Well, US is number ! when it comes to producing wingnuts and other such idiots.

A mean other countries just can’t compete with that, neither with quantity nor with quality.

We should totally build a giant ziggurat all the way to heaven.

Bill Maher was right on the money tonight in his message to Obama and the Dems to stop capitulating to the crazed loons.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/12/bill-maher-challenges-oba_n_284314.html

America isn’t fifth at anything worth being first at.

Wow. Just wow.

We should totally build a giant ziggurat all the way to heaven.

We certainly have a generous over-supply of Nimrods with which to accomplish that.

Bill Maher was right on the money tonight in his message to Obama and the Dems to stop capitulating to the crazed loons.

Amen. It’s been my fondest hope that Obama was just giving them enough rope for them to hang themselves, in the public perception. These vermin deserve no consideration at all when grownups are talking.

With a big hat tip to Fulcanelli over at Balloon Juice:

“As for the Republicans, how can one regard seriously a frightened, greedy, nostalgic huddle of tradesmen and lucky idlers who shut their eyes to history and science, steel their emotions against decent human sympathy, cling to sordid and provincial ideals exalting sheer acquisitiveness and condoning artificial hardship for the non-materially-shrewd, dwell smugly and sentimentally in a distorted dream-cosmos of outmoded phrases and principles… Intellectually, the Republican idea deserves the tolerance and respect one gives to the dead.” – H.P. Lovecraft

And I know I promised I wouldn’t do this any more, but…Howard Phillips Lovecraft==Tall Chap for Devil-Worship!

Somewhere in the bowels of SN, there’s a list of things America isn’t remotely close to being fifth at, never mind first. None of them are penis-shaped though.

Ahem. Apropos of the anagram thayng, I just wish to point out that I may also be addressed as Snail Joust.

Thank you for your time. We now return you to your regular scheduled program.

Snail Joust

Da-yum! I’ve seen some boring “sports” on TV, but that would take the absolute prize.

The video on Huffington gives only the last part of the message.

Here’s most of the first part:

Democrats must get in touch with their inner asshole. No, I’m not being gratuitously crude when I say that. I refer to the case of one, Van Jones, who was the man the Obama administration hired to find jobs in the new green industries…a smart thing to do in a recession. But Van Jones got fired because he got caught on tape saying Republicans are assholes. (Heh, and they call it news.)

Now I know that right now I’m supposed to be all re-injected with Yes We Can fever after the big health care speech and it was a great speech. You know when black Elvis gets jiggy with his teleprompter, there’s nobody better. But here’s the thing, Muhammed Ali also had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face. It bothers me that Obama didn’t say a word in defense of Mr. Van Jones and basically fired him when Glenn Beck told him to. Just like we dropped “end of life counselling” from health care because Sarah Palin said it meant death panels on her Facebook page. Crazy morons make up things for Obama to do and he does it.

Same thing with the speech to schools this week where the President merely attempted to tell children to work hard and wash their hands, and cracker nation reacted as if he was trying to hire the Black Panthers to hand out grenades in home room. And of course, the Whitehouse immediately capitulated. “No students will be forced to view the speech,” a Whitehouse spokesperson assured a panicked nation. Well isn’t that like admitting the president might be doing something unseemly? What a bunch of cowards. If the Whitehouse had any balls it would have said, “The President is giving a speech on the importance of staying in school, and if you jackasses don’t show it to every damn kid, we’re cutting off your federal education funding tomorrow.”

Democrats just never learn…[video picks up from there]

Da-yum! I’ve seen some boring “sports” on TV, but that would take the absolute prize.

The Red Dwarf book had some fun with it – I think the crucial aspects are (a) you watch it live, and (b) you get incredibly, completely, utterly, rats-arsed drunk. And gamble.

When the World Trade Center was first constructed it was the tallest building in the world. When it was destroyed, it was the fifth

In the middle, eight years of Ronald Reagan.

(a) you watch it live, and (b) you get incredibly, completely, utterly, rats-arsed drunk. And gamble.
But this provides NO GUIDANCE FOR HOW TO BEHAVE when the TV is dominated by a rugby game, like tonight.

So where’s the tallest building now—Taiwan? Man, that really proves they rule the fucking world, doesn’t it?

But this provides NO GUIDANCE FOR HOW TO BEHAVE when the TV is dominated by a rugby game, like tonight.

Well, if they wrap themselves up in 100 lbs. of padding apiece and stop playing every second and a half to stand around for ten or fifteen minutes, you can always contemplate suicide; that’s what I do.

If that is an attempt to make me defend UK-style rugby as ‘real football’ because it does not descend into such depths of absolute bullshit wankery as your woosy over-padded US game, then it is NOT GOING TO WORK.
In fact the Rats-Arsed Fairy has paid me a little visit and I’m not even watching the game.

I always thought those towers were too damn tall for the skyline & the whole $24.00 island. (Would’ve given the tenants 72 hrs. to get out before demolition, though.)

