Issac Hayes, a Scientologist, recently got into a fit about “South Park” not being respectful to religious views and threatened to quit. Earlier he said he was okay with the episode because “South Park” makes fun of everyone.

Yeah, he didn’t having a problem making his money off of it when the target of choice was Christianity or Catholocism…

While the “South Park” creators didn’t directly comment on Comedy Central’s decision to pull the episode, they issued an unusual statement to Daily Variety indicating the battle is not over.

The duo signed the statement “Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.”

And, as the master of sweet links, I present the entire banned ep for all of SN’s viewing pleasure…

Why aren’t we teaching kids how to use e-meters in the classroom? We shouldn’t hide the debate from them. We’ll test the kids for Thetans and let them decide for themselves.

btw, if the sound starts to lag behind the video, just click on the progress bar to reset it. Works for me anyway.

Why aren’t we teaching kids how to use e-meters in the classroom? We shouldn’t hide the debate from them. We’ll test the kids for Thetans and let them decide for themselves.

I agree, Billy. What’s the harm in teaching the controversy?

How I wish reporters would stop referring to Scientology as a “belief system,” when they should really be calling it what it is:

one of the biggest money-making schemes in the history of mankind.

I studied journalism in college, and had this one class called Specialized Journalism. We called if “Gonzo 101”; we studied “new journalists” like Mailer and HST and Capote and Wolfe and the like, and we were encouraged to seek out and write stories that fit into this mold. I did a lot of stuff about going on the road with bands, hanging out with junkies and transvestite crack whores, and tending bar at a frat party. Also did a story on taking a peyote trip that not only almost got my dumbass arrested, it almost got me kicked out of school.

Anyhow, friend of mine in the class did a story on Scientology (apparently, there’s a big bunch of ’em around Miami). The story was never published, mainly because the Scientologists he interviewed, after reading the story, spent six years trying to sue him. For a story that never saw print. Seriously.

I love the look on folks’ face when I tell ’em about how Scientologists think life on Earth came about. Volcanos and outer space convicts have the whole “this is my blood” stuff knocked dead cold, boy, when it comes to pure wackiness. People think I’m making it up, but what’s even better is the look on their face when they find out, nope, that’s how it is.

Most religions have got their rep by centuries of charitable work and spiritual exploration. Scientology’s “respected” because they’ll sue the shit out of you if you don’t respect ’em.

Why didn’t Paramount take Tom up on his offer? Right now he’s one of the most unpopular celebrities in this country. His appearances sure didn’t help “War of the Worlds”.

boy am I glad that all of the media consolidation hasn’t had any impact on programming, and what the public gets to see.

Timmah420,
Thanks for the link. The “Tom Cruise, please come out of the closet” bit caused me to blow some decent middie back through the pipe. For that, I am obliged.

Scientology is not a religion– it is a moneymaking scam. It was conceived as such from day one by a very evil and crooked man. The method in which Scienos are systematically brainwashed is pretty mind-blowing. It’s like reverse cognitive therapy– they validate all of your most delusional thoughts.

I live in Los Angeles, where this shit is EVERYWHERE. I’m a musician, and there’s a definite clique of L.A. Scientologist musicians, some of whom you have definitely heard of (**coughBeckcough**). Lots of people join the shit just for networking reasons. I know of at least a couple of musicians who considered “converting” to try to get the coveted Beck gig. His most recent band is like the all-Scientology all-stars.

If you’d like to laugh your ass off, go to Wikipedia and read the entry on “Xenu.” If that tickles your fancy, check out the anti-Scientology site xenu.net. I found the stuff about “Sea Org,” which is kind of like Scientology’s Navy (no shit) to be bizarrely hilarious.

Parker and Stone have done the world a great service, because the more the bizarro Scientology shit is put under the lights, the harder it will be for them to recruit and destroy peoples lives and bank accounts. The powers that run the Church of Scientology may be kooky, but they are also ruthless and evil.

I would think Tom Cruise would have been more upset at the very strong implication that he was gay.

Scientology is not a religion– it is a moneymaking scam. It was conceived as such from day one by a very evil and crooked man. The method in which Scienos are systematically brainwashed is pretty mind-blowing. It’s like reverse cognitive therapy– they validate all of your most delusional thoughts.

I live in Los Angeles, where this shit is EVERYWHERE. I’m a musician, and there’s a definite clique of L.A. Scientologist musicians, some of whom you have definitely heard of (**coughBeckcough**). Lots of people join the shit just for networking reasons. I know of at least a couple of musicians who considered “converting” to try to get the coveted Beck gig. His most recent band is like the all-Scientology all-stars.

