I’m Sure It’ll be an Unarousing Success, Jerry…

Jerry Falwell’s latest column praises the Liberty Council’s abstinence-promoting “Day of Purity”:


As the so-called mainstream media continue to inundate our nation’s young people with messages and images glorifying sexual immorality, a new movement encouraging teens and adolescents to remain sexually pure is gathering steam.

There’s nothing steamier than sexual purity, after all.

It’s called the Day of Purity, and it takes place each year on Feb. 14. This year, Liberty University and Liberty Christian Academy are participating – along with thousands of other schools and organizations – in this important campaign.

Mathew Staver, president and general counsel of Liberty Counsel – which originated the Day of Purity – believes it is high time to encourage young people to remain sexually pure and resist the popular media messages that tell young people that sex is virtually expected behavior for them.

Call me crazy, but I don’t think the abstinence-promoters are quite sexy enough to compete with the booty videos that kids watch on MTV. Let’s do a quick compare-and-contrast:


Exhibit A: Liberty Council President Matt Staver. Could probably win a beauty pageant for goofy-assed middle-aged white guys, but not just else.


Exhibit B: Beyonce, shakin’ that azz.

Now, which would you rather watch on TV?

I should point out that I have absolutely no problem with encouraging teens to postpone sex until they’re old enough to handle any unintended consequences. But folks like Jerry Falwell and the Liberty Council aren’t interested in educating people- they only want to frighten and misinform. Just watch:

He points to recent studies showing that one teen every eight seconds is infected with a sexually transmitted disease. One HIV-support advocacy organization reports that in 2005, 2.3 million young people under the age of 15 contracted HIV.

Jerry, what the hell are you talking about? 2.3 million children have been diagnosed with HIV worldwide, and I’m pretty sure they weren’t all infected last year.*

*Corrected. I hate it when I’m a dumbass.


Comments: 35


I’m proud to be the host of this dance, and proud to be the host of my virus!


um, your link actually points to a page about hiv/aids in the uk. i think the page you want is http://www.avert.org/worldstats.htm

also, i would imagine that a sizable percentage of those under the age of 15 with aids got it from their mother, rather than from sex.

LA Confidential Pantload

Well, stuff all you immoral godless libs…we here at Wank For America proudly stand at attention for Reverend Falwell and join with him to celebrate the Day of Purity. While all of you oversexed pervs are trading candy and condoms on the heathen “Valentine’s” Day, we’ll be showing the world traditional Americhristian values by playing all the old-time innocent games: “Squeeze the Weasel,” “Spank the Monkey…” Why, I could go on and on. But you get the idea. Anybody got a Kleenex?


Um, my teenager says it was a close call, but he’ll go with Beyonce.

And he appreciates the picture.


From the “dangers of pornography” pamphlet available on the groups website:

“Like other addictions, viewing pornography gives temporary
sati sf act ion but has to be repeated over and over again until
it becomes the focus and purpose of life. Other important
parts of your life are lost, ignored or destroyed. With
addiction, curiosity eventually moves on to hard core
pornography and a desire to act out those things that he or
she has seen.
This second phase of pornography includes viewing more
pornography and finding others who will participate with
him or her. The addiction, like others, has no limits, but
can lead to abuse of self and of others.
FBI files of serial ki llers report that they have one thing in
common – addiction to pornography. The same is true for
those who sexually abuse children. Since it varies from
person to person how long it will take to become addicted,
the wise choice is to stay away completely.
Pornography is a serious invasion of your mind and
should be completely avoided. The images you see will
remain with you forever.

Forever eh? Sounds like someone fell for the old goatse.cx trick…


Is that parody abstinence website that promotes sodomy as an alternative to sex still up? I can’t remember the name of it.

I do, of course, remember Iron Hymen and Sex is for Fags though.


I have no objection to sexual purity. In fact, I prefer my entertainment to involve pure sex. (None of that phony-baloney “story line” and “dialogue.”)


