Awesome! The ad at the top fo the page is for “Church of Satan” goth singles ads! (Make that “goth” “singles” ads.)

Whatever are the “wingnuts” who think “MTV” is somehow “Satanic” gonna do when they finally discover “BLACK METAL”? (OK, I’ll stop now.)

You know, Cradle of Filth, Gorgoroth, Morbid Angel, Deicide, Vital Remains, Dark Funeral? Bands that are very in-your-face on the Satan-loving, drinking-the-sweet-Christian blood” sort of thing?

Heads’ll be ‘splodin’, I tells ya. Especially when they find out how much of this stuff comes from FLORIDA.

With, those — “parentheses” … It could “only” be… me!

Yay, the return of “The Devil’s Music”! Rollback to the ’50s almost complete. I see the first letter from Old Scratch was to the ACLU — I guess his mailing list is out of date since I, a member of the Board of Directors, never received a copy. ACLU, rock’n’roll…Beelzebub is ‘way down on the old Evil-o-Meter since Stalingrad, Dresden and Hiroshima. Anyway, I await further missives to see if I’m a card-carrying member of all the 21st Century Legions of Hell. (BTW, Mr. Westfall, these aren’t Letters to Satan as your header proclaims. That must refer to the Happy Holiday letters from musicians and civil libertarians to Satan Claus.)

My friend who went to work for the ACLU after we both graduated from law school told me the first thing they made him do was swear an oath to Satan.

… Yet somehow, CS Lewis managed to write the entire Screwtape Letters without using blood-red boldface fonts.

That’s because Mr. Lewis wasn’t batshit insane…

What must Jesus who went to the cross and died for the sins of these very people think as they freely reject his word and his love by offering their own children up on MY ALTER?

Again with the alter? BUY A DICTIONARY. LOOK UP “ALTAR”. But I admit I love the red text with orange quotation marks, it looks hellacious.

tigrismus,

I think we’re getting closer to the perfect wingnut sentence. The one we’ve been working on here and in Moscow off and on for seven years looks something like this:

“Teh Democrat party and teh homosexual lobby are hypocrits for sacraficing decency on the alters of convenience. Morans!”

I “don’t” know about “you”…but my “head” “hurts” from (all the) ellipsis, parenthesis and “quotation” marks.

the change in colors is odd, “too”.

OK, Google Ads must have a good sense for irony. On Westfall’s homepage, I see ads for “union member discounts” and “celtic wedding candles” advertised as gay-friendly!

Hey, that’s not bad. I suggest you throw in an “objectively” in there somewhere. Keep the quote marks, of course.

Actually, rereading it and comparing it to Westfall, yours is still too coherent to be a convincing counterfeit. Way too coherent. Maybe drop an anvil on your noggin and try again?

I hate it when people clutter my alter.

Well, once you are done with the alter, you can increase the intensity of the “course talk” in music videos….

If you read the whole thing out loud, in either the voice Mike Meyers uses when he talks about “E-vil, as in the Fru-its of the Dev-il” in “So I Married an Axe Murderer” or the voice of Hecubus from “Kids in the Hall”, it makes much more sense.

Well at least he knows that he will be in hell forever!

Where do you find these people?

By…Michael Westfall

What a delightfully whimsical punctuation scheme.

You know, poking around this guy’s inter nets, I think you’ve struck an ore. I dare say this fella puts the alter into nut.

The “first letter” is even worse. Lowlights, unedited:

Thank you for partnering with me to reduce America’s culture to a pile of rubble? As so many of my enemies have already stated, you have done this by fighting to legalize child pornography, homosexual marriage, prostitution, sex between adults and children, remove “under God� from the pledge of allegiance and the motto “in God We Trust� from our money. You are passionate for me and you are quickly slicing all semblances of decency in America. You are justified and wonderful “in my deep red eyes.�
…
Your lethal efforts in removing prayer from the lips and hearts of America’s impressionable children in their schools and public events and your powerful work towards physician assisted suicide is exemplary.
…
It warms my pitchfork the way you have defended the North American Man Boy Love Association, NAMBLA, which promotes the rape of America’s young children under the guise of free _expression.
…
ACLU comrades and disciples let us not stop here but rather intensify and continue nicking away in huge cancerous chunks the decency left in America. When we finally topple foolish and sleeping America, the rest of the world will fall like brainless dominos.