If you’d like to laugh your ass off, go to Wikipedia and read the entry on “Xenu.” If that tickles your fancy, check out the anti-Scientology site xenu.net. I found the stuff about “Sea Org,” which is kind of like Scientology’s Navy (no shit) to be bizarrely hilarious.

Parker and Stone have done the world a great service, because the more the bizarro Scientology shit is put under the lights, the harder it will be for them to recruit and destroy peoples lives and bank accounts. The powers that run the Church of Scientology may be kooky, but they are also ruthless and evil.

Another good reason, along with foie gras and absinthe for moving to France where Scientology is banned. The only problem is that you can no longer smoke Gitanes or Gauloises.
BTW, I just love the way the Scientologists have their own human rights organization. However, I don’t remember either the English or American Bill of Rights giving you the right to be scammed out of your money, although I am quite certain the Republicans in the US would support it now.

Matt T. – Yeah that’s probably my favorite part of it too, aside from the summation of scientology’s story with the caption “THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE” in huge block letters during the entire thing.

Also what the hell does “blow some decent middie back through the pipe.” mean?

Blowback – Only if scientology agreed to only contribute to the GOP, and considering how many of the “evil/gay hollywood elites” there are in that cult, I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

Give those poor people a break.

Contrary to the opinions of our esteemed host, Scientology is in no way any stupider than any other religion. Not even close. Have you ever really thought about the story of Noah’s ark for instance?

I like scientology precisely for that reason. When some fundie christer starts in with trying to rule the nation according to the bible, you can always temper them with the example of President Tom Cruise who bans all behavioral medicines on his first day in office.

They are equally ridiculous. They are all moneymaking scams. What is a preacher? A guy who makes his living selling bullshit.

Not to say they aren’t worthy of scorn and ridicule. Just not more so that Jews or Muslims, or Wiccans. or Jedi Knights. All are based solely on works of fiction.

Except those religions don’t charge you a lot of money to practice them.

You can’t do much Scientology without forking over quite a bit of cash.

The only problem is that you can no longer smoke Gitanes or Gauloises.

Whuh? When the hell did this happen? I took up smoking again with the express purpose of going to Paris and chain smoking in twelve-chair cafés.

…And most Christians and virtually all Jews believe stuff like Noah’s Ark is allegorical (or fable-ized versions of real events- i.e. Dude named Noah builds a ship and saved his family + 2 of each kind of his farm animals or something to keep breeding stock during a flood of the region where he lived).

Timmah420,
You know, I had a whole explination thought out, but upon further reflection, I find it difficult, upon pondering your handle, I’d have to explain the situation. But, in the interest of science, it’s the stoner version of spewing wine/beer/what have you all over the computer screen.

I blame the thetans. And R. Kelly.

The real question will be, do Tom Cruise and the Scientologists have the clout to get the episode redacted from the inevitable season box-set DVD. If Paramount doesn’t include it, I certainly wouldn’t buy it. Even at a lesser price than the other sets.

Timmah420 – I was talking about the right to be scammed out of money not to be a Scientologist.

John E Thelin – sorry but you are too late to smoke French-made Gitanes Brunes, although it seems they are now made in Spain and Azerbaijan. Gitanes Blondes and Gauloises are for wimps and are beneath contempt.

I always say, judge a religion on whether its followers are decent people, not on what it actually believes.

Example: the Vikings believed that the first man was licked out of ice by a gigantic cow, and they were wicked awesome.

Tom Cruise, meanwhile, is a douche.

Advantage: Odin.

I live in Los Angeles, where this shit is EVERYWHERE

Yep. When I was 18, I was dumb enough to sign a mailing list (“Free copy of Dianetics!”) and for over two years, every Friday my mailbox was clogged with these thick envelopes full of Scientology BS. I’m proof that a sucker really is born every minute.

Sadly, add Chick Corea to the list of Scientology-practicing musicians.

Now, while I have no patience for Scientology, I have even less with those asshats Parker and Stone. I stopped watching SP years ago because I couldn’t stand how they’d slaughter all these sacred cows and then, in the usual Summing Up of The Moral of The Story done by Kyle or Stan at the very end, Parker and Stone would espouse the most intellectually vapid and reactionary point of view.

Their whole attitude when promoting Team America, which was roughly “People that care about anything at all are idiots” was just icing on the cake.

Trey Parker is hot though.

