I can’t help but think that picking essays from renewamerica.us as fodder for sadlyno is kind of a cheap shop. I mean, you always know they’re going to say something over-the-top mockworthy.

The controversy about the yet unseen doctor signed long form of Barack Obama’s birth certificate

Yeah, the birthers are really only interested in who the fucking OB/GYN was. They’re AMA-purity trolls.

The star of the film The Gods Must Be Crazy died in 2003 after returning from a brief stint as an actor to his life on the dry plains as a herdsman.

Ah-ha!! did he also serve a term as Chicago comptroller? That explains it!

He brandished an almost constant but compelling smile that made it seem easier to deal with the fact that practically no one on earth except other Bushmen could understand his Kalahari language which consists of clicks and pops rather than voweletic sounds.

Oh, and I have to give Bresciani double props for the racism and xenophobia here. Klassy!

Here’s a list of documents not seen by anyone except those who are holding them:

Long form birth certificate
Passport files
Harvard Law School records
University of Chicago records of scholarly articles
Columbia University records and senior thesis
Occidental College records
Punahou School records, fifth grade thru high school
Noelani Elementary School records
Files and schedules for years as Illinois state senator
Client list while practicing law with Davis, Miner, Barnhill and Gallard law firm
Adoption records
Obama /Dunham marriage license
Soetoro/Dunham marriage license

Can someone please tell me how many Presidents have made public their parents’ marriage licenses? Or elementary school records?

For that matter, can someone please provide me links for all of George Bush’s records that mirror the list above? Or Sarah Palin’s?

Fuck. I couldn’t provide most of that list at gunpoint.

Ah yes, Alan Keyes – the lowbrow version of Morton Downey Jr.

ZOMG! You mean Ernie is BLACK?!?

PS – Here is where I’ll just leave this.

The controversy about the yet unseen doctor signed long form

Oh, please, can we stop with the slanderous and ridiculous speculation about the authenticity of his birth? How can you people be so crazy as to doubt…..

Oh, wait, you mean you weren’t talking about whether Sarah Palin was really Trig’s mom?

Noelani Elementary School records

Noelani means heavenly mist in Hawaiian. Just like a Coke bottle falling from the sky.

The story begins with the pilot of a small aircraft thoughtlessly throwing a cola bottle out the window of his plane. N!Xau thinks the gods have thrown him a gift from the heavens.

Cocaine!

The reverend’s wits have eloped
He’s reached the end of the rope
I’m going to have to say ‘dope’

Okay, so Obama is both the Coke bottle and the guy who finds the Coke bottle. So who is studly, self-satisfied safari guide Jack Hind? And who is the wildlife biologist, the teacher? So many questions.

It’s #1, right?
After all, Barack Obama is a mighty man, the kinda man you’d never disrespect.*

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTwNYjwbwag

The rhino is the self appointed fire prevention officer. When he sees a fire, he rushes in and stamps it out.

I haven’t seen that movie in years. I remember it being on TV a few times when I was much younger, but not again in the last 20 years or so.

jesus fucking chreeeist. I’m seriously just about fucking done with this shit. People are bringing fucking GUNS to fucking town hall meetings about fucking HEALTHCARE REFORM. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK *banging head against wall againandagainandagain*
For the FIRST time in almost a fucking DECADE we have a thoughtful, intelligent, MODERATE individual in the White House that the rest of the goddamn world isn’t cringing from secondary shame from, who is extricating us from the fuckery that is Iraq, the economy, the sham that is the American Health Care System (add your own oxymoron joke here), rather than invading countries in a coke/jack daniels fueled jesus jerk, and what do these stupid mouth breathing fuckstains do? Why, hate hate hate, of course. Why? Don’t ask why. I’m about as white as a fucking piece of goddamn printing paper, and it’s fucking obvious that it’s not about any of these “issues” at hand. No, friends, it’s about the fucking whitebread fucking inbred GOP card carriers not being able to accept a BLACK MAN in the WHITE HOUSE. Period. The rest is simply a balm for their fevered selves to blanket the true source of their collective batshit crazee angries. The fact that he is doing it right only adds to their angst.

I can’t help but think that picking essays from renewamerica.us as fodder for sadlyno is kind of a cheap shop. I mean, you always know they’re going to say something over-the-top mockworthy.

So they have a reason to exist after all.

