Beck’s Righteous Anger Voice sounds more like he’s complaining that someone gave him a wedgie.

No, just breathing hard.

I hope the “SA” in the address means San Antonio. And Glenn Beck is one whiiiiiiiiiiny little bastard. Fuck him.

The battle started at the Alamo?!?

The teabaggers are fighting for independence from Sant Anna’s Mexico?
WTF?

We are also sick and tired of you libruls trying to make us think that “majority” has to mean “most” people.

Well, it don’t.

And by “awakened a sleeping giant,” we also do not mean that the radio alarm has gone off next to a fat man. You know what we mean.

And also, stop letting people from them gay fag urban East Coast cities like “New York” and “Washington DC” tell us real people in the true heart of Patriot Confederate America what 9/11 meant, ’cause, well, shut up.

Don’t you remember? The Mexicans dressed up like colonial Americans who were dressed up like Indians–then they threw their gorditas and flautas (and TEA) into the Rio Grande, which gently flows into Boston Harbor. Also. Red Sox Suck!

Also. Red Sox Suck!

Them’s fightin’ words, mofo!

I’m starting a 9/13 movement…in my pants.

Join my Movement, Noble Born Sons and Daughters of America! (Sorry I said that thing about the Sox.)

Isn’r rain in the forecast for DC this afternoon?

The teabaggers are fighting for independence from Santa Anna’s Mexico?

Why sure they are. Because them damn Meskins won’t let ’em keep slaves. Big Gov’t. is just so evil.

What’s up with the domain name?

Is he organizing a march from San Antonio to Washington? Isn’t that a bit far to walk in one day – regardless of how angry he is?

I’M AS DUMB AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GONNA MAKE SENSE ANY MORE!!!

Well I hope they lost the Hank Hill types for their march, what with the gross ignorance of Texas history.

The war, besides having no relevance to their movement, started in Gonzalez.

“But we need to wake the sleeping giant, Hank, and fight the social-fascolistic Beast!”

“Dang it, Dale, if you say one more thing about that stupid carpet-baggin’ march, I’m gonna kick yer butt.”

“Yep. Mumblemumblemumble bunch of nut cases… dang ole.”

And Glenn Beck is one whiiiiiiiiiiny little bastard.

If you watch a few minutes of Beck (and I highly DON’T recommend this) it’s obvious that he has been learning his craft from the televangelists. The fake tears, the scare tactics, the outrage at “the eveil others”. It’s all tried and true technique. And the target audience have shown a succeptability to these techniques in the past.

Shut yer sass-flap, boy! I’m scalpin’ me a MexiCommie!

Obama DID “listen to the people,” you dumb shits. The people voted him to be president of the United States and he said, well, okay. Then the people said, please for crissakes give us health-care reform, and he said, yes, I can. Then they told him, when some shitkicker from SC yells at you like a cracker-ass jerkoff he is, we’ll donate around $1 million within 48 hours to his opponent’s campaign fund.

Now — was there something you sorehead loser tards had to say?

Perhaps we should have specified WHICH people. We meant us, the fringe crackers of Dumbfuckistan. Everyone else can go to hell.

Also, ” Remember Don’t Tread on the Alamo Me”

They are mixing thier patriotic metaphors.

Fun Fact:

As of today, Obama has a better record of keeping us safe from terrorist attacks than that of his predecessor.

I love the enunciation of the line “Stop trampling on our constitution and honor it!” in that video. If Marvin the Martian starred in a production of Boys in the Band, that’s what he’d sound like.

The battle started at the Alamo?!?

The teabaggers are fighting for independence from Sant Anna’s Mexico?
WTF?

We’ve got his leg. Isn’t that enough?

As of today, Obama has a better record of keeping us safe from terrorist attacks than that of his predecessor.

Once again, lies. We are safe today because Dick Cheney kept us safe by torturing brown people. We were attacked on 9/11 because Bill Clinton failed to keep us safe. We will be safe because of Cheney and Bush Jr. until such time as we are attacked again, at which time it becomes Barack Obama’s fault.

“The audio is Glenn Beck reading Janet Contreras’s letter.”

Oh – this is even better than something actually penned by Beck! It’s the prose of a REAL AMERICAN!

“A patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping for too long.”

That bit I don’t understand… Do particularly strong and powerful patriotic spirits have fatigue issues? Don’t get me wrong, I love the awakening giant metaphor. If they are going to make use of it, however, they need to get the sleeping part right.

Perhaps the spirit was so strong that the “libtards” had it drugged all these years – Quaaludes, probably. All it took was a kiss from Prince Charming in the form of Glenn Beck to wake it back up again.

http://www.americasright.com/2009/06/must-read-glenn-beckjanet-contreras.html

Images of Barack Obama, Sheila Jackson Lee, and Arlen Specter. Scary text about the Alamo. Pieces in puzzle.

“You work for us” is dog-whistle for “You uppity n**ger.”

Images of Barack Obama, Sheila Jackson Lee, and Arlen Specter

evil I tell you, evil…………

Isn’r rain in the forecast for DC this afternoon?

