Yay! I was just getting ready to post this link in comments, after having flogged it last night.

Kristol wants to artificially maintain lower standards of health care for some people so that some other people can say their own health care provisions are ‘better’

Shorter Kristol: It’s not rationing healthcare because shut up, that’s why.

Kristol’s warped priorities really are stunning to me … it’s like if you had plenty of food to go around, but you argued that some of should be allowed to rot so that certain people could be rewarded with more food than other people.

it’s not enough that Kristol wins – others must lose.

We’ll return to “Rictus: The Bill Kristol Story” after these brief messages.

I still don’t understand what the hell happened to that man…he used to be so funny on Soap.

I was amazed at how stupid Kristol appeared. And how clueless. It’s clear he didn’t even comprehend he was being pwned.

My friend as I was watching said, he had to admire conservatives for going on TDS and taking their lumps, but in my opinion, Kristol is so stupid he thought he done good.

I fully support lower standards of health care for Bill Kristol.

My friend as I was watching said, he had to admire conservatives for going on TDS and taking their lumps

I’ve heard this before, and I too think it’s missing the point. Though I don’t necessarily think, like you, that it’s cluelessness or stupidity, so much as they simply don’t take this shit all that seriously. The one overriding impression I got from Kristol throughout this interview is that it’s just a big game to him. He’s got his wingnut welfare check and his invites on all the talk shows, what the fuck does he care if John Stewart makes fun of him?

but in my opinion, Kristol is so stupid he thought he done good.

What’s more important is that his devotees will never be convinced that he got trounced, in the same vein as the wingnuts who are still convince that Palin kicked Biden’s ass in the vice presidential debates, or the creationists who can watch a creationist-scientist debate and think they’re watching a scientist getting schooled.

How about in honor of the U.S. troops, ya shut up and accept yer substandard healthcare? Also.

I’m sorry, Sgt. York, we had to let your mother die of sepsis so that you could say you had better health care than her.

“Some should have it better” is the wingnut modus operandi in every field. Tax policy, welfare policy, healthcare, everything is predicated on some “deserving” class reaping benefits at the expense of some “undeserving” class. Even if you could prove absolutely that their “deserving” class would benefit more in a “rising tide lifting all boats” scenario (e.g. the wealthy under Clinton) it wouldn’t be enough to them: they’d rather make less in real terms as long as the “undeserving” are doing even worse, as long as the gap is widening.

I’m a generally peaceful man, only ever had one actual fistfight, not really a violent bone in my body.

That said, what is it about Kristol that makes me want to smash him in the face with the flat side of an axe?

Ugh. This tiresome fool.

It’s not worth proving to Kristol that he’s full of BS, because he already knows it. As long as the wingnut welfare rolls in, and he gets approval from mommy and daddy and his fellow legacy babies, that’s all that matters.

Not seeing a doctor is supporting the troops.

But wait – I thought his point was that Obamacare would lead to horrible health care – meaning it’s troop-a-liciously awesome!

Aha conservaturds, opposing health care reform is disrespecting the troops.

Lie-beral Islamhomofacsism: 1
FYIGM jerkwads: < 1

It’s clear he didn’t even comprehend he was being pwned.

I don’t think he gives a crap, really.

Pwned, and not a cream pie in sight.

Although if Stewart had hit him with a cream pie, it would have been AWESOME.

That final question – 1 trillion for health care or 1 trillion for Iraq – you could see it stripped all Billy’s gears. He WANTED to say Iraq, but had some clue that might be a bad answer. Not quite sure why, he looked a little like a dog when you read to it, but at that point I think he suspected maybe this wasn’t quite the win he tought it would be.

But also, yes, he fully believes that this is part of the game, and that he’s got his, by god, and you all can fuck off and die.

Shorter Kristol:

Poor people, you die. Either in some desert the other side of the world, or because you can’t afford healthcare. It’s your patriotic duty, mkay, and don’t let elitists tell you otherwise.

Tax policy, welfare policy, healthcare, everything is predicated on some “deserving” class reaping benefits at the expense of some “undeserving” class.

When you’re a wingnut, everything is a zero-sum game.

Pwned, and not a cream pie in sight.

When the moon hits Bill’s eye,
Like a big custard pie
That’s a Moore’s Egg.

Parker roll or bread and butter, kid?

How else are we going to get the proles to sign up to die for another man’s wealth if we don’t ensure that only the military gets perks? Huh, tell me how, you liberal nitwit.

Lunch Lady said,
July 28, 2009 at 19:34 (kill)

Parker roll or bread and butter, kid?

It’s 7:30pm you cow. I AM STARVING.

Partial transcript for the video impaired.

It really is nothing more than a game to these bastards, isn’t it?

Kristol wants to artificially maintain lower standards of health care for some people so that some other people can say their own health care provisions are ‘better’.

Shorter Kristol:

“Fuck you, I got mine”.

