Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

I think Chris Wallace is trying to rend the universe asunder with that mind-bogglingly stupid statement. I can feel my very neurons resisting with confused and infuriated rage.

Chris Wallace swoops in to make Doughbob look erudite by comparison.

Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

Excuse me?

I wish there was an emoticon to describe that weird cartoon moment when the confused character’s head shakes violently back and forth accompanied by the sound of “huwapapawapapawapapa”…

Chris Wallace knows of which he speaks, being in an irreversible coma already (albeit an uncharacteristically noisy one.)

OneMadClown said,

Chris Wallace swoops in to make Doughbob look erudite by comparison.

AHA!

So THAT’S how come Goldberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg still has credibility among neaderthals!

He actually said “central to my point”? After all the laughs that phrase has engendered thus far? It’s kind of like how I always say to my wife “that may be a good idea” even though she cannot stand the phrase and how she says to me “yeah sure” even though, due to my wife’s rather flat affect, I have no idea whether she means “yippie hurray!” or “whatever you say smart-ass”.

Anyway, did Jonah Goldberg just admit that Obama’s use of Bush & CO materials is key evidence for Obama’s death panels? That is, did Jonah Goldberg pretty much say that death panels are something Bush would do such that Obama using Bush & CO materials indicates that Obama would have these panels as well?

I bet Mike Wallace regrets not pulling out sooner.

Usually Fox News viewers don’t even contemplate life; they’re in an irreversible coma.

Paid secretly by Lucianne herslef, his lucre wired directly to discreet Cayman Island bank accounts. He is Chris Wallace…Jonah Goldberg’s own anthropomorphic “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt.

Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

EPIC FAIL

Oh, Chris. Let’s be charitable and assume you meant that people don’t think about end-of-life care because when it’s clear they need to start, they’re in a coma. In that case, I think we can all agree that the situation would be easier if earlier the person had had a discussion with his family about his wishes. You know, drawn up some plans. I know, there are a lot of ins-and-outs, lots of scenarios to consider. Legal parts, tax parts, medical parts… it’s all pretty confusing.

You can see how someone might WANT A BOOK TO GIVE THEM ADVICE BEFOREHAND.

Chris Wallace swoops in to make Doughbob look erudite by comparison.

His daddy must be soooo proud.

What you all fail to understand is that we’re talking about a book. There’s a lot of power in them books-y stuff with teh words-alot and diagrammaticals. Obviously the fear is that this book, which was totally useful and beneficial and doubleplusgood during the Bush Administration, is now imbued with Obama-Anti-Christ VOODOO Magic because he’s black and will eat people.

It’s pretty obvious that some folks get quite some time to figure out issues of mortality.

Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

Could stupid be used as an alternative energy source?

Mike Wallace never should have let his wife smoke phermaldyhide during pregnancy.

Prediction: If wingnuts end up writing the history books decades from now, they’ll find a way to blame Obama for the Iraq War. And 9/11. Hell, probably Vietnam while they’re at it.

Could stupid be used as an alternative energy source?

You say “walk over there Chris” and he’s on the treadmill until he dies.

Roger Ailes says “walk over there Chris” and he’s on the treadmill until he dies.

Prediction: If wingnuts end up writing the history books decades from now, they’ll find a way to blame Obama for the Iraq War. And 9/11. Hell, probably Vietnam while they’re at it.

Well, his Dreams From My Father ghostwriter did personally cause us to lose in Vietnam by opposing the war.

This is a good example of the Fifth Law of Stupidity:

A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.

Complete Basic Laws of Stupidity can be found here:

http://wwwcsif.cs.ucdavis.edu/~leeey/stupidity/basic.htm

If I was Mike Wallace, I’m not sure I’d be able to resist the urge to beat that boy to death with a 1979 Ford Granada.

If I was Mike Wallace, I’m not sure I’d be able to resist the urge to beat that boy to death with a 1979 Ford Granada.

I’d use a steamroller, just to make sure he learned the lesson

Hell, probably Vietnam while they’re at it.

I find it amazing a one-year-old could direct an operation as complex as the Bay of Pigs – from Kenya, no less – but there it is.