I’m lookin’ at grey skies outside my window as I type this. (I live right outside of DC)

“We didn’t vote for you, nor will we ever support any goddamn thing you ever do no matter how trivial, but you better listen to us, mister!”

Apparently Obama is going to pay ACORN to do the 2010 census.

Also, ACORN is getting a fixed percentage of every real estate transaction conducted in the United States now.

I was not aware of either of these revelations!

They’re teabagging at Alamo Rent-a-car?

From the Contreras letter:

We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming.

Freud always wins.

WAS IT OVER WHEN AL-QUEDA BOMBED THE ALAMO??!!1!?

If only the baggers had not been giantly sleeping with their gloves on when Shrubya McCokehead was wiping his ass with the Constitution, they wouldn’t have to be so worried now about its poopy shredded remnants catching on the bottoms of Barry X’s trampling shoes.

I’m askeert. They’re coming for us. What will they do when they catch us? Teach us how to make all those cool misspelled signs? Have psychotic temper-tantrums? Live in a state of perpetual cognitive dissonance? I CAN’T WAIT!! It’s gonna be an adventure! I want to be a moran!!!

laugh it up, libs. it is 9-12. we are taking our country back from the fags, the muslims, the blacks, the leftists, the liberals, the USA haters, the liberal christians, the fascists, the socialests and the coastal eletie chardonay slipping lattay drinking morons who think they can tell us in flyover country what to do

Best line:

Stop treating us like morons!

Ok, well, stop acting like morons.

WAS IT OVER WHEN AL-QUEDA BOMBED THE ALAMO??!!1!?

(Shhh. He’s on a roll.)

laugh it up, libs. it is 9-12. we are taking our country back from the fags, the muslims, the blacks, the leftists, the liberals, the USA haters, the liberal christians, the fascists, the socialests and the coastal eletie chardonay slipping lattay drinking morons who think they can tell us in flyover country what to do

Hey, I resent that!

Last night I was drinking Sauvignon Blanc.

Ok, well, stop acting like morons.

Or at least learn how to spell “moron.”

“We have to give up our vacation time!”
Possibly the whiniest battle cry in the history of sleeping giant revolutions…

I love to slip chardonay while I’m lattay drinking.

laugh it up, libs

Thanks, I will!

Badly fake parody troll.

The only people who use the term “flyover country” are conservative pundits living in large cities on the coasts. Brooks uses the term, Friedman uses it, Fatboy Goldberg uses it, but not the actual people who live there.

Possibly the whiniest battle cry in the history of sleeping giant revolutions…
Yeah, REAL MEN would never give up thier vacation time for a mere crisis!

Have you all seen this? The 9/12 Project is now fielding candidates for November 2010.

The 9/12 Projection is a disingenuous way to bring unity behind a former President who proved himself unworthy of the respect due his position, a war that proved itself not worth the price no matter how exaggerated the fear, and an anger that has proven itself capable of turning too many of us into the twisted cartoons the Islamist motherfuckers claimed we were in the first place.

I reject their way of thinking.

“A patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping for too long.”

Oh, that explains it. They were in a coma during the Bush years.

Chardonnay slipping?

I reject their way of thinking.

Um, that implies that they think.

Chardonnay slipping?

That’s what happens when you have a little too much Chardonnay.

Strong and powerful sleeping?

Looks like the trailer to a fucking Bruckheimer movie.

Psst! Ix-nay on the oll-tray with the lattay and the ipping-slay chardonay!

I’ll see your

we are taking our country back from the fags, the muslims, the blacks, the leftists, the liberals, the USA haters, the liberal christians, the fascists, the socialests and the coastal eletie chardonay slipping lattay drinking morons

And raise you some whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Punk.

Because we are coming. We the people are coming.

We the people are coming so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping for too long.

Looks like the trailer to a fucking Bruckheimer movie.

and sounds like a phone call to Mom from summer camp: “They’re making us do CRAFTS. I don’t like my BUNK. The food SMELLS FUNNY.”

“We have to give up our vacation time!”

When I travelled down to DC in Sept. 2005 to protest against the Iraq war, I didn’t complain about “giving up my vacation time”. I had nothing like that on my mind, because to me that was a vacation. A vacation from going about my normal routine… a trip where I could theatrically express the things that I cared about for a while. A chance to hang out with a bunch of fun people that felt the same way. And despite the fact that I have no photographs from it, I’ll never forget it because it was so cool. Beck makes it sound like this is some kind of grudging thing he’s forced to do, damnit, by those stupid liberals, who he resents.

It must always be that Silent Majorities are never either such thing.

And, too: Some (parody) trolls that are so wretchedly full of Also Fail, as well.

From the 912 candidate site above:

Jake Towne from Nazareth Pennsylvania has signed a morally binding contract from 912candidates.org. This pledge assures the People of the 15th U.S. Congressional District of Pennsylvania, that we no longer have to hope for a candidate to live like we do. With the same morals and standards many Americans live their lives by, whether it be through our churches, families, or communities. Jake Towne is committed to these very same foundations.

So….how long before Jake Towne ends up in the paper with a sex scandal? The only question is – will it be a lobbyist mistress, boys, or doublewetsuits and dildos? Who wants to get in the pool?

The sleeping giant woke up because the covers slipped off.

