Men, Men, Men, Men…

In his latest Townhall column, W. Thomas Smith, Jr. fantasizes about being protected by manly men with strong arms and firm buttocks:

THOMASSMITH.jpg

American manhood will prevail
Mar 6, 2006
by W. Thomas Smith, Jr.

I’m often asked whether or not America is still producing future generations of the right sort of men. Not just good men—a man is either good or bad—but tough, clear-headed, un-emasculated, young male leaders capable of standing up to future threats against this nation. After all, as Dr. Walid Phares concludes in his book, Future Jihad, what most Americans “may not want to accept is that the pre-9/11 peace is not coming back soon, and may not come back at all.�

Worse: the future foot-soldiers in the enemy camp are physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared—albeit misguided—young men (and a handful of women) who have no qualms about sacrificing themselves for the cause of our destruction.

Precisely. We must train our young’uns to become suicide bombers, or we’ll all be speaking Muslamic by the end of the decade.

And despite awkward attempts at gender-norming in our own camp, young American males will no doubt be the members of our own society looked-to to stem the tide. The nation will continue to look to men – not women – because most Americans still believe most men are better equipped physically, physiologically, and psychologically for the kind of work required to thwart terrorism (U.S. Army studies over the past 15 years reveal the vast majority of women – civilian and military – have no desire to fight anyway.).

And the men who aren’t physically equipped to fight can get jobs at Townhall, where they’ll bravely sit at their desks and denounce anti-war demonstrators as sissies.

Some argue it’s a difference in how we are wired. Others say it’s how we are socially groomed. Arguments aside: when the wolf is at the door, we still want the strongest, most aggressive person with the biggest stick.

I can’t believe he just wrote that. Now I have this horrible image in my head of two guys with “the biggest sticks” having a sword fight in Thomas’ mouth.

Moreover, women are currently barred from serving in infantry and special operations units, and for good reason beyond the aforementioned obvious. “Good men protect and defend women in the face of a physical threat,� writes Kate O’Beirne in Women Who Make the World Worse. “If men in uniform are going to be sex blind when it comes to protecting their comrades, American mothers will have to get to work instructing their sons that it’s okay to hit girls.�

So if we allow women to serve in infantry, that means we’ll have to teach boys that it’s OK to hit girls.

No, that’s really what he’s arguing here.

So let’s face it, it’s still up to young men to protect us, as well as other young men who will lead them.

And who are these young men who will lead the swarthy blue-collar men to their deaths? Ding! That’s right! They’re the Cheetos-stained wretches of the blogosphere, those noble warriors whose mission to serve their country by typing the words “Welcome Instapundit readers!” O, what a Brave New World that has such Doughy Pantloads in it!

So what about those young men? Are we—in the land of excess and deliberately dumbed-down masculinity—still turning good boys into great men who can counter the incalculable numbers of boys in other parts of the world who are simultaneously being transformed into terrorists?

You bet.

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The proof, I’ve discovered, can be found in almost any middle or high school gym or stadium on weeknights during wrestling or football season.

Right, this is starting to creep me out.

Thomas, do these boys’ parents know that you’re skeezing around high school gyms and staring at their sons wrestling one another?

There you will find boys like my 14-year-old nephew, William Maxwell Fowler, who are not succumbing to American excess, instant gratification, materialism, and politically correct gender-norming.

Max, a newly titled state wrestling champion, and other boys like him can’t follow those things and expect to compete successfully. In their world, it’s all about patience, persistence, aggressiveness, sacrifice, honor, morality, and respect for superiors and those weaker than themselves.

“And WHIPPING OUT YOUR BIG STICK AND SLAPPING THE WEAKLINGS IN THE FACE WITH IT!!!!!!!”

It’s also about the unique surge of euphoria found only in single and team combat, and a willing acceptance of blood and tears, regular features of full-contact sports. Finally, it’s about the seemingly contradictory experiences of primal pleasure and suffering, an odd mix known only to men.

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Though it may seem egocentric, it is a world void of selfishness and even the vanity often evident in so-called sports like body-building (Yes, I’ll probably take some hits for that one). Wrestlers, football players, and other full-contact athletes of course, lift weights, run, and do other physical conditioning exercises. But they do it not for looks or sex appeal (though that’s certainly a collateral benefit): Instead, it’s all about performance, competing to win, vanquishing the opponent, and bringing the entire team with them.

And getting hot and sweaty with a group of other dudes. You can’t forget that one.

