Why Do You Think There Are Two O’s in Google, Huh? Huh??
Lately most of the wingnutosphere has been all torn up about a YouTube video showing one class in one school in East Wastedump, N.J., singing one time seven months ago one song with the word “Obama” in it. This is, apparently, a precursor to the terrible moment when all children on the planet will start chanting “We Are Coming” which, in turn, is a precursor to the arrival of the “456” aliens, who come from the planet where Obama was really born and who want to take conservative children back with them to their planet. So let’s give a warm round of applause to Renew America superstar Selwyn Duke for pushing this meme even further into the realm of black helicopters, mind control transmissions to radios surreptitiously implanted in tooth fillings, and secret messages hidden in the lyrics of Britney Spears songs.
YouTube caught red-handed cooking stats for Obama
By Selwyn DukeNews aggregator DrudgeReport.com is currently linking to a YouTube video of a government schoolteacher instructing young students to praise Obama in song. While this is shocking, there is an even bigger story here. Consider this: the video’s “views” counter listed only 363 views as of 1:04 p.m. EST on Sept. 24.
But at the same time it had 2,279 comments.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Well I guess since each person viewing the video wouldn’t have left 6.27823 comments, this must be irrefutable proof that the Obamaniacs are monkeying with the statistics for some nefarious purpose.
But why would YouTube cook the statistical books?
Because the exposure a video receives is based on its number of views. And YouTube — owned by leftist leviathan Google — wants to suppress negative information about Barack Obama and the left in general.
Of course, it would have been a whole lot easier, and wouldn’t have left evidence behind that super-sleuth Selwyn Duke could discover, if the leftist leviathan had just deleted the video entirely, but bear with Selwyn a few minutes more.
So I tracked the video a bit … . Now, remember that it had 363 hits at 1:04 p.m. Here’s what I found.
* Approximately 1:25 p.m.: the video still supposedly had only 363 hits but had 2,500 comments.
* 1:39 p.m.: still only 363 hits but 2,668 comments.
* 2:16 p.m.: 363 hits but 3,018 comments.
You get the idea.
So let’s track the video ourselves. Oh dear. 684,940 views at 12:42 p.m. on September 26. Now before all you mean-spirited and hateful liberals start snickering about what a buffoon Selwyn is, did you consider that maybe Google actually read Selwyn’s column and tried to cover up its own dastardly deed? Well, did you? And what’s up with 684,940 anyway? Everyone knows that by now that video has had to have had at least eleventy-billion views. If not more.
Encore, Selwyn! Encore!!
[When] a Britney Spears video titled “Circus” … was issued late last year, it was immensely popular and was prominently featured by YouTube . . . . Yet it quickly was “disappeared.” What was its trespass?
It featured circus animals.
The obvious conclusion is that YouTube’s commissars received complaints from animal-rights wackos — and these were reflected in the video’s comments section, actually — and decided it wasn’t fit for young, impressionable eyes.
In his next column, Selwyn will uncover the plot by the socialist supermarket chain Safeway to remove teabags from its shelves in an effort to discredit patriotic teabaggers everywhere in order to protect the illegitimate Negro regime running the country.
Obviously, “Safeway” is a veiled reference to “safe sex”, which is a shibboleth of the gay agenda pushers and the comprehensive sex-ed leviathan.
This is central to my point.
Good Christ! This will be bigger than the Google scandal! Because Google is “blocking the worlds largest archive of information about the negative impact of illegal immigration on American citizens from view via false warnings of Malware ,” and because “it is becoming obvious that Google has no particular love for this country,” and…
Hold on. Why did Google allow me to find that information?
Similarly, why is the video repository of 70 gazillion Obama=Hitler videos wasting its time manipulating meaningless statistics for one video?
Say, did you see those pictures of Obama smiling? Ha ha! He’s Hitler and a robot!
This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions.
See? SEE?! Censorship!!!
Tune in tomorrow, when Detective Selwyn discovers socialism in his bowl of Spaghetti-Os.
Also, Google search results contain a warning that Orly Taitz’ website is a source of malicious downloads. Obviously, the lefty leviathan is trying to silence America’s last desparate hope of preventing a Socialist Obamacoup from taking place.
This, found while looking up mah linky, made me laugh.
