Is Your Entire Country on Crack?
[Reprinted with graphics tweaks and mild edits from Brainshrub.com. Originally posted in comments at TPM Cafe, Jan. 14, 2006. Also posted, then yanked from Metafilter today, for being “just some blog post. . .and about Iraq, yet.” Note to Metafilter: Iraq is the one spelled with the ‘q’ at the end.]
On the topic of an inevitable conflict with Iran
By Den Vandron
Speaking as a Canadian who is fond of judicious language, I feel that this situation deserves careful and measured thought. So let me just open with:
Is your entire f*cking country on crack??? Are all you Americans out of your cotton picking minds??? Are you completely freaking delusional? Homicidal? Psychotic? Have you lost any shred of a moral compass? WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS H. CHRIST ON A CRUTCH IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!
Let me offer up one small datum which may completely change the equation for you: According to the CIA (If they have any credibility left.) Iran is at least five years away from a nuclear weapon.
Five years.
Five years is time for diplomacy to accomplish a hell of a lot.
I would also point out that the Atomic Energy Commission, various other international bodies and other inspections have essentially found no sign that Iran is even working on a nuclear weapon.
The only actual evidence that Iran has anything close to nuclear weapons technology is blueprints *that the CIA gave to them!*
Have you all forgotten that the evidence on Iraq was spectacularly wrong? Have you all ignored the fact that it was fabricated? Why then are we going down the exact same road of stage managed, fabricated pseudo-evidence and wild-ass hysteria?
What is wrong with you people?
This entire crisis has been manufactured, and has been years in the making.
Stop and think back five years. What did we have five years ago? A moderate reformist Iranian government making overtures to the United States, rebuilding its relationship with Europe, liberalizing its society, and modernizing its economy.
Post 9/11 vigil in Iran. 9/11 comes along, the Iranians are overflowing with sympathy. Mass candlelit vigils are held in Tehran. Iran offers aid and cooperation.
Post-9/11 vigil in Tehran
Iran hates the Taliban, who have executed Iranian diplomats and massacred Afghan Shiites. Iran hates Saddam Hussein. Iran hates Al Qaeda which is a Sunni Fundamentalist organization, which declares Shiites infidels and subhuman.
Iran shares its intelligence with America — they even arrested Taliban members and handed them over to US custody.
So we’ve got the Iranian spring; things are finally going to sort out.
And what happens? The Bush administration rebuffs every Iranian overture and does its best to instigate a cold war. Afghanistan is invaded, and suddenly, the Iranians are looking at American troops and allies on their eastern border. Then Iraq is invaded, and American troops and allies on their western border. Then bases and treaties in Uzbekistan, and whoops, there’s more American troops and allies on the northern border. The Persian Gulf is filled with American warships and carrier fleets.
Now the Iranians are surrounded. And the tough talk is constant. Iran is part of the ‘Axis of Evil’ and Americans tell each other “Baghdad, humph, real men go to Tehran.” Essentially, America has been threatening military action against Iran for the last five years, and has surrounded the country on every side with troops, bases and allies.
American aircraft invade Iranian airspace regularly, American special forces undertake operations inside Iran and Americans regularly accuse Iranians of interference in Iraq.
Dick Cheney pontificates about Israel bombing Iran *after he has just handed over to Israel the long range bombers and bunker busting bombs* required to do the job.
Meanwhile, the United States undertakes economic warfare against Iran, interfering with its business dealings with third party countries, trying to scuttle a pipeline deal with India, and it goes on and on. The hysteria about the Iranians nuclear program is just more of the same.
Now how in God’s Bloody Name do you think the Iranians are going to respond to that. Should they concede the nuclear program, abandon their pipeline project? If so, its not going to do them any good. America will just seek more concessions. Each surrender will be met by new demands. This isn’t hard to figure out. It’s exactly what Bush did with Iraq.
Perhaps overtures, goodwill gestures, trying to act like a peaceful nation. Did all those things, doesn’t matter. The Bush administration is still on a collision course.
So, the Mullahs are concerned that they’re faced with a homicidal crazy state, the Iranian people are scared. When people are scared and faced with an aggressive warmongering power which keeps threatening to attack them, continually trespasses on its borders and is undertaking economic warfare… who the hell are they going to elect? Ahminajad may be a crazy bastard, but you assholes, you utter assholes did every thing you could to elect him short of donating 50,000 Diebold machines and mailing his party the trapdoor codes.