That said, what is it about Kristol that makes me want to smash him in the face with the flat side of an axe?

The side???

You ARE a peaceful man!

I will personally send $20 to the first talk-show pundit who hits Bill Kristol in the face with a cast-iron frying pan.

Call me when Kristol achieves the same level of common sense as the average houseplant.

You’re aiming too high for him. He might achieve the intelligence of a slime mold, however.

what is it about Kristol that makes me want to smash him in the face with the flat side of an axe?

Probably the same thing that always makes me want to smack his head repeatedly with a kneesock full of quarters.

1 trillion for health care or 1 trillion for Iraq

There was a post at Digby’s that mentioned the trillion dollar, ten year figure, and noted that over the same ten years we will spend 24 trillion on health care. For round numbers’ sake, let’s say there are 300M insured and 50M uninsured. Not strictly accurate, but close enough for this comparison. $8k per year per insured for the status quo. $2k per year per currently uninsured to bring them all into the system. Sounds like a bargain, and that’s before taking into account the savings of moving them from the ERs to real primary care.

$24T=Status Quo. $25T=Universal Coverage. No brainer?

Also not taken into account is the thirty percent or so off the top that goes straight into the pockets of the insurance companies as profit. $8 trillion. Actually implementing a real single payer system has the potential to save us seven trillion, then, don’t it? Which is the real reason, of course, that those to whom said trillions might go are fighting tooth and nail to stop it from happening.

Also, PENIS.

The side???

You ARE a peaceful man!

Pretty much my first thought on that as well.

I’ve said it before about him and Feith being the two guys that inspire that sort of thing in me. It’s the “I know I’m doing bad, mommy, and you can’t stop me” look on their mugs, I think. Either that, or it’s just a more well honed sense of self preservation than I thought I possessed. The photos from that dinner related to the thread a few down, however, might make me expand my horizons on this.

Of course, since Kristol and his buddies are no longer in power, when the county ends up with only milquetoast health care reforms, it’s going to be difficult to lay all the blame on them, no matter how vapid and intellectually dishonest they may be. This is a national crisis, and it almost seems like perhaps the party that came to power in the last election cycle ought be, you know, doing something, maybe.

The whole point is, some people are better than others. And this has to be maintained in all facets of society so that people know who their betters are and show some respect for them.

Otherwise, people and especially ones who aren’t white will get all uppity and the next thing you know they’re running for President and not as a token either but actually with a mind of their own.

Let them eat cake. Also.

I will personally send $20 to the first talk-show pundit who hits Bill Kristol in the face with a cast-iron frying pan.

We need to come up with a price list.

$5 for leaving shards of glass on his chair.

Also, after reading that transcript, I fucking hate Conservatives. Also.

Yay! I was just getting ready to post this link in comments, after having flogged it last night.

Flogged?

Interest, newsletter, subscribe, blog…

How much time do you think Kristol spends down at the local VA, supporting the troops?

“what is it about Kristol that makes me want to smash him in the face with the flat side of an axe?”

Gee, I don’t know:

– The shit-eating smirk?

– The braying laugh?

– The total disregard for the Everyman?

– The glee with which he embraces blowing the shit out of brown people?

– The nasally voice?

Do I have to pick just one?

Probably the same thing that always makes me want to smack his head repeatedly with a kneesock full of quarters.

I’m a bag of oranges man myself. Old-school, I am.

A counter argument is that we have the best hospitals in the world; people fly here for the best care. But aren’t all the best hospitals state run? And isn’t the best research in healthcare done by state schools? Would this change with a public option? I’m not conservative so I’m not allowed to pretend to be an expert.

He barely KNOWS us!

I’m a bag of oranges man myself. Old-school, I am.

Well, since we’re sharing preferences, I am quite partial to the half-brick inna sock.

How much time do you think Kristol spends down at the local VA on his knees, supporting the troops the neocon agenda?

Lots!

I’m a bag of oranges man myself. Old-school, I am.

Well, since we’re sharing preferences, I am quite partial to the half-brick inna sock.

Sock full of pennies.

Hey, I’m cheap, you know?

Ugh, that snorting and grimacing. I wish Stewart would cock-punch the mofo.

Charles Portis could have been describing Kristol when he wrote:

“Look at those eyes. I believe we are entering a new age of reptiles.”

Just came across this quote from “Babylon 5” and thought it very apropos:

I’d like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

*waves fingers at Bill Kristol, who needs to realize some policies come with too high a price as well*

I’m a bag of oranges man myself. Old-school, I am.

“Here, wrap these oranges in this towel for me.”

“Sure, Dr. Forrester, what’re you going to do with that?”

“Just call me ‘Bobo’, Frank.”

I’m a bag of oranges man myself. Old-school, I am.

I’m actually a woodchipper sort of fellow, when it comes down to it. Although a nice, old fashioned glue factory or Meadowlands end zone can do in a pinch.

