to be the case, he says they lent their best running back to a neighboring team).

Rush is told by a coach that to defeat this team, he’ll need a lot deeper of a roster than he’s preparing. He sacks the coach. He also discards the massive planning folder compiled by his staff. The Rams score an early TD. Rush declares victory and starts dancing around in the owner’s box. He’s told the game is far from over, but laughs it off.

The game drags on, with the Rams unable to make headway. The players ask Rush’s addled defensive coordinator why they don’t have sufficient equipment, he says ‘you come to play with the shoulder pads you have, not the shoulder pads you wish you had.’

Meanwhile, it turns out all the concession stands were awarded to Rush’s buddies, who overcharge massively, and two trucks’ worth of hotdogs goes missing with no explanation.

Anybody who tries to point out reality is called a Defeat-o-Ram by Rush and his sycophants. Late in the game, things improve a little when Rush pays key players on the opposing team to stay on the sidelines. But, in response to those who suggest he go down the field and spend some time there if he thinks the game’s going so rosily, Rush is mum (he did venture down for a play or two in the third quarter, but only with a massive security escort).

Rush tries in the end to bring in a new coach from the University of Alaska, but the fans reject her. They say she makes Georgia Frontiere look like a genius.

 
 

So… when Republicans are overtly racist against Hispanics… Hispanics don’t vote for Republicans. How profound. I take it that Gerson graduated from the John Madden School of Journalism?

Next week’s column: “To win seats in 2010, Republican candidates need to get more votes than Democrats.”

 
 

The fact is, I wish all the liberals in the USA would die.

Yeah? You know who ELSE wanted liberals to die? Pretty much the entire GØP, that’s who!

 
 

And HITLER!

HAH!

 
The Goddamn Batman Never Let Go Of Synthpop
 

She blinded me with science!

 
 

Rush tries in the end to bring in a new coach from the University of Alaska, but the fans reject her. They say she makes Georgia Frontiere look like a genius.

“Last game of the year, Brent, can’t hold anything back now.”

 
 

Good news, Republicans. Marco Rubio is so pretty!

 
 

I guess that whole “Permanent Republican Majority” thing is gonna take a little more work than y’all first thought, eh Gerty?

 
 

Losing Latino votes? Someone is being a bit optimistic, methinks.

 
 

Alternate Gerson shorter: If ya can’t deport them, ya gotta court them.

 
 

The Goddamn Batman Never Let Go Of Synthpop

That explains the goddam cape.

 
 

Meh. This whole thing is just funny. The party who built their platform on “we have to build a fence..no, a WALL to keep out the dirty Mexicans!” and “Learn the language, filthy brown people!” is now saying they must win Latino votes.

The best part is the logic: “Well, we can’t out breed them, so I guess we should make friends. We still want to keep them on the other side of the fence and force them to speak English, though!”

Heh, I accidentally posted this on the potato thread.

 
 

I guess that whole “Permanent Republican Majority” thing is gonna take a little more work than y’all first thought, eh Gerty?

Yeah, that “Permanent Republican Majority” that lasted all of 4 years.

Even Hitler’s “Thousand-Year Reich” lasted longer than that, and he wasn’t claiming it would last to infinity.

Ergo, Karl Rove is worse than Hitler (even tho he spells his name the Nazi way).

 
 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Hear that, Obots? That’s the sound of your precious Messiah going down on flames, now that a feminist blogger has discovered that your misogynist pal, Bill Ayers, wrote the zerO’s book. Maybe you should have listened to us last summer. Maybe you should have realized that Obama was the wrong choice for True Blue Reagan Democrats and Appalachian Bubba voters. Actually, it is my belief that you really did believe this to your core and instead of accepting it, decided to lash out at Hillary voters like myself and others, trying to compensate for the zerO’s pathetic failings. Tick. Tock. Walk. Walk. Hear that, Obots? That’s the sound of millions of Hillary voters walking away from your Corrupt Party.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Someone going down in flames sounds like a grandfather clock?

 
 

That’s the sound of your precious Messiah going down on flames

Funny, his approval ratings ticked up, as did support for healthcare reform. Sounds like he’s back on top…

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Wait, it’s the sound of someone going down ON flames. My bad.

 
 

Maybe you should have realized that Obama was the wrong choice for True Blue Reagan Democrats and Appalachian Bubba voters.

Snip, snip, snip. Hear that, moron? That’s the sound of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Maybe instead of insisting that we should cater to the whims of the most conservative factions of possible Democrat voters, guaranteeing that the country will shift ever rightward, you should wake up and smell the fucking coffee. Drip, drip, drip. Hear that, moron? That’s the sound of the fucking coffee.

 
 

The Backyard Potato is a feminist?

 
 

My bad.

No, not really.

 
 

The grandfather clock going down in flames is now up 6%, and that’s an average which includes the most ridiculous, right wing, backwards, begging for aid section of the country, the South.

 
 

Maybe you should have realized that Obama was the wrong choice for True Blue Reagan Democrats and Appalachian Bubba voters.

Which explains why Obama lost the election last year. Oh wait.

Tick. Tock. Walk. Walk. Hear that, Obots? That’s the sound of millions of Hillary voters walking away from your Corrupt Party.

Towards a More Corrupt Party?

Teh Puma, it failed.

 
 

The fact is, I wish all the liberals in the USA would die.

There’s wishing, and then there’s getting off your duff and actually doing it. Face it, Gary, us liberals aren’t gonna kill ourselfs.

Of course, that would require you to possess the courage of your convictions, and you don’t so I’ll remind you that attempts to make your dream come true will be met with more resistance than you have ever imagined facing.

In other words, put up or shut up you gigantic wimp.

 
 

Tick. Tock. Walk. Walk.

I got that book for my five-year old a while back. Strangely, he didn’t take to it.

 
 

Oh no! A Deceptican! Obots, unite and form MEGALIBERAL!

 
 

now that a feminist blogger has discovered that your misogynist pal, Bill Ayers, wrote the zerO’s book.

My god. It’s full of fail!

I can see it now, a conservative feminist blogger with the IQ of a turnip seed is going to turn the entire Obama machine on its head.

That’s after he barely lost a struggle with the Birfers, Deathers, and all of Fox News.

Oh wait. That’s right. He actually kicked all y’all’s asses squarely and this is the best you have.

You’re a joke!

 
 

Just you libs wait ’til that Whitey video comes out. Then you’ll be sorry.

 
 

Mel Martinez’s recent resignation from the U.S. Senate was for personal and family reasons.

Yes, he personally hates the Republicans now and his family said he needed to get the hell out of there. Great dodge, Michael Gerson!

 
 

The now well-known Fact(R) that Ayers wrote the book will soon be found in an Orly Taitz legal brief.

You heard it here first.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Seems like the sound of someone going down on flames would be more along the lines of “GAAAAH!!! MY LIPS!!!!”

 
 

Just you libs wait ’til that Whitey video comes out. Then you’ll be sorry.

It’s coming out by Thursday at 3:00 a.m. Keep hitting the refresh button on your browser.

(By the way…whatever happened to me?)

 
 

Larry Johnson said

(By the way…whatever happened to me?)

You disappeared after impregnating Trip Palin.

 
 

Teh Puma, it failed.

Heh, so it did. I was just reminiscing about one particularly impatient ratfucker who managed to string along a couple of anti-Obama pouters in some lefty blog comment section. Once it figured it had their allegiance, it started with all the guff about how horrible liberals were. I pointed out it was a bit early to be playing that card.

This was at the height of Rush’s megafail Operation Cheetos Chaos. Wotta buncha goofballs.

 
 

Larry Johnson said

(By the way…whatever happened to me?)

Sued into oblivion by the Three Stooges Legal Team for Haircut Infringement.

 
 

(By the way…whatever happened to me?)

Well,
If you must know, go here
Eye bleach will take care of your eyes, but the stain on your soul and your browser will last forever.