Please allow me to bask just for a minute in the fantasy that there is some “leftist leviathan” out there cooking the news in our direction, to counteract all the FAUX News and FAUX Lite disinformation channels all over the airwaves and cable and print….
No, I can’t do it. But then, I’mnot insane like the wingnuts.
Bonus points for the Torchwood reference. Does “Yes, we can” = “We are coming?”
Tune in tomorrow, when Detective Selwyn discovers socialism in his bowl of Spaghetti-Os.
Spaghetti-O‘s? A Franco-American product? Clearly, this company was founded with the intention to bring European (specifically French) style socialism to the United States. Maybe Barack Obama’s original birth certificate is locked in their company vaults, along with their secret recipes for red sauce. While I’m at it, what’s up with that Chef Boy-ar-dee guy anyway? I doubt that that’s his original name! What’s he hiding?
Thanks, BBBB! This will be added to my latest ‘screamcraps” collection.
~
“What’s he hiding?”
Isn’t it obvious? A turban under that toque. Wake UP.
Plus, isn’t it interesting that so-called “Italian” food is a Franco-American product? Ie, a product of the U.S.-co-opting French? Is spaghetti French? No. Isn’t it interesting that it’s originally Chinese? Of course, that’s something you won’t about in the New York Times, now, is it…
Google? More like Joogle.
Google is “leftist”? Well, their motto is “don’t be evil”, so I guess that makes them leftist by default.
OK, first off, you dirty hippie libs, Selwyn put the word, “disappear” in quotation marks, so he could’ve meant anything by it. In this case, he obviously intended the word to mean, “no disappeared.” Jeez, you filthy Yuppie libs are such literal thinkers.
Another thing, you freshly-shaven libs, the video has over 56 million views yet only about 129K comments. This is proof that Dr. Orly Taintz, Esq. III is correct that the radical left Google has no authentic birth certificate from the state of Hawaii. Put that in your lefty union pipe and smoke it you toilet paper using libs.
Thanks, BBBB! This will be added to my latest ’screamcraps” collection.
ittdgy, I live to serve!
Plus, isn’t it interesting that so-called “Italian” food is a Franco-American product?
They’re just trying to hide the fact that an Italian invented French cuisine, much like Google tries to hide the fact that it is totally in the tank for Barack Obama and the socialist agenda. If they can’t hide the fact, then they will do their best to degrade the reputation of la cucina d’Italia, much as Google, with it’s oppressive reliance on facts, is doing their best to destroy the conservative intellectual *snerk* tradition.
Google is “leftist”? Well, their motto is “don’t be evil”, so I guess that makes them leftist by default.
Google is theft.
Actually, maybe Duke hates it so much because it keeps a little record of reality that those hippy liberals keep shoving in his face.
Franco-American?
Fascist!!!
the exposure a video receives is based on its number of views.
So is Selwyn saying that every time he goes to view the video the view-stats he sees mean that no one is able to view the video?
Or does he think that when everyone goes to view the video the sight of the view-stats number convince people not to view the video? I’m confused.
Flunky: “Sir! I have to report that pesky kid Matt Drudge has posted a link to a video from one of our Government Schools. The footage of second-graders singing Our Leader’s praise is exposed!”
Rahm Emanuel: “What? This is a disaster! The exposure of small children singing songs about Our Leader will surely destroy our plans for world domination! I must stop this right away! Get me our spies at YouTube on the line, immediately!”
YouTube mole: “What can I do for you, master?”
Rahm: “Act quickly to avert a serious attack upon our scheme. I want you to make it appear that there are only 363 views of that video. This way, we’ll suppress it AND the devastating comments made by those meddling patriots at FreeRepublic, which, if viewed, will surely defeat our plans for world domination!”
YouTube mole: “Right away, sir!”
Flunky: “Brilliantly done, sir. Now our plans are safe.”
Rahm: “And not a moment too soon. You shall be rewarded for bringing this to my attention! I’ll make you chair of the Death Panel for Sarah Palin’s special needs child!”
g, you forgot the part in which Rahm Emmanuel instructs his flunky to edit the Freepers’ comments, inserting spelling and grammatical errors in an effort to make them look stupid.
in an effort to make them look stupid.
And what a strenuous effort it is, too.
Keep fucking that chicken, Selwyn.
Selwyn?!?!?!
Oh, “sell” + “win.” Obviously a fifth columnist from Amway.