I wanna know why Obama shot down the U-2 spy plane. Was it just for the sake of evil? Or was it for the sake of EEEEEVIL?

Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

What’s the big deal? If Terri Schiavo could blog, I don’t see why someone in an irreversible coma couldn’t contemplate end of life.

Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

I think this statement is evidence that Chris Wallace is in an irreversible coma, as we (he) speak.

“Maybe they inherited it from the Bush Administration”?? Do tell. I hear there’s tiny possibility that Bush maybe kinda had a small, insignificant role in the two wars and economic mess that we have right now.

…they’ll find a way to blame Obama for the Iraq War. And 9/11. Hell, probably Vietnam while they’re at it.

Especially, Vietnam.

When everything else seems to fail to provide an answer to wingnut derangement, just remember that they are really, really, really pissed about having lost the 60s.

So goodbye, so long, the road calls me, dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then I’ll be gone

I think this statement is evidence that Chris Wallace is in an irreversible coma, as we (he) speak..

In Chris’ defense, I’d have to say that most decisions made by the MSM, particularly on what to cover and how stridently to cover it, are made as though the person making them had been in a coma at the time.

He’s just going with what he knows, right?

ust remember that they are really, really, really pissed about having lost the 60s.

I suppose we could terraform Madagascar into 1950’s Leave It To Beaver America and ship them all over there in their sleep. Have animatronic Robert Young tell ’em it was all a bad dream…

And can I just note that “death panels” are starting to look like a really, really good idea.

I wish there was an emoticon to describe that weird cartoon moment when the confused character’s head shakes violently back and forth accompanied by the sound of “huwapapawapapawapapa”…

it’s called a doubletake. Or in this case, a octupletake followed by an atomic explosion and mushroom cloud coming out of a flip-top head.

Via J—

In short, Hillary Clinton, the indicted co-conspirator of this book’s original subtitle (“The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning”), was defeated by Barack Obama precisely because he was better able than any of his opponents to personify many of the themes discussed in this book.

That’s right leftists! You wanted Barack Obama because he is more of a Nazi than Hillary.

by the sound of “huwapapawapapawapapa”…

Hm.

I would characterize that sound as more of a “woggitawoggitawoggita”.

Mike Wallis is busy googling the legality of $3n$th trimester abortions, where n is Chris’ age.

“When everything else seems to fail to provide an answer to wingnut derangement, just remember that they are really, really, really pissed about having lost the 60s.”

I heard that Obama has the Hendrix box set. Just saying.

it’s called a doubletake.

Yeah, but what about the emoticon? I’m gonna suggest the following sequence:

o_o – 0_0 – o_o – o_O – O_O – o_o – O_o – 0_0 – X_X

In short, Hillary Clinton, the indicted co-conspirator of this book’s original subtitle (“The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning”), was defeated by Barack Obama precisely because he was better able than any of his opponents to personify many of the themes discussed in this book.

He got the majority in a center-right nation to vote for him by being more blatantly left? When is he moving the White House to a hollowed out volcano?

o_o – 0_0 – o_o – o_O – O_O – o_o – O_o – 0_0 – X_X = -o_o – O_O – o_O – O_o – X_X

At least simplify your algebra before you post it.

“Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma…”

Well, if anyone would know, it would Chris (“He’s in what we Doctors call a “walking coma”) Wallace.

IT APPEARS THAT YOUR PRECIOUS OBAMA WASN’T CIRCUMCISED AT THE KENYAN HOSPITAL FOR INDONESIAN MUSLAMICS THAT HE WAS BORN IN!!! IN ADDITION TO HIS LONG FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE, WE DEMAND TO SEE THE VAULT COPY OF HIS PENIS!!!!

As a center-right country, we elected that socialist Sharia Law terrorist-loving Stalinist-Maoist-Trotskyist to the Presidency precisely so we could keep an eye on him. Real Americans know that nobody in elected office can affect positive change outside government at this moment in time on another scale and actually make a difference, such as, such as, in what respect, Charlie? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and your frenemies so close that their hand upon your chest is your hand, that when you fall asleep it is their eyes you close.

Life is too short to compromise time and resources… it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: “Sit down and shut up”, but that’s the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out.

