Ben Caught Stealing (Dance Remix)

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==update===update===ditditdit===update===

Please click here for the funniest thing ever written in the history of human consciousness.

Oh God, here’s an even better one. Oh holy Jesus on a Segway…

And then click here and definitely here and here.

The text from the first two links is copied after the jump, because it’s so intoxicatingly, life-affirmingly splendid and perfect that we’re afraid it will be cruelly taken away and lost forever.

====================
We Must Defend.
By: Erick · Section: News

It’s true. Ben Domenech is Augustine. And I stand behind him 100%. He has said nothing filled with racism or hate, or bigotry. In fact, Ben has been a leader in keeping those he dubs the “evilcons” off RedState. Unbeknownst to all of you, RedState continually self-polices and purges its own ranks of those who might be allies, but are too filled with hate to function in the internet society we choose to create. We would not without Ben’s insistence at the creation of RedState be so self-policing.

Ben is accused of being a racist, gay, homophobe, an incestuous lover of his own mother, a partisan, evil, and now a plagarist. He is, according to the left, a right wing Stephen Glass who gets his jollies off with his mother. Only Stephen Glass could actually make that up — or a jealous group of haters. The lies told, from charges of plagarism to ties to Jack Abramoff are hyperbolic lies. There are no facts or truths related to any of these charges. They are meant to destroy a good and decent human being because of hate and jealousy.

Those blogs attacking the Washington Post and Ben are so hate filled and envious, they refuse to accept Froomkin as one of their own. That’s one reason they continue to lose the debate — the reality based community denies reality. It’s another reason they are disingenous in this argument. Horror of horrors they now have to share the Washington Post’s blog with Ben. How terrible.

For a group of people who yell at my side saying we censor them, jail them, and otherwise silence them, who now is censoring, silencing, and viciously, irrationally attacking? It’s not Ben. It’s not me. it’s not my side. His WaPo posts have been measured, reasonable, and pointed. In fact, no one on the other side has bothered to take on his posts — they are too busy attacking Ben and his family.

In the process these people are shooting in the foot bloggers across the board — shutting down opportunities to advance into the mainstream media that many of us on the left and right would otherwise have. Here is a guy who got started in the blogosphere and moved toward the mainstream media only to get savagely assailed from the other side. Should these people succeed, how many bloggers from either side will ever again get so far? I would suspect none — not when there are people closer to the media who would fit the bill. The media, already skeptical of both the left and right side of the blogosphere, gets to watch us all tear each other apart over something that would otherwise be insignificant. What media company would want to take the risk of a blogswarm? And the media gets to reaffirm its own self-image as the rational arbiters of news and opinion — clearly 1606 must be defeated. Look at this example as another reason why — bloggers are too immature to handle such freedom — they must be regulated.

And now those opposed to Ben have googled prior writings that on the surface appear suspicious, but only because permissions obtained and judgments made offline were not reflected online by an out dated and out of business campus newspaper. But that’s all the opponents want – just enough to sabotage a career, though in the process they will sabotage themselves. Facts have no meaning. Only impressions have any bearing on this. The charges of plagarism are false, meant to bring down a good and honest man. The presented facts to prove plagarism are specious — products of shoddy work. One could easily think the producers of 60 Minutes II were behind them.

Facts have never been debate winners among the haters. This is another example. But we on the right? Why are we silent when one of our own is being savagely attacked as a racist, gay, Puerto Rican homophobic plagarizer who sleeps with his mother when not in bed with his dad and Jack Abramofff? Why are we silent? We should not be, even if it costs us to defend Ben. Ben has done more and contributed more to our community than many of us, whether at RedState or elsewhere. We must not stay silent. We must defend our own. We must defend Ben. He has done nothing wrong. Nothing.

Ben Domenech deserves our full advocacy and defense. He has done nothing wrong and does not deserve urban legends about his wrong doing solely because of the lies of those who are jealous of his success. Should the other side win, they will be emboldened. And should they win, one of our own who has done no wrong will be immeasurable hurt by the hate, lies, and jealousy of those who would just as easily do it to you or me.

We must defend Ben.

Mar 24th, 2006: 00:40:44
Full discussion: http://www.redstate.com/story/2006/3/23/22434/5436

============================
We Must Attack.
By: machiavel · Section: Democrats

(Seconding Erick’s call to action.)

