Bite Into A York Petulence Party
Posted on September 5th, 2009 by Gavin M.
Above: Yorx and awa-a-ay
Byron “Professor Wronghair” York, The So-Called Examiner:
The Van Jones (non) feeding frenzy
- Obama’s Special Adviser for Green Jobs, Enterprise, and Innovation is associated with circa-2002 demands for an investigation of 9/11, and I have in my possession a list of major news outlets who are not covering the news that we are screaming about it.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Is this thing on?
OK, you’ve covered your asses.
DJ
Sep 4, 2009
These people are showing they agree with 9/11 truther nutbags.
Every single democrat is a 9/11 truther. Make then prove they aren’t.
“why won’t anybody listen to MEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?”
As I was trying to say, we need a new word for people like David Cameron who are definitely right-wing douchebags, are definitely wrong, and will undoubtedly fuck everything up forever when in power, but aren’t genuinely insane with paranoia and fury like your actual wingnuts. Unfortunately “cunts” is taken.
Typical Obamazi, turning off the comments in the last thread to prevent mumble, mumble foam. Also.
Van Jones story front paged on WaPo in 3…2..1….
What a very sensible prediction.
Well, now!
Unfortunately “cunts” is taken.
Pardon me, but that’s offensive. You really shouldn’t use that word to describe them. They lack the requisite depth and warmth.
(thanks to a certain Sadly No-ite whom I can’t remember, but I’ve been dying to use that every since I read it.)
Well, if Bush didn’t plan a 9/11, why didn’t he? It sure woulda brung the country together in a positive way, dadgummit usa also!
Even money that Howie Kurtz will point out this discrepancy in his column this week.
We like to call him “Yorkie” because of the long silky hair, the high-pitched yapping, and the constant need to pee through that incredibly tiny penis.
(thanks to a certain Sadly No-ite whom I can’t remember, but I’ve been dying to use that every since I read it.)
Possibly me– but credit *really* should go to Gore Vidal by way of Carrie Fisher.
Actually, scratch that– I think she was quoting William Styron.
Sniiiifffff! Ya smell that? Man, I love that New Thread smell.
Enjoy it while you can, before the trolls start showing up and shitting all over it…
Has Lou Dobbs gotten around to checking this guy’s green card yet or will that have to wait until Tuesday – after the holiday weekend?
If Bush had ordered 9/11, we’d have paid Halliburton $3 billion to train 19 hijackers; all but three would be failures, and those three would have killed two Malaysians.
Churchill was known to drain a glass or two and, after one particularly convivial evening, he chanced to encounter Miss Bessie Braddock, a Socialist member of the House of Commons, who, upon seeing his condition, said, “Winston, you’re drunk.” Mustering all his dignity, Churchill drew himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined, “Shove it up your ass, you ugly cunt.”
Churchill drew himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined, “Shove it up your ass, you ugly cunt.”
Where the Afghan embassy guards of the era attempted to quaff it, wot?
associated with circa-2002 demands for an investigation of 9/11
Um, wasn’t pretty much EVERYONE who wasn’t fellating Bush (eeeeeeewwww) at that point shouting for an investigation?
Ah, the long-lost days when people asking questions about The Official Story weren’t idjits ranting about Alex Jones and micro-thermite and Mossad agents disguised as janitors planting mini-nukes .
Leave me in the basement like some Cheetos™ gobbling Jonah, will ya?
I SHAN’T FORGET!11ONE!
~
Wait, GAVIN?!! I thought his arms fell off after his recent move? Apparently all is well, and nose-typing is not as difficult as I’d been led to believe.
(From a previous thread which is too large to add comments to without risk of it undergoing gravitational collapse and becoming a neutron star):
N__B said,
September 4, 2009 at 12:47
It’s just as well. I’m unbearable.
But not inscrutable.
Kewl – let’s get scrutin’!
Did eventually credit The National Lampoon there at Salon.
Oh, I almost forgot: Someone check James Brown’s grave, Byron’s done stole his hair!
The fact is, Democrats looking for the truth about 9/11 can only mean that they want the terrorists to win. (/garyruppert) (/2002)
Plainly Van Jones was some sort of nutbar for asking for an investigation in mid-2002 … after all, it’d only been a measly year or so since the event … & besides, he eventually got what he wanted anyway – & it was such a wonderful success too!