 
 

Now now, some of us Hilbots really WERE liberals…

 
 

Larry Johnson said,

(By the way…whatever happened to me?)

You were demoted to Junior Analyst Flowbee. You’re currently amongst the raucous chorus of assholes who are making cheap shots at the President, but otherwise nobody gives a ripe fuck what you think.

 
 

Now now, some of us Hilbots really WERE liberals…

Exactly – that’s why I let the ratfucker know it had been spotted.

Pardon my not being clear.

 
 

From that link to Agent Flowbee n’Pals:

I tell you who I would rather see. While the Obamas and their pal, Oprah, you know, the one who anointed Obama as The One, were wasting our tax dollars on a trip no other president has made EVER, there was someone who was hard at work for the country. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, of course, as the photos* below make clear.

Wow. They’re still at it. Awesome.

 
Progressive Voice
 

For being supposedly so marginalized, Obama sure hasn’t done much these past nine months. Well, except making Olympia Snowe his health care Czar and giving billions in taxpayer money to Wall St.

Bush’s third term? We’re living it, folks!

http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175109/david_swanson_the_more_things_change

You’ve been had by slick marketing,

 
 

That’s an excellent Iris impersonation. So good, in fact, one wonders < title = “ellipsis” type = “ominous” >

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I’m becoming more and more convinced that Obama really is the Messiah. He is apparently performing the miracle of leading us willy-nilly towards a socialist dystopia while simultaneously being utterly unable to accomplish anything.

 
 

I’m becoming more and more convinced that Obama really is the Messiah.

I’ll believe that when he somehow mangles to stumble hs way to making Kwanzaa a national holiday.

 
 

he somehow mangles to stumble hs way to making Kwanzaa a national holiday

I remember that episode of F Troop. Rourke hit Egar with his hat.

 
Progressive Voice
 

I’m becoming more and more convinced that Obama really is the Messiah. He is apparently performing the miracle of leading us willy-nilly towards a socialist dystopia while simultaneously being utterly unable to accomplish anything.

The fact that the right wing can say that Obama is a left wing socialist and convince a good portion of the country that it is somehow true only shows how effectively the right wing in American manipulates the Overton Window, and how hapless the American left is.

 
 

I’m becoming more and more convinced that Obama really is the Messiah. He is apparently performing the miracle of leading us willy-nilly towards a socialist dystopia while simultaneously being utterly unable to accomplish anything.

Can even Obama create a socialist tyrannical goal so diabolical that even he cannot impose it?

 
Progressive Voice
 

And yes, I voted for Nader in 2000, and after seeing all the Bush-enabling Democrats over the last eight years and the Bushco Lite ™ Administration of Obama, I don’t regret it one bit. Only shows how right Nader was.

 
 

And yes, I voted for Nader in 2000

And yet he lectures us about the nation lurching to the right…

 
Progressive Voice
 

Lurching? It’s already on the right. We have Obama and the Democratic Party (the right wing) and the Republican Party (the far right wing).

 
 

Yea, you shithead and you wonder why? Because you forced Bush into office, you moronic shit-for-brains motherfucker!

Gee, thanks. I’m sure the 3,000 dead from 9/11 and the four or five thousand dead soldiers since thank your motherfucking ass a whole fucking lot, you miserable cur!

 
 

Even Karl Marx was able to recognize the importance for ordinary workers of denying the powers of bourgeois government to the most reactionary forces. Apparently Karl Marx was a fucking Obama-worshiping coward while brave Naderite internet forces say what’s what.

 
 

You’re like the motherfucking Paultards, clueless about the true political nature of this country, holding out some fairy tale hope that someone like Paul or Nader will swoop in and change things.

GROW THE FUCK UP, moron! Nader is as powerless AND corrupt as Paul as the Dems and the Republicans and you swallowed his load of cum without even fucking flinching!

 
 

And yes, I voted for Nader in 2000

Halliburton thanks you for your vote.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Gee, thanks. I’m sure the 3,000 dead from 9/11 and the four or five thousand dead soldiers since thank your motherfucking ass a whole fucking lot, you miserable cur!

Gore ran as a right winger in 2000, too. I have no doubt he would have invaded Iraq as well (and he would have, without a doubt, supported the imperialist rape of Afghanistan), Remember, the official policy of the Clinton-Gore Administration was “regime change”, they also spread the lie about WMDs, they also endorsed the criminal sanctions against the Iraqi people and so on. Gore and Bush were two peas in a pod.

 
Progressive Voice
 

But go on, keep supporting a President who is trashing an entire third world nation for an oil pipeline, who has given billions and billions to Wall St., who is building a giant embassy in Iraq and still refuses to withdraw, who is about to pass a “health care” bill that is nothing but corporate welfare for the health care industry, who supports the Military-Industrial Complex, who keeps open secret prisons where people are tortured as we speak, who will not investigate the crimes against humanity carried about by the last administration, and so on.

I’d expect nothing else from the other wing of the Property Party, who said impeachment was “off the table” for Bush and Cheney. Keep voting for that party, fools.

 
 

Gore and Bush were two peas in a pod.

The last time I heard that argument was just after the 2004 election, when I was lectured by a pile of dogshit about how it didn’t matter that Bush won again and that it hadn’t mattered in 2000.

I thought talking piles of dogshit were a temporary phenomenon, but apparently they’re always with us.

 
 

Gore and Bush were two peas in a pod.

You could tell by their positions on the environment.

 
 

And yes, I voted for Nader in 2000, and after seeing all the Bush-enabling Democrats…

That’s real rich for a Naderhead to accuse anybody of being a Bush-enabler. Just sayin’.

 
 

Gore and Bush were two peas in a pod.

Umm, no.

Gore is competent.

 
 

Gore ran as a right winger in 2000, too. I have no doubt he would have invaded Iraq as well

Somebody needs to get clocked in their junk.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Ralph Nader: the Sarah Palin of the left.

 
Progressive Voice
 

The last time I heard that argument was just after the 2004 election, when I was lectured by a pile of dogshit about how it didn’t matter that Bush won again and that it hadn’t mattered in 2000.

And it doesn’t matter that Obama won in 2008. The corporate class loves him. He’s a pretty new brown face on the same old imperial capitalism. He loves the Afghanistan War, he is continuing the occupation of Iraq (and the construction of the huge embassy there). He is giving billions to Wall St. and is about to give billions to the health care industry. He won’t close the secret prisons, won’t cut military spending, won’t investigate the crimes of Bushco, and so on. Again: Bush’s third term? You’re living it!

 
Progressive Voice
 

Seriously, you guys should have waken the fuck up when Nancy Pelosi said impeachment was “off the table” in 2006.

 
 

This guy is fuckin’ dull. Can we have some more Iris?

 
 

I agree. Genocidal Troll was fun too.

 
 

I mean, I get it. You’re the Purest Leftist in the entire Unicorn Kingdom and the rest of us rubes and saps just haven’t taken the blue pill (or the red pill, I never saw The Matrix). Congratulations! You’re Awesome!

So if you’re so righteously angry, why don’t you go do something about it, maybe find some third-party candidates who aren’t hacks (Nader) or nutballs (McKinney) or sociopaths (Paul), actually develop a platform instead of flailing and screeching about how imperialists drank your milkshake, and get some shit done?

 
Progressively Stupider Voice
 

And it doesn’t matter that Obama won in 2008.

Nope. Nothing’s changing at all. We still aren’t having a national debate on healthcare reform, banking regulations aren’t about to change, and WOOHOO! RIO IS HOSTING THE OLYMPICS!

Also, I can shut the fuck up now because I have no idea what I’m talking about.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Woken.

There’s no excuse for improper English when you’re attempting to politically slut-shame a comment board.

By the way, what’s Nader done recently? Nothing? Shock.

It’s very simple to pretend to know how an alternate universe would’ve gone when you know in your heart that the side you backed never had a fucking chance, isn’t it.

