***A SADLY, NO! EXCLUSIVE REPORT***
It’s a tale of racism, corruption and greed at the highest levels of government. Months in the making, we are finally ready to reveal the first part of our sting operation that exposes the shocking truth about the Obama administration … and the taint goes all the way to the very top. Here is the first collection of explosive e-mails that Sadly, No! obtained in this groundbreaking investigation, which we began just a few months after Obama’s inauguration:
—– Original Message —–
From: xxxxx@xxxxx
To: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
Sent: Saturday, May 16, 2009 4:57 PM
Subject: Your help requiredDear President Obama,
I am writing you to ask for your help, as a voter and admirer of your phat speeches and fly clothes. My underage girlfriend and me are finding it difficult to secure funding for a small business venture that involves a game-changing marketing plan for running hos. The banks do not want to lend to us because of some trumped up charges related to race hustling that was put on me in my former position as Chicago City Comptroller. But you promised to help people like us so we hereby demand that you show us the best way to get around the legal requirements of disclosure for a bank loan. Also we want a patent on my bitch’s pussy technique.
Thank you and best regards,
A Former Chicago City Comptroller
—– Original Message —–
From: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
To: xxxxx@xxxxx
Sent: Saturday, May 16, 2009 8:32 PM
Subject: RE: Your help requiredWITH THE COMPLIMENTS OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA
I am Barack Hussein Obama, son of the late Head of State of the Federal Republic of Kenya, General Mbeke Abacha Boogaloo Ayatollah Obama who died under mysterious circumstances on the 8th of June 1998 After the death of my father, myself and members of my family including my mother have been put through hell with interrogations, on account of corruption and mismanagement of public funds by my late father. The aftermath of these interrogation has led to the continuous effort of the new President with co-operation from the Swiss government and other European countries to freeze, confiscate and recover monies belonging to my late father which were deposited in Swiss Bank accounts and in Bank Accounts in other European countries. Our movement has been restricted , our travel documents seized and we have been forced to refund quite a huge amount of money which we earned through legitimate Government deals executed using the influence of my late father.
The reasons given by the present government for the harassment of my family constitutes a massive witch-hunting exercise by the numerous enemies made by my father in his bid to self succeed himself as President of Kenya before his death. These people presently control the socio-political structure and the economy of the country and are themselves guilty of the same crimes of non-accountability and probity leveled against my father. It is a known fact that there is not one member of the present political class that have not been involved in corrupt practices in and out of the Government and have themselves amassed huge deposits in Foreign Banks. Fortunately, just after the death of my father, my mother in anticipation of the present action of the new Government made arrangements to secretly move the sum of One Hundred and Fifty Five Million Dollars(US$155,000,000.00) in cash for safe-keeping in a security vault. These funds have been in the vault since then and we feel that it is now necessary to move the funds out of Kenya for fear of discovery and confiscation by the new regime in Kenya. We are therefore seeking a business partner with banking co-coordinates capable of accommodating such huge amounts and is able to manage or nominate trustees to manage these funds in the interim as we watch the political situation in Kenya unfolds. Your main responsibility would be to assist in receiving the funds, investment of same in worthwhile ventures you consider profitable and for obvious reasons and as such must insist that all arrangements are made in your name. For your assistance and confidentiality in these matters we would be willing > to offer to you upon negotiations an agreeable percentage of the total sum and on the > profit accruing from the net investment.
I am absolutely positive that this arrangement will be of mutual benefit to both of us and I think that it is of utmost importance that you reach me through my > personal email address stating your telephone and fax numbers and I would give you a telephone call to discuss the matter further and if we reach an acceptable arrangement, then we can proceed further. Finally, I crave your indulgence to treat this letter with utmost seriousness and I trust that this will be the beginning of a long lasting business relationship.
Best Regards,
Barack.—– Original Message —–
From: xxxxx@xxxxx
To: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
Sent: Sunday, May 17, 2009 9:13 AM
Subject: RE: RE: Your help requiredDear President Obama,
I am happy that we is on the same page RE: this lucrative business opportunity, except for you are getting a little sidetracked. Thus, let me reiterate: this is a new and never-before-been-done business plan for acquiring and running hos on a international level that has never been done before. The ball is in your court.
Thank you and best regards,
A Former Chicago City Comptroller
—– Original Message —–
From: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
To: xxxxx@xxxxx
Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 11:18 AM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Your help requiredDear Sir,
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP PETROLEUM (SPECIAL) TRUST FUND CONTRACT AWARD REVIEW COMMITTEE Appointed by the Federal Government of Kenya to review contract Awards/Payments Approvals in the Petroleum Trust Fund (PTF). Our duties include evaluation, vetting approvals for payment for contract executed for the PTF.
