Scene From The Mall (non-Roger-Simon Edition)

WH cobag south.jpg
Fulsome and Chuckles of Well Rounded Nerds


Comments: 34


Ok, I have to ask, since I haven’t been coming here or 3bulls for long, what is the etymology of “cobag?”


Holy catfish, people have been gutted for less. RUN AWAY – RUN AWAY!!


lolz0rs. It’s n3tsp34k irl!!!11oneone1!1!

I love it. All protest signs should be written in 1337 from now on.

I can picture it now, “br1ng the tr00ps h0m3”. “n0 bl00d f0r 0i1”. “N0t 1n 0ur n4m3s!”

The rightwing can get involved too. Next time I see anti-abortion protestors, I wanna see a sign which reads “all your wombs are belong to us!”


Ok, I have to ask, since I haven’t been coming here or 3bulls for long, what is the etymology of “cobag?”

It’s a gender-neutral substitute for ‘douchebag,’ based on colostomy bags.


Gavin, who are you kidding? It was quite clearly proven earlier today that there is no such thing as gender-neutral on Sadly, No!


Note the aged state of the rust on the post-9/11* concrete barriers behind fulsome and Kilroy-impersonator Chuckles … it speaks to the long years we have allowed a junta to wall itself off from America.

*Actually, I totally made that up!!!!1one!!!!11



You are one of my heroes.

If you aren’t from Australia, cobag is still gender neutral.

The other one we had was “Bran Muffin”- for people wishing to attack Andrew Sullivan without the gay-baiting. For making you want to take a dump. It never caught on. Also, those wishing to Anglocism it have taken to the term “Bran Scone” which we do NOT endorse being against ists and isms.


What made the whole spectacle of course is that both of them were wearing assless pants at the time. You can almost hear Laura getting the vapors.




I love it.


I see lots of potential for photos such as this. Think: the garden gnome in Amelie, except different. Or, in other words, I want to see a cobag at the leaning tower of Piza or some shit.


I grew up with “douchebag”….one of the first places in North America to use it (I grew up in a very vulgar place, where everyone swore in English and French)….I’ll stop using it when they pry the nozzle from my cold, dead hands!!


I must re-post this here.

For the sake of our nation. And all that it represents.

Americanism. It’s as simple as mom’s apple pie. Do you support illegal immigrants demonstrating for their non-existent rights on American streets? If so, do you understand what the word ‘illegal’ means? They are criminals, demanding their rights. But that’s what’s so wrong with America today… criminals with rights. From dope pushers to Welfare cheats to sodomites to liberal traitors undermining our war efforts, every criminal in the U.S. thinks they have ‘rights’, and that’s all we ever hear about today… the ‘rights’ these criminals have. Freedom to run rampant in streets they have no right to even walk in daylight , freedom to subvert the decency of marriage, freedom to succor our enemies and speak out against a war time president in time of war.

Well, I and every other decent American say that’s too much freedom, and it’s un-American. Unpatriotic. It flies in the face of everything this country was founded on, the very ideals of truth, justice, and liberty for all decent, proper, right thinking Americans.

The Bill of Rights was not written by homosexuals, communists, liberals, foreigners, or traitors. It cannot therefore be presumed to apply to homosexuals, communists, liberals, foreigners, or traitors. This is the core delusion and misapprehension that liberals and other traitors and indecent sorts have, that the inalienable rights spoken of by Jefferson actually apply to them. Yes, he said “all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights�, but obviously when he wrote “all men� he meant all right thinking decent heterosexual Americans who aren’t criminals or traitors to their country, and he also specifically meant good God fearing Christian Americans, since he specifically mentions God in that clause. You can’t have it both ways; if you don’t believe in the Creator, then you can’t have any inalienable rights!

I say, if illegal immigrants don’t like the conditions here in America, why did they come here? Go home. Or go to jail. But either way, don’t wave your foreign flags on our city streets and demand ‘rights’ that you haven’t earned and would only abuse anyway. And I say, if homosexuals want to get married, let them give up their godless sexual choices and have relations with members of the opposite sex! How difficult is that? And I say, if liberals don’t like the way the United States President is prosecuting the War on Terror, then they can go to Canada, or any other foreign hell hole that will take their constantly whining butts. Or, yes, they can go to jail, which is also where homosexuals should go (the only problems is, they’d enjoy it too much, with all the sodomy in there!)