I vote diapers and hookers, g.

Because we are coming. We the people are coming.

OGODOGODYESYESYES

There. Done. Now, will you go home?

Janet Contreras? Contreras? You gotta luv a good ole Murikan surname like Contreras! Down with immigration!

Here’s Janet describing the American dream: I work. I’m busy. I’m busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

So basically, she wants to go to work, ignore the rest of the world, and hope that someone else will take care of everything for her without her having to think about it.

But now she’s mad, mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!

Hear, oh hear the Slumbering Giant of Janet Contreras, and quake, oh liberals! She’ll march on Washington just as soon as her stories are finished on the TeeVee, and she’s done babysitting her l’il grandbaby while Thelma’s on the night shift.

Call me gullible, but I don’t honestly believe that all this spazzing out over Obama is because he’s black. No doubt it’s a factor but… I think this is the result of year after year of demonising every aspect of the Democratic Party. The Republicans have been promising that a Democratic winning the White House will be the end of the world, and now they have to try to convince their potential voters that they weren’t full of shit, that the worst has come to pass as they warned and…

Uh, anyways, I think this whole thing is more because of the polarisation (nerd!) of American politics rather than race.

The 9/12 Project is now fielding candidates for November 2010.

Awesome, thanks to the greatness of J–

I see that they have a candidate for Illinois Congressional district 5 that I’m familiar with: Rosanna Pulido, a lady who specializes in being a rabidly anti-Immigration latina. She’s successfully parlayed this gig into appearances on Lou Dobbs, Neil Cavuto, etc. In March 2009, she ran for congress in IL-5, and got about 19% of the vote, which I found surprisingly high. (The special election was due to Rahm Emanuel becoming Obama’s chief of staff.) She used to post on Free Republic a lot, as ‘chicagolady’.

Glenn Beck is obviously race-conscious. He was able to detect Black Supremacy/White Racism in Prez. B. Hussein X!!

And his flock does eat it up.

The Republicans have been promising that a Democratic winning the White House will be the end of the world

They truly believe that the Executive Branch is their birthright by divine mandate.

Once you come to realize that, it all starts to make sense.

Just Joe, you have a point. I basically thing it’s a both/and type of deal, not an either/or type of deal. We always joke about how, to today’s wingnut, liberals are all “Mexican Socialist Muslim Commie Baby-Killing Atheist Black Satanists”. Wingnuts ain’t the kind to make fine distinctions.

I work. I’m busy. I’m busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

First – isn’t it Land of the Free and Home of the Brave?

Second – what is with the teabaggers and their clear aversion to writing competent sentences that don’t rape grammar?

The obvious conclusion is that this lady is not a true American who knows the lyrics to our beloved national anthem and/or understands basic sentence composition. I demand(!) she be arrested and waterboarded until she admits her traitorous subterfuge and lack of real American citizenship.

What’s a little disorienting to me is that if Rosanna Pulido was like a shade lighter, and just a tad chubbier, she’d be a dead ringer for my aunt.

Also, back to the video, how are they “straightening out the mess…”? I don’t recall Glenn Beck or any of his booger munching sleepyheads being elected to federal office. Or did I miss a special election?

“straightening out the mess” = throwing temper tantrums like a two-year old predestined for early cobaggery.

Glenn Beck. America’s first Mormon televangelist/

-G

I don’t know why everyone is so upset about a la mode. Personally, I like having ice cream on top of cobbler or a nice slice of apple pie. Why, I….

…what? Alamo?
oh.

Well, that’s completely different.

Nevermind.

We the people are coming so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping for too long.

Veiled PREMATURE EJACULATION reference.

It actually started in the basement of the Alamo. That’s where they took Beck’s bike.

Watching the incredible wall to wall coverage of the biggest protests in world history, I am struck by the diversity of the crowd.

There are people of every hue of white, from Palin of pale to Boehner brown.

It’s very moving.

-G

Last night I was drinking Sauvignon Blanc.

So, dry white wine goes best with BRANES, then?

