Is There Anything the Globe’s Op-Ed Page Won’t Publish?
Thanks to tigrismus for sending me this mind-bendingly awful op-ed that appeared in today’s Boston Globe. It was written by some guy named Michael Kalin, whose sole qualification for writing editorials seems to be that he graduated from Haaaaaaaaah-vard last year. As tig rightly notes, it’s probably the most poorly-argued editorial ever published by a major paper*, and is wholly deserving of ridicule. So get ready to rev up the ol’ Sadly, No! chainsaw, kids, ’cause we’re about to shread some serious stupid:
Why Jon Stewart isn’t funny
By Michael Kalin | March 3, 2006THE SELECTION of Jon Stewart as the host for Sunday night’s 2006 Oscars undoubtedly marks a career milestone for the aspiring king of late-night comedy. Unfortunately, however, the ascension of Stewart and ”The Daily Show” into the public eye is no laughing matter. Stewart’s ever-increasing popularity among young viewers directly correlates with the declining influence of progressive thought in America. Coincidence? I think not. Let me explain.
OK, so his thesis is that the left’s failure to win elections is directly related to the ratings of a fake news show on Comedy Central. It sounds like a pretty flaky idea to me, but let’s see what evidence he uses to back up his claim:
Meet Joshua Goldberg, a fictional composite of the typical apostle of ”The Daily Show.” Born in Newton, Goldberg attended Newton South High School where he played an integral role in securing the school’s debate championship. His 3.8 grade point average and impressive array of extracurricular activities earned him a scholarship to Vassar, where he majored in political science and joined a Jewish fraternity.
“He also likes saying ‘Oy gevalt!’ and enjoys eating pastrami-flavored bagels. When he was younger, his mother used to pinch his ponem and brag to her friends about how her little bubeleh was going to be a doctor some day.”
Throughout his formal education, Goldberg stayed up-to-date on national politics through nightly coverage on ”The Daily Show” and even led a petition to protest the genocide in Darfur.
Many of Stewart’s die-hard supporters might use this persona as proof that ”The Daily Show” engages disillusioned viewers who otherwise could not be reached.
If fictional anecdotes about nonexistent people counted as evidence, then yes, I suppose they might.
This argument, however, fails to consider the ultimate career path of Josh Goldberg: Upon graduation in 2004, he accepted a prestigious job as an analyst at Morgan Stanley. Although he no longer follows Washington’s daily political squabbles, Goldberg gives a significant annual contribution to the Democratic Party.
The tragedy of this portrait is not that investment banking corrupts young souls (although one could argue otherwise), but rather that the students who abandon politics out of a naive self-consciousness often represent our country’s most idealistic minds.
Bob Rubin spent 26 years at Goldman Sachs, and he was one of the best treasury secretaries of the last 50 years. George Soros made billions as a currency speculator, and his large donations to left-wing organizations like MoveOn.org the Center for American Progress have raised a great deal of public awareness about progressive ideas and causes.
Look, Mike, I just shot down your argument! And what’s more, I did it by using examples of nonfictional people!
Stewart’s daily dose of political parody characterized by asinine alliteration leads to a ”holier than art thou” attitude toward our national leaders. People who possess the wit, intelligence, and self-awareness of viewers of ”The Daily Show” would never choose to enter the political fray full of ”buffoons and idiots.” Content to remain perched atop their Olympian ivory towers, these bright leaders head straight for the private sector.
And once again, Michael offers zero evidence to back up this claim.
If I had to guess why young people are more likely to work as investment bankers than policy wonks, I’d say that it’s because there’s a lot more money to be made in financial services than in politics. The average salary of a Congressional staffer is about $46,000 a year, while the average starting salary of an investment banker is $134,000. That’s a pretty big difference, and I think it’s a significant part of why so few people choose political careers right out of college. Again, I’m just guessing here, but I think my explanation makes a lot more sense than saying young people are avoiding political careers because they’re afraid of being ridiculed by Ed Helms.
Observers since the days of de Tocqueville have often remarked about America’s unique dissociation between politicians and citizens of ”outstanding character.” Unfortunately, the rise of mass media and the domination of television news give Stewart’s Menckenesque voice a much more powerful influence than critics in previous generations. As a result, a bright leader who may have become the Theodore Roosevelt or Woodrow Wilson of today instead perceives politics as a supply of sophisticated entertainment, rather than a powerful source of social change.