Let’s take wrestling for example: Wrestling is a pure single-combat sport requiring more than just the physically fit athlete: It requires the whole man.

“Wrestling is both an individual and a team sport, requiring individual accountability,� says Ted Monroe, coach of the Lugoff-Elgin (S.C.) Middle School Leopards (Max’s team). “You’ve got to sacrifice. You’ve got to make weight [eating less and spitting a lot]. You’ve got to develop the physical and psychological tools to win. You’ve got to experience failure and pain.�

Hot heads need not apply.

Hot asses, on the other hand, are a must, espeically if Thomas is watching.

UPDATE: For more on manliness, see the decidedly not-very-manly S.Z.

 

Comments: 51

 
 
 

It’s raining men?

 
 

Hey, Seb, your package arrived in the mail today. Thanks! Those ginger cake thingees are yummy!

 
 

I believe this entire article can be distilled into a song:

It’s morning, I open my eyes
And everything’s still the same
I turn to the guy who stayed last night
and ask him: What’s your name?

This seems to happen more and more
I love those men one and all
Each new one I meet
Makes my heart beat fast
When I see them so strong and tall

So many men
So little time (so many men, so little time)
How can I lose?
So many men
so little time (so many men, for Me & My)
How can I choose?

So many men (so many men)
So little time (so many men, so little time)
How can I lose?
So many men (so many men)
so little time (so many men, for Me & My)
How can I choose?
So many men

 
 

Dammit, Seb beat me to it. With another DDR song no less! ^_^

 
 

we still want the strongest, most aggressive person with the biggest stick.

I can’t believe it’s not butter, uh, porn.

 
 

> Right, this is starting
> to creep me out.

Exactly what I was thinking when we got to that point in the article. [shudder]

When really-gay gays (and I’m one myself) talk like this, I stay at arm’s length. I think it’s time to coin a phrase for these wingnut, ostensibly hetero stealth-gays who get all excited when Commander Codpiece (or a suitable substitute) walks in the room.

They’re out there on the web and tee-vee (Hi, Chris Matthews!), so it sure would be handy to not have to fisk every love letter to, say, one’s 14-yo nephew’s wrestling team. (!!)

not one of these wannabes who openly admire codpiece ) but seeing this running theme through all these Fierce fightin’ keyboarders work — how they get all worked up over manly manliness — (not to mention Chris Matthews’ adoration of W’s codpiece) almost makes me understand why people want to punch faggots out. 🙂

(Voila! Understanding!!)

 
 

Whoa!

Scratch that last graf and a splash — early draft!!!!

(damn you, Internet…)

 
 

Gotta love these pieces. They could be titled Why Assholes Are Better Than Non-Assholes (by Wannabe A. Asshole) or God Save Us From Men Who Use Product.

It’s mostly an inferiority complex bred by consistently inferior IQ scores. It happens to the guys who think pico de gallo is “taco-flavored.”

 
 

Oh holy crap on toast.

Someone needs to point out to Mr. Smith the role icky femmey women played in the resistance to the Nazis:

Women played an integral part in partisan warfare as well. In Minsk, a woman named Natasha Lifshitz played the role of a danny ground scout. Some women were used to distract the Gestapo men until more partisans could come and help out. Along with a partisan leader, Simon Gregoryevich, she helped to blow up a German military train, wipe out a garrison, and blow up convoys

The Nazis were especially afraid of the women combat troops; they were considered the most ruthless of all.

Jezul, I wish the damn wingnuts would pay SOME attention to history.

 
Charlotte Smith
 

So, if I teach my future sons and daughters that it’s only OK to hit in self-defence, will my daughters be too manly and my sons be too womanly? I’m confused.

 
 

“I wanna be a cowboy
And you can be my… cowboy…

 
 

Nothing can stop our Great American Manhood!

 
 

Is there a lot of wrassling going on in Iraq? Should we be recruiting high school wrestlers? Is this his premise or did he just want to tell us he likes watching young boys in unitards get sweaty while embracing each other in a manly aggressive way?

 
Hysterical Woman
 

“If men in uniform are going to be sex blind when it comes to protecting their comrades, American mothers will have to get to work instructing their sons that it’s okay to hit girls.�

See that protecting your commrades doesn’t mean hitting them, I don’t see the problem in this.

 
 

Hey, Jesus’ General has been hired by Townhall!

Congrats tohitting the big time in a very heterosexual way, Sir!

Who would have thought his real name was Smith though?