This would be funny if not for the fact that Abe Rosenthal has named York as one of the writers he finds “interesting”. What’s even less funny: the other writer he named was McMegan.
I think it’s safe to conclude from this that Rosenthal finds idiots “interesting”.
Oh, & speaking of 9/11 hijinx – LOLSUIT ahoy!
Can you imagine if a member of the Bush Administration had saught an inquiry into 9/11? Or cooperated with such an inquiry? Or made any use of the findings of such an inquiry?
Well, you can bet the media would have covered THAT!
Why does York have Betty Boop’s hair?
Oh, & speaking of 9/11 hijinx – LOLSUIT ahoy!
Oooh, the Ninth Circuit strikes again!
Nice to see them in action – I thought they’d been carpet-bombed after that decision about the Pledge of Allegiance.
I’m not clear here. Mr. Yorkshire Pudding is bubbling and gurgling because some Obama official supported an investigation that might inform the nation as to how 9/11(TM) transpired? To The Onion perhaps? “Area Man Accuses Stop Signs of Bias.”
Obama will not indoctranate my kids! He is like Hitler, and turning our nation to leftist socialism and hardcore communist marxism. We didn’t vote for him in te heartland!
Winston, you’re drunk.” Mustering all his dignity, Churchill drew himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined,
“And madame, you are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.”
That’s the one my feeble memory conjures up.
bettertrollsplz
Oh, & speaking of 9/11 hijinx – LOLSUIT ahoy!
Didn’t the Trool state that “the courts” should be part of his stripped-down version of government?
betterparodytrollsplz
Fecksed
Did I miss something? Was that supposed to be an editorial of some kind? I clicked (I know, I know) and didn’t see an article. I saw a blog comment, given its own post. No background, no citations. No explanation as to why someone who wanted an investigation into 9/11 in 2002 is now unqualified to advise the president on green technology. I mean, I know wingnuts are lazy, but isn’t he supposed to care about this “controversy” he’s “writing” about?
Fecksed
Parody or real, that one needed a bit of work. It was a Poe to me.
We didn’t vote for him in te heartland!
yes we did.
…I get the sensation of being on a tall mountain, surrounded by the hot fetid breath of a thousand Malkin harpies.
We didn’t vote for him in the heartland!
That’s why we call it the heart-land. Because the brain isn’t here.
Well done, El Cid.
I like the commenter who is shocked, shocked, that this Van Jones dude is in touch with both President Obama and Speaker Pelosi. A policy adviser to the President, speaking regularly to other national leaders? Suspicious.
“Churchill drew himself up to his full height …” guffaw. He was 5’8″ during the Boer War (see the wanted poster) and 5′ 6 1/2″ afterwards. If he drew himself up to his full height he could see Coultergeist’s beard.
Is “York Peppermint Patty” the new euphemism for lesbians with absurd hairstyles?
You know who else called for 9/11 investigations in 2002? HITLER!
Man, I love that New Thread smell.
It smells like…victory.
Kewl – let’s get scrutin’!
Nah…I prefer my salads without bread.
Is “York Peppermint Patty” the new euphemism for lesbians with absurd hairstyles?
I laughed.
I cried.
I golf clap.
A policy adviser to the President, speaking regularly to other national leaders? Suspicious.
Well, the Bush administration did it the American way, i.e. the RIGHT way – nobody talked to anyone!
You know who else called for 9/11 investigations in 2002? HITLER!
Does Pat Buchanan know about this?
I golf clap.
Take penicillin before that gets worse.
You know who else called for 9/11 investigations in 2002? HITLER!
However, Hitler failed to fill out, in time, the proper FEMA forms as acting mayor of New Orleans.
I golf clap.
Take penicillin before that gets worse.
Sounds like SOMEone took the wrong advice on clubs…
I got your Byron York hairstyle right here.
Sounds like SOMEone took the wrong advice on clubs…
But he led with three diamonds.
Why does York have Betty Boop’s hair?
I foresee future hi-jinks at the House of Substance.
Sounds like SOMEone took the wrong advice on clubs…
Hey, a 3-wood at that price? Who could resist?
