Post Cocoa Pebbles, Post Waffle Crisp?
Posted on August 22nd, 2009 by Gavin M.
Glenn Reynolds, Instapundit:
POST-PARTISAN, POST RACIAL?
- An actor asks whether Obama is making us launch a guerilla insurgency. Yes, and slowly. One thing is for sure: We’re the biggest babies since ’70s hippies.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Damn Hollywood pseudo-politicians… I call for a mud wrestling match between Voight and Barbara Streisand.
Also, first?
In such times as these, we have all asked ourselves WWJVD?
Last night I was playing my stepson’s ps3. He has some revision of Grand Theft Auto. The most hilarious aspect of the game was getting into stolen cars and tuning it to one of the radio stations to listen to the Richard Bastion show. It was a glorious send-up of the right-wing STUPID, a bunch of chickenshit weenies whining about their liberties in between complaining stupidly about things they didn’t even understand. One of the quotes was, “As you know I’m a former actor and an expert on several subjects . . . ”
Right-wingers are of course automatically experts on everything.
Awfully hard to see VD Hanson’s crazy list as something other than getting “wee-weed up.”
Well, who wouldn’t?
In such times as these, we have all asked ourselves WWJVD?
Who would Jesus give VD to?
Or, for the grammar nazis, To whom would Jesus give VD?
As an actor in several 3D horror movies, I’d like to state that I’m also an expert in multivariate regression analysis and stochastics.
As a famous movie actor and ladies man, man’s man and man about town, I’m also a qualified diesel mechanic and drivetrain specialist.
As the star of a long series of movies, I’m also an expert in demolition and crowd control.
I’ve done some movie acting. I was “The Fat John” thrown out the window by the hooker’s pimp in in the beginning of “Hollywood Vice 2”. I’m also an expert in epidemiology, with several papers published on leprosy.
Well, come on. Stop fucking around then. Get your copy, read it, and start a Knoxville foco once you’re done.
Er…the papers are published on paper, the subject is leprosy. Just want to clear that up.
Clear up the papers or clear up the leprosy?
It seems that WP has decided that my post are simply spamtastics today,
It seems that WP has decided that my posts are simply spamtasktic today.
Fucking gorillas…they will probably eat all of our precious bananas. Thank you, John Voight, for alerting us to this slow-moving catastrophe.
This is just preparation for when they do Oklahoma City II, to keep us from going all Guantanamo on their asses. The instant something like that happens, they’ll start bawling, “WAAAAHHH, look what you made us Real Americans do!” It’ll be so pathetic, we won’t have the heart to pull off the mock executions.
I wish I was joking.
I find it amusing that a man who made his mark in an X rated movie that was part of our long slide down into liberalism should feel so threatened by freedom. Why does John Voight hate America?
…and let’s not forget a little America Hating number I like to call “Coming Home.” Did we help to sully our national character with that one, or what? What happened to you JV?
Jebus it’s feast or famine around here. Now I have to go read. Oh! BTW, Inglourious Basterds is teh awesome!
My ultra-liberal son-in-law has what’s likely the top grossing movie in the country this weekend, so I’d just like to say… nay, beg:
Will someone please notice ME? Please?
I’m not so old, am I? Could I be?
I’m still relevant. Aren’t I? Really, I am. Please notice me. Please?
Jon Voigt said
Stop staring at my daughter!
I wish Jonny Boy would just go for the gusto and begin every statement with, “Hi, I’m not the Secretary of Defense, but I played one in a movie.” The best part is, that still makes him superior to You-Bet Rummy in every way.
As long as the remains associated with Steven Paul, John “Superbabies” Voight is a washed-up hack.
I also have a bit part the the biggest movie of the weekend. I portray a fat nazi bureaucrat.
Hello, Quentin? Yeah, hi, it’s Jon. Yeah, for some reason, you were too busy to see me, but I hung around the set for the entire shoot and…
Look, Quentin, you’ve helped revitalize the careers of several has-been actors before… so why not me? I mean, Rod Taylor as Churchill? Rod F*ckin’ Taylor?