Most important, this disturbing cultural phenomenon overwhelmingly affects potential leaders of the Democratic Party.
Evidence, Mike. Please, please, please provide some evidence. So far, your whole article consists of sweeping statements based on stories about people you made up.
The type of folksy solemnity brandished by President Bush does not resonate with ”The Daily Show” demographic.
And that’s a bad thing, why? This just shows that Daily Show viewers have very basic critical thinking skills, which is about all that you need to see through Bush’s phony “brush-clearin’, sleeves-rolled-up man of the people” routine. George W. Bush is a spoiled rich kid who messed up just about every opportunity that was handed to him (alas, the one area where he succeeded was running for political office). If his father hadn’t continually bailed his sorry ass out, he’d be living on the street and tossing salads for drugs. Anyone possessing more than three ganglions knows this.
According to a survey by the Pew Research Center, only 2 percent of the show’s audience identify themselves as conservatives.
Holy crap, he just used a fact! But unfortunately, he completely mangled its significance.
I’m going to assume that this is the Pew Study that Mr. Kalin is talking about. The data actually show that only 2% of conservatives who are seeking news that conforms to their particular point of view watch the Daily Show. Meanwhile, the percentage of self-identified liberals who watch the Daily Show because it conforms to their ideology stands at a whopping 14%. That’s admittedly a lot higher a percentage than conservatives, but it’s still a tiny minority. Also, note that the Daily Show is only watched by 3% of Americans overall. To say that the Daily Show is a major reason for the decline of serious progressive thought is an exaggeration at best. At worst, it’s a fucking stupid argument.
Although Stewart’s comedic shticks may thus earn him some laughs Sunday at the Oscars, his routine will certainly not match the impact of his greatest irony: Jon Stewart undermines any remaining earnestness that liberals in America might still possess.
As we say around here, Mr. Kalin, “Sadly, No!” What undermines liberal politics more than anything else is left-wingers who don’t know how to craft proper arguments, who can’t properly interpret data, and who offer little or no evidence to back up their claims.
*OK, to be fair, it’s probably the most poorly-argued editorial not written by Jeff Jacoby, whom I’m convinced the Globe’s liberal editors hired just to make all conservatives look stupid.
Whew, now I don’t have to explode! In addition to the “but he’s fictional! You can’t use a peson you made up as proof!”-related gibbering, I was gibbering about correlation and causation all morning, and how even if correlation DID equal causation a show that premiered in 1996 doesn’t even correlate with the past two+ centuries of “why are there no good people in politics?” hand-wringing. Thanks, Brad! I thank you, and my non-sploded head thanks you!
I’ve read half of this so far and I have to stop and ask one question:
Does this Mike guy realize he is critiquing a FAKE news program?
You should totally send this to the Boston Globe as a letter.
The tragedy of this portrait is not that investment banking corrupts young souls (although one could argue otherwise), but rather that the students who abandon politics out of a naive self-consciousness often represent our country’s most idealistic minds.
No, the real tragedy of this portrait is that Michael Kalin, who apparently thinks that a made-up person can be used to demonstrate some sort of real-life point as long as he claims the made-up person is “typical,” received a degree from one of the most prestigious institutions of higher learning in the world.
I’m going to write to them and tell them that they will never see a penny of my alumni money until they revoke Michael Kalin’s degree. OK, they haven’t seen a penny of my alumni money yet anyway, but I think the threat is credible anyway.
Does this Mike guy realize he is critiquing a FAKE news program?
I can’t believe this guy graduated from Harvard without learning to make a proper argument. Were I the sort of person to make sweeping, unsupported accusations, I’d say he’s directly responsible for the decline of serious progressive thought.
You should totally send this to the Boston Globe as a letter.
I should, though I’d have to clean up the profanity and the bits about Bush tossing salads on the street.
I should, though I’d have to clean up the profanity and the bits about Bush tossing salads on the street.
At this point, the latter might not even be a deal-breaker…
What the holy fucking hell was that “Joshua Goldberg” stuff? I’m going to take it up with a fictional composite of the typical apostle of Harvard University, Biff Prescott, as soon as he gets back from the ascot shop.
I’m going to take it up with a fictional composite of the typical apostle of Harvard University, Biff Prescott, as soon as he gets back from the ascot shop.