Beck was brought up as a Scientologist – what’s Chick Corea’s excuse?

Ron Hubbard wrote westerns under the nom de plume of “Winchester Remington Colt.” For what it’s worth.

I’ve really got to get in on some of this religion action. What a sweet deal. If I could get just twenty people to give me 10% of their income, I’d be pulling down twice as much as all of them. Not bad.

Who wants to sign up? There have to be at least twenty people here that need some everlasting redemption. You can only accept delivery after you’re dead, but it is soooo worth it.

Step right up! Step right up!

(Please make all checks payable to cash.)

Hey guys, wouldn’t you love to hear what MJ would have to say about this crap?

Henry Holland, I definitely know what you mean.

While I love most of their work (team america being a notable exception – I just didn’t find it that funny), I have a beef with TP&MS that’s more to do with their political beliefs.

Most of the time I’ll pretty much agree with all the ‘messages’ on their show. So I’m baffled as to the conclusions they come to. Specifically, if I (seemingly) share most of their views, and concluded to become a strident liberal, how could they have the same views and become conservative (well, libertarian, but close enough)?

It really mystifies me.

I live in Los Angeles, where this shit is EVERYWHERE. I’m a musician, and there’s a definite clique of L.A. Scientologist musicians, some of whom you have definitely heard of (**coughBeckcough**).

That makes me sad. Beck is so brilliant and innovative, it’s so strange to think that he’s part of a creepy brainwashing cult.

Ooop, that last one was yours truly.

I live right across the street from the Celebrity Center on Franklin Ave. in Hollywood. When TIME magazine printed its cover story expose on the Scientologists, I was at the local grocery store (catty corner to the Celebrity Center) right when they were putting the magazines on the stands. I went back to the store an hour later because I forgot something and the Scientlogists had bought every issue.

They are really annoying too. I’m glad they stay on their side of the street now. When I first lived here about 15 years ago they were ALWAYS harrassing pedestrians with questionnaires. I only had a vague idea about them when I first moved here, but it quickly turned to open hostility because of their arrogance and their continuous harrassment.

I’m with the people who say Scientology is the worst “belief system” ever.

Give Scientology a few hundred years and most of the believers will treat the xenu stuff as allegorical as well. After all, we are only in the first generation after the prophet (or is it profit?) for that one. Think about the early years of any religion. They took the shit seriously.

Plus lots of christians and jews and muslims still take all their nonsense totally literally as well.

As for a religion’s ability to make its purveyors money, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints takes 10% right off the top. The vatican makes their money somewhere and God doesn’t build all those churches, temples, and mosques all by himself. They are all money making scams. Check out Benny Hinn’s yacht. Hell, the catholics used to make you pay cash money so you wouldn’t go to hell.

Lastly, as I am not all that familiar with scientology on a personal level, I wouldn’t purport to actually know how literally most scientologists take it all. From what I understand of it, most scientologists have never even heard of xenu. I’m under the impression that learning the “truth” before you are at least OT-4 can cause serious damage or something.

How magnanimous of you to call it a religion!

Seattle Slough,

Scientology is way stupider than just about anything else. Frozen aliens on prehistoric Earth get almost-killed by H-Bombs?

Makes Noah look like a want ad.

I’m under the impression that learning the “truth” before you are at least OT-4 can cause serious damage or something.

Definitely don’t follow this link:

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/NOTs/

OT a bit, but I went to V for Vendetta, and was generally well-pleased with it. Plus, as a value-added element, it’s sure to piss-off every wingnut in town. Expect articles condemning it from all the usual suspects: Grogan, Swank, Schlussel, etc. Renew America and Focus on the Family are gonna go nuclear! This should be good for weeks of entertainment, especially if it does decent box office. Oh, and for all you boiz who were reluctant to see Brokeback, ‘cuz of all the male/male lip-locking, good news! There’s a few scenes of girl/girl smoochage here.

Why didn’t Paramount take Tom up on his offer? Right now he’s one of the most unpopular celebrities in this country. His appearances sure didn’t help “War of the Worlds”.

Did you see the movie? We rented the DVD. It was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. But it was–unintentionally, I’m sure–funny. The last half of the movie was basically Cruise carrying around a shrieking Dakota Fanning hither and yon–as though she were unable to walk herself. I guess that Cruise hadn’t heard of WC Field’s famous admonition not to play 2d fiddle to a child actor.