As we used to say about the Sabretts when I was growing up, “A little piece of Hoffa in every bite.”

Bill Kristol believes he’s doing Jon Stewart a favor by going on his show and explaining to him how the Village Consensus on health care works.

Health care is not a right. It is a continuous revenue stream.

I heartily endorse cock-puncheries.

KRISTOL: Wait, that’s not what I said.
STEWART: Let me get this down. The government COCK-PUNCH!!!

both of KRISTOL’s eyes come up BAR and $10K in nickels falls out.
Yayyys! Now we can afford insurance for one more mexislamogheycommunityorganizer!

If you want to hate conservatives some more . . . . (ominous ellipses)
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111173038

I heard a little of it at noon, as I was running errands. Terry Gross was interviewing Stuart Butler and Paul Krugman. Stuart Butler, vice president for domestic and economic policy studies for the conservative think tank the Heritage Foundation, was chiding Democrats–especially Obama–for failing to have the substantive discussion with the American people about the hard choices that need to be made about health care in America. He (a native of England) pointed out how the British had had this conversation in 1947 and had gone into their nationalized system with their eyes wide open. He criticized Obama for being facile, talking about equally effective blue pills that cost less than red pills. Tsk tsk, Obama.

Oh, Mr. Butler, whatever was Obama thinking? Why doesn’t he talk to Americans like adults about finite resources and results-oriented evaluation of medical treatements? Why doesn’t he bring up the examples of areas where the supply of testing and treatment determines what testing and treatments are sold rather than actual need, yet the outcomes are comparable? The Republicans would engage him on a serious level and present their own plan for controlling costs and expanding coverage. It’s not as though they would put commercials on TV that said Obama wanted to kill their Grandmas and deny them treatment for brain cancer. They wouldn’t ignore the need for reform and just call Obama a socialist or commie, would they? They wouldn’t try to defeat health care reform just for political reasons, would they?

Of course Krugman pointed out that the Clintons had tried to have such a dialogue and were shot down, and that was why Democrats were using an incremental approach.

There wasn’t even any point to Butler’s scolding except to again try to push the blame for our mess of a health care system on the Democrats.

I’m a bag of oranges man myself. Old-school, I am.

Have you tried a waffle iron?

“I threw a microwave at a bitch once. It ain’t hit her but I threw it at her.”

Ewwwwww! Sabretts are HOT DOGS!!!

Ugh, that snorting and grimacing. I wish Stewart would cock-punch the mofo.

Can’t be arsed to find the video of the Japanese game show in question, but there is one that rewards the wrong answer with a big lever coming up and smacking the contestant in the nads. Brilliant. May I suggest a format change for all the talk shows?

I lieu, ferrofluid
.

I’m down with a bag of oranges, as long as they’re frozen.

justme, if I recall the GAO reports on Medicare-for-all correctly, single payer would probably reduce health care expenditures (as percentage of GDP) by about 25 to 30%. This doesn’t take into account the savings from replacing emergency care with regular preventative care. We certainly spend a lot more on health care than we would need to under a single payer system.

Gawd that’s so hard to watch, and it reminds me again why I don’t watch most talking head shows. Kristol seldom let Stewart finish a sentence, and when Kristol wasn’t interrupting Stewart, or spewing disinformation so fast Stewart couldn’t get a word in edgewise, Kristol was waiting impatiently to resume spewing.

Djur said,

July 28, 2009 at 21:01
…

That’s interesting Djur but you didn’t say what you’s hit Kristol with.

I’d pay $5 for someone to fill the candy dish in Kristol’s dressing room with chocolate laxatives (do they still make those?).

Ewwwwww! Sabretts are HOT DOGS!!!

Next time, post a “SPOILER ALERT!”

That is the first interview of Stewart’s that I have ever turned off. Why bother with the rabid weasel Kristol?

Is there room at the party for a pillow case full of doorknobs?

Well, since we’re sharing preferences, I am quite partial to the half-brick inna sock.

That’s overkill. All you need is a bar of soap in a sock, along with a steady perseverance and an acclimation to aerobic exercise. Take your time and do the job right.

Some of us are older and arthritic, and can’t keep up with all that aerobic stuff for long. Either a brick or about $5 in pennies in a sock for me, please.

Kristol, Fieth, and Wolfowitz: would love to take just one punch at each (Kristol first of course).

And I’d happily bloody my own knuckles–them’s some good souvenirs.

And I’d happily bloody my own knuckles

Cyn! MRSA! No!

Kristol, Fieth, and Wolfowitz: would love to take just one punch at each

COCK-PUNCH!!!one1

Where the hell is bloody Gavin? Pigeon cap inna sock would have unsettled Kristol.

That is, crap.

Hmmm. What to hit Bad Billy with.

Oranges just aren’t harsh enough. I once spent an interminable boat ride on the Mekong where the least bad seat was lying on huge bags of oranges. Sure it was uncomfortable but not punishing enough for Kristol.

