That’s still a million fewer than he helped conceive…

Life: sacred until birth.

Actor212, you are everywhere.

Note to self: do not wear red lipstick, or get my hair cut like that; do learn to speak jive.

Should someone point out that, when Ronald Reagan died, he had a funeral in the National Cathedral overseen by a Bishop AND an Archbishop (must be one huge bishopric), but was the divorced spouse of Jane Wyman at that point and therefore, according to the Gospels, was an adulterer?

Where was the poutrage then?

Spur,

I’m a man of many talents. And deeply bored. 😉

Judie Brown: Our Hateful Library Lady of the Interwebs

Where was the poutrage then?

And further, where was the outrage of having servants of the Papist autocracy officiating over the sanctified burial of our Lord Jesus H. Reagan?

These are still the people who were outraged over the original Kennedy wanting to be President while Roman Catholic, after all. I certainly recall reading about the fucking Protestant heels, and know there’s still motherfuckers who won’t vote for a fucking Catholic.

Where was the poutrage then?

“poutrage”. That is excellent – perfectly apt.

And yes, Miz Brown, they’d be alive. Hungry, sick, often homeless, but alive. I don’t think “suffer the little children” means what you think it does. It’s the Lake Of Fire for you, lady.

Judge now, least you be…oh never mind!

OK, I probably need to go to another meeting as I clicked (but somehow knew it would only make me laugh and point, not want to rip the someone’s throat out). Backsliding? Maybe. I really didn’t inhale.

Judie, Judie, Judie!

“As the Reverend Thomas Euteneuer explained in his reflections on the Kennedy funeral prior to the event,

Father is right.”

Shorter Judie: “Father is right.”

“Paging Dr. Freud, code red, ward six! Stat!”

Ted Kennedy personally and single-handedly aborted tens of millions of babies who, but for him, would be alive today and able to pleasure Catholic priests.

phixt.

Clicked through. Pauley the Patriot in the cartoons is ripe for photoshoppery.

He will not be missed by the unborn [whom] [womb] he betrayed time and time again

Neutered!

[womb]

Per pastor swank, “womb babies.” As opposed to school babies, work babies, retirement-home babies, coffin babies, and baby babies.

Where did he find the time?

Cripes, everybody knows when you work for Satan you get superpowers (as seen in the great movie “Petey Wheatstraw, The Devil’s Son-In-Law”).

My parents loathed President Kennedy, for being wealthy and suave, but mostly for being Catholic. That was my father’s whole shtick: “the man is a Papist and is going to get his orders directly from the Vatican!” They was weird, was my parents.

“the man is a Papist and is going to get his orders directly from the Vatican!

That’s a papist smear.

the man is a Papist and is going to get his orders directly from the Vatican

As opposed, of course, to Dubya, who got his stuff directly from GAWD, no intermediaries needed.

Which was perfectly okay with all the people who whined about Kennedy, I’m sure.

Someone’s forgetting the poor bushbabies. And not the one who just got a job on teh TeeVee or whatever.

And the beanie babies, the achtung babies, the million-dollar babies, the rosemary babies, the red-diaper babies. Jeebus. Pastor Swank really doesn’t care about the babies, does he.

Also, pace Gary Larson, the Hey-Baby Hey-Babies.

That’s the part that perplexes me about these right-wing alliances. The real WASP folk wouldn’t piss on a Catholic if he was on fire in front of their mansions. They don’t give a shit about you any more than they give a shit about the blacks, the Jews, or anyone but their own whitebread selves.

Right-wing Catholics in America are the original self-loathing minority.

He will not be missed by the unborn [whom] he betrayed time and time again

Apparently modern medical science now enables you to abort a fetus more than once – why am I only finding this out now?

But if I abort a baby who would grow up only to have two abortions, am I not doing the Lord‘s work?

Kennedy’s victims were “members of the human family who happened to reside in their mothers’ wombs.”

Well, no, they didn’t just happen to reside there, the way one might happen to reside in Indianapolis.

THEY WERE FREAKING FETUSES

But if I abort a baby who would grow up only to have two abortions, am I not doing the Lord’s work?

