Trapped in the Closet Pt. XXIV
Posted on March 28th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Scott McClellan: “Oh, Ken, did you hear yet? Andy’s out.”
Ken Mehlman: “Yay! We’re all going out for Mojitos tonight! …Ooh, bad Kenny. Mojitos are for summer.
Scott McClellan: “Shh! Shut up, you bitch! I mean he’s ‘spending more time with his family.'”
Ken Mehlman: “Oh, Claude Allen ‘out.’ Well, shut your own k-hole then. Is it my fault if you have the diction of a Texas rodeo bum? We must send a sympathy card to his wife. Except, oh maybe she already is the Sympathy Card, ha-ha.”
Karl Rove hurries past.
Ken Mehlman: “K-Ro’s wearing the oomba-moomba pants again, Scott.”
Scott McClellan: “You’re a peculiar old squaw.”
It’s “boomba-woomba pants,” you pathetic liberal dirt-merchants.
my take (and shameless plug of my days-old blog):
http://nightlike.blogspot.com/2006/03/see-that-guy-on-left-there-his-name-is.html
Hey now, just ’cause Ken Mehlman is thin and neat doesn’t mean he’s gay. That’s like saying that just because he’s the RNC national chairman he’s a habitual liar and sociopath. OK, bad example.
Umm, and it’s never good to have the words ‘Karl Rove’ and ‘pants’ in the same post. Just saying.
(‘Course I laughed my ass off when I read it. You guys are going to get me fired and I will have to join the damnable welfare state.)
i mean: click here
Just because Ken Mehlman has a live-in male lover doesn’t mean he’s gay.
What, you’d prefer that he not be wearing pants? Eeugh! You’re a strange bird, Dawg.
What, you’d prefer that he not be wearing pants? Eeugh! You’re a strange bird, Dawg.
LOL!
Maybe I should’ve said never put the words ‘pants optional’ and ‘Karl Rove’ in the same sentence.
How do you tell if your roommate is gay?
His dick tastes like shit.
How do you tell if your roommate is gay?
His dick tastes like shit.
Ah, that’s one of the few jokes in all history whose origin is known. It’s by Gibby of the Butthole Surfers…
Or, how did the hillbilly know his sister was on her period?
His dad’s dick tasted like blood.
Sorry ’bout that … taxi for me.
Gibby, what a quality guy.
Just because Ken Mehlman wears underwear made out of sushi rice, doesn’t mean he’s guy, but the KM monograms on each grain don’t help.
There you go, pushing the fucking envelope past mean and right into eeevil. Seb, say something nice!
goddamn it- somebody edit that quality remark!
GAY I SAID GAY
You sure about that, Gav? It seems to me I heard that joke decades ago, when Gibby would pretty much have been in gradeschool. If he did coin that joke, he really had a potty-mouth when he were wee!
Gibby must be (doing arithmatic) about 50 now. So the joke might date from the mid-’70s…
I made up a couple of joke-type jokes awhile ago, sort of curious to see whether they’d spread and eventually come back. Have you ever heard the one about, Why did the Arab guy divorce his wife?
Gavin, is the answer, “Because his dad’s dick tasted like her?”
As long as we’re making jokes in “Aristocrats” territory:
How does Bush know when Cheney is having a good day?
His penis tastes of the blood of minority children*.
*A condiment so well-known in the Bush family that George can identify the child’s ethnicity with more accuracy than he can tell shit from shinola.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about rollerblading?
A: Telling your parents you’re gay.
Speaking of homoerotic Republicans…
After yesterday’s startlingly creepy story by Pastor Swank, I think we should now transform the word Swank into a verb indicating male arousal of the right-wing closest homosexual varitey.
Example: The Pastor got a major Swank watching the shirtless boy work out in the gym.
This reminds me of a shirt a gay friend of mine had back during the hearings that led to “don’t ask, don’t tell.” It was a picture of Sen. Sam Nunn, the architect of the gay ban, and the words “We Hate Her!”
It’s by Gibby of the Butthole Surfers…
I seem to recall the joke in question from one of the Truly Tasteless Jokes book series from the early 80s or so. They used to sell them at Spencer in the mall, and kids would bring them into elementary school to giggle over. They had sections; Polish jokes, gay jokes, black jokes, etc.
I’m not sure all the jokes in those books were original. But they were tasteless.
JK47: I’m so stealing that.
Sorry, that was me on the Truly Tasteless tip. Not just some Anonymoose.
What’s the worst thing about fucking a four-year-old girl?
Cleaning the blood off your clown suit.
(Last time you heard that you fell off your dinosaur and broke your stone diapers)
Oh, and the best Cheney joke of recent vintage was from Yosef or Gregor Samsa, and it had to do with Cheney’s prediliction for ‘babpupten’ … which is a kitten stuffed inside a puppy stuffed inside a baby.
So wait, now, which cheapo retail outlet did Andy rip off while pushing his unwelcome bulk against poor Todd Oldham?