I like the sound of cast iron, maybe an aebleskiver pan. It might leave interesting marks.

How about a judiciously placed knuckle on the jawbone, about an inch below the ear? Not really damaging, but painful as all-get-out.

I say go for the ol’ flour in a stocking gambit, like we used to use on Halloween. It’s heavy enough to hurt, plus it coats whatever you hit with a fine white powder. Kristol in whiteface.

Tube sock. Marbles (little ones). With some poison ivy leaves pushed down wid da marbles.

Cyn! MRSA! No!

Sorry actor, gotta go for maximum visceral impact. Though with your method you’d get some nice one-liners:

“Penny for your thoughts William?”

Either a brick or about $5 in pennies in a sock for me, please.

YOU LIE-BRALS ARE SUCH WUSSIES!!! IF YOU’RE LOOKIN’ TO TEACH SOME FELLER A LESSON, YOU LOCK HIM IN A FREEZER WITH A BADGER!!!1!! TRUST ME, HE’LL GET THE MESSAGE!!

…and cover the badger with poison ivy oil.

Yep, nothing like Kristol’s leering smarm to bring out the COCKPUNCH in even the gentlest soul. Still, though, I’d gladly give up the pleasure of busting him in the ‘nads myself for the opportunity to organize an Airplane!-style punch-out line for every combat soldier who has been stop-lossed in Iraq for Billy’s little PNAC Iraqi Adventure.

Why fuck around with a badger? Polar bear inna freezer

I just assumed that the freezer would be lined with a bed of poison ivy….and there’s no need to punish the badger, he’s doing god’s work.

Polar bear inna freezer

A POLAR BEAR VERSUS A BADGER???!!?? HA HA HA!!!!! WHAT A GREENHORN RUBE!!!!111! POLAR BEARS ARE TERRIFIED OF BOTH BADGERS AND PELICANS, AND WITH GOOD REASON!!!!

“Sock full of pennies.”

I understand the ole tire iron approach works wonders.

P.I. in the freezer–check. Don’t know that critters are prone to the stuff. Dogs seem to wander through it without effect while then passing it on to us. But protect badger–check.

Maybe filling a 55-gallon drum with P.I. and then stuffing Billy in it and rolling it down a tall hill. Badger in barrel optional.

NLWINTR, with your preoccupation with poison ivy today, I must ask, “Did you have a bad experience berry picking/gardening/hiking to the fishing hole this weekend?”

Also, poison ivy makes me think of poison sumac, which makes me think of non-venomous sumac, which inspires this PSA- we are nearing the prime season for sumac lemonade.

B4: Not this weekend. Or any in the near past. But bad enough ones further back to stick in the memory some. Can you say Technu?

I know an old vet who makes this similar argument. He gets his healthcare from the VA and is quite happy with it. When I point out this is a good example of gov’t run healthcare, he starts in with his whole spiel about how he fought for the country and deserves it and those that didn’t fight, don’t.

Feh. That would be “Tecnu.”

Why hate Conservatives over health care when Obama and the Democratic leadership should have the votes to force through reform whether right wing pundits and the GOP want it or not? It’s time to realize that, while the Republicans may be villains, they’re far from the only villains.

YOU LOCK HIM IN A FREEZER WITH A BADGER!!!1!!

Or a couple ferrets in the breeches.

When I point out this is a good example of gov’t run healthcare, he starts in with his whole spiel about how he fought for the country and deserves it and those that didn’t fight, don’t.

This made me realize something — Kristol wants the best health care reserved for America’s warriors. And he sees himself as one of the warriors.

Sure, he’ll be getting the best health care available, him and his military buddies. Why shouldn’t he get that? As far as he’s concerned, he’s America’s Strongest Military Advocate — of course soldiers would love him!

OT- but since no one’s interested in lesbian yogurt, I’ll post it here.

The tapes have been released!

I watched the Daily Show before bedtime, semi-comatose. I had no thoughts of applying axes or badgers to Kristol. Not even stripping him and smoking him lightly over a banked campfire composed exclusively of California poison oak and mesquite.

It was nothing like watching the Ed Show yesterday while on the treadmill, adrenaline pumping, with Michael Medved as a guest, grinning like a sated cannibalistic clown at the prospect of seeing health care reform go down in flames. I would enjoy seeing him peer up from the badger pit, brandishing no weapons but his complacency, self-righteousness and a Limbaugh dingleberry. Maybe he could hypnotize the badgers by swinging the dingleberry back and forth. It would be fun to watch him try.

I’ve got a comic book at home in which ferret legging plays an important part of the plot. It’s a silly plot, but still.

As far as he’s concerned, he’s America’s Strongest Military Advocate — of course soldiers would love him!

Yep exactly that: “as far as he’s concerned”.

The reality of the situation might be a little surprising to him (as it so often must be).