Y’know, that whole article is just like a Coke bottle falling from the sky spoon jammed so far up Bresciani’s snout that it tickles his pineal gland.

I sort of feel that, while they are no doubt annoyed that one of … those people is President (wait, I mean “Commander in Chief”), the whole “those people” thing is as much about him being a Democrat as it is about him being part African. I mean, Biden, Gore, Clinton, Emmanuel, and Clinton can also do no right, and they’re all W. Whitey Whitingtons, III, Esq. (Rahm Emmanuel counts because blah blah hey, look over there!)

a remarkable physical likeness

He really wanted to say “they all look alike” but he thought it would be more clever if he did it this way.

He really wanted to say “they all look alike” but he thought it would be more clever if he did it this way.

No, he’s just a pussy. He saw what happened to the people who circulated emails of the White House surrounded by watermelon fields and Obama as a witch doctor.

The only reason Republicans were ever able to even thinly veil their racism under code language such as “welfare queen” and the like is that they were white people talking to other white people – whether supporters or opponents. Now their chief opponent is blackity-black-black…and the dimmer amongst them figure the only way to confront such an enemy is to break out the big guns and go totally unveiled. Subtlety only works when your task is to keep the oppressed opressed. Once one of them breaks through the oppression, it’s Katie bar the door – all bets are off.

i genuinely enjoyed the 90s. i’m so glad they’re back.

Uberruber, I’m with you. Also.

WAIT A MINUTE ERNIE WAS BLACK

OH MY GOD THE BIRTHERS WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG

the whole “those people” thing is as much about him being a Democrat as it is about him being part African.

This is why they consistently try and paint any Democratic candidate first as a queer and then as a colored. With Obama, they just did what came natural.

what uberuber said.

Jesus, doesn’t the US have laws protecting against the fomenting of hatred? These motherfuckers need a law suit.

Doctorb,
although , Biden, Gore, Clinton, Emmanuel, and Clinton can do no right, nothing they would say, given a white democratic president (excuse me-Commander In Chief) could possibly excite the masses (masses bussed in from red states, mind you) to such levels of insane batshit levels of the crazy such as we are seeing currently. When B.Clinton was president, for instance, we had the conspiracy freaks out en masse with ‘teh killed Vince!” etc., as well as (oh, deliciousness!) catching him with his liberal dick out en flagrante, but you NEVER saw the absolute insanity that you see with Obama. Ever. No, this goes muuuuch deeper than simple partisanship.

What the hard-right is ignoring is that it worked in Blazing Saddles.

You can bet if the Terminator was president there’d be no birther movement. (Although he’s probably too liberal for these goons.)

Tyro
I can’t help but think that picking essays from renewamerica.us as fodder for sadlyno is kind of a cheap shop. I mean, you always know they’re going to say something over-the-top mockworthy.

I was thinking that was true of NRO as well. Sometimes I have the nerve to look at the NRO posts that SN has not highlighted and it seems that they don’t always pick the craziest. Andy McCarthy, for example, I feel is seriously under-represented here.

What the hard-right is ignoring is that it worked in Blazing Saddles.

Well, motherfucker needs to invent the candygram right pronto. Mongo is being a royal pain in the ass.

The man is an abomination

Doesn’t he mean …
an OBAMA NATION??!!!

You can bet if the Terminator was president there’d be no birther movement.

Austria? No biggie. He was Conan, dude!

Posting a certificate of live birth on an internet site is not far from throwing a bottle out of an airplane and expecting America to believe that the gods have given us a gift.

The Gods Must Be Crazy III: The Birthering

Plot synopsis: Barack Obama puts his birth certificate into a bottle and throws it out of a plane. The bottle falls to earth and strikes a birther wingnut in the head. The wingnut thinks he has good healthcare, but it’s not as good as he thinks it is, and, after all his family’s savings are exhausted on medical care, he dies from severe head trauma.

The End.

Wow. Just…wow.

I thought the idea that black people all look alike was already such a touchy subject that everyone knew to avoid any hint of suggesting such a thing back in the 70’s. And then it was a funny retro-joke when George Costanza said his boss looked like Sugar Ray Leonard on Seinfeld; the joke being that we were WAAAAAY past anyone not knowing what a mistake that was, yet George was stupid enough to do it. But for some reason, having a black president really does bring out the crazy in people, and all the rules of etiquette fly right out the window.