I could have played the Nazi… Look, look, watch: “Could I have a glass of milk?’ See? See, I could have done that.
Hello? Hello?! …Quentin? Did we get cut off? Hello?
Did I ever say something anywhere near this insane?
Didn’t think so.
What can we say? He came to the cattle call audition.
I’ve portrayed a soccer ball.
Yaknow, I really like the idea of carving a swastika into Nazi foreheads. Hello Bill Kristol? Over here, I’d like a word with you in private please.
I won’t let this country be swallowed whole by the giant snake of socialism. The part of J-Lo will be played by Sarah Palin. Their butts are identical.
I like the idea of carving a backward “B” for “Obama.” Hello Ashley Todd?
Oops, that Bacwards “B” shouldn’t have come from “Jon Voight.” (Unless it was another crafty conservative face-carving hoax).
#$@#!! Word Press!
A armed insurgency against the american government on american soil no less. What a lovely idea!! Bin Laden and A-Mad would be delighted.
Dear Mr. Professor Reynolds, kindly shove a hand-grenade up your arse.
And Jon Voight’s damn car was a piece of shit also!
He will always be remembered as the guy who was the first to give another guy a blow job in a major Hollywood movie.
Don’t blame me just because YOU forgot to change your nym. Sheeesh, All the work I do around here and this is the tanks I get?
aw crap, fuck you word press, erm… fuck me I guess.
Why won’t anyone fuck <i?me???
Posting at No More Mister Nice Blog, AIMAI offers a firsthand account of a recent conversation she had with Joke Line, who is apparently back to his old tricks of comforting the comfortable and afflicting the afflicted; in other words, modern U.S. journamalism.
The granddaughter of I.F. Stone apparently doesn’t take very well to that sort of thing. Her post is a fun read.
meep,
I was about to mention that. It’s the funniest fucking thing I’ve read in a while.
Also, back on topic,
Because 2001-2009 – Electric Boogaloo never happened.
Fuck, that guy is stupid.
As the old joke goes…
All my life, I’ve built great ships. Commerce floats on my works.
Do they say, “There goes that shipbuilder, Joe”?
No.
All my life, I’ve given to charity. I’ve saved thousands of sick children.
Do they say, “That Joe, what a philanthropist”?
No.
But you suck one little cock…
Oh, yay.
The blatherings of Jon Voight, Venereal Davis Hanson, and the inevitable “heh, indeedy” from The Perfesser.
It’s like a Voltron of stupid.
Because 2001-2009 – Electric Boogaloo never happened.
Goddamnit, justme, you just HAD to when I was going to.
“Divisive”. Yeah, Bush was divisive because he was lazy, incompetent, actively ignorant, clueless, isolated and surrounded himself with evil and corruption. Obama’s “divisive” because he pisses off conservatives who insist on making shit up and then getting all bent out of shape over the shit they’ve made up.
justme: Divisive = Causing insanity in wingnuts by getting elected silly. See also Clinton, Bill who was also very very “divisive” because he made them accuse him of rape and murder and forced them to impeach him over a blow job for being a moderate Democrat just like Obama is now forcing them to call him a fascist commie Kenyan for the crime of getting elected while black.
Or, for the grammar nazis, To whom would Jesus give VD?
I think those would be grammar Pharisees. The grammar Sadducees, on the other hand, don’t believe in holding too fast to such arbitrary, dated rules.
The “grammar Sadducees”, would their symbol be a ‘saduceus’.
forced them to impeach him over a blow job for being a moderate Democrat
And forced them to spend millions of dollars of the public’s money and waste weeks of business time in Washington to do it.
Ay, no mames WP.
‘saduceus’
Obama is divisive because the wingnuts hate him. It’s all his fault.
Lou Dobbs said,
I’m also an expert in epidemiology, with several papers published on leprosy.
In my favourite alternative reality, Vilhelm Møller-Christensen had a second career in films.
His expertise was in leprosy, of course, and in particular in its effects on the facial bones; he was known for wandering through airport terminals, on his way to some conference or another, carrying a string bag of skulls (they was simpler times then). We never hear about his skill as a character actor.