Does a past incident of ferret legging establish that the individual involved could not be the father?

Y’all are missing the most obvious, and delicious, punishment.

It involves an inclined plane, a bucket of water, restraints and a cloth, to be placed over the nose and mouth.

Is there anyone more deserving?

“Hate” may not be the right word. It implies some emotional connection. But when conservatives constantly engage in bad faith behavior to the detriment of all but the most wealthy and powerful, it kinda yanks my chain. But maybe that’s just me. Democrats, not as bad on the whole, and at least some of them are trying.

On a board made of poison ivy! (And no Tecnu. Ever.)

OT- but since no one’s interested in lesbian yogurt, I’ll post it here.

Is it any different from the yogurt of the Greek mainland? BTW, yogurt flavored with sumac makes a delightful marinade.

I’ve said it before about him and Feith being the two guys that inspire that sort of thing in me. It’s the “I know I’m doing bad, mommy, and you can’t stop me” look on their mugs, I think.

See, when I see that glassy-eyed look combined with that smile, I think the following:

(1) this guy’s totally clueless;
(2) this guy knows he’s totally clueless, and he doesn’t care;
(3) this guy doesn’t care, and he knows he doesn’t HAVE to care, because as long as he keeps parroting the right propaganda and covering his ass, he’ll come out okay, and what does it all matter anyway?

I also want to think that they could use a good pie in the face. No one’s gotten Feith yet, have they?

Lesbian yoghurt?

Porn actress wine!

Porn actress wine!

I can’t believe the filters here at work didn’t block that site.

I’ve got this nice All-Clad frying pan that would very much like to make the acquaintance of Kristol’s face. It told me so. Also.

It’s like that other famous conservative principle that “what good is being rich unless you have poor people that you can be better than?”

If i had a hammer,
I’d hammer on his knee-ee-caps
I’d hammer on his brain case,
all over his bod
I’d hammer out FUCK YOU
I’d hammer out his eyeballs
I’d hammer out vengeance for my brother and my sisters
All over his bo-o-dy

Do y’all think Kristol really MEANT to say any of that? Or was it just that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about and kept fumbling around and getting boxed in by Stewart.

Actually, it looked to me at the first like he was about to say that health care for the military is inferior – didn’t he start to say something like “who would want that?” (can’t watch the video from this computer) But then in trying to save himself, he somehow wound up saying the opposite. And saying a bunch of other stuff he didn’t intend to say either.

Smack him gently up side the head with a leather-bound copy of the King James translation of the Bible. Surely this will make him repent.

I can’t believe the filters here at work didn’t block that site.

You mean I edited the HTML right? Wheeee!

I just used the linky from the sidebar here – didn’t even TRY to get to the actual site.

Do y’all think Kristol really MEANT to say any of that?

Never underestimate stupidity and a highly biased playing field. This guy has never had to compete for anything he’s been gifted in his life. If it wasn’t for daddy’s connections, Kristol would be just some run of the mill douche-nozzle investment banker, or maybe he’d be writing for Redsate.

So yeah, Kristol was unprepared for the very obvious question of why our government can’t handle healthcare for civillians if they do it for vets–life in the beltway echo chamber.

If it wasn’t for daddy’s connections, Kristol would be just some run of the mill douche-nozzle investment banker, or maybe he’d be writing for Redsate.

I don’t think he has the smarts to be an investment banker, and that’s not saying much (although he’s sociopathic enough). I think he’d be giving out hummers at the Port Authority Bus Terminal (rather than giving them on teh T.V.) with those flabby liver lips if he weren’t a legacy hire.

Is there anyone more deserving [of waterboarding]?

Bush/Cheney. How quickly we forget.

I also like the poison-ivy idea for long-term torment of Kristol, but the delay factor necessitates additional, immediate pain. Something involving a ball-peen hammer.

I think he’d be giving out hummers at the Port Authority Bus Terminal (rather than giving them on teh T.V.) with those flabby liver lips if he weren’t a legacy hire.

nah, he’d be some mid-level executive somewhere, probably in an insurance company, in a position that allowed him to browbeat his staff, and hopefully, be smarmy jackass to customers, alternating between obsequious ass kissing and unctuously explaining why the customer has no recourse in their discontent…

Now that I think of it, he’d probably be an account manager at a credit card company or collections agency. Anything that allows him to kick somebody when they’re down.

“I also like the poison-ivy idea for long-term torment of Kristol, but the delay factor necessitates additional, immediate pain.”

That’s what the marbles (the little ones in the sock with the P.I.) are for! Sheesh. You must think I am irresponsible or something.

Not Looch: I saw the marbles thing, but now I’m more inclined toward heavy-duty stuff. Something that would involve “Pit and the Pendulum”-style torture, or being tied up on a log headed down a flume toward a buzzsaw. Give him something to think about, get his mind right for a brief second or two before he’s disemboweled or decapitated.