I know. I’m surprised “Josh” grew up in Newton and went to Vassar, instead of growing up in Brookline and going to Brandeis.
He named the guy “Goldberg”… Jesus, why not just call him Jewey Mcjewinstein.
He named the guy “Goldberg”… Jesus, why not just call him Jewey Mcjewinstein.
Funny story-
A friend of mine discovered this deal where if you wrote an essay about your Jewish heritage and could get your rabbi to write you a letter of recommendation, you could win a free trip to Israel. The problem was, my friend wasn’t Jewish, so he forged this letter from a “Rabbi Ari Goldstein” about how devout a Jew he was. He actually won the trip, though everyone knew he was a goyish the minute they set eyes upon him.
“Stewart’s daily dose of political parody characterized by asinine alliteration”. Kalin is clearly auditioning for a Daily Show writing job; he is both asinine and alliterates.
Maybe, gjdodger, and this is his parody of an LTE. It sucks just as much based on that reading as a straight one, though, alas for him.
Anyway, forget the cash differential between Hill staffer and Morgan Stanley. I’m shocked to learn that Jon Stewart invented satire.
Brad, your friend sounds like a hilariously diabolical person. What kind of a guy (not to mention, what kind of a goy) could not only perpetrate the scam but follow it all the way through? He both scares and titillates me, I have to say.I’m going to write to them and tell them that they will never see a penny of my alumni money until they revoke Michael Kalin’s degree.Me, neither! And I didn’t even go to Harvard: THAT’S how serious I am about it!!
Brad, your friend sounds like a hilariously diabolical person. What kind of a guy (not to mention, what kind of a goy) could not only perpetrate the scam but follow it all the way through? He both scares and titillates me, I have to say.
He comments here every now and then under the name “derek j.”
Sorry, this is completely OT, but this guy’s head is truly freakish.
It’s a Pakistani protester of George Bush (funny sign too) who like the forgotten PepBoy, the angry one, Ahmad, who used to threaten the customers.
Anyone think this guy’s head has been Photoshopped or is it just a weird angle?
I wonder if the J stands for “Jewinstein”? (see Timmah420 above.)
Trying to link again:
Does this work?
If not, his Giant “Big Satan Bush” Head is photo on the lead Yahoo Story
news.yahoo.com/fc/US/Bush_Administration/
Sorry about the head. It doesn’t matter.
Here’s something on our friend Mike which completely undercuts his very premise.
Check out the lede:
As a Harvard senior, Michael Kalin could have gone for a big money job on Wall Street, but he’s going to a different part of New York.
What a great guy! Of course, he must be the only one. After all, everyone else, like his fake Jewish friend, is ditching on public service, right?
As they say, S, N. From the third and fourth paragraphs:
A top-college graduate teaching in the inner-city?
As CBS News Correspondent Wyatt Andrews reports, it’s not as unusual as you might think.
I’m sure those inner-city teachers are completely different from the armies of naive self-conscious would-be do-gooders who are marching to Merril Lynch because of Jon Stewart.
Whadda douchebag.
Also, he doesn’t say why Stewart isn’t funny.
Stewart’s daily dose of political parody characterized by asinine alliteration…
I guess they don’t teach Harvard grads what “irony” is these days.
Why can’t you work for the private sector AND be politically active. Doesn’t he know the 2 can be done at the same time?
Why can’t you work for the private sector AND be politically active. Doesn’t he know the 2 can be done at the same time?
Yeah it’s a shame that Josh doesn’t donate some of the big bucks he earns to a political party that supports his views.
Jeez, Mike even forgot that he included that in there.
Let me get this straight. Is his argument that because Jon Steward makes fun of politicians for saying and doing dishonest, or plain stupid, things that no ‘good’ people will go into politics?
Shouldn’t we be blaming the dishonest/stupid politicians? His argument is like Bush blaming the press for anti-American sentiment throughout the world for publishing the Abu Ghraib pictures instead of blaming the actual torture…
And prior to Jon Stewart did everyone respect politicians with armies of college grads going into public service?
nothing worse then a bad argument…
If you look close enough at the guy with the giant head, you can see it’s an inadvertent illusion. The heads of the people in front of him to his right and left make his arms seem thinner than they really are, which is what makes his head look so damn gigantic. It’s freaky, but explainable.
As for Michael Kalin, I think he’s angling for a Fox shouting-heads position. He sure has the “say something strident enough and it doesn’t matter that it’s completely inane” part down.
