Is she going to try to beat Houston’s gang bang record????

Pop Quiz!

Which is more obviously photoshopped: that hilarious fake Kenyan Obama birth cert, or Pammycakes in that graphic?

Giggity giggity giggity!

Almost, almost lifelike. A little more photochop or a little less make-up and she’d be almost lifelike.

The mind boggles at what it would take to achieve lifelike.

Only $20 for a tragic ending.

In all serious did she have a nose job done? Where is her beautiful semetic shnoz? She gone and replaced it with some little scandinavian snoot. So Michael Jackson.

What’s that thing on her head? Did her babushka go askew?

What’s that thing on her head?

It appears to be the fires of hell, which she is walking away from Robert-Rodriguez-style.

Also, she needs more botox over that left eyebrow. They couldn’t photoshop that out?

Yes, I’m being surly and hateful.

Sorry, but “WAKE UP SHEEPLE: Obama is Malcolm X’s love-child” was already a tad too intimate for me.

I hope she kept the receipt – even with all the shooping she still looks like Erik Estrada in drag. Oh well … guess it’s time to put some more Gravol in the ol’ eye-dropper again!

*splurp splurp*

And Just $85 For A Two-Hour Session

It’s gonna cost her more than that

“she still looks like Erik Estrada in drag”

Wow. Yeah, you’re right. It’s the nose, I think.

Item! Will Pam reveal her new moniker for the poor undeserving populace? Sheeple is poised to go, but what will replace it? Only a true Randian like Pam (who understands Rand’s commitment to God*) can decide.

*I’m too lazy to find the ironic link.

What’s that thing on her head?

The bordello walls don’t photograph well.

SURVEY SAYS… Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

BTW, you guys see that the wingnuts in the House are trying to pass legislation requiring a birth certificate from all Presidential candidates? This ain’t dying any time soon, regardless of how little there there is.

And Just $85 For A Two-Hour Session

It’s gonna cost her more than that

Rusty for the win!

$85 actually sounds like a good deal. I mean, sure you could get much the same effect by attaching some pasties to a sandbag and then driving rusty nails into your ears, but the sense of shame afterwards would be hard to replicate. I suppose you could also arrange to beat a disabled five-year old at one-on-one hoops and as you walk triumphantly away hear him telling his friend that he felt so sorry for you and had to let you win.

And how long would the good people of McKinney, TX listen to a woman with a Rosie O’Donnell accent, if she weren’t talking about killing brown people (including Barack Obama)? It would be a matter of milliseconds.

but the sense of shame afterwards would be hard to replicate

Only if shame is an indispensable part of your gratification. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Thank you, no.

Now, Marie Jon’ would be a whole different matter…

First Prize: Two Hours with Pam Geller
Second Prize: Three Hours with Pam Geller

Is there a Sadlynaut in the area we could send to the event as a mole/agent provocateur?

I guess that’s one way of marketing Galt night at Hooters.

Presumably Bolton will be first in line. Sloppy seconds anyone?

Since no one else is going to step up to the plate….

I’d hit it.

Doc Washboard:

Is there a Sadlynaut in the area we could send to the event as a mole/agent provocateur?

I’d consider it, but only if it involved hate sex after introducing myself as “Hussein Mohammed Mohammed”.

Sadly, I live nowhere near Texas, so plane tickets, meals, and hotel or room would have to be provided. Hey, if I’m willing to suffer through this, at least someone else can pay the expenses.

.

Since no one else is going to step up to the plate….

I’d hit it.

Yeah.

With a cream pie.

In the face.

I’d consider it, but only if it involved hate sex after introducing myself as “Hussein Mohammed Mohammed”.

Mutually consenting hate sex, of course – lest it be misinterpreted.

.

I’d hit it.

So would I. With a two-by-four.

Wait. We have to pay to have cougar sex? When did that start?

Man, not with Carl Rove’s dick. It would be like nailing a combination of Fran Drescher, Gilbert Gottfried and Michelle Bachman. There’s not enough tequila in the world to take me there, and not enough bleach to bring me back afterwards.