Give him something to think about, get his mind right for a brief second or two before he’s disemboweled or decapitated.

Zombie attack.

Zombie attack.

Make it so, ZRM!

Is there anyone more deserving [of waterboarding]?

Bush/Cheney. How quickly we forget.

Point taken.

However in my defense, I think it could be argued that they could be considered just as deserving as opposed to more deserving. By a gnat’s whisker.

How about we string all three up by their ankles, along with Rummy, Axelrod, Scooter (what a fucking lame nickname) and Wolfie, and plunk ’em in the dunk tank a few hundred times?

MzNicky: Can’t argue with that. One of those car crushing units, the ones that reduce a vehicle to a two-foot cube could work as well. A flume ride into one those, perhaps?

Maybe more of a Rube Goldberg/ 3 Stooges approach:

Starts with an appearance on the Daily Show. Stewart hits him in the face with a bag of hammers, knocking him back in his chair.

which tips back, and rolls down an incline to a water tank. a lever drapes fabric over his face, then a pitcher of water pours over….

He grabs at the fabric, which causes a large boot to swing down, smacking him in the nads. as he lunges forward, grabbing at his injured yarbles, forcing the boot back, which releases the badgers….

running from the badgers, he escapes into a door marked “Escape” (he’s dim, you know). which leads to a Man-sized safe filled with poison ivy and powdered fiberglass. His weight causes it to tip onto a cart, which rolls him into an oven (solar powered, natch. It will hurt him more.) after lightly crisping him, it tips and throws him into a pile of nails and broken glass.

when he stands, several socks full of pennies and flour swing down, leaving him dazed and floured.

after wiping the powder from his eyes (while a tape recording says “Anthrax” over and over) a bag of hammers falls on his head, activating the trapdoor.

which drops him into a crowd of uninsured children. With cream pies.

Then the zombies eat him.

“Maybe more of a Rube Goldberg/ 3 Stooges approach:”

WANT

dang. I forgot some bricks.

How about we string all three up by their ankles, along with Rummy, Axelrod, Scooter (what a fucking lame nickname) and Wolfie, and plunk ‘em in the dunk tank a few hundred times?

One of these things is not like the others (hint: Axelrod is an Obama staffer – don’t think that’s who you’re thinking of).

zombie, I was going to the Rube Goldberg place, too, but yours incorporated far more of the thread’s tropes than mine. I am humbled.

(However, I was going to include ex-lax and p.i.-infused toilet paper, which I feel retains one high point of superiority.)

“One of these things is not like the others”

D’oh! Addington! I meant Addington, that fucker.

I think it could be argued that they could be considered just as deserving as opposed to more deserving. By a gnat’s whisker.

OneMan: Well, I see Kristol, et al. as more of a Greek chorus to the major actors in this particular tragedy. But hey, what the fuck, I’m a liberal, so: equal torture and dismemberment to them all!

I like the Rube Goldberg idea but I think it should include, somewhere before the uninsured children, a step where he gets locked inside a box full of live ticks.

Maybe mix them in with the poison ivy and powdered fiberglass?

Not Looch: I like the way you think. I know! A monster truck rally! Lash each of them to the grill of one of those suckers and let ’em have at it. I’d pay to see that.

(At this point I feel compelled to say that at heart I’m a very nonviolent person. I blame Kristol’s shitheating, unbearably banality-of-evil facial rictus for all these unseemly fantasties.)

ZRM: Excellent! I think we have a plan.

Maybe mix them in with the poison ivy and powdered fiberglass?

maybe, maybe….

but how about a box full of these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk5NA9E9QeE

And to make him even more squeamish, they are KOREAN.

If you’ve ever seen “The Power of Nightmares” then you know that the Bill Kristol you see on your TV is not the one who goes home to his wife and kids. It’s an act that he is paid to perform.

Given that I suspect that Kristol knew perfectly well that he was bombing with the Daily Show crowd but just didn’t give a shit. One, he still gets paid to spread his master’s propaganda and two, he knows that his target demographic heard “Our super patriotic military deserves better healthcare than you do” and nodded their empty heads.

They are the ones we should be paying attention to. William Kristol is just a puppet playing to the base. Why do we act as if he is of any importance at all?

Stupid blarts! Hte troops are better than normal people, but only in the abstract.

Kristol’s got a wicked Judge Doom smile. If I run him down with a steam roller and he pops back up we’ll know he’s a toon.

Alternatively, watch for the staff at the Weekly Standard to laugh themselves to death.

If you’ve ever seen “The Power of Nightmares” then you know that the Bill Kristol you see on your TV is not the one who goes home to his wife and kids. It’s an act that he is paid to perform.

That’s what is so monstrous about guys like this.

Given that I suspect that Kristol knew perfectly well that he was bombing with the Daily Show crowd but just didn’t give a shit. One, he still gets paid to spread his master’s propaganda and two, he knows that his target demographic heard “Our super patriotic military deserves better healthcare than you do” and nodded their empty heads.