Selwyn Duke: International Manatee of Mystery.
For the pool, put me in the 21:10 – 21:15 slot for the mandatory “Leave Britney Alone!” post.
Keep fucking that chicken, Selwyn.
That clip never fails to amuse! What the hell could Ernie Anastos have intended when he said that? *Does… not… compute*
At any rate, it deserves to become another internet tradition.
OT: yesterday, Westboro Baptist’s traveling band of Deliverance extras protested outside a high school in Brooklyn yesterday. Why? Because it was there, I guess. The kids showed ’em how it’s done.
Selwyn has just observed a phenomenon that comes up OFTEN in YouTube comments. Google holds the view count in the 300’s for several hours, or even a few days, after a video is posted, before switching over to a more realistic (and more frequently updated) number. I’ve heard that this is meant to prevent “fraud and abuse,” but I’m not sure how it does that.
Anyway, it’s only a conspiracy if the same conspirators are also hoping to make Fred, Shane Dawson, the “New Moon” trailer and circles of people doing the “Single Ladies” dance seem less popular.
“I’m getting a message in my Alphabits! It says ‘oooooo’!”
“Those are Cheerios”
“Single Ladies” parodies are the Silent Majority of YouTube!
So why is Fred Phelps protesting at a school in Brooklyn?
As far as I can tell: because Jews draw breath in New York.
Tata: Thanks for the link. That tech student’s sign at the bottom is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week.
The Kids Are Alright!
~
You know reading the WBC post on going to Brooklyn Tech it sounds like they thought it was going to be all black kids.
Tucker Carlson says, “Khmer Rouge!” Where’s the bow tie? How can I take what he says seriously if he’s not wearing the bow tie?
For months I thought that the Westboro Baptist Church website was a parody site. I thought it was made by the folks from the old whitehouse.org site. Anyway, tomottow you can catch them at St. Pauls Cathedral.
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html
At any rate, it deserves to become another internet tradition.
It has already been declared so by no less an authority than the New York Times, within 48 hours of the original broadcast.
I know, right? The Times they are a-changin’.
It has already been declared so by no less an authority than the New York Times, within 48 hours of the original broadcast.
It’s not a tradition until DaVid Broder signs off on it.
~
This link is a more direct route to the sign that I assume Specialist G is talking about (scroll down to third photo):
http://fort-greene.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/24/students-turn-out-and-westboro-leaves/
Pretty damn great, wouldn’t you say? Watch that kid get a job writing for Stewart or Colbert!
leave britney alone!
g said,
September 26, 2009 at 20:31 (kill)
…OK, that made me laugh for a good solid minute. And yet, this is probably the exact scenario Selwyn has in his mind when he writes about stuff like this.
BTW, Tintin, thanks for finding a pic of Selwyn Duke that isn’t his “American Stinker” pose.
Your cue was for 21:10!! Where the hell were ya!!
No-one could possibly have predicted that people would eventually be using The Paranoid Style as a How-To guide.
Shit, what country do you live in??? If they block you from seeing Britney Spears videos, I wanna move there!
Please tell me he was not paid a dime for that stupidity.
Please.
Dear Tintin, I found the use of the derogatory name East Wastedump, N.J. extremely offensive. For someone who purports to be an intelligent person, your use of stereotypical imagery re the state of New Jersey is beneath you. As a born and raised New Yorker who moved to NJ 25 years ago, I live in one the most beautiful towns in America. You might want to check your knowledge of our state as to income levels, education levels, etc., etc. As I used to tell my snobby New York friends, if it was good enough for Jackie O and Malcolm Forbes, it’s good enough for me.
BTW…where do you live?
Looks like the Palins have decided to expand their empire.
Watch for our latest release on Verve Records, “Pol Pot Sings the Barack Obama Songbook.”
Dear Tagg, as someone who moved to NJ 15 years ago, I find the name “East Wastedump, NJ” evocative of many of our state’s fine municipal shitholes and trashheaps.
I invite you to stick it up your ass and rotate,
N.C.