But Golddork wanted them back, & bigger. Fucking nitwit. Did he want the new improved model to provide a bigger target for the next time?

Say what you will about the start-and-stop nature of American football, but an unpadded player would break like a twig. Not wussy rugby injuries, but horrific things of the type they show in medical school as case studies.

Even with the pads and the space helmets and the airbags, it’s a dirty little secret that NFL players have their lives shortened to Jonah Goldberg levels from their injuries. This is why we put up with Tom Brady. His blood makes the crops grow.

Just Alison said,

September 12, 2009 at 9:53

We should totally build a giant ziggurat all the way to heaven.

We certainly have a generous over-supply of Nimrods with which to accomplish that.

Awesomely.Full.Of.Win. Brava!

Right now, the Empire State Building is still the tallest building in NYC, just like God intended.

Even with the pads and the space helmets and the airbags, it’s a dirty little secret that NFL players have their lives shortened to Jonah Goldberg levels from their injuries. This is why we put up with Tom Brady. His blood makes the crops grow.

Actually, the pads add to the level of injuries. The hard shell shoulder pads and helmets are effectively weapons. The helmets also give the wearer a false sense of security. Players will lead a hit with the helmet (even though it is illegal) or duck head first into a hit because they feel they have protection there. It’s not good for the spine when they do that. With the modern materials now availlable it should be possible to make pads that protect the wearer as well or better than what they’ve got without the hard outer shell weapon. Of course, then the problem is where are you going to put the pretty, shiny team logo.

well, at least we are not socialest like France or Canada, we have the free market, God and freedom.

It’s 9-12 liberal morons, we surround you!

From David “Bunny” Brooks’ masterpiece of fascist masturbation:

How did any group of builders muster so much vitality?

The answer is that this is an American building. For all its classical and Renaissance style, this 1897 building speaks to us in American. It embodies the optimism and brassy aspirations of Americans in the Gilded Age, their faith in the power of beauty to elevate, their confidence in America, their brash assertion that America was emerging as a world-historical force.

Bunny & Zoidberg: Two maroons w/ 1/2 a brain between them. Build your penees to the sky, Nimrods.

Other topic: You islanders & down-underians are all devolving smaller or whatever it is that happens on islands, but in the Heartland of Over-Consumption, our boys are corn-fed (And high-fructose corn syrup-fed!) Monsters of the Midway, not the descendants of scrawny Englishers deprived of adequate protein & nutrition for generations by their feudal lords & the English diet.

You try going to the mall w/o your pads & helmet on & having a 320 lb. dude w/ ‘roid rage (also jacked up on greenies) coming at you w/ speed rather surprising for his size.

When the World Trade Center was first constructed it was the tallest building in the world. When it was destroyed, it was the fifth

Well, we have the Pentagon. Is that still the largest office building in the world? I could look it up but not enough coffee yet. Of course the Pentagon does not jut high up into the sky proclaiming America’s manhood. In fact, it has a hole in the middle of it, it is the wrong sex entirely.

Stop The Socialests’ mama so fat she surrounds you with an army of one.

And the tallest building is in Dubai, so, you know: ARABS.

Don’t the have indoor snow skiing in Dubai as well? So not only the tallest building but perhapsthe coolest as well.

And hey! We might not have the tallest, but we do have the socialest!!!

Unlike France or Canada, New Zealand is merely socialer. Amiright, Smut?

Speaking only for myself, I am antisocialer.

Giant concrete-and-steel penis sheaths waving forever in Osama bin Laden’s face

And I’ve posted this before but it warrants repetition — most uncomfortable penis sheath EVAH.

I love it when Jonah Goldberg writes “for the record”, as if someone, somewhere, is getting all this down, or gives a shit.

I wanted the World Trade Center rebuilt, even bigger. You have to admire Jonah’s Hewitt-like courage in wanting this. And I’m sure he’d be the first to sign up for office space in it, especially after the paint the big bullseye on the biggest target in the world.

For a bunch of crazed religious nutbags, I’m sure there is no lesson that needed to be learned from the Tower of Babel.

Smut Clyde is very proud of his most uncomfortable penis sheath EVAH.

Ahhh, it wouldn’t be a baseball thread without some asshole to come in and never shut up about soccer, and it wouldn’t be a sports thread without the occasional rugby jerk to sour the mix. It’s sort of like how whenever you go to any given cocktail party there’s always one guy that doesn’t own a TV who doesn’t stop talking about how he doesn’t own a TV.

Also, the American version of the Office is funnier than the UK.

Ok Jp, I won’t be an asshole and talk about soccer, and I won’t sour the mix with rugby. But I will say…
Go Bulldogs! Whip those Saints!

After all, Dogs against Cats in the Grand Final. It just sounds right.

Don’t forget infant mortality. We are 33rd there according to the UN, right between Croatia and New Caledonia. According to the CIA, we are only 46th, between Guam and the Faroe Islands. Nice neighborhoods.

“Giant concrete-and-steel penis sheaths”

I’m so glad we went away from those olod conrete and steal condoms when they invented latex. They were not fun.