And they — what I hear, you know, talking about our president. When I hear people saying quite unthinkable things about our president, when I see our president defaced, which is defacing our country. He’s the leader of our country. He’s the leader of the free world. It — my heart is very heavy.
@justme said,
The punchline I heard involved fucking just one goat.
Though I don’t recall that scene from Midnight Cowboy, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.
I remember during the 2008 Presidential campaign, when the Republicans, instead of making Obama out to be a foreign-born terrorist-loving whitey-hating secretly Muslim Black Panther, said things like “we just think that Mr. Obama’s ideas for leading America are not as good as our own”.
testing
… just one goat.
Frito-Lay’s web site states that they use enzymes from pigs (porcine enzymes) in some of their seasoned snack chip products to develop ‘unique flavors’.
goat – pig – it’s so hard to choose just one.
Let’s split the difference, and make it a Mickey Kaus joke.
Also, divisive? Really?
Har.
And, Pere Ubu,
That too, but it just struck me that they were the administration most reliant upon the politics of division since perhaps the Civil War. It was their absolute stock in trade. The only way they got anything done was to peel off a few more votes with some distasteful push poll, or the like. “Divisive”, I have to think, wasn’t a dirty word at all to Rove and Pals. Not so much a bug, but a feature. Without wedge issues, how would they have ever gotten millions to vote against their better interests, gleefully cheer as their Constitution was treated as so much toilet paper and become a hardened base insisting on having their rights trampled?
I think those would be grammar Pharisees.
Dividing the grammar Fronch from the grammar Espenerds?
I thought those were the grammar Pear Knees.
That is the pharisee of the excluded muddle.
grammar Pear Knees.
Those mountains are grammar pear gneiss.
pharisee of the excluded muddle.
Band name of veiled PENIS.
They also make quality Salome.
They also make quality Salome.
To be served with garnish on seven-veils bread.
…just set the platter down over there…
Now I see it said BAND name, not BRAND name. I regret any mental harm I may have caused by that leap, but I hope you enjoyed the ride.
Yah, it’s all Obama’s fault, because no one was saying liberals are traitors when Bush was around. We all sipped tea together and had polite disagreements.
Why is this so complicated for you stupid libruls? The difference is that back then you traitors didn’t have power. Now you liberal traitors stole power with a magical black Kenyan who does not represent the True America as embodied in white conservative Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina, Georgia, and other leading lights of the most patriotic section of the country ever, the Confederacy.
I regret any mental harm I may have caused by that leap, but I hope you enjoyed the ride.
What about physical harm? My sciatica is acting up.
Whatever do you mean, disagreements? Nobody disagreed with the Bush Administration. That would have been divisive.
Well, no Real Americans, anyway. A few dirty hippies, and maybe some terrorist furriner muslins, but that doesn’t really count, cause they’re not people.
My sciatica is acting up.
Have you considered obedience training?
Also, back on topic,
Because 2001-2009 – Electric Boogaloo never happened.
Fuck, that guy is stupid.
Dubya wasn’t just divisive, he was grotesquely so, given the extremes of his approval ratings. Immediately after 9/11, everyone loved him, because they would have clung to a towel wrapped around a lightbulb under those circumstances. He then began the inexorable (and not so slow) slide toward the worst numbers of any two-term president in history. Has any president ever had so many people turn on him so soon?
Something to keep in mind when those assholes keep crowing about Obama’s ratings dropping from the post-election high.
they would have clung to a towel wrapped around a lightbulb under those circumstances.
I see what you do there.
Immediately after 9/11, everyone loved him, because they would have clung to a towel wrapped around a lightbulb under those circumstances.
I think we should have elected the towel & lightbulb President instead.
We would have been a lot better off, really.
I think we should have elected the towel & lightbulb President instead.
Would the towel and lightbulb have to be native-born? If so, good luck.
My sciatica is acting up.
Have you considered obedience training?
Of course. My wife has been treating my back with a corset and dog-collar for years.
Look, Quentin, you’ve helped revitalize the careers of several has-been actors before… so why not me? I mean, Rod Taylor as Churchill? Rod F*ckin’ Taylor?