So I’ll put it to you this way. If Nader had won the electoral college in 2000, he would’ve invaded Afghanistan and most likely Iraq.

Because he’s a political whore as well. So sad.

 
Progressive Voice
 

actually develop a platform instead of flailing and screeching about how imperialists drank your milkshake, and get some shit done?

Wow, “getting stuff done”. That’s rich coming from an Obama cultist.

 
 

No, “get some shit done”. I said “shit”, sir.

 
Progressive Voice
 

So I’ll put it to you this way. If Nader had won the electoral college in 2000, he would’ve invaded Afghanistan and most likely Iraq.

No, he wouldn’t have. Unlike Gore, he wasn’t part of an administration that perpetuated the WMD lie or endorsed sanctions and air strikes against the Iraqi people, or whose official policy towards Iraq was “regime change”.

See, unlike you, my arguments have basis in fact.

 
 

See, this is why I mostly stay out of the Sadly, Comment threads these days. The regulars are mostly good eggs, but the near constant droning of dreary trolls (and even worse, unfunny parody trolls) and their enablers is enough to drive a man to sobriety.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Just answer this one question, cultists:

Why aren’t Bush and Cheney before the Hague for crimes against humanity, or at least being investigated?

Maybe it’s because Nader and McKinney are right, and Obama is just an Uncle Tom for the corporate power? Nahhh…couldn’t be. He talked about “hope and change”, after all! Idiots.

 
 

Look, this isn’t that hard, but suffice to say that American politics today is pretty much a football game on a rainy day–a struggle between two teams slogging it out on muddy turf. For better or for worse, that’s what we’ve got.

So if you care about progressive causes, you pick the team that isn’t totally bought off and stack it with players that know the game but also share your core values. In other words, field good candidates, work your ass off to get them elected, and hope for the best.

Or you can sit on the sidelines sucking your thumbs and clutching your purity blanket, scoffing at all the “dirty” politicians on the field.

But go ahead and keep telling yourself that Al Gore would have invaded Iraq and opened up Gitmo too. Also. I’m sure correntewire or some of the dead-enders that post on Talkleft have cookies for you.

 
 

So if you care about progressive causes, you pick the team that isn’t totally bought off

Unless you’re too fucking stupid to distinguish between a center-right party like the Dems and a right-wing cult like the Reps. And look! I’ve just defined our troll.

 
 

Uh, this guy is a blatant troll. Is it really necessary to feed him?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Bill Ayres ghostwrote Unsafe at Any Speed

 
 

Address my post, Cultists!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

See, unlike you, my arguments have basis in fact.

No, no. Yours are alternate reality fiction. Sorry, Gore didn’t invade Afghanistan and Iraq in this universe. So, there are no facts for your argument. Not to say there weren’t some dick moves on the behalf of the Clinton administration, but y’know, we managed to have eight years under them were we didn’t invade and unseat Saddam Hussein. Their plan seemed to have settled upon ‘containment’ theory, which was, y’know working.

And in the next alternate reality over, Ralph Nader had to staff his executive branch with someone other than dipsticks on the Internet, and given the “center-right” Democrats were more likely to bend their votes to him than the Republicans, which would be the only possible way he’d get enough votes to win the electoral college to win the Presidency (as the actual vote totals for the Reform party in this universe showed), those same Democrats interested in regime change would be on his cabinet, and most likely would still have had a bunch of seats in Congress with which to influence the executive branch’s decisions.

That’s not even getting into the Republicans that would lead a war charge anyway. They certainly seemed to rally together rather quickly under our actual universe’s version of events.

So, basically, Nader goes to war with Afghanistan because of 9/11, gets dragged along into Iraq by the developing political climate of 2001-2003, and he’s a whore and eventually goes along with it because he wants to get re-elected.

It must be so sad when the only way you can justify yourself is on the multiple-worlds hypothesis which also at the same exact time refutes your entire argument that your guy would’ve done any better.

 
 

Who says I’m dumb?!

 
 

I think Djur’s upset that Nader was brought up and I barely responded.

 
 

Will someone PLEASE enlighten me: what is with this D-Bag’s HAIR?

It’s trying to escape, and can you blame it?

 
 

Agarn said,

Who says I’m dumb?!

Ralph Nader.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Who says I’m dumb?!

Is this where we do the quick transition where you show up in a lady’s dress?

 
 

Can you imagine having to look at Ralph Nader on the television for eight years?

Yeesh.

 
 

If the trolls don’t shut up I’ll have to sic my hot ex-CIA ex-stripper wife on them because my multi-million dollar small engineering business doesn’t afford me the time to demonstrate my super kung-fu techniques directly.

 
Progressive Voice
 

So, basically, Nader goes to war with Afghanistan because of 9/11

Nader wouldn’t have let 9/11 happen like Bush did. He had no reason to whip up public hysteria so he can have carte blanche to invade a third world country for an oil pipeline.

 
Progressive Voice
 

So, what has Obascamco accomplished, exactly? I mean other than the billions for Wall St., the continued occupation of Iraq, amnesty for Bushco, and running a slick marketing operation that convinced a bunch of impressionable young “progressives” that he represented a real break from Bushco?

 
 

I once believed Nader in 2000 when he said he was running in order to build up a nation-wide Green Party, and he’d stay 100% committed to that task no matter what the election results were. Ha, was I stupid. Thankfully, I was in a completely Republican dominated state so my vote didn’t get significantly wasted. Lying jerk.

 
 

You know this guy is just Troofus, right?

 
 

MICHALE GRESHWINS TONSORIAL TRUAMA SHOWS THE CHARATERESTICS OF REPEATED PUNATIVE FACE GANAWING BY TEH FUCHING FERRETS. TEH FUCHING FERRETS HAVE IDENTEFIED ALL THE MORE EASILY PURSUEDED RIGHT WING PERSONALITIES ROUNDED UP IN THERE POAST ELECTION CHEETOSE AND MOUNTAIN DEW COUPON SCAM OF 2008 AND INTERRED IN THEIR GUANTANAMERA CAMP OPERATING OUT OF THE TWO CHEEPEST MOTELS IN RANTOUL ILLINOS. THESE WEEK SISTERS HAVE BEEN CONVERTED TO THE FERRETIST CUASE AND ARE WRITING COLUNMS TO INDOCTRANATE THE COUNTRY AND EASE THE WAY FOR THERE TAKEOVER. GERSHWIN IS ATTEMPTING REVERSE PYSCOLLEGEY BY TAKING A POSITION CONTRARY TO HIS EARLIER CONSERVATIVE WRITINGS. HE CAN THEN MORE EASILY CONVINCE FELLOW CONSERVATIVES THAT THE FUCHING FERRET IS ACTUALLY THE SECOND COMING OF AYN RAND. TEH FUCHING FERRETS HAVE NO INTEREST IN CONSERVATISM AS THIS IS ONLY A ROUXS TO INTERN MORE FOLLOWERS OF SARA PALING AND EVENTUELLY GIVE ALL OF THEM THERE BUCKWHEATS.

 
 

Poor troll. He was hoping for a pony.

 
 

Okay, now it’s a party!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Nader wouldn’t have let 9/11 happen like Bush did.

Show me a fact for that. Why *wouldn’t* he have let it happen? You’re already proposing Gore would’ve invaded both countries because… stuff, so why not Nader? What, Nader’s too good for oil?

For someone talking a bunch of shit about cultists, you sure seem to believe Nader was a unblemished prophet out from the wilderness.

 
 

Golf-clap for Lonny Martello. A fine piece of trollery.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

You know this guy is just Troofus, right?

Yeah, I know. That’s why I don’t take St. out of my name.

I assume the real Penelope Purehearts that won’t even talk back to the trolls are equally ignoring me, but it’s rather fun to kick him around when he’s pretending to be more leftist than thou instead of his usual right-wing schtick.