On the 10th January 1997, the awarded a contract of $600 Million United States Dollars to the consortium of Abblummus, J.G.C. Corporation, Bouygues Offshore and a joint venture of Spiebalignoles and Fougureolle, for an engineering, procurement and construction work in Kenya.
But some top officials of the organization over-invoiced the contract sum to the tune of $636.5M with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5M among themselves. But due to the sudden proscription of the PTF by the new democratic Government, their effort proved abortive. But now that the Federal Democratic Government of Kenya has approved the sum of $636.5M for the concerned foreign companies as full payment for the contract executed, and since each of the companies are entitled to $150M, we intend to transfer the remaining %36.6M abroad into a safe and reliable account to be disbursed among ourselves.
My colleagues and I have agreed that if your company can act as the beneficiary of this fund ($36.5) you and your company will retain 20% of the total amount while 70% will be for us and the remaining10% will be used to offset any expenses incured by both sides during the course of the transfer.
It may interest you to know that , some years ago a similar transaction was carried our with one Mr. Patrick Miller, the President of Craine International Trading Corporation of No. 135 East 57th Street, 28th Floor, New York 10022 with Tele Number (212) 308-7788 and telex Number 6731689. After the agreement of both parties in which he was to take 20% of the money while the remaining 70% was for us, with the payment approvals secured and relevant document signed, the money was duly transferred into his account, only to be disappointed on our arrival in New York, that he had changed address, while his telephone and telex number has been reallocated. That was how we lost $27.7M to Mr. Patrick Miller. We could not report the case to the authority due to its nature as being utterly confidential. This time, we need a more reliable and trustworthy partner with a reputable company’s account to transfer this money into. Hence this proposal to you.
It took us expensive ideas and money to fine-tune all the preparations for this transaction to meet all legal and administrative requirements in Kenya and those of International Arbitration as the modalities applied in the case of Mr. Miller have changed due to the incessant changes in monetary policies of my country. However, we hope to conclude this transaction within fifteen (15) days from the date of receipt of the requested information and commence the transfer of funds. Therefore, we require from you the followings by fax:
i. Your Company name ii. Company address iii. Bank name and address iv. Account number and account name (if any) v. Your telephone and fax numbers and any other relevant information you may consider helpful.
With the above information, we will use your company name to re-award the contract, put up the letters of claims and apply for payment.
We wish to bring to your notice that the personalities involved in this transaction are Top and influential government functionaries who will not like any form of exposure and as such would want you to keep the business highly confidential. Be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free on both sides.
We are looking forward to doing this business with you. Please, acknowledge the receipt of this letter using the TEL/FAX NUMBER while maintaining maximum confidentiality. I shall bring you the complete picture of this transaction on receipt of your response.
Yours faithfully
DR BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA—– Original Message —–
From: xxxxx@xxxxx
To: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 3:26 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Your help requiredYo fool!
It is getting clear to me that we are getting are wires crossed here a little bit. Let me explain this business opportunity in a little more detail. First, we use your power over Wall Street to get approx. $150,000 to start this business, which is a two-man company with one employee, the ho I told you about earlier (non-union position). Then we purchase up to 20 or 30 white female girls of no more than 14 years old. Of that number, 2/3 is taught the ways of hoing by my bitch. The other 1/3 or one half is used for medical experiments like making them sexier and be more obedient and for the amputee crowd. WE will also run some boy hos for gay customers but that is in Version 2.0 of this start-up.
Now are u going to man up and get with this, podna? What I need to know from you before this goes any further, is where can we buy some white girls for this plan?
Thank you and best regards,
A Former Chicago City Comptroller
—– Original Message —–
From: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
To: xxxxx@xxxxx
Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 3:29 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Your help requiredAlaska.
– B
Well, that clears that up.
Fcuk. I think I broek somethnig laughing.
—– Original Message —–
From: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
To: xxxxx@xxxxx
Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 11:18 AM
Subject: SHE LAUGHS AT YOUR SMALL JOHNSON
Why get by with the undersized wang? Give her the full measure!
YOU FOOL, to patent the pussy technique you have to put all the details in the patent application, then everyone will know! Instead you should make it a TRADE SECRET.
That’s a hot dog in *this* state, kid.
WP ate my post. Is it because I used the word p*ssy? Is WP programmed to eat p*ssy posts? If so, better patent that mofo…
I KNEW IT!
Laugh it up, libfags. Your God is failing and America hates him.
Urine consumption is disgusting.
Where’s my chinchilla wrap at?
What would be somewhat awesome is a collective effort by the commentariat to produce their best WND impression in response. Sort of like…
ZOMG! Glenn Bek has so been scooped Olly Titz also Malkin where were you??? Teh msulim usurper I knew it is also a boy-bumper and a Chicago ganster, screqw the birth certificate WHERE’S A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR?!!!!