THE WEB SIGHT OF THE RANTOUL ILLINOS PRESS IS REPORTING A LARGE NUMBER OF SMALL HAIRY MEN WERE SCENE ENTRING THE SILVER SPRING METRO STATIEN AND SPEAKING A STRANGE LANGUEDGE. REVIEW OF THE VIDIO SURVAILENTS FOOTAGE SHOWS IT WAS ACTUELLY A LARGE HORDE OF TEH FUCHING FERRETS. THEY ARE CURRENTLY BOUND FOR THE GLENNN BECK TEABEGGING PARTY IN WASHINGTON. GIVEN THE CONSENTRATION OF FORMER JOHN MCCANE SUPPOARTERS ALL IN ONE PLACE THE POTENTIAL FOR FACE GANAWING AND SHISKEBAB CONVERSION IS MASSIVE. MOAST LIKELY GLENNN BACK AND THE OTHER LEADING TEABEGGERS WILL NOT BE GANAWED BUT INSTEAD TRUSSED AND SECURED FOR THE TRIP BACK TO THE GUANTANAMERA CAMP AT THE CHEEPEST MOTEL IN RANTOUL ILLINOS. ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE INTESTINEL EXPLOSIENS ERUPTING IN THE UNDERPANTS OF THE TEABEGGERS WHEN THEY SEE TEH FUCHING FERRETS ADVANCING ON THEM. TEH FUCHING FERRETS ARE FRUSTRATID AT THERE INABILITY TO CAPTOUR JOHN MCCANE HIMSELF AND THEY ARE STILL ENRAGED AT BEING STIFFED OUT OF THE BALEOUT CHECK MCCANE WAS GOING TO STEEL FOR THEM. THEY HAVE TRIED FOLLOWING THE FLATULENTS HE EMITS AFTER EATING HIS DAILY LARGE BOWL OF BEAN SOUP IN THE SENET DINING ROOM BUT HE WAS PARTICULERLY GASSY THAT DAY AND TEH FUCHING FERRET SCOUT TEAM WAS OVERCOME BY THE METHANE AND LOST HIM. THE ONLY PERSON TEH FUCHING FERRETS HATE MORE IS SARA PALING AND THATS WHY SHE NEVER LEAVES HER BUNKER BENETH THE WASILA TOWN HALL BUT INSTEAD ONLY COMMUNICETS THREW BORKEN ENGRISH POASTS ON HER FACEBERG WEB SIGHT.

Lloyd Marcus has some competition.

Arnold is “coming day and night”:

What if the giant needs a nap on the march from the Alamo to D.C.?

We the peapods endive-r to turnip in droves to make our a’peel ‘gainst the radishes of tyranny:

Lettuce squash the tuberous roots that artichoke democra-celery! We shallot fail to beet the un-carrot forces attempting to scallion back our corn-stitution!

You have awakened a sleeping Jolly Green Giant!

Is that monumental fail that I smell wafting down from the Faux Spews Review Stand in DC? Why yes, I think it is.

Call me gullible, but I don’t honestly believe that all this spazzing out over Obama is because he’s black. No doubt it’s a factor but… I think this is the result of year after year of demonising every aspect of the Democratic Party.

I agree – his Blackety-blackness is just the handle they’re pulling on. If Hillary had been elected you would have heard the same thing, only it would have had a feminazi-lesbo slant to it. If Kerry, they’d have gone with Franco-Boston-Brahmin with a touch of Elitist Ketchup for Teresa. They went with Deep-fried Bubba-hate when it was Clinton – now, of course, they luuuurvs them some Arkansas salt-of-the-earth.

They have no problem with black folks, as long as they’re Clarence Thomas.

laugh it up, libs. it is 9-12. we are taking our country back from the fags, the muslims, the blacks, the leftists, the liberals, the USA haters, the liberal christians, the fascists, the socialests and the coastal eletie chardonay slipping lattay drinking morons who think they can tell us in flyover country what to do

You forgot baby eating. A modest proposal, and all that.

Damn!! That youtube song. I’d love a transcript, but if I tried to write one, I think I’d go blind!

Call me gullible, but I don’t honestly believe that all this spazzing out over Obama is because he’s black. No doubt it’s a factor but…

I hear you and I agree that it isn’t always about Obama’s race.

The problem is that these anti-Obama issues were manufactured out of the gate.

This Contreras woman’s letter was published in June – Obama having been in office less than 5 months. Five months and the opposition was already livid and had already concluded that Obama was a failure on all fronts.

Yes – they would probably have done exactly the same with Hillary, but there’s plenty of “code” out there in the anti-Obama rhetoric that makes the racial issue clear. How many times have we seen “inner city constituents” called out of late, for example?

Contreras has twelve beefs in her screed. Let’s take a look at them:

1. Illegal immigration
2. TARP
3. Czars
4. Cap & Trade
5. Universal Health Care
6. “Growing government control”
7. ACORN
8. “Redistribution of wealth”
9. Charitable contributions
10. Corporate Bailouts
11. Transparency and Accountability
12. “Unprecedented quick spending”

I wish we could get an intellectually honest conservative on here to identify which of the 12 issues cited above Obama had earned legitimate responsibility for before he was in office for five complete months.

At 0:48 Katy Abram gives her “sleeping giant” sound bite.

The voiceover follows with “We don’t want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we’re morons.”

Katy Abram happens to be a moron.

With Hillary, they would have just used code for “get back in the kitchen, uppity bitch” in everything they complained about.

With Edwards, well, they would have re-played what they did with Bill Clinton. “Sure, he LOOKS like a regular southern white guy, but his personal life is FILLED WITH SCANDAL!!!11!!!”

Call me gullible, but I don’t honestly believe that all this spazzing out over Obama is because he’s black.

I disagree. Remember, a lot of these motherfuckers formed their root-level opinions about politics and life when Jim Crow was the law of the land. They’ve spend decades dining out on rumors that every Black political leader is either the second coming of Bunchy Carter or Farrakhan’s bestest buddy. They’ve spent lifetimes consoling themselves with the idea that no matter how powerless they feel they can still threaten Black people with impugnity; no matter how much their life sucks, at least they have Black people to shit on. They’re terrified that a Black person in power would do to them what they would do to Black people if they were in power.

