Two-Minute Townhall
Shorter Michelle Malkin: Government-backed union thugs with their tactically violent hate criming respond only to a show of force.
Shorter Tony Blankley: I have begun to grow, urp, concerned about the president’s exit plan from Afghanistan, or his, oof, lack thereof.
Shorter Austin Bay: Surfing the Internet is like riding the wave of the future!
Shorter Walter Williams: Pandering to black people won’t help them as much as yelling at them.
Shorter Dick Morris and Eileen McGann: Here are some poll numbers to suggest the imminent defeat of Barack Obama and his party’s socialist agenda.
Shorter Michael Gerson: Comparing your opponents to Nazis is not nice and also trivializes the horrors of the Holocaust, but I believe it was a liberal who started this practice.
Shorter Carrie Schwab Pomerantz: Should you buy long-term care insurance? It’s always wise to consider things well in advance. Best of luck.
Shorter Jacob Sullum: One cannot prove that the stimulus package didn’t work, but one cannot also prove that the stimulus package didn’t not work, either.
Shorter David Harsanyi: Democrats have filibuster-proof congressional majorities and a popular president in the White House, so how can they complain that their message is being drowned out by misinformed mobs? The liberal media, that’s how!
Shorter Terry Jeffrey: “I have read the entire bill. It was great. It was much better than ‘Cats.’ I’m going to read it again and again.”
Shorter Jonah Goldberg: I would spare no expense to provide needed health care for my dog, but I’m too sleepy to offer an argument today against the creation of a tax-consuming bureaucracy that would provide basic care for people. Maybe some other time.
Shorter John Stossel: It is the Democrats who are tools of big corporations, because their health care reform will only create more customers for health insurance and pharmaceutical companies. Give me a break.
Shorter Ben Shapiro: Whenever he’s confronted with criticism on some subject or another, Obama casts a figurative spell over the populace by changing the subject to his skin color, Bush-bashing, or personally insulting white people.
Shorter Kathleen Parker: Sarah Palin was irresponsible to suggest death panels would kill her disabled child and elderly parents, but one might reasonably assume Congress would order your death unless they specifically promise they won’t.
Shorter Jillian Bandes: The radical left has devised yet another fiendish plan to silence our national, corporate-sponsored conservative propaganda broadcasts with diverse, locally produced public-affairs programming.
Shorter John Stossel wins.
Surfing the Internet is like riding the wave of the future!
Thanks for pointing that out, Mr. 1995.
Shorter all of them: They’re coming to take me away, ha-ha, ho-ho, hee-hee…
Michael Gerson’s piece is amusing. Apparently calling people Nazis started with Gore Vidal. Missing from his post, any awareness of the irony in threatening physical violence to shut up the person calling you a Nazi.
Actually, Shorter John Stossel is, um… correct. How did that happen? I guess quality control over there isn’t what it used to be.
I guess quality control over there isn’t what it used to be.
I dunno. The Stossel piece also has this wingnutty incoherent line:
Yeah, it’s Travis G! And yeah, there’s a Stossel in Townhall roundup. Will the Salma Hayek fan club make a showing?
The public option would have no bottom line to worry about and therefore could engage in “predatory pricing” against the private insurers.
Which is bad for consumers….how, Oh Mr Consumer Protector Of Things?
Good morning, liberals.
Sooo….how’s that health care bill coming along? Ahahahaha! Tools.
Will the Salma Hayek fan club make a showing?
And why do they keep claiming she’s Austrian?
What about Debbie Schlussel? Come on guys, you know I can’t go to that awful place alone without feeling violently ill.
Or Geller? Bachmann, anyone?
Though Stossel may be crazy, he is basically correct here. The insurance corporations and the pharma lobby are both backing Obama’s proposals. Unfortunately, the democrats are making it easy for the republicans to paint them as representing big business against middle America because that is what the democrats are doing.
Yeah, it’s Travis G! And yeah, there’s a Stossel in Townhall roundup. Will the Salma Hayek fan club make a showing?
I shan’t dignify that insult with a response. Another thing on my shanting list? Being back.
From Pantload’s splort:
“Talk about health-care reform to Cosmo and he’ll tilt his head, yawn and walk away just as quickly as he would if you opted to discuss the assassination of Trotsky or the defenestration of Prague. But if you say the words “tennis ball” or “squirrel,” he will be utterly fascinated.”
Cosmo is his dog. And the only living entity that will voluntarily listen to Jonah.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 12, 2009 at 15:17
“Michael Gerson’s piece is amusing. Apparently calling people Nazis started with Gore Vidal.”
Calling people Nazis started with Hitler. “Look out!” bystander says, Godwin throws brick, I duck., he misses.
So does Jonah occasionally burst out with “Squirrel” while he’s sitting there typing, just to see what his dog does?
Actually, when Jonah bursts out ‘Squirrel!’ to Cosmo, Cosmo goes for his nuts.
I particularly enjoy reading those sites which complain about being compared to Nazis and glancing leftwards at the rather pretty blond in the “I’d rather be waterboarding” T-shirt.
But then irony has always warmed the old cockles…