 
 

Mr. Smith doesn’t know his history much. Let’s see, Amazon warriors, Celtic and Pictish women fighters, female gladiators, the female archers of the Russian Steppes – back in the day men were terrified of these women – and rightly so (to coin a blog).

Your average Celtic woman warrior would simply take his big ol’ stick, snap it in half, and whack him upside the head with it. Then she’d take his head as a souvenir…

 
 

Okay, so not only is this guy entertaining impure thoughts about his 14 year-old nephew, he is, by posting the poor boy’s name and location, inviting every sexual predator with a dial-up connection to do so as well?

And am I the only one convinced he looks like a chubby Rick Santorum with a chin-pussy?

 
 

Hey, stop ripping on this guy, all he’s doing is admitting a love for all things most manly. Hot boy-boy oil rubdowns for instance. Er, matches I mean… yeah, that’s the ticket.

 
 

As a side not to women in the military, my experience may be fully domestic, but I’ve yet to meet a man that can fight with the kind of fiery determination and stubborness of an angry woman.

Besides, if I were in the military (which is not likely to ever happen) I would think I’d appreciate a little female companionship once in awhile.

I guess I’m just not manly enough…

 
 

How about instead of teaching our darling boys “not to hit girls” we just teach all our children, boys and girls alike, that beating up on people who are weaker than you is just lame.

And I’m sorry, but only men “get” the concept of mixing primal pleasure and suffering? Has this man ever actually *heard* of childbirth? Or even rough sex?

Wow, what an idiot. And creepy, too.

 
 

I don’t know about you guys, but in my high school the guys on the wrestling team were, without a doubt, the biggest DORKS in the whole school. The dudes on the football team were assholes, but they were popular assholes. The guys on the wrasslin’ team were all buzz-cut, never-getting-laid ROTC nerds. I’ve never bench-pressed anything or grappled a sweaty dude in my life, but I played guitar and had a hot girlfriend. You tell me who’s more “manly.”

Putting on the unitard, wearing that jockstrap thing on your head and grappling other sweaty dudes is a surefire way to get made fun of a lot. This behavior also leads to creepy right-wing internet dudes ogling you from afar.

 
 

the seemingly contradictory experiences of primal pleasure and suffering, an odd mix known only to men.

totally! It is so lucky that only men are able to give birth. add that together with wrestling, and it is TOTALLY OBVIOUS that only men can know about the combination of pleasure and suffering.

jackass.

 
 

Dorothy I see we are on the same wavelength. I like it.

 
 

Aside from the worrisome shower-cam vibe of the piece, how exactly is this paean to the glorious values of Sport — “patience, persistence, aggressiveness, sacrifice, honor, morality, and respect for superiors and those weaker than themselves” — not also applicable to girls?

 
 

“Good men protect and defend women in the face of a physical threat,� writes Kate O’Beirne in Women Who Make the World Worse.

Yeah, that’s why so many female soldiers get raped by male soldiers, and the male soldiers basically get no punishment. That’s some great protection.

 
Eric in Hiroshima
 

Remember the woman FBI agent who tried to warn the higher-ups that terrorists were learning to fly planes, but then the manly-men in the Pentagon ignored her because they really wanted to start a manly-type shooting war? She was no good at all in countering the terrorist threat, because the only real way to deal with religion is through violence.

 
 

“U.S. Army studies over the past 15 years reveal the vast majority of women – civilian and military – have no desire to fight anyway.” Sounds good to me. Why do I have the sense that old W. Thomas left out the phrase “and men” out of his summary of those army studies. Seriously, who – male or female – actually has any desire to fight? Unless, of course, we are discussing complete sociopaths.

 
 

If we follow his advice, some wrestling coach will be Speaker of the House some day. That’s just nutty.

 
Galactic Dustbin
 

Mr. Smith doesn’t know his history much. Let’s see, Amazon warriors, Celtic and Pictish women fighters, female gladiators, the female archers of the Russian Steppes – back in the day men were terrified of these women – and rightly so (to coin a blog).

Dont forget the women who fought against the Nazi for the Red Army and Air Force.

 
 

I was just going to leave it alone, but..oh, OK, just one more for the road:

“There you will find boys like my 14-year-old nephew, William Maxwell Fowler, who are not succumbing to American excess, instant gratification, materialism, and politically correct gender-norming.”

Um…So being on a wrestling (or other sports) team means you are automatically saved from the the crass consumerism of American culture? Has this guy never actually watched college or pro sports? Ever?

And where, exactly, in this materialistic instant-gratification consumerism does the “politically correct” gender norming occur?