Well, usually in Indonesia they don’t circumcise boys until they’re like 10 to 12 years old, presumably so the boys can properly appreciate the awfulness of having part of your wang cut off. It hurts, you know. When I got mine done I couldn’t walk for a year.

Now I’m thinking Mr. Wallace read that comment off a teleprompter. So. Which one of you dudes at S,N writes for FOX news?

Well it’s funny you should ask that, but I’ve just been reading a great big Obama Death book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or, you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.

And can I just note that “death panels” are starting to look like a really, really good idea.

How about we just compromise and set up “smack conservatives upside the head with a sock full of oranges” panels?

I Fought the LOL and the LOL, wut?

How about we just compromise and set up “smack conservatives upside the head with a sock full of oranges” panels?

Only if one of the Wayans does it. ‘Cause he don’t play that.

How about we just compromise and set up “smack conservatives upside the head with a sock full of oranges” panels?

I don’t want to carry that around with me. How about we use their dildos? (You can tell a conservative because theirs take “D” cells.)

Cripes.

You think FAUX News’d have shoved Chris’ idiot comment (if not the man himself) down the Memory Hole, but nerp, it’s still there on the transcript.

I just skimmed it – I assume Mr. Faith-Based had more evidence of something wrong with the DEATH BOOK than a set of questions.

Oh, who am I kidding? Why, of course the mere inquiry about being in a wheelchair means they’ll kill you if you need one rather than spend the money. *snerk*

I wonder whether Chris Wallace‘s smirk has discussions with other smirks, like Bill Kristol‘s smirk or George W. Bush‘s smirk, about what to do in the event the overall quality of smirk ever deteriorates to the point it doesn’t irritate non-comatose humans that much any more.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! YOU GUYS! HOLY CRAP!

It’s true! The VA or some part of the government even has a place where they are disposing of the bodies!

A point is a one dimensional object. It, by definition, does not have a fucking center. There has never been the center to any point in the entire history of points because that’s not what a fucking point is.

I don’t even want to think about what being “central to” a point would consist of. That’s not even English.

I don’t want to carry that around with me. How about we use their dildos? (You can tell a conservative because theirs take “D” cells.)

Ew. I’d rather carry the oranges.

It’s true! The VA or some part of the government even has a place where they are disposing of the bodies!

And they even have something there about an “Unknown” soldier!

WHAT ARE THEY HIDING!!!

The Golden rule of Stupid:

A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or to a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses.

This totally sums up the teabagging/douchebagging movementarians.

Angry Geometer may wish to seek Generous Etymologist who’s willing to share dictionary and explore the wonder of entries with multiple definitions.

Angry Geometer may wish to seek Generous Etymologist who’s willing to share dictionary and explore the wonder of entries with multiple definitions.

Get real! How can you explore the “be amazed at”?

Angry Geometer

I am SOOO naming my band…

Get real! How can you explore the “be amazed at”?

This was central to his point.

I am not an Etymologist. I cannot explain these things. I have been told Etymologists can, although all are not generous.

I have been told Etymologists can

Mmmm…canned food.

Now I’m thinking Mr. Wallace read that comment off a teleprompter. So. Which one of you dudes at S,N writes for FOX news?

I’m Ron Burgundy?

Angry Geometer may wish to seek Generous Etymologist who’s willing to share dictionary and explore the wonder of entries with multiple definitions.

And maybe recount how many dimensions geometrical points have.

Angry Geometer may wish to seek Generous Etymologist who’s willing to share dictionary and explore the wonder of entries with multiple definitions.

Entries with multiple definitions are central to his point.

I am not an Etymologist. I cannot explain these things. I have been told Etymologists can, although all are not generous

Those would be shrubbers.

And maybe recount how many dimensions geometrical points have.

Zero doesn’t exist, asshole. I’m old school.

Angry Geometer may wish to seek Generous Etymologist

I prefer Lusty Lepidopterists, if the truth be told.

Zero doesn’t exist, asshole. I’m old school.

If you’re pre-Euclidean, that is old school.

I don’t want to carry that around with me. How about we use their dildos?