Why is there a picture of a leather couch on the ad? Wouldnt be more effective with a picture of Pam?

Well…there is the interest in wondering what it would be like to enjoy an “intimate evening” with someone who is batshit nuts. Is it better than conjugal visit sex? Or do you end up dousing yourself with cheap Russian vodka and light a match?

Either way, the lights have to be off.

Wonder Tits.. Activate!!!

Form of….a Wingnut!!!

I’d hit it.

With a sock full of D-cells, I hope.

CNBC says that joblesness could be a problem for as long as four years.

I wonder who people will vote for when unemployment is 16 percent in 2012? Hmmm…

Any recovery and lowering of unemployment is a loooooong way off!

I wondered about the skin-tone thing too. Was this a lighting issue, an over-enthusiastic application of a PS filter, a mishap with a tanning bed, or what? I mean, whoever did this layout obviously took the time to take a few pounds off that Yiddish schnozz, but then he goes and turns her all swarthy? Wussup widdat?

Is it Jeb Bush again this time, Troofie? Or do you have a new, even more hilarious mancrush?

Boy, Troofie sure hasn’t mentioned me in a while. I bet he left me for that whore, Unemployment. But she’ll get hers. He’ll leave her when she isn’t useful anymore, just like he did with me.

We have to pay to have cougar sex? When did that start?

It’s optional – pay now, get an alimony discount in future. New Wall St thing, sells well with Republican pols.

Tbogg, you should know that Malkin is punting her new “book” on Twitter with the tag – #coc . In case you don’t have enough fresh material to mock teabaggers.

It would be like nailing a combination of Fran Drescher, Gilbert Gottfried and Michelle Bachman.

Oh, come now.

I like Fran Drescher (lived too long on Lawn Guyland, I did). You have a point on the rest though.

Standard Trollnut logic:

If unemployment (or the DOW, or the GDP, or inflation, or international relations, or global warming, or teen pregnancy rates, or the quality of Hollywood movies, or whatever measure they wasnt to drone about) doesn’t improve, it’s Obama’s fault, and proof that he’s an abject, Carteresque, doomed-to-a-single-term failure.

On the other hand, if it improves, then it does so in spite of him, it would have improved anyway, was doing so starting at least a year ago, would have improved even more if he hadn’t interfered, and is proof that he’s an abject, Carteresque, doomed-to-a-single-term failure.

That about right?

I bet he left me for that whore, Unemployment. But she’ll get hers. He’ll leave her when she isn’t useful anymore, just like he did with me.

Only with her, he’ll leave when she starts going down on him, not when she stops.

With full manual release?

I’m…I’m sorry. Just…sorry.

I wondered about the skin-tone thing too. Was this a lighting issue, an over-enthusiastic application of a PS filter, a mishap with a tanning bed, or what?

Ironic, yes it is, how so many white racists seem obsessed with acquiring a deep golden-brown “healthy” tan by any means necessary. May they They may all get skin cancer.

“Leather couch.”

That rules, Galactic Dustbin.

You sexists just triggered me.

Unemployment is the metric that affects people the most, and its going to be a problem for quite a while. And tax hikes aren’t going to fix it.

Obviously, the Quality of Hollywood movies is the metric that affects people the most, and its going to be a problem for quite a while. And tax hikes aren’t going to fix it.

Standard Trollnut logic:

. . .

That about right?

Pretty close, except where you used that “logic” word there.

I like Fran Drescher

Putting aside the fact of La Drescher attending high school with my brother, she’s fairly attractive in an ordinary (i.e., non-hate-sex) way. She made the decision to play up her accent and personality into a parody of herself and it made her rich…which suggests she’s not dumb, however annoying the public persona may be.

This is why men are afraid of intimacy.

I mean, sure you could get much the same effect by attaching some pasties to a sandbag and then driving rusty nails into your ears, but the sense of shame afterwards would be hard to replicate.

