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Shorter Robert Stacy vonCain, The Other McCain
On Jews and Liberals

  • The only way to get Jews to vote Republican is to move them out of big cities, if you know what I mean.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 258

 
 
 

The Republican Party is chiefly devoted to political policies having nothing specifically to do with evangelical Christianity. Yet there is an entire industry of liberal propagandists who specialize in seeking out various outre pronouncements of “Religious Right” leaders and presenting these views as if they would become firm policy in the next Republican administration.

*snicker*

*guffaw*

HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

*gasp, wipe eyes*

. . .
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

unnnnn,,, *catches breath*

Heh. And his point was… what, again?

(Oh, and also – bonus DUMBSHIT WINGNUT POINTS for the banner ad he (he?) has over there with the “TERROR IN THE HEARTLAND” and the terrorist cell of Tebaggers blather. Yeah, laugh it up now, Chuclenuts; we’ll be tattooing that shit on your forehead when the next tim McVeigh comes along and you try to pull the “BUT WE DI’NT DO NUTHIN’!” shit you fuckclowns did back in ’95. Count on it.”

 
 

So why the picture of Richard Herring?

 
 

“chuclenuts” – the new candy! Look for it at a bodega near you!

And I can see Mr. McCain’s reaction to any comments about suchlike as Bible-based abstinence programs encouraged by the government and Creationist propaganda in national parks – “OH WELL that’s just individual initiative! Nobody in the government REQUIRED that so I’m right! HAW HAW blurp blurp blurp *rustles papers*”. Never mind the Christian nuttery in the Bush Administration gave these people the green light. I could probably think of more, but I gotta go oil the gears of capitalism with my worker’s blood.

 
 

He makes conservatism sound like something you grow into, rather than it growing on you like a fungus.

 
 

Cheer up, kid. That’s just parsley.

 
 

The only way to get Jews to vote Republican is to move them out of big cities, if you know what I mean.

Perhaps McCain and his ilk could round them up and pack them off to some sort of “summer camp”, where they could all bunk together and shower together and…

Oh. I guess that was the point of the shorter.

 
 

Yes! A new Birobidzhan for the 21st century.

 
 

Yes! A new Birobidzhan for the 21st century.

Well, Oblastdi, Oblastda, life goes on, bra.

 
 

If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland, where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.

Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?

Thus, for the past several years, we were treated to endless liberal jeremiads against “abstinence education,” as if the sex-ed curriculum in public schools were the single most important issue in national politics. The propaganda purpose of this liberal campaign was to suggest to people who think of themselves as sexual sophisticates that the GOP is actively promoting ignorance.

If you wish to identify the source of the Republican Party’s electoral weakness among under-30 voters, this is it — even though, as I say, this perception of the GOP as “anti-sex” (or “pro-ignorance”) is strictly a function of liberal propaganda.

Yes, all those liberal lies claiming that Republicans tried to impeach Clinton over lying about a blow job have taken their toll. And how can those young people fail to observe all the Republican politicians calling for the legalization of same-sex marriage and adoption by same-sex couples? Are they unaware of the proud Republican history of fighting for the “liberalization” of laws involving sexual behavior?

 
 

Yes, if only Jews moved out of big cities, like my grandparents and great-uncles and aunts did before and after world war II. They’d vote Republican alright, like my Great Uncle who became Democratic Party Boss of Essex County.

 
 

If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland, where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.

Except Saturdays, and many major religious holidays.

Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?

“Deer Jew”?

 
 

I’m thinking the whole “diaspora” construct the Republican commentariat is hoping for is not, as Inigo Montoya might put it, “what they think it will be.”

Note the Census statistic as it pertains to economics.

 
 

You can file this on with the “why do black people hate Republicans?” stack over there.

But, that would lose the brilliant “liberal propaganda has convinced young people that Republicans are no fun” angle.

Hell, I’m complaining that that fact didn’t make the shorter.

 
 

hot-rodding is a Republican value?

 
 

Holy hell. Second “shorter” gut laugh in as many days.

 
 

hot-rodding is a Republican value?

Funny cars for funny guys.

 
 

America’s Heartlanders will be sooo welcoming to Moishe and Schmule, don’t you think? This idea cannot fail!

 
 

Coming to Fox this Fall: “Savin’ Our Bacon”
What will those crazy Jews do next?

 
 

“Did Jew See That??”