“Hey, I’m as puffy and pale as Walken… I can do crazy! Pick MEEE!!!”
he was known for wandering through airport terminals, on his way to some conference or another, carrying a string bag of skulls (they was simpler times then)
“Two heads are better than none, and a hundred heads are so much better than one!</A
“I think we should have elected the towel & lightbulb President instead.”
You would have voted for a towel headlight? Traitor!
Of course. My wife has been treating my back with a corset and dog-collar for years.
The safe word is “lumbar”.
If the tardbaggers want to start up the civil war again, over HEALTHCARE of all things, I say bring it. I’d enlist in the Union Army. I will rise through the ranks to general and re-enact Sherman’s March, only not so nice this time.
I would submit we should all sit tight and wait until Editor Korir releases the long-form vault copy of the towel & lightbulb’s birth certificate before making any wild accusations about being un-American.
If you keep up these baseless attacks I shall be forced to hire union thugs to throw acorns at you.
I’d enlist in the Union Army.
Count me in for the quartermasters’ corp. I’ll run provisioning for the POW camps and force the mofos to eat arugula and drink macchiati.
Just wait till the “forced metrosexualization” takes place, they’ll have clean nails for once.
It definitely was. Delay was famous for actually aiming to pass legislation with 218 and not one vote more. Rove only ever wanted 51%. Getting larger majorities means more people on your side to spread out the winnings to, which is how they view society – as a zero-sum competition.
Rove only ever wanted 51%.
I loved Rachel Maddow’s basketball analogy- she’s a national treasure.
Local college radio station is playing “Shot by Both Sides” by Magazine. AWESOME!
Post Toasties?
In a perfect historical irony, we’d want our general to just sit around and wait for the enemy to die of old age.
Indeed, a favorite source of consolation on my part was that Bush came closer to losing reelection than any wartime incumbent; they tend to win by national landslides and he had to cheat to win Ohio.
And that was against John Kerry, who if the Democrats are ever worth paying attention to again will be what they carve on Electability’s tombstone.
In a perfect historical irony, we’d want our general to just sit around and wait for the enemy to die of old age.
This guy would fit the bill, were he not long dead.
I’m thinking particularly McClellan, a general so bad that he not only later tried to ouster Lincoln so as to surrender the war himself but later reincarnated himself as a press secretary and made a living helping the Confederacy invade Iraq.
Indeed, a favorite source of consolation on my part was that Bush came closer to losing reelection than any wartime incumbent
If you don’t count LBJ. (Which I guess you shouldn’t, since he was smart enough not to run.)
I have neither the time nor the skills, but I would like to edit the “heil hitler” teabagging c_nt’s final whine and send it to Reynolds, Voight, everyone involved in An American Carol, that dipshit congressman in California who said that Obama’s health care plan is a direct assault on democracy, etc.
I’m really getting pissed. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
And if I ever see some asshole standing on a street corner with an assault rifle and that Jefferson ‘Tree of liberty’ quote on a placard, I sure as hell hope the SWAT team has a bead on his microcephalus. I sure wouldn’t want to be that person in a crowded, noisy environment. Basically, you’re dumb as shit and asking for a double tap to the noggin from a sniper rifle the instant a car backfires or someone starts tossing fireworks. So don’t be dumb, leave the guns at home.
I have to keep telling myself, don’t lose it. That’s what they want. They want a backlash. They pray for a backlash so they can validate their pathetic victim-complexes, before they strike a pose as no-nonsense, liberty-defendin’ tough guys.
Ignorance is a pre-existing condition.
Verrucosus Cunctator
Best Doppelbock name evah.
Following the VD article:
Like, OMG, that hailstone totally disproves global warming!
The best part of the sad, sorry saga of LBJ and Vietnam is that it was an essentially bipartisan desire to see the war fobbed off onto someone, anyone else that both drove him out of power and gave us Nixon, and Nixon’s dead-end supporters tend to assume that Tricky Dick, when they acknowledge that he had such DFHish sentiments at all, assume them to be Noble Lies.