Hey, a 3-wood at that price?
Veiled around-the-world reference.
Hmm. Me thinks golf clap may not mean what I think it means. Methinks sardonic, but appreciative, not sarcastic and demeaning. To clarify. Also.
Sounds like SOMEone took the wrong advice on clubs…
“I’m not only president of the York Hair Club for Men, I’m also a veiled-reference member.”
golf clap = sardonic, but appreciative OR sarcastic and demeaning
on the other hand, “GET IN THE HOLE” = peremptory and ignorant
Oh my sainted aunt, I did not need to be put in mind of York’s member.
golf clap = sardonic, but appreciative OR sarcastic and demeaning
“Inflammable means flammable? What a country!”
“Now watch this drive” = ????
I’m also a veiled-reference member.
(Sardonic and appreciative) *golf clap*
“Now watch this drive” = (what’s that thing that amoebae do?)
“Now watch this drive”= Dickout*
*actual golf term
Remember remember, that York has a member,
And hair like old cartoon Boop
There’s some reason heinous to use words like PENIS
And something and something and POOP.
NOTE: heinous only rhymes with penis if you’re Irish
(what’s that thing that amoebae do?)
Getting up your nose, inflamng the meninges, and turning your branes to mush?
When Irish ____ are _____
Sure ’tis like a ______ in ________!
Well, now you see what the problem is. The wing-nuts only get their news from the MSM, & then walk around saying “huh?” all day.
If I’d heard that a bunch of right-wing assholes were lying about someone again, I’d Google™, or check memeorandum. Or just probe Byron York’s ass w/ some lead tweezers to pull the “info” out.
Can we all agree that “Byron” is the sissiest name ever?
Getting up your nose, inflamng the meninges, and turning your branes to mush?
Why not? It’s a holiday weekend.
NOTE: heinous only rhymes with penis if you’re Irish
For some reason heinous that man is a genius
Happy now?
Can we all agree that “Byron” is the sissiest name ever?
No, but it;s right up there with “Lindsay” and “Scooter.”
Happy now?
Well, I would be if I were Irish.
More commenty goodness:
Brad Krantz
Sep 4, 2009
Hey, idiots, birthers, and other morons who “only watch Fox cause they’re the only ones telling the truth,” there was a full package on Mr. Jones Fri. night on the CBS Evening News. The story was done by Bill Plante. All the incendiary clips were shown. I don’t know if the other networks also did something on this on Friday, but as I write this Friday evening at 10pm, this story still is being linked to on Drudge. His usual way of operating will be to leave this up all weekend, thus continuing to falsely perpetuate the basic premise of York’s story.
FAIRTV
Sep 4, 2009
Bill Plante of CBS finally did a story tonight–two weeks after the controversy first arose. However, there was no mention of the “I’m a communist” statement. Can you believe a member of the Administration who says he is a communist, and not one in the MSM mentions this? Unbelievable.
edknowsall
Sep 4, 2009
I was fired by CBS after the Nov election…I was probably the last conservate at CBS. I was called a Nazi for not supporting Obama. You should not be the least bit surprised that they have not covered this story.
I’m not the least bit surprised.
It strikes me as slightly ironic
That Byron’s a name for a wimp.
Don’t say that to poets Byronic,
Especially the one with a limp.
Someone else you may not have known was Irish. And 77.
However, there was no mention of the “I’m a communist” statement. Can you believe a member of the Administration who says he is a communist, and not one in the MSM mentions this? Unbelievable.
I know, “not a member of the Administration”, but nobody tell him about this guy, mmmkay?
From the Other Ubu’s linky:
ZOMG JUST LIKE POL POT!!!one!!eleven!!four!!!!
Like the last of the Mohicans, but more illiterate.
OT – Good news for all those who are hungry for updates on George W. Bush’s exciting plans for an “action-oriented think tank”. Bush has chosen a director – James Glassman, the co-author of this prescient and widely admired 1999 book.
You know who else called for 9/11 investigations in 2002? HITLER!
ZOMG! VAN JONES IZ MARTIN BORMANN! TEH GHEY PAGAN POT-SMOKING LIBZ DID WTC*!11!!1!1!!