 
 

“Leave It To Baruch”

 
 

“Torah, Dang It, Nights: The Legend Of Reinhold Bubbeleh”

 
 

“Hee-OY”: The new 1 hour variety show with Buck Owenski.
“I’m a pickin’…and I’m a plotzing!”

 
 

“We’re in a Kosher Pickle Now!”

 
 

“Jew Eat Yet?”

 
 

<vroom!> “That wuz th General Levin! …oooh, them Dukestein boys!!”

 
 


Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?

Pol Pot Junction?
Khmer Rouge Acres?

 
 

This thread has great potential for nonstop hilarity.

 
 

“The Dukes of Hasid”

(hat tip to Capn Midnight)

 
 

hot-rodding is a Republican value?

That’s quite the tell right there. Stacy (That Is My Name) McCain thinks that is still a viable term down this way, whereas I haven’t heard the word since the last time I saw a Frankie and Annette Beach movie.

 
 

M*O*I*S*H*E

(with apologies to H*Y*M*A*N K*A*P*L*A*N)

 
 

whereas I haven’t heard the word since the last time I saw a Frankie and Annette Beach movie.

Was that “Beach Blanket Bingo,” with real bingo players from West Palm?

 
 

Actor212 is practically swimming in Win.

 
 

It’s a shtick, but thanks.

 
 

Ah, it’s “Conservative Communism” again!

“During the Cultural Revolution, the schools in China were closed and the young intellectuals living in cities were ordered to the countryside to be “re-educated” by the peasants, where they performed hard manual labor and other work.” (Wikipedia)

 
 

“The Bubbeleh Hillbilies”

 
 

“Jewberry RFD.” Watch what Barney Fivel, the bumbling tumler, gets up too…

 
 

Jenkins & Finkelstein: Simple Country Lawyers

 
 

“The Bubbeleh Hillbilies”

How did I miss that???

 
 

Moishe?

Wasn’t that a sitcom with Brandy?

 
 

“Hot-rodding the back roads…” heh heh heh…
Oooo baby…

 
 

Nope, M*O*I*S*H*E is the story of a West Bank military hospital with the wacky hijinks of Hawkeye Pavel and Trapper Yacob.

 
 

“Kung Jew”

“The Wizard of Oy” (OK, it’s a movie, but still…)

“Satmar Night Live”

 
 

Wasn’t that a sitcom with Brandy?

I prefer my sitcoms with a single-malt scotch.

 
 

As Lenny Bruce famously said “If you live in NYC, you’re Jewish. If you live in Butte Montana, even if you’re Jewish, you’re a goy”

 
 

I guess that should be “Greenberg Acres”, but my first thought on reading that RSM staement was “The Killing Fields”.

 
 

If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland, where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.

Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?

“The Schnooks of Hazard.”

 
 

Moishe?

Wasn’t that a sitcom with Brandy?

No, The Bronstein Bunch: “Moishe Moishe Moishe!”

 
 

“Moishe Moishe Moishe!”

How do you like it, how do you like your looooooox?

 
 

where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.

Why, your kids could have the rabbits and catfish they can eat!

 
 

where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.

They really don’t get the Jewish thing, do they?

 
 

“Hebrew Ha Ha”

 
 

Maybe we could encourage Jews to “move to the Heartland” by establishing an Office of American Absorption.

 
 

The Simpsonsteins

Eight is Genug

Freunds

Beavis and Bubbie

…and the one show we would NEVER watch:

Third Reich From the Sun

 
Uncertainty Vice Principal
 

The best part was “People tend to vote how they live”

So aside from the easy satirical target there (you mean that people go into voting booths and throw empty beer cans all over it, watch TV for a few hours and then pass out in there?) there’s the pure idiotic falsity of such a statement, metaphors aside.

People vote how they live? So all of those dirt-poor working class people who voted for John McCain are really mutil-millionaires and are keeping that a secret? All of the ones who voted for Bush, for Reagan?

And conversely, all of the limousine liberals who voted for unions, minority rights, are all really working class union members and poor minorities themselves?

People do tend to write how they think, however, thus this guy’s brain pan must be a complete mess.

 
 

“Hot-rodding the back roads…”

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

 
Navel Chamberpot, arch-appeaser
 

Does Manischewitz come in six-packs?

 
 

A Jew in the sun.

 
 

People do tend to write how they think, however, thus this guy’s brain pan must be a complete mess.