Your God is failing and America hates him.
Speaking of which, any comments from Brad about the latest news from Nate Silver? I mean it’s not like he’s too busy to be trolling around the internets or nothing.
I mean it’s not like he’s too busy to be trolling around the internets or nothing.
Brought to you by D-KW, who for some reason can’t tell Brad and Gavin apart.
What would be somewhat awesome is a collective effort by the commentariat to produce their best WND impression in response.
I could just cut ‘n paste something from TIME Swampland referencing Obama’s commie czars…
“Stop the Socialests”? No way on Spag’s green Earth you’re going to be able to do that. You might stop the Socials; you might even slow down the Socialers, But the SocialESTs? Forget it. We’re WAY to social for you!
Obama’s taint goes all the way to the top? He should really have that looked at.
Speaking of Swampland, the abomination that is the von Drehle knob-gobblin’ of GET OFF MY PHONE has an unsurprising last line:
Poor Michael Scherer, from Chief JiSM3 swallower to assistant Beck fluffer.
We’re WAY to social for you!
Everyone with more than twelve friends on Facebook must be stopped!
So they don;t know what socialism is and they don’t know how to spell socialist
I eagerly await the right wing “debunking” post which emails that whitehouse.gov address and posts the “Message returned, recipient not found” autoreply.
I eagerly await the right wing “debunking” post which emails that whitehouse.gov address and posts the “Message returned, recipient not found” autoreply.
That’s just proof that the coverup goes to THE VERY TOP!
DA, this scheme will never work unless you have a big floppy hat. I hope you have a big floppy hat.
Your God is failing
All the zombies I know are atheists.
does give one a clue into the fury and pathos on the right these days though. How could a Black Man be President, unless their God was failing? It’s a terrifying prospect for the big-daddy authoritarian mindset, and the mental anguish must be horrible.
But hilarious. also.
Excellent work, D. Aristophanes. With this we can have Dr. Barack Hussein Obama out of office in 30 days.
No, I think they are actually against “Socialesm”, whatever that might be
I officially endorse this plan.
DA, this scheme will never work unless you have a big floppy hat. I hope you have a big floppy hat.
Looks like SOMEzombie hasn’t checked out the “About” page…
Pay no attention to the hatters.
DA has a distinct lack of flashy sunglasses though.
Nobody will buy the act without flashy sunglasses.
Umm, the sunglass thing was me.
Not used to nym-shifting. It’s Friday. I haven’t had a drink yet, dammit!
Good legal blog by Jonathan Turley, a frequent guest on Olberman. On topic post, also.
http://jonathanturley.org/2009/09/17/poll-thirty-two-percent-of-conservatives-believe-obama-is-foreign-born-while-almost-twenty-percent-believe-he-is-the-actual-anti-christ/
So either MORE Reapublicans are getting full goose bozo crazy, or the rats are leaving the Party, concentrating the crazee.
either way, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
The marginalization is funny, but at this point you have a whole bunch of confused gun-nuts for whom the election of a Democrat can never be legitimate.
I would be most pleased to assist the Comptroller with his free-market proposal, as soon as my appointment to the White House Department of Law is secured.
And this, I can’t tell if it is a spoof or not. Birthers and Truthers Unite. Wolverines!
http://barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/
As Czar, of course.
FYWP
Does this mean that Hannah Giles Comptroller is really Lady Chatteling, and they are looking to find her some lovers?
or the rats are leaving the Party
By this I assume you mean the saner conservatives? Sen. Snowe may be one of them, apparently. I don’t know about bumpy, but I do expect loud, incessant and implacable. Maybe that is bumpy.
A timely session.
2009 Value Voters Summit schedule. I also like the one on “masculinism.” The name just rolls off the tongue.
Oh, yes, indeedy, the Obama administration is doing all it can to suppress free speech. That’s why those poor Teabaggers have only ONE major cable network promoting them.
From: bhusseinobama@whitehouse.gov
To: xxxxx@xxxxx
Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 11:18 AM
Subject: *****FREE ADVERTISING*****
Here is a site that offers F.R.E.E. advertising for almost any
business(no porn) you want to promote. And, the best part is that
it is viral. There is no limit on how many people your
ad can reach. Check this out. This should help us all with
our promotions. And did i mention that it is…
*** F.R.E.E. ***
Also we want a patent on my bitch’s pussy technique
Oh great…The Fool and his “up on the upstroke” was running the Chicago city finances…
Basically, you have a bunch of people who don’t believe in Democracy.
Or Freedom.
The irony is crushing me.
Is WP programmed to eat p*ssy posts?
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Your God is failing and America hates him.
Jesus did lose to Allah, three falls to a submission. True.
2009 Value Voters Summit schedule
Whoa. That’s some concentrated persecution complex.
