Selfless Martyr Watch

Quod Mark Steyn:

. . .But I felt gradually exhausted since September 11th, 2001, [because] it’s very dispiriting trying to keep going in this phase of what is a very long conflict. And the reason I do it is because I want us to win. I don’t particularly like journalism. I don’t particularly like writing newspaper columns. I’m sick of having to make what I think should be an obvious case again and again and again. And I’d much rather pack it in and sit on my porch in New Hampshire and enjoy the view of the mountains. But I do it because I want us to win.

We were waiting on Hugh Hewitt to say something like, “I don’t use the word ‘hero’ very often, but you, Mark Steyn, are the greatest hero in American history.” But instead, he used Steyn’s lead as an opportunity to whine about how lefties were so very mean to him over his Empire State Building comments, directed at Time Mag’s Iraq correspondent, Michael Ware:

I’m sitting in the Empire State Building. Michael, I’m sitting in the Empire State Building, which has been in the past, and could be again, a target. Because in downtown Manhattan, it’s not comfortable, although it’s a lot safer than where you are, people always are three miles away from where the jihadis last spoke in America. So that’s…civilians have a stake in this. Although you are on the front line, this was the front line four and a half years ago.

To which Steyn replied magnanimously:

[W]e’re all, in a sense, we’re all conscripted in this war. Those 3,000 people who died on September 11th, they weren’t serving forces, they were just fellows who got up in the morning and went to work, or went to Logan Airport and got on a plane. And that’s the thing. We’re all conscripted in this war, whether we know it or not.

Must be something in the wingnut water cooler, because Roy Edroso finds Jeff Goldstein exhibiting the same sort of self-aggrandizing self-pity:

…[Tbogg] and his fellow Iraq war critics have started to pretend that the threat from al Qaeda doesn’t exist, and instead spend the majority of their time poking their sticks into the sides of those who aren’t quite so sanguine about al Qaeda’s intentions.

This is almost plaintive: Goldstein only wants to save America, why are we making fun of him? Maybe Goldstein noticed that, too, and quickly butched back up to the belligerent sophistry that is his stock in trade

Anyway, this is yet another episode to add to the Steyn dossier.


Comments: 44


And when Steyn stands in line to buy a bag of Cheetos at his nearest Quick Check, knowing full well that it could be blown to smithereens by America-hating Islamofascists or maybe liberals who finally managed to get too hopped up on their Starbucks Vanilla Chai lattes…..he wants you to know that he doesn’t just do it for himself.

He does it for all of us.

God Bless America.


Omigod! I fly out of Logan ALL THE TIME! No need to thank me, America, I do it out of love.


By the way, the extremely right wing Telegraph newspaper and the extremely right wing Spectator magazine in Britain have dropped Steyn as a columnist. Fucking pinkos.


Writing columns over here so we don’t have to pay to have them written over there…

We go to war with the selfless martyrs we have…

No one could have foreseen Mark Steyn’s midwar bout of mono…


Now, as I too am currently going through the same process of immigration (for my Japanese wife,) I can empathize with the comments he makes about paying immigration attorneys and waiting in dreary government offices. On the other hand, I want my wife to be able to get a better job than picking grapes or cleaning some Republican’s house. And, oh yeah, we can afford (if just barely) to do it the legal way because (A) we were married, (B) I have steady employment, and (C) she saved up for it – three things someone who is coming across for $1 a day’s payment probably can’t say they have going for them.

No illegal immigrant – or guest worker – will ever take jobs away from Hugh or Mark’s job (not without becoming a figurehead for the GOP first, anyways). After all, we don’t import the cheap labor for higher end jobs, we ship the work overseas to them. Not a whole lot of Republicans crying for the US jobs lost to Indian call centers, but then that’s just a natural byproduct of capitalism.

And, besides, what is all this “Democrats legalize them then register them to vote” crap? Who is it that was playing to the heavily Catholic hispanic vote in 2004 with their little morality plays?