It was Hannah Arendt who introduced us to the banality of evil. There was more to this thing called “evil� than grainy newsreel footage of delirious chanting of “Sieg Heil� or the “Internationale.� Rage and hatred were not the first steps toward convincing seemingly normal people to go along with totalitarianism. First, repression had to seem normal. Domestic enemies were not hated – they were dehumanized. In the eyes of their countrymen, their souls were emptied of any qualities extraneous to Political Man. They were the imperialist/capitalist running dog/Jew/Trotskyite – and that was all.

In 2006 in America, we see perfect replicas of Stalin’s drones at work in response to about the only decent thing said about the Domenech affair on Daily Kos. It is an exquisite performance right out of the two minutes hate.

Acaben, a liberal friend of Ben’s, dares draw a line between a man’s character and his politics. For this apostasy he is mercilessly savaged. It isn’t anything personal against Ben. For these people, the personal and political are one. If you once served in the administration of George W. Bush, you are racist scum. As one of ChimpyMcBushitlerburton’s 62 million enablers, you cannot simply be a good guy to play poker with. Your upbringing is fair game. Your family is fair game. Your identity is drained of its non-political meaning.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a gentleman, as everyone who knows Ben Domenech will attest that he is. It doesn’t matter if you’ve accomplished more in 24 short years than addicts who derive sustenance from blog comments ever will in sixteen lifetimes of reliving Vietnam. It doesn’t even matter if your name is Ben Domenech. It only matters that the locusts have their target of convenience to feast upon for the day.

Because, you see, possessing opinions the Netroots disagrees with means you are the moral equivalent of zero. For these thoughtcrimes, Ben Domenech, one of the most decent and impressive people I know, is being tagged as something between a monster and Jeff Gannon.

Now is the time to close ranks, and not give in to the temptations of the circular firing squad. Chris Bowers tells us that Ben’s hiring signifies the death of the right-blogosphere. To the contrary, the scurrilous attacks on Ben signal the demise and fall of the left-blogosphere as an authentic alternative voice. They are now shills for traditional media and no more. In their world, all one has to do to escape accountability for twisting the news is to call oneself a “journalist.� In their world, giving conservatism a 5% share of voice on the Washington Post’s *blog* section is an “atrocity� that cannot be brooked. Call it whatever you’d like – but it is the very opposite of the openness, transparency, and free exchange of ideas on which the blogosphere thrives.

Michelle. Hugh. Rush. Glenn. This is the moment. Where will you stand?

Mar 24th, 2006: 01:01:41
Full discussion: http://www.redstate.com/story/2006/3/24/03958/4019

 

Comments: 100

 
 
 

lookie here…

Back in 2002 Ben accused Michael Moore of plagiarism!
http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:RMtnuzLcsMIJ:www.bendomenech.com/2002_04_07_archive.html+plagiarist+%22ben+domenech%22&hl=en&gl=au&ct=clnk&cd=1
Despite the claims of his defenders at Redstate, Ben knew plagiarism was bad more than 4 years ago!

 
 

Excellent work PM!!

Speaking of plagiarisms….498 numbnogginzzz!!!!!!

 
 

Hmmm… that photoshop looks familiar.

 
 

Indeed it does, jade. I’ve half a mind, I tell you.

 
 

If we can trust the liberal blogosphere, Ben also accused Michael Moore of being ‘fatty fat’ a much more horrific crime than plagiarism.
Extra bonus question, does Ben know Jeff Gannon?

 
 

No matter how brief Ben’s Post gig was, it’s still going to look good on his (Ctrl)C (Ctrl)V …

 
 

The wingnut trolls sure are upset this morning. Heh..indeed.

 
 

No matter how brief Ben’s Post gig was, it’s still going to look good on his (Ctrl)C (Ctrl)V …

POTD (and it’s only 2:15AM)!

 
 

They’re still defending this toolbox over in the wingnutosphere. What has he ever done for them? He’s been a “celebrity” for about ten minutes and he’s already crashed and burned. Stop defending him, you idiot wingnuts. He is D-O-N-E. I’m sure you all came to love and cherish Ben in the three days since he got his WaPo blog, but you must let him go.