Yeah, good point. This is one of those “people don’t like us because we’re misunderstood, not because our ideas are repugnant.”

 
 

I lack sufficient knowledge of Yiddish to parody it but Bonanza seems ripe with possibilities to me.

 
 

He (brew) Haw

 
 

Look at how well moving to the heartland worked for the Mexicans.

 
 

Oy.

Phillip Roth should sue McCain.

The Plot Against America:

“”Fear presides over these memories, a perpetual fear. Of course, no childhood is without its terrors, yet I wonder if I would have been a less frightened boy if Lindbergh hadn’t been president or if I hadn’t been the offspring of Jews.” This is the opening paragraph of the book, which sets the stage and tone for all that follows. Fear is palpable throughout; fear of things both real and imagined. A central event of the novel is the relocation effort made through the Office of American Absorption, a government program whereby Jews would be placed, family by family, across the nation, thereby breaking up their neighborhoods–ghettos–and removing them from each other and from any kind of ethnic solidarity. The impact this edict has on Philip and all around him is horrific and life-changing. Throughout the novel, Roth interweaves historical names such as Walter Winchell, who tries to run against Lindbergh. The twist at the end is more than surprising–it is positively ingenious.”

 
 

Or look at how migration trends turned Virginia and North Carolina blue. And at how even Georgia was having some problems, especially around Atlanta.

 
 

Belly up to the Bar Mitzvah?

 
 

Leave us not forget everyone’s favourite variety show, Grand Ole Ofra.

Maybe there’d be more Jews living outside of big cities if people in the sticks weren’t like my relatives. Seems to me that if the people you live around hate your guts for irrational and stupid reasons, you’re not likely to stay put. To paraphrase someone here, my relatives are the big box of Ignant McNuggets, and there’s an entire McIgnant’s where that came from.

 
 

I lack sufficient knowledge of Yiddish to parody it but Bonanza seems ripe with possibilities to me.

I give you The Ballad Of Irving: The 42 Fastest Gun In The West

 
 

Argh, the “142nd Fastest Gun In The West”!

 
 

Hell, if you can get them to move to Florida, they’ll vote for Pat Buchanan.

What’s old is new again!

 
 

Seems to me that if the people you live around hate your guts for irrational and stupid reasons, you’re not likely to stay put.

What’s irrational about hating people who KILLED OUR LORD JESUS!?!?!?!

 
 

“American Yidol”

 
Prudence Goodwife
 
 

Oh, yeah, especially after the skinheads have been so helpful about informing America’s Heartland’s farmers about how ZOG took their farms away from them.

Nope, can’t see how that could go horribly wrong, either.

 
 

“Sealed With A Kishka”

 
 

Yentl Ben

 
 

Argh.

That comment was in response to “Paul T. Lazaro September 8, 2009 at 16:09”

rassin’ frassin’…

 
 

“Run, Rabbi, Run”

 
 

So all of those dirt-poor working class people who voted for John McCain are really mutil-millionaires and are keeping that a secret? All of the ones who voted for Bush, for Reagan?

For Buchanan, f’crissake.

 
 

While you’re laughing, Norman Lear is DEMONIZING.

 
 

By this logic, if you move teh negrahs and mooslims and gheys out of the cities and into Minorityvilles, they’ll also vote GOP?

 
 

I’ll be generous in my interpretation of the “Other McCain’s” remarks (one McCain is quite sufficient, thank you) by suggesting he meant to support an American version of the Pale of Settlement:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_of_Settlement

 
 

mingo said,

September 8, 2009 at 17:55

Yentl Ben

*passing torch given by Paul Lazaro*

Here. You deserve this more than I…

 
The Tragically Flip
 

It’s funny to see their wailing and gnashing of teeth over the sting of rejection from 1.7% of the population. They just can’t understand why Jews just won’t vote for them, and it clearly really eats at them.

 
 

Depicting the “Christian Right” as an especially benighted and menacing component of the Republican Party has, as Medved notes, a particular value in discouraging Jewish Democrats from reconsidering their political loyalties. To any liberal, the conservative is always the Other. But by depicting the GOP as dominated by the “Christian Right,” the Otherness of conservatism is effectively doubled — if not, indeed, magnified exponentially.

And that’s before the wetsuits and dildos! Exponential squared! Cubed even!

 
 

“Yids Say the Darndest Things”

“Mel ‘n’ Rose’s Place”

“America’s Funniest Home Circumcisions”

 
 

Dear THE JEWS: here is what you don’t understand, dummies.