So, having pursued a psychotically aggressive course, you’ve backed Iran into a corner, and engineered a regime which refuses to back further.
And *you* are the victims in all this? *You* are the ones under threat? It’s *self defense*????
And of course, you goofily believe that you can just bomb or nuke Iran with impunity?
Holy Microeconomic Theory, Batman! Iran’s nuclear facilities are distributed across the country and in hardened sites near population centers. So any strike that cripples a significant portion of Iran’s nuclear capacity will inevitably be so large and kill so many people that its going to be tantamount to inviting full scale war.
Think about that. Iran is 70 million people, an area five times the size of Iraq, not disemboweled by 12 years of sanctions and air raids. On the other side of the coin, America’s ground army is busted and tied down in Iraq. There’s no troops to throw at a major Iranian military force, so you have to hope that bombing will do the trick. The occupation forces in Iraq are in occupation and not territorial defense mode. And Iraq is 65% Shiites who are probably not going to be happy that you’re blowing up their brother Shiites. Meanwhile, the strait of Hormuz is so narrow that sinking one supertanker will block it indefinitely, and Iran borders the strait on three sides. Block Hormuz and any naval groups inside the Persian Gulf are trapped there. Any naval groups outside the Persian Gulf are trapped outside. Forget about any oil coming out of the Persian Gulf from Iraq, Kuwait, Quatar, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia or the UAE. Think about what that does to the price of oil, and to the world economy. Think about what that does to dependent countries like Japan, India, China and Europe.
In short its so appallingly stupid and colossally risky, that I can see why your idiots in charge might consider using nuclear weapons. But throw a few nukes around and see how the rest of the world reacts? Every dirt-wad country is going to be mortgaging the Presidential palace to get its own nuclear deterrent from Pakistan or North Korea. How do you feel about the Indonesian Bomb, the Malaysian Bomb, the Thai Bomb, the Myanmar Bomb, the Algerian Bomb, the Saudi Bomb, the Egyptian Bomb, the Brazilian Bomb, the Argentine Bomb, the Venezuelan Bomb, the Cuban Bomb, the Japanese Bomb, the Canadian frigging Bomb. You are no longer trustworthy. North Korea, always borderline psychotic is going to be mondo difficult to deal with. You’ve just guaranteed yourself a full fledged nuclear arms race, balls to the wall with both Russia and China, and quite possibly Europe.
And of course there’s no guarantee that the rest of the world will allow this. Do you want an armed standoff with the Russians. Suppose they ‘loan’ their finest interceptor jets, pilots and radar systems to the Iranians… Do you want to meet *that* on a bombing raid? And if you do meet *that* what are you going to do when half your planes are blasted out of the skies conducting an illegal raid on civilian populations in a foreign country? Cry? Send a harsh note?
Launch a first strike?
World goes boom. What happens if the Chinese decide to hold Taiwan and South Korea hostage? What do you do? Back off Iran or sell out East Asia?
Hell, in that kind of standoff, someone sneezes and its not going to matter who launched a first strike.
Or would you like an economic standoff, say with Europe, or with Japan and China. Suppose that the Europeans or Chinese decide “screw the worldwide depression, you assholes are just too dangerous to have around.” Trillions of dollars get dumped on the market, loans get called in, the bottom drops out of your dollar, its thousand per cent inflation and no manufacturing base and your own trade embargoes. So much for America.
I mean, its morally wrong, its stupid on every level. And yet here you are discussing why maybe you should get out in front of the Republicans on this, or planning your surrender to Bush. Why are you even discussing this?
What is wrong with America?
[Brainshrub links to the following counterpoint, which we gratefully include:]
BOMB IRAN BEFORE. . .
By J. Grant Swank, Jr.
MichNews.com
Feb 13, 2006The United States must head off the annihilation of all mankind by Iranian killers. That means bombing Iranian nuclear sites.
If crazed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gets ahead of the freedom game, we’re done in.
Nothing will stop that Allah fanatic from bombing the world. He anticipates the return of his messiah when the world is in flames. This is the first time that a nuclear power has been wedded to a cultic creed. It has to be stopped or there will be no future to the world.
Free people have no other choice right now.
The world peace community has never before been faced with such threats as coming from millions of insane cultic Islamics. They mean business. Obviously with the numerous suicides, they don’t care if they die. Therefore, the Iranian President will doom his own with nuclear destruction in order for his males to inhabit Allah’s eternal orgy. To hell with the females.