Aborted babies are the Hitlers of prenatal fascism.

But if I abort a baby who would grow up only to have two abortions, am I not doing the Lord’s work?

If the ends justify the means, is it not your civic responsibility to shoot yourself rather than abort? At least then we can get on a steady bedrock of Catholic morality, since that’s for sure a mortal sin.

Well, no, they didn’t just happen to reside [in wombs], the way one might happen to reside in Indianapolis.

When Indiana gives birth, you’ll be sorry.

He will not be missed by the unborn

Reminds me of that old Country and Western standard, “How Can I Miss You If I Never Was Born”.

“the man is a Papist and is going to get his orders directly from the Vatican!”

Somehow, the image of Maxwell Smart banging his nose on a closing vault door leaps to mind here…

“the man is a Papist and is going to get his orders directly from the Vatican!

That’s a papist smear.

I’ll have the everything bagel with lox and a smear of papist, please.

This douche needs to get some. Being outraged constantly isn’t a way of life.

And if Ted was so evil, and the embodiment of GOD was sitting right next to him, wouldn’t the casket have been struck by lightning? I’m thinking that’s a big YEAH! Didn’t happen……… Something missing in your world-view, Dorothy? Maybe that wizard isn’t a wizard, after all?

Reminds me of that old Country and Western standard, “How Can I Miss You If I Never Was Born”.

Better than “Missing You Already (‘Cause I Pulled Out In Time)”

“And further, where was the outrage of having servants of the Papist autocracy officiating over the sanctified burial of our Lord Jesus H. Reagan?”

Sorry to be pedantic here, but the National Cathedral is Episcopal, not Roman Catholic. They have the wimmins as clergy, and all…

I wish Jeebus would call of of the all the holy rollers home to spend eternity singing his praises and realizing just how much their idea of heaven really sucks.

He will not be missed by the unborn [whom] he betrayed time and time again

Missing people is not really in the unborn’s purview.

Someone’s forgetting the poor bushbabies.

Any baby not delivered via caesarian?

Sorry to be pedantic here, but the National Cathedral is Episcopal, not Roman Catholic.

Feck.

Sorry to be pedantic here, but the National Cathedral is Episcopal, not Roman Catholic. They have the wimmins as clergy, and all…

Oh, don’t you even go there with the Anglican angle, missy! A bishopric is a bishopric! Ask any altar boy!

But, but, but… The Presiding Bishop is one of dem wimmins…!

The Presiding Bishop is one of dem wimmins…!

And Reagan is STILL an adulterer! Same Bible!

Someone’s forgetting the poor bushbabies.

Any baby not delivered via caesarian?

Ones whose mothers couldn’t afford Brazilians.

But if I abort a baby who would grow up only to have two abortions, am I not doing the Lord’s work?

Indeed. Let’s write a stochastic differential equation and determine the probability that each abortion is likely a net reduction of future abortions… Bwahahaha!

Nah, tigrismus, the bushbabies who are small nocturnal primates in Africa. Primates: the group that, although we are a part of it, has absolutely nothing to do with our excellent 6,000 year history here on God’s green earth. We was never related to lemurs, never never.

I mean, back in the olden days you’d abort a fetus once and that was it, over and done with, easy-peasy, Bob’s your uncle.

How does partial abortion work? Do you leave the head in there and it grows another body?

Is this anything like that farm joke where a cow is missing a leg, and that’s because it’s their favorite and they’re eating it slowly?

Are there Anglican angels, or is it always a typo?

No Bob is not your uncle! Bob will never be your uncle, never ever, on account of Grandma aborted him, O noes.

Are there Anglican angels

Baby Spice leaps to mind.

Yum.

We was never related to lemurs, never never.

Well, of course.

Lemurs come from Lemuria, which doesn’t exist, ipso facto, lemurs don’t exist either. And we’re not related to things that don’t exist.

Any baby not delivered via caesarian?