 
Progressive Voice
 

What has Obama done?

 
 

I love how Naderites labor under the illusion that if Ralph became president, he wouldn’t have to deal with intransigent political forces like Republicans, Blue Dog Democrats, pressure and interest groups. He would just waltz into the Oval Office and get shit done because he’s like, you know, magic and stuff.

Hate to break it to you, but I went to the polling place and voted for Obama the Politician, not Obama the Messiah. I don’t know the second guy.

To be called a cultist by a Naderite has got to be seven kinds of chutzpah at the very least.

 
 

free-market based solutions that include God.

I think I’m in love. It would totally explain why the hand is invisible.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Thankfully, I was in a completely Republican dominated state so my vote didn’t get significantly wasted. Lying jerk.

My luck was I was a year too young to legally vote, so my personal opinion that allowing Joseph Lieberman anywhere near the executive branch was purest folly was safely irrelevant to the election results of my state.

Being a resident of Florida, that was a giant bullet dodged. By November 2001, I was safely disabused of the notion that nothing was to be gained from voting pragmatically instead of out of some ideological purity protest.

 
 

Blessed are the moneychangers, for they have set up tables outside the Temple, which is super-convenient.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

What has Obama done?

What has Nader or McKinney done.

 
 

Oh wait, Progressive Voice is actually Troofie? Aw shit, I wasted a decent reply on that shmendrik.

 
 

You tell ’em, Lonny!

 
 

Hooray for Lonny Martello! I wants me some buckwheats.

 
 

#

Progressive Voice said,

October 7, 2009 at 19:29 (kill)

What has Obama done?

He’s been having the sweet, sweet monkey lovin’ every night in the White Man’s House.

 
 

The Democratic and Republican parties are the same! See, Republicans voted to punish contractors which cover up gang rape, too!

Eight of them, at least.

Oh, and check these demographics: the eight Republicans who voted for the Franken amendment were Snowe, Collins, Hutchinson, Murkowski, Grassley, Lugar, Voinovich, and LeMieux. At least Republican women stop short at defending rape.

 
Progressive Voice
 

What has Nader or McKinney done

Nothing, because they don’t hold any political power. But Obama does–and what has he done with it? Nothing.

BTW, Xe (nee, Blackwater) is still getting billions in government contracts, and Obama hasn’t lifted a finger to stop it.

 
THIS KITTEH NOT IN UR PARTY BEECUZ I IZ TOO PURRRRITY
 

To be called a cultist by a Naderite has got to be seven kinds of chutzpah at the very least.

I CAN HAZ SELF AWARENESS?

 
Progressive Voice
 

But Democrats DID vote to defund ACORN. Yeah, way to show political courage, Dems! /snark

 
 

At least Republican women stop short at defending rape.

MOST of the time.

Wait till Bachmann or Mean Jean get a whack at that.

 
 

I think Djur’s upset that Nader was brought up and I barely responded.

Nothing of the sort. Fake spart trolls are just boring, that’s all. I’m genuinely glad you abstained from riding your hobby.

 
 

At least Republican women stop short at defending rape.

Boys will be boys, I guess.

 
 

Excerpted from Obama’s First 100 Days: 10 Achievements You Didn’t Know About by Sam Stein on The Huffington Post

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/29/obamas-first-100-days-10_n_192603.html

1. Health Care: The Obama White House appropriated 19 billion for a standardized medical record keeping system.

2. Transportation: Over 9 Billion spent in improvements to state transportation infrastructures, which is expected to create something in the area of 260,000 jobs.

3. Families: Treasury Department implemented a $2,500 tax credit for families to help offset the cost of college tuition. Nearly five million families are expected to save $9 billion.

4. Cars: The White House allocated $2 billion in stimulus cash for advanced batteries systems. One high-ranking Hill aide called battery technology “the next big frontier” in the automotive world, adding that if the U.S. could dominate this market it would reclaim its perch as the world’s premier car manufacturer

5. Pakistan: The administration’s diplomatic team, with a major assist from Japan, secured $5 billion in aid commitments “to bolster the country’s economy and help it fight terror and Islamic radicalism” within the country.

6.Cities: Created an office of Urban Policy in the White House. It is the Justice Department, however, that lays claim to one of the most consequential of urban affairs achievements. Through the Recovery Act, DOJ secured $2 billion for Byrne Grants, which funds anti-gang and anti-gun task forces. The money, cut during the Bush years, is expected to have massive ramifications on inner-city crime and violence.

7. Forests: The White House has put under federal protection more than two million acres of wilderness, thousands of miles of river and a host of national trails and parks. The conservation effort – the largest in the last 15 years – came with the stroke of a pen when Obama signed the Omnibus Public Land Management Act of 2009 in late March.

That was just during the first 100 days….

 
Progressive Voice
 

Spare me that silly list, Tommmcatt. That’s marginal stuff that was mostly done by Congress.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Glenn Greenwald is right, so long as Bush and Cheney are given what is essentially amnesty Obama is complicit in the Busco crimes.

 
 

OK, but APART from the forests, cities, foreign aid, Transportation, technology, health care, and the Aqueducts, what has Obama done for us?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Nothing, because they don’t hold any political power.

Well, that sounds a lot like a personal problem.

Maybe they should work on making themselves politically powerful instead of sitting on their hands waiting for dipsticks on the Internet that refuse to vote because all the parties are the same to invoke them as the Hidden Masters from which all wisdom can be gleaned.

Maybe Nader should work his way up through the government hierarchy. I’m sure there’s a state that’d elect him governor, or some legislative position.

Then his party could position themselves to put more people together, get more seats, make a viable third-party instead of just running for President every four years, getting at most 3% of a vote in a state and less than 1% across the entire nation, and then sitting on their hands contributing jack shit to the political discourse except spouting off about how bad everyone who actually did get elected is.

But then you guys would get tainted with American political reality and become utterly useless to the purity trolling you really want to do, huh.

 
 

Molly Ivins would say that the stuff that is done in the margins is important to Americans, too…

 
 

8. Banned kreteks, fucking bastards.

 
 

OK, but APART from the forests, cities, foreign aid, Transportation, technology, health care, and the Aqueducts, what has Obama done for us?

Free ponies for everyone?

 
 

BUT … and as an OBAMA CULTIST, I hate to admit this …. he has done NOTHING about the FUCHING FERRETS!

And he also allowed Woody Harrelson to make that zombie hate-movie. HALP MI! I”M BEIN REPRESSED!!

 
 

Any list would be silly to you, Regressive Choice. You’re making up your opinion first and trying to make the facts fit it, not the other way around. He could have cured Cancer and you’d say it was marginal because, hey, look at how small a percentage of Americans actually get Cancer on any given day!

Thanks for playing, though. You should go on over to that PUMA site…they’ll think you’re a genius.

 
 

OK, but APART from the forests, cities, foreign aid, Transportation, technology, health care, and the Aqueducts, what has Obama done for us?

Free ponies for everyone?

Mine was delicious.

 
 

I’m sympathetic to the sparts/purists, but Nader is a terrible figure to rally around. His hostility to party-building and organization makes him a perfect example of what’s wrong with the American left (not that he’s notably leftist in the international sense anyway). And he lost any goodwill he had remaining with me when he threw in his lot with the reactionaries during the Schiavo situation.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Free ponies for everyone?

And therefore condemning the glue industry to global bankruptcy. The monster.

 
 

Mine was delicious.

SPLITTER.

 
Progressive Voice
 

It’s not about Nader, it’s about building a REAL leftist party instead of just hanging around the Democrats like some battered wife, and after getting slapped for the 1,000 time by Baucus and Bayh going back to them and saying “thank you, sir. May I have another?”

 
Progressive Voice
 

Thanks for playing, though. You should go on over to that PUMA site

Fucking Hillary? She would have been even worse than Obama.