Only if they are sufficiently humorless.

Zero doesn’t exist

So one really IS the loneliest number!

Angry Geometer
I prefer Lusty Lepidopterists, if the truth be told.

You stay away from my sister!

One, two, three strikes. You’re out, LoadPants!

Won’t be arsed: Just imagine the links at “one,” “two” & “three.” I’m on a deadline.

Speaking of which, the only “deadline” that Sad Sack could possibly have is for his steaming 800-word weekly coil. While it’s obvious Jonah “responds well to pressure” (procrastinates until he just can’t put it off any longer) can’t he even spew 800 unresearched wds. over the wknd. & then email it to his syndicate & Townhall (where it will be posted under K-Lo’s name as well, or vice versa) in time for early Tuesday posting? That most be the most exercised dog in D. C., though it’s funny JoBob doesn’t seem to have benefited from the walking. Maybe he just lets the poor dog off the leash, to run wild sniffing crotches while he sits on a bench & imagines — Oh, I don’t want to imagine.

One, two, three strikes. You’re out, LoadPants!

Won’t be arsed: Just imagine the links at “one,” “two” & “three.” I’m on a deadline.

That is the greatest JG takedown I’ve ever read today.

LoadedHosen was referring to the point at the top of his head.

I found a point with a center.

My God, Goldberg is even more insufferable in live action than in writing. When he speaks, there’s a snotty, whiny tone, wafting through the holes of his straw men, that doesn’t come across on the printed page.

When everything else seems to fail to provide an answer to wingnut derangement, just remember that they are really, really, really pissed about having lost the 60s.

Hey, the reason I was for Obama in the first place was that his candidacy wouldn’t be a referendum on the Vietnam Era. Obviously, I was mistaken.

I prefer Lusty Lepidopterists, if the truth be told.

Hey, baby, let me show you my mosaic gynandromorphs.

I wish they’d hired Michael Bay to do the live action Goldberg. It would still be stupid, but there would at least be some explosions.

When he speaks, there’s a snotty, whiny tone, wafting through the holes of his straw men, that doesn’t come across on the printed page.

I count myself lucky because I have never seen or heard one of Doughbob’s TV appearances.

I respectfully disagree, though, about the snotty, whiny tone not coming across on the printed page.

I wish they’d hired Michael Bay to do the live action Goldberg. It would still be stupid, but there would at least be some explosions.

I imagine there are plenty of explosions in live action Goldberg.

I hear JB on NPR once in a while. He is loathesome – always playing the smart ass jerk getting in the last word. Neil Conan letting that slimey twit on the air is one of the reasons I don’t contribute to NPR anymore.

I imagine there are plenty of explosions in live action Goldberg.

Usually SBDs – the only way you tell is when he leans over in his chair and smiles.

I prefer Lusty Lepidopterists, if the truth be told.

Dammit, I guess I should have known my early successes as a nympho-ephemeropterist wouldn’t last.

a nympho-ephemeropterist

That;s someone who fits mythical creatures with eyeglasses, promiscuously.

I’m no retrad.

Extra bonus points to Fox’s Chris Wallace for this:

The best part is the other wingnut chiming in with something along the lines of “Great point!”

WTF. Let me get this straight. The Bush Administration wrote a pamphlet suggesting that veterans should kill themselves; it’s been discontinued for some time; and Obama wants to kill veterans?

It’s okay, Jonah, no one wants you to end your life because of your incapacity. Just in comedy value alone, you’re contributing more than most.

Chris Wallace is suffering from an irreversible combover.

Wait, I’m reading the Chris Wallace transcript. This is beyond crazy. They are complaining that veterans are asked to say what gives their life value now so that they can define what circumstances their lives would not be worth living in. Jeezus, we all do that in our daily life: who hasn’t said “I wouldn’t want to live in a wheelchair” or “if I have an accident and they have me on a machine, switch it off”? So the pamphlet just says think it through now. Maybe it’s thinking they have the problem with?

You might give the wrong answer and a socialist would scoop out your heart with a large melon-baller and THEN WHERE WOULD YOU BE?