I prefer to get my babies delivered by Papa John’s or Pizza Hut. That “Pizza Pizza” horn drives me insane…

Actor, at one point Ronnie and The Winsome Shark (a friend’s nickname for Nancy) showed up for a service at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in NYC. They obviously had no earthly idea what to do when it came time for Communion, and, having received the host in her hands Nancy proceeded to drop it into the chalice when it was presented to her. Not making this up, you know… An old friend was the chalice bearer and he still howls when he tells the tale.

No Bob is not your uncle! Bob will never be your uncle, never ever,

Of course not. Bob is my father. Actually the people at his office used to call him Big Bob to distinguish him from the under-six-foot other Bob in the office whose surname was, on topic, Kennedy.

Nancy proceeded to drop it into the chalice when it was presented to her.

“Oh! It’s a Holy Alka Seltzer!”

Actually the people at his office used to call him Big Bob

Does he do Enzyte commercials these days?

Oh fuck, I’m manic again. I better go drink heavily at lunch.

spend eternity singing his praises and realizing just how much their idea of heaven really sucks.

Hehindeed. My vision of heaven has more to do with angels showing me how their wings add to … certain experiences.

I don’t know if Heaven exists, but if it does, it’s supposed to be a reward, innit?

Of course not. Bob is my father.

This can’t be true. Bob is my father and also my stepfather.

Correction: Lemuria no longer exists. It used to be a continent in the Indian Ocean, until it was lost forever in a cataclysmic prehistorical event that ceased having happened because secularists took over and made everything too science-y. So why are there lemurs? I hafta ask.

Does he do Enzyte commercials these days?

Nope. Sits, smokes, and reads every single fucking novel the Queensboro Public Library has to offer. And occasionally rails against the repubs.

Bob is my father and also my stepfather.

Your mother was trying to keep you from noticing the Darren-like substitution?

Wait a second. I just have to slap Substance McGravitas.

::slap::

Okay then. I must venture out of doors to do outdoorsy things. On topic: the Kennedys were famously outdoorsy.

having received the host in her hands Nancy proceeded to drop it into the chalice when it was presented to her. Not making this up, you know…

No, indeed.

Of course, Saint Ronnie had to follow his wife’s lead, and proceeded to chuck his Body of Christ into the wine also, which left soggy bits of Christ floating in His Sacred Blood and one disgusted priest.

I probaby would have dropped the chalice and stepped on it. Awkward.

Your mother was trying to keep you from noticing the Darren-like substitution?

She forced the second one to go bald too!

I managed to read half of Judie’s rant and had but one thought:

The Church Lady is REAL

Man, can you imagine trying to get the Eucharist out of a carpet? Blood and wine, two of the worst substances to get out of fabric, transubstantiated to be both.

I would not want to be the janitor of a church.

I prefer to get my babies delivered by Papa John’s or Pizza Hut.

If I wasn’t behind the Iron Curtain of Websense I’d link to a video on YouTube that’s kind of relevant to that comment.

The interested student may search YouTube for “santo gold blood circus”.

Well, then again, I’d recommend that search anyway. Crazy guy selling cheap gold jewelry through insane infomercials who also produced a sci-fi comedy wrestling movie. With angels. Who tell bad, bad jokes.

Blood and wine, two of the worst substances to get out of fabric, transubstantiated to be both.

It’s like vampire nectar.

Salt and cold water. Gets all the wine/blood stains out… Handy if you’re on the Altar Guild, or if you want to kill someone.

Man, can you imagine trying to get the Eucharist out of a carpet? Blood and wine, two of the worst substances to get out of fabric, transubstantiated to be both.

Maybe it’d make the carpet holy, too.

Or maybe it’d need to be exorcised.

Salt and cold water. Gets all the wine/blood stains out… Handy if you’re on the Altar Guild, or if you want to kill someone.

You pour salt and cold water on them and all the blood leaves their body?

This can’t be true. Bob is my father and also my stepfather.
The original Bob, or the anagram-name Bob?

The original Bob, or the anagram-name Bob?

Obb.

Judie Brown was the president of the extreme anti-abortion group “American Life League” before she retired or (more likely) was involuntarily committed. This is the same American Life League that went bug-fuck insane over Krispy Kreme’s “pro-abortion doughnuts”.