Scientology is not a religion– it is a moneymaking scam. It was conceived as such from day one by a very evil and crooked man. The method in which Scienos are systematically brainwashed is pretty mind-blowing. It’s like reverse cognitive therapy– they validate all of your most delusional thoughts.

This is true. Recognize, however, that its founder, L. Ron Hubbard, was a third tier science fiction writer from the 1940s, so the science-fictionesq aspects of the “religion” are not much of a surprise.

I agree that on its face, Christianity is just as ridiculous as Scientology. But Scientology was specifically created to make money. It was conceived as a scam from the very beginning. There’s a famous L. Ron Hubbard quote in which he says something to the effect, “Writing stories for a penny a word is for suckers. If a man really wanted to get rich, he would create his own religion.”

Now, I’m an atheist and I’m pretty cynical when it comes to Christianity, but comparing it to Scientology is not fair. Squeezing money out of suckers is the very pillar and foundation of Scientology; it permeates every aspect of the “faith.” Every word in every Hubbard tract is designed to separate a sucker from his money.

Someone above mentioned Benny Hinn. I used to really hate Benny Hinn, but then I saw a 20/20 expose on him, and I started thinking, you know what, this guy is getting over. The people who give him money are so fucking stupid, they don’t deserve to have their money. You don’t see Benny Hinn getting all political and trying to exert an influence on society. He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s just cashing the checks. He’s harmless. I feel better with dumbass Christians giving their money to him rather than Dobson or Falwell. Dobson and Falwell use the money to hire lawyers. Hinn uses it to buy Rolexes. A victimless crime.

if everyone went rasta this shit wouldn’t be happening.

don’t get me started on Rasta.

homophobic – homosexuality is unnatural, pray to Jah to make you straight.
a woman’s rightful place is to submit to man

Basically, Rastafarianism is Christian fundamentalism with pot.

That’s why I always think it’s funny when I see a hippie car with a rainbow triangle and rasta bumper stickers.

Dammit, guys lay off the slime molds. A lot of the current White House would be *lucky* to be reincarnated as a slime mold.
Anyway, I’m holding out for jellyfish, but would take slime mold in a heartbeat or lack thereof. No brain–no headaches.

OT, but hardy har har:

http://www.filmstripinternational.com

Turn down the sound if you’re at work.

Forgive him L. Ron. It’s the thetans talking.

I only read here, and never have posted, but… I guess I would like some of you brilliant people (and that is *not* sarcasm) to read more at http://www.xenu.net than the obviously ridiculous beliefs that $cientologists hold. Read what the org has done to families and familial relationships, and how devastating this has been for those of us with close relations who have been brainwashed by this cult.

Yes, they are easy to laugh at, and yes, the org is easy to look at and ridicule. But they are not a religion; they are a cult, and whereas I’m sure there are any number of intellectual arguments that can be made to say there is no difference between religions and cults, there is a very big difference between the end result. Family members who are more brainwashed than you can imagine, and the choice the rest of us make to either stay in contact, or fight and be labelled “supressive” and then all contact is ended. Permanently. It’s like choosing between levels of death.

Yes, the SP episode was very funny, and I laughed pretty hard. Other members of my family said they couldn’t watch it. Others completely ignored the whole thing, like they’ve been ignoring it since our relative was sucked into the cult 25 years ago.

I have no problem with satire, or humor to get through the slop of life, and this website with its gay sensibility is a daily read for me. I simply wanted to shine a light on the very real pain and devastation that $cientology wreaks.

dAVE,
I went to college with a kid that swore up and down he was full-on Rasta despite being a upper-middle-class white kid from suburban Orlando. Dingbat drove a Beemer and everything. Around the same time, I was dating a girl who’s parents had moved from Jamaica to suburban Miami just before she was born. She held pretty much the same opinion of Rasta as you do, but she said there had been a loosening up in recent years concerning homosexuals and women. In any event, she really didn’t appreciate my classmate’s automatic assumption that every Jamaican is Rasta – she was Catholic, and I assume still is – nor that his love of Bob Marley and admittedly killer weed made him her “brother in Jah”.

As an agnostic, I thought it funny as hell, frankly. Kid later decided he had some sort of shamanistic/native thing going, so I can only assume he got ahold of some really good mushrooms.

Years ago, an Old and Revered Science Fiction Author (I think it was Gordon van Gelder, but I can’t find the citation…could have been Isaac Asimov…) was approached by Scientology prostletyzers outside WorldCon (IIRC). He was heard to scoff, “Please. I knew Ron back when he was nothing but a two-bit con man.”