2009 Value Voters Summit schedule
Seriously, if you could go into this conference with team of psychaiatric evaluators what would you come out with as far as attendee pathology rates?
LIES!!!!
Everybody knows that Obama had all the former Chicago City Comptrollers KILLED!!!
Obama’s taint goes
all theOrly way to the top? He should really have that looked at.fxxored
Obama’s taint goes
all theOrly way to the top? He should really have that looked at.fxxored
Silly rabbit! Everyone knows Orly is a bottom!
At the values voter schedule it says,
without explaining the asterisk. I figure it either means, “Eh, maybe she’ll show up, but going by her actions lately, she’s bound to quit at the last minute.” or they extended the season.
or they extended the season.
She thought it was a 154-game season. Like the old days.
She thought it was a 154-game season.
And she thought that meant she only had to play 102 games.
But using Malkin Math, she should have to do 102,000 games?
I’m gettin confuzzled.
But using Malkin Math, she should have to do 102,000 games?
I’m gettin confuzzled.
No, my little zombie, Malkin Math means that she gets credit for a 1000 bases per hit, making her the first player with a batting average over 1.
But using Malkin Math, she should have to do 102,000 games?
Yes, but you see, affirmative wingnut action. She only has to *claim* 102 games to win 102,000 games. And she doesn’t even have to play all 102 games, all she has to do is think she should.
Conservatards are like schoolyard bullies who punch the smart, nerdy kids in the face, then blame them for getting bloody knuckles.
I think that’s a facet of sociopathic personality if I’m not mistaken.
I was just looking at a list of qualities that are often attributed with sociopathy and conservatards exhibit nearly ALL of them. It’s fucking creepy.
And she doesn’t even have to play all 102 games, all she has to do is think she should.
And she can have her supporters do her hitting for her. Especially on deadline.
And she can have her supporters do her hitting for her.
So basically she’s got a designated hitter to bat for her, a designated runner to run for her, and David Brooks as a designated fancy pageant walker.
I was just looking at a list of qualities that are often attributed with sociopathy and conservatards exhibit nearly ALL of them. It’s fucking creepy.
Have you read The Authoritarians?
Lately, I’ve been thinking of them as the kid who grabs your hand and slaps you with it and says “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!” Sort of the same idea.
So basically she’s got a designated hitter to bat for her, a designated runner to run for her, and David Brooks as a designated fancy pageant walker.
Don’t forget Todd’s piece-o-tail on the side…
So that’s why Bobo goes running? To get in shape for fancy pageant walking? I really don’t think I want to watch that…
Hey everybody! Watch me do some fancy pageant walkin’ now!
(Sorry, I can’t resist…Marion brought it up and it got me to snickering.)
Watch me do some fancy pageant walkin’ now!
Dude, two words: Bus.Tle.
Exactly!
No, I haven’t read the book, but I will.
The shortest-fuse ahem on record.
I really don’t think I want to watch that…
Nor do I. That’s why his columns are so annoying. He flounces all over the place.
At the values voter schedule it says,
Governor Sarah Palin (R-Alaska)*
without explaining the asterisk. I figure it either means, “Eh, maybe she’ll show up, but going by her actions lately, she’s bound to quit at the last minute.” or they extended the season.
OMG SHE JUICED! That’s the only explanation for her inability to maintain the freakish bump in her stats after the scrutiny started. I mean, multicollege non-grad local sport news spokesmodel to VP candidate? NOT NATURAL.
Actually it was N__B who first envisioned Bobo’s pageant walking. The vision of him sashaying down the runway swinging his hips made me throw up in my mouth a little…
Don’t forget Todd’s piece-o-tail on the side…
I already mentioned David Brooks.
freakish bump in her stats
Veiled Bristol Palin reference.
Hey, no means no. I do not give anyone here permission to freakishly bump my stats. That’s the kids are calling it these days, right?
I do not give anyone here permission to freakishly bump my stats.
I like big bumps and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny…
I do not give anyone here permission to freakishly bump my stats.
But my technique is patented. PATENTED!
freakish bump in her stats
Veiled Bristol Palin reference.
N_B you child rapist. Stay away from my kids.
Stop the slurs!
p.s. Obama is Hitler
You mean it’s shiny and used for dress shoes? That’s freaky, brother.
Stop the slurs!
FREE THE ENUNCIATORS!
ENUNCIATE THE FREEPERS!
FREE THE ENUNCIATORS!
FRICATIVES UNITE!
You better watch where you’re trying to put that foot, pal. At least until I get my ACORN-funded online shoe-porn LOLcathouse set up. We’ll accept paypal!
OK, OT but concerning the big old Teabagg-in, check this out. Interviews with Teabaggers in DC on 9/12. In an odd way, the overwhelming and uncut stoopid is oddly reassuring to me. Are we really concerned these people can have their way?