Check out Atrios– you won’t believe how much shit good ol’ Ben plagiarized. As Atrios said, “Frankly at this point the challenge is finding articles written by him that weren’t plagiarized.”

There is nothing better than seeing a smug cocksucker get his comeuppance. Sweet, sweet comeuppance. Thanks for the memories, Ben.

 
 

It was Hannah Arendt who introduced us to the banality of evil.

Holy fuck. Yeah, there’s nothing that quite reminds me so much of Adolf Eichmann as reading the attacks on Ben Domenech.

“We Must Defend.” It is to laugh.

 
 

“ChimpyMcBushitlerburton’s”

Is this weird wingnut interprative dance on lefty jokes about Bush’s name getting longer and stupider every time it appears? Wasn’t it just “Chimpy McHitlerburton” when Glenn Reynolds pulled it out of his ass the other day?

I hope it keeps growing, though. Like, maybe in three more iterations we’ll get Curiouschimpgeorge O’McGoebbelsstalinbushhitlerburtonenronabramoff …

 
 

Holy fuck. Yeah, there’s nothing that quite reminds me so much of Adolf Eichmann as reading the attacks on Ben Domenech.

I can’t wait for the entire wingnutosphere to be all, “I am Ben Domenech!” … “I am Ben Domenech!” … etc, etc, and then they all get naked and bathe together.

 
 

Thank you sweet Jesus for Ben cough *Augustine* cough.

How could anyone think that calling Coretta Scott King a communist was in any way a negative or slanderous thing? And it seems like only yesterday Ben said “never trust a male cheerleader” (apparently, not only is he a plagarist, he really sucks at research too!)

Oh Ben, we hardly knew ye…buh bye!

 
 

How did you edit out all the Three Bulls! references so fast?

 
 

it gets better. ben plagiarized the Washington Post while writing for the New York Press.

 
 

The little shit stain was right about the male cheerleader.

 
 

RedState responds to their ‘accountability moment’ by…imposing a 5 day waiting period on new accounts. I’m so sure there’s a ‘waiting period’ joke that I’ve already made it elsewhere.

 
 

I stand with the fatties.

 
 

Does anyone else find it hilarious that nobody on the Right noticed his plagiarism of O’Rourke?

Well, his credibility has just been run over by the lawn-mower, which means that his future career as a reactionary opinionmonger is now rock-solid. Except that from now on they’ll be prefixing the name ‘Augustine’ with the word ‘Saint’.

 
 

While we’re all bashing (and rightly) BoxTurtleBen and the mindset thatproduced him, I srongly recommend William Arkin’s blog at the WaPo: Early Warning http://tinyurl.com/hqybd

Money quote:”A story: Almost three years ago, I was invited to give a talk to a high-level military audience about “information warfare” as seen by a member of the media. I had been writing most of 2002 about U.S. plans for an Iraq war, indeed I had revealed what the Pentagon felt were damaging details of the war plan. At the end of my talk, a Marine Corps Brigadier General asked the question: ‘Mr. Arkin, do you consider yourself a journalist or an American?’
…I took a drink of water as my blood boiled.

Me: ‘Well General, because I am an American, I cherish the fact that I can call you a f***ing idiot for asking the question.’ “

 
 

Maybe Professor Jack Block of the University of California at Berkeley has the explanation for the Box Turtle being such a wanker.

“The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity,”

“The confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests. The girls were still outgoing, but the young men tended to turn introspective.”

 
 

Those blogs attacking the Washington Post and Ben are so hate filled and envious, they refuse to accept Froomkin as one of their own.

Is there supposed to be a causal relationship between these two clauses, or is this just some good, old-fashioned shitty writing?

Also, where can I find all these posts about oedipal Ben. Those sound pretty awesome.

 
 

499 daffodillz!!!!

 
 

I’m worried about that second article on the imperative of attack. Something tells me that an army of people equipped with Renaissance Festival cardboard swords and velvet 12-sided dice pouches will be takin’ it to the streets this morning.

 
 

Huzzah!

 
Lizardoid Johnson Freeper
 

The kerning on the Washington Post front page article looks suspicious. Also, I know fonts and those are not the fonts the Post uses.

I’m also an expert on Photoshop and that alleged picture of Ben is actually Jayson Blair that has been altered.

