Sorry, Sy. Talking is for Sissies

From Sy Hersh’s interview with Wolf Blitzer earlier today:

HERSH: Here’s the real, critical point. The critical point, it seems to me, is that we’re not talking. This president is not talking to the Iranians. They are trying very hard to make contact, I can assure you of that, in many different forms. And he’s not talking. And there’s no public pressure on the White House to start bilateral talks. And that’s what amazes everybody. When I was in Vienna, seeing officials of the International Atomic Energy Agency, the one thing they all said is everybody knows Iran is trying to do something. They’re cheating. They’re not near. There’s plenty of time. And instead of talking about bombing, let’s talk about talking.

“Let’s talk about talking?”

Oh, Sy. Sy, Sy, Sy. That is the most… sissified thing I’ve ever heard. You sound like some lonely housewife whining to her husband after he’s just come home after fucking his secretary. “Why don’t we talk anymore? We used to talk all the time. But now you never talk to me. IS MY ASS TOO BIG????” What rubbish.

“Talking” is not how a manly nation conducts its foreign policy. Manly nations conduct their foreign policy with these:


Look at that long, firm nuclear missile. No sane Muslamic country would even dream of developing its own nuclear penis heads warheads if they knew that we’d launch fifty gajillion of those phallic bad boys right at their sorry Allah-loving asses. The idea that America should “talk softly and carry a big stick” is *so* pre-9/11. The post-9/11 worldview is “All stick, all the time, going right up your ass!”


Comments: 19


Bushkie says: “Hey Ahmadinejad, show me yours and I’ll show you mine…”


Damn you out-freepered the freepers. This was satire, right? Al Qaeda didn’t just nuke Fenway and rape your dog, causing the scales to fall from your eyes?


Posts like this are homoerotic enough to ensure the author never has to worry about a potential draft…..very clever!


Yes, Tweety, I am actually joking.


Why do all these Persians keep sucking my ICBM?


“Why do all these Persians keep sucking my ICBM?”

The world is our brothel.


Why do all these Persians keep sucking my ICBM?

Because few of them can resist a huge, rigid cylinder capable of wiping out a good percentage of their population?


Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk… ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children’s ice cream.

You know when fluoridation first began? Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

Well, I, uh… I… I… first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love. Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue… a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I… I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh… women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh… I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I… I do deny them my essence.


Hung over, are we?


Dude! You hacked Ann Coulter’s computer and found her porn folder!


I’d hit it . . . with a Patriot missile.


Uh oh, the feminist law professors are not going to like this post.


You know, there’s nothing in the second amendment that qualifies what kind of arms I have a right to bear. I want to bear me a whole six pack of those bad boys, and screw any pansy-ass liberals who want to stop me.

You can have my nukes when you pry them from the radioactive dust that used to be my fingers!


Damn Tootin Shargash!! If only the gubermint has nukes the next thing you no we’ll be living in a totalitotalarian soceity and our freedom will be next!! So you librul nancy boyz stick that in you’re puny little pipes, smoke it, and then eat it!!!1!!


The Sy Hersh New Yorker article is reprinted here. It’s quite long, depressing, and pretty good.


Supposing a bit of water has gone off, eh? And certainly one can never be too sure about those sort of things. Would you look at me now. Do I look all rancid and clotted? You look at me, Jack, eh? Look, eh? And I drink a lot of water, you know. I’m what you might call a water man, Jack. That’s what I am. And I can swear to you, my boy, swear to you, that there’s nothing wrong with my bodily fluids. Not a thing, Jackie.


You know, there’s nothing in the second amendment that qualifies what kind of arms I have a right to bear.

Damn straight! Today the mad scientist can’t get a doomsday device, tomorrow it’s the mad grad student! Where will it end!


Yes, Tweety, I am actually joking.

Well, one has to be sure. I just know SadNo is gonna get all Dennis Miller on me one of these days.



Well I… I would hate to have to decide.. who stays up and.. who goes down.


Well, that would not be necessary Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross section of necessary skills. Of course it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. Slams down left fist. [Right arm rises in stiff Nazi salute.] Arrrrr! [Restrains right arm with left.] Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. But ah with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within say, twenty years.


Doctor, you mentioned the ration of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?


Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.


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