Also, too, when I hit up that communisticofascist indoctrination video with those kids, in the “related videos” section, one of them was Paralyzer by Finger Eleven. Now at first I was like WTF does that have to do with the worship of our beloved Hussein? And then it struck me–and my jaw still fucking hurts!–obviously it means that the Obamatrons want to “paralyze” our minds with their socialist hoodoo so they can take away our freedoms and shit, and wait, doesn’t it say in the bible that the antichrist will have an eleven fingers–or is that horns and a tail?–I haven’t read the thing lately. I mean have any of you ever really seen Obama’s fingers? Have you? And I bet if you play that song backwards, not only will the lyrics make more sense, it probably plays the Swahili National Anthem or something! Damn, I can’t wait to email my findings to Selwyn!
When did the Westboro creeps become openly anti-semitic?
They just get crazier every year.
Torchwood reference means you win.
Some time after the writing of the gospel of John I’d imagine.
Actually since this is my hometown being videotaped, I must take offense to the term, East Wastedump.
It is actually West Wastedump – the EWs are our hated rivals.
Don’t cry, don’t raise your eye. It’s only Eastern Wastedump.
BTW…where do you live?
All so, sammich, as well.
Ohhh, Westover Baptist. I keep confusing them with Landover Baptist even though Betty Bowers is far more coherent than Shirley Phelches-Roper.
Shirley Phelches-Roper.
Now Mr. Roper’s in a tizzy again.
As I used to tell my snobby New York friends, if it was good enough for Jackie O and Malcolm Forbes, it’s good enough for me.
So you don’t talk to them much anymore, hmm?
I won’t believe it until he conducts a recreation in his sandbox.
I simply don’t understand why no one yet has filled up a few knee-socks with horse manure and gravel and just gone and knocked the ever-lovin’ shit out of these Westboro space-wasters’ sewage-filled heads. I find myself wondering about this constantly.
This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions.
See? SEE?! Censorship!!!
I saw it. Oh lordy, why didn’t ya censor mine?!?
“Rahm Emanuel: “What? This is a disaster! The exposure of small children singing songs about Our Leader will surely destroy our plans for world domination! I must stop this right away! Get me our spies at YouTube on the line, immediately!””
Rahm Emanuel: “What the FUCK? This is a fucking disaster! The exposure of fuckingsmall children singing motherfucking songs about Our Fucking Leader will fucking destroy our motherfucking plans for world fucking domination! I must stop this motherfucking shit right away! Get me our fucking spies at that shit hole YouTube on the fucking line, Motherfuckers!”
fiqxt
I simply don’t understand why no one yet has filled up a few knee-socks with horse manure and gravel and just gone and knocked the ever-lovin’ shit out of these Westboro space-wasters’ sewage-filled heads. I find myself wondering about this constantly.
They used to show up in San Francisco quite a bit (mebbe still do, dunno) and what I remember is that the SFPD kept a pretty tight cordon around them to avoid the task of filling out the paperwork associated with a multiple assault/homicide crime scene.
Uhm, I’m pretty sure that Youtube only counts a video as “viewed” if you watch it all the way through, to completion. I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that was their policy.
So what Selwyn’s evidence really points to is that a whole bunch of people, in the comments, started screaming about how awful Obama was without actually watching the entire video.
Which tells us something, that’s for sure. But not about Youtube or Obama.
Ya know, that Torchwood episode was one of the few shows on TV that really make me feel seriously creeped out. It still kinda does.
Oh, and it wasn’t the aliens that made me want to lob an H-bomb. It was the humans in that episode who were the real aliens.
P,J I’ll be dammed. You jogged my memory in the right direction. Still, it is hard to tell the difference.
Actually, the old municipal dump is located about 400 yards from the school on the YouTube.
But the school is first-class and the teachers & administration are very competent.
And Tintin, all us Jerseyans don’t talk with our hands and flip the bird to every stranger, ya’ know.
YouTube caught red-handed cooking stats for Obama
Interesting. Another wingnut accuses a tree of murder.
oh, shit, gay patriot changed up his original text.
In the first 24 hours the YouTube view count for trap videos like this is aggregated up to FEMA camp zone based on viewers’ locations. After the IP addresses of negative commenters have been crosschecked against lists of known patriots the individual viewer count is displayed. It’s a pretty slick system if you ask me. Still, this video wasn’t supposed to be released yet and I hear Axelrod is pissed beyond reason. I love the guy but I don’t think it was right to deduct 50 points from each kid’s granite countertop rewards program account. It’s not their fault. I can only imagine how he’d be reacting if the video hadn’t been edited to end before their performance of the Vagina Monologues.
he conducts a recreation in his sandbox.