In any case, the Islamics win while the non-Muslims are annihilated. Therefore, free countries cannot depend upon councils, meetings, dialogue, treaties or anything of the sort. Cultic creeds don’t tolerate that kind of ordeal. Cults are married to their deranged convictions, no matter what.
Therefore, free nations are not relating to another politic. They are now face-to-face with a killer mass intent on proving Allah to be supreme; therefore, the world must bow down to Islamics or perish. Before that comes to a head, the United States must obliterate the Iranian nuclear sites.
According to news.Telegraph’s Philip Sherwell in Washington, this is not far-fetched. Already, the Pentagon and Central Command and Strategic Command strategists are drawing up blueprints for “submarine-launched ballistic missile attacks. . .to block Teheran’s efforts to develop an atomic bomb.”
Time is of the essence. No lagging. Get to it.
Iranian senior cleric, Ahmad Khatami, baited his mosque worshipers on Friday with ridding the Earth of the United States. He told them no longer to shout “Death to Denmark” but “Death to America.” He charges that America is responsible for everything bringing on ills to Islamics.
He charged that America must fall because it has been shamed by the Hamas win, the sectarian fighting in Iraq and the puzzlement as to what to do with the Iranian nuclear threats. This kind of baiting will heighten. It will not slacken. These global protests will not be merely a week’s news event. They will envelop the planet.
This will spike the egocentric, eccentric Iranian leadership’s determination all the more to hasten with nuclear stockpiles. Russia is providing resources for that now. As well, Russia plays diplomatic games with Hamas. I believe this is Russia playing on the side of the power leverage Islamics have when shouting Islam world rule.
What Russia does not understand is the demonic theology Russia is talking to. Russia does not understand that Muslims have no toleration for non-Muslims, including hand-shaking Russians. So Russians will make entrees toward Islamics who will in turn slaughter every Russian on the planet.
There is absolutely no peace making with Muslims. US President George W. Bush has tried it with placing the Koran in the White House library this winter, all celebrating at a banquet there for Muslim men and women. How will that finally tally for peace?
Washington DC governmental agencies have welcomed into their offices in the last several weeks representatives from the Council on American-Islamic Relations. Why? To placate them about the surveillance network checking out Muslim locales. How will that finally tally for peace.
At the same time, Washington is projecting bombing Iranian nuclear sites before the cultists play juggling acts with the bomb. May it not be too late.
Copyright © 2006 by J. Grant Swank, Jr.
Is Your Entire Country on Crack?
I am offended.
Oh no!
You’re Offended? Think of how we furriners must feel. Just like that Canadian guy, trust me.
The USA is being run and plundered by a bunch of thugs and murderers and progressive people opposed to these serial killers argue about gay marriage?
I don’t understand why you aren’t all saying to your congressvarmints that you will not vote for them ever if they don’t stop this shit immediately.Marches, protests, demos are drastically needed.Have you guys never heard of strike action? Stop the country before it stops you.
C’mon already. We’re all scared but you are the only ones that can make a difference.Please.
Maybe Grant will change his tune if we send a strapping young Iranian teen to bunk with him…
Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the newest members of our happy little family: World Wars Three and Four.
I am looking forward to our new life together.
I’m also offended. What’s up with this Den Vandron? It’s not as if we’re planning to nuke Canada this year.
PS: suezboo, it’s an inside joke.
And really, humor is all we have left. We have no power over these guys. They do what they want.
Oh, OK. I have been reading here for a while, so I am still catching up on all the inside jokes. I love you guys’ humour, but I am truly terrified of what your Govt may be planning.
Whadda ya mean – no power? You still have your vote.And , I seem to recall from way back, from antiVietnam War marches, Million Man March, Dr ML King, The March for womens’ Lives etc etc, you can still show your deep displeasure on the streets. I’d call for a general strike – the Hispanics would do it for immigration reform, the rest for No G-Ddamn War !We did it , the French did it – what’s wrong with you Yanks?Huh?
Proud South African
is anyone noticing a pattern here? get the media to hype up the threat, making conflict seem inevitable. provoke the “enemy” at every turn. draw up plans for war publicly before even discussing various options. fool us once…
See also: Global Muslim Smackdown v. 2.0
I just don’t know what we’re going to do, Suezboo. Right now I just feel stunned, speechless, horrified. Every time those psychopaths do something, I think, “That’s it, that’s the lowest they can go.” And every time, they go about 12 stories lower. It just defies belief.