Hey, anybody here ever hear that Creed song “My Own Prison”?
Shouldn’t we be blaming the dishonest/stupid politicians? His argument is like Bush blaming the press for anti-American sentiment throughout the world for publishing the Abu Ghraib pictures instead of blaming the actual torture…
Ditto for people like Jeff that blame the failure of the war on “naysayers” instead of the atrocious planning, poor concept and nonexistant execution (except in the sense of actually executing people of course).
Speaking first hand, John Stewart was one of only two or three people that inspired me to become politically active in the first place. I doubt I’m alone in that.
Just another lie about his audience. Remember when O’Reilley went on the daily show, and said his audience was just a bunch of stoners, then a study came out saying that on average, viewers of that “fake” news show were more intelligent and more abreast of the issues then with shows like O’rielly.
Not to mention the median age for viewership of that crap is somewhere between dead and rotting.
The fact that something like 60%+ of FOX viewers believe Saddam and Osama were in cahoots and they found WMD’s in Iraq pretty much says all that needs to be said about that “journalistic” enterprise.
Sidenote to brad – Did he end up going on the trip? Or did he puss out?
A prank like that deserves to be followed through with. Much like the Scott Stapp:Punked story that got linked to in the last thread.
Goddam Scott Stapp walking around in his underwear listening to his solo CD, high on coke talking about how horny coke makes him. *shudder*
All… “he” needs: is, a leopard-skin! shirt and he’ll – be o-Kaye with… (me).
Based on some of the interviews I’ve seen of Mr. Stewart, his Crossfire appearance, and things he’s said during guest interviews on his show, the man self-idetifies as a concerned American citizen, not with any political party nor ideology. His extemporaneous speach on the first Daily Show afte 9-11 was touching and heartfelt in a way that the photo-opster-in-chief with his bullhorn could not approach. It made me cry.
He’s also one of the funniest guys on the planet and very quick. He was about five minutes into a standup routine at PSU when a couple, who had arrived late took their seats, non- too-subtly in one of the first few rows. Mid sentence, withouth missing a beat, he turned and pointed at them “You two had better have been fucking.” That and he noted feeling the need to get out of the car and milk something while on the drive through miles of nothingness populated with cows between central PA and NYC.
Finally, Jon Stewart reminds us that we don’t have to be full time activist to be concerned participants in our own government.
citizen Moonbat
tossing salads for drugs
Wherein lies the crux of the biscuit.
(Aside to Dan Someone: if you lived in Hollis when Lennon was shot, drop a line to morajokaj at yahoo dot com. Jon sez “don’t miss that premier”>
And people wonder why Liberty U kicks Harvard’s butt at debating. Even Jerry Falwell droids can argue better than that.
for me the biggest tragedy was that his made-up person DIDN’T EVEN SUPPORT HIS ARGUMENT. I mean, come on Michael, for christ’s sake, you are MAKING IT UP, at least make it up in a way that supports your argument.
to wit: Upon graduation in 2004, he accepted a prestigious job as an analyst at Morgan Stanley. Although he no longer follows Washington’s daily political squabbles, Goldberg gives a significant annual contribution to the Democratic Party does not support the assertion that students who abandon politics out of a naive self-consciousness often represent our country’s most idealistic minds.
where is the “naive self consciousness”? where is the “abandonmnet of politics”?
Am I taking crazy pills?
Comedy Central’s 11:00 PM to 12:00 midnight programming is doubly dangerous. Not only does the Daily Show with Jon Stewart discourage liberals from getting involved in politics, but the Colbert Report and its right-wing host rally the conservative base, encouraging it to embrace and act on its gut feelings and its commitment to truthiness.
[Note to Señor Kalin: Satire is a reactive form.]
You’re right, Kathleen. Donating to a political party and petioning the government isn’t exactly “giving up politics”.
Mr. Kalin makes me proud NOT to have gone to Harvard.
I’m a student at Vassar, and they don’t even have fraternities.
[Aside to Theophrastus: I lived in Hollis when Reagan was shot, and I still have a Degrads 45. Should I send that email or not?]
And he mispelled “schtick” and none of the editors caught it.