Are we really concerned these people can have their way?
No, but I am concerned one or more of them is going to flip the fuck out and pull a Timothy McVeigh, or worse.
DISLEXICS UNTIE!
Anagrammers Tune I!
“concerning the big old Teabagg-in, check this out. Interviews with Teabaggers in DC on 9/12. In an odd way, the overwhelming and uncut stoopid is oddly reassuring to me. Are we really concerned these people can have their way?”
I think that whatever two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their own business. God knows what you may do Looch. Judge not and ye shall not be judged I always say.
Nevermind.
No, but I am concerned one or more of them is going to flip the fuck out and pull a Timothy McVeigh, or worse.
True. But looking at most of the people in this video I would suspect they are incapable of that (I mean, not able to get it together). I guess I was trying to say that these people look so, so, lumpen.
I guess I was trying to say that these people look so, so, lumpen.
Is that why I have the urge to throw them in my broth?
And not thinking of anyone in particular, or thinking he may or may not have personal objections to fatty junk food with low nutritional value, these people look like they move real slow.
Yeah, that “march” looked more like a tailgate to me.
Still, you don’t have to be svelte to fire a rifle.
“No, but I am concerned one or more of them is going to flip the fuck out and pull a Timothy McVeigh, or worse.”
Maybe one will someday kill a few Unitarians or an abortion doctor.
And not thinking of anyone in particular, or thinking he may or may not have personal objections to fatty junk food with low nutritional value, these people look like they move real slow.
Are you suggesting they’d make a good shamble-laya for a certain undead being?
And not thinking of anyone in particular, or thinking he may or may not have personal objections to fatty junk food with low nutritional value, these people look like they move real slow.
Twinkie brains.
Maybe one will someday kill a few Unitarians or an abortion doctor.
Or three cops.
Maybe one will someday kill a few Unitarians or an abortion doctor.
Yes. I am sure there are folks that attended the Teabag-in who are capable of such things. It’s just the folks in that video seemed to be of the Cowering Clan.
Are you suggesting they’d make a good shamble-laya for a certain undead being?
Moi?
speaking of Unitarians and this is OT but this always kills me. Sorry for the long cut and paste job Sadly No! Corporate Administrators.
“Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.
Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism — 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!
People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to … you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.
We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.
Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for “balance” by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.
We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.
We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: “Sincerity is not enough.” We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it’s true doesn’t make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn’t mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.
Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he’s pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.
People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution. “
I want to be Brother Gatling Gun of Patience!
I want to be Brother Gatling Gun of Patience!
You can be the Terrible Truncheon of Pleasant Sunday Evenings, Around 6:30 or So, Just Before It Gets Dark.
You can be the Terrible Truncheon of Pleasant Sunday Evenings, Around 6:30 or So, Just Before It Gets Dark.
Ooooh. That sounds nice. Is there flouncing involved?
there may be some mincing
Irving Kristol dead. Totally unfair that a piece of crap like that made it to 89.
Also, NBC reporter harassed at Values Voter “Summit.” Organizers apologize. No link yet, saw it on MSNBC.
The asterisk next to “Gov.” Palin’s name means she is “confirmed as a speaker.”
Throw this on a background of guns, bibles, the cross and the flag and wingnuts will ensure it goes viral.
John Cole found it a year or so ago. Just Google “Unitarian Jihad” or here is the link.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/04/08/DDG27BCFLG1.DTL&type=printable
IT WAS THE MUSLIMS!
John Cole found it a year or so ago. Just Google “Unitarian Jihad” or here is the link.
I don’t read Jon Carroll enough. Or Mark Morford.
[Sticks up Post-it note]
Irving Kristol dead.
We should lop off his head, just to make sure.
Put a stake through his heart, burn the body and scatter the ashes while we’re at it.
I want to be Agent Orange of Ambrosia.
Put a stake through his heart, burn the body and scatter the ashes while we’re at it.
And do it at night. So no one can go out and collect his remains and claim, “Behold! He has risen!”
I want to be Imam Intervals of Sunshine.
From The NYT:
Yes, Gawd wants me to have bigger tits & a beauty crown. Except he forgot the tits part, we had to do that ourselves.
Now that is now it is done. Bravo.
how it is done. Sheesh.
Ahhh. I see the Irving Kristol wing in Hell is now ready for business.
Every time a bell rings Irving gets sodomized by Leon Trotsky.
She choked up at one point, as she said that she knew her God had a crown for her somewhere else along the line.
You have won today’s STAR PRIZE, a blow on the head!
The asterisk next to “Gov.” Palin’s name means she is “confirmed as a speaker.”
Pretty soon she’ll be walking and using the big-girl potty.