Someone call Assrocket and Red State fellow conservatives. We must defend this heinous attack on the purity and integrity of the Conservative movement. America’s destiny is at stake.

 
 

well, there’s no such thing as bad press. dude’ll wind up with a book deal, or at least an “all is forgiven” gig back at Regnery. Just like Ollie North, in the “minds” of wingers he’ll wind up a hero for being a schmuck.

 
 

“As one of ChimpyMcBushitlerburton’s 62 million enablers”

We Must Attack.
By: machiavel · Section: Democrats

Is Machiavel really Jeff Goldstein, pet proctologist? Someone sniff his finger.

 
 

LOOKS LIKE BEN IS ON HIS OWN!
NO MICHELLE, NO HUGH, NO RUSH, NO GLENN!
ALL NO COMMENT!

 
 

Tim O. got to it before I could — there’s been nothing more than chirping crickets from the folks that RedState hilariously beseeched to come to Ben’s aid, and I’ll bet good money that there’s never going to be. Michelle, Hugh, Rush, and Glenn may be mindless mouthpieces, but they’re still savvy enough to know this kid is damaged goods.

 
 

A google project for someone who has more time than I do:

Remember Blair Horstine? She sued her high school when they made her co-valedectorian because her high grades had been earned through home study. She was reviled. When Harvard dumped her upon discovering she had plagiarized stories in her high school newspaper, righties everywhere chortled and derided her “I didn’t understand attribution” defense.

Do you suppose any of those righties are the same ones now leaping to Benny’s defense?

 
 

what is it with these charges of jealousy? seriously. is anyone here jealous?

 
 

I feel a bit sad for the poor sap, but he certainly brought it on himself. He is also very, very strident. I fear that he is getting what he deserves.

Manshake

 
 

They are meant to destroy a good and decent human being…

I’m lost. I thought the RedState post was about Ben.

 
 

He’s a serial plagerist. The list of writtings he stole is extensive.

 
 

This is all too hilarious.

Just wish I could find a better comment than that to plagarize.

 
 

Ah yes, the “YALL JUS JELLUS” defense.

 
 

I am sick of liberals and their hate and facts and rage and evidence and slime and hypocrisy-spotting and

 
 

Don’t be a hater. Your callousness is making Jesus sing the blues!

 
 

Josh Trevino (they call me “Tacitus” for my tacit acceptance of lying and cheating!) has pulled the he-was-only-a-teenager defense. Dude. DoMenace is *24*.

 
 

FlipYrWhig, you don’t understand the sliding scale. They get until somewhere around 25 or 26 to learn honesty and until somewhere past 41 to get over committing extramarital youthful indiscretions. See Hyde, Henry.

 
 

Malkin weighed in, says we moonbats have the goods and Ben should resign.

That Red State post is like the part in Song of Roland, where Roland literally uses his last breath for a trumpet blast that will summon aid, but no one comes.

 
 

Harvard dumped her upon discovering she had plagiarized stories in her high school newspaper, righties everywhere chortled and derided her “I didn’t understand attribution” defense.

Minor correction– The articles in which she included plagiarized material were published in her local newspaper.

 
 

Michelle has commented. The Belle Tolls.

 
 

Pitiful, just pitiful. How lazy does he have to be to do this? Plagiarising movie reviews? Pitiful, just pitiful. And they defend him for it? How low can journalistic standards fall when they defend this type of thing? Pitiful, just pitiful.

 
 

RedState is done, right? How can they regain any respectability amongst their readers after posting such an insane defense of Box Turtle Boy?

Oh, and where do they get their charges that people are calling him gay? Commenters maybe, but no bloggers seem to have ever levelled any sort of ad-hominem attack on the poor little thing.

 
 

I’m worried about that second article on the imperative of attack. Something makes me feel that an army of people equipped with drama class cardboard swords and velour 12-sided dice bags will be taking it to the roads this morning.

 
 

Sad, just sad. How slack does he have to be to do this? Plagiarising film reviews? Sad, just sad. And they defend him for it? How low can journalistic standards drop when they defend this type of thing? Sad, just sad.

 
 

Well played, Yosef. Well played, indeed.