Jungian sandplay reference means the sandplay therapists win.
Unless “recreation” is a veiled reference to tonguejacking.
I know what town Tagg’s talking about: I grew up there. Anyone who talks about like he does is a yuppie in a McMansion for which developers bulldozed woods I used to walk through. Those posers couldn’t believe their good luck when Fortune declared it a great place, but to the rest of us it meant more bulldozers and more douchebags who care about status and keeping their kids from the very well integrated schools.
Lesley: Even the latest AP version of this story I saw has the chief investigator saying it’s “homicide, suicide, or accidental.”
The man’s hands were bound with duct tape and he was gagged and naked. Awfully intense autoerotic-asphyxiation accident, and the choice of location — backwoods national park in Kentucky, where the guy was conducting census work — seems rather odd. The scrawling of “fed” on his chest with felt-tip pen was just to cast aspersions on true patriots, I guess.
My thugtard local “news” “website” already has comments such as “Squeeel like a pig!” and “I suppose the commie libs think Glenn Bleck and George Bush did it” and “show me whar Rush ebber said annathang ’bout killin’ nobody.” I live in the town where the Unitarian church was shot up last year by a similarly intellect-challenged cretin.
I’m so sick of this shit I could vomit. So this is tonight’s excuse for drinking heavily, and I think it’s a pretty damn good one. Not that I need an excuse, but there it is.
Well YouTube *did* “disappear” a video of a class of preschoolers singing “Malking is a deranged vicious cunt”.
Oh, you just wouldn’t believe how cute they were. The hand gestures just made it incredibly special.
And by “disappear”, I mean “moved to an undisclosed location, available only to those with the sooper-sekret liberal decoder ring”.
Even the latest AP version of this story I saw has the chief investigator saying it’s “homicide, suicide, or accidental.”
Sounds like the chief investigator needs to be investigated.
Meanwhile, Michelle Malkin‘s rousing the hornets in her nest to sting over singing schoolchildren. Of course, if they were singing a Republican’s praises in biblical terms, she’d be calling them junior patriots.
Hey Leslie and others, go to Tbogg. He has the original gaytriot tree post.
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/
Jungian sandplay reference means the sandplay therapists win.
At least the cosplay therapists didn’t win!
So when does the Fighting 69th go into Kentuckistan to rout the Christaliban?
As someone who grew up in Jersey (nearest turnpike exit was #10 – New Brunswick), I did speak with my hands but I that is more to do with being half Italian than being born in Jersey.
I read a really interesting story on Westboro Baptist many years ago (I looked for a link in vain) that basically described how phelps went from conman to godman. I believe one of the local Topeka newspapers did the story.
I honestly did not know I, as a liberal, was supposed to hate the Circus. I guess “The Great Orange Satan” and Soros are to busy with the logistics of their little FEMA death camp project to shoot me a damn email. Fuckin nimrods. That’s it. I’m out of the club. I just wasted my time performing a gay marriage on a couple of aborted fetus’s for nothing. Way to energize the base guys.
Uh, hello? TalEvangicals are notoriously kinky. Just the sight of someone brandishing a crap filled sock would send the Phelchers into orgasm overdrive. Yuck.
Even the latest AP version of this story I saw has the chief investigator saying it’s “homicide, suicide, or accidental.”
I mentioned this in the last thread. I think there has to be intense political pressure (from way up high) to try and keep this incident from giving the state a permanent black eye. It probably can’t be contained, but people are going to try anyway.
And, a few people there may be wincing at the choice of “Unbridled Spirit” as the state’s marketing slogan.
I, as a liberal, was supposed to hate the Circus
Apart from the dancing donkey.
the choice of “Unbridled Spirit” as the state’s marketing slogan.
You know what else was unbridled?
Your donkey!
Needs work.
Was KY’s motto “unbridled spirit” inspired by the dancing donkey?
IOIYAR, of course. If Malkin’s profession was harassing Republicans instead of harassing Democrats, she’d be in jail by now.
Now, tut tut is the response and zero the score you earn from veterans like me of the national Press Corp for making any attempt to argue with this mans reasoned, logical facts. You have dismissed his accusations out of hand without attempting to understand where he is coming from — the Real Heart Of America. YouTube is obviously playing a dangerous game by not being balanced and objective in this case, and many others I could name. Just remember that true bipartisan sober analysis of the logical facts reals you to be poopyheads.