This guy doesn’t know what his thesis statement is, doesn’t realize that most of his supporting arguments have nothing to do with each other, and wouldn’t know cause and effect relationship if it donned wreslting tights and pinned him. Off the cuff, I’d give it a D+, maybe a C-: it’s incoherent, but it has a deecent beat, and I can dance–er, wrestle to it.

 
 

Ok, I seriously don’t understand the hate for Instapundit. Like many blogs out there, I don’t agree with everything said on it, but by and large it is one of the most intelligently written and decently researched journals I read. I see nothing but *hyuk hyuk* stupidity when it comes to comments against Instapundit, but I have yet to see one solid accusation of any sort. Please, stop telling me I should hate it and tell me what is wrong with it.

 
 

As others pointed out, Odd Thomas neglects to mention that women perform other dangerous jobs – police officers, federal agents, firefighters – as well as military personnel in war zones.

Of course, none of that is as difficult as sitting in an air-conditioned office shitting bad columns through your fingertips…

 
 

I wsih someone would explain to me why the bizarre rantings against this guy whose story many of you have obviously not read in its entirety (particularly in regards to the ‘corruption’ in pro sports which he addresses).
I’ve known and followed the work of Thomas for almost 10 years. Aside from being a marine, he’s a war correspondent, dad, uncle, former athlete and coach who often writes about sports and has often written very supportive stories of the great things women do in sports, business, and the military.
You should take a look at the Fighting Kentuckians article he wrote about women for Scripps Howard.
But just because you don’t like what he said or the conclusions he’s come to here, you call him names like ‘jerk’, ‘asshole’, and ‘creepy’ and numerous other more venomous things about his character. You don’t attack what he says. You attack him? and attempt to defame him in a very gross way because he disagrees with you on a topic?
I can tell you from knowing his family and following his work, if he disagreed with any of you, he would still have respect for you personally.
He would never attack your character.

 
 

Ok, I seriously don’t understand the hate for Instapundit. Like many blogs out there, I don’t agree with everything said on it, but by and large it is one of the most intelligently written and decently researched journals I read. I see nothing but *hyuk hyuk* stupidity when it comes to comments against Instapundit, but I have yet to see one solid accusation of any sort.

Knife to a gunfight, dude. I’ll respond a little later. There are so. Many. Reasons.

 
 

I don’t get his point. Is it “in order to prepare for the future war on Terra we need to have more 14 year olds wrestling?”

 
 

G,
He is only discussing the positive attributes of youth wrestling as an example to make his point that not all kids are in it for themselves.

 
 

I wsih someone would explain to me why the bizarre rantings against this guy whose story many of you have obviously not read in its entirety (particularly in regards to the ‘corruption’ in pro sports which he addresses).

The bizarre rantings are completely rational and I’ll explain them to you in this very sentence (especially particularly most definitely in this very sentence).

*my head explodes*

 
 

only men “get” the concept of mixing primal pleasure and suffering? Has this man ever actually *heard* of childbirth? Or even rough sex?

Not to mention ballet. (I’m serious. Ballet’s top of my list for “This is killing me, but in a good way.” Young Thomas has clearly never guessed at the fierceness of the competition for Bloodiest Toes when the pointe shoes come off in the changing room afterwards.)

And Eric in Hiroshima – too right. Best weapon against terrorism, at least the actual rather than imaginary kind, is intelligence. I guess fantasising about people of either sex engaging in intelligence work just doesn’t do it for Thomas.

 
 

It seems he said:
“it’s about the seemingly contradictory experiences of primal pleasure and suffering, an odd mix known only to men.”

An “odd mix known only to men.”

So, he’s obviously not talking about the ‘mix’ known to women. Nor is he saying there is not such a mix known to women.
It’s an ‘odd’ mix known to men that he is being specific about. That doensn’t mean he believes women don’t experience primal pleasure and suffering. He’s talking about the mix known only to men.
How can that be seen as something that infers female inferiority?
This guy is not being given a fair shake here.
So many of you seem to hate him because of his position about what he believes it takes to physically fight “terra”.
He’s not talking about “intelligence” or “ballet”.
He’s talking about combat. and I think he’s talking about the qualities of maleness.
Just like there are female qualities. There are male qualities.
I think.
Unless I’m missing something here.

The Yaz-per

 
 

I can tell you from knowing his family and following his work, if he disagreed with any of you, he would still have respect for you personally.
He would never attack your character.