Now this is a truly worthy target.


No, no, I think you guys are missing the point. It’s the DAY of Purity. Like the “Great American Smoke Out”. And I for one am gonna participate. For that one day I shall abstain from internet porn, BET Videos and touching myself in sexually suggestive ways. In fact, I shall even forgo bathing, as it is an activity performed naked, and that’s just not pure…



Now, which would you rather watch on TV?

Um, ew. Eew, eeew, eeeeewwwww! How about…
Exhibit C: NEITHER!!


This second phase of pornography includes viewing more
pornography and finding others who will participate with
him or her.

Dammit, why don’t people tell me these things? Here I’ve been stuck at Level One all this time with more than enough experience points to get to Level Two!


He points to recent studies showing that one teen every eight seconds is infected with a sexually transmitted disease.

That teen needs to start using condoms.


That teen needs to start using condoms.

That teen needs to just stop leaving his damn house!


Brad, in the interest of giving hetereosexual girls and homosexual boys equal time, you should have provided a third option.


There would be no need for a Day of Purity if every household had mp3 copies of Dr. BLT’s
You’re Not the Kind of Ho That Santa Had in Mind and
“Great Sex” Can Ruin Your Life.


Oh God, that isn’t *another* one of BLT’s multiple-posting-personalities is it? That would explain the half-assed logic of recent posts and the shameless pimping of this one. Can someone check into this and reassure me that he does not, indeed, have a doppelganger running around here?


Taube, do I say you are shamelessly pimping your words when you offer them for free in a post? Why is it that once music is combined with words, suddenly offering them for free becomes shameless pimping? I’m sorry, Taube, but I just don’t see the logic.

Dr. BLT, The Song Blogger

Yeah, Taube, and BTW, what do you mean by “multiple-posting personalities”? I’ve been limiting myself to only two lately, and that’s the perfect number for virtual ventriloquism.


Yes, sadly, Taube, they’re both Bruce. And, yes, it’s as irritating as you’d imagine.


Marq, I’m irritated that there is only one of you.


Sorry guys, the pics didn`t load…

As much as I love an amazingly awesome Beyonce, I need my pic of a jowely Falwell, and I want to see what kind of Nepolean Dynamite look-alike is promoting abstanace. Staver and VBen, I`m looking at you… you hairy palmed freaks.


“neoconartist” is right-if anything will kill the mood for sex, it’s hearing those songs.


That was the whole idea, Bill. I’m glad we’re in agreement that the songs are effective.

These songs are to be reserved for only those situations in which the sex is in danger of becoming “great” (by the media’s standards, that is). Otherwise, I would suggest “Tonight’s the Night” or, “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart.


Well, pretty much ANY song by Dr. BLT would have that effect.


Bill, if you’re trying to use my songs to get you in the mood for sex, you might want to have your doctor prescribe some viagra instead.

As you know, music serves multiple functions. Although I’m sure there are many children out there that would not have been born had it not been for my songs, my songs are generally geared to stimulate the other head. That’s why I don’t recommend them for adults under the IQ of 140.

If you continue to use my songs to try to get you “in the mood” I’ll have to warn you, there will be many more disappointing moments in your future. I can’t blame you for trying, but with a little viagra, and a little Rod Stewart playing in the background, I’m sure your future will be much brighter.


You said “Rod”.


I said “Rod”? Oh mmmmmy God!


“Squeeze the Weasel” ? Ok, that got a spit take! BOL! is that like “flogging the ferret” or “punishing the porpose”?


Regarding this “Day of Purity” being on Valentine’s Day, some people will do anything to get out of buying chocolates and roses!


Nice and informative site….good work!


Very interesting site, beautiful design, thank.


It is healthy, I shall come on your site more often, thank.


hildren born in this country are the restult of some sort of assisted fertilization technology


I love you so much! Great place to visit!


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