 
 


*passing torch given by Paul Lazaro*

Here. You deserve this more than I…

{blushes}

 
 

Gefilte Fishing in America

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

The Chattanooga Jewbillies

 
 

Mingo is now sopped in Winness!111!!

 
 

A new market surge for jewing tobacco?

 
 

“Are You Smarter than a Yeshiva Bocher?”

 
 

And that’s before the wetsuits and humorless dildos!

Diaskuesated.

 
 

Mr. President, I want to be on the debate team!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

King of the Hillel

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Hogan’s Pastramis on Rye

 
 

Rusty Shackleford said,

September 8, 2009 at 18:16

King of the Hillel

Hillel Street Blues

L A Law

 
 

How I Met Your Mohle

 
 

Excuse me, that should have been “El Al Law,” altho LA Law works, too…

 
 

wasn’t there an Onion article a few years ago:
Fox executives defend showing controversial “When Jews Attack”

 
 

I Dream of Shiksa

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

America’s Funniest Banality of Evil

 
 

Did anyone else notice this: “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” Is that as stupid as it sounds?

 
 

Relocating Jews?

He thinks that’ll make them love the GOP?

Holy fucking fuck.

If Jesus ever DOES return, he’s gonna need a constant stream of full ice-buckets for his hands from all the high-velocity bitch-slapping he’s going to have to lay down on his flock.

If I was a rural American, I’d seriously consider hunting this guy like quail. As someone who’s done the whole living-in-the-boonies thing, I can tell you: trying to paint country folks as noble savages isn’t going to win you major brownie-points with them.

I’ve had pets who showed more decency & intellectual rigor than Stazi McCain.

 
 

Is that as stupid as it sounds?

Yes and no – it’s perfectly accurate, therefore not-stupid, but actually holding that belief is stupid. And the very archetype of reactionary.

 
 

Did anyone else notice this: “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” Is that as stupid as it sounds?

Wow. It’s the new “standing athwart history.” But it also opens a new line of attack: I’m a liberal, and I believe that you can’t hold your breath for ten minutes. Prove me wrong.

 
 

What happens when a city slicker moves South and partners with a good old boy attorney? You get Jenkins & Goldstein: Simple Country Lawyers And then you wait for the kookiness to ensue!!

 
 

But it also opens a new line of attack: I’m a liberal, and I believe that you can’t hold your breath for ten minutes. Prove me wrong.

There is a distinction between what liberalism believes and what individual liberals believe. Then again, people who buy that simplest definition aren’t clever enough to spot it, so that’ll probably work.

 
 

Well, if this project didn’t work out well, the show could be called “Ltttle Maus on the Prarie.”

 
 

“High Shul Musical”

 
 

Let’s Macht A Frei

Okay, I’m scraping.

 
 

(And, of course, h/t to CBC for actually coming up with a very popular show by doing this very same idea with, shall we say, a different Abrahamic religion.)

 
 

“High Shul Musical”

That actually made me chuckle out loud.

 
 

“Hogan’s Hebrews”: Inglourious Basterds meets Stalag 17

 
 

“Hogan’s Hebrews”:

STOP! My sides, my sides!

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Did anyone else notice this: “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” Is that as stupid as it sounds?

It is more evidence that conservatives actually don’t really know what they believe, or why. Hence why we call them “reactionaries.’ They’ve been struggling for decades to describe the deeper philisophical roots of their ideology, and all they can come up with is “smaller government”, “freedom” etc. Meaningless dreck.

 
 

I don’t have a gun rack in my pickup, but I keep a loaded H&K under the seat of my Prius.

I do like that Stacy put the term “pro-ignorance” in play as a description of American conservative thought. It’s perfect, really.

 
 

Alternate shorter: “If only we could convince jews that persecuting niggers, faggots and Messicans like we country folk do is in their best interest, they’d vote Republican.”

 
 

“The Wide World of Schwartz”

 
 

Oh, come on, no one’s got this yet?

Jew Wants To Be A Millionaire?

 
 

C. S. Oy.

 
 

“Little Synagogue on the Prairie”

 
Marion in Savannah
 

“The Wide World of Schwartz”

SomeNYGuy owes me a new keyboard, and it’s going to take weeks to get the coffee out of my sinuses….