“Still Standing.” Now that’s an original title for a book. Took a quick glimpse through Amazon and there appear to be dozens with that title (and amendments) already in print. No sign of Miss Opposite Marriage’s opus, however.
Irving Kristol dead.
Think this will wipe that smirk of Bill’s phiz?
OFF.
OFF Bill’s phiz.
Sheez. That second F was inspired by Sarah Palin, and quit.
“Put a stake through his heart, burn the body and scatter the ashes while we’re at it.”
or at least a pork chop or spare rib with spicy barbecue sauce.
these people look like they move real slow.
Some of em drive those Rascals though.
If the movie Zombieland doesn’t have a scene where a mob of zombies chase down a fat slob on a scooter, it should. Director’s cut.
“Still Standing.” Now that’s an original title for a book.
Wasn’t that also one of Sire Elton’s lamer, late period songs? From the Video Age?
“She choked up at one point, as she said that she knew her God had a crown for her somewhere else along the line.”
Jesus was given a crown and it didn’t turn out so well for him shortly thereafter.
Sire Elton?
I think you may have grown back one of the fingers you dropped the other night. Left ring finger perhaps? You should check.
Well, I’m sticking with my Unitarian Jihad name. I tried the Blues Name Generator and got “Fat Boy Tompkins.” How did they know?
Zombie not typing so goodfully today.
Need more rumm.
Rummandbranes.
She choked up at one point, as she said that she knew her God had a crown for her somewhere else along the line.
Hee hee, NPR news talked to folks at the Values Voters Summit this afternoon, and one of the ladies was asked about Hackabee’s David reference, if she felt like David. She responded no, she felt like Goliath, and that the liberals had “awakened a sleeping Goliath”. There’s the Bible knowledge of the typical Values Voter for you.
zombie rotten mcdonald need branes?
Oh, I’m sorry. You obviously haven’t heard. They staged a buycott at Whole Foods. They are now 3rd chin-deep in arugula and kalamata olives. Try to keep up, moran.
“She responded no, she felt like Goliath, and that the liberals had “awakened a sleeping Goliath”.
I always thought that it would help if she got stoned. I’m glad we agree. It might knock some sense int her.
The asterisk next to “Gov.” Palin’s name means she is “confirmed as a speaker.”
Nope. Steriods.
Or steroids, even.
Then we purchase up to 20 or 30 white female girls of no more than 14 years old. Of that number, 2/3 is taught the ways of hoing by my bitch. The other 1/3 or one half is used for medical experiments like making them sexier and be more obedient and for the amputee crowd.
The Chicago City Comptroller should try the Northern Marianas Islands. The scandal seems to have died down since previous efforts to free up the sex-tourism trade there, and I imagine that the organisation employing the individuals involved (*cough* Abramoff *cough* DeLay *cough* Bob Schaffer) has been shut down for corruption.
Need more rumm.
Rummandbranes.
Went looking for pictures of Monkey-brain cocktails for ZRM. Found this instead.
Rusty, it’s going around.
I blame Wrodpress.
I KNOW better than to click one of SSSSMut Clyde’s linkies.
I have already had a shot of 100 proof Captain Morgan. Does this mean we have to say “cheers?” Because I’d rather say something like “AMERICA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Zombie not typing so goodfully today.
Need more rumm.
Rummandbranes.”
A diet solely of wingnut brains is not healthy. Try more moderate brains like Chris Mathews or David Broder. From time to time, a Smut Clyde or Rusty Shackleford will do the trick.
Smut is actually considered a delicacy in Mexico. Rusty may be, too, for all I know.
Try our new product, canned oxidado!
Confession time, I am the zombie doctor. also, Sarah Palin and Emily Latella upthread..
Confession time
Ximinez: Right! If that’s the way you want it — Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn’t seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch…THE COMFY CHAIR!
Out in the outback, there’s been an outbreak
and the Zombie Doctor’s got nothing to take
He went to the cabinet and the cabinet was bare
His eyes dilated, you can see by his stare.
Called up his base on the radio,
He said; “My supplies are running low,
They’re running low, you can see where they go
They’re running low, I see where they go”
You obviously haven’t heard. They staged a buycott at Whole Foods. They are now 3rd chin-deep in arugula and kalamata olives. Try to keep up, moran.
They may be purchasing these items, but they are buying in bulk.
Goddamn David Brooks is an idiot. Mark Shields’ replacement is also no Einstein, but HOLY CRAP Brooks is weapons-grade stupid.
They may be purchasing these items, but they are buying in bulk.
Also: BATTER-DIPPED DEEP-FRIED.
In organic lard.
Mark Shields’ replacement is also no Einstein, but HOLY CRAP Brooks is weapons-grade stupid.
Someone’s been listening to NPR without the special right-frequency ear muffs.
