The Central Tenets of the Blogosphere

As posted by World O’Crap, in the comments for this post:

The Central Tenets of the Blogosphere:

  1. Don’t write under an alias, because it would hinder your efforts to gain credibility by bragging about your days as a real journalist.
  2. Don’t read what you link to — even if it could prevent you from making misstatements about said linked item — because it only wastes your valuable time.
  3. Keep your readers in suspense by changing your opinion every sentence or two about whether Bush has endorsed the amendment to ban gay marriage.
  4. Have frequent funding drives in which you mention how expensive it is be read by a trillion* readers a year. (* Don’t worry about providing the actual readership stats — everybody in the blogosphere lies about that kind of thing.)
  5. Pout if anybody criticizes you.
  6. Practice questionable sexual ethics.
  7. Make fun of John Derbyshire whenever possible.

As WOC asked us, How many of those tenets do you follow?


Comments: 1


Actually I follow a lot of these — number 1 and 7, no question (Derb-bashing is fun and good for the prostate).

Unfortuantely I do read (however inattentively) what I link to, and I haven’t tried a tip jar since two years ago, when my only contributor was a friend who needed the money worse than I did (and that’s saying something).

I do pout, though, and while my sexual ethics are unquestionable, for me sex itself is often a great big question mark (and no, I’m not talking about Peyronie’s Disease), so maybe if I applied myself (or thrust an icepick deeeep into my skull) I could someday attain the Sullivanian ideal.

Unfortunately, I am too busy following the examples of my imaginary mentors, Robert Benchley and Ludwig the Mad King of Bavaria, to ever commence such a project. Your loss, blogosphere!


(comments are closed)