I think you underestimate. the prevalence of you tube, and the Daily Show posting the whole interview, gives the whole thing a lot more exposure. Time was, when someone bombed on a talking head show, it could be forgotten in a week. But now it can keep getting regurgitated, and the confluence of contradictory talking points Billy tried to use was an astonishingly clear refutation of most of his own arguments. Nothing more effective, or funnier, than someone defeating themselves in a debate.

They are the ones we should be paying attention to. William Kristol is just a puppet playing to the base. Why do we act as if he is of any importance at all?

No, I think people like Kristol and Doughbob are control vectors. They help to chart the path that the base follows. That’s why it’s important to debunk the crap as soon as possible.

Kristol certainly is a puffed-up choad who overestimates his own importance, however, and that’s why the pie-throwing was so effective.

Alas, I too am somewhat pathetically non-violent. Mr. Smarmypants McFuckstick just brings out the Walter Mitty/Freddy Krueger parts of me. A guy can dream, can’t he?

I am thinking strapped to the rear bumper of car 88 in the local Lion’s Club annual Demolition Derby fundraiser for spinal cord injuries. That could work for me. And after the big derby, he stays on the car when it goes in the crusher.

If Kristol can persuade Palin to do a stint on Stewart’s show, it’ll be by far the most worthwhile thing he’s done in his pointless life … which is why I sincerely doubt it will ever come to pass. Why fuck up a solid track-record of futile whiffing with a big ugly home-run?

William Kristol is just a puppet playing to the base. Why do we act as if he is of any importance at all?

Bravo! We have a winner!

The only reason Kristol & his fellow parrots were once considered “influential” was a talent for echoing the mindset of the elite. The Kristols, Krauthammers & Limbaughs are clowns – sure, they disgust me plenty, but personally, I’m saving up my batting-arm for the ringleaders. They buy & sell these puny little man-whores the way most of us change socks … & they know that as long as everyone nods or snarls (it doesn’t much matter which) along with the crazy noises coming from the clowns, their monkey-business-as-usual show can stay on the road indefinitely.

Kristol (and Feith, too)- I’d use my old standby- jack handle from 60’s Ford or Chevvy. Works wonders in the hands of an expert such as myself.

Two observations.

First, this is an important piece of media –crucial, even– because Kristol comes right out and admits what they’re thinking, on a personal level, in the neocon world. They literally believe certain Americans are less equal than others. They believe this. And for this guy to say it is huge. He’s not some minor functionary, he’s one of the main voices of the movement. Essentially he’s acknowledging here that a kind of misanthropistic, Calvinist system of judgment should be applied to citizens of this country, so that the superior persons — those in positions of traditional power, and (less sincerely, I am sure) the armed forces that execute their will — are treated to the entire fruits of society, while others must compete for whatever these chosen few deign to pass along.

Second, as a human being, rather than a mouthpiece, Mr. Kristol has cemented with this appearance a unique place in the world today: he’s a bigger asshole than George W. Bush. He is such an immense, gaping asshole that he is visible from outer space, the creases and furrows of his mimping aperture throwing crisp, radial shadows like those ancient impacts that scored starbursts into the arid surface of the moon. But he is no powdery crater. This is an asshole positively streaming with ius cloaca, or rectum gravy, spilling brindle rivers of filth across the land that will poison us all for generations to come. This heaving, greasy starfish of reeking abomination has no place in our sunlit world. He is an obscenity. I wish upon him a case of hemorrhoids so spectacular they light up the sky at night, inflamed crimson, overcoiled with rope-like purple varicosities, sweating and purulent. May they consume him. What a turd-mine.

Jim (fine name, that):

Agree with the larger analysis except for one point. These sock puppets haven’t changed in years. It’s the same old gang of gits and pompous Tory farts that’s been around for as long as I can remember. They haven’t had to sell ANY of them. Squishing/mangling/pummeling a few of them (rhetorically, figuratively, but alas, not actually) might have an impact. A guy can dream, can’t he?

I also noticed that Kristol stopped just short of saying that just as the veterans deserve to have better health care than normal run of the mill plain old Americans, HE and his compatriots deserve (as is their due, of course) even betterer health care!

Looch, that’s what I plan to rectify with my Wingnut Processor (see description above)

Looking for capital to cobble together a prototype. I’m considering adding a woodchipper at the end, upon consultation with my colleagues, not even zombies wanted to touch that guy’s brains.

In the spirit of Monster Garage, and depending on availability of investment money, I may even have that chipper installed into an H3.

It’s all about the cockpunch with the young set these days, isn’t it? Fine. But why no love for a the simple and timeless kick in the nads?

LOL, haters.

lawnguylander, see my description above. Included a large boot to the nads.

I may be a zombie, but I have a sense of tradition.