But, in any case, why does it matter? What justifiable model do you have for determining how much of the Teabaggers’ froth is racism and how much is generic hatred of Liberals? What purpose is served by splitting that hair?

The difference between their hatred for a white, southern Democrat like Clinton and a northern, black Democrat like Obama is about as different as powder cocaine and crack cocaine. Same thing, just the latter is taken to the next level, so to speak.

Does this swastika make me look fat?

What purpose is served by splitting that hair?

It moves the crazies to a more acceptable place on the Evil/Stupid continuum.

But I’m with the racism angle: we’ve seen enough “Real American” touting to know what that means.

we’ve seen enough “Real American” touting to know what that means.

Except they did it with Gore and Kerry, too, who are extremely white, Remember “OMG! Kerry put SWISS CHEESE on his Cheesestake! Haha! Frenchman!”

Or “HAHA AL GORE WEARS EARTH TONES!! ELITIST!”

Call me gullible, but I don’t honestly believe that all this spazzing out over Obama is because he’s black.

They would undoubtedly gone ballistic, regardless of which DEMONCRAT!!1! was elected, but the fact that Obama is black has added a whole new level of intensity. Remember that Obama won the white blue collar vote in pretty much every state (including Pennsylvania) outside of the South. My native (no longer home thank dog) state Oklahoma was the only state in the union where Obama failed to win a single county. It is not an accident that Joe Wilson is from South Carolina, a former aide to Strom Thrumond who declared him one of South Carolina’s greatest statesmen, and is a member of the Sons of the Confederacy. Likewise, you did not see a 400% increase in threats against the President when Clinton got elected.

Except they did it with Gore and Kerry, too, who are extremely white

Not in the same way and not in the same context. Birther shit has made it into the halls of government.

It’s pretty natural to try to demonize the other guys, and they did that. But they get to be even wilder in their anger now. Glenn Beck accusing the president of hating white people, etc.

Are we Beck followers who render dates in the British style, or are we commemorating the end of the Studebaker production line? Join our growing movement to find out!

They’re sleeping and coming? The poor bastards are trapped in a wet dream.

The poor bastards are trapped in a wet dream.

Why yes they are and, as we always knew they would, they have fucked that up, too.

Not in the same way and not in the same context. Birther shit has made it into the halls of government.

Glenn Greenwald has posted on this very topic today.

This is why I have very mixed feelings about the protests of conservatives such as David Frum or Andrew Sullivan that the conservative movement has been supposedly “hijacked” by extremists and crazies. On the one hand, this is true. But when was it different?
~

But when was it different?

In the 1950s, that oh so reasonable and principled conservative William Buckley, along with the National Review, aggressively opposed desegregation and equal rights and said that white Southerners should use “whatever means necessary” to maintain the “proper order”. Thus it has always been and thus it will always be.

The 9/12 Project is like a Tard-a-palooza for old , fat , pasty white folks.
It’s got that”County Fair” smell

Not in the same way and not in the same context. Birther shit has made it into the halls of government.

They impeached Clinton. For a blow job.

They impeached Clinton. For a blow job.

My interpretation of that whole episode is that they impeached him for being smarter and more popular, i.e., Clenis Envy.

Shorter video:
Requiem for a teabagger.

Remember the old days when marching on Washington made you a jack-booted dirty fucking hippy?

Oh wait that’s right, NO ONE has ever really marched on Washington before and NEVER have this many people gathered together EVER to protest a sitting president!!

EVER x ∞!

My interpretation of that whole episode is that they impeached him for being smarter and more popular, i.e., Clenis Envy.

Well, yeah. That too.

NO ONE has ever really marched on Washington before and NEVER have this many people gathered together EVER to protest a sitting president!!

Nope. This never happened.

Here’s the question, though: If all these bumper sticker patriots are in D.C., who’s protecting America’s nether regions this weekend?

Strawberry Point, IA? Exposed!
Hustisford, WI? Exposed!
More importantly – San Antonio, TX? Fucking EXPOSED!

While these Little Miss Sunshine Patriots and off-duty Civil War Reenactment Understudies are living it up in D.C., burning their Social Security cards and mugging for the god damned cameras, their neighbors are left to defend themselves against the hordes of marauding imaginary threats to Liberty and Home Schooling. Hordes, people!!

I hope when these assholes go home, their neighbors tear them limb from limb, hang their testicles from the nearest church steeples and force the women to get jobs.

am getting this message right…. these people are giants who come in their sleep? enormous pubescent and angry, that’s bad news.

these people are giants who come in their sleep

I am pretty sure that is the only time they cum, which is why they are so pissed off.

Fun with numbers and citizen journalism. Vodkapundit:

Barbara [Espinosa, who’s supposed to post pictures soon] tells me CNN is estimating the crowd at two million, but half that seems more realistic according to other folks on the ground. I’d say CNN (or someone) is gaming the expectations.

Still, that’s a lot of people.

CNN:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — On the final stop of the Tea Party Express, tens of thousands marched to the U.S. Capitol on Saturday to protest health care reform, higher taxes and what they see as out-of-control government spending.

Yes, gaming.

Yes, gaming.

Now, now. That is just an honest error. Anybody could be off by a factor of 100 like that.