Here is the entire, completely unbelievable press release:

************************************************************
KRISPY KREME CELEBRATES OBAMA WITH PRO-ABORTION DOUGHNUTS
Washington, DC (15 January 2009)

The following is a statement from American Life League president Judie
Brown:

“The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme, you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama’s radical support for abortion on demand – including his sweeping promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act as soon as he steps in the Oval Office, Jan. 20.

“The doughnut giant released the following statement yesterday:

‘Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring
American’s sense of pride and freedom of choice on
Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice
to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing
so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are
making an oath to tasty goodies — just another reminder
of how oh-so-sweet “free” can be.’

“Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that ‘choice’ is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of ‘freedom of choice’ is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

“President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda.

“Celebrating his inauguration with ‘Freedom of Choice’ doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it’s disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

“A misconstrued concept of ‘choice’ has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this ‘freedom.’

“As of Thursday morning, communications director Brian Little could not be reached for comment. We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom – to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame.

“American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Judie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death.”

Well, Rusty, if you’ve been messy when you killed that person and left a bit of blood here and there that’s when the salt and cold water comes in. Unless, of course, you’re killing a slug. In that case you can dispense with the cold water entirely, except to take care of the puddle of slime that’s left…

Maybe it’d make the carpet holy, too.
You would think my Mom wouldn’t get so upset about me tracking some Jesus onto her new carpet.
You would be wrong.

But if I abort a baby who would grow up only to have two abortions, am I not doing the Lord’s work?

Judie Brown invents a time machine. Does she go back in time and abort Ted Kennedy? It must be quite a quandary.

committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death

Oh, sweet. Nice way to weasel out of objecting to capital punishment, guys.

So I guess they’re working on God to stop all miscarriages, as well? And ectopic pregnancies?

Now I’m hungry for not just for some delicious Jesus, but also for a piping-hot Krispy Kreme.

committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death

Oh, sweet. Nice way to weasel out of objecting to capital punishment, guys.

Being a godless whatever, I’m confused. I though the whole point of christianity was that no one is innocent because Adam and Eve, having eaten forbidden fruit, invented fucking and thereby tainted their descendants, womb babies and all.

On a separate note, “natural death”? So they’re not committed to the protection of people with pacemakers?

#

St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

September 1, 2009 at 17:59

That’s the part that perplexes me about these right-wing alliances. The real WASP folk wouldn’t piss on a Catholic if he was on fire in front of their mansions. They don’t give a shit about you any more than they give a shit about the blacks, the Jews, or anyone but their own whitebread selves.

Right-wing Catholics in America are the original self-loathing minority.

—

Along with, of course, Jews who associate with the likes of Jerry Falwell and others who think they are on the earth only to be annihilated during the rapture, and then spend all eternity in unbearable torment.

On a separate note, “natural death”? So they’re not committed to the protection of people with pacemakers?

Well, obviously the Bible doesn’t mention pacemakers, so people who taint JHVH’s creation with such sinful secular gadgets deserve whatever they get.

A ghoul from the senate called Ted
Liked to make little fetuses dead
So he took out his pen
Wrote a law up and then
Had a long career and died a very popular man.

speaking of a fellow pro-abort

christ in a sparkly pink plastic tumbler full of gin at a canasta game, through the smoke of a million menthol virginia slims

EnfantTerrible said,

That’s the same person? Huh. I guess it fits. Now, did she really believe this, or was she on the dole from Dunkin’? The truth is always the first casualty in the doughnut wars.

The truth is always the first casualty in the doughnut wars.

I always got my doughnuts from a local town store called “Mr. Bill’s”. Which, for my father and me, always involved an invocation of Mr. Hand and Sluggo.

Ah, Dunkin’ Donuts. Later, MacBeth’s Burgers.