That to me is the difference between a “religion” and a “scam”: did the founder of this church believe any of the stuff he spouts? Hubbard, from everything I’ve read, did not. Ditto with Baker, Robertson, Tilton, etc.

hehe…trustafarians are hysterical.
no, dude, “exodus” is not about you moving out of your parents basement…

as for scientology, it is (of course) bat shit insane. but the thing that sets it apart is the fact that you MUST pay to get services. rather than taking the christianity angle (jesus says charity is good, so you should give us your money to make him happy) the scientologists won’t do squat if you can’t foot the bill. combine this with a cultish tendency to not let people leave once they’re in the club, and you have a religion that is more messed up than most.

Thanks for the story Matt T.

a.J. “trustafarians” that’s good!

My favorite for white kids with dreadlocks is “WASPafarians”

So I’m baffled as to the conclusions they come to

The final straw for me was the spoof of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Despite having a major crush on Ted Allen, I’d be the first to admit it’s a show ripe for parody. So they ran with it. Then in the last 1/3 of the show, it turned nasty–gays are evil lizard aliens wanting to take over teh heteros precious bodily fluids (shades of Dr. Strangelove).

Um, dudes, sure, some of us ‘mo’s like hitting on straight guys but most of us don’t because we can get laid easier with other shirtlifters. By the end of the show, Kyle/Stan basically said “Being gay is, like, totally ghey”. I haven’t watched a second of their crap since.

a.J. “trustafarians” that’s good!

Ah, the plague of the Phish lot scene. It was always funny to see these early 20-somethings with dreads that looked like they were harboring life, dressed in ratty jeans and baggy shirts, talking like “Wussup, holmz! I’m so *down* wit that heady puff I had last night!”. After talking with them for 2 minutes, you find out that they went to Groton > Yale and live on Central Park West. Pulp wrote a song about it called Common People that nails that thing cold.

I’m really sorry about your family member, Rebecca. That sucks. I’ve had friends sucked into Scientology, and they’re basically ex-friends at this point.

This shit ruins lives, and the Scientology scam has killed people, as well. People have died while going through Scientology processes to get rid of their “body Thetans”.

I hate religion as a whole – nothing like taking advantage of humanity’s normal fears and weaknesses to manipulate people and control them – but Scientology is a special kind of evil.

Not only did L. Ron create his little cult as a money-making scheme, but the story has it (as heard from “those in the know” at early cons in the 80s) that he did it on a bet. Supposedly he and some other well-known SF authors (Asimov? Bradbury? can’t remember, but of that caliber) were at some sort of gathering or were together or whatever, and got to discussing the gullibility of the masses vis-a-vis religion. The outcome was that L. Ron bet he could create a religion that would amass followers and they would give him their money. And le viola! Now we have lawsuit happy celebrity crackpots and brainwashed masses who give up their worldly possessions and life savings.

I believe it was Asmiov and Heinlen that L. Ron did that bet with. Ding! L. Ron wins, the rest of us lose.

I hear that’s how the 700 club was started…

I hear that’s how the 700 club was started…

a.J. “trustafarians” that’s good!

My favorite for white kids with dreadlocks is “WASPafarians”

I’ve always liked rasta-aryans…

Latest story suggests that Isaac Hayes is too busy recovering from the stroke he had last January to quit his job at South Park. In other words: Cook was pushed!

By the way (girding self for imminent shitstorm) there are some basic teachings in Scientology that are useful — I’m not talking about the sci-fi OT7 Xenu thetan bullpuckey, I’m talking about ideas like your frame of mind impacts your experience of life, that past negative experiences get stuck in your head and continue to play against you without your awareness, etc. Nothing that you couldn’t get in a decade of sitting under the bodhi tree, but maybe Scientology packages it in a way that makes it useful for our monkeybrains to grasp. After all, L Ron Hoover’s adherents must be getting something out of their association besides the networking, no?

All that said, Scientology is a cult, not a religion. For those interested in the difference, one definition.

chimera, it was Arthur C. Clarke. Him and L.Ron were roommates at college.

Cult, religion. Po-TAY-to, Po-TAH-to.

Scientology and Dianetics are a system using hypnotism to entice
the general public and keep it’s fearful members in place. Those who are
in are terrified if they betray their comrades, Hubbard and THE TECH,
they will be poor and down and out in the real word, and may turn into any animal or insect ; perhaps even an ugly THETA FORM. Such
a pity. This is criminal. Who should be accountable? Mascavage and only Mis-carriage and Her henchmen.