You’d need to wear diapers.

Wingnuts should just remember the Bush Principle – no President (or Preznit) is truly responsible for anything that happens until at least ten months into their Administration.

And I do distinctly remember blathering from certain quarters a few years back that the President wasn’t responsible for the economy. Though that was a Republican instead of a blackity-black radical America-hating Moooslim liberal, so your mileage may vary.

CNBC says that joblesness could be a problem for as long as four years.

CNBC?

You mean the morons who encouraged us to buy bigger houses with money we didn’t have by taking out mortgages we couldn’t afford?

LOL! Yea, there’s a bunch I’ll listen to about economics…

Obviously, the Quality of pr0n is the metric that affects people the most

Fiq’d.

Whatever loony libs, in 2010 when unemployment numbers are as high as they were in the Reagan years have ever been, a disgruntled electorate will see through your sham of a political party and re-elect Republicans to majorities in both the House and Senate. Bookmark it.

P.S. I am totally not a fake troll, but am the Troofy Reel Deels.

P.P.S. PENIS. Also.

Tempting:

…and toast a glass of champagne to the future of the GOP.

True:

Her videoblogs (“vlogs”) on a wide range of current events have won enthusiastic acclaim[.]

We here at Sadly, No! can attest to this.

…and toast a glass of champagne to the future of the GOP.

If you toast the glasses, don’t they crack when you pour cold stuff in them?

To all the glasses of champagne that weren’t so lucky!

Huzzah!

If you toast the glasses, don’t they crack when you pour cold stuff in them?

The secret is shut up, already.

Reagan… Reagan….

oh, you mean the guy with Cheese Socialism.

And arms shipments to Iran.

oh, you mean the guy with Cheese Socialism.

He called it the Curdish Rebellion.

He called it the Curdish Rebellion.

What, they shouldn’t be free to determine their own whey?

And the problem with government cheese is that people will come along and milk it for all it’s worth until they rennet into the ground.

And the problem with government cheese is that people will come along and milk it for all it’s worth until they rennet into the ground.

Whey over the top, dude.

Whey over the top, dude.

Can’t stomach it, eh?

Can’t stomach it, eh?

It curdled my stomach.

I mean, whoever did this layout obviously took the time to take a few pounds off that Yiddish schnozz, but then he goes and turns her all swarthy? Wussup widdat?

I think she’s going with the “Evil J-Lo” look, or maybe “New Style Klingon” J-Lo, what with that alarming forehead.

And folks, ask the moderators parmesan before continuing with the cheesy puns!

Fantastic. If you wanted a thread to devolve into stinking cheesie puns, well – Feta complis.

Fantastic. If you wanted a thread to devolve into stinking cheesie puns, well – Feta complis.

Gouda one, DK. You wanna roquefort? Just brie it on!

She’s just going to show naked pictures, supposedly of politicians’ parents, huh? Hey, why pay for the bigotry when you can have the prejudice for free?

Lookism, sexism, triggers…head for ze hills!!!!!

PENIS, also, humorless dildoes, also, too.

‘Scuse Mah Tri-GAHs!

Just brie it on!

Your puns are quite Stilton, in fact that last one just bleu.

On topic.

That pic.. It’s Teh Gorgonzola!

Your puns are quite Stilton, in fact that last one just bleu.

Emmentaler once, emmentaler a thousand times! Cheddar off dead than cow-tow to the likes of you!

One of my regrets is that I didn’t get this distressed-brown-leather baseball-type jacket back when Wilson’s was still carrying them. I like the look of distressed brown leather, but I don’t want to wear a fake flight jacket as if I could have possibly flown P-38s back in the Big One. I look at Pam and think of that jacket, the good times that we could have had.

Wonder why?

Look Jack, the casein hand is that your puns lactose special things that make them ripen. And the humourless dildo, well he’s already havarti can handle.

Jesus, people, I think I’m lactose intolerant now. Thanks a lot.