BTW, Obama really does share a striking resemblance to black Ernie.

Why no, there’s nothing racist about the birther movement at all, why do you ask?

My late uncle had a polaroid of Obama being born and out the window you could see Zanzibar but he left it sitting outside and the sun turned it all yellow and there’s barbecue sauce on it. Now the local lab won’t examine it for me on Acorn’s orders.

Wait. Was that too gleeful?

I wonder how many poor local / state bureaucrats are getting harassed by people asking for an official copy of their birth certificate but then who come back and complain that it isn’t right, they need the long form which only exists in their head vault.

Wait, I’m confused. Isn’t that just the same black guy in all eight pictures?

That first picture of GW Bush smoking pot actually does offend me.

The physical likeness N!Xau shares with Barack Obama is purely coincidental and there are no other shared commonalities between them with the exception of one.

Okay, I’ll bite Reverend. What’s the one “shared commonality” between president Obama and N!Xau?

The cola bottle seemed to fall from the heavens and with no way of identifying the source or origins of the bottle the herdsman concluded that it had to be a gift from the gods.

WTF?! Look, I’ve taken off the investigative reporter hat (medium brimmed fedora with a slight slope to the crown, in a neutral colour with a very low contrast band that has a crisp and bright card poking out with the word “PRESS” emblazoned across it in a severe, serious and sans serif font) so I’m able to understand ideas even without handholding and explicit diagrams (although explicit diagrams would not be unappreciated). But you are comparing Barack Obama to the bottle and not to N!Xau.

Maybe this is a small and unimportant point, but sweet Invisible Pink Unicorn, blessed be she in her undetectable obviousness – may she grind the evil forces that poison the world beneath her righteous hooves. Look Reverend Bresciani – you picked “The Gods Must Be Crazy” to write about, to title your column with. Why? Why did you burn your opening three ‘grafs on the movie? So that you could then demonstrate that you don’t even know what you’re talking about?

And yet throughout your POS column, you keep coming back to the bottle. I appreciate it’s because your momma didn’t breastfeed you, so now you have this unhealthy sexual fetish about bottles. Look I’m not going to judge you because of your weird kink YES I AM but do you have to fucking inflict your IPU hoof-ground perversions on the rest of the world? Get some self-control you jackass, and revel in your sick and perverted fetishes in the privacy of your home and not on the public fucking internets – a place where kinky sexual perversions clearly do not belong.

Oh wait. Ummm. Central to my point!

Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!

It ‘s the guy on the right in panel 4! Did I get it, huh? Did I get it?

.

Ooh, sadly I did not get it.

(sulks in corner, teary-eyed glances, pouty lips)

.

Dragon-King Wangchuck:

What’s the one “shared commonality” between president Obama and N!Xau?

Oooh, ooh, I know this one! They were both presidents, right? N!xau was the guy who resigned in ’73, right? AmIrite?

Darn, wrong again.

(goes back to corner)

.

Michael Bresciani:

The controversy about the yet unseen doctor signed long form of Barack Obama’s birth certificate takes on a more stimulating aspect …

Conservative have the strangest fetishes.

.

MEgan’s made the BIG TIME. Obama has directly addressed this McArdle post.

MEgan says “LOL, When we libertarians say rationing in the context of Health Care, whut we mean is we don’t want no stinky bureaucrat in Warsh-ink-tun to be decidering who gets whut services. Haw haw. LOL!”

Obama says:

[R]ight now insurance companies are rationing care. They are basically telling you what’s covered and what’s not. They’re telling you: ‘We’ll cover this drug, but we won’t cover that drug; you can have this procedure, or, you can’t have that procedure’. So why is it that people would prefer having insurance companies make those decisions, rather than medical experts and doctors figuring out what are good deals for care and providing that information to you as a consumer and your doctor so you can make the decisions?

But, but, TEH INVISIBLE HAND!!!one11!

Oh, and Mr. President – can you close out this comment for me please?

So I just want to be very clear about this. I recognize there is an underlying fear here [being whipped up by stupid or dishonest hacks] that people somehow won’t get the care they need. You will have not only the care you need, but also the care that right now is being denied to you — only if we get health care reform. That’s what we’re fighting for.

so now you have this unhealthy sexual fetish about bottles

And this is the last time I’m going to pull that damned coke bottle out of there for you.