Nothing will stop that Allah fanatic from bombing the world. He anticipates the return of his messiah when the world is in flames.
Replace Allah with Jesus and boom, you got Swank and friends.
“Are all you Americans out of your cotton picking minds?”
I am offended. References to slavery just like Amos and Andy might – heelarious.
We’re all scared but you are the only ones that can make a difference.
That’s a sweet, but hopelessly out of date, sentiment.
See, you’re assuming this is a democracy of some sort. I heard it used to be, once upon a time, but personally I have a hard time imagining it.
the Dark Wraith has a good post on this whole situation. It’s a good primer on this whole situation.
http://dark-wraith.com/
And, by the way. No, our entire country is not on crack. It’s on meth.
Umm…hate to point this out, but there are hundreds and hundreds of words up there, and I’ll be damned if I can find one reference to the fact that ISRAEL HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS and HAS NOT SIGNED THE NON-PROLIFERATION TREATY. You think that might be at all relevant? Just sayin…
The fact is that Iran is a threat to world stability and I applaud the Bush administration for its aggressive policy against the evil ideology of the Muslim.
Democrats are not serious about defending this country if they are not willing to drop a nuclear bomb on Iran. How can America feel safe when Islamists have nuclear weapons?
I know that Iran is dangerous because I got a letter from Ken Mehlman about them.
a little shrill, no?
Israel may have nukes but if they do it’s to protect against governments who want them wiped off the face of the earth….can anyone name a country that wants Israel wiped out and has stated as much?
I’ll give you a hint, they love to chant “Death to America” and the name of the country rhymes with “crazy nutbar shi’ite theocracy.”
Whadda ya mean – no power? You still have your vote.
I suspect some of us have a fear at this point that if we all DID get our shit together and vote these jokers out, it wouldn’t really matter.
Because they might not go.
What did Ken Mehlman’s dangerous Iran letter say? I didn’t get one. I think my postman has a substance abuse problem and loses mail.
According to the “Bush Doctrine” of “Pre-emptive War” against countries that sound as if they might someday attack you, we are now a legitimate target for Iranian attack.
Therefore we must attack Iran before they implement the doctrine that Bush created. Therefore, now that under the “Bush Doctrine” Iran has every right to attack us, this increases the possibility that they will attack us, and therefore, under the “Bush Doctine”, we have to attack them first.
What’s with the “you people” tag? I didn’t vote for that little shrub. I would never condone the use of force against a country that “might” or “maybe” anything. There is no democracy left in the U.S.
We sold it to China.
we’re forgetting something here. (or maybe we never remembered it.) iran was ALWAYS what this was all about. we gave aid to the madman saddam so he could fight iran. when he turned on us, we invented a reason to conquer his country, so we could use it as a springboard against iran. the evening of 9/11, rumsfeld was on record saying the attacks provided the opening to invade iraq, not afghanistan. it’s simply a tenet of the bush I holdovers running this administration that we lost iran, and we need to get it back; it’s the worldwide symbol of islamic nationalism.
Well, a few things;
1. We don’t actually get to vote for a new President for another couple of years, and we still haven’t done our Congressional voting for this year. For all you know, we WILL vote these lunatics out of office.
2. We’re a very isolated country; problems in Europe are abstract, hard to understand, and seem too far away to get concerned about. Sorry, but it’s true; Most of the people I know don’t even have enough money to take a week-long vacation over there.
3. We aren’t actually as rich as you might think. Health insurance, for example, is provided by the company you work for, and if you don’t have it you are MASSIVELY screwed.
Given that there are several hundred million people out there looking to take your job, combined with the fact that if you lose it, there is very little infrastructure out there to support you, a boycott over national policy, especially one whose effects you won’t feel for several years, and even then only if a very specific series of events take place, doesn’t seem very palatable.
4. A variety of social forces I don’t want to go too in-depth about have neutered our press and made the national dialogue more and more authoritarian. This, combined with long-ass work-hours, makes for a society that may not even realise there’s anything worth getting worked up about.
I don’t want to excuse all this behavior too much, but asking why we don’t just get rid of these imbeciles is a bit like asking why the Chinese don’t just overthrow the communists.