When Jim compared the bobblehead rate of change to rate of change of socks, I assumed he meant rarely.

*sniff*

ZRM, you are a, er, Zombie after my own heart (not brains, I hope!). Several thoughts that may add a touch of panache to your masterful (if yet-to-be-funded) Wingnut Processor.

First, delivery to the WP offers many opportunities. I am thinking Mr. Kristol deserves a nice, long ride in the back of a large dump truck filled with bowling balls. Driven, of course, along winding, pothole-filled back roads with many, many stop signs.

Second, I would make one small suggestion concerning the woodchipper idea, it concerns such devices’ lack of propulsion. Similar results can be obtained with a self-propelled combine harvester. The rotating blades element is a constant between the two, of course, but the latter provides mobility. This element proffers the opportunity to chase Mr. Kristol (and other candidates for WP, to be sure) through brown, drying cornstalks before gobbling them up and spraying them across a barren, fall landscape.

But please, don’t allow these modest suggestions slow the development of the WP. Onward!

You libs are pathetic! Don’t you realize that when taint lapping ectoparasites like Fistol are given better benefits than working stiffs, you’ve reached the best of both worlds?

That look on Jon’s face when Kristol said “Sarah Palin will do you”

That was pure Johnny Carson. (I’m so old I remember Johnny Carson).

As was the look he maintained when shuffling through his notes.

Took me right back, I can tell you.

“William Kristol is just a puppet playing to the base. Why do we act as if he is of any importance at all?”

Because he and his ilk are more than “just a puppet.” Through their well-funded think tanks and media empires, they have influence well beyond their numbers or intelligence. Who was whispering in Dick Cheney’s ear all through his years out of power, eh? The Chicago School asshats really need to be rendered as irrelevant as Sarah Palin’s high school GPA.

And as a further refinement to the WP, I’d suggest replacing the dump truck full of bowling balls with a cement mixer…full of bowling balls.

Lawn Guy Lander makes an excellent point which his superb picture illustrates in an apposite manner. The repressive tool of the state (Kristol) is booted in the nadular region by the Mouse of Strength and Purity (Stewart).
It is the sort of action photo that might do well as a section of full length motion picture, one might say that it would rate

In a civilized country Kristol would already have had his appointment with the guillotine.

Tintin, the never-ending “toilet” photoshops are getting pretty old and really juvenile. You might want to try and leave junior high school and come up with a new visual concept.

Bring on the lavatory shoops!

“You might want to try and leave junior high school and come up with a new visual concept.”

You must be new here. Juvenile humor, let me show you it.

Lexxus Camaro, exotic dancer said,

July 29, 2009 at 3:53

All hail the new King of teh Intarwebs.

I read that earlier, on the bus. I got some very strange looks.

Sheer. Fucking. Poetry.

Similar results can be obtained with a self-propelled combine harvester. … This element proffers the opportunity to chase Mr. Kristol (and other candidates for WP, to be sure) through brown, drying cornstalks before gobbling them up and spraying them across a barren, fall landscape.

Needs suitable musical accompaniment.

Lexxus Camaro: That was sheer beauty.

Lexxus Camaro: Bowling balls, poison ivy and combine harvesters are all well and good, but pale in comparison to your word feast, which itself is visible from space. Out loud I did laugh, and I don’t do that much.

Musical Accompaniment!! A soundtrack!!

EXACTLY what the Processor was lacking! Smut, you’re a genius.*

Which way to the Patent Office?

*For certain definitions of genius which do not involve sharing profits

Lock him in a room and shoot fireworks at him…sure he’ll dodge the first few, but he will tire soon eough. Pretty and productive.

Not sure what you think zero-sum means. But actually Kristol is admitting that health care IS a zero-sum game. Such games have the property that one player’s advantage is another’s disadvantage, and whatever we might like to be the case, a health care resource consumed by one person can’t be consumed by anyone else.

I think the term is so widely and so frequently misused as to be, well, useless, but to that extent this is a zero-sum situation.

a health care resource consumed by one person can’t be consumed by anyone else.

If you’re talking about a bandage or suppository, this is accurate.

But there are very definitely expandable resources in other areas that healthcare can actually be a win-win game, particularly in preventive maintenance.

Which is what a single payer system would, by definition, promote.

Kristol is so intellectually lazy that he was totally unprepared for Stewart’s rather obvious question. He had never thought of the ramifications of saying “troops deserve better health care,” simply because it has never, ever crossed his mind that the US government is the entity providing health care for the troops. This helps prove in fact how little Kristol ever thinks of our service members as individual human beings at all.

a health care resource consumed by one person can’t be consumed by anyone else.

If you’re talking about a bandage or suppository, this is accurate.

Eating suppositories is, indeed, a foolish and dangerous thing to do. Unless the other person asks, or commands, you to do it. Even then you should probably use a mouthwash afterwards, I read in a book once.