Man, it would be sort of worthwhile if someone would pin down Marky Mark as to how his columns and complaints actually and objectively help us “win” anything. But of course I wouldn’t such a line of questioning from star Funky Bunch dancer Hugh Hewitt…


Shit, I used to have to edit and format Steyn’s columns when I was at the Nation in Bangkok. If that’s not heroic, selfless work deserving of a medal … I don’t know what is.


Yesterday, I dutifully booted up my computer and masturbated until my satisfaction.

No need for thanks, America. Just doing my part to keep the terrorists from winning this war.


I’m glad the transcript stopped before they slipped under the table making slurping noises.


It astonishes me the way the quavering, paranoid ninnies have managed to remain in a state of self-soiling fear since 9/11. Don’r get me wrong-with the number of people we’ve seriously pissed-off, we’ll probably be in danger of terrorist attack until the year infinity or so. But, who amongst us has lived so totally in a state of quivering fear since ’01? frankly, after the mysterious anthrax mailings petered out (and whatever happened to that investigation, hmm?), I haven’t wasted too much time worrying about terrorism, even though I live in fairly close proximity to a major target (Chicago). Eventually, things in your life take precedence over some theoretical terrorist attack. I recommend developing a chronic medical condition–it’s done wonders for me. It’s just embarrassing to witness people like Steyn and Hewitt pissing their pants with such alarming frequency.


Isn’t that goldstein guy a “house husband”? how gay is that?


No shit,marq, I live in Seattle and I’m in more danger driving on 405 and I 5 than I am from some terrorist attack.
I think that by being scared all of the time, they convince themselves that they are brave just by leaving the house.


Excuse me, Gus, but there’s nothing the least bit “gay” about being a house husband. My husband stayed home and took care of the house and the kids until they started school, and believe me, he could beat the living crap out of you, Steyn, Hewitt and Goldstein all at the same time. With a dozen other sniveling bed-wetting war bloggers thrown in for a warm-up round.

Sorry, but you managed to tweak two of my pet peeves in one sentence — denigrating house husbands and using “gay” as a pejorative. I now return this comment section to its regularly scheduled Steyn/Hewitt bashing, an activity of which I heartily approve.


they’re just such unbelievable pussies. don’t they feel ashamed of themselves? ever? i happen to have a best friend in the green zone who would like to take a dehydrated, sleep-deprived, homesick shit on mark steyn’s face for a remark like that.


Sorry, Marc, but you managed to tweak two of my pet peeves in one sentence — denigrating pussies and using “unbelievable” as a pejorative.



pronounced “Stain?”

just askin’


“Isn’t that goldstein guy a ‘house husband’? how gay is that?”

You should demand a refund from troll school.


According to Wolcott it’s properly pronounced to rhyme with “whine”. How appropriate.

But personally, I’m totally cool with it if you wanna pronounce it the other way and call him Shitsteyn or The Human Steyn.


Guess all us Federal bureaucrats working inside the Beltway are heroes who deserve commendations for our bravery. Kewl!

Charlotte Smith

On behalf of all Canadians, I wish to apologize again for Mark Steyn. Dunno what happened there. I’ll also apologize in advance for David Frum & Adam Yoshida – I’m sure they’ll do something idiotic soon. And Rachel Marsden, ‘cuz I’m sure she’s been saving up the crazy for something big.


Poor Steyn. Lost in his jingo gibberish.

He was all for the invasion, even if he had no clue of how incompetent and corrupt the leadership was, after all, it was a CONSERVATIVE war…..!

Mark thought it just HAD to succeed, being so conservative and such.

Steyn and his ilk are grasping at any straw to justify this towering international failure and outrage.

So what did any of us expect?


If hugh Hewitt sits in the Empire State Building he is not doing anything to blunt al Queda or diminish the threat. He is merely positioning himself as a potential victim and letting everyone know that he is bravely taking the place of some other potential victim.

If there are means to stop terrorists, none of these folks are engaged it in. They view themselves as the empty helmet poked above the trench on a rifle barrel.