You seemed to be reviling against all the citizens of the U.S. here. Many of us are well aware of and detest the situation in the ME more than you do. (as if that were possible). We (reasonable people) are not in charge of Jack squat around here any more than you are the Czar of Manitoba. We are doing the best we can under the circumstances. We are up shit creek without a paddle and no canoe either IMO. Intense assholization is killing this planet and the US wrecking the world economy, what do you want me to do about it? Do you think that if America is devastated in a war that anyone will lift a finger to help us rebuild? Everyone hates us, I know, I get it, I complain about it all the time. If you want to bitch pick on the freaks at LGF for pity’s sake. Is it my fault that the most of the current citizenry and leadership lacks any moral compass or vision for the future? Or that they have failed to plan? Hell, most people don’t even know there is a problem! This is a big country with still a lot of potential for good but we have lost our way. How many times do I have to say it? “We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by…” Sadly, we are on the wrong track now, and running out of rail, but, we muddle on. You can berate us all you want here but I think your aim is a little off in this case.
Oh, please, don’t misunderstand me – I certainly dont hold you good folks responsible for the evils the US administration undertakes.I know only too well how many Americans hate and despise their leadership for their actions.
My only question is : These people are threatening the whole world with war – what are you guys on the “inside”,as it were, going to do about it?
Are you talking to me? ’cause I think you were. What do I plan to do about it? I plan to die, right along with everyone else when this madman/spoiled little fratboy gets done stroking his missile in the Oval Office and finally finishes with his war on all of humanity. What the heck do you want me to do?
Manitoba… that’s the big one just west of center, isn’t it? I think I may be the Czar of Manitoba. I won it in a cereal box contest a couple of years back, and just haven’t collected yet.
I wuz gonna say Nova Scotia. I had to look at an atlas to find Canada and then I picked one spot that looked really pitiful and said voila! I have found it!
Swank:
“The United States must head off the annihilation of all mankind by Iranian killers”
Sounds like he thinks this is a race to end the world and he wants the US to win it.
Like what, I might ask?
Christopher tackled most of this as well as I ever could, but if I might add my own observations:
Marches and letter writing doesn’t do shit unless you’ve got huge numbers and a decade or so (see: Civil Rights Movement), and that’s with a cause that is straightforward in how it applies to the population, whereas the Middle East is much more abstract and distant.
Next, most Americans wouldn’t describe their disagreement with the administration in such strong terms- “they” don’t “hate” our government, with certain members of present company excepted. “We” strongly disagree with it and wish to go in a differant direction, which will be accomplished via the vote, both this fall and in two years. It’s how our system works, and my suspicion is that the only thing short of nuking Iran that would provoke a massive civil disorder would be if the system were to be overtly flouted, as opposed to the cheating that occurs on the local level every year.
Realistically speaking, I have severe doubts that we’ll do anything to Iran- more likely that this tactical nuke thing is a leak to intimidate the Iranians (not that we shouldn’t be pissed at this idiotic, hamfisted move, of course). Why? Because we don’t have the logistic resources to deal with the Iranians; because if we strike, they’ll invade Iraq, plain and simple, and they’ll do a lot of damage which we can’t afford.
This administration may do stupid things, but (partisan posturing and partisan paranoia aside), they aren’t that insane.
If they are, then I’ll eat my hat- though we’ll have bigger problems, I suspect.
Sounds like he thinks this is a race to end the world and he wants the US to win it.
That is, perhaps, the best way I’ve ever heard that particular wingnut position put.
Congrats.
“Realistically speaking, I have severe doubts that we’ll do anything to Iran- more likely that this tactical nuke thing is a leak to intimidate the Iranians (not that we shouldn’t be pissed at this idiotic, hamfisted move, of course). Why? Because we don’t have the logistic resources to deal with the Iranians; because if we strike, they’ll invade Iraq, plain and simple, and they’ll do a lot of damage which we can’t afford.
This administration may do stupid things, but (partisan posturing and partisan paranoia aside), they aren’t that insane.
If they are, then I’ll eat my hat- though we’ll have bigger problems, I suspect.”
GG, I adore you, so, as fedoras tend not to go down too easily, would you like some au jus with that?
Because let’s face it, hasn’t the entire history of this administration been one of us saying “Well yeah they’re stupid/corrupt/evil/absurd, but surely not enough to do x” right up until the moment that they in fact do x?
Will we nuke Iran? Probably not.