You know what else was unbridled?
Your donkey!
My ass!
Who you calling a poopyhead, Broder. You’re the poopyhead. I hear the jerk store called and they want their columnist back . . ur, or something.
Was KY’s motto “unbridled spirit” inspired by the dancing donkey?
No. The warming gel.
OK, The warming gel and the donkey.
Come to think of it, “unbridled spirit” would be a good slogan for KY Jelly. Also
I read a really interesting story on Westboro Baptist many years ago (I looked for a link in vain) that basically described how phelps went from conman to godman.
There’s a difference?
Apart from the dancing donkey.
I find these jokes at Paola’s expense to be in very poor taste. Poor thing is still traumatized!
I mean KY gel not good old fashioned Kentucky strawberry preserves. Just to be clear.
I think there has to be intense political pressure (from way up high) to try and keep this incident from giving the state a permanent black eye.
A “permanent black eye”?! We’re talking about Kentucky, for crissakes. It was born with a permanent black eye.
I think sometimes that my fellow citizens who have never lived in the South think Faulkner, Dickey and others invented the backwoods character. They did not. He is real. It’s the American heart of darkness down here. These creatures are good for laughs to a point, after which they are anything but laughable.
Exhibit A: One of the more intelligent examples of the Southern troglodyte “humans” to whom I was referring:
http://wonkette.com/411297/pissed-off-as-hell-obama-needs-to-be-inpeached
A “permanent black eye”?! We’re talking about Kentucky, for crissakes. It was born with a permanent black eye.
Yes. But them KY officials may not see it that way. What I’m trying (trying is hard) to say it that folks from Kentucky don’t want the rest of the country to see that much of the state still resides somewhere in the late 1800’s.
Exhibit A:
skoalrebel? Mmm-mmm. He’s a keeper.
I have to say that as a slogan, “Unbridled Spirit” sounds more suitable for a brand of condoms than for a state.
I cannot be arsed doing the research to see which state advertises itself with the words “Now Ridged for Greater Sensation”.
“Now Ridged for Greater Sensation”.
That’s West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains? Get it?
OT: yesterday, Westboro Baptist’s traveling band of Deliverance extras protested outside a high school in Brooklyn yesterday. Why? Because it was there, I guess. The kids showed ‘em how it’s done.
I walked by, I pointed, I laughed, I cried.
The kids from Tech were great. In a battle of wits and protesting, they were like Notre Dame playing the Little Sisters of Poverty and Penance.
I cannot be arsed doing the research to see which state advertises itself with the words “Now Ridged for Greater Sensation”.
Not Iowa. Their motto is “Smooth as Baby’s Ass.”
I cannot be arsed doing the research to see which state advertises itself with the words “Now Ridged for Greater Sensation”.
Several states are vying.
GOCART MOZART!!!
THIS IS
SPARTAAPPALACHIA!!No, I’m alright, I’ll just be here in my crying corner.
Don’t mind me.
That’s West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains? Get it?
I looked. None that good. But:
Alaska: “Beyond Your Dreams, Within Your Reach”
And Kentucky’s previous ones?
“It’s That Friendly”
“Where Education Pays”
MzNicky, I watched that video from Wonkette for – oh – maybe 90 seconds before I was compelled by human decency to turn it off.
And Kentucky’s previous ones?
“It’s That Friendly”
“Where Education Pays”
Well, the Vikings named Greenland with much the same accuracy, so who am I to judge.
Alaska: “Beyond Your Dreams, Within Your Reach”
I thought it was “Pubescent Palin Playthings for your Pleasure”.
And Kentucky’s previous ones?
“Who Needs a Full Complement of Teeth?”
“A Cut Above Alabama”
Which it immediately blamed on goldurn niggras, joos an’ communis whut don’t know their place.
IOIYAR
Had to look that one up in the Balloon Juice Lexicon
I thought it was “Pubescent Palin Playthings for your Pleasure”.
Well, I thought of Caribou Barbie when I saw that Alaska motto.
g: I know. You lasted longer than I did. I could be exposed to this sort of thing every day around these parts if I’m not careful.
Yep – YouTube holds viewcounts down for ALL new vids while they check for abuse of multitab-refreshing hijinx … though I imagine a cunning hacker could subvert things like IP-checks too.