On Topic,

It’s somehow appropriate that a post about Pam OshRLY? Gellah has devolved into bad wordplay about milk products gone bad.

I guess I’m speaking for the majority of sane America when I say in all seriousness, who the fuck is Pamela Geller?

I was expecting maybe Uri’s daughter. Like will she bend salad spoons?

Like will she bend salad spoons?

You mean will a steel-hard object go limp in her hands?

Yes.

PENIS.

It’s somehow appropriate that a post about Pam OshRLY? Gellah has devolved into bad wordplay about milk products gone bad.

Orshly Teats?

Fromage to age, we have these cheese-punning sessions. Que, so, enjoy them. I cantel if you’re serious or not. I just don’t want to find out you do not and greve. That would be parmesan for the course.

I just don’t want to find out…

Nah, I’m just kidding. You’re a joker.

I’d pay her to clean my house, but that’s about all. There aren’t condoms thick enough.

And that voice… I’d be plagued with nightmares for the rest of my life.

“I’d pay her to clean my house, but that’s about all.”

How about bring you a coffee and donut?

Can you libs cool it with the antisemitic remarks?

punting her new “book” on Twitter with the tag – #coc . In case you don’t have enough fresh material to mock teabaggers.

Oh man I love Corrosion of Conformity!

I believe these are anti-Gelleritic remarks.

Different.

You libs can mock, but it’s a legitimate question to ask about when President Obama is going to create jobs for angry violent racists; the sort of person who is so socially maladjusted he needs a government program to get him back into work, because no company would hire a man whose CV has one line on it, “has spent nearly a decade writing hateful comments to liberal blogs online almost every hour of the day instead of improving himself”. So libs, when are there going to be jobs for The Truth?

And for that matter, when is Obama going to start forcing women to consider dating The Truth too?

You libs can mock, but it’s a legitimate question to ask about when President Obama is going to create jobs for angry violent racists; the sort of person who is so socially maladjusted he needs a government program to get him back into work, because no company would hire a man whose CV has one line on it, “has spent nearly a decade writing hateful comments to liberal blogs online almost every hour of the day instead of improving himself”. So libs, when are there going to be jobs for The Truth?

Oh, we’ve had one of those for a while now.

And for that matter, when is Obama going to start forcing women to consider dating The Truth too?

Right now, it appears the free market rate is $85.

OK, I’m sold. How much do I have to pay to avoid this silicon-enhanced nightmare?

I stood right next to Pam once. If you’re into Yoda, this is the woman for you.

Arky: pay me 85$ and you can stay home that night.

So if unemployment is high in 2012, these unemployed voters will vote for the party that opposed extending unemployment benefits as part of the stimulus package?

So if unemployment is high in 2012, these unemployed voters will vote for the party that opposed extending unemployment benefits as part of the stimulus package?

Well, of course! If they hadn’t had those benefits then obviously they would have all gone out and gotten a job by now. DUH!

tigrismus said,

August 4, 2009 at 2:50

Arky: pay me 85$ and you can stay home that night.

In the spirit of free the free market, I can let you stay home that night for just $79.95! (plus shipping and handling). And for just three easy payments of $199.95 you can get a lifetime subscription to miss every Pam Gellar event. If you call in the next thirty minutes we will also not sign you up for Sarah Palin’s Tweets!

Gouda one, DK. You wanna roquefort? Just brie it on!

Gouda you pronounce that?

My 85$ offer includes shipping and handling. Plus it comes with a free Frogurt! The frogurt is also cursed.

What? No love for goat cheese?

Dammit, here I am, working my fingers to the BONE on my Wingnut Processor, just trying to make an honest zombie dollar, while tigrismus and DogCrazy come up with a program just designed to appeal to the wingnuts.

It’s not fair, I tell you.

Scuze mah fin-GAHS, worked to teh BOAN!

The frogurt is also cursed.

They sell that at the concession stands at Wrigley Feild. Good stuff.