————————-
*Actually, Jerry Falwell (Blarts Be Upon Him) said just this in the fall of 2001 … proving that as absurdist irony becomes ubiquitous, parody gradually tends toward becoming an impossibility.
So the job is to say, “Look, we’re not going to agree on every issue, that’s for sure. But don’t vote against your own interest.” I don’t mind really if millionaires vote against me. They probably should. But for working people, we’ve got to come together, healthcare for all, stop our disastrous trade policies, make sure all of our kids through college get the education that they need
Which is pretty much the point I was trying to make the other day, about people voting against their best interest.
If Van Jones is like a damn communist, then they’s ain’t even words for what I is.
I am two separate communists!
He’s two…two…two commies in one!
Which brings us back to mints…
No, Martin Bormann, after his stint with the Sex Pistols, is still playing bass for punk bands in Brazil
http://www.codoh.com/newrevoices/nrrodbelsen.html
And the gay, pagan pot-smoking libs did YO MAMA.
I’m a communist and an anarchist, combined with a thin coating of milk chocolate and sprinkled with almonds!
Commu-mints?
Surrounded by a thin, thin 16 millimeter shell… and inside, it’s DELICIOUS!
But messeur, it’sa wafer thin!
Not to be missed: Mark Ames responds to emails from wingers upset with his unmasking of McMegan’s government-sponsored privileged upbringing.
His email to Amanda Carpenter? Priceless.
No no you’ve got the meme wrong, It goes like this:
Why sould anyone want to investigate the terrorist attacks on 9/11? Hitler, that’s who!
Non sequitur? I hardly knew her!
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Ooooh, I just read that, it’s great, & I wander by here & see that other responsible adults have linked it already.
Jennifer’s link, that is …
it doesn’t matter which muppet you vote for, they’re all just muppets.
as long as you spend all your free time jousting over wedge issues like healthcare and abortion and gay marriage, the bankers are free to pocket your future and your childrens’ futures and their childrens’ futures.
if pushing wedge issues were the only way you can make a dollar (like if you worked for CNN or Fox) then this is sad but understandable.
if you do it for free, then you are a fool, and everyone who follows you is a greater fool.
Oh, God.
I had a vision of that hair dancing with the helicopter eyebrows.
*shudder*
Doesn’t matter which muppet you vote for, they’re all just muppets.
By diverting attention towards wedge issues like gay marriage, abortion, public healthcare, etc. you are serving the interests of power.
If this were the only way you could make a buck, well I could forgive you for that. But if you are donating your time to it, then you’re as evil as Dick Cheney. And poor, too.
Hey, can one of you Americunts tell Brad his comment section ain’t working in his last post?
Thenk yew,
Well, they have Testamints, Zombie mints and Lenin lollipops, so what the hell.
Gummy lighthouses, anyone?
Actually, I can’t remember where they came from, but at one point I was exposed to a large supply of Testamints, and they were really quite good.
By diverting attention towards wedge issues like gay marriage, abortion, public healthcare, etc. you are serving the interests of power.
If this were the only way you could make a buck, well I could forgive you for that. But if you are donating your time to it, then you’re as evil as Dick Cheney. And poor, too.
Or, you know, maybe I’d like the same fucking civil rights that everyone else takes for granted. Sorry to be a wedge issue for y’all, I’ll just go eat puppies in the corner and try not to bother you while you ponder the truly important political problems.
I’m surprised that no one has mentioned that Van Jones has only become a target because he co-founded Color of Change, the group that is now leading the extremely successful advertiser boycott of Glenn Beck’s television programme…
He’s petulant. And he’s having a frenzy.
Hey, tensor, leave the fecking Malaysians out of it! Malaysia boleh! Or maybe it’s Malaysia tak boleh?
Oh, really, Substance McGravitas. Everyone knows Churchill would’ve said “arse.”
“Someone else you may not have known was Irish. And 77.”
MB, you win today’s wedding ring in the terlet trophy. XLNT. But how in the name of Cthulu did you even find that? Do you have control of a Gloria Estefan spider???
You know who else called for 9/11 investigations in 2002? HITLER!
And on a different note: if you have unprotected sex, YOU’RE FUCKING HITLER!
World AIDS Day video, NSFW
And on a different note: if you have unprotected sex, YOU’RE FUCKING HITLER!