The 9/12ers are coming and they will destroy with their tortured syntax.

“Jake Towne is campaigning for U.S. Congress as an independent private citizen. Under no party does he stand. Only to the People of the 15th district does he lend his ear to and give his voice for. As Jake says ” The intent of my campaign is to become a Congressman who listens to ideas from both you and everyone to create the best possible solutions to our economic, social, political and environmental problems.”

Jake Towne is campaigning for U.S. Congress and makes Sarah fucking Palin sound coherent and erudite.

defn.
Weasel :

1. Small furred rodent.
2. See Vodkapundit, also.

Weasel :
1. Small furred rodent.
2. See Vodkapundit, also.

Well, technically the latter is shit weasel.

both you and everyone

Well that solves the dilema of how many 9/12ers are actually at the protest in DC. Using the 9/12er math I figure there are 2 protesters. Really, I counted both that guy and everyone.

Call me gullible, but I don’t honestly believe that all this spazzing out over Obama is because he’s black.

There is this interesting statistic to consider: threats on the President’s life are up 400% since Obama took office.

Now, perhaps someone better in math can do the calculations, but Bush was one of our least popular presidents, and Obama has been in positive approval for his entire presidency, usually very positive. So, given that discrepancy, and given that Obama gets four times the death threats, how much more loony is his opposition?

Yes, Vodkapundit’s shit weasel bona fides are represented by his lifetime membership in the Self-Important Urban Wrangler Driver Club.

L**81

And in this corner!

THE MAN WITH NO ACTUAL PARTY AFFILIATION!!!

“About 30,000 registered for the “9/12 march”…but it is unclear whether that many turned out on Sunday.” http://tinyurl.com/nf4wcy

Connecticut has a 912 coordinator

“I am a public relations major from the University of Nevada Las Vegas. I am excited for this effort and what it can and will do for us as Americans. For too many years, the government has been taken from us. It has been made overtly complicated to allow for bribes labeled with the euphemism “pork” to bloat and hinder our American culture. We have a wonderful culture and heritage that needs to be reinvented into something that is in the public eye. No one today has accountability for their actions because everyone has an excuse. The media has become a spin zone where people can ultimately do just about anything and get away with it if enough people are willing to turn a blind eye. Let us wake up our fellow Americans our wonderful state and country into a place to be proud of. Let us take our government’s actions seriously. The implications are serious. The future of our children and our own futures depends on people being responsible and doing the right thing for once even if at times it isn’t easy. I would like to thank all of you who are willing to pick up this torch and go forth bravely into the world proclaiming this message. I thank you for myself and for my children.”

Connecticut has a 912 coordinator

Wow! I thought you had to be marginally articulate to be a PR major. silly me, that only applies to PR majors who are actually passing.

And in this corner!

THE MAN WITH NO MESSAGE!!

Some great signs on this youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fJFvlbijbs

Also, USA! USA! USA!

(Forget it,) Jake, (it’s China)Towne is campaigning for U.S. Congress

“About 30,000 registered for the “9/12 march”

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS MAKING ME WASTE VACATION TIME CLICKING A MOUSE!!!11!

The only question is – will it be a lobbyist mistress, boys, or doublewetsuits and dildos? Who wants to get in the pool?

Ewwwwwwww! Lifeguard, someone left a dildo in the pool! And a diaper!

“About 30,000 registered for the “9/12 march”

Looking at the video linked to above, I would say that would be a very generous estimate of turnout.

“a patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long…”

Granted (!), this sub-Swankian phrase makes no sense. But it reminds us of how much fun it is to scramble the little magnetic Wing-Nut word tiles on the fridge to come up with novel and amusing Dada-Nut-isms ™.

You work for the people. Listen to the people. The crazy, crazy people.

“Only to the People of the 15th district does he lend his ear to and give his voice for.”

Pls. tell me this is real. Otherwise, up with this I will not put.

Fun Fact: Jake is from Nazareth–home of Martin Guitars!

Looking at the video linked to above, I would say that would be a very generous estimate of turnout.

Wingnut writes: That looks like Half a Million there, like? when Luis Farakan did his Million Man March. It’s great to see soo many patriots and government dissidents to some really terrible things our politicians have done and are planing to do. +5

FIVE THUMBS UP!

That looks like Half a Million there, like? when Luis Farakan did his Million Man March

Uh-huh. Now go compare the picture I linked to above at 19:32 (from the Million Man March) with the pictures from today. Might also match them with this.

Vodkapundit has another update:

CORRECTION

It’s ABC (TV, radio? Not sure.) that pegged the crowd at two million, not CNN. Official estimate is 1.5 — but those numbers always sound inflated. Settle for a million and call it a damn fine day.

This is what I’ve found at ABC News:

Tens of thousands of protesters…

And another Vodkapundit update (ellipsis in original):

PLAYING IT DOWN

Here’s the WaPo lede:

Conservative protesters by the tens of thousands crowded outside the U.S. Capitol on Saturday, a massive demonstration aimed at stopping what organizers called the over-expansion of the federal government under the Obama administration.

Tens of thousands? Technically accurate, but…

But what exactly? He just lets it tail off.