How DARE you talk to me as if I might die!!
How DARE you suggest I will NOT be whisked to Heaven on the wings of angels!
How DARE you thwart God’s will, nobody ever gets sick unless God is punishing them.
How DARE you even suggest that pain and suffering shouldn’t be prolonged as long as possible?

“Why is it on your website?”
“The law says it has to be.”
“Why don’t you take it down?”
“That would be against the law, Chris.”

A US government official who obeys the law? No wonder he was confused.

How DARE you suggest I will NOT be whisked to Heaven on the wings of angels!

To spend eternity watching you face the post-Rapture tribulations and then suffer an eternity in hell, you godless librul!

Jeezus, we all do that in our daily life: who hasn’t said “I wouldn’t want to live in a wheelchair” or “if I have an accident and they have me on a machine, switch it off”?

I can only speak for myself, but I find I only pose these questions to myself when I’m in my irreversible coma.

To spend eternity watching you face the post-Rapture tribulations and then suffer an eternity in hell, you godless librul!

I like your ideas. Do you have a newsletter?

What do we want? Pain and Suffering!
How long do we want it? For as long as humanly possible!
Who’s is going to pay for it? Not Me!

I can only speak for myself, but I find I only pose these questions to myself when I’m in my irreversible coma.

Izzat like a Snuggie?

Dr Zen said,

You can see Chris get a mm from the point of understanding end-of-life planning, then fall short. It’s amazing to see someone demonstrate themselves to be that incapable of reasoning on television. Well, it’s not amazing any more, I guess. It’s become pretty normal.

When I become Emperor of Space, I’m going to replace CNN programming with 24 hours of news anchors adding fractions and working through syllogisms at a chalk board. It’ll be hilarious.

When I become Emperor of Space

I would like a puppy when that happens. Thank you.

I would like a puppy when that happens. Thank you.
Why should my hard-earned galactic Space dollars pay for your puppy?
We still live under a cosmic Constitution, you know.

I would like a puppy when that happens.

But what will you eat in the meantime?

Izzat like a Snuggie?

More like a detachable penis, except you can only wear it one way. It’s not reversible, you see.

What do we want? Pain and Suffering!

Who do we want it for? You!

Who do we want it for? You!

Kinda goes without saying, duh…

DARE is having to do bake sales to get funding.

🙂

I’m going to replace CNN programming with 24 hours of news anchors adding fractions and working through syllogisms at a chalk board

Bring back Lynne Russell and I’ll watch.

Soldiers have been writing their wills before going into battle since Hector was a pup. How is this any different? After Washington accepted the commission from the Continental Congress, he updated his will.

DARE is having to do bake sales to get funding.

I see what you do there.

DARE is having to do bake sales to get funding.

I’m sure it will do very well competing in the free market, it being so valuable and all.

🙂 indeed.

Scott said,

I wanna know why Obama shot down the U-2 spy plane. Was it just for the sake of evil? Or was it for the sake of EEEEEVIL?

It was for the sake. Teh evil sake.
~

MY CRAIGSLIST PERSONALS AD INCLUDES THE TERM “BIRTHER CURIOUS”!!!

I got myself a reversible coma so it would go with all my outfits.

Hey, I was in an irreversible coma one time and I had all kinds of deep thoughts about the end of life, but I forgot what they were when I woke up.

Usually people don’t even contemplate end of life until they’re in an irreversible coma.

IT’S TRUE STOP LAUGHING! TERRI SCHIAVO TOLD HIM SO!! SHUT UP STOP LAUGHING!

Chris Wallace knows of which he speaks, being in an irreversible coma already (albeit an uncharacteristically noisy one.)

That’s just gas escaping.

My reversible coma is plaid on one side, for those days when I want to be funky-fresh.

After Washington accepted the commission from the Continental Congress, he updated his will.

Is there no limit to Obama’s fiendish continuum-bestriding cunning?

fiendish continuum-bestriding cunning

Veiled donkey-sex abomination.

Oh yeah, I’ll reverse that comma for you.
ʽ

What Jonah’s deadline was for:

Leaving aside the fact that the Bible nowhere says we should be our brother’s keeper (the phrase appears once — when Cain is trying to dodge a murder rap from God) or my own view that the government should never see itself as a keeper of anyone but incarcerated criminals (my dictionary says keepers are prison guards and zoo wardens), I think Obama’s approach is a welcome change of pace.