Also, is the title a reference? I feel like “no 1 in your heart attack” is from something.

From what I can see, the US is #50 in Life Expectancy at Birth.
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2102rank.html

It would be good if they made that area a park, complete with a Vietnam-quality- memorial.

From what I can see, the US is #50 in Life Expectancy at Birth.

As I indicated in my post on infant mortality, the CIA hates America.

Jonah Goldberg gives a bad name to dimwitted, jingoism spouting, only got their position through nepotism, fatfuck hack propagandists everywhere.

For the record, I’ve never much liked the idea of a living memorial to some hussy’s contraceptive failure, and so I continue to applaud you ongoing attempts to tear it down.

“Sirius Lunacy said,

Well, we have the Pentagon. Is that still the largest office building in the world? I could look it up but not enough coffee yet. Of course the Pentagon does not jut high up into the sky proclaiming America’s manhood. In fact, it has a hole in the middle of it, it is the wrong sex entirely.”

win

“This entry gives the number of deaths of infants under one year old in a given year per 1,000 live births in the same year; included is the total death rate, and deaths by sex, male and female. This rate is often used as an indicator of the level of health in a country.” – C.I.A. World Fact Book

(deaths/1,000 live births)
—————————–
1 – Singapore_________2.31
2 – Bermuda__________2.46
3 – Sweden___________2.75
4 – Japan_____________2.79
5 – Hong Kong________2.92
6 – Macau____________3.22
7 – Iceland___________3.23
8 – France___________3.33
9 – Finland___________3.47 …
14 – Czech Republic____3.79
15 – Germany_________3.99
16 – Switzerland_______4.18
17 – Spain____________4.21 …
21 – Korea, South______4.26
22 – Denmark_________4.34 …
29 – Australia_________4.75 …
32 – United Kingdom____4.85
33 – New Zealand______4.92
34 – Monaco__________5.00 …
36 – Canada__________5.04
37 – Ireland___________5.05 ..
39 – Greece___________5.16 …
43 – Italy______________5.51
44 – European Union____5.72
45 – Cuba_____________5.82
46 – United States_____6.26___First country to jump up to over 6.0
47 – Faroe Islands______6.32
48 – Croatia___________6.37
Others have quoted the same source, but I thought it was a nice touch to see it in context of some of the other countries. I edited out some for the sake of bervity

Other topic: You islanders & down-underians are all devolving smaller or whatever it is that happens on islands, but in the Heartland of Over-Consumption, our boys are corn-fed (And high-fructose corn syrup-fed!) Monsters of the Midway, not the descendants of scrawny Englishers deprived of adequate protein & nutrition for generations by their feudal lords & the English diet.

M. Bouffant, I beg you to consider the All Blacks – all determined to stamp some pasty white arses into the dirt (note the expressions on the opposition – a visual representation of “Ulp”). Not exactly scrawny, although mostly not descendants of Englishers either.

Julian Perez – get entirely fucked. I’ll be as arseholish as I want to be, and you can stick your assumed superiority in your hole.

well, at least we are not socialest like France or Canada, we have the free market, God and freedom.

It’s 9-12 liberal morons, we surround you!

Oh look, it made poopy again. Is this supposed to frighten me? It would frighten me more if it only knew how to spell…

You may be social, kiddo, but we’re socialer than thou, and as for me, I’m the SOCIALEST! Haha, pwned.

Even with the pads and the space helmets and the airbags, it’s a dirty little secret that NFL players have their lives shortened to Jonah Goldberg levels from their injuries. This is why we put up with Tom Brady. His blood makes the crops grow.

Ah, the secret is out. Tom Brady is the Wicker Man!

But I will say…
Go Bulldogs! Whip those Saints!

After all, Dogs against Cats in the Grand Final. It just sounds right.

As a Crows supporter, I will simply say:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

Other topic: You islanders & down-underians are all devolving smaller or whatever it is that happens on islands, but in the Heartland of Over-Consumption, our boys are corn-fed (And high-fructose corn syrup-fed!) Monsters of the Midway, not the descendants of scrawny Englishers deprived of adequate protein & nutrition for generations by their feudal lords & the English diet.

Gridiron is the game Australian Rules players play once they get too old and infirm to play Australian Rules. Fact. See Saverio Rocca and Ben Graham.

A number of Australian Rules and Rugby League players have taken up boxing once they finished their football careers, I believe because they realized they needed to slow down and calm things down a bit in their old age.

So since Jonah wants us to be first in everything, why aren’t we FIRST in infant mortality? “First country to jump up to over 6.0” — why haven’t jumped up to 600 deaths per 1,000 live births? Huh? Huh?

Oh wait … with our current healthcare system, we’ll be there already by the time ex-Governor Barbie wins the White House.

Darren Bennett too slightly peeved. 215 goals in 74 games for Melbourne, and the best hit I’ve ever seen a punter give. Punter on the NFL 1990s All-Decade team and one of Melbourne’s 150 Heroes in 150 years