 
 

Oy Spy.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

“Little Synagogue on the Prairie”

It’s been done.

 
 

The Ghost and Mrs. Mohel.

Matzoh, She Wrote.

 
 

King Biscuit Matzoh Flour Hour

 
 

“Little Synagogue on the Prairie”

It’s been done.

Little Kibbutz on the Prairie?

 
 

Lox in Space

 
 

Chaim In Charge.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

My goyim effort:

Matzohlock

 
 

“Bowling for Talis”

“Sex and the Shtetl”

“Ugly Mindy”

 
 

Father Knows Goldfarb

 
 

Mad about Jew — A light-hearted comedy about the pogroms in Russia.

 
 

“I lack sufficient knowledge of Yiddish to parody it but Bonanza seems ripe with possibilities to me”

Let’s see: Ben…check. Adam…check. Joe….check. Hoss?

 
 

“Seinfeld”

 
 

Matlox

 
 

Mayberry JDL

 
 

Hoss?

=>”Ferd”

 
 

This week is starting off nicely.

 
 

Oy. This thread is leaving me speechless…from laughter.

I don’t know…Batman and Rubin?

 
 

“Miami Weiss”

“The Goldman Girls”

“Win Ben Gurion’s Money”

 
 

“Miami Weiss”

Win.

 
 

Meshugge, P.I.

 
 

From the producer of
“Seinfeld”
“Curb Your EnJudaism”

 
 

If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism terror among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland, where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding hunted, chased and beaten on the backroads.

Fecksed

 
 

I grew up in Amarillo, Texas. You really should hear one of my high school classmates describe growing up Jewish in Amarillo. Hell, it was hard enough growing up Presbyterian amongst all the Baptists.

 
 

It’s a movie but:

“Mensch in Black”

 
 

The “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” bit eluded me, but I was skimming. Amusing, coming from someone claiming to be demonized as “Other”.

This one jumped out at me,

Think of Reagan, riding horses and clearning brush at his ranch

sic

I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.

 
 

Oh, and as if to directly answer the “This Is Sure To Pacify Them” post,

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/09/08/hannity-czars-job/

 
 

“Win Ben Gurion’s Money”

Forgive me, but isn’t Win Ben Stein’s Money already pretty Jewish?

 
 

A Musical:

OY-Klahoma!

 
 

On PBS, one to watch: This Old Sukkus.

One to avoid: The Eva Braun Workshop.

 
 

Another Musical:

Shlomo Todd: The Kosher Barber of Fleet Street

 
 

A medical comedy about doctors who aren’t quite up to snuff: Shlubs

 
 

The Producers

wait….

 
 

Another musical: Katz!

 
 

Was Rhoda a documentary?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Jewhart

 
 

Lefkowitz: Special Education Teacher’s Aid

 
 

Rhoda was about as unJewish as you can get and still claim to be Jewish.

 
 


I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.

I would use the word ‘conflate’, making this a ‘conflatus’.

 
 

I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.

I would use the word ‘conflate’, making this a ‘conflatus’.

Considering we’re talking about the “Heartland,” cornflatus.

 
 

with apologies to Dan Akroyd, Jane Curtain and ignorant sluts everywhere:

Michael Medved, you ignorant slut! I don’t for one minute think Michael Medved really is a member of my tribe, considering how clueless he is about our history and mores.

Does he really not have any clue as to why we Jews are particularly concerned about Christian religious extremism?

 
 

Meet Rachel, who’s lived most everywhere,
From Westchester to Washington Square.
But Daisy’s only seen the squalor
A girl can see in Possum Holler–
What a crazy pair!

 
 

“Jewhart”

Followed a couple of years after it’s run with “The Moshe Jewhart Show,” and after that, the short-lived “Moshe.”

 
 

Hmmm, maybe this isn’t as bad as it sounds…I grew up in a cookie cutter , All Merkin’ Suburb (Levittown!) and there were cross burnings on the first Negroes who moved there’s front lawn the year I was born (mid-60’s!). I had tons of jackass schoolmates afraid of the Big City and Negroes growing up.

Then I went to Big State U that was trying get their minority recruitment UP to 5% (and had a large number of people whose attitude towards any blacks on campus that weren’t either 6’7″ 290 or 6’9″ 215 was “how’d you get in here?”) and had exactly one black person in my major.