Will we declare war on Iran? I got a sixpack and a pizza up against anybody who says we won’t.
It is going to be – with any luck – the final act of braindead desperation from a braindead, desperate administration.
It just might trigger WWIII.
And all I can say to the rest of the world is that I’m really, really sorry. Our government hasn’t listened to us in a very long time. We’re not lucky enough to have a parliamentary system that forces a certain degree of cooperation between parties and tends to drive extremist tendencies toward the sidelines. We have a “winner take all” system, which pretty much reduces our political arenea to the equivalent of a professional wrestling arena, where the more extreme your rhetoric is, the more you get “your side” psyched up to vote for you. You get politicians, we get Gorgeous George and Randy “Macho Man” Savage.
We have an educational system that does absolutely zero to encourage any sort of critical thinking, and we have an entertainment industry that does everything in its power to make us as stupid and materialistic as possible, so that we are willing to buy more of the stupid shit they advertise to us all the time, so that the networks can charge more money for advertising time, because it’s more valuable to advertise to morons than it is to educated consumers.
Our hatred for paying taxes is pathological enough that I am forced to conclude your average American really does think that paved roads, medicine, and well trained doctors and teachers really do grow on trees.
We’re all trying the best we can with the big, stinky mess we’ve been dealt, so if you aren’t from this country the only thing I can say is that maybe you could talk to your governments and try to get them to ignore us until we learn how to play nicely with the other countries? Isolate us a bit, give us a nice, global “time out” until we mature some?
I promise you that I won’t hold it against you guys…tough love is sometimes the best love.
Oh, and the fact that the best answer I can give to the question “Will we nuke Iran” is “probably not’ has me feeling pretty nauseated right now, too.
Once upon a time, I lived in the Land of the Sane, where the answer to that question was a bout of laughter so hard, you had to wipe the tears out of your eyes aftewards.
I miss that place.
And also- despite my usual aversion to triple-posts, I would like to point out that we are not on Crack, but are in fact smoking weed. It’s making us mellow while our government does stuff we might otherwise object to.
Anyone else for some twinkies and Cheetos?
GG, I adore you, so, as fedoras tend not to go down too easily, would you like some au jus with that?
Please- and should I take white or red wine with it, I wonder?
Because let’s face it, hasn’t the entire history of this administration been one of us saying “Well yeah they’re stupid/corrupt/evil/absurd, but surely not enough to do x” right up until the moment that they in fact do x?
True, though recently, it seems, we’ve been managing to defeat much of the things that fall into the insane catagory- immagration and social security “reform”s being prime examples. I don’t think they’ll be able to swing war with Iran in the current climate, especially with the midterm elections both coming up and with their probable result of narrowing the gap in Congress, but I’m not certain enough of that to say anything more definate than “probably”.
But Jillian is correct- the fact that one has to say probably not is deeply saddening.
I hope to collect that six-pack and pizza, by the way. I like Old Style if it is to go with pizza, and a nice pepperoni would be lovely- preferably from Pizzaria Uno in Chicago, if you can swing it.
GG, if we manage to head off this stupid, stupid, misbegotten and horrendously depressing attempt at yet another blankety blank war in the Middle East, I’ll be so goshdarned happy I’ll drive to your house and deliver the pizza personally. With a kiss on the cheek to go with it.
I’m almost depressed enough about this to start praying. And I’ve been an atheist since I was eight.
Jillian rules.
I’m almost depressed enough about this to start praying. And I’ve been an atheist since I was eight.
Probably couldn’t hurt… God might find it a good indicator of the situation if even atheists started praying.
And I’ll be sure to split the beer with you when you show up- I pride myself on being a good host.
I’m almost depressed enough about this to start praying. And I’ve been an atheist since I was eight.
Probably couldn’t hurt… God might find it a good indicator of the situation if even atheists started praying.
And I’ll be sure to split the beer with you when you show up- I pride myself on being a good host.
Annieangel,
Don’t you have U.S classified documents to hand over to your handlers at the Israeli Embassy?
Quickly now…
I don’t know about the rest of you homos, but I’m going to enjoy a big plate of fried eggs with a side of FREEDOM BACON as I watch our proud B-52s turn Iran into a sheet of glass. Woo-hoo! Freedom is on the march!
Will we declare war on Iran?
pardon me, but the US hasn;t declared war on shit except abstract non-nations since vietnam. there will be no declaration of war. there will be a brief invasion, followed by the end of the world. that is all.