And this:

Of all the silly arguments that have been passed off as deeply profound in American politics, the notion that politicians can’t “impose” their personal morality on others has to top the list.

Did you notice this part?

Of all the silly arguments that have been passed off as deeply profound in American politics

No, really, you should read it. Here:

Of all the silly arguments that have been passed off as deeply profound in American politics

I would like to “impose” my “personal morality” on Jonah in an airport men’s room stall at a date and time to be determined as soon as possible.

I knew he’d come around!

silly arguments that have been passed off as deeply profound in American politics

But that is unpossible. Real heartland americans cannot be fooled by anyone working at the Ministry of Silly Walks.

His space-time hopping abilities and his penchant for using them to upset conservatives make it clear that Obama is Q.

Likewise, his valiant efforts to use his hidden powers to help others thwart the evil Obama would make Mr Pantload his arc nemesis… Whoopi Goldberg? This has the unintended but also totally intended side effect of proving that nothing Mr Pantload, and by extension any other member of the Super-duper friends (that’s conservative pundits to you and I), does could ever be considered racist.

Sorry Whoopi.

Where’s my last post? Come back little sheba…

His space-time hopping abilities and his penchant for using them to upset conservatives make it clear that Obama is Q.

“The Winged Serpect”?!?!?!?!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084556/

Quetzalcoatlicious!

Pardon me, that was supposed to be Winged Serpent. I must have been thinking of The Usual Serpects, or maybe Serpico.

Of all the silly arguments that have been passed off as deeply profound in American politics, the notion that Jonah Goldberg brings the slightest qualifications or intellectual depth to the American political debate has to top the list.

Didn’t W choke on a Quetzalcoatl once while in office? And is that any less plausible than the official explanation?

His gag reflex was too sensitive.

So “Quetzalcoatl” is Jeff James Gannon Guckert’s new screen name?

No, no! Quetzalcoatl is his Nahuatl name. In honor of the Mayan apocalypse bringing the world to an end in 2012, we need to translate it into Yucatec, and picture William Shatner screaming:

“Kukul-KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!

Feel compelled to pass this along. Here’s a moral reason to quit smoking. Malawi’s child tobacco pickers suffer illness, exploitation. Tobacco companies “have shifted as much as three-quarters of their production to Third World countries to cut labour and other costs” and the child labourers picking the stuff are vomiting blood. Niiiiiiiiiiice.

Tobacco companies “have shifted as much as three-quarters of their production to Third World countries to cut labour and other costs”

Aaaaah. The wonders of the free market. It provides moral instruction while feeding our addictions.

Camels©: Turkish & domestic blend, no Malawi ‘baccy in them.

And R. J. Reynolds is just the sweetest corporate entity ever.

Sad to say, my will isn’t reversible anymore – at least not since I burnt out the clutch & the gearbox on it a few years back trying to drag-race my desire on a straightaway.

Living Wills are identical to euthanasia … just like porn is identical to sex, & an IOU is identical to cash.

Uh oh. Looks like Tinkerbell still isn’t moving … clap harder, you fuckers, CLAP HARDER!

Ya got a light, mac?

Nope, just a dark brown reversible coma.

Entries with multiple definitions are central to his point.

Points with multiple centers are the definition of his entries.

but I forgot what they were when I woke up.

That’s why we’re forcing you to read these death books. Gawd!

Mieux vaut tard que jamais

With emphasis on the “tard”.

a socialist would scoop out your heart with a large melon-baller
“Melon-baller”? You philistine. Anyone would think that you have never heard of heart-snatchers.

My reversible coma is plaid on one side, for those days when I want to be funky-fresh.

My reversible colon makes sure I’m always fulla shit.

Anyone who has had a kid and hasn’t contemplated end-of-life has something wrong with them. Nothing like becoming a parent to drive mortality home to you (and I’ve had a parent die, so I know what that’s like too).

My reversible colon makes sure I’m always fulla shit.
Intussusception is painful bloody unpronounceable theft!