I’ve always had a bit of distrust for the Kounterkultur – after all, LBJ was The Man at the time, and all adding drugs to Republicans gives you is Libertarians – but it’s a damn sight more noble than its detractors, who believe all the filthy acid casualties are formenting slave revolt as we speak.
God damn, we have fucked politics.
We got a blizzard last year. I like how these people are so desperate to beard Gore that they pretend nothing is up when you have blizzards in the fucking Mojave and Sonora Deserts. They call them that for a reason, you miserable cunt-fuckers.
Mojave and Sonora Deserts
The first is red wine gently drizzled over plain sherbet, the second resembles baked alaska prepared by a monotone tenor.
The safe word is “lumbar”.
After I spent so much time in close quarters with her cervicalx.
I closed that fucking tag.
Actually, given the comment, it was a fucking fucking tag.
You know, if you tilt your head at just the right angle, the lightbulb in a towel looks suspiciously like a faceless muslim.
slippy said,
August 22, 2009 at 22:56
“Though I don’t recall that scene from Midnight Cowboy, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.”
Tis true, but only strongly implied. You see Voight, the gigilo/hustler, put his head toward the lap of some guy and the camera pans to the “victim’s” head to show his excitement. It is why the movie originally received an X rating. I searched (shudder) for the link on Youtube. Was I successful? Sadly, No! Either way it would be sad I guess.
Hah! person’s “face” not “head” to be clear.
I agree with you gocart. My dad is an asshole. Why don’t we get together when Brad is not around?
Are you implying that Brad has some kind of magical family-dispute-solving oral powers? Man, I gotta get into football.
Holy shit, why do I keep on fucking forgetting that Angelina Jolie’s dad is Jon Voight? At least I could get into a mindset where it doesn’t blow my Goddamn mind every time.
P.S.: Jon Voight needs a wheelchair and a cigarette holder to ‘max. Believe it!
Ooh WHEE!
Voight, Hanson & Reynolds, all in one Jumbo Gorgonzola sammich of phail? How can I not click that?
*click*
Yeesh, if Jon-Boy does much more BoTox someone’s going to have to get the CDC to monitor his face. Nice to see him joining fellow washed-up dipshit Hammity to hand out scholarships to the relatives of folks they helped BushCo to kill – at least it keeps them off the streets, eh?
LOL WUT
Dirty nigra won’t even let us steal yet another election fair & square like we usually do! ZOMFG, Barrack Osama kilt dimocracy!!!11!!111!!!!
As for ol’ VD, the least intellectual of the Hanson Brothers, sigh, what can I say? “The proposed medicines are worse than the raging disease” is straight out of an Anne Rice 1st draft by way of a psych-ward. Indeed, what could be worse than legions suffering hellishly &/or dying from a pigshite health-care system? Why, FIXING IT, of course!
Bonus points to Der Perfesser von Scheißefürgehirne for “Spiro Agnew was a better hatchetman than Joe Biden” – who knew beatnik poetry could be so unfunny?
I don’t want Gavin around neither.
As long as I’m on old jokes today…
“Wednesday? Well, are you gay?”
“No”
“Mmmm. You’re going to hate Wednesdays.”
Yes, these are the fuckers that perfected(?) governing for “the majority of the majority” (of the majority, of the majority, etc.), to divide and leverage power at every level until there was just their little club pulling the wedge-strings. I hope DeLay’s debut on Dancing With the Stars includes him tripping, breaking his femur in a spiral compound fracture that he then falls on, puncturing a lung. Now that I’d watch.
Can you feel the love?
I don’t know why, but something about VDH’s pretending to be a historian makes me especially angry. Look his name up on any eXile mirror to see why; if there was a Hell he’d have earned a berth there for comparing his liverless toadying for Bechtel and Halliburton to the effort, near-holy by our dismal standards, to destroy the Nazis and the Japanese Empire in response to massive use of force.
I’d suggest that he founder in the storm-struck surf of a French beach forever, an eternity of drowning terror punctuated by an endless spray of German bullets, denied the relief of death and only half-blinded by the stinging sea, but then how could he spend the thousands of lifetimes he’s richly deserved in star billing for Sparta’s Funniest Helot Violations?