OT even further, I”m currently holding my Friday Cuba-Libre-and-Who-Festival. It may be dinosaur rock, but “Who Are You” still applies 30 years after it first scratched my eardrums. Particularly “905” these days…
The Zombie
dragging his hunger through the sky
of my skull shell of sky and earth
stooping to the prone who must
soon take up their life and walk
mocked by a tissue that may not serve
till hunger earth and sky be offal
BATTER-DIPPED DEEP-FRIED.
Deep Fried Mustard Greens! New on the McDonald’s Dollar Menu!
Sleeping Goliath doesn’t waste time with no durned slingshot, either. S.G. rolls with an assault rifle.
~
BATTER-DIPPED DEEP-FRIED
Nom nom nom
Low-calorie cooking is not my strong suet.
Teh Sleeping Gulliver has awakened!
OMG SHE JUICED! That’s the only explanation for her inability to maintain the freakish bump
Veiled female-ejaculation / G-spot reference.
Hey vacuumslayer, here’s the linky to the free PDFs of Altemeyer’s The Authoritarians . Good stuff, but be sure to follow it with Karen Stenner’s The Authoritarian Dynamic. She fills in some of the holes that Altemeyer’s work doesn’t address and moves the field forward considerably. Stenner’s book isn’t free, but the eBook version is about half the price of the hardcover and is more than worth the price. Both of ’em are must-read for today’s modern now a-go-go
vacuumzombieWingnut slayer.Someone’s been listening to NPR without the special right-frequency ear muffs.
NPR *and* MacNeil sans Lehrer News Hour. I’m a glutton for punishment*.
*veiled hungry authoritarian reference?
FYI: Think Progress posted an excellent idea: that Deval Patrick should appoint Dr. Atul Gawande to take Kennedy’s seat, rather than some old politico like Mike Dukakis.
This is a great idea, as Gawande, a surgeon and doctor at Brigham & Women’s Hospital, and teacher at Harvard Med, has written quite a bit on improving efficiency, cutting costs, reforming healthcare, etc.
It was Gawande who reported in the New Yorker about Mcallen, Texas and its sky-high healthcare spending.
Bostonians, call Patrick and suggest this!
MacNeil sans
Most boring font ever.
if you…
if you wanna…
if you wanna feel real nice,
just ask for the zombie-doctor’s advice.
(he’s got) 2 degrees in blood-drip,
a Ph. D. in gore,
he’s a master of shamble,
but he’s nobody’s wh0re.
veiled hungry authoritarian reference
Judging by the frequency of Sansabelt slack sightings, I’d say most of the authoritarians are hungry most of the time and not shy about addressing their needs.
Norbiz still loves us, even though he ended his blog.
~
Most boring font ever.
They claim that even their italics don’t have a slant.
” Deval Patrick should appoint Dr. Atul Gawande to take Kennedy’s seat, ”
I Googled his name and I am down with it. As long as zombie Paul Tsongas is unavailable.
“they claim that even their italics don’t have a slant.”
I am for fair and balanced italics, but that is just me.
Barack Obama Antichrist?
Worst musical AY-VAR!!
Q: What kind of ice cream do zombies eat?
A: NÖGGIN DAZS
NOM NOM NOM
If your body’s feelin’ bad
And it’s the only one you have
You want to take away the pain
Go out chewin’ on a brain
You watch the flowers go to bed
Eat the membranes from a head
Your spirit never has to grieve
All yah got to do’s believe
Zombie doctor
Zombie doctor
They claim that even their italics don’t have a slant.
Leaning rightward, even though they claim they’re centered.
Hey, if half the complaints they get say their italics lean right, and half say they lean left, doesn’t that mean they’re actually perfectly straight? That’s logicatin’, that is.
I bet their italics still use switch-blades and skip school.
~
From time to time, a Smut Clyde or Rusty Shackleford will do the trick.
Why not? I’d do the trick if he was cute.
Joking aside, sauteed or stir-fried greens can be very yummy.
On an earlier thread
tigrismus said,
Bolero for the foreplay, moving on to Also Sprach Zarathustra, Beethoven’s 5th and then the 9th. Mahler’s 8th for orgies, Kindertotenlieder for onanism… hmm, you might need a bigger one.
I can haz
teh minute waltzSiegfried’s Hammer Song?If your body’s feelin’ bad
And it’s the only one you have
You want to take away the pain
Go out chewin’ on a brain
Eat two brains and call me in the morning
Just ignore that prion warning.
“Hey, if half the complaints they get say their italics lean right, and half say they lean left, doesn’t that mean they’re actually perfectly straight? That’s logicatin’, that is.”
Joe klien, is that you?
Just ignore that prion warning.
That raises quite an interesting question: if a zombie gets CJR, “mad cow” or whatever you want to call it, how would you be able to tell?
