The Central Tenets of the Blogosphere
Posted on January 27th, 2004 by
As posted by World O’Crap, in the comments for this post:
The Central Tenets of the Blogosphere:
- Don’t write under an alias, because it would hinder your efforts to gain credibility by bragging about your days as a real journalist.
- Don’t read what you link to — even if it could prevent you from making misstatements about said linked item — because it only wastes your valuable time.
- Keep your readers in suspense by changing your opinion every sentence or two about whether Bush has endorsed the amendment to ban gay marriage.
- Have frequent funding drives in which you mention how expensive it is be read by a trillion* readers a year. (* Don’t worry about providing the actual readership stats — everybody in the blogosphere lies about that kind of thing.)
- Pout if anybody criticizes you.
- Practice questionable sexual ethics.
- Make fun of John Derbyshire whenever possible.
As WOC asked us, How many of those tenets do you follow?
Actually I follow a lot of these — number 1 and 7, no question (Derb-bashing is fun and good for the prostate).
Unfortuantely I do read (however inattentively) what I link to, and I haven’t tried a tip jar since two years ago, when my only contributor was a friend who needed the money worse than I did (and that’s saying something).
I do pout, though, and while my sexual ethics are unquestionable, for me sex itself is often a great big question mark (and no, I’m not talking about Peyronie’s Disease), so maybe if I applied myself (or thrust an icepick deeeep into my skull) I could someday attain the Sullivanian ideal.
Unfortunately, I am too busy following the examples of my imaginary mentors, Robert Benchley and Ludwig the Mad King of Bavaria, to ever commence such a project. Your loss, blogosphere!