Hey, there’s an election in November. Gotta bomb something. Worked in 2002 & 2004.
Aside from the probability that Commander Coo-Coo Bananas is likely to start any war he’s interested in starting before Congressional elections this fall, since he thinks it’ll give the Rethuglicans a boost in the polls (and, sadly, he’s probably right-we’re Pavlovian that way), regardless, he doesn’t have to go to Congress to authorize a nuclear strike! He could, in theory, order one at any time against any country between now and when and if he leaves office. I’m not convinced he won’t, potential millions of deaths not being the least concern for him. In fact, sometimes I get the feeling that he is trying to precipitate a literal Armageddon so that Jeebus can come back, Swank was wrong when he called Iran the first country lead by foaming-at-the-mouth zealots. We are.
Didn’t anybody notice our world-famous troll signed himself as “Gay Ruppert”?
That wasn’t really Gary, methinks. And, while semi-nicjacking really P.O.ed a certain Dr. Sammich (you know of whom I speak), I don’t think it’ll penetrate Gary’s thick skull.
America has become a theocracy. The religious right has multiplied and waxed in power. Over 20% of Americans are positive the rapture will come in their lifetime, another 20-some percent think it is “likely”. That’s ~45% of the country that thinks god is going to come down and whisk them up to heaven, where they get to munch popcorn and watch 1,000 years of shit happen on earth, sort of the ultimate reality show.
Armageddon is coming, baby, so we need to pre-position armies in the Middle East. Who cares about global warming? Folks are going to be raptured right out of their socks long before they have to worry about it. Peak oil? You don’t need oil in heaven. National debt? Shit, the last check you write should be to the undertaker, and it should bounce!
And it’s 1-2-3 what are we fighting for?
Don’t ask me I don’t give a damn.
Next stop is nuke Iran.
Whoopee! We’re all gonna die!
BTW, in all seriousness, Iran is nuts if they don’t develop nukes. We’ve pushed them in a corner and left them no other option. Also, they can see how North Korea is treated. Get nukes and your status instantly goes up. They can also see what’s happening in Iraq. It is no coincidence that Iran has got bolder about thumbing their noses at the US lately.
All this will have no impact on Bush, of course. That’s all “reality based.” Bush is faith based. He makes his own reality. Bush has a solid 35% of the country behind him. The Nazis had less, and look what they were able to accomplish.
I thought of one other thing that I way not have made clear to all you foreigners earlier:
Our President absolutely does not give a fuck what we think.
He also seemed a LOT less crazy back in 2000. If you had asked if he would’ve invaded Iraq back then, I would’ve said, “Hell no, it’s a bad idea and it would hurt his party”.
Since then, however he has demonstrated that he is going to do what he is going to do, no matter what people think, and no matter how much it hurts him.
Our only chance, short of armed revolution, is to influence him indirectly, through congress.
Marches won’t faze him, and to be honest, I don’t even think a nationwide strike would stop him.
I hope I’ve aided in fostering an understanding between cultures.
Yecch, I an unused to reading entire Swankathons. To read his complete output for one day (5-7 columns!) would likely be fatal in its concentrated stupidity. Nonetheless, I think this calls for a QuikFiskâ„¢…
Nothing like taking a “threat” that’s already over-hyped and inflating it some more. A whole lot more. Personally, a nuclear-armed Iran doesn’t overly much worry me, other than that the more nuclear weapons there are in existence, the more likely they are to be used by someone, eventually. To date, the most worrisome situation in nuclear arms and their potential usage is between India and Pakistan, and that situation was worse in the ’90s. ‘Course, Shrub has gone and stirred that up, too.
Huh? Wot the hell is God-boy talking about here? This sentence would have made just as much sense if he had inserted his lovely “freedom spread” where he has “freedom game.” Which is to say, little-to-none.
Um, Swankmeister? Isn’t this also true of you? Justaskin’.
Um, noooooo… You see, Grant, free people usually have near-infinite choices. So, if that’s our only choice, we either aren’t free, or you’re lying. Or, both. No false dichotomy here!
Which explains Chimpy’s rush to war, yet again. Brings to mind the saying about insanity is defined by doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.
Again, what the hell? Does anyone know what Pastor Semi-literate was trying to say here, ‘cos I sure don’t.
Silly Swank–neither will the Latino ones.