They aren’t exactly known for their grace of movement, you know.
“I’ll bet their italics still use switch-blades and skip school.”
Italics smoke crack. Just saying.
That raises quite an interesting question: if a zombie gets CJR, “mad cow” or whatever you want to call it, how would you be able to tell?
HA! I was just thinking that in what passes for the real world for me.
Great minds think alike, and so do ours.
Good. Yay. One down . . .
Irving Kristol dead
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Aaah, Irving Kristol was a pica, anyway.
“piker”, get it?
*sigh* Best I could do. Ho! Need more gin!
Irving Kristol dead
As long as those naked pictures he had of some “dignitary” are in existence, his awful spawn will still receive the fruits of nepotism.
Aaah, Irving Kristol was a pica, anyway.
Has anyone written the inevitable movie treatment of his life yet?
Omar Serif needs to be in the cast somewhere.
Irving was the font, Billy is his descender.
I am for fair and balanced italics, but that is just me.
Boustrophedon goes both ways.
Joking aside, sauteed or stir-fried greens can be very yummy.
Sauteed liberals are usually sweet but can be a bit gristly. Stir-fried libertarians, however, are often sour and mealy-tasting.
Irving was the font, Billy is his descender.
They’re both dingbats.
They’re both dingbats.
Zapf them with your ray-gun.
Zapf them with your ray-gun.
That sans like an extra bold move demi.
They’re both dingbats.
For the sub-thread win.
extra bold move demi.
That’s what ended her marriage to Willis.
Stir-fried libertarians, however, are often sour and mealy-tasting.
Are you making sure to remove the guns from their cold head hands when you clean them? That taste might be black powder, or possibly explosive taggants.
Hellveetica – the Devil’s own cheese font.
Gill Sans – For when you need submerged printing.
Omar Serif needs to be in the cast somewhere.
so long as he’s properly type-cast.
Aaah, Irving Kristol was a pica, anyway.
Bill Kristol is a pica enabler, because he offers his nasty little tidbits to any poor sicko inclined to consume them.
so long as he’s properly type-cast.
I hear his delivery was particularly leaden.
I hear his delivery was particularly leaden.
When he speaks, all I hear is etaoin shrdlu.
OT, but did sadlynauts know that Foxnews.com has a section of fine wingnuttery?
Why Dick Cheney is More American than Barack Obama
it opens:
This is crazier than the WSJ.
Cheney has gravitas? Fucker shot some dude in the face!
I think they meant to say “Cheney has gravity”, like most other masses do.
@gocart mozart
.
Y’all diyd see that on the Lewperca’yl/Ah thrahce pree-sented him a kingly cra-yown/ Which he did thrace reefewse. Was this a’ymbition?
Didn’t turn out too well for Caesar, either. Even refusing it. So what’s the odds?
Yeah, well the shooting a guy in the face really puts paid to the bit about Cheney’s ability to “look out for Americans”
I just hadn’t realized FN was publishing wingnut screeds on their front page as bad as anything in the dredges of right wing delirium. I suppose it isn’t that surprising but they’re really abandoning all their previous pretence at objectivity and this is the result.
Yeah, well the shooting a guy in the face really puts paid to the bit about Cheney’s ability to “look out for Americans”
That pales in comparison to his role as the most egregious war profiteer in American history.
In FoxNews-land, you earn gravitas by leaving victims in grave condition.
Dick Cheney is More American than Barack Obama
…his role as the most egregious war profiteer in American history
Potato, potah-to.
Yeah, Herr Doktor, as Dubya himself would say, that’s “uniquely American”.
Cheney has gravitas?
A gravito is a spin-0 particle that carries the weak
forcesauce, but I am not convinced that you are using the correct plural.I was going to call this satire boring until I realized it was making my head ache. So I guess “boring” is too kind.
Every time a bell rings Irving gets sodomized by Leon Trotsky.
This is not quite the classical conditioning I had in mind, but it’ll do.
Is there some way I can get in on this excellent investment opportunity?
RE: “Is there some way I can get in on this excellent investment opportunity?”
Never mind, I have decided to invest everything I have with Dr. Orly Taitz Esquire.
The fact is, here in the heartland, we are too busy farming and protecting the country to worry about zombies, Acorn, and who is racist and who is not. Also, it is hard to believe there has not been any coverage or mention on this elitist lib site about the Jew New Year. Shana Tovah
Thank you! Will give it a looksee.
“A gravito is a spin-0 particle that carries the weak force sauce, but I am not convinced that you are using the correct plural.”
Surely gravitas is the correct plural, because is not Gravitos a kind of snack food?
I know I’m, like, totally late on this, but dear god … what a way to start a Sunday.
Brilliant.
Just. Fucking. Brilliant.
**standing ovation**