DogCrazy

It is supposed to translate to Moondog. A nickname I got tagged with some 25 years ago and been stuck with since. I’ve been callwed worse thagh.

Not to be unfunny or anything, but there’s something very interesting about the response to these women by their acolytes… The Cheeto-scented minions of darkness find them inexpressibly hawt, why?

Michelle Malkin makes my skin crawl. You can see the rage seething just under her skin. A ten-second video clip (even with the sound off) is enough for anybody not suffering from Asbergers to see there’s something very wrong with her mind.

Geller is your basic spring break drunk, sun-scorched and tits akimbo, and for this very reason she’s become a voice of the Right. She’s so authentic, you know? So cheap, so tacky, just like Sarah Palin only there’s an outside chance you might get to fuck her because Geller was really overweight in high school so she’s relatively easy.

Ann Coulter? I don’t know what the attraction is there, unless it’s just that she comes off really WASPy and old-blood patrician, which turns on a certain segment of the lumpenmasses. Mmmm, jodhpurs and a riding crop.

Then there are the Fox News dollies, Palin herself, and the Heathers like Megan McArdle… something for everyone. What do all these women have in common, besides vaginas (come on, guys, Coulter may have a three-inch clitoris, but she probably does have a vagina) and a profound hatred for anybody who isn’t an ignorant, self-righteous prick with a lot of money and power? It’s not the women, I think, but the men in their audience. They like their chicks almost caricaturishly sexy, but virginal at the same time (Geller fails at this rather completely), unattainable (they’ll sleep with anybody but you), and most of all, male in their attitudes and speech.

Maybe all these guys are closeted.

I don’t know, so I guess there’s not much of a punch line here. I’ll use one from a joke.

“You think that’s big? You’re standing on mine!”

What’s on her chin? Seriously, since she’s making looks relevant, it’s fair to ask: she and the photographer glamourize her to the fullest extent possible and there’s still an ugly …something on her chin. What, the real thing is actually more prominent, more ugly? I’m not being gratuitous; she brought the appearance factor into the arena.

I live near McKinney, only about 40 minutes away. If anyone wants me to attend the festivities and report back, please email me and let me know.

I went to the market with my mother to buy blintzes
She said “There’s that Pammy Geller, her folks think she’s a princess
She’s got lots of money, but culture she ain’t got
And when she turned her face, I very nearly plotzed
Mamma, what happened to Pammy Geller’s nose
Once it looked like half a bagel, but now it barely shows
Here today and gone tomorrow, is that how the story goes?
Mamma, what happened to Pammy Geller’s nose?

(via Austin Lounge Lizards, via an Arkansas songwriter whose name escapes at the present time…)

In the spirit of free the free market, I can let you stay home that night for just $79.95! (plus shipping and handling). And for just three easy payments of $199.95 you can get a lifetime subscription to miss every Pam Gellar event. If you call in the next thirty minutes we will also not sign you up for Sarah Palin’s Tweets!

Throw in a “Please Excuse Arky from Attending Gay Patriot Wets’ Sad Bastards Supporting Bigots “Happy Hour” note and you’ve got yourself a deal.

(Shipping and handling WHAT? Will I need latex gloves for this? A HAZMAT suit?)

Also:

Is it me or does the fact that the text in that photo forms a nice frame for her … uh … rack seem rather too fortuitous to be accidental? I mean, I can accept the fact that her face is hard to see because the photographer was a fRighty and didn’t have time to mess with DFH shit like a flash, but the text makes it look like we’re being invited to a magical evening with her bosoms and the rest of her is just an optional extra.

Speaking of the Reich Wing’s love affair with Ann Coulter, I saw her speak on C-Span to a young Rethuglicans group. One young mover and shaker (sounding like Squeaky-Voiced Teen from “The Simpsons Movie”) asked her if she would marry him. She replied, “After you make your first billion dollars.” and then laughed awkwardly at her own wittiness.

Reminded me of the old joke about sleeping with someone for a million bucks with the punchline: “We know what you are, now we’re just haggling over the price.”