OMG-Fred Phelps’ head gonna ‘splode!

Doesn’t Fred think the Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon anyway? This will just cement his views that the evil boy-buggering sodomites support gays because homosexuality and pedophilia are the same thing.

And now, I must go have a great deal of caffeine, because even trying to think like Phelps has left me with a migraine.

Remember to duck and cover lads- even if they probably won’t be excommunicated or anything, you know they won’t be let near anything resembling a teaching position.

Sorry ’bout the migraine D.Sidhe-as a former sufferer I know what that’s like.

You’ve proven my point, however. Fred will see this as the ultimate “I TOLD YOU SO!” moment, and by God he’s gonna milk it for everything it’s worth.

Actually, watching his head literally explode would be a lot more fun…

Well, not in close proximity, but on the tee-vee, certainly.

Well, I’ll be tabernac’d

I would be willing to wipe Phelps goo and germs off my jacket in order to watch his head explode.
Though if it was on TV, I could record it and have it to cherish forever.

if Phelps’ head exploded, i’d think about picketing his funeral. and then i’d decide he’s not worth it.

“In these matters,” the letter says, “the official teaching of the church has shown itself more than once to be wrong.”
This reminds me of recent events where people have come out and that the Bush admin has fucked the dog on the Iraq thing, I know it’s true, you know it, anyone with eyes and a brain knows it, but still some people get offended when you bring it up, as if talking about how wrong they are and were makes it worse somehow.

Wonder what those 19 are giving up for Lent?

Catholicism, gays, and French Canadians? Bill Donohue hasn’t been this hard since The Passion of the Christ.

On the glorious day when Phelps does kick the bucket, there should definitely be a picket of his funeral. I’m in, who’s coming?

Not me, no one deserves that kind of disrespect, least of all his poor family, who’ve had to live with his unchecked bigotry their entire lives. I doubt Phelps even realizes that’s who he’s hurting when he pickets a funeral.

Last thing they need to see is someone else engaging in that sort of hateful nonsense. That’s the kind of shit that’ll land you in hell, not butt sex.

“I doubt Phelps even realizes that’s who he’s hurting when he pickets a funeral.”

Since most of the people who show up with Phelps ARE his family…I suspect they really don’t hurt much.

They want to piss everyone off so that somebody will attack them…leading to a nice lawsuit and money for Phelps.

Phelps – “He hit me!”

Judge- “You called him a filthy sodomite and claimed his brother died because God hates him…what did you expect asshat.”

In an effort to combat that bit of rationality by the clergy, the Archdiocise (sp?) of Arizona has come out in favor of Arizona’s Hate on the Gays referendum.

Since most of the people who show up with Phelps ARE his family…I suspect they really don’t hurt much.
I was actually talking about the victim’s family in that sentence, but I see what you mean.
I just have trouble believing that his family would be picketing funerals were it not for his malignant influence.

Absolutely agreed, Timmah. But at this point, I don’t know if most of them are capable of changing. His kids that are still with him seem pretty much screwed up for life.
I think picketing would solidify their hatred, but I don’t think taking flowers to his funeral would make a dent in their hate, either.

For Phelps’ funeral, I think the only appropriate thing would be to build a quickie baboon “mountain” exhibit within poo-flinging distance of the grave. The baboons would be fed an ample quantity of raisin-bran muffins the day before the funeral, to ensure that there’d be something to fling. The exhibit would be populated with an exceedingly large baboon troupe, at least 80-100 animals. Hopefully, aside from the poo-flinging, many of the baboons would masturbate during the funeral. At the midpoint of the funeral, drawbridges would descend, allowing the baboons to escape and attack the funeral goers. I thought about giving the baboons little protest signs that say stuff like, “God hates Fred” and “Darwin was right,” but they probably wouldn’t hold ’em up.

Marq: I agree to this plan on the condition that we first shoot the baboons up with PCP.

Wouldn’t bonobos be better? I mean, we know all about those perverts. And just hang the signs around their necks.
See? Problem solved.

Oh yes. Totally OT:
celticgirl, what’s up with the *former* migraine sufferer thing? Have you discovered a cure? Can I try it? Does it involve self-trepanation? Not that that would be a deal-breaker.

D.Sidhe: I was afraid you were going to ask that, and you’re not going to like the answer (brace yourself)- hormones.

Yep, I had a doc tell me that as soon as I had a kid it would change my hormonal profile and the headaches would likely stop. Well, F**k that, said I (being around 20 at the time and not remotely ready for kidz). Mind you, I had suffered from classic migraines (aura preceding onset, light/sound sensitivity, 24-48 hour duration, puking- the works) since I was something like 11 years old, so we’re talking a number of years here. My grandmother also had them, so I suspect it was genetic.

Anyhoo, long story short (or long as the case may be)- when I did eventually have the kid at age 26, the migraines stopped. Just like the doctor said (pissed me off too, because I really hated him being right about that).

So, I don’t think my solution will work for you. While I have had numerous other health problems over the years (fibromyalgia – now THERE’S some fun for ya), I never had any more migraine headaches after the birth of my first child. And glad to never have to go through that hell again. I feel for you kiddo.

celticgirl: You’re right, that’s not gonna work for me.
I’m glad it worked for you, even if it does mean your smug doctor was right. (I always hate that.)

I’ve discovered that having bits of me surgically removed seems to help, though, possibly only because they seem to like to do it while stuffing me to the gills with morphine. It seems to break up the cycles. I’m making a list of organs I can do without, now. I still have that appendix, after all.

Actually, I have a new neurologist, so it might get better. She’s got a bunch of new ideas, and she didn’t even ask me if I’d tried aspirin yet!
Consider me greatly encouraged.

Sidhe, nanoons are more vicious than bonobos, and thus, more likely to bite the extended Phelps klan when set loose, though I like Timmah420’s idea to dose them with PCP first. We can put it in the raisin-bran muffins, thus insuring that they’ll be totally apeshit.

Jeeze–“nanoons!” Baboons. Sheesh, I’m not that blind, yet.

It gave me a happy moment, Marq, imagining a cage full of tiny hopped up Crazy Dolphin Ladies screaming incoherent things about Reagan and gleefully abusing themselves as some minister performs the rituals to make sure Mr Phelps stays buried.

I think we should also be throwing about 6 different kinds of erectile difficulty medication into the cocktail.
*evil laugh*

Aah, hell–nuke the funeral from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
And, jeepers, I didn’t even see what my typo could imply. Terrifying! That halfway makes me want to join Shrub in his stupid “Science is scary–let’s ban it!” stance*.

*OK, not so much.

And, Timmah, yes, good suggestion. In fact, the only way to improve it would be to add a well-Cialised Scott Stapp to the baboon troupe, and put a lot of crystal meth in the bran muffins, too. As Milk & Cheese often say, “Everybody, get drunk and RIOT!”