I don’t even know where to begin.

It’s not easy, man. It’s really, really, really not easy sometimes.

Y’know- by the time labor’s started, yes, absolutly every effort should be made to save both mother and child (though if one unfortunately must see less attention, the mother invariably has a better chance of survival, which is the main criteria, no?).
It’s kind of a straw man to put up a birth-time situation with the first trimester situations being posed earlier (the so-called “reasons” she states, anyway).

Holy…fucking…shit.

Me neither. I’m speechless.

This isn’t a fake article… christ, sorry America, you’re doomed.

I’m always a little amazed at the “getting filthy rich” argument. THAT’S the big problem?! She argues as if the only thing motivating abortion doctors was greed. Yeah, I’m sure that’s why they do what they do. Probably encourage innocent women to abort their babies, too.

Seriously, since when do free-market conservatives object to greed as a motivating factor? Tell me, Kaye, do you have a fundamental problem with other medical professionals who drive Bentleys and smoke big cigars? I’ll bet most, if not all, medical specialties are more lucrative than the abortion industry.

I can’t wait for the next Kaye Grogan column, in which she advocates removing the profit margin from the American medical industry.

Excellent response, Brad; I would have given up.

At least, though, she’s getting to the point — she (and a lot of other “pro-lifers”) do not care if women die. Do. Not. Care.

What makes her life any more valuable than the life of her child?

What makes the child’s life any more valuable than hers? Is it because she’s had SEX and the child hasn’t?

Seriously, since when do free-market conservatives object to greed as a motivating factor?Seriously, since when do free-market conservatives object to greed as a motivating factor?

I can’t wait for the next Kaye Grogan column, in which she advocates removing the profit margin from the American medical industry.

Did you ever read the column where she said that the government should stop regulating the price of milk because she thought that otherwise we could get it for free? Link:

http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/001371.html

Anne- Kaye’s column is just wrong on every conceivable level. There is literally not one fact in the entire piece. If you had an infinite number of monkeys wiping their asses with computer paper, this is what they’d come up with.

Holy shit.

The weirdest weirdness among many there has to be isn’t dying part of living? (er, no, rather definitively not), but it’s run very close by the list of things she considers to be “feeble excuses”.

You guys are being too harsh. That article got me thinking…

And I swear it here: I will stop eating babies.

Tomorrow.

What an appalling waste of oxygen that woman is.

Thanks for the laugh, Brad: “Kaye’s still bitter that rubber cement isn’t covered in the Medicare Prescription Drug Plan.”

To think of the things I would miss if I didn’t read these blogs.

I don’t get her alcohol metaphor. So anti-abortion people=anti-alcohol people, and adopting unwanted children=buy all the alcohol. So alcohol=babies? And pro-life people think that babies are a menace to society, so abortion should be illegal? It would make more sense if she accused pro-choice people of thinking that way, but pro-life? I think she did buy all the alcohol.

Those evil abortionists: “Only 14 more womb-babies to kill and I’ll have enough dough for those baby seal seat covers I’ve wanted for oh so long…”

Good gravy. I sometimes think one of the very main reasons I’m pro-choice is that I’ve yet to come across someone from the “pro-life” camp that wasn’t either a raging hypocrit (particularly when it comes to parsing the concept of life’s “sacredness” and just where it applies – or screaming douchebags. At no point have I ever gotten anything close to the feeling that any one of these dorks give one good goddamn about anything other than their own sense of power.

They really don’t give a shit about the ills of society and the hardships fellow humans have to go through that might bring about the need for something like abortion.

What kills me is the idea that all society needs for everything to be flowers and puppies and gooey candy cane forests forever and ever is for abortion to be illegal, but does anyone – ANYONE – think for a second that abortion will actually disappear then?

Matt — they don’t. They just don’t want it to be sanctioned by the state and made safe by being legal.

Now that our daughter has been born, I would give my life for hers. But I still would never choose an unborn child’s life over my wife’s.

Kaye is seriously sick in the head.

She argues as if the only thing motivating abortion doctors was greed. Yeah, I’m sure that’s why they do what they do. Probably encourage innocent women to abort their babies, too.

Not just “encourage” — why with the profits they make, they can afford to give kickbacks to all those pregnant women! In fact, it’s a huge source of income for poor women, though you won’t ever read or hear about it in the Mainstream Media. And the ACLU is pushing for tax breaks for women who have multiple abortions, did you know that?

And of course those rich abortion doctors have gold-plated pins with which they stick holes in all the condoms at the Qwiki-Mart. Gotta guarantee the income stream!

Is dying part of living? No. Well, maybe it’s the end part. But even that’s debatable.