Supersize supersize choice and fetus demise

Some texts linked on this site do warrant discussions that ensue, if solely for the sake of amusement of those commenting on them. However, when a text is so openly outrageous and it’s author is an indisputable idiot, discussion becomes little less then beating a dead horse. It is but common knowledge that Jesus-huggers in this country serve today and will, regrettably, continue to serve as a benchmark of human stupidity. What remains there to wonder about?

However, when a text is so openly outrageous

It is funnier?

“The Winsome Shark ”

Marion in Savannah–

Nice. I think it was Alexander Cockburn who once wrote that to behold Nancy Reagan watching her husband as he gives a speech “is to see a turtle being worshiped by a lizard.” Your friend might like that, too.

Well, some of us like beating dead horses. It keeps us amused.

Well, some of us like beating dead horses. It keeps us amused.

Next cycle I hope to lean far enough out to grab that damned ring.

I fucking hate dead horses. Give me the bat.

There is nothing outside the open outrageousness of the text.

On a separate note, “natural death”? So they’re not committed to the protection of people with pacemakers?

The official position is that it is wrong to introduce new pathology. If the patient is dying, palliative care instead of intervention is not sinful. There is no positive obligation to heroic (or even any) measures. However, if the patient is not dying, or is dying very slowly, the Church considers it sinful to do something else that will kill them (deliberate morphine overdose, for example).

“Innocent” is this particular person’s addition. The Church, officially at least, is not hypocritical on this issue. The death penalty is opposed as strenuously as abortion is. Many right-wingers, of course, ignore that bit, since being a cafeteria Catholic is only wrong if you’re a lefty. Apparently.

Speaking of cafeteria Catholics, by the way, the kicker in this article is this bit:

One can do whatever he likes, living it up, apparently like Kennedy, disregarding God and the Church, pushing mass homicide of the unborn, and then moments before death call in a priest in order to pass go, free.

Not only is that the official teaching of the Catholic Church (and, I think, of every Christian denomination), it reflects something Jesus actually said in the parable of the vineyard. And, just as Jesus predicted at the time, some of the “good” people who’ve been working since sunrise hate it.

There is nothing outside the open outrageousness of the text.

That must be a real quote, as it’s as unintelligible as any other quote of Derrida.

Wait, wasn’t Jeebus saying abortion might actually be justified in Mark 14:21?

Mr. Wonderful, thanks for the “turtle being worshiped by a lizard.” It would appear that eveyone latched onto a certain cold-bloodedness…!

The official position is that it is wrong to introduce new pathology. If the patient is dying, palliative care instead of intervention is not sinful. There is no positive obligation to heroic (or even any) measures. However, if the patient is not dying, or is dying very slowly, the Church considers it sinful to do something else that will kill them (deliberate morphine overdose, for example).

Interesting. Of course, someone with an irregular heartbeat is not actually dying, just at an increased risk of a fatal event. So installing a pacemaker seems to be okay. But it does likely increase the person’s lifespan (else, why do it?) so it extends their life past its natural end. I’m not actually arguing with RCC doctrine here (I do elsewhere, frequently) as with the concept that anyone who receives modern healthcare can be said to have a natural death. We all have our lives extended – by vaccination, for example – so attempting to apply centuries-old standards is inevitably idiotic.

“Innocent” is this particular person’s addition. The Church, officially at least, is not hypocritical on this issue. The death penalty is opposed as strenuously as abortion is. Many right-wingers, of course, ignore that bit, since being a cafeteria Catholic is only wrong if you’re a lefty. Apparently.

True, the RCC is not hypocritical on the death penalty. Except for the part where they equate unfertilized eggs, sperm, and fetuses to people capable of sustaining life on their own as independent entities.

What’s so weird is that prior to about 1980, abortion wasn’t even a national issue. Wasn’t it Falwell who realized he could build the moral majority by making a big deal out of abortion?

It’s some prime Chomsky manufacturing dissent stuff here.

What’s so weird is that prior to about 1980, abortion wasn’t even a national issue. Wasn’t it Falwell who realized he could build the moral majority by making a big deal out of abortion?

Prior to 1980, the Baptist convention was pro-choice. Combined with the Lurking Canadian’s observation about the death penalty, and we get back to why I can’t understand these religious moralists.