There just isn’t any justice.
The fact that this country elected a socialist Muslim president is proof that this is a right-wing country.
A bunch of trust fund kids go slumming, drop acid, and get a lot of media attention for their fashion and simple sound-bite thoughts, then twenty years after they become the yuppies they were meant to be, anyone who is liberal and anti-war is labeled a frickin’ hippie. Gawd, I hate that label.
Puritanical wingnuts react with the usual hysteria to “the first video of a couple having sex in an MRI scanner. Just released, it was made from a series of images captured during an experiment some years ago. The study aimed to prove that it was possible to image male and female genitals during sex and to help better understand human anatomy.”
Soon they’ll be wearing automatic assault weapons when visiting the Internet.
Comment?
Ah hah, I can comment from the Comfort Inn in Albuquerqe, but not the one in Grants. Wireless vs. DSL, maybe?
Well said, I have nothing to add. This comment is directed at no one in particular.
AIG’s New Chief is a raging dickhead http://tinyurl.com/l3hevt
I can’t believe you said that, gocart!
AIG’s New Chief is a raging dickhead
Did that even need a link? I mean, one would naturally assume so.
AIG’s New Chief is a raging dickhead…
Meet the New Boss!
i thought you might be interested in the size and shape.
Holy shit, why do I keep on fucking forgetting that Angelina Jolie’s dad is Jon Voight?
It’s not just you that keeps forgetting Jon Voight exists. That’s why the geriatric fuck is so desperate to get his name out.
Why do those damn HOLLYWEIRD actors keep injecting themselves into politics? When will the elitist actors stop being so unAMERICAN and support HTE PRESIDENT during a TIME of WAr instead of trying TO HURT GODSOWNCOUNTRY! Why do THEY hate AMERICA so MUCH?!!!!!!!!!1111111111one
Don’t tell Voight, but Billy Bob was the father figure he could never be. Billy Bob didn’t wet his pants everytime somebody said the word “vodka.”
Aw, holy fuck, Lesley.
As I am far too often wont to say, unfortunate but hardly unexpected.
This is brilliant, though.
It makes no sense to me why a top tax rate of 90% isn’t a popular idea right about now.
Billy Bob is an asshole.
Also not terribly surprising, and I’m not interested enough in the shape and size thereof to watch that whole thing.
That interview was funny.
You guys only formed in the last couple of years, right?
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
When did the band form?
I’m not sure what that means.
Wait a minute. It’s late, and I’m tired, but is Instaputz linking to an article in the Moonie Times about Jon Voight’s concerns that America is becoming unfree? That can’t possibly…oh shit, he did. Then some Victor Douchebag Hansen bullshit about bullshit, and then something about “even Nixon didn’t do that,” and then Agnew. WTF? Is he saying Obama, after seven months in office, is worse than Nixon in some way? Fuck, I’m not nearly drunk enough to deal with this.
Tell me again why anyone ever reads this shit-for-brains, and gives a flying fuck about anything he has to say about anything. Fucking moron.
Fuck, I’m not nearly drunk enough to deal with this.
As your medical advisor, I recommend akvavit. And weizenbock.
As your medical advisor, I recommend akvavit. And weizenbock.
Don’t have either handy, but I do have some Wee-weebock.
The real truth is that the Obama administration is professional at bullying, as we have witnessed with ACORN at work during the presidential campaign.
Black folks with clipboards registering voters in predominantly poor, minority areas = professional bullying; gun-brandishing tea-baggers = aw shucks, jes’ plain folks patriotically dissentin’.
John Voight has never met an Israeli atrocity that he couldn’t excuse away so I consider his credibility on anything else in the same realm.
That’s nuttier than shit from a squirrel that eats black folks with clipboards registering voters in predominantly poor minority areas.
That = Jon Voight
Here’s what I noticed about Mr. Bozell’s website ad environment:
hypocrisy.
http://storyarc.squarespace.com/brent-bozells-ad-environment/
though I was not surprised.
ice9