 
 

It is by purity alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the juice of Ralpho that thoughts acquire speed.
The lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning.
It is by purity alone I set my mind in motion.

 
 

And so Troofie’s latest nym goes badger dancing. Have fun storming the castle, “Progressive Voice”!

 
 

Why hasn’t the Janus Node come up with a recipe for Free Pony yet? One must speculate…

Even more importantly, why hasn’t the JanusNade come up with a recipe for FAILED SPLITTER POLITICAL CANDIDATE yet?

I bet it’s too bitter.

 
 

Fucking Hillary? She would have been even worse than Obama.

Hell, I’d do either of them.

 
Progressive Voice
 

When one of the following things happens, just ONE, then I won’t consider Obama to be nothing but a pretty brown face on corporate imperialism:

1) Withdraw from Afghanistan

2) Prosecution of Bushco. And I mean the big fish like Rumsefeld and Cheney, not just some stupid Lydie England grunt.

3) Closure of Gitmo, Baghram, and ALL SECRET TORTURE PRISONS.

4) Opening diplomatic relations with Iran and an end to the imperialist saber rattling against the Iranian . And no to the criminal sanctions being planned against Iran.

5) Ending of all government funds to military contractors like Xe.

Just one of those things. Just one.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

If Nader had gotten elected he would have accomplished lots of cool stuff because Congress would have been falling all over themselves to work with him.

 
 

PV- I’m just saying your opinion and theirs display the same amount of clarity and rational thought.

 
 

It’s not about Nader, it’s about building a REAL leftist party instead of just hanging around the Democrats like some battered wife, and after getting slapped for the 1,000 time by Baucus and Bayh going back to them and saying “thank you, sir. May I have another?”

I’m for that. Build up the party at the local and state level, start taking seats in congress and then the Greens can be something other than a spoiler, which is currently all they can hope to be at the presidential level.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

it’s about building a REAL leftist party

Alright, show us building.

Really, show us the independents gelling together votes in state senates, hell, local town politics. Show us our left-wing governor backed by a left-wing party.

Going for the Presidential brass ring isn’t going to get you fucking anywhere without some groundwork first. When you’ve got someone in your party in all fifty states running election cycle after election cycle, then we can talk about “building”.

 
 

Give me what I want, YESTERDAY, or I’ll…I’ll…whine on a blog…

 
 

Wait, it’s the sound of someone going down ON flames. My bad.

HOT.

 
 

As always, I must quote the inestimable blakno1:

“Ralph Nader is a goat-blowing assclown.”

 
 

4) Opening diplomatic relations with Iran and an end to the imperialist saber rattling against the Iranian

We were rattling our imperialist sabers against only one Iranian?

Proof-reading: Not as hostile as you imagine, Troofie.

 
 

zombie rotten mcdonald said,
October 7, 2009 at 19:54

Mine was delicious.

SPLITTER.

Oh, come on. You have to split them before you roast them or they won’t cook all the way through.

 
 

Oh, come on. You have to split them before you roast them or they won’t cook all the way through.

Ballpark Ponies: They Plump When You Cook Them.

 
Progressive Voice
 

I’m not fucking Troofie. I post on FDL.

The Greens want to run a Presidential candidate because we want at least 5% of the national vote to get matching funds. And Presidential candidates get attention. If the Greens don’t run a Presidential candidate, the corporate media will snicker than “hey, the Greens don’t even have a Presidential candidate! How serious are they as a party, anyway?”

And we’ve elected a real leftist Senator. His name is Bernie Sanders, and he isn’t a Democrat for a fucking reason.

 
 

It’s not about Nader, it’s about building a REAL leftist party instead of just hanging around the Democrats like some battered wife..
While I can almost get behind you on that idea, as a good crowd of the current Dems in office are too right-leaning and spineless for my tastes (Lieberman), it will not happen while there is still a seething mass of mindless crazy over on the right, beating their bibles and waving their rifles under a banner of their messiah, Jesus Regan Rush Limbaugh. Anyone who wishes to divide and conquer our decidedly broken two party system will go the way of Nader, or even *choke* Ross Perot. *gag*
Until the Republicans are broken, and the hate-Pudits and Talk Radio idols and warmongers are driven into the hills like dogs, we can debate policy, but we kinda have to stick together.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Until the Republicans are broken,

You have a super-majority in the Senate, a huge majority in the House, you control the Presidency, and a majority of the state Governorships.

I think the Republians look pretty damn “broken”. But not enough to withdraw from Iraq (which is what Dems promised back in TWO THOUSAND AND SIX and still haven’t done) or get single payer.

 
 

it will not happen while there is still a seething mass of mindless crazy over on the right

It can certainly happen if it starts locally. There are countries with more than two parties, and many of them are quite nice places.

 
 

I post on FDL.

Don’t you all…

 
 

Ballpark Ponies: They Plump When You Cook Them.\

veiled bestiality reference.

Totally on-topic what with teh troll droppings all over the place.

 
 

I’m not fucking Troofie

Oh, but Troofus certainly wishes you WERE….

 
 

I have to object here about everybody wondering about how somebody’s hair sits on their head. Sometimes, hair just sits funny on your head, like it did on your grandfather’s head, and you have to struggle to do something about it every damn day of your life, or walk around looking like an idiot. Believe me, I know.

If it’s a hairdo, please feel free to laugh. If it’s follicles, please show some pity and human warmth, will ya?

 
 

It can certainly happen if it starts locally. There are countries with more than two parties, and many of them are quite nice places.

While they try to gain as many votes as possible, quite a few “real left” parties enter into coalitions with center-left parties and other acceptable political partners. Would like to see that here in the U.S.

 
 

His name is Bernie Sanders, and he isn’t a Democrat for a fucking reason.

He’s not a fucking Green, either, spraynozzle. When he’s not called Independent, he is generally referred to as a Socialist.

 
 

veiled bestiality reference.

The goats look quite coquettish in their veils.

 
 

If it’s follicles, please show some pity and human warmth, will ya?

I will if he will.

 
 

veiled bestiality reference

You make your pony wear a veil? Don’t you want to look into its big soulful eyes?

 
 

DAMN YOU TO HELL SOMENYGUY.

 
 

The Greens want to run a Presidential candidate because we want at least 5% of the national vote to get matching funds.

Hey man, understood. But defending Nader as a Green candidate is not a good idea! The man has changed parties more often than most people change underwear. That kind of thing turns people off when deciding presidential material.

His name is Bernie Sanders, and he isn’t a Democrat for a fucking reason.

But he still runs with the Dems in the senate, and for good reason.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

If the Greens don’t run a Presidential candidate, the corporate media will snicker than “hey, the Greens don’t even have a Presidential candidate! How serious are they as a party, anyway?”

Yes, and? That’s what the corporate media does. The center-right party deals with that shit, you think you shouldn’t have to?

It would seem to me that you’d have a better chance of breaking the two-party system if Congress filled up with a bunch of independents like Bernie Sanders, instead of two assholes on the Presidential ballot that can’t get above 1% of the national vote because nobody gives a shit and so win NOTHING.

So, it’s either meaningless political theater on the Presidential level that gets you nowhere year after year, or pragmatic results on the legislative level that will get you a goddamn party to build up to the presidency.

Your choice.

 
 

HAH!

N__B walked right into our trap!

 
 

Nader has changed parties more often than most people trolls change underwear.

Fiqqst.

 
 

There are countries with more than two parties, and many of them are quite nice places.

True, but unlikely to happen here due to the two-party bias built into the system. For better or worse, our system only sustains 2 parties at a time – most of the time. Typically, any third-party movement that becomes strong enough to be a contender gets subsumed, or itself subsumes, one of the existing major 2 parties. Our winner-takes-all system doesn’t incentivize multiple parties representing multiple constituencies, which is why third (or fourth, or fifth) parties can’t get anywhere unless and until things get really fucking bad for very large numbers of people. And then what I outlined above happens.