I second Charlotte’s apology, and beg you to keep the various Steyns and Frums who are living in the US. We don’t want ’em back. Adam can stay, as long as he doesn’t leave his Mom’s basement.


I think the line whose poetry Mark was trying to reference was actually, “We’re all Bozos on this bus.” A sentiment I can second.

The people on the planes were, catastrophically, victims that a band of fanatics who meaninglessly dehumanized and sacrificed them in pursuit of a irrational goal. If Mark wants to sign up to be cannon fodder in a pointless cause, well, I don’t use the word “hero” often, but…


Hey, I can do both! I can sit on my [rented] porch and look out at a view of NH mountains (okay, *we* call them mountains, you folks west of the Mississippi can just stop laughing now, thankyouverymuch) AND I can also write the good fight too, even tho’ it gets tiring on top of having a low-paying full-time day job and living paycheck to paycheck. I can’t quite do both at the same time, because I don’t have a laptop, and anyway up until this past week you wouldn’t have wanted to be watching the [frozen, windy] NH skyline without a couple layers of wood and glass between you and the great outdoors…



You forget. Yes you do. Hugh “The Man” Hewitt calls himself (wait for it):

The Jack Bauer of the Blogosphere!


Saving us all from the scimitars of desperate deadenders wherever they may be! He and alll his ilk.


As for the Steyn character…



Let’s not forget Christopher Hitchens:

I believe the President when he says that this will be a very long war, and insofar as a mere civilian may say so, I consider myself enlisted in it.


I just love how some Americans can be so fucking detached from reality:

“[W]e’re all, in a sense, we’re all conscripted in this war. Those 100,000+ arabic people who died in the last 50 or so years at the hands of American Oil Imperialism, they weren’t serving forces, they were just fellows who got up in the morning and went to work”

I was just minding my own business here in the U.S of A. and these brown people (mostly Saudis) came out of nowhere and attacked because they hate us for our freedoms blah blah blah.

Let’s discuss the real issue why everyone hates America. Because your gov has been occupied by a bunch of fucking war criminal murderers for the last 50 years.


“Goldstein only wants to save America, why are we making fun of him?”

So did the german people when they decided to herd up jews, gypsies, homosexuals, and liberals and toss them in concentration camps.

So did the russians when they created the ‘umbrella’ or ‘iron curtain’ in order to create a buffer between them and those they perceived were their enemies.

So did McCarthy and his red scaremongering who scapegoated and terrorized a nation of people for nothing more than trying to rationalize our choices in how we and why were were actually fighting communism.

People tend to become fanatics beholden to fear when it comes to ‘protecting’ themselves or what they think is their protecting ‘us’ from the evils they say lurk around every corner.
First. Show me the evil. Second. Show me how that evil is any worse than the evils we already have permeating each and every one of us here at home in the form of greed and apathy to the suffering of others.



Hmm… I just realized that if you read the wingnut canon in toto, you learn that life in Iraq is much better than the media would lead us to believe while here in the US, we are under constant threat from implacable terrorists. The obvious answer is to move to Baghdad, and I’m frankly surprised Hewitt, Steyn, Goldberg, et al. have not done so.


I’m sitting in the Empire State Building, which has been in the past, and could be again, a target. Because in downtown Manhattan, it’s not comfortable,…

As I sit fat-assed in my comfortable air-conditioned Manhattan office, literally spitting distance from Grand Central (another potential Ground Zero!!!), and do not entertain delusions that taking the subway to work is an act of heroism akin to those who choose to put their lives at risk daily and see their friends being shot at and blown up in a struggle to make things better in the clusterfuck that is Iraq–as I do this, I would like to point out to Hugh that the Empire State Building is in MIDTOWN, not downtown.

Of course, “downtown Manhattan” sounds a lot more badass than “midtown Manhattan,” so I can see where a chickenshit would misrepresent which part of the ‘hood he was broadcasting from, lest his viewers realize what an incredible pansy he was.