Let me just say, as someone who has been to Hell and back (several times), I fucking hate people who ghostwrite for Satan.

I don’t totally have country music, “yet” . . . At one time country music meant mom, home and apple pie.
Don’t forget about shooting that man in Reno, just to watch him die!

What’s sad is that if you look at his websites, he was once a leading UAW dissident in Flint, a real radical of the labor movement. What the f*%$ happened?!?

Evil Fruit?

Oh my that is some excellent wingnut.

But the music industry is run by Satan, right?

What’s sad is that if you look at his websites, he was once a leading UAW dissident in Flint, a real radical of the labor movement. What the f*%$ happened?!?

I believe that is generally known as the “What’s the Matter With Kansas?” dilemma.

Did you guys look at some of the links he had at his homepage? Creepy, esp. this one:

Woman Arrested For Infringing Upon Abortuary Guild Craft, about some poor woman who shot herself in the stomach in an attempt to end her pregnancy. Hatred drips from every word.

What’s sad is that if you look at his websites, he was once a leading UAW dissident in Flint, a real radical of the labor movement. What the f*%$ happened?!?

…Because by somepoint, you become so radical that you lose your grip on reality, and what you are radical about loses any real world importance and instead exists merely to give the crazy a reason to continue existing? Thus, you might shift your allegence to something that will recieve more attention and provide a visible position of power for oneself. (see: Horowitz, David).

Tipper? Is that you?

But the music industry is run by Satan, right?

It’s been a while since I’ve seen “Phantom Of The Paradise”, so I think a viewing is about due. The truth about the devil and the music industry has been documented.

That was scary as hell. The winger may have a point about Satan taking over the U.S. music industry. James Blunt did just debut here at #1 on the Billboard Chart.

At the risk of sullying the fun, this is just the website of some crazy old guy who has a website. If he had a Renew America slot, or his own domain that people actually linked to, there would be a bit more relevance. This is like making fun of emo myspace users, except that this guy is a winger and probably doesn’t cut himself.

That Satan sure is verbose.

I also have a growing number of ethically impaired male country singers. They put out contrived images in their staged videos that they are out of control macho men and party animals that can out-drink and whip anyone in the bar.

Oh no, Toby Keith too? But surely not him of the “we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way” and “send ’em all to their maker and he’ll settle ’em down” fame! He was a poster boy for issue everyday families face. If Satan got to him, we are all DOOOOOOMED!

This formula of music was simple and filled with family values, nostalgia and the issues that everyday families face…

…like, you know, D.I.V.O.R.C.E. or the guy “wishing to Lord I was stoned”.

“…this is just the website of some crazy old guy who has a website.”

Hey, the fish in that barrel had it coming. I think one of them had a knife.

Lucifer’s a lightweight. This guy is a hard core wacko.

Oh. My. Sweet. AntiChrist.

“Throughout history “important literature� has always been framed and expressed as a reflection of mans thoughts relative to the issues he faces.

Literature written by those of an era who were actively involved in the issues of those times. Penned by those who felt the emotions and had the ability to embrace the results of their collective knowledge and articulate the deeper conveyance of that meaning to paper.� …Michael Westfall

Wow. Satan really, really needs an editor.

I’d agree on the “just some random loser with a website” thing if it weren’t for the fact that the people in power seem to actually agree with him.
When the nutjob’s agenda has the possibility of becoming the law of the land, I think the nutjob needs to be taunted.