I am excited for this effort and what it can and will do for us as Americans. For too many years, the government has been taken from us. It has been made overtly complicated to allow for bribes labeled with the euphemism “pork” to bloat and hinder our American culture. We have a wonderful culture and heritage that needs to be reinvented into something that is in the public eye.

Good christ! Are they all English-as-Second-Language Speakers?

Exchange:

Wingnut: Excellent. Let’s keep it up. Dissent is the highest form? of Patriotism.

Liberal: How come you opposed liberal dissent during George Bush’s term? To a? man, you guys said it was unpatriotic to oppose the president.

Wingnut: I didn’t oppose liberal dissent during George Bush’s term. Your? problem is that you are stuck in this false left-right dichotomy.

Are they all English-as-Second-Language Speakers?

Please do not insult ESL instructors like that.

We have a wonderful culture and heritage that needs to be reinvented

If a liberal had said something like this, this guy would be jumping up and down about “you can’t change what’s perfect, love it or leave it, argle bargle.”

“MzNicky said,

Now — was there something you sorehead loser tards had to say?”

Just wanted to say thanks to MzNicky for reminding me I had not contributed yet — just did my patriotic duty. Sure I got e-mails from moveon and all those polite people — but it took MzN to close the deal. Keep spreading the good word!

The poor bastards are trapped in a wet dream

History is a wet dream from which I’m struggling not to wake up.

Weasel :
1. Small furred rodent.

Wot? I thought we was all mustelids.
Fucking pelicans.

They impeached Clinton. For a blow job.

Well obviously they’ll latch on to anything because it’s what they do. But they are racist and they are being racist. It just seems kinda odd to take that off the table.

OK, I’m awake. Just let me take a dump and then I’ll meet you at Denny’s.

It just seems kinda odd to take that off the table.

True. It is quite central to their point(ed little heads and hoods).

It’s the shock. That Lee Atwater crap worked like a charm for 20 years. Then they suddenly woke up and realized: “OMFG!!!! WILLIE HORTON JUST GOT ELECTED PREZNIT!!!

Stop The Socialests said,

September 12, 2009 at 15:12

laugh it up, libs. it is 9-12. we are taking our country back from the fags, the muslims, the blacks, the leftists, the liberals, the USA haters, the liberal christians, the fascists, the socialests and the coastal eletie chardonay slipping lattay drinking morons who think they can tell us in flyover country what to do

Dude, I’m not a “lib”, I’m a S-O-C-I-A-L-I-S-T. And believe me, I’m gonna go right on laughing at all of you at least until you learn to spell the word, stop being so fucking homophobic, racist, religiously bigoted, and most of all, STUPID enough to lump us in with the fascists. YOU are the fascists, and all that’s missing is the swastika. (And WTF is a “coastal eletie”?)

BTW, a small s will do. A capital S is wrong unless you’re referring to an actual organized party by that name.

I’m a S-O-C-I-A-L-I-S-T.

Ditto. Didn’t know that living in western Montana qualified as being a “coastal eletie”. Maybe he is referring to Glacial Lake Missoula, though I am more in the middle of that on the bottom than on the coast.

“Hall of shame” slide show from Sept 12

It’s the shock. That Lee Atwater crap worked like a charm for 20 years.

It’s more than that now as they’ve painted themselves into corners into which reality does not reach: Clinton did get his blowjob and lied in court about it, while Obama is neither secret muslim nor communist.

You gotta long for the days when Eugene Debs’ 3% of the vote in 1908 terrorized the Democratic Party and the Roosevelt Wing of the Republican Party into co-opting the Socialist Party’s entire platform, giving us the Progressive Era Reforms. Now 53% of the vote isn’t enough to get the Republicans to recognize your election, never mind getting with the program!

Two things about the slide show Lesley linked to @ 23:17:

1. No, no racism there. Nuh-uh.
2. Dammit, I’ve been trying so hard not to be looksist.

While 30,000 maroons littered the lawn in Washington, an estimated 15,000 “roaring supporters” showed Saturday at a Minneapolis basketball arena to rally behind Obama’s call to overhaul the health care system
http://tinyurl.com/pq54bg

Where is Debs now that we really need him? Surely we can do better than some mealy mouthed mildly corporatist moderate centrist? Frankly quite embarrassing as an actual socialist to hear him called one.

an estimated 15,000 “roaring supporters” showed Saturday at a Minneapolis basketball arena to rally behind Obama’s call to overhaul the health care system

Hell, he drew over 100,000 to a campaign rally in Portland fucking Oregon, fer dog’s sake.

They impeached Clinton. For a blow job.

How do you imagine the current crowd would react if Obama got a blow job from a young white intern?

How do you imagine the current crowd would react if Obama got a blow job from a young white intern?

How long a rope do you think?

And what if he failed to close the tags?

Own up, people. Which of you drew the PENIS on the Silent Majority’s cheek while it was sleeping?

Check out the amazing parallels between the Glenn Blecchhh hysteria piece above and this.

Perhaps a case of life imitating art?

I think that this pretty much covers how they would react to Obama and a white intern

DrDick said,

September 12, 2009 at 23:34

Where is Debs now that we really need him? Surely we can do better than some mealy mouthed mildly corporatist moderate centrist? Frankly quite embarrassing as an actual socialist to hear him called one.