You’ve all missed the point entirely, and just to prove it let me introduce you to Cindy Sweetslut, a fictional composite of Michael’s girlfriends. After reading Kalin’s op-ed Cindy gave up a career as a pornstar and part-time Morgan Stanley analyst, and now devotes her days to volunteer work with the DLC and her nights to earnestly progressive sex with Mike. Obviously, this is a man to whom we should pay respectful attention.
I’m a fairly intelligent person, and quite well-versed in pedantic logic, and I can’t even begin to understand how this imaginary character’s tragic story of education and employment has anything to do with Jon Stewart. Is this some kind of new art form?
Limbaugh does this all the time. They take an opinion “Stewart isn’t funny” and then try to represent it as fact.
Its like saying “Jennifer Anniston is ugly” and then inventing evidence to try and prove the impossible ie: that an opinion or belief is somehow a fact.
Ed pieces like that in the Boston Globe make me begin to wonder how trustworthy that source is as a source of real news. Honestly, one of the worst argued pieces I have read in a long time. Congrats to this site for arguing back.
Jonathan in Amsterdam
Shorter Michael Kalin: Jew Jew Jew Jew Jewey Jew Jew.
I think not. Let me explain.
Two of the most ominous sentences a wingnut can utter.
What’s sad is that I don’t think he’s trying to be wingnutty about it. He’s trying to say that there’s a difference between approaching politics with cynical detachment (and maybe a feel-good contribution check now and again) and doing it with boots-on-the-ground activism. In other words, your standard “Why is it that everyone is apathetic but me?” complaint. But I still don’t get why it has anything to do with Jews.
Colbert is even funnier than Jon, he does O’rielly better than O’rielley does.
Truly some great satire on that show.
Funny this Kalin guy should appear just as Andrew Longman dropped off the radar.
So the Globe fires Mike Barnicle (thank goodness) for using fictional people in his columns to back up his arguments and then publish this idiot’s fiction?
I think that is the real cause of the undermining of ‘any remaining earnestness that liberals in America might still possess […about the Globe and other major newspapers whose editorial pages bear increasing distance from reality].’
And my composite political activist, Annie Fannie, agrees! So there!
Is Joshua Goldberg also known as “Yeasty Diaperload”?
Did anyone else think of that neoconservative Jonah Goldberg of the NRO when he used the name Josh Goldberg?
I think that’s who Dr. BLT was alluding to, jimmy.
Ascot shop made me laugh.
Do that again.
“folksy solemnity”!!!!!!
That is just too damn funny.
And here I always thought he was an empty-headed, verbally challenged simpleton mouthing empty platitudes and vague generalizations.
Are we, the readers, convinced that you have unfairly picked an easy target in Mr. Kalin because he is just another boob turned out by that plutocrat factory, Harvard? I think not. Let me explain.
Meet Benedict Notloyal, a fictional composite of the typical apostle of “Sadly, No.” Born in a commune in Oregon, Notloyal was commisar of his agricultural collective. His natural bomb-making skills and hatred of freedom gained him a fellowship with the Taliban, where he specialized in pre-emptive pork product detection.
Throughout this valuable educational experience, Notloyal stayed up-to-date on national politics through nightly coverage on “Al Jazeera”, and later began to religiously follow “Sadly, No”. He recently led the national movement to oppress Christians known as “The War on Christmas”.
Many die-hard supporters of “Sadly, No!” might use the above persona as proof that the diminutive marsupial known as the Tasmanian Devil is extremely dangerous when cornered. And right they would be! So watch out next time you are in Tasmania.
I am proving Kalin wrong.
I love the Daily Show and Colbert Report and I am running for the state legislature (second-youngest in the state at 22).
The perspective of the jaded outsider that Stewart presents and Colbert’s satirical, over-the-top insider are refreshing and keep me focused on what’s really important.
well, nathan beat me to it, but i went to vassar 15 years ago, and THERE ARE NO FUCKING FRATS THERE!
factless no talent ass clown.
To: Comrade Woody
That was effin’ brilliant, and…
[growl]
Yikes! A Tasmanian Devil! I… no, wait. Phew. It’s only a chuplacabra. Anyway…
[snarl! slash! chomp! sluuuuurrrp!]
Aiiieeeeeee!!!!
it’s an op ed…it doesn’t have to provide data on an opinion about a comedy show.
give hedge con – that is all that chips is capable of faithful is feature of small opponents: http://www.cbsnews.com/ , faithful is feature of astonishing cards
Those who deny history are exasperating.
There can never be too many cartoons on.
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