Selwyn? More like SelFAIL amirite?
Can’t … resist urge … to … troll idiot … ohh, sweet sweet snark … must … snark … AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Whew … now I feel dirty – yet happy … it’s just how I barrelll-rollll.
Alaska: “Beyond Your Dreams, Within Your Reach”
I am in no position to criticise, since New Zealand also stole its advertising slogan from a box of condoms, which is why we now proudly brand ourselves with the phrase “See Packet for Instructions”.
jim, man, that was fucking awesome! Yeah, you played the roll of a troll, but did you ever score a TPK on those assholes!
Hey Bobo!
This — “YouTube is obviously playing a dangerous game by not being balanced and objective in this case, and many others I could name.” — was just too perfect. Keep up the “good” “work”!
jim, brilliant as it was, I do think you missed an opportunity with your comment:
“Fantasies of right-wing violence” you say? Here’s an idea: put your money where your mouth is – try
that line down in Central or South Americaannouncing that you are gay at a Joe Wilson fundraiser in South Carolina sometime & let us know how that works out for you.would have packed a better punch.
I’d post over there, but I have some qualms resulting from my status as a “christwire” regular. Yeah, I really think it’s a “Poe”, but sometimes I get a queasy feeling mingled with the lulz.
Oh, I think my example would result in much more “infotainment value” – especially were he to try it down around Nicaragua or Guatemala way.
TPK?
Terribly Pert Kockpunch?
Totally Punk-rock Knickertwist?
TPK?
It’s “nerd” for “put them in the hurtbox”.
Can’t … resist urge … to … troll idiot …
When the gay patriot’s lying beneath his right wing fantasy marlborough man, he enhances the experience with imagery of right wing violence.
That or he’s a complete dope.
When the gay patriot’s lying beneath his right wing fantasy marlborough man, he enhances the experience with imagery of right wing violence.
That or he’s a complete dope.
I’m picking door number two. (Okay, I just think he’s damaged. Been there, got bored with that shit. Cut the cord, sweetie. It’s never too late.)
Okay, now this is totally creepy.
I went and looked at the WBC protest schedule (you call that a schedule? huh?) and they’re protesting at my dad’s old synagogue. And from what I know of the demographic changes since, say, 1972, everyone attending services will be like 80 years old (the rest of us having moved one county away — or 7 states away — during the 70s and 80s).
Fortunately for the Brooklynites, once humiliated, the Phelchers don’t like to come back again for the same treatment. They’ve canceled the last several appearances in Massachusetts out of — aw, shucks, let’s call it sheer, unmitigated terror of the gay mocking they receive. And NECN calls them a hate group.
TPK?
Total Party Kill. As Bastard said, it’s Nerdese for utter destruction.
Look at you sadlynaughts, all awake and shit.
damn, posted too soon.
See every site needs its nightowls. This otherwise commendable site is sorely lacking therein. I’m not sure what can be done about that.
Perhaps a Denny’s could be induced to move in next door. I don’t know how that might work on the internet. But something must be done.
Well you can make up some more names for Scott’s contest, LB.
~
I’m tryin, ittdgy, but even I gotta admit it’s gettin late.
Hey LB,
I’m always up late, but not witty enough to keep the comments rolling. I think my oeuvre speaks to that!
MzNicky, that clip was fearsome. And I’m proud (humiliated? dazed? crazy?) to say that I watched the whole damn thing – I kept expecting something to happen, other than a bizarre knobhead mumbling and drooling. I couldn’t believe it – hung on hoping for signs that it was satire.
Best political commentary EVAH.
Interesting. Another wingnut accuses a tree of murder.
10 murderous trees in literature:
(1) Tolkien
(2) Algernon Blackwood, The Willows
(3) Patricia Highsmith, Please don’t shoot the trees
… Buggerybollocks, can’t think of any more. John Hawkins’ job is secure.
When the gay patriot’s lying beneath
his right wing fantasy marlborough man
… This “That’s Amore!” meme is getting completely out of hand.
I’m here, but tired & w/ nothing.
“See Packet for Instructions”. Funny punctuation [sic].
Wasn’t there something here recently about NZ calling itself Cloud Cuckoo Land?
See, nothing. Go home, or at least get out of here.
And for lucky people from other lands who can’t believe who we grow here, a commenter at Wonkette types:
Listlessness? Check.