And lets see Ralph Nader get nearly a million (well, it’d take 3 million today for the same percentage) fucking write-in votes from a fucking jail cell!

The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge –

That narcissistic wanker Nader is not worthy to lick Debs’ boots after he has walked through the Aegean stables.

DrDick said,

I think that this pretty much covers how they would react to Obama and a white intern

If the Tea Baggers/Nine Twelvers were honest with themselves, that would be their anthem. However in their minds it would be a song of celebration.

If the Tea Baggers/Nine Twelvers were honest with themselves, that would be their anthem. However in their minds it would be a song of celebration.

Sung by Pat Boone and/or the crappy “country” band de l’heure.

Sung by Pat Boone and/or the crappy “country” band de l’heure.

Hank, Jr.

Studebaker Hoch
He’s really out of sight
Studebaker Hoch
He does it every night

If Studebaker’s from Boston, does that mean he’ll pronounce both “Lark” and “Hawk” to rhyme with “lock?”

Ha, they had to use a vacation day which, of course, was fought for and won for them by the damn dirty lefty union workers they would have opposed in the early 20th century.

“We surround them”- HA! How many would be up for a massive flash mob surrounding the Fox studios, trapping a scared-shitless Beck inside?

Weasel :
1. Small furred rodent.
Wot? I thought we was all mustelids.

Yeah, I thought it also, but cut him some slack. As an owlbear, he’s a genetic anomaly, so cladistics ain’t his bag.

I had a close-call with a mustelid about fifteen minutes ago, a dapper chap in a black-and-white coat. I got to within about seven feet of the sucker (who was hidden from view) before we both had our “Oh, shit!” moment. We both scarpered off unscathed.

It’s got that”County Fair” smell

But without the electrifying performance by REO Speedwagon.

D

But without the electrifying performance by REO Speedwagon.

WIN.

Time for me to FLYYYYY
Oooo I’ve just got to be freeeeeuuuh
Time for me to FLYYYY
That’s just how it’s got to beeee
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it’s time for me to FLYYYYaaaahhh
It’s time for me to FLYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE
It’s time for me to FLYYYYY

Didn’t know that living in western Montana qualified as being a “coastal eletie”. Maybe he is referring to Glacial Lake Missoula, though I am more in the middle of that on the bottom than on the coast.

In my case, the “coast” is the north shore of Lake Ontario. Well inland, although if you follow the St. Lawrence Seaway for a couple of days, eventually you get to an actual coast.

The cumming of teabaggers………. oh yay………….
(snicker)

Dick Armey looking every inch the gluttonous fat fuck he is + and his capped teeth http://tinyurl.com/o8jtbs

Wingnut sign: “I’d rather go to bed supperless than rise in debt” http://tinyurl.com/qwukhq

(The size of her thighs suggests otherwise.)

Where were these signs during the Bush administration?

“we are the formerly silent majority“
                 Democrats: Republicans:
Senators:               57           40
Representatives:       257          178
Electoral votes:       365          173

Thus endeth the arithmetic lesson.

Did anyone else spy the POOP badge in the photo gallery that Lesley linked to?

Nuttiest comments I’ve seen today from wingnuts;

I’m just disappointed that absolutely NO black people are? to be seen in ANY protests. Just because Obama’s black, doesn’t mean you HAVE to agree with everything he does.

——————–

If we weren’t outnumbered, McCain would be president today.

——————–

[Obama] needs to go. And he WILL go. Sooner or later. He is very close to lame duck status now….at the very least. But I suspect very? strongly that he will soon be doing the perp walk for attempting to sell his old senate seat. Blagojevich will give him up.

——————–

In America, when the right foot takes a step, it’s Fascism. When the left steps, it’s Socialism. Small difference between? the two.

Here’s my fave.

Gavin’s posted a photo of the newly arrived munchkin
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/24875.html/comment-page-4#comment-974900

I guess this “silent majority” thing means they forgot to vote or something.

Another oddball writes: Good on them for finding their voices. Here’s hoping that they don’t get completely co-opted by the GOP.

From a sign in one of the AP videos:

“OBAMA
WE HAVE WAKEN UP TO YOUR EVIL PLANS TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY. TAKE YOUR RACIST, UN-AMERICAN ACORN GROUP AND ARROGENT WIFE BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY AND STRIP THEIR RIGHTS AWAY!”

(sic)

I’m also recommending the “Hall of Shame” flickr set:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/42406957@N04/sets/72157622225019439/

A highlight:

“Nazi Pelosi” holding a hammer & sickle

also

Lenin + Stalin + Hitler + Castro = Obama

The surprise addition of Castro to the equation threw me off for a moment there – and then I remembered. Castro is where Obama gets his beard.

Did anyone else spy the POOP badge in the photo gallery that Lesley linked to?

YES. I’m hoping PENIS and TEH BUTTOCKS also made a showing.

Apparently it stands for “prisoner of Obama’s policy.” Did nobody realize that might NOT be the most effective acronym? God knows I’m not a marketing/PR person, but holy crap, how much thought does it take to come with an acronym that doesn’t label you as POOP?