The entire travesty, from the television cameras to spectacle itself, goes beyond anything I have witnessed in my more than 65 years of life.

I can only assume that she did not spend one minute of those 65 years observing the funeral of Ronald Reagan.

True, the RCC is not hypocritical on the death penalty.

Maybe not, but I can’t recall any bishop or cardinal shrilly demanding that Catholics not vote for so-and-so because he or she supported the death penalty.

Or Nixon’s.

Ah, Dunkin’ Donuts. Later, MacBeth’s Burgers.

Counters of the finest Burnham Wood.

Interesting. Of course, someone with an irregular heartbeat is not actually dying, just at an increased risk of a fatal event. So installing a pacemaker seems to be okay. But it does likely increase the person’s lifespan (else, why do it?) so it extends their life past its natural end. I’m not actually arguing with RCC doctrine here (I do elsewhere, frequently) as with the concept that anyone who receives modern healthcare can be said to have a natural death. We all have our lives extended – by vaccination, for example – so attempting to apply centuries-old standards is inevitably idiotic.

No argument with anything you said, but I should clarify that intervention to save somebody is always allowed. It’s just that it is not required. Anybody who has an irregular heartbeat can get a pacemaker; but they haven’t committed suicide if they don’t want one. That sort of thing.

And yes, it is quite silly to talk about whether somebody who has already gone through chemo and surgery several times is suffering a “natural” death when they finally decide they’ve had enough. What they really mean is No Assisted Suicide, and that’s probably what the official teaching says if you read the long form. I haven’t.

Except for the part where they equate unfertilized eggs, sperm, and fetuses to people capable of sustaining life on their own as independent entities.

I don’t see that as a hypocritical position. Unscientific, crazy and misogynist, sure, but not hypocritical. Also, I think fertilized eggs are treated differently than unfertilized eggs or sperm. I mean, yes, spilling one’s seed on the dusty ground is frowned upon, but I don’t think (at least I’ve never heard) that it was considered morally equivalent to terminating a pregnancy.

Wasn’t it Falwell who realized he could build the moral majority by making a big deal out of abortion?

Francis Schaeffer.

Lurking Canadian –

Fair enough. There are enough undisputed grounds for me to dislike stated RCC positions that I don’t have to stretch for more.

Correction: Lemuria no longer exists.

This must mean we’re at war with East Asia.

Okay. It’s time for me to parade my ignorance of what is probably a well-known internet tradition. Who’s the dude in the tiger suit? (I’m an old enough fart that I’m tabula rasa about all sorts of things the kewl kidz know all about.)

Who’s the dude in the tiger suit?

Professor Zion St. Rosenkreuz, organizer of the Bilderberg meetings.

Who’s the dude in the tiger suit?

He’s Ntigger, only the “t” is silent.

What guy in a tiger suit?

The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that ‘choice’ is synonymous with abortion access…

“American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Judie Brown.

Jeebus in a tiger suit. choice == abortion access?

American Life League, AKA the panties-in-a bunch.

Also, the Catolic-as pretty much condemn the use of contraception full stop:

In 1997, the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Family stated:

“The Church has always taught the intrinsic evil of contraception, that is, of every marital act intentionally rendered unfruitful. This teaching is to be held as definitive and irreformable…”

Couldn’t find a linky quickly but I could swear Cardinal Ratzenberger equated condoms and abortion. Wotta guy!

Couldn’t find a linky quickly but I could swear Cardinal Ratzenberger equated condoms and abortion. Wotta guy!

OneMan,

It was at an African enKlavan

I can only assume that she did not spend one minute of those 65 years observing the funeral of Ronald Reagan.

Or Nixon’s.

The final cover-up ?

Ah, Dunkin’ Donuts. Later, MacBeth’s Burgers.

Isn’t that Hamlet’s Hamburgers? With Othello’s onion rings?

“Othello” was a misprint. In the First Folio, it was “Obama”. The Usurping Blackamoor’s henchmen are attempting to steal the original to cover up that fact as we speak.