Although, I must say, I’m throwing caution to the wind and going to see a movie on the front lines of downtown Manhattan tonight. I expect it will be very comfortable. Although perhaps, like last time, they will not have Diet Dr. Pepper in fountain and I will have to settle for bottled, which will be VERY uncomfortable. It may, in fact, end up being just like Iraq.


Very good point Dan. Maybe I can dig up some of the things the wingnuts were saying when some liberals threatened to move to Canadia or New Zealand after nov. ’04 then apply such utterances to the new wingnut position.

If it’s so great there and bad here, then they ought to leave here for there. Yes yes.


Oh my God! As a tourist in New York in 2003, I queued to go up to the top of the Empire State Building. Nobody told me I was taking my life in my hands!

Can I sue Hewitt for the distress of finding out how close to death I was?


“Fellows”? Uh, Steyn, what about the women?

Little sexist there, fellow.

a. A man or boy.
b. Informal A boyfriend.
2. A comrade or associate.
a. A person of equal rank, position, or background; a peer.
b. One of a pair; a mate: found the lost shoe and its fellow.
4. A member of a learned society.
5. A graduate student appointed to a position granting financial aid and providing for further study.
6. Chiefly British
a. An incorporated senior member of certain colleges and universities.
b. A member of the governing body of certain colleges and universities.
7. Obsolete A person of a lower social class.


If you follow this logic to its conclusion, then there are no civilian casualties in Iraq, since those civilians there, those fellow just showing up for work, have been conscripted. This tactic is obvious, and some will actually fall for it.


Mark, Hugh and Jeffie to Brian CB:
“Go ahead. Squeeze the wheeze! Many people like to.”


More Americans have died from toenail fungus than from terrorist attacks.

I’m just not going live my life afraid, and I’m not prepared to watch the principles upon which my country was founded be abandoned because of this type of militaristic fearmongering.

Mark Steyn and Hugh Hewitt are two of the more execrable examples of those who would destroy America and American values.

I heard Hewitt smearing that Wade guy, the Australian war correspondent the other night. Hugh should have been honored to even be talking to Wade, much less on the same show as him. And for him to try to paint this brave newsman as some sort of enemy collaborator just because he has interviewed some of the insurgents is beyond ridiculous. It’s insulting. It also shows why Hugh Hewitt is a “third-tier radio talk-show host”. And Mark Steyn is one of his favorite lickspittles. They should both be ashamed.


This is something I’ve noticed about EVERY SINGLE conservative I know: They are absolutely unable to care about anything unless they feel it has a direct effect on them. Many of them have actually said this to me, that they don’t care or don’t know about a particular issue because it does not (to their mind) DIRECTLY affect them.

I think that is what we are seeing here, that in order to care about this issue, these conservatives have to create a direct connection to the issue, no matter how absurd.

Talk about putting the “con” in conservative…


Now if they’d only put the “serve” in conservative.

You listening, Jonah? Ben?


We nasty lefties just don’t seem to understand the hardships and the sacrifice Mark Steyn and his ilk make. Our freedoms are a heavy burden on his shoulders, and yet we mock him!
Shame on us!

Where is our mindless fear that should be directing us?



They already have the ‘Con’ in conservative. Can’t have too many meanings in it.



Mark Steyn on decadent journalist Michael Ware:

The bit where he was talking about yes, he’s got contacts in Zarqawi’s organization, and he’s been taken on these privileged little trips to meet with them and all the rest of it…

Ware, on these “privileged little trips” of his, in his own words:

I was kidnapped by them, dragged out of my car, and a group of Syrian fighters for Zarqawi were preparing to execute me on the street here in Baghdad. So I’ve been with Zarqawi’s people in a number of different forms.

And it’s always very confusing. You’re often blindfolded. You’re often shoved down in the back of a car. You’re often driven around for what seems like hours just to confuse you. You’re shifted from place to place. You’re constantly kept disorientated and confused, and you’re constantly being challenged and tested. I mean, on three occasions, I was present when a discussion took place about whether I should be killed or sold, or goodness knows what else, and my fate has rested in their hands while they talk about this around me in a language I don’t understand.

Talk about a “moral vacuum.”


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