 
 

“Now is the time to close ranks, and not give in to the temptations of the circular firing squad.” That phrasing just has to inspire the hell out of Red Orgers.

Churchill calms Britain during the bombing of London: “Remember y’all, don’t give in to the temptation shoot each other.”

“If the British Empire shall last a thousand years, let them say, ‘This was not the moral equivalent of zero.'”

“Rush? Michelle? Help me out here.”

 
 

RedState is done, correct? How can they regain any respectability amongst their followers after posting such a crazy defense of Terrapene carolina Lad?

Oh, and where do they get their charges that people are calling him homosexual? Commenters maybe, but no bloggers seem to have ever levelled any sort of personal attack on the poor little guy.

 
 

I wrote a poem as a sad commentary to these allegations. I call it: “Ode on a Grecian Urn”. Would you like to read it?

 
 

Is plagarism still the best form of flattery or is it now more like doing the eyebrow wave at someone?

 
 

This feels like some sort of watershed, don’t it? As the Great God Digby sez, teh MSM really might be breaking itself past the point of repair. It’s kind of remarkable – just when you think Howie Kurtz can’t be any bigger a cobag, he goes and does it.

 
 

To: Michelle Malkin

From: Ben Domenech

Damn, bitch! I edited all the “dirty nips” out of your internment book! This is how you repay me?

Current Mood: /:^( disappointed

 
 

Oh. My. God. Michelle Malkin admits that the left blogosphere is right. It will take all day for me to wrap my mind around that.

 
 

In a sure sign of the apocalypse, I actually respect Michelle Malkin for not only calling for BTB to resign, but linking a far more eloquent call for resignation by Rick Moran, as well. She’s still a racist psychotic, but she has a tiny bit of integrity.

 
 

Erick thinks that going from the internet to MSM is a move up? How funny!!

 
 

Et tu, Michelle?

 
 

Librul bloggers who point out Ben’s serial plagiarisms = Hitler. You gotta love it.

 
 

Et tu, Michelle?

Wow– even here, “Ben” has to crib from The Bard cribbing from ol’ Julius. Sad.

 
 

Oh. My. God. Michelle Malkin admits that the left blogosphere is right. It will take all day for me to wrap my mind around that.

Michelle is crazy, but she’s worked hard at coming up with her own, original craziness. Anyone who has slogged through the world of political writing and made a name for themselves has no tolerance for plagarists.

 
 

Apple-C Apple-V:

“No matter how brief Ben’s Post gig was, it’s still going to look good on his (Ctrl)C (Ctrl)V …

POTD (and it’s only 2:15AM)!”

OK, so this is like a 1% joke, or less. Those of us who have done curricula vitae (CVs) and who work with MS or Apple get this obscure but totally hilarious joke.

To those unfamiliar so far with the abbreviations of universities … or perhaps with the “copy” and “paste” macros … this is a vicious computer geek/university slap in the face.

I would like to shake the hand of the man or woman who first noticed the equivalence between copy-and-paste and the CV (curriculum vitae — list of life’s works). It is both a vicious snark against those of our colleagues who copy/paste other people’s work as their own (I know one in particular. Grrrr.), and a flagrant/fragrant reminder to those of us in academia.

One doesn’t plagiarize. It’s so wrong. It’s so stupid. Even worse, for some of you conservative relativists, it’s so easy to catch.

But I suppose if you have nothing better to do, put one your (Ctrl)C-(Ctrl)V comments here to rebut me or to defend what’s-his-name and others. Original work from the right is sooo rare.

(I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Write something original!)

 
 

P.S. Sorry. Knowing this crowd, you probably got it before I laboriously … um … belabored the joke. I’m just used to audiences who don’t get a joke until it’s spelled out. I beg your pardon if I insulted your intelligence.

 
 

I’m not a wicked smart right wing blogger, but if the charges of father raping and mother fondling are so unhinged, why bring them up twice before you ever get past the second graf of your defense?

The frat boy doth protest too much…

 
 

So how long until the Freepi and Chazmonauts start hypothesizing that the whole Ben D mess was an intentional ploy on the part of the WaPo? I mean, how ingenious: hire a right-wing blogger that you know is a plagiarist to “represent the right” online, then wait for him to get discredited. A cunning plan if ever a plan was cunning! And now, even Michelle Merkin has taken the bait! Oh, those librul gnomes at the Post must be chortling and rubbing their hands evilly.