Man, that’s wacky. I love this guy’s idea that country music was once pure and wholesome. Jimmie Rodgers sang of murders of passion and shooting cops. Hank Williams drank himself and screwed anything that moved. Willie Nelson sang about murder. Tanya Tucker’s “Blood Red And Going Down” has a line in it about a jealous husband leaving his cheating wife “soaking up the sawdust on the floor”. Mel Tillis has a song called “I Got The Hoss (She’s Got The Saddle)” and it’s exactly what you think it’s about. Both Conway Twitty and Gene Watson had number-one hits about deflowering virgins. June Carter’s ex-husband Carl Smith sang “The Lord Knows I’m Drinking” and George Jones sang the Greatest Country Song Of All Time (Possibly The Greatest Song of All Time) “He Stopped Loving Her Today” which is about suicide.

Just about the only time country music’s been actually bland and inoffensive was the mid ’90s boom, which is thankfully levelling out. Still…this guy must’ve been listening to something else before 1993 or so, cause he sure wasn’t listening to country music.

Mmmmmm…. Forbidden doughnut….

“The winger may have a point about Satan taking over the U.S. music industry. James Blunt did just debut here at #1 on the Billboard Chart. ”

KILLER FACT
James Blunt is the first UK and US #1-selling artist to have spent the night with a dead female member of the British royal family.

Speaking of country music and suicide, did anyone ever see this study that linked the two?
Also, “warms my pitchfork”??!?! Lame…

Westfall’s writing letters from Satan. But he’s entitled this series “Letters TO Satan.”
He’s as dumb as a bucket of hair.

and George Jones sang the Greatest Country Song Of All Time (Possibly The Greatest Song of All Time) “He Stopped Loving Her Today” which is about suicide.

True that- that and Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven” are the only two songs on Earth that have managed to make me cry openly. I’m willing to admit it; but provoking such a powerful emotional reaction means they’re doing something right.

Tanya Tucker’s “Blood Red And Going Down” has a line in it about a jealous husband leaving his cheating wife “soaking up the sawdust on the floor”.

See also: “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” by Kenny Rogers.

What a foolish wolfpack of profane jokers you all are!
Where did you people find each other?
You are atheistic,pro-homosexual, anti-family and you don’t give a hoot about our culture or our kids.
I am sure Westfall and his many colleagues laugh at , pity and yet still pray for you.
You are going to look back at your stupidity one day and wish you had listened.

Joyce

Joyce,
You are wasting your time with these airheads. They are….. ZERO’S!
The best they have is this stupid European based blog where they give their dumb vulgar one one liners attemting to impress one another.
Look at their comments. They are just immoral, mentally challenged morons who target conservative sites and organizations that will not promote homosexuality and abortion as Biblically accepted issues.

Jerry R.

What a foolish wolfpack of profane jokers you all are!
Where did you people find each other?
You are atheistic,pro-homosexual, anti-family and you don’t give a hoot about our culture or our kids.
I am sure Westfall and his many colleagues laugh at , pity and yet still pray for you.
You are going to look back at your stupidity one day and wish you had listened.

Don

Don, I agree with you about these pathetic degenerates and their atheistic attacks on anything related to the Bible. If people like us are fools for Christ, then whose fools are they?
Life is but a vapor and they are going to answer for their stupidity at the thrown of judgement.
Tony

You named this site correctly when you call it sadly no.
You are a group of sad losers. You stand for nothing as you attack those who take stands for our culture which you would like to bring down.
You will never win attacking people like Westfall because it exposes you all for the foolish losers you are.
George G.

You use adolescent one-liners because you can’t put two sentences together or begin to keep up with Westfall’s intelligence. Westfall’s site is one of the most followed and quoted sites on the web because of his smartly written papers. Your negative and degenerate site, which is dead, is a clear example of stupidity taking on genious….and losing.
What a group of brainless losers you and your followers are. You are not in Westfall’s league.

Carol…

Don’t the idiots that do this stupid site know that Westfall’s letter was a Parody letter. They are imbecilic, brainless and don’t even know what a parody letter is.