Right after that I moved to DC, then Baltimore. Did my attitude and tolerance a lot of good, seeing how other people than my prior limited experience actually lived. I voted for Reagan in 1984 (and regretted it about 10 mins later when he finished gutting student loan programs and being a fuckhead in S. Africa and Iran/Contra…right about when I started paying actual attention to politics), yet have pretty much voted straight Lefty ever since.

So, maybe those cracker assholes are on to something!

 
 

So Bigby, we could get the same result by having all the white folks move back to the cities?

They’d have to give up their Suburban Assault Vehicles. I don’t see it happenin.

 
 

it’s got eight cylinders, uses ’em all,
‘s got Torah-drive, just won’t stall.

Boychik, you’re gonna start me kvetchin’
if you don’t stop drivin’ that Hot

Rod

Lincoln.

srsly tho, there’ll be a whole new aftermarket for shifter-knobs where the R1234 or PRNDL symbols are replaced by Hebraic letters.

 
 

I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.

Ronnie had a real ranch, not a pig farm

Ahem. I believe for you youngsters that St. Ronnie was the First Brush Clearer; C+ Augustus was just copying him.

 
 

So, mingo, you’re saying he’s being conflatulent?

 
 

Meshuggah-berry R.F.D.

 
 

“Boychik Meets Welt”

 
 

“My Friend Shikseh”

 
 

Well, I stand corrected.

I remembered that he did indeed have a ranch and enjoyed riding, but I could have sworn that his brush clearing days were behind him by the time he hit the White House.

If it were possible, my esteem for W just dropped another notch.

Also, LOL, Ronbo.

 
 

“Star Schlep”

Jewwwwws Innnnn Spaaaaace!

 
 

Instead of Meet The Press, “Who Knew?”

 
 

Dork and Mindy

 
 

“Dork and Mindy“

“Mork and Minyan”

 
 

Followed 30 years later by “Star Schlep: Oy-ager”

 
 

“Whose Fault is it Anyway?”

 
 

Y’know, Andy Breitbart is right: based on the show titles we’ve tossed about, LA is full of Jewish liberals.

…makes you wonder how come a guy named Breitbart can’t get work….

 
 

Instead of Meet The Press, “Who Knew?”

I thought “Who Knew?” *was* the unofficial title for “Meet The Press.”

 
The Tragically Flip
 

The Oy Team

 
 

Alright, enough is enough, I think we’re having just a bit too much fun with the Yiddish slang and Jewish stereotypes here. Honestly, it’s getting borderline offensive.

It’s enough to make a Goy like me Meshuggah

 
 

It’s enough to make a Goy like me Meshuggah

Makes you cry over shpilkes milk, eh?

 
 

All these comments remind me of a series of illustrations and commentary in one or other humorous books by some Jewish author under the heading “if Jews really did run the world”. They had things like “if Jews controlled the banks” … “banks wouldn’t be called ‘Bank of America’ or ‘CitiBank’ but rather ‘Manny, Moe and Jack, the Loan Arrangers'”, “if Jews controlled the Treasury” … “the national debt would be financed by donations for people to have images of their choice on our money” (illustration: a dollar bill with a baby picture on it and a congratulatory note from “Nathan’s proud grandparents”), etc.

 
 

Wouldn’t that be “The Alef Team?”

 
 

Reversing the Jews—>wilderness theme, we get “Goys in the Hood”.

 
 

I’m picturing one of those “Nextel” ads–y’know, thoe ones that go “If roadies ran the world” or “If delivery guys ran the world”. Make one with the theme “If Jews ran the world”. Have a bunch of guys with hair in their ears kveching into their walkie-talkies.

 
 

Not to mention great musical hits like “Rock The Dreidel Of Love”

 
 

So American Jews are just rootless cosmopolitans, Mr. McCain?

 
 

Not to mention great musical hits like “Rock The Dreidel Of Love”

The jokes just write themselves! I bet Jews would make great comedy writers, if they weren’t busy taking over the world.

 
 

Completely O/T, but that Nordlinger guy at that Corner place has decided that it’s time all cons admit they’re teabaggers. Yes he did.

http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NDMxZGQ1Mzc0OTFiMGZkNDBmMWNlZTMzNzFhNDNkNGY=

 
 

The best I could come up with was: “Cooking with Rachel Vey”

 
 

Also OT, but I was away all weekend, and ma too lazy busy to go through all the last three days’ comment threads–does anyone know if DRMM has had her out-of-body experience yet? Or is Studly still body-building?