 
 

Surely the Post knew he was a serial plagerist and hired him just to discredit the right!

Hmmm, they might really try that one.

 
 

Beat you, Njorl.

 
 

Domenech just resigned.

Damn, now the fun is just about over.

 
I. Luv Goldberg
 

I do appreciate him and his fellows fighting the wicked ‘evilcons’ over there.

So we don’t have to fight them over here.

 
 

Shorter Malkin:

Yeah, Ben’s a plagiarist and he should resign, but the Left needs to SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

 
 

Washingtonpost.com exec. editor Jim Brady: “Plagiarism is perhaps the most serious offense that a writer can commit or be accused of.”

Even worse than ending a sentence with a preposition!

 
 

Fine, DA.

Plagiarism is perhaps the most serious offense that a writer can commit or be accused of, asshole.

 
 

Haha … thanks, Jim. But what about identity theft?

 
 

If it doesn’t bend you must defend!

(Ohhhhh, I’m too late.)

 
 

“As someone who has worked in daily journalism for 14 years…” – MM

Worked?! You mean whored, right?

 
 

He’s got that smugly-arrogant smirk you see on many reich-wing gasbags like Scarborough and Limbaugh.
Eminently punchable.

 
 

“”No matter how brief Ben’s Post gig was, it’s still going to look good on his (Ctrl)C (Ctrl)V …”

“OK, so this is like a 1% joke, or less.”

I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF.

This whole debacle is turning into… a whiole debacle.

A row of laughing skulls with candles in them to all the rightwing thumb-typers who have happily betrayed the Constitution.

 
 

Even worse than ending a sentence with a preposition!
Yes, that is something up with which I cannot put.

 
 

Hey, I think “Chimpy McHitlerburton” is hilarious. I now refer to Bush by no other name.

Score one for Glenn.

 
 

Yes, that is something up with which I cannot put.

In the past 24 hours, we learned of allegations that Stoffel plagiarized Winny Churchill in material that appeared over his byline in the comments at sadlyno.com.

 
 

How did that old joke go …

Avoid cliches like the plague.

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

Always avoid recklessly splitting an infinitive.

There were a couple of others, anyone remember them? Anyone not think I’m a total chumpnugget?

 
 

Comma splicing is incorrect, there is no excuse for it.

 
 

Why are we silent when one of our own is being savagely attacked as a racist, gay, Puerto Rican homophobic plagarizer who sleeps with his mother when not in bed with his dad and Jack Abramofff?

Ooh! Teh hot!

 
 

Please STOP all this hilarity.

My sides ache. C.V. Very witty. Velly velly witty!

NOW…..

Ben sez “P.J. said it was O.K. by him..”

P.J sez…. “Ben who? Never fcuking heard of him.”

I fear there may be a sad finale to this sad story….

…….involving a mouth a barrel and a bullet.

I mean? What will he do for an encore? And what better way to exit stage right than to play the ultimate victim and in the name of patriotism attempt to take the nasty librul blogosphere down with him.

Fundamentalists of alll stripes only really have ONE exit strategery from the corner into which they paint themselves.

UP!

There….

 
 

The below rules are in fact good ones, which have made me for one a more eloquent and better writer, with much clearer and more understandable prose.

47 RULES FOR WRITERS:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary;
it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical
words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you
know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a
million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. The passive voice should never be used.
36. Do not put statements in the negative form.
37. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
38. A writer must not shift your point of view.
39. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their
antecedents.
40. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
41. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
42. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
43. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
44. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
45. Always pick on the correct idiom.
46. The adverb always follows the verb.
47. Be careful to use the rite homonym.
And Finally…
47. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

 
 

Lord Chimp, you are my new God that I don’t believe in!

 
 

I never post a comment (well, OK, sometimes) unless I can violate at least a few of Lord Chimp’s rules.

 
 

come on comrade-the only se for you
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Please, let him review the next Michael Moore movie, or Al Gore film, or screen write for Oliver Stone.

He could be the solution to the (ghost)writer’s strike.

A new book to the three steps of journalism:
1)Copy
2)Paste
3)Profit!

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

THIS IS THE MOMENT

 
 

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