Pale skin tone? Check.
Lethargic? Check.
Swollen face? Check.
THIS MAN HAS HOOKWORM. Which you can catch from human feces.
Makes sense, as he obviously dumps behind a tree in his backyard.
I bet those trees what threw apples in The Wizard of Oz probably killed someone who dissed their apples at some point. A straight fastball to the temple. Probably that’s how they get their bone meal.
Where is that way back machine everyone is talking about?
I would like to see the video when he saw it.
I’m guessing the 363 is not hits, but ratings. That would seem realistic with the numbers.
Anyone care to help me check this?
Alaska: “Beyond Your Dreams, Within Your Reach”
It doesn’t actually cover the whole state, but the slogan “The Florida Keys – America’s ejculate” is a pretty good one.
Also, I still think this is the best teatment of the Westboro idjits.
This is another good approach to WBC.
Jesus, Sirius, did you read the comments there? Why do you insist on depressing me so?
Sorry JJ, but Rule #2 is never read the comments at You Tube. Rule #1 of course is Always. Trust. the Shoter.
I don’t know how we’ve come this far without mentioning
Crap, this:
I don’t know how we’ve come this far without mentioning
Probably because I posted it on the first thread where someone mentioned the planned Westboro protest in Brooklyn.
Though I have to say, I love that video. 30 years ago, it was unimaginable that frat guys would be standing up for gay rights. 30 years ago, frat boys were all about the fag-bashing themselves. The world, it seems, can change for the better.
The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here!
I AM SOMEONE!
Are not.
~
“It doesn’t actually cover the whole state, but the slogan “The Florida Keys – America’s ejculate” is a pretty good one.”
For the rest, how ’bout “Come Teabag the Panhandle”
Are not.
But Jennifer said so. You calling Jennifer a liar?
“Come to Florida and Florida Will Come to You – and We Won’t Make You Swallow”
You know ’cause its shaped like a penis he he he.
The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here!
Only losers have landlines.
Speaking of unimaginable 30 years ago, NYT Magazine has this really great article about Coming Out in Middle School.
You know ’cause its shaped like a penis he he he.
Why else would they call it the Florida PENISula?
phelps went from conman to godman
This is a logic puzzle, right?
it’s Nerdese for utter destruction.
Comparing me to a Planck-length-scale woodchipper?
Why, that’s simply smashing!
Dear NC,
I’m so sorry that you live in such a horrible state. And by the way you gut piece of shit, why don’t you have the balls to post your contact?
And by the way you gut piece of shit, why don’t you have the balls to post your contact?
Please make sense.
Sorry, that word was gutless…
Dear St Gilchrist….stroll back thru the comments…
i produce all kinds of videos for the Leftist Leviathan to the g to the o to the o the g to the l to the mothafuckin e and i can answer this question right quick: youtube views update at quickest every day, sometimes every two days, while their comments constantly update. i discovered this fact by Asking Someone Who Has Knowledge, something that like the great google itself is a technology too far for Wingtard renuts.
an example of my bona fides:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6KjYWlE5Fc
not asking anyone to like it, just sayin’ that i know what i’m talking about. the director of this piece is a youtube star type, and he walked me through the process (constantly updated comments but not views) when we released it.
Robert Green is gonna be our new daddy, he’s bonfide.
10 murderous trees in literature:
(1) Tolkien
(2) Algernon Blackwood, The Willows
(3) Patricia Highsmith, Please don’t shoot the trees
… Buggerybollocks, can’t think of any more. John Hawkins’ job is secure.
What about that tree at Hogwarts that’s always taking out a bird or three?
He should use the Great Devil Machine to search for “YouTube view counter stuck”. This has been going on for months now and has been talked about widely. The YouTube forums are chalk-full with comments on the view counter issue.
Torchwood reference = <3
I found out that people all over the country are playing a song of worship to Obama! I’ll bet no Republican would ever allow this to happen to their president. The song is called “Hail to the Chief” and here are the lyrics:
Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge cooperation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, that’s our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!
The horror!
What tards.
Here’s how it works: it’s too expensive and unimportant to get the actual number of views every time you visit the page. So what you do is have each web server get the real answer now and then, and save it for a while.
People coming from different places transparently get directed to different servers. So two people, at the same time, can see different numbers depending on which server they get and how recently it updated it’s number.
Durrrr.