This is a comedy site. His article was funny to the fans of this site. He’s a grown man talking about high school wrestling, which obviously has comedic value if we are still all on here talking about it. I called him creepy, and whatever, maybe he isn’t creepy. I’m sure he’s a perfect gentleman and doesn’t like to grapple sweaty boys, he just likes to watch them grapple each other. Fair enough.

Some people may have been put off by his curious views on gender issues or by his back-handed slaps at liberals, but really, I enjoyed the article because it is just funny to visualize the guy in his shirt and tie in the stands of some half-empty high school arena eating nachos and watching boys wrestle.

 
 

What is Wrong With Instapundit

In the comments to this thread, a reader asks: Ok, I seriously don’t understand the hate for Instapundit. Like many blogs out there, I don’t agree with everything said on it, but by and large it is one of the…

 
 

“it’s about the seemingly contradictory experiences of primal pleasure and suffering, an odd mix known only to men.”

An “odd mix known only to men.”

So, he’s obviously not talking about the ‘mix’ known to women. Nor is he saying there is not such a mix known to women.

No, that’s not what this sentence says at all. What the sentence says is
“It {vague reference} is about an odd mix [of the seemingly contradictory experiences of pleasure and pain] [that is] known only to men.

I could diagram it for you if I had graphics, but that’s what it says.
He neither states nor implies that there is one such mix for men and another such mix for women.
He also implies that wrestling (and some other sports, perhaps) are the only places this feeling can be found. We beg to differ.

My overall problem with this article is that it is poorly composed and not well thought out. It encompasses far too many topics to be coherent. The thesis could have been any of the following:

1) “Sports, particular team sports, builds character in teenageed boys.”
2) “Men have an instinctive need to protect women, and I feel that allowing women in combat goes against–and perhaps subverts–that instinct.”
3) “My nephew and his wrestling team are fine examples of my ideal of manliness.”
4) “I am afraid that our current culture of self-absorbed materialism will leave the next generation ill-prepared to defend themselves against a committed, self-sacrificing enemy.”
5) “In times of danger, we as a society instinctively turn to the Alpha Male to protect us. We need to cultivate the next generation of this Alpha Male, and we are not doing it.”
6) “Competitive sports contain an odd mix of the primal experiences of pleasure and pain.”

Any single one of these would have been a thesis worthy of an entire article. By using all of them together to support his thesis (I’m not sure what his thesis actually is: “Men rock!” maybe?), he leaves the poor reader confused, unenlightened, and perhaps bit dazed by some unwieldy turns of phrase (“So let’s face it, it’s still up to young men to protect us, as well as other young men who will lead them.” What does this mean? Who are these other young men? Are they not involved in sports, too?).

It doesn’t matter if the writer is a great father and wonderful husband: none of this improves the article any.

 
 

Wait, if someone exhibits poor character (by, for example, writing something like this article), why can’t we attack said character?

 
 

Heyas, Kate,

It’s like flies to sh-, er, rubbish. You see a grown man writing about half-naked 14-year-old boyz, who then implies that this is the road to moral victory, and you simply HAVE to make bizarre rants. Otherwise, your head explodes from the sheer hypocrisy of it all.

 
 

Sorry Yazee (or shall I call you Mr. Thomas?) but your attempted translation of “it’s about the seemingly contradictory experiences of primal pleasure and suffering, an odd mix known only to men” is tortured past the point of comprehension. Even if it were remotely logical, anyone who has to work that hard to come up with that understanding shouldn’t be surprised when people make fun of the composition.

 
 

Kathleen,
I’ll buy that. It was little difficult for me to grasp at first too. So maybe you are right. I still don’t think he’s as eeeeevil as what most are saying here. Though the primal pleasure and suffering might be a bit much.

Yaz-per

 
 

Thanks, not-me. And for the record, I’d just like it be known that I’d far rather be the fly than the “rubbish”.

And Yazee: NO one said he was evil. Just creepy.

Not synonymous.

 
 

Has Mr. Smith ever been a woman? I mean, you really need a basis of for comparison if you’re going to start issuing declarations about a mix of pleasure and pain unique to males.

 
 

It’s Vocabulary Time!

Fetusphobes. White preservationists. Stealth sharks. Wingnut grudge match. And wingnut petri dish. Trotting out. (Or maybe, “Define “failure”?) Prank. Indispensably Devalued. Manly men (illustrated)….

 
 

I’m often asked whether or not America is still producing future generations of the right sort of men.

Part of me is absolutely terrified of learning who the Hell asks him this stuff.

 
 

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