Perhaps the internet is an evil thing after all. The more I read idiots like the Reverend Bresciani, the more I find myself feeling sorry that Kruschev didn’t launch from Cuba when he had the chance……

You can bet if the Terminator was president there’d be no birther movement.

In my more cyncial moods, I think that’s the whole reason this thing has gone on for as it has. The Republicans were aching to eliminate the natural-born requirement when Ahnold looked like he was gonna be Buff Reagan.

After all, Orly Taitz doesn’t live in Nebraska.

“Christian Article Bank”

Oh my, is that going to come in handy. Such treasures awaiting:

•Jihadists at the Hilton: Are Man Made Disasters Next?
•Move over D-Day, Flag Day and Father’s Day – Obama gives June to LBGT •Dominican Republic Nobly Passes Bill to Preserve Life – Lesson for the Whole World

Oh yes indeedy.

Do my eyes decieve me? Is no.4 The Thing With Two Heads? It is? Oh my.

I believe the preferred usage is “elections commissioner.”

Fucking wingnuts are completely losing their shite. But I think that may be a good thing…perhaps they’ll go so completely looney that the rest of the country abandons them completely.

And by them, I mean the “We’re all Kenneth Gladney now” types.

I wonder how many poor local / state bureaucrats are getting harassed by people asking for an official copy of their birth certificate but then who come back and complain that it isn’t right, they need the long form which only exists in their head vault.

well, they want the long form because it has all that other stuff on it, like your SS number, credit information, banking information, school records, etc. That way, they can come to fully know Obama, ok? That’s all they want! Is that so unreasonable???

Move over D-Day, Flag Day and Father’s Day – Obama gives June to LBGT

oh lawdy lawdy the black man done give June over to the GAY and now we have to hide all month oh noes and he hates America too by getting the GHEY all over our D-Day lawdy I won’t even be able to put up mah D-Day tree next year cause someone will think it’s a GAY TREE and he hates marriage taking Father’s Day away and giving it to those people who can’t even get married thank GOD but when Obamabi’s health bill passes it’ll be gay abortions for everyone and you won’t know who’s who cause they’ll be getting free sex changes all over the place and if you refuse to get sex nchange the gummint will take your money out of your bank account and pay for it anyway

I thought he resembled Hitler more.

a Kalahari bushman named only N!Xau

As anyone who spent even two seconds Googling the Dogon tongues (as opposed to Bangi-Me…sorry, I had to throw that in), it’s prounced “*tongueclick* nowbrescianiisaracistpig”

Say, what’s that white dude doing there in the #1 spot?

“The Gods Must Be Crazy” was an alleged comedy where the heroes were white apartheid supporters in South Africa, and the villains were rebels. The “hero” was so primitive that he didn’t know what a Coke bottle was, which was the extremely thin joke on which the entire film rested. Why am I not surprised that this guy would look to it as a primer on race relations?

Dear Rev. Bresciani My Pupil–

How can the writing of you be praised in justice? Possible it’s not possible. Still I can try. The heart beats fast and the mind goes back to remember the great tradition of writings by we clergy. Note all, then, your contribution to our proud continuance. Keep up the good, the Lord’s, the good Lord’s, works and all such!

Yrs in Christ,
Pastor Grant Swank

Gavin?

Are any of those photos of Chief Korir?

which consists of clicks and pops rather than voweletic sounds.

N!xau spoke 3 languages, all of which have vowels. It took me ONE MINUTE to google that you ignorant ass. Of course, the reason I looked it up in the first place is that as far as I know there are NO spoken languages with no vowel sounds- you can’t speak with your vocal tracts always closed.

In general, middle-class children today are more closely supervised at pools because the family can afford to have a non-working parent at home — a luxury that working-class kids rarely have.

That’s right, back in the fifties when Camille was a kid, all the Moms were out working everyday. Stay at home parents are exclusively a recent phenomenon. Therefore the real racists are the negroes. And Obama’s going to kill your granny. And there are no racists on the Cambridge police force. Because Shut Up That’s Why.

Arggghhh, I’ve got wrnog threedle-itis!

Not only does he think a random African looks like Obama, he chose a non-Bantu African. According to the hilariously named Carleton S. Coon, the San (Bushmen) are even a different race from other Africans.

Jesus, doesn’t the US have laws protecting against the fomenting of hatred?

Nope.

#6 is obviously a Photoshop. He looks almost sane.