I’m either getting a lot better or a lot worse at distilling l’essence du wingnut.

Or maybe, as the general public turns away from Republicans but their base urges them to lift up their voices and sing louder, their message has begun to coalesce and take on an eerie hum — something approaching close harmony. Either way, instead of running down each and every Wednesday column — which is tiresome for both the writer and his readers — I’ve whittled and molded them all into one, sleek message that sings like the Louvin Brothers.

Shorter Everyone at Townhall: Perhaps a GOP midterm loss would be a blessing in disguise, because we could position the party even further to the right before gearing up for one final push in 2008.

Today’s conservatives feel betrated by their party. Lawmakers have insufficiently addressed the swarming brown hordes that pour across our borders, traitors in the media go unpunished, decent Christian legislators are being brought down by politically motivated prosecutions, and lawmakers have insufficiently addressed the swarming brown hordes that pour across our borders. It’s gotten to the point where Democrats don’t even flinch reflexively every time a Republican looks at them. The conservative base is growing agitated but, fortunately, a song has been recorded to soothe the savage beast. (No, not the Right Brothers. This is a metaphorical song.) Let’s head over to the mixing board and strip away each track, voice by voice, to better appreciate this harmonic convergence.

Tony Blankley steps up to the microphone to concede the declining popularity of GOP lawmakers, and suggests vigorous, cleansing action:

I admit that it is hard to find a political professional who doesn’t see public opinion trending toward a decisive Republican defeat in November. On the other hand, nothing in those public surveys suggests that Republican and conservative ideas have lost their popularity. What the public is turning sour on is the Republican Party as an effective vehicle for delivering those ideas […]

A Republican Party actively led by the president, united on the budget and some tax cuts, immigration and foreign policy, legislating vigorously and speaking out clearly and firmly on the rigorous demands of a dangerous world — is what the country needs. It is certainly what the Party needs.

So, as in the song of yore, although Republicans are up to their necks in hot water, they should be like the kettle and sing.

Hmm. Must be where I picked up the singing metaphor. (How volkish.) Ben Shaprio do-ra-mi’s a seemingly inevitable Republican defeat, but he wrings a full pitcher of lemonade from those lemons and picks up the chorus:

Prospects look bleak for the Republican Party in the upcoming midterm elections … This isn’t because Democrats have articulated a vision that Americans find compelling — it’s because Republicans have splintered and abandoned their message. The public isn’t happy with Democrats, it’s angry with Republicans.

The young feller hits all the piercing high notes, accusing Democrats of dominating the political conversation and shutting out Republican proposals (I know), and ties logic into double knots to make a startlingly dishonest case for why Democrats are undeserving partners in governance:

They protect terrorists for political expediency; they protect illegal immigrants for political expediency; they protect Islamofascists in Iraq for political expediency; they protect those who do not work at the expense of those who do for political expediency; they protect radical abortion and homosexuality advocates for political expediency. Americans may be unhappy with Republicans, but Republicans must make clear that the alternative is a country run by those who consistently side with enemies of the American people.

It’s more than just a little telling, ain’t it, that young Ben interprets Democrats upholding traditional notions about constitutional law and social justice as mere “political expediency” — but that’s a whole ‘nother post. For now, we’ll stay focused on this apparent catching of the breath and licking of the wounds, in anticipation of driving Democrats permanently out of power. (One key provision of that plan will no doubt be to illegitimize a Democratic election win by claiming, for example, that the victory margin was padded by illegal immigrants.)

So will this song be a summertime hit? We’ll leave that up to their audience (i.e., the audience who read this to be informed, not to laugh and/or become frightened) to decide:

“America does not want liberal policies running this country and enough of us have made that clear through the past few yrs that it should be obvious by now,” writes commenter dwillis. “The republicans need to abandon the idea of pandering for votes and pandering to the democrats and stand up for what they say they believe.”

If wishing that lawmakers could turn their attention away from the unseemly business of “getting votes” or “winning elections” is the hook, then it got stuck in at least one listener’s head all day. Other listeners appreciate its underlying message:

“Ben makes some good points, mostly about Republicans not fighting back against Democrats,” writes twb1962. “I want the laws of this country enforced. I want our international borders defended and I want our national sovereignty respected. I wish the GOP would take the ‘law and order’ side of this issue, but that isn’t likely. Our culture, our language, and the United States as we know it really are at stake. I am a ‘one issue voter’ until sanity is restored.”

You don’t have to be a regular Ornicus reader to see what’s taking shape here (especially that last commenter — yikes. National purity, anyone?). A potential Republican loss is already being set up as simultaneously illegitimate and the result of insufficient conservative purity. Either way, Republicans are likely to react by opening up the door to extremists who promise to restore conservative values and atone for a humiliating election defeat.

Or, hell, maybe the elections’ll be cancelled on account of nuclear winter. You never can tell these days, what with all the crapping and the shooting.