 
 

veiled bestiality reference.

The goats look quite coquettish in their veils.

Which has me thinking, is there a corollary to Godwin about the probability of a Mickey Kaus reference the longer a SN thread goes?

 
 

Watch me gnaw my fingers off.

 
 

Hey PV, we’re all flapping are arms as hard as we can!

Why don’t ya stop yanking down people’s shorts and help us flap?

This is not a 3rd Bush term.

That is Gopper scale hyperbole right there, Proggy.

It’s kinda hard to get past the fright wig and glowing nose, ya know?

 
 

#

N__B said,

October 7, 2009 at 20:21 (kill)

Watch me gnaw my fingers off.

do you have a newsletter?

 
Progressive Voice
 

It IS a third Bush term:

A presidential candidate opposed to the Iraq War is elected and enters the Oval Office. Yet six months later, there are still essentially the same number of troops in Iraq as were there when his predecessor left, the same number, in fact, used in the original invasion of Iraq in March 2003. Moreover, the new president remains on the “withdrawal” schedule the previous administration laid out for him with the same caveats being issued about whether it can even be met.

That administration also built a humongous, three-quarters-of-a-billion-dollar embassy in Baghdad, undoubtedly the most expensive on the planet. Staffed with approximately 1,000 “diplomats,” it was clearly meant to be a massive command center for Iraq (and, given neocon dreams, the region). Last weekend, well into the Obama era, the Washington Post reported that the State Department’s yearly budget for “running” that embassy — $1.5 billion (that is not a misprint) in 2009 — will actually rise to $1.8 billion for 2010 and 2011. In addition, the Obama administration now plans to invest upwards of a billion dollars in constructing a massive embassy in Islamabad and other diplomatic facilities in Pakistan and Afghanistan. Here, too, there will be a massive influx of “diplomats,” and here, too, a U.S. command center for the region is clearly being created.

What’s striking are the continuities in American foreign and military policy, no matter who is in the White House. The first-term Obama foreign policy now looks increasingly like the second-term Bush foreign policy. Even where change can be spotted, it regularly seems to follow in the same vein. The New York Times, for instance, recently reported that the controversial “missile defense shield” the Bush administration was insistent on basing in Poland and the Czech Republic is being reconsidered in a many-months-long Obama administration “review.” While this should be welcomed, the only option mentioned involved putting it elsewhere — in Turkey and somewhere in the Balkans. At stake is one of the great military-industrial boondoggles of our age. Yet cancellation is, it seems, beyond consideration in Washington.

Read more here: http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175109/david_swanson_the_more_things_change

 
 

What has Obama done? Let’s see, he didn’t he sign some sort of economic stimulus thingy? But of course that didn’t do anything except:

– extend unemployment benefits, so I could continue to eat
– rouse the economy in my state to the point where I could get my fucking job back
– subsidize COBRA payments to the point where I can now actually afford medicine for my sick wife.

Other than that, Obama hasn’t done jack shit.

Fuck you, Progressive Voice, and the horse you rode in on.

 
 

N__B said,
October 7, 2009 at 20:18

DAMN YOU TO HELL SOMENYGUY.

You mean it gets worse than this? Unpossible.

 
 

Typically, any third-party movement that becomes strong enough to be a contender gets subsumed, or itself subsumes, one of the existing major 2 parties.

Sure would be okay if the Democrats subsumed a left wing.

 
 

You mean it gets worse than this? Unpossible.

Could be worse. You could live in Dubuque.

 
 

Fuck you, Progressive Voice, and the horse you rode in on.

Too late. It’s already been split, roasted and eaten. With relish.

 
 

Could be worse. You could live in Dubuque.

But then the New Yorker would refuse his subscription.

 
 

The New York Times, for instance, recently reported that the controversial “missile defense shield” the Bush administration was insistent on basing in Poland and the Czech Republic is being reconsidered in a many-months-long Obama administration “review.” While this should be welcomed, the only option mentioned involved putting it elsewhere — in Turkey and somewhere in the Balkans.

Note that the plan has been dropped entirely, a good thing.

 
 

It IS a third Bush term…

No, it really isn’t. Thanks for expressing your concern.

 
 

True, but unlikely to happen here due to the two-party bias built into the system.

Dunno. Here in Canuckistan we’ve got First Past The Post and four national parties with representation. The way things are going now in teh USA, with the GOP hell-bent for regional rump status, there seems to be space for a new national “centre-right” party.

Perhaps the future political landscape will be a threesome or possibly even more. Perhaps the Democrats will be the new “centre-right” and the Greens will be the “centre-left” and the Repubs the “racist assholes who live outta their trucks”.

 
 

Not sure if it’s Troofy. This one’s damn thorough for Troofy standards- usually the persona he creates for himself falls apart after about five posts.

Then again, Troofy hasn’t been around here for a couple of months, so maybe he spent that time at his local Super 8 again trying to figure out the wireless network and coming up with his newest sockpuppet.

 
 

But then the New Yorker would refuse his subscription.

so there’s an upside…

 
 

Too late. It’s already been split, roasted and eaten. With relish.

AND an elite mustard.

 
Progressive Voice
 

You all are a bunch of posers. The only real true progressive is MEEEEEEE!

 
 

Nader = RONPAUL = LaRouche.

Fringe nobodies worshipped by a small number of very noisy conspiracy theorists.

 
 

Awfuk. Folks, please don’t make me wade through so much squirrel poop. Oblivious troll is oblivious.

 
 

just read the zombie comments.

Assuming, of course, you haven’t badgered me.

 
 

I think the Republians look pretty damn “broken”.

I think you underestimate the resiliency of stupid that seems to resonate in the public mind, typically in that section of the populace marked “undecided”. When you consider that the Constitution party, a group that thought the Repubs were not Jesus-fearing or far enough on the right for their tastes, can semi-accurately claim that they are the “Fastest growing political party”, anything on that side of the fence cannot accurately be called broken

 
 

Folks, please don’t make me wade through so much squirrel poop.

No one’s making you. You must be poop-wading* on your own initiative.

* Veiled sex-with-republicans reference.

 
 

He’s been having the sweet, sweet monkey lovin’ every night in the White Man’s House.

Mandingoist!

But mmmmmmmmm to knock boots with Michelle O….ohhhhhhhhhhh…

 
 

Is this the Class of 2008 Troll Reunion?

 
 

Fuck you, Progressive Voice, and the horse you rode in on.

Too late. It’s already been split, roasted and eaten. With relish.

You New Yorkers HORSEJACKED him?

harsh, dudes.

 
 

Perhaps the future political landscape will be a threesome or possibly even more. Perhaps the Democrats will be the new “centre-right” and the Greens will be the “centre-left” and the Repubs the “racist assholes who live outta their trucks”.

Not likely to happen.

Duverger’s Law pretty much rules that possibility out for anything more than a very brief moment in time.

 
 

Not sure if it’s Troofy. This one’s damn thorough for Troofy standards- usually the persona he creates for himself falls apart after about five posts.

PV’s spelling is better than Troofy’s as well. Same persistence as Troofus, though.

 
 

You New Yorkers HORSEJACKED him?

harsh, dudes.

Listen, there are parts of the Lower East Side you don’t want to ride your kid’s Barbie bicycle in…

 
 

just read the zombie comments.

It’s brains all the way down.

 
 

PV’s spelling is better than Troofy’s as well. Same persistence as Troofus, though.

Zealotry will do that.

 
 

Newbie McNoob said,

October 7, 2009 at 20:37

The first sentence suffers from tag fail. Sorry.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Folks, please don’t make me wade through so much squirrel poop.

The only problem is that the original, actual wingnut knob this thread is apparently about is so tedious and boring themselves that the squirrel shit is actually a welcome distraction.