 
 

As of last notice, Studie still in holding pattern. Due date nominally Sept 17 and a pool has been started for the actual birth date and time.

 
 

Yeah — speaking of l’il Studebaker, is there a Sadly betting pool as to when he’ll make his debut?

I’ll go with 9/12. At 3 a.m., of course, which is the hour all babies are born.

 
 

D’oh! Cross-posting pileup.

Due date of 9/17 changes everything. My prediction is hereby revoked.

 
 

Well, I said nominal date. Kids are kinda like buses. Some are early, some late.

 
 

How does one get in the pool? What’s the prize? Is the fix in?

 
 

I am sure someone will correct me if the Sept. 17 date was misremembered or something. Also.

 
 

Don’t ever tell an expectant mother that her baby is like a bus in any way!

 
 

I thought it was the 14th.

 
 

Heeb-Haw, staring Oy Clark and Junior Schample.

 
 

DRMM promised some sort of prize to the winner. Jumping in pool most efficient. No word on fix, yet.

 
 

that Nordlinger guy at that Corner place has decided that it’s time all cons admit they’re teabaggers.

For once, I agree with him.

My entry in the Studie pool: 9/10/09, early morning like 4:30 a.m. And a lifelong stalwart practitioner of conservatard-hated “pre-9/11 thinking”.

 
 

I’ve got 9/16, 5 PM, and Gavin can’t find parking.

 
 

The jokes just write themselves! I bet Jews would make great comedy writers, if they weren’t busy taking over the world.

This thread *is* a fitting tribute on Sid Caesar’s birthday (he is 87 today).

 
 

Fuck, the gears of capitalism are getting well-oiled today, at least in this sector.

I assume the children of America remain unbrainwashed, and that this thread will be featured on Malkin’s and/or Pammycakes’ site as further proof of left-wing anti-Semitism.

I mean, how immature and irresponsible *snif* of us proles. We should handle political comment RESPONSIBLY!!1~! the way they do.

(Links to Cheerleader Malkin [batteries not included] and Wine-Drinkin’ Bathroom Vlogger Pamela [Mogen David sold seperately] are left to the interested party, since I can’t be arsed.)

 
 

So have all your kids been indoctrinated today?

Funny how the right wing made it so that more people paid attention to the President’s speech than otherwise would have.

 
 

So have all your kids been indoctrinated today?

Jimmy, let’s go to the map

Little Justin Jones, age 16:

Oh, and the part about students setting goals for their education and asking for help when they worry they won’t succeed? He is stealing the words right out of Karl Marx’s mouth.

I detect a future Sadlynaut.

Here’s tiny tot Rachel Lubitz, age 17:

Obama was also able to make the right wing news media whine and moan on for weeks and weeks about a speech about staying in school and succeeding. He made them look like overreacting schoolgirls jealous of the cheerleader with the quarterback boyfriend, and anyone who can do that has a friend in me.

Yep, the kids are alright.

 
 

Okay, I’m still gonna go with 9/12, 3 a.m.

 
 

Forgot to add: Bookmark it, libs!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Burnstein Notice.

Treyf Jobs.

Samson & Schmuck.

And of course Numbers is so Jewish already, we don’t even have to do anything.

 
 

Oh, and the part about students setting goals for their education and asking for help when they worry they won’t succeed? He is stealing the words right out of Karl Marx’s mouth.

Y’know, it suddenly occured to me why so many right wingers homeschool their kids.

They read Marx, who was a devoted adherent of public schooling, insisting that children need to be socialized in order to create a class of proletariat that would be sensitive to the needs of the community.

Hmmmmmmmmmm…wonder why that never popped up in my thinking before…

 
 

Speaking of future Sadlynauts, I think its time that we start agitating for a Future Snarkers of America program in our local schools. We could have patches and contests and trophies and all that.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

And of course Numbers is so Jewish already, we don’t even have to do anything.

Especially with that Cyrillic “zeh” in the middle. They think they’re fooling us with that, but we’re too smart for them! Damn Rooskie Commie Jooz!

 
 

The continuing story of a crime-fighting deli owner: Lox and Order

 
 

Speaking of future Sadlynauts, I think its time that we start agitating for a Future Snarkers of America program in our local schools. We could have patches and contests and trophies and all that.

Kingubu has a point: we have to have a mechanism in place to offset Ericksson’s Trike Force.