The Usurping Blackamoor’s henchmen are attempting to steal the original to cover up that fact as we speak.

I demand to see the vault copy Folio!

Uncircumcised. Also.

Isn’t that Hamlet’s Hamburgers? With Othello’s onion rings?

Macbeth’s Brief Chandlery. Lady Macbeth’s laundry service. Or dog walking.

But if Ted Kennedy hadn’t pushed mass “homicide of the unborn,” some other Democratic senator would have, at least according to an argument I read somewhere recently.

Not only is that the official teaching of the Catholic Church (and, I think, of every Christian denomination), it reflects something Jesus actually said in the parable of the vineyard. And, just as Jesus predicted at the time, some of the “good” people who’ve been working since sunrise hate it.

Why should they hate it, though? Since good works count for nothing at all, all they have to do to “work” for it is convince Jesus they believe in him, then sit back and let the riches roll in.

…moments before death call in a priest in order to pass go, free.

That’s the kind of Monopoly I like to play! (What’s with the “free” bit? $200!!! right now!!!)

Yeah, the Catholic Church has always been pretty standard on the no contraception thing. Not that we fucking listen to them in the modern-day, but y’know, that’s lapsed folk for ya.

It’s the descendants of Luther who’re acting all hypocritical with being freaked out over putting French ticklers on the John Thomases and engaging in stimulating intercourse with whoever they may very well please. Guy offers them a free ride to do it, but do they accept?

That’s the kind of Monopoly I like to play! (What’s with the “free” bit? $200!!! right now!!!)

Besides, everyone knows deathbed conversion is the Free Parking house-rules of Christianity.

Why should they hate it, though? Since good works count for nothing at all, all they have to do to “work” for it is convince Jesus they believe in him, then sit back and let the riches roll in.

My best approximation is that they view salvation, like everything else, as zero sum. If somebody else is getting it, then it means they’re getting less of it. The point, I think, of that parable is that salvation is not zero sum, but rather infinite. It doesn’t matter how much grace you get, because it’s not like it’s going to run out when it’s my turn.

But that’s really hard for us hairless chimps to accept. For the people who don’t even believe we’re hairless chimps in the first place, it seems nigh impossible to accept.

I’m sorry to have started the thread in this direction. It makes me simultaneously sad and angry that somehow the message of Jesus (who said a lot about forgiveness and almost nothing about sexuality) is primarily represented in the world by people who piss all over the concept of forgiveness while endlessly obsessing about sexuality, theirs and other people’s. Sometimes it just bubbles out.

It makes me simultaneously sad and angry that somehow the message of Jesus (who said a lot about forgiveness and almost nothing about sexuality) is primarily represented in the world by people who piss all over the concept of forgiveness while endlessly obsessing about sexuality

I usually don’t bother defending my more…extremist…Christian brethren, but can you blame them?

They’ve hooked their entire eternal souls on the off-chance that an unmarried virgin male who hung around communing with twelve other guys and two fag-hags might get them into Heaven on a technicality.

They’re a little confused over the mixed message between Him and the Guy in the Old Testament with all the “Thou Shalt Not” shit.

somehow the message of Jesus (who said a lot about forgiveness and almost nothing about sexuality) is primarily represented in the world by people who piss all over the concept of forgiveness while endlessly obsessing about sexuality, theirs and other people’s.

By rights, these folks should be called Paulians instead of Christians, because they got that women-and-sex hatin’ thing from Paul, the misogynist bastage.

And most of what he said about sex had to do with forgiveness and NOT judging, that whole “first stone” thing. He also said way more against wealth and religious legalism, the very things the Jesus League of Slut Shamers have enshrined as their idols.

OOOOHH JUDIE~!!!!

Judie! Judie! Judie!

AAAAAAHHHHHHhh

Christ that’s Good!

oh Baby!

My best approximation is that they view salvation, like everything else, as zero sum. If somebody else is getting it, then it means they’re getting less of it.

I think it’s sour grapes. Yeah, Teddy was sexxxing it up and boozing it up and having a good time, so if he’s saved, Dame Judie’s been a goodie two-shoes for nothing.