Decent bod tho
It’s a random, meaningless Internet. I was looking for a picture of an entirely different birthday person.
Will not look at Hilter sex.
Oh, crap, that’ll just start more trouble.
Hey, tensor, leave the fecking Malaysians out of it!
I was originally going to write “Venezuelans”, but then I thought of Prez. Cheney’s bungling endorsement of the anti-Chavez putsch there, and I didn’t want to distract from the “wrong country? Wrong frickin’ hemisphere!” intent. Malaysia is even farther from New York, so I chose it instead. No offense intended against any actual Malaysians.
Seriously, my favorite riposte to “Bush was behind 9/11” crap is to ask if that gang could accomplish anything other than fellating their fellow worthless rich fuckers.
Oh… Petulance.
I thought you said flatulence.
’bout the same in this case, though.
He is unelected, unchecked and this administration is continuing to surround itself with people who think the opposite of what 75% of America thinks.
the giant 75% brain i know what it thinks because my magic underpants told me
Ah, now this explains a thing or two.
It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Forget the Jonah Goldberg theory. Umberto Eco makes a very good case for who teh real fashizzle are…and it turns out he’s actually part of the problem. Whoda thunkit?
http://bit.ly/GXntG
But they were pretty good at that, tensor.
~
Let’s just forget Jonah Goldberg completely.
Here’s Joshua!
~
Will not look at Hilter sex.
Rule 34 of the internet. If it exists, there’s porn of it.
Oh… Petulance.
I thought you said flatulence.
It is a portmanteau word invented by Labrador owners.
ittdgy,
Y’know, I never noticed it before, but those Corner web addresses are actually very apt. They start “corner.nationalreview.com/post“.
But they were pretty good at that, tensor.
It was indeed their
coresole competency.Back to sleep for me.
El Morro National Monument pics, anyone?
~
The Now More Visible Than Ever Part of Eco’s Point 13:
That ain’t fish.
Rule 34 doesn’t mean I have to look.
I’ve heard talk starting up putting forth the idea of a Cheney/Palin ticket for 2012. I already have a theme song picked out for them.
I think we need to rename the Wingnuts to more acurately describe what they are. I think we should call them the Paranoid Right.
Ok, now I have a comment box but all my comments get eaten.
It seems that I got past the velvet rope but not the bouncer.
Let’s just forget Jonah Goldberg completely.
Here’s Joshua!
Wait. I didn’t realize Joshua was actually the spawn of Lucianne. I love the fact he asserts that he has worked his whole life and then gives his title as Editor of Shoes or some such at his mother’s fat-rendering operation.
The Now More Visible Than Ever Part of Eco’s Point 13:
The whole list of points seems very applicable but this one seems telling given the freak out over the President of the United States giving a talk about education to school children.
Soon they are going to begin criticizing him for stepping on Air Force One as elitist and out of touch with der volk or something.
*now waits for update with exactly that complaint*
“Inflammable means flammable? What a country!”
I had a great-aunt who was an English professor (and by all accounts a formidable one) who would make pretty much this comment every time we passed a fuel truck with “inflammable” decals on it. As a eight-year-old I could only look on in wonder. And, she could kick the entire Webster clan’s ass in Scrabble.
And, you need to know this.
Actually, many of us are generously reimbursed by Dick Cheney’s and George Soros’s Dark Overlords Foundation. But speaking for myself, I’m not really in it for the money – my real motivations are a resolute commitment to the cause of evil and a servile need to debase myself on behalf of authority figures.
Won’t you join us?
By diverting attention towards wedge issues like
gay marriage, abortion, public healthcare, etc.basic equality & human rights, you are serving the interests ofpowerprogress.If this were the only way you could
make a buckuse a mirror, well I could forgive you for that. But if you are donating your time to it, then you’re as evil asDick CheneyBlack Sabbath & Iggy Pop PUT TOGETHER. Andpoorprobably having lots of hot sex, too.(I ? 2 edit)
Won’t you join us
Or at least loan us a ten-spot ’til payday, gov’n’r?
To quote the incredibly great jurist and pantload Clarence “Me Too” Thomas:
This is a high tech lynching.
Let’s credit Michael O’Donoghue for that Churchill thing. Golden.