You’re welcome to come up on some new take on the squirting shits terror the Hispanic voting bloc puts into Republican knobs, but honestly, I’m not seeing a lot of hope for it.

 
 

The only problem is that the original, actual wingnut knob this thread is apparently about is so tedious and boring themselves that the squirrel shit is actually a welcome distraction.

Sadly, so true….

Where the hell did the ProgressiveTroll go? That, at least, was interesting.

 
 

Folks, please don’t make me wade through so much squirrel poop.

I BLAME ACORN.

 
 

Into every macaroni salad, kid, a little celery must fall.

 
 

What has Obama done?

1. Committed the unpardonable crime of being Black While Elected President.

He should earn a medal for this alone, as it has driven the right wingnut fringe of this country completely bug-eyed fucking berserk and it has been a joy to watch them eat their own movement alive with their virulent, stupid racism.

 
 

it has driven the right wingnut fringe of this country completely bug-eyed fucking berserk and it has been a joy to watch them eat their own movement alive with their virulent, stupid racism.

Yeah, it is a truly beautiful thing, isn’t it? With a couple of prods in the right places, we might actually be privileged enough to watch them collapse altogether in one final, frothing, freak spasm.

 
 

Gore would totally have annexed Poland.

 
 

With a couple of prods in the right places, we might actually be privileged enough to watch them collapse altogether in one final, frothing, freak spasm.

A different word than spasm which both rhymes with and triggers the word “orgasm” would be advisable here

*running to get Clorox Brain Bleach*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Goddamn, holier-than-thou third-partiers are fucking BORING.

In other news, Michelle Bachmann makes me lol. “The only place that this issue comes up is on the left. ” HA HA HA HA HA HA! God bless her.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

A different word than spasm which both rhymes with and triggers the word “orgasm” would be advisable here

The “frothing” isn’t helping things, either.

 
 

T&U

In fairness to Bachmann, most Birthers ARE to the left of her.

 
 

Will someone PLEASE enlighten me: what is with this D-Bag’s HAIR?

Oh noes! I thought grandpa killed the head vampire when he drove his jeep into the house. It lives! Santa Carla, beware!

 
 

Will someone PLEASE enlighten me: what is with this D-Bag’s HAIR?

He decided to leave the jaunty plastic fruit bowl at home.

 
St. Xecky Gilchrist
 

When you consider that the Constitution party […] can semi-accurately claim that they are the “Fastest growing political party”, anything on that side of the fence cannot accurately be called broken

While I agree with you, I would point out that “fastest growing” is almost synonymous with “smallest” in nearly every application of the term.

 
 

Cap’n Fatback, you sir win one free internet.

Consilation to St N.C.

 
 

“fastest growing” is almost synonymous with “smallest” in nearly every application of the term.

This, while perhaps cruel, is also true. Would bacteria be an accurate analogy?

 
 

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride…

 
 

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride…

That’s not what I heard.

 
 

Page Six is a fuckin’ liar.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Alternate Gerson shorter: If ya can’t deport them, ya gotta court them.

McNoob, what will you do with the t00bz that you have won?

I have to object here about everybody wondering about how somebody’s hair sits on their head. Sometimes, hair just sits funny on your head, like it did on your grandfather’s head, and you have to struggle to do something about it every damn day of your life, or walk around looking like an idiot. Believe me, I know.

There is an obvious solution… give yourself over to the bald side… itwasn’tme- I AM YOUR FATHER!

 
 

I take it all back. Make fun of the follicularily-challenged. The snark is too fun to miss.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

In fairness to Bachmann, most Birthers ARE to the left of her.

I’m not sure that these people even fit on a political continuum at this point.

I’m going to have to visit Minnesota one of these days. It seems like a strange icy wonderland, given that it produced both Bachmann and Franken.

 
 

A different word than spasm which both rhymes with and triggers the word “orgasm” would be advisable here

The word “schism” is a trigger for me.

 
 

You could live in Dubuque.

Better than living in da Hyundai.

 
 

give yourself over to the bald side

Yea! That’s right! It’s so much cooler to be bald!

*sob*

 
 

… give yourself over to the bald side…

It is too late for me..

 
 

zombies gots hair.

Well, this one does. Unkempt, thinning, and filled with graveyard dirt, maybe, but it still qualifies….

 
 

zombies gots hair

Hm. This makes me rethink my life’s plan….

 
 

Better than living in da Hyundai.

GET AUDI HERE.

 
 

a212,

I meant to reply here, but apparently I shoulda taken the left at Alberquerque.

 
 

DKW,

Canada has a parliamentary system tho, right?

In a winner-take-all system like America’s, Duverger’s Law still holds. It’s either/or. You can’t have a third choice until there’s proportionate representation.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Yea! That’s right! It’s so much cooler to be bald!

You could buy a decent woolen hat.

 
 

You could buy a decent woolen hat.

Man, I just bought a French beret! How much cooler can it be than that???

 
 

In a winner-take-all system like America’s, Duverger’s Law still holds. It’s either/or. You can’t have a third choice until there’s proportionate representation.

But people have elected third choices in congress and the senate.

What do you mean by “winner take all”? “Most votes wins”?

 
 

What do you mean by “winner take all”? “Most votes wins”?

Yes.

And as I said upthread, with temporary exceptions, third parties fail in America. Bernie Sanders won, yes, but notice who he caucuses with in order to get things accomplished in his state. So to say he’s third party is not completely accurate.

Take Ross Perot and the…well, whatever they call themselves now. Perot pulled the highest percentage for a third party candidate since Teddy Roosevelt, and even then, it was based in large part on his personal fortune, not the money that Duverger’s Law insists will go to either one party or the other.

And once he stopped funding them, it was bye-bye.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Man, I just bought a French beret! How much cooler can it be than that???

A French beret, a fag beret, or both?

Now that you have a beret, you must now sport a soul patch, and extemporize poems to the beat of some bongos.

It’s your destiny.

 
 

A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything

 
 

Now that you have a beret, you must now sport a soul patch

I don’t grow facial hair well. Can I just find a willing woman to let me give her a chin job while I recite?

 
 

extemporize poems to the beat of some bongos.
Dirty limericks.
Do they count?

 
 

I love the pictures of the wingnuts. Thanks, SadlyNo!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Can I just find a willing woman to let me give her a chin job while I recite?

You tell me, and let me know if she has a sister!

Dirty limericks.
Do they count?

Only by a small amount.

OT, but the celebrant at next week’s religious services is gorgeous- that makes two in a row! Smuttynose IPA is on tap at the venue.

 
 

Sub,

Name the last Prime Minister of Canada, or Governor of the upper chamber, even, who was neither Liberal nor Conservative.

You’re seeing Duverger’s Law in action.

 
 

Name the last Prime Minister of Canada, or Governor of the upper chamber, even, who was neither Liberal nor Conservative.

Doesn’t matter. Legislation passes through parliament, in which third parties, if they do well enough, can wring concessions out of minority governments. That’s the current situation in Canada, and an argument for third parties.

 
 

Half of parliament is handpicked by the Prime Minister.

 
 

Half of parliament is handpicked by the Prime Minister.

Wrong.

 
 

Man, I just bought a French beret! How much cooler can it be than that???

You could get a sombrero.

 
 

Half of parliament is handpicked by the Prime Minister.

Wrong.

A difference which is no difference makes no difference, the governor chooses the upper chamber at the recommendation of the PM. De facto, the PM picks them.

Just as the minor parties in the lower chamber make no difference, so it’s still a two party system, de facto.

 
 

You could get a sombrero.

And give a zombie something to grab at? You must be joking!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Tell us more about Canadian parliament, y’all.

 
 

A difference which is no difference makes no difference, the governor chooses the upper chamber at the recommendation of the PM. De facto, the PM picks them.

Still really really wrong.