 
 

wonder why that never popped up in my thinking before…

Because it begins with the ridiculous premise that the Fundie homeschooler parents read Marx?

 
 

Because it begins with the ridiculous premise that the Fundie homeschooler parents read Marx?

I knew there was some flaw in my logic!

 
 

Because it begins with the ridiculous premise that the Fundie homeschooler parents read Marx?

Fixed all “Zig” for great justice.

 
 

shoulda closed all tag for great justice, too.

Been a long day.

 
 

C’mon guys, leave a little snark for us poor noobs. I can’t keep up with this thread!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

A couple more:

My Son, The Rich Successful Doctor (House, M.D.)

Myths? Bupkes! (MythBusters)

Oy, Such A Schlep I Had Today (24)

Farblondjet (Lost)

Battlestar Goylactica.

 
 

Bah. I don’t think my comment’s gonna show up. Here’s what I wrote:

FF: “It’s a pity some Leftard Jews aren’t looking at the big picture as well, or I doubt they would be supporting the Left and Obama, given his associations and background. The Stockholm Syndrome ain’t a pretty thing to watch, trust me on that.”

Is there such a thing as a plantation Jew?

I know what blog to visit now when I need to figure out what American Jews want without asking American Jews for their input. I mean, if they knew what’s best for them they wouldn’t vote Democratic. If this sounds condescending it’s completely coincidental to my larger point and that is I <3 Jews plz vote 4 mai party!!!!

 
 

we have to have a mechanism in place to offset Ericksson’s Trike Force.

If that one kid from Florida’s comments are any indication, America’s teens are already beating Erik Teh Red’s pockmarked ass.

No, no, I’m thinking of stuff like proud Heartlander parents hoisting oversized blue ribbons next to their offspring’s prize-winning life-sized Jonah Goldberg with a sandwich sticking out of his ass made entirely of butter.

 
 

Hawaii Five-OY!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I don’t know…Batman and Rubin?

Glatt Man and Rubin

Far from the Meshugah Crowd- a Semitic Pastorale.

 
 

Indiana Jews and the Temple Beth Israel

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I wonder if Mr Other McCain ever laments the fact that his parents’ country club had no Jewish members.

Que era era

 
 

The Gevalt of Horror

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

How about those wacky 70’s Jewish road comedies?

Schmaltzy and the Bandit

Con-OY!

 
 

Lesly, your comment did make it, as (to my surprise) did mine. Among other things, I pointed out that I’ll be more comfortable with the religious Right when it stops turning out kids who tell my young son he’s going to Hell.

 
 

Greene Acres

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Among other things, I pointed out that I’ll be more comfortable with the religious Right when it stops turning out kids who tell my young son he’s going to Hell.

It would also be nice if their “pro-Israel” stance wasn’t based on an eschatological fantasy that involves the immolation of anyone not of the “elect”.

I’d be wary of their concern, and I’m a goy-boy.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

How about that great 50’s tear-jerker, Old Yenta?

 
 

Game show idea: “What, You Want I Should Spin the Wheel Already?”

 
 

Game show? How about “Jeopardy, Schmepardy!”? No? I’m late to the thread.

 
 

Glatt Man and Rubin

Leave it to a Noo Yawkah (Joo Yawkah?) to improve that one.

 
 

Game Show:

The Price Is Too High! Can’t You Cut A Little Off For A Bubbeh?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Supermarket Wait, Wait, I’ve Got A Coupon On That!

Faygelah Eye For the Singlemon.

And we could of course define all of Fox News as kopdrayenish.

 
 

Don’t ever tell an expectant mother that her baby is like a bus in any way!

Obama threw his advisor under the baby!

 
 

Well, I said nominal date. Kids are kinda like buses. Some are early, some late.
You wait for ages then three come along at once.
Also.

 
 

Game Show:

The Price Is Too High! Can’t You Cut A Little Off For A Bubbeh?

Also known as,

What? You expect I should know retail?

 
 

My Favorite Mohel

 
 

A towering anti-war novel soon to be made into a major motion picture!

Kvetch-22

 
 

The remake of Cheers would be Two Cents Plain

 
 

If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland

 
 

Ok, here’s yje link was supposed to be tied to some way:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trail_of_Tears

 
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trail_of_Tears

The Native American is the Jew of American Conservatism.

 
 

Does Michael Medved win the Weenie Award for the second year running? The man is priceless.

 
 

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