But dying most certainly is a part of baseball. The main part, in fact . . .

Is she also crying over the gazillions of precious womb babies that miscarried or failed to implant (“God’s abortions”)?

Jus’ wondering.

What kills me is the idea that all society needs for everything to be flowers and puppies and gooey candy cane forests forever and ever is for abortion to be illegal, but does anyone – ANYONE – think for a second that abortion will actually disappear then?

The reality is, they just want abortion to be like in the old days: safe, effective and hidden for the wealthy; deadly and hidden for the poor. Get rid of those welfare queens. You know, the ones who keep having more babies to increase their… oh. Wait a minute. Who are the serial aborters again? And who are the serial spawners? Are these the same women? Now I’m as confused as Kaye.

Well, no–everything wouldn’t be roses and sunshine if abortions were outlawed, ’cause there’d still be TEH GAY!!!!

Which brings to mind George Carlin’s rant about how the most rabid anti-abortionists and the most rabid homophobes tend to be the same people. “Hey! Who has fewer abortions than homosexuals? You’d think these people’d be natural allies!”

S.D. governor says he’s ‘inclined’ to sign abortion ban

State lawmakers voted Friday to ban nearly all abortions in South Dakota and sent the measure to the

To be fair, look at her. She’s obviously a crazy cat lady. And, like other over-the-top cat lovers, “cat” in her mind automatically means “kitten”. I think her problem isn’t with the loss of life, it’s the loss of life while they’re still in their kitten phase. If abortion meant killing unwanted 9 year olds, she wouldn’t give it a thought. Once they’re too old to sell her supposed children’s books to, they’re no longer cute enough to care about.

I don’t get her alcohol metaphor….

HW, Kaye can’t get the hang of commas and quotation marks. OF COURSE she won’t be able to handle a metaphor.

But it’s funny to watch.

Billions of tears for imaginary babies that were never born, but not an iota of concern for people already living on the planet.

Someday people will ask, “What happened to America?” And the answer will be simple. Through their sheer numbers, the stupid people wrested power from the smart people. That’s really America’s tragic, final flaw: too many dumbasses.

I can’t wait for the next Kaye Grogan column, in which she advocates removing the profit margin from the American medical industry.
Awesome point, Dreamweasel. By the way, thanks for lodging that song in my head: “Dreeeeem weasel, I believe something-something through the na-hight!”
If the phrase “Kaye bought all the alcohol” doesn’t become a hot catchphrase like “Cobagz!,” “womb babies,” and “homo nups,” . . . well, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll think of something. Maybe I’ll run amok in a mad runcible-spoon gougefest.This just makes me so bone-annoyed. (If you can be bone-tired, can’t you be bone-annoyed?) Her premise is that doctors get rich performing abortions?? Yes, I’m sure the one beleaguered abortion provider in Wyoming is flaunting his abortion-derived wealth by lighting his cigars with $50 bills and driving around in a Bentley festooned with vanity plates (I-ABORT) and “Kill the Babies” bumper stickers. More like, skulking around depressed because of what he gets all day–desperate women, slings and arrows from his neighbors, and assholes in the media, like Kay, misjudging and slandering him for trying to provide a legal (as of 5:30 CST) medical service.

wow. I didn’t think anything could be stupider than her earlier line about how it was more humane to carry a baby to term and then shoot it in the head after it was born.

but this is worse “It would be heartbreaking to hear of any mother dying during childbirth, but isn’t dying part of living?“. Kaye you have foiled me again.

too bad her 47 million tears didn’t short out her computer.

so I tried to do a little math here. if you assume one tear per second, that is 3600 tears per hour. So Kaye has to have cried for at least 13055 hours. There are 8736 hours in a year. So Kaye has been crying the equivalent of 1 1/2 years, 24/7. I guess that is why she couldn’t see what she looked like in the mirror when that picture was taken.

a Bentley festooned with vanity plates (I-ABORT)

now that’s funny.

“But I can tell you that I have probably cried at least 47 million tears representing each precious baby that has been killed since 1973.”
Because before Roe there were no abortions?

Hmmn. 47 million divided by 23 years . . . 2+ million tears a year divided by 365 days . . . 5600 tears a day . . . that’s alotta tears . . . and that’s some damn fine industrial strength makeup.

Kathleen – I was figurin’ about the same time you was postin’ – no matter how bad my math is, that’s a lotta damn crying.

Kathleen: Two tears a second. Two eyes. It also explains that thing with her mascara.

What makes the child’s life any more valuable than hers?
I’ve always wondered that, Anne.