 
Mr. Bunched Undies
 

By 2030, the Latino share of the vote in America is likely to double. Some Republicans seem to be calculating that this influence can be countered by running up their percentage of support among white voters. But this is not eventually realistic, because non-college-educated whites are declining as a portion of the electorate.

Jesus Christ, Gerson comes right out and says the R’s actively cultivate the idiot white vote! This is more candor than I honestly expect from such a dirt bag…

 
 

My nomination for most telling bit is:

“Some Republicans seem to be calculating that this influence can be countered by running up their percentage of support among white voters. But this is not eventually realistic, because non-college-educated whites are declining as a portion of the electorate.”

Seems to me Gerson is admitting that the Rape-publicans pretty much rely on the votes of the academically challenged. It certainly explains why Bush 43’s administration worked so hard to run American education further into the ground with No Child Left Behind.

 
 

Man, I just bought a French beret! How much cooler can it be than that???

You could get a sombrero.

BICORN.

 
 

You could rock a fez. And then accessorize with a miniature car.

 
 

And give a zombie something to grab at? You must be joking!

I think you’re being unnecessarily paranoid.

 
 

Half of parliament is handpicked by the Prime Minister.
I read that as ‘handcuffed’, and immediately thought that you were talking about the NZ system.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

@ DKW:

Here in Western Washington, we probably pay more attention to Canadian politics than most USAians, but I haven’t been paying attention lately—are the SoCreds still around? Haven’t heard much from them in recent years. Maybe the new US Wingnut party could call themselves that.

 
 

I read that as ‘handcuffed’, and immediately thought that you were talking about the NZ system.

NZ has no House of Lords equivalent? How do you get rid of the loudmouths?

 
 

Calling Bernie Sanders a leftist is proof this guy is a troll. Real sparts hate Bernie.

 
 

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride…

To be fair, I should have points deducted for blockquote fail.

 
 

Tell us more about Canadian parliament, y’all.

Sure. They play hockey and swear at each other, but do it without using reglar cussin’ words. And I can babble about them at length (veiled PENIS reference).

Look, Canada has a first-past-the-post system, just like in the US. We just got extra political parties that don’t do anything. Is it true a la Duverger that it’s really a two-party system? Well mostly. There’s four national parties with representation right now. There have historically been as many as five.

Extra parties, while a nice way to enjoy the week-end, really don’t change the chief grand poobah. We’ve had “majority” governments with less than 40% of the popular vote. I can’t remember when the last time a party won more than 50% of the vote nationally.

But here’s the kicker – occasionally you’ll get a minority government. Meaning that the big winner of the elections has to play ball and pretend to be co-operative with others. Unless it’s the Conservatives. In that case, they know that the Liberal Party is run by fucking gutless wankers, useless tools that make Democrats seem like dynamos of civic energy. Fuck the Liberals, fuck them with zombie Pierrre Trudeau’s still swinging PENIS.

Anyways, point is that Canada’s “good government” is a real piece of odeur (that’s an in-joke to my other Canuckistanis).

No, the real advantage is that extra parties can come into existence – and the Canadian public is distrustful enough of government that they prefer minority governments – leading to some real “kingmaker” like powers for smaller political voices. Makes up in part for them getting totally fucking shafted on representation.

Unless they’re regional parties. Bloc and the former Reform party are and were totally regional rumps. They got the bonus of more representation than popular support. And Bloc gets the added bonus of being all spoilery to minority goverments. That’s slightly mitigated by the fact that most times, regional powers don’t really give that much of a shit about the central federal runnings of things. Just so long as they don’t mess with the homeland.

But anyways, what I’m saying is probably the shit for youse Yanks. Your regional rump is the Confederacy. Those shitbags have got more than enough voice as is. Also.

TL;DR version: PENIS.

 
 

tVRBK,

Social Credit has been daid for decades, at least nationally. They’re the “New Democrat Party” now. Their leader is from my hometown of LEAFS SUCK. I dunno what it’s like in teh Praries. Us – Torontonians give less of a shit about Saskatchewan than Americans do. Seriously, fuck those guys. Or not, really, I dunno.

 
 

Okay, I guess no one’s still reading this old thread now that it’s gummed up with Canadian politics. Still, that was a pretty masterful FUCK THE WEST comment if I do say so myself.

 
 

NZ has no House of Lords equivalent? How do you get rid of the loudmouths?
Ballgags, mostly.
The best part of Hansard is spotting the safe-words.

 
 

Huh. Ballgags on a comment thread (originally) about Michael Gerson.

Works for me.

Phozozhop pleez?

 
 

Okay, I guess no one’s still reading this old thread now that it’s gummed up with Canadian politics

Shorter Canadian Politics:

“Forecheck, backcheck, paycheck.”

 
 

Okay, I guess no one’s still reading this old thread now that it’s gummed up with Canadian politics.

Good time to start talking about Rush (not the drug-addled loudmouth)….

 
 

A NUUUUUU WOOOORRRRLLLLLDDDD MAAAANNNN!!!!

 
Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition
 

This guy has the softest hands, scented with rosewater, and his breath smells like toothpaste all day.

 
 

This guy has the softest hands, scented with rosewater,

veiled reach-around reference.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Thanks for the clarification, DKW—I didn’t know that the New Democrats were historically the Social Credit Party. Most of the Canadian politics we hear about here is in BC, and I know I’ve heard from the SoCreds into the 90s at least.

I remember the blurb or a Webster show a long time ago (You have to imagine a really thick Scots accent): “René Levêque—you remember him, he’s the guy who wanted to bust up Canada. Now he’s written a book about it, and he wants you to buy a copy! Today on Webster!”

It just seems your politics is more entertaining than ours; but it’s worth remembering that secession came up there first. (Well, ignoring 1861 and all.)

 
 

I didn’t know that the New Democrats were historically the Social Credit Party.
They weren’t. That was my weak attempt to piss of western farmers. Before I realized that western canookian farmers are as likely to be reading this as I am to have a concubine harvester fly out my butt.

I just looked Socred up, they apparently are still around in BC, although they’ve been leaderless since the millenium.

 
 

I remember the blurb or a Webster show a long time ago (You have to imagine a really thick Scots accent): “René Levêque—you remember him, he’s the guy who wanted to bust up Canada. Now he’s written a book about it, and he wants you to buy a copy! Today on Webster!”

It just seems your politics is more entertaining than ours; but it’s worth remembering that secession came up there first. (Well, ignoring 1861 and all.)

I can’t imagine Emmanuel Lewis saying any of that, let alone in a Scots accent.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

They weren’t. That was my weak attempt to piss of western farmers. Before I realized that western canookian farmers are as likely to be reading this as I am to have a concubine harvester fly out my butt.

A joke went over my head? Unpossible!

I can’t imagine Emmanuel Lewis saying any of that, let alone in a Scots accent.

Webster was a curmudgeonly old Scotsman who used to have an afternoon talk show on Channel 8 in Vancouver. Of course, our cable system took Channel 8 away from us about 1987, so like I said, it was a while ago.

 
 

Fuck you, Progressive Voice, and the horse you rode in on.

Too late. It’s already been split, roasted and eaten. With relish.

Not relish, damnit!! Why do you think they call it HORSEradish!!

 
 

BICORN.

ACORN’s militant bisexual wing.

 
 

BICORN.

ACORN’s militant bisexual wing.

And Tricorn?

 
 

Unpossible!
To be fair, it was a shitty joke.

The idea of ACORN having a militant bisexual wing gets me thinking about CREAMED CORN.

 
 

And Tricorn?

predecessor to Quadrotriticale.

 
 

My favorite part of the article:

Some Republicans seem to be calculating that this [Hispanic] influence can be countered by running up their percentage of support among white voters. But this is not eventually realistic, because non-college-educated whites are declining as a portion of the electorate.

Do you think this guy, or anyone like him, ever wonders why education pushes people away from the GOP?

 
 

predecessor to Quadrotriticale.
Which is eaten by quadrabbles.

 
 

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