Because none of the former Soviet Republics have turned out to be heavily Muslim. And then, there’s Chechnya. Gosh, those Russkies sure are ignorant! I’ll bet they don’t even remember their little frolic in Afghanistan!
Hey, Mr. “Who would Jeebus bomb?”, was that a question or a statement? Oh, and BTW, starting wars, particularly nuclear ones, never tallies for peace, dumbass.
Yecch, I an unused to reading entire Swankathons.
Don’t feel bad Marq- like me, you value your sanity far too much to subject your brain to such stress.
Your point was rendered meaningless by your reference to the drug crack. Perhaps you meant crank?
Can you get any of your sane neighbours South of The Border to get the nuclear trigger out of the hand of that GD MF Born Loser, their crazy Emperor George II, before another one of his delusions of grandeur wipe out Western Civilization and get us all killed. Fighting a war with Iran is one thing (and an unwise thing at that) but making your own defeat certain before you attack is downright idiotic!
By the way, you mentioned Iranian attitudes to 9/11, al-Q, Saddam H, etc. Thought nobody had noticed.
Can you get any of your sane neighbours South of The Border to get the nuclear trigger out of the hand of that GD MF Born Loser, their crazy Emperor George II, before another one of his delusions of grandeur wipe out Western Civilization and get us all killed. Fighting a war with Iran is one thing (and an unwise thing at that) but making your own defeat certain before you attack is downright idiotic!
By the way, you mentioned Iranian attitudes to 9/11, al-Q, Saddam H, etc. Thought nobody had noticed.
Marq – what was the semi name-jacking that got the good doctor underpants twisted?
Was it all teh l4m3’s fault?
I think you are right about Gary. I’ve seen his name jacked before, and he was back in the same thread with nary a comment about the theft.
Personally, I think if you open yourself up to obvious parody the way certain trolls do, then name-stealing is fair game, but I am hardly a blog ethicist.
Finally, if Bush does drop nukes on Iran, does that render Godwin’s law inoperable? (what I mean is that given the horrific casualties, do comparisons between Bush and Hitler finally become relevant?)
There were a number of faked nics a few months ago, all of them pertaining to Doc You-Know-Who. One of them was identicle, except it either had or didn’t have periods with the initials (I forget how he does it). Another was the same as his, except the addendum, “The $ong Blogger,” (sub ab S for the $), which was changed to “The Bong Blogger.” Etc. There were many. Some of them were actually over the line in what they said, though I realize that the doc can be pretty irritating himself. (I do not type out the doc’s handle, ‘cos he googles himself, and chum+ocean=shark)
OK, you know, I read this bog for Teh Funny, for a good larf, and now this post has gone and frightened me out of my ever-lovin’ gourd.
I want my money back.
Smoke ’em if you got ’em, gang.
On a personal note, I’d just like to thank the Bush voters for saving me the trouble of killing myself, which I always sort of figured I’d have to do eventually.
Fatalism: It’s not just for goths and philosophy majors anymore.
Seriously, Jillian, I don’t pray either. I fold cranes. Give it a try. Instructions and paper patterns here:
http://www.e22.com/peacecrane/
Sadako story here:
http://www.sadako.org
All of this has been terribly thought-provoking and quite educational (even for this American), but allow me to throw a kink into the conversation….
no matter how much the public may disapprove; no matter who’s in control of Congress come 2007 doesn’t matter!
King George does what King George wants to do. This is no longer a democracy!
Let’s just hope someone can keep the football away from him until Jan. 2009.
Besides, I just hate it when my brother says, “I smoke, but you can’t…the second-hand smoke is bad for me.”
We Muricans love splosions!
We cannot allow a mineshaft gap!
Sidhe, one of my favorite birthday presents to give is a pretty vase or bowl filled with paper cranes. The bowl is the present, and the cranes are just a gift of love and a hope for peace.
I’m glad to see other people doing it as well.
When things are this screwed up, I just feel like anything at all helps.
suezbo:
Haven’t the past two presidential elections shown you guys that our votes mean nothing anymore? What we need is a crack team of five-year-old computer wizards to hack into Diebold’s databases and change the election results like the other side’s been doing for almost seven years now.
I agree that the only real social change is made in the streets and not in the office, but in higher education they teach us that that stuff is “impractical” and won’t get us jobs, so nobody listens and joins the econ department.
http://beam.to/youngteenboy/ young teen boy/