Abortion doctors: Smart enough to get really rich, too dumb to realize they could be rich as plastic surgeons and *not* have people trying to kill them.

Taken all together, it leaves me sighing, “Oh, Kaye.”

Ooh. I’m having a thought. Wait…it’s turning into an idea, bordering on a plan…

Okay. I will get pregnant, but instead of aborting the fetus (which is usually what I do, along with my friends: we all get pregnant and then go out for our quarterly Girls’ Abortapalooza Weekend o’ Fun) I will carry it to term. But only if, as soon as I give birth, Kaye Grogan kills herself.

Hey. It’s one womb baby for one dead woman. Kaye? That’s a good thing, right?

Well, at least she didn’t blame da Jews…

“This isn’t a fake article… christ, sorry America, you’re doomed.”

It took you HOW LONG to figure this out?!?

Those of us on a non-LSD diet figured it out years ago.

OK, so when I see this:

Well, they could care less right now as they ride around in their Bentley or BMW, smoking fat cigars, wearing expensive designer clothes, and living in their high dollar mansions.

All I can think of is Krusty the Clown in the Simpsons:

Everywhere I go I see teachers driving Ferraris! Research scientists drinking champagne!

What does this woman think Planned Parenthood pays?

I will carry it to term. But only if, as soon as I give birth, Kaye Grogan kills herself.

Oh snap!

Is she wearing the skin of the tiger who attacked Roy?

I realize it’s pointless to apply rules of English grammar to Kayespeak, but…

But I can tell you that I have probably cried at least 47 million tears representing each precious baby that has been killed since 1973.

Technically, this is 47M for each womb baby, which is 47M times 47M…

47M times 47M

2.209 x 10^15 tears — assuming a rate of one per second, about 70 million years of incessant weeping.

70 million years of incessant weeping.

See that’s why she needs more children born – so she’ll be able to outsource at that crying (and considering that she stops giving a flying F once they are born, some will have plenty to cry about.) Unless the crying jobs have been outsourced to Guam while I wasn’t watching.

larkspur, you are my new hero.

Mine too, larkspur.
Though I think a better solution would be for Kaye herself to become the conception-and-incubation baby producer she seems to want to turn other women into.
I’d also ideally like to see her have to go to whatever public health clinic she can find still open after the fundies shut down all the ones in her area because they offered abortion as well as pre-natal and standard pelvic exams.

If dying is a part of living, then why is it bad when babies die? Aren’t the fat cat abortionists just helping them experience a new aspect of life?

Stay the fuck away from my fat cigar Kaye.

Here’s another true, heart-wrenching story for Kaye: the wife of one of my colleagues experienced life-threatening complications during her pregnancy, and was told that aborting her child was necessary to save her life. She and her husband decided that if they had enough faith, that both mother and child would be okay. They weren’t – she died during child birth, and her baby boy only lived a few hours. She left behind seven children under the age of ten. But hey, death is a part of life, so I guess this is actually a happy story, and Kaye doesn’t have to shed any tears for any members of this family.

I’m still curious as to whether Kaye has any children of her own, and if she’s married. I’m too lazy to research any of this, does anybody know?

Are we sure this isn’t some kind of bizarre performance art? Maybe an homage to the cat-tossing lady from “The Simpsons”?

Just to follow-up on the valuable calculations offered by Kathleen and Puginov: according to Cook’s Conversion Table there are approximately five drops in a milliliter, or five thousand in one liter, so 47,000,000 drops is equivalent to 9,400 liters. If Kaye has been saving her precious tears, then, she could probably make a tidy sum selling the holy relics. No wingnut dinner would be complete without breaking out a bottle, and connoisseurs could debate whether (say) Pinot Grogo ’84 went better with beef or with fish, and whether it had a relatively bitter or fruity aftertaste.

If dying is a part of living, then why is it bad when babies die?

Please, please, please someone find a way of putting this question to Grogan in person. And make sure you have at least a mobile phone camera on hand to record the eye-spinning, spurty, head-explody results.

Hmm…my “back of the envelope” calculations show that 47 million tears equals 100,000 gallons of water and 18.6 kilos of salt*. So she must be one dehydrated, electrolyte-challenged lady. But I guess you could tell that by the picture.

*Note – these are not the real numbers. I figured it was truer to a right wing argument if I pulled some numbers out of my ass.

You might as well keep up the snark. It seems pathetic substitue for victory tho’, no? It seems the pro-abortion forces are long on snark, and short on victoy, these days.