Remember the good old days in America, when sodomy was a crime and Congress had a House Unamerican Activities Committee to root out traitors in our government and amongst our citizenry? Remember when Caucasians were still respected and Jesus Christ was still revered in a country founded by both? Remember when liberals wore peace symbols and had long hair and our police used tear gas and billy clubs on them and National Guardsmen shot them down in the street?

That was Americanism, the Americanism that made this nation great, that conquered the West and built the railroads and saved the world from the Nazis in World War II. And that’s the kind of Americanism we need to return to.

I say we build more prisons and fill them with sodomites, liberal traitors, and baby murdering abortion doctors. I say we give Jose Padilla some company. I say we lock all these un-American undesirables up without a warrant, without lawyers, without charges, without a trial… for those are things Americans have a right to, not non-Americans, and certainly, not unAmericans.


Is it Marching Season already? Gosh, the time flies.


Geez, Highlander, what’s the matter – Roy goes offline for a few days and suddenly you’ve got nowhere to preen?


hey, whaddaya know!
you guys now have an exemplary cobag to show the world.


I’m so glad something like this came up. I’ve not been over to post this at 3B!, but the other day I was walking through one of our many malls here in Colorado and I passed a store called “Colorado Baggage” and immediately thought, “Hmmm…CoBags…I wonder if…nah…”


Y’know, satire seems almost dead these days, as real life not only surpasses it, but laps it. As I read Ultra-American or watch Stephen Colbert, I frequently forget that I’m reading/watching satire.

Does anybody else in here feel the way I do?


At first I thought the errors of fact and logic weakened that screed, but when I stepped back and viewed the whole I saw that they actually made it that much more beautiful, a veritable masterpiece. Don’t tell Gary, but Ultra-American is my new favorite.


Hey, I go drinking near that big white house! When I’m caught in traffic near there, I try to catch any of the rooftop snipers stretching their legs. Saw one just last week.


chuckles shot me in the face.


Now that we’ve all been refreshed on the etymology of “cobagz,” which expression, by the way, I like quite a lot–can anyone explain to me what things like “!!!1!one!!” mean? Is it someone getting so excited with the exclamation mark key that some of them come out as 1, and then taking it to an hilarious extreme by actually typing out the word “one”?


Lucy –
That’s it exactly. The internet is nothing, if not a fertile breeding ground for stupidity, silliness and the mocking of such.


Okay, I admit it (it’s not hard, I posted it to my blog) Ultra-American is me. The pieces I write as Ultra-American are meant to be fairly obvious parody, and I honestly thought people would have fun making fun of them. But, if by posting what I thought were obvious (and somewhat funny) satires under a psuedonym I have offended, well, just think this and all is mended: clearly I’m a cobag. And what’s even better, now I know what that is!



To Europe it shall go, who is with me??

Meaning who is going to Europe or places unknown?

Remember, in those countries you will be greated as heroes!


Ben, I know what you mean.

Professor Illuminata

Sadly, Highlander, what you wrote looks pretty much exactly like about half of my students’ journal entries in my civil liberties course. Actually, I would love to give that to my students early in the course to critique, since most of them have proven themselves unable to tell the difference between satire and not-satire when doing research. But then again, destroying their most dearly held beliefs on the very first day of class does not result in positive course evaluations… oh, well.



That would have been hilarious – it was certainly well done – if I didn’t really have trouble knowing whether you were serious or not.



Am I cobag for feeling like I actually accomlished something?


I was hoping this would provide FARK-like photoshopping opportunties. Make your own sign without having to go to the trouble of actually getting to DC


No, Chuckles, you were clearly a cobag before you accomplished anything.


Cobags for everyone! Nice job boyz.


The last time I was in DC, Clinton was still preznit, so amusing protest sign opportunities didn’t so much present themselves. Seems they’ve added fencing recently, though.

Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel

Delighted to hear that Cheney got booed when he feebly tossed out the first ball at the Washington Nats game today. Fox muted the boos.


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