What Marq and Eleanor said.

marq –
From Kaye Grogan’s “About Us” blurb at americaspeakstalkradio.com:

“…I am married to my wonderful husband Burton. We have two lovely daughters and five beautiful grandchildren. But I can tell you as a young grandmother, I am not ready for a rocking chair by a long shot!…”

Oh, on behalf of moi: thanks for the comments about my comment. Made me feel good. Yesterday was the anniversary of the event that happened after nine months of my mother failing to abort me! Yay, me!

about 70 million years of incessant weeping.

That’d be as if Kaye were crying continuously since the time of the dinosaurs. If they existed. Which they didn’t.

They already have enough children.

They were raped.

This “she says/we say” bit was great. Real poetry. I liked the “this is my brain on Kaye Grogan” painting too.

She’s obviously a crazy cat lady.

Hey! As a representative of crazy cat ladies everywhere, Kaye Grogan is not one of us. She’s a dog person if I ever saw one.

I’m gonna get knocked up today, just so’s I can get an abortion, Hell, I may even wait 8 months and get a Partial-Birth Abortion. It’ll be a fun “me” day.

larkspur, happy (late) not-aborted-and-carried-to-term day. BTW, everybody, the world’s population just rose over the 6.5 billion point Saturday evening, so I’m not much worried that we really needed those supposed 47 million womb-babies that Kaye is so weepy about.

Ah jeez. That was worse than her other columns by far.

“You know, I was going to post something funny here, but that last sentence temporarily took away my will to live.”

Reminds me of one of my favorite lines from MST3K: “Aside from the fact that I will never again experience joy, I don’t think the movie had any effect on me at all.”

One of my good friends semi-seriously opposed my wife’s and my decision not to have kids on the grounds that we just couldn’t let people like this out-reproduce us. It’s too late now, but I’m beginning to to agree with him.

Those of us on a non-LSD diet figured it out years ago.

I misread this at first. I thought it said a non-LDS diet, as in mormons. So then I was thinking, “Well hell’s bells, they already have their own special undies, now I find out they have their own special diet too!” Ok, so I was wrong, but if the LDS did have a special diet, would it include LSD?

Well, to beleive in the John Smith story? Yes. Yes, LSD is part of their diet.

Oh no, Kaye is a Cat person. Look at the picture behind her. A dog person would have a wolf pictrure. Cat people have tiger prints.

but either way Kaye may be the single stupidest person to ever try to write an article on any subject at any time. Swank is insane, but Kaye is just plain bone stupid. wow.

More than anything, she seems to be another of those “crazy granny” types one encounters. You know, the ones who talk endlessly about the daily miracles their grandchildren pull off, like when they call a cookie a “buppa” or when they make a cute face while filling their diaper. These people have the normal “genetically-wired positive-baby-reaction” cranked up to overload. And frequently the afflicted person is an older woman who (1) can no longer have her own children, and (2) who can only point to her children as the one thing they’ve “done” in their life.

These people are really the core of the The Cult Of The Fetus. It may seem like they prize unborn babies over everything else, but what they’re really prizing is the ability to reproduce. Since reproduction is all they’ve managed to do successfully in their life, ergo it must be the most important and sacred thing in the world. And since they probably failed in some ways as parents, the post-birth child isn’t nearly so important. It all comes down to that magical nine months when they (the pregnant mother) were the center of creation, and not later when the baby became a real person they had to cope with.

I’d cry too if my bangs looked like that.

can I also add that is “dying is a part of life” why does she care so much about the “deaths” of the “aborted babies”? you would think she would be able to blow those off with the ease to which she blows off the deaths of women.

“While abortionists and abortion clinics are getting filthy rich off of the blood of innocent babies, I wonder how many of them have ever pondered what the consequences will be for them later on down the road? Well, they could care less right now as they ride around in their Bentley or BMW, smoking fat cigars, wearing expensive designer clothes, and living in their high dollar mansions.”

Who knew that the Monopoly Man ran abortion clinics?

CHANCE – You pierced her perineal sac! Lose $50.

Triffid Farmer, you amaze me.

You have summed up the entire pro-life argument and boiled it down to something we can contest.

May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you with His noodly appendage.

Thank you, JBL. One should never underestimate the solipsism of a fundamentalist. No matter who (or what) they seem to railing for or against, it’s ultimately all about themselves.

YOU represent the end of humanity.

Liar.

P.S. I am a man with a *heart* and a *brain*.

I just can’t stand the idea of some spoiled little cheerleader spending daddy’s money having multiple abortions one after the other for reasons like: “My boyfriend hates condoms.” and “My mom will make me get a job if she finds out!” and “If I have a baby, I can’t go shopping nearly as much.” Don’t any of you see that some kind